JavaScript Xat Bot v3

// ==UserScript==
// @name           Aluf
// @namespace      JSBot
// @author         3nvisi0n
// @version        1.3.3.7
// @description Chat bot for H0rnet.
// @include        http://m.xat.com:10049/*
// @require      http://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.7.1/jquery.js
// @icon         https://mo-bot.googlecode.com/hg/icons/Mo-Bot.png
// @icon64       https://mo-bot.googlecode.com/hg/icons/Mo-Bot.png
// ==/UserScript==

//////////////////
//---SETTINGS---//
//////////////////
var cmdChar = "!"; //Character that starts all commands
var BUFFER_TIME = 3;//How long to wait before parsing messages(so we don't parse old ones)

window.unsafeWindow = window;
AddMessB = unsafeWindow.AddMess;//don't change this is needed for overload
var startTime = time(); //Used so we don't parse old messages
var lastTab = 0;
onload = autowelcome;

//Function stolen from somewhere I don't remember
String.prototype.between = function(prefix, suffix) {
  s = this;
  var i = s.indexOf(prefix);
  if (i >= 0) {
    s = s.substring(i + prefix.length);
  }
  else {
    return '';
  }
  if (suffix) {
    i = s.indexOf(suffix);
    if (i >= 0) {
      s = s.substring(0, i);
    }
    else {
      return '';
    }
  }
  return s;
}
//grabs the unix timestamp
function time() {
    return Math.round((new Date()).getTime() / 1000);
}
var lock = new Boolean();
//Big switch for all cmd handling
function handleCommand(cmd,argu,id) {
    words = argu.split(" ");
    var args = argu.split(" ");
    if (id == "426474638") {
    switch(cmd.toLowerCase()) {
        //reboot
        case "reboot": reb00t(); break;
        case "botkill": shutdown(); break;
        case "test": setTimeout( function() { respond("Up and running"); },1000); break;
        case "autowelcome": autowelcome(id); break;
        case "livebtcprice": setTimeout( function() { respond("http://preev.com"); },1000); break;
        case "goto": gotoChat(argu); break;
        case "spam": setInterval( function() { sendMessage(argu); },1); break;
        case "adv": setInterval( function() { sendMessage(argu); },40000); break;
        case "kick": kick(argu,"Because H0rnet decided so."); break;
        case "ban": ban(argu,"Because H0rnet decided so.", args[1]); break;
        case "member": member(argu);  break;
        case "guest": guest(argu);  break;
        case "mod": mod(argu);  break;
        case "unban": unban(argu); break;
    }
}
    switch(cmd.toLowerCase()) {
        case "yell":
        case "say": setTimeout( function() { respond("["+id+"] "+ argu); },1000); break;
        case "pacmaninsult": setTimeout( function() { respond(argu + ", you eat more balls than pac man"); },1000); break;
        case "repoot": setTimeout( function() { respond("Repooted "+argu+""); },1000); break;
        case "quagmire": setTimeout( function() { respond("Giggity Giggity Goo!"); },1000); break;
        //essay
        case "essay": setTimeout( function() { respond("essaytyper.com"); },1000); break;
        //Facts
        case "funfact": setTimeout( function() { funfacts(); },1000); break;
        //8ball
        case "8ball": setTimeout( function() { eightBall(argu); },1000); break;
        //Encryptions
        case "md5": setTimeout( function() { crypto( argu, "MD5" ); },1000); break;
        case "sha1": setTimeout( function() { crypto( argu, "SHA1" ); },1000); break;
        case "sha256": setTimeout( function() { crypto( argu, "SHA256" ); },1000); break;
        case "sha384": setTimeout( function() { crypto( argu, "SHA384" ); },1000); break;
        case "sha512": setTimeout( function() { crypto( argu, "SHA512" ); },1000); break;
        case "md2": setTimeout( function() { crypto( argu, "MD2" ); },1000); break;
        //insult
        case "insult": setTimeout( function() { insult( argu ); },1000); break;
        //Time
        case "time": time(); break;
        case "date": datetime(); break;
        //locking
        case "lock":
           if(id != "426474638"){
             return;
           }
           lock = true;
          setTimeout( function() {respond("Locking H0rnetBot") },1000);
           break;

           case "unlock":
           if(id != "426474638"){
                return;
           }
           lock = false;
          setTimeout( function() { respond("Unlocking H0rnetBot"); },1000);
           break;
    }
}

//Overloads display function
unsafeWindow.AddMess = function AddMess(tab, s)
{
{
    curTime = time();
    last = s.between("(",")");
    if(curTime >= startTime+BUFFER_TIME) { //Don't start parsing until BUFFER_TIME s has passed
        var id = tab;
        if(tab==0) id = s.between("(",")");
        lastTab = tab;
        if(s.indexOf("<B>")>=0) {
            var msg = s.between("<B>","</B>")+" ";
            if(msg.charAt(0) == cmdChar) {
            if(lock && id != "426474638") {
                          return;
                        }
                var cmd = msg.substring(1,msg.indexOf(" "));
                handleCommand(cmd,msg.substring(msg.indexOf(" ")+1),id);
            }
            }
        }
    }
    AddMessB(tab,s);
}
function autowelcome()
{
setTimeout( function() { sendMessage(" Bot is here!"); } ,2000);
}
function reb00t() {
sendMessage("[Reboot]: Rebooting bot!");
setTimeout(function() { history.go(-1) }, 2000);
}
function shutdown() {
setTimeout( function() { sendMessage("Killing bot!"); } ,2000);
  setTimeout(function() {
  history.go(-5)
  },1000);
}
////////////////////////
//MODERATION FUCNTIONS//
////////////////////////
function kick(id,reason) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage(id, '/k', reason);
}
function ban(id,reason,time) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage(id, '/g'+(time*3600), reason);
}
function guest(id) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage(id, '/r', '');
}
function member(id) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage(id, '/e', '');
}
function mod(id) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage(id, '/m', '');
}
function owner(id) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage(id, '/M', '');
}
function gotoChat(argu) {
    unsafeWindow.DoMessage('/go', argu);
}
//////////////////////
//RESPONSE FUCNTIONS//
//////////////////////

//Responds to whereever the message came from
//in PC/PM(mobile doesn't differentiate) responds via PC
//from main respond to main
function respond(message) {
    if(lastTab==0) {
        sendMessage(message);
    } else {
        sendPC(message,lastTab);
    }
}

//Simply sends a message to main chat
function sendMessage(message) {
    xmlHttp2 = unsafeWindow.getHTTPObject();
    xmlHttp2.open('GET','/Post?m='+message,true);
    xmlHttp2.setRequestHeader("Content-Type", "text/plain");
    xmlHttp2.setRequestHeader("Connection", "close");
    xmlHttp2.send(null);
}
//Sends a message out to PC
function sendPC(message,id) {
    xmlHttp2 = unsafeWindow.getHTTPObject();
    xmlHttp2.open('GET','/Post?u='+id+'&t='+message,true);
    xmlHttp2.setRequestHeader("Content-Type", "text/plain");
    xmlHttp2.setRequestHeader("Connection", "close");
    xmlHttp2.send(null);
}
    function datetime()         //date & time
    {
        var currentDate = new Date()            //reset date
        var day = currentDate.getDate()         //dd
        var month = currentDate.getMonth() + 1  //mm
        var year = currentDate.getFullYear()    //yyyy
        var hr = currentDate.getHours()         //hh
        var min = currentDate.getMinutes()      //mm
        var sec = currentDate.getSeconds()      //ss
        sendMessage( "Date: " + day + "/" + month + "/" + year + " Time: " + hr + "h:" + min + "m:" + sec +"s" );
    }
    function eightBall( argu )
        {
                var randomNumber = Math.floor( Math.random() * 4 ) + 1;
                if( randomNumber == 1 ) sendMessage(  "["+ argu +"] Certainly" );
                else if( randomNumber == 2 ) sendMessage( "["+ argu +"]  Yes" );
                else if( randomNumber == 3 ) sendMessage( "["+ argu +"]  Yes" );
                else if( randomNumber == 4 ) sendMessage( "["+ argu +"]  Yes" );
            }
            function crypto( arg, alg ) //encryption..
    {
            setTimeout( function() // unsafeWindow cannot call GM_cryptoHash()
            {
                    var hashed = GM_cryptoHash( arg, alg );
                    if( alg == "SHA512" ) setTimeout( function() { sendMessage( hashed ); }, 1750 );
                    else if( alg == "SHA384" || alg == "SHA256" ) setTimeout( function() { sendMessage(hashed ); }, 1500 );
                    else setTimeout( function() { sendMessage( hashed ); }, 1000 );
            }, 1);
    }
                   function insult( argu ) //I should of used var insult= [...] but I'm too lazy, by Twin, for some annoying people.
            {
                    var randomNumber = Math.floor( Math.random() * 35 ) + 1;
                    if( randomNumber == 1 ) sendMessage( argu + ", get the fuck out of this chatroom, faggot." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 2 ) sendMessage( argu + ", would you please shut the fuck up?" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 3 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are a retard." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 4 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are the worste skid I have ever seen." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 5 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are pathetic" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 6 ) sendMessage( argu + ", since you have joined this room, our IQ have lowered by 3, I hope you are proud, and may God have mercy on you." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 7 ) sendMessage( argu + ", even if you were twice as smart, you would still be stupid." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 8 ) sendMessage( argu + ", fuck off." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 9 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are unwanted in this chat, please leave by clicking sign out." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 11 ) sendMessage( argu + ", I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 12 ) sendMessage( argu + ", shock me, say something intelligent. " );
                    else if( randomNumber == 13 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are so fat that you download cheats for Wii Fit." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 14 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are the reason God created the middle finger." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 15 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are a cunt" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 16 ) sendMessage( argu + ", yo momma is so poor, I saw her chasing the garbage truck with a shopping list." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 17 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are like a light switch, even a little kid can turn you on." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 18 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are a noob" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 19 ) sendMessage( argu + ", insert insult here (redface)" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 20 ) sendMessage( argu + ", nobody loves you" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 21 ) sendMessage( argu + ", I could compare you to shit, but that would be an insult for the word shit." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 22 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are as smart as a plank" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 23 ) sendMessage( argu + ", I hope a airplane crashes on you while you sleep." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 24 ) sendMessage( argu + ", error is the only word I can use to define how nowhere you are." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 25 ) sendMessage( argu + ", gtfo (d)" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 26 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are not cool :( " );
                    else if( randomNumber == 27 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are not smart." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 28 ) sendMessage( argu + ", stfu please" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 29 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you are a tool" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 30 ) sendMessage( argu + ", I wish cancer on you and all your family." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 31 ) sendMessage( argu + ", out of over 1,000,000 sperm, you were the fastest?" );
                    else if( randomNumber == 32 ) sendMessage( argu + ", I would ask how old you are, but I know you cant count that high." );
                    else if( randomNumber == 33 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you eat more balls than pac-man (xd)");
                    else if( randomNumber == 34 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you eat more balls than pac-man (xd)");
                    else if( randomNumber == 35 ) sendMessage( argu + ", you eat more balls than pac-man (xd)");
            }
            function funfacts() {
            var randomNumber = Math.floor( Math.random() * 20 ) + 1;
            if( randomNumber == 1 ) sendMessage("If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.");
            else if( randomNumber == 2 ) sendMessage("The strongest muscle in proportion to its size in the human body is the tongue.");
            else if( randomNumber == 3 ) sendMessage("Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.");
            else if( randomNumber == 4 ) sendMessage("The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.");
            else if( randomNumber == 5 ) sendMessage("Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.");
            else if( randomNumber == 6 ) sendMessage("The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.");
            else if( randomNumber == 7 ) sendMessage("Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself");
            else if( randomNumber == 8 ) sendMessage("Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.");
            else if( randomNumber == 9 ) sendMessage("Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.");
            else if( randomNumber == 10 ) sendMessage("It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs");
            else if( randomNumber == 11 ) sendMessage("Dogs have four toes on their hind feet, and five on their front feet.");
            else if( randomNumber == 12 ) sendMessage("Butterflies taste with their feet.");
            else if( randomNumber == 13 ) sendMessage("A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.");
            else if( randomNumber == 14 ) sendMessage("A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.");
            else if( randomNumber == 15 ) sendMessage("Elephants are the only mamals that can't jump.");
            else if( randomNumber == 16 ) sendMessage("A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.");
            else if( randomNumber == 17 ) sendMessage("Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating");
            else if( randomNumber == 18 ) sendMessage("Porcupines float in water.");
            else if( randomNumber == 19 ) sendMessage("A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!");
            else if( randomNumber == 20 ) sendMessage("A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.");
            }