Metawizard

You are Metabad, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you've been looking for. You look around and see that it's not much different than when you left it years ago. The only thing is now there are more undead creatures roaming about.

The necromancer has taken control of this place! He must be stopped!

> Fart

Farting is an excellent way to get rid of undead, so you decide to do just that. It works like a charm and soon all the undead are dead.

Metabad: "I'm glad I could help."

> Get chicken wings to celebrate

Afterwards you go back home and eat some chicken wings. This was quite delicious.

> Sleep

You rest for awhile and then you think about what happened today. You can't believe how easy it was to defeat those undead creatures. You wonder if you should try to become a wizard or something else since you seem to have a knack for magic.

> Apply to Hogwarts

You decide to apply to Hogwarts because you want to learn magic. You also need money for school fees. Unfortunately the application process takes too long and by the time you're done with it, you realize that you don't really have any skills other than being good at playing video games.

> Lie on your application

You lie on your application saying that you're a wizard. After all, you did beat up some undead things and killed a lich.

"Hello, my name is     William Potter and I am very talented in the art of battle magic!"

> Mail in your application

You mail in your application. Your letter is accepted and you receive a letter back from the headmaster explaining why he didn't accept you.

Headmaster: "Congratulations on getting into Hogwarts, but unfortunately we don't admit students who claim they're wizards.

> Bribe the headmaster

You send a large amount of gold coins to the headmaster in exchange for him letting you in. He gives you permission to enter.

Headmaster: (Sigh) Well, I suppose it's better than nothing...

> Take the train to Hogwarts

You take the train to Hogwarts. When you arrive, you find out that you're one of the first ones there. As soon as you walk through the doors, everyone else follows suit.

> Go to the dining hall

You go to the dining hall where you see many people eating. You notice that most of them look like they're in their twenties and thirties. You wonder if this place will be crowded when dinner time comes around.

> Eat

As you sit down, you notice that there aren't many tables available. There are only four chairs left and they're all taken. The food isn't bad though so you finish your meal quickly.

> Kill someone with magic to assert your dominance

You decide to kill someone with magic to assert your dominance. You cast a fireball at a man sitting nearby. It hits him directly in the chest causing him to fall off his chair and onto the floor. He screams before collapsing dead instantly.

> Smile

You grin at yourself for killing someone with magic. You then proceed to kill another person with magic. This time it's a woman who was trying to steal something from you. She falls backwards after she gets hit by your fireball and drops her bag of gold coins on the ground.

> Fart

You cast a firebolt at a group of men surrounding you. They scream and run away screaming about being burned alive. You laugh at them as they try to escape while burning alive.

> Keep killing

You continue killing until you've killed twenty-five people with magic. You stand up and stare at the bodies of those you've killed.

Headmaster: (Sigh) So much for my dream student...(sigh)...

> Ask the headmaster if you can be his boyfriend

You approach the headmaster and ask if he wants to be your boyfriend. He says yes, but warns you not to do anything too stupid because he'll get mad at you.

> Kiss the headmaster

You kiss the headmaster and say "I love you." Then you leave the castle.

When you enter the carriage, you notice that it's empty. You think about how lucky it is that nobody saw what happened today since if anyone had seen, they'd probably kill you right now.

> Adopt three dogs

You take out your wand and cast a charm on the horses. You ride towards the capital of Larion, which looks very different than it did yesterday. As you near the city gates, you hear shouting coming from outside.

> Investigate

You gallop through the streets and see a large crowd gathered around some sort of battle. A lot of people are injured or dead. You look behind you and see several corpses lying on the ground next to a pile of broken weapons.

"What's going on?"

> Wait

You wait patiently for a moment and then finally turn around. The crowd has dispersed and most of the wounded have been taken care of. Some are still crying over their loved ones who were killed during this attack.

> Kill every last one of them with magic

You cast a fireball at the crowd and watch as they're all incinerated. You then turn back to the battlefield where there are several more battles taking place.

A man stands atop a horse looking down upon the carnage below him.

> Fart in his face

You ride forward and throw a fireball at the man. It hits him square in the face, causing him to fall off his horse. You quickly follow up by shooting another fireball into his chest. His body explodes into flames before your eyes.

> Wake up from your dream

You sit up and realize that you've woken up. You don't know why exactly, but you feel like something is wrong. You go to check your surroundings and find yourself in a room made entirely of stone. There's no furniture anywhere else in the room either; everything is just stone.

> Die of hunger

You begin to feel hungry so you walk over to the nearest food source and start eating it. You finish half an apple and feel nothing except hunger. Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your stomach and collapse onto the floor.

"Oh dear god... I'm dying..."

> Die

You lay down on the floor and close your eyes. You don't even know why you're doing this, but you do it anyway.

> Slit your eyes

You stand up and run to the door. You open it and rush outside. You can smell blood everywhere, but you don't pay any attention to it since you want to get home as soon as possible.

> KILL YOURSELF DAMMIT

You jump off the balcony and land on the ground. You pull out your sword and plunge it into your own neck.