YOU NOT THE VICTIM

Covet: Kelsey was sitting in the smaller recording room, playing on the piano as she plunked something out. Trying to write something to help with the stress she'd put herself in recently. Kelsey leaned forward on her elbow making an unattrective plunk sound as she leaned in and stared at her blank notebook.
Alexithymiaa: -Brad was sitting on the couch half working on his laptop in his lap and half working on eating a chicken sandwich out of a styrofoam take out container from the cafe. He'd been working quite a bit overtime the last few days to keep up without Evan, and was counting down the days until he would be back. Hearing the thud on the piano, he raised his brows, glancing in her direction to watch.-
Covet: Kelsey's head sunk down and she crossed her arms to lay her head on them giving a sigh. She'd been going through conflicting emotions all day and it was starting to take it's toll on her.
AlexithymiaaAlexithymiaa : "That didn't sound good." He called out, swallowing the food in his mouth before speaking again. "Going to try again?"-
Covet: "No." Kelsey said though it was slightly muffled. " That's the sound that matches my mood right now."
Alexithymiaa: "Well then it was spot on." He said and took another bite of his chicken sandwich, not exactly feeling sorry for her after last night's conversation.-
Covet: She picked her head up a little and glared at him. "You know your commentary isn't necessary. I can tell you're annoyed with me just by the look on your face."
Alexithymiaa: "How perceptive." He mumbled, more to himself, but he wasnt exactly very quiet. "I won't say anything then." He took another bite of his sandwich, setting it down in its container and moving his hands back to his computer.-
Covet: "No no, you're already in this deep, so you might as well keep going. It's not like I can feel anymore worse about myself. And I know you don't have any sympathy because it's all my fault." Kelsey said with a snarky tone to her voice.
Alexithymiaa: "Why should I say anything when you clearly have the intentions of doing all the talking for me?" He shot back, talking around the food in his mouth.-
Covet: "Fuck you Bradley." Kelsey said as she got up and slid the door closed between them hard, and then just kind of buckled as the water works began.
Alexithymiaa: "Uhuhhh....." He mumbled, hearing the door slam. He moved his hands over the keyboard to type a few things into his calendar, speaking again. "Are you going to quit treating me like everything is my fault, yet?"-
Covet: She couldn't really hear him and didnt' really want to because she didn't need help with her own pity party. Walking back over to the Piano, she just layed her head back down and hit the same three keys over and over softly while she cried.
Alexithymiaa: -Not hearing a response, he rolled his eyes and just assumed she was mad at him all over again, which only irritated him more because all he'd done was try to help her and she'd just been an asshole to him. "Fine, be a bitch. See what I care." He mumbled.-
Covet: Kesey started hitting the keys harder before she was just banging on them a couple of times , her shoulders shaking a little. Then she got up and walked out of the recording room, walking past where Brad was ashe did her best to keep her breathing in check, until she got outside to some fresh air.
Alexithymiaa: -Listening to her bang on the piano was irking him a bit, but he was dead set against coddling her and telling her everything was fine and dandy when he felt the way he did. Seeing her get up and walk outside, he pushed his computer off his lap to follow her, crossing his arms over his chest. "What is all this?"-
Covet: Kelsey had her arms wrapped tight around her chest, crossed as she paced about trying to get her breathing in check, hearing Brad she went to answer but then just shook her head as all she did was kind of gasp for air between sobs.
Alexithymiaa: "Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? Quit making yourself into the victim when all you've done is attack ME over the last few days." He spoke harshly, annoyed that she was making him feel bad.-
Covet: "Stop..." Kelsey said as she tried to catch her breath, then leaned down to wrap her arms around her knees, tucking her head down. She shook her head at him, as her intake of breath was getting quicker.
Alexithymiaa: "Stop what, being honest?" He asked her, his face stern. "You've done nothing, but shit on me for two days straight and I'm supposed to feel bad that you're upset?"-
Covet: "I'm sorry. But please... Stop.. I can't... I can't... I can't" She said as she felt her chest getting tight.
Alexithymiaa: -He held his hands up in the air, conceding a bit as he leaned against the wall. "What?"-
Covet: It took a little bit but she finally was able to catch her breath long enough in her panic attack to explain to him. "I know I messed up. I know it's my fault. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven at this point, but I don't know how to fix it all either."
Alexithymiaa: "Of course you deserve to be forgiven, but you need to actually apologize genuinely and know what you did wrong in order for you to be forgiven. Like anything else." He started. "And I dont deserve to be treated like shit just because you can't handle yourself."-
Covet: "I know... It's not fair to you. I've been a terrible girlfriend. And I'm sorry for all of that, I don't even know why I went about and said and did what I did, for all of it. It was impulsive and guilt ridden and it feels awful." She said still trying to control her breathing.
Alexithymiaa: "Thank you..." He said in a small voice after a bit of consideration, pointing to the door. "Why don't we go back inside now since it's freezing out and you're in a dress?"-
Covet: Kelsey gave a sollemn nod and stood back up, wiping her cheeks off, heading towards the door. Her arms still tightly wrapped around her.
Alexithymiaa: -He held the door open for her so she could step inside ahead of him, following shortly behind her and letting the door closed once they were inside. "Now chill out. Do you want some of my chicken sandwich?"-
Covet: Kelsey shook her head. "No thank you. I'm not really hungry. My stomach has been in knots." She said taking a deep shuddered breath.
Alexithymiaa: "Well not eating isn't going to make it feel better, that's for sure." He said as he walked over to the couch to take a seat again. "Fries?"-
Covet: She sat down and reached out for some fries, because it was better than nothing. "I'll take a few, I guess." Kelsey said as she sniffled. "I'm sorry...For all of it. For getting into the cocaine, for putting you through all of this... you deserve better."
Alexithymiaa: "You've apologized for the drugs. I'm over the drugs. We make mistakes. Its over and done with. I'm still pretty salty about the exchange that went down with your mom and your dad though."-
Covet: "I know.. but they're still part of the reason the rest of this stuff is happening. The reason why I'm still making mistakes." Kelsey said as she looked down, appearing like a beat puppy. "And you're right about them. I need to be honest with them, regardless of how they respond.
Alexithymiaa: "If they cant accept that you righted your wrongs and took responsibility for yourself, then fuck them." He spoke matter of factly, sinking down on the couch a bit and pulling his laptop over into his lap again.-
Covet: Kelsey nodded her head and just kind of curled up on herself again, leaning into the back of the couch, just kind of staring off. "I should get back home to go relieve Holly... I'll probably be in bed by the time you're finished." She said biting the inside of her cheek, still feeling ashamed and such.
Alexithymiaa: "Alright, I've got some more to take care of here before I head out. Doing Evan's shit on top of this is just really time consuming." He said as he typed on the keyboard again, trying to keep himself organized as best as he possibly could so Evan's return wasn't torture on the poor guy.-
Covet: "Okay, Get home safe." Kelsey said as she got up and started to make her way out, still kind of coming down from the panic attack, and processing that.