Same As Me

Goatman_Jack, December 19, 2017; 17:29 / FB 49032
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Same As Me


My name is Dr. Rory Emerson. And I run an animal euthanasia clinic. With a specialization in fluffies. It's not the most glorious of jobs, but years after retiring as a veterinarian I needed something to do. You can only play golf and watch The Price Is Right so many times before you want to rip out your hair from boredom.

Now I'm sure some of you are wondering. Why euthanasia, and have I worked with fluffies before? Both simple enough answers.

I offer a much more affordable business, rather than taking pets to a traditional veterinarian. I offer both in home, and at facility. Traditionally this can run pet owners anywhere from fifty to near a grand when a veterinarian does this. Me? My packages start at twenty five and max out at two hundred.

And as for fluffies, no. I retired before they came into his world and market. And being licensed to care for them was a whole nother' college process. I was ready to be done. I packed my bags and closed up shop the first chance I got. No time for more college, that's for young kids with hopeful dreams.

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I like nearly everyone in the U.S. Have delt with my share of fluffies, both domestic and ferals demanding that I let them in or give them food. Some yelling at me that. "This is their land now!" They intrigued me just as much anyone before. However, my lawn started to suffer for it. Though a simple investment of a chain link fence solved that problem. The occasional smarty would get under my skin. Though a nice swat with the broom was almost always more than enough to send them away. Various friends of mine jumped on the band wagon of purchasing them once they became a real problem and therefore much cheaper. Some were extremely well behaved little angles, others unfortunately ended up being spoiled little brats, who despite training and work, ended up in my office.

Ahem... Getting off track, excuse me. I learned all that I could about these amazing little creatures of science. Various online forums, conventions, okay I admit. I took a few weekend classes here and there to see how they work at the local community college. Got money to burn and far too much time, why not? I was no mean an expert on fluffies, but as a former vet myself. I pride myself on being at least abit more well off than the average person.

But unfortunately, there were more dark sides to them than just smarties and their breeding, or even poor behavior. Abusers... People who to tortured the poor things just because they could. They'd do terrible things from plucking out eyes, burning them, drowming them despite their fear of water, to "pillowing" them. A.K.A, removing all of their legs. Some people believe that these so called "pillow fluffs." Can be just as happy as a traditional fluffy...

But I've euthanized enough of them to know, that's complete bullshit. Not once have I ever met a genuinely happy pillow fluff... They always come in depressed repeating that same line. "Wan die..." Over, and over. Just hearing that, in their child like voices... You never get used to it. All I can offer them is a gentle goodbye. And attempt to keep their owners from buying more and pillowing the poor things. I keep tabs of who sends me what... When they actually come in and have the service done. I upload their information to a do not sell national list. Wether I've done anything or not, I couldn't tell you.

I keep getting off track excuse me... Anyways! I rented out a few office spaces downtown and had them all connected. The setup is simple enough. Waiting room where my secretary Lisa works, she handles all the phone calls and appointments. This is usually where owners come and wait. Simple enough room. Just posters with various fluffy facts and old outdated magazines. Yes, I am that Doctor! And a tv up in the corner, usually tuned to the local news.

They may choose to have their fluffy stay with them in here. Or let their fluffy run around the play room. Which as its name implies, is just an unusually large safe room with toys, fluff-tv playing on constant loop, a few nurses to supervise and play with fluffies, or read to them for story time. And my personal attendant fluffy. Nurse Joy... What? I've loved Pokèmon since I was a kid, and these are the closest thing we've got for now. Anywho, she's a white unicorn with a scarlet red mane and tail. We let her wear a old nurses paper hat. She loves it, and she loves her job. Shes closer to being Lisa's pet than mine really, she goes home with her. But I bought her and take care of her during the day.

Not so much at first though, always making friends who'd end up taking. "Fowevah sweepies." But after much training and explaining that these fluffies are in a lot pain and or very old and sad. That forever sleepies is a good thing for them. It took her awhile, but she finally learned and makes sure every fluffy gets as much hugs as they need and a friend to fall asleep on. Though I know, deep down it breaks her heart every time one of her new friends goes to sleep for the last time. Aye yah... That's the worse thing about fluffies I must say. They make friends far too easily, and it hurts more than we could ever hope understand. Hell, that's why they call it forever sleepies, because they can't wrap their little minds around the actual concept of death.

Gah always getting off track, forgive me. I always make sure to have Lisa inform owners that the play room is free of charge while they wait. Some owners just want their pets dead because they can't take care of them, some fluffies are just too old, some who like before can't take care of fluffy properly but don't want it to suffer in a shelter. Either way, I try and suggest that while they wait. It's best for their pets to enjoy their final moments. It makes it easier for both parties. Though older grey fluffs tend to know the end is near, and are far too old to play. And would rather just snuggle into their owners lap until it's time.

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Then our final front room is our sleepy time room... Similar to out play room, this is where our fluffies, save for ferals, nameless drop offs, and smarties are sent after receiving their euthanasia shots. There are beds spread around the room with various blankets and cuddly toys. Owners are welcome and encouraged to lay next to their fluffy and pet them and tell them how much they love them for the final time before they drift into sleep forever.

Fluffy metabolism is fast, and most drugs will outright kill a fluffy, hence the extra college courses on how to actually treat them separate from most animals. But I've come up with a formula that takes around fifteen to twenty minutes before the fluffy passes away. There's no pain save for the shots themselves. Most clients scream and cry about the "wowstest huwties!" And "Meanie doctow!" The typical fluffy overreaction to everything. But I've learned to tune it out. The pain subsides within minutes and they forget it ever happened by the time one of the nurses brings them to the safe room.

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Then we have our less pleasant areas in the back. Our gas chamber. It's where ferals brought from the street, smarties, people just choosing the cheapest package, the city exterminators, nameless drop off in boxes, breeding mares from mills who've lost their "value." The rest who just want them gone.

It's just a plain white room. No toys, no tv, no happy music, no warm colored walls. These fluffies are simply herded in at the end of every day and nitrogen gas is pumped into the room from a vent on the floor for several minutes until nothing moves. The garbage men make their final stop for the bio waste and I go home.

The second room is just holding cages. Since the process is quick and I'm busy during the day anything dropped off city or likewise are kept in simple metal cages. They're provided at least some last comforts. It's warm and it cool inside, better than a cold winter day struggling along, or a burning summer afternoon dying of heat stroke. They're provided a large trough of spaghetti flavored kibble, various water bottles spread around so there's enough to go around. And the comfort of being around friends before they go. Some still cry and beg to be let out, usually abandoned domestics or smarties. Ferals are usually happy to live the small amount of luxury they've never known.

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Packages are priced and described as such-

Basic-$25: Pet is dropped off by legal owner and owner signs away rights to pet. Pet is given to staff and placed in holding cages in back until euthanasia by nitrogen along with other fluffies at the end of the day. Fluffy is picked up by community bio waste management.

Basic City-10$ Per Fluffy: All fluffies brought in from exterminators and or city officials are given a discount for "bulk" amounts of fluffies. Same procedure as basic owner package where fluffies are kept in holding cages until gassing.

Advance Package- $75: *Walk Ins welcome but appointment preferred. Owners bring their pet in and spend any amount of time up until close with their pet in the play room with other fluffies and owners. When ready fluffies and owners *Highly recommended, follow Dr. Emerson to the euthanasia room where Dr. Emerson administers various shots to the fluffy. The owner and or nurse bring the fluffy to the sleepy time room to spend final moments saying goodbye to their pets. Euthanized fluffy is inspected by Dr. Emerson to confirm death, then returned to owner for disposal.

Premium Package(Appointment only.)- $150: All listed in the advanced package. But owner and fluffy have a short photography session provided by Autumn Perez at Smitten In The Mitten Photography studio. As a final memento for the grieving owner. Fluffy is cremated afterwards and owner may pick up ashes at their convenience in decorative urn.

Ultimate package(Appointment only.)- $200: All listed above in premium and advance package. But fluffy and owner are given a special coupon for a paid spaghetti dinner for two at Vitale's Authentic Italian (Fluffy friendly.) Restaurant the night before or day of. Fluffy and owner get a maximum of two hours alone in play room prior to shot administration and sleepy time room. Fluffy is cremated and ashes are placed in custom urn that the owner may choose to pick up at their convenience within the next day.