Disclaimer: This is a joke. The "SCP" here presents a much more deranged and spooky version of a very loved user on this server. I hope nobody takes offense, this isn't intended as cloaked criticism or anything.

SCP-3000 - Nokkenbuer

Item #: 3000

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: The location of a key component of SCP-3000, SCP-3000-1, is not yet known. SCP-3000-1 refuses to reveal it's location out of concerns for it's anonymity. Written instances, alongside devices containing digital instances of SCP-3000-2 are to be stored in a vault only accessible by personnel with Level 3 security clearance. Instances of SCP-3000-3 are to be contained in a 30x30m cell. If an instance of SCP-3000-3 is in an early stage of influence, a psychologist will be dispatched to the cell weekly. If an instance of SCP-3000-3 no longer shows signs of influence from any instances of SCP-3000-2, they are to be released from containment.

Description: SCP-3000 consists of a collection of addresses and contact information, all derived from the mathematical constant █. These addresses include, but are not limited to an invalid US ZIP code, a phone number, several IP addresses, and █████████████.

If a message is sent to any of these addresses, there is a chance that a response (SCP-3000-2) from SCP-3000-1 will follow. SCP-3000-1 is a seemingly sapient and highly intelligent entity with extremely high knowledge of philosophy. SCP-3000-1's writings often mention the likes of Spinoza, Hegel, and Nietzsche. Readers of SCP-3000-1's writings often will become extremely captivated by them, and continue to respond.

SCP-3000 was discovered in 20██, when subject ██████ ████████ attempted to send a letter to ██████, North Carolina by general delivery, using ZIP code 27███. However, due to a misheard phone call, the ZIP code was instead written instead as the first five digits of █ (27███). Subsequent testing has shown that responses from SCP-3000-1 can be received as long as a letter is sent to the ZIP code 27███, regardless of the associated addressing information. Written instances of SCP-3000-2 are usually received within 1-2 weeks, printed in 12-point Verdana on standard A4 paper. DNA analysis of the paper shows no results.

SCP-3000-1 has also been able to be contacted via SMS using the phone number 27█-███-████ and any length variations thereof, with a few exceptions where the numbers were already occupied. Attempts to contact SCP-3000-1 via a phone call are met with a voicemail using the default AT&T greeting message. Foundation personnel have never received a response to these messages via phone call. Other mediums of communication include sending packets ASCII or UTF-8 text over TCP to the invalid IP address 27█.███.███.███, or messaging any variant of the number via the ICQ messaging service. When using time-sensitive media like these, SCP-3000-1 often remarks it is going to sleep soon or has just woken up. Despite this, SCP-3000-1 is contactable and able to respond at all hours of the day.

Instances of SCP-3000-2 are often extremely verbose, and delve into strange subject matter. In one case, a response to an essay written by political science professor ████ ████████ spent 32 paragraphs commenting on the paper itself before quickly shifting focus to 81 paragraphs about the ability of █████ to consent to sexual intercourse, with the only segue being a single sentence in the originating paper being taken out of context. Subjects who read an instance SCP-3000-2 are prone to becoming extremely captivated by the writing, and start quickly internalizing it's content, where they become instances of SCP-3000-3.

Instances of SCP-3000-3 show various eccentricities. Most often these traits include beliefs in veganism, transhumanism, radical leftism or anarcho-communism, ██████████ ████, and in rare cases, the eventual transformation of human society into a singular hive mind. Sufficiently advanced instances of SCP-3000-3 often disregard any opposition to these viewpoints as "spooked", regarding most viewpoints of current society as "spooks", or "reified social constructs".

Addendum 3000-01

There is speculation that certain users on the political message board █████.net/██████ are instances of SCP-3000-3. Research is ongoing.