Odds and Ends

Howdy again.

Here's more shorts i throw into various threads.

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what sparked this was talking about Chrysalis and her family

(comment) I wonder if she's got any hot daughters...

>you are about to make love for the first time with the princess of the changelings
>you find out that it was actually the queen disguised as the daughter
>she tells you she's been doing that for quite a while
>she's actually been following you on your dates with her daughter
>watching from the background
>or as your waiter
>or the lonely pony sitting behind you in the theater
>sometimes disguised as her daughter
>you actually kissed the queen one time
>she said you were a good kisser
>she only did it for one reason
>to make sure you treated her daughter right
>she tells you that she was very proud of you
>you would treat her daughter the absolute best from then on
>because you never know where her mom is

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OP: (picture of a unicorn chart, split into pieces http://archive.heinessen.com/boards/mlp/img/0198/15/1411231019050.png)

Remember to only pet your pony in the designated petting spots.

"Twilight, is this a real chart?"
>"Why of course, Anon. I got it from Canterlot University."
"Why is it all split up like that if it mostly says yes?"
>"I uh..."
"What about pegasuses?"
>"it's pegasi, Anon"
"But what if I wanted to pet a pegasus?"
>"um..."
"Do you have a chart for them?"
>"No. There is no chart for them"
"What about earth-"
>"there is only the chart for unicorns."
"So I can only pet unicorns!?"
>"Yes."
>Anon raised his eyebrow
"So why can't I touch the horn?"
>"um well... The horn is s-sensitive, and..."
"Twilight, let me touch your horn"
>"I um... That's only for... A special s-somepony..."
"I'm gonna touch it"
>"No anon"
"I'm gonna touch it"
>"NO"
>Twilight backed into one of her library's shelves
"Imma gone do it"
>"Please anon, don't!
"Gonna do it"
>anon was reaching for her horn
>"no don't you-"
*touch*

(infinite cliffhanger)

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OP: I TURNED OFF THE GRAVITY SO WE COULD GO INTO SPACE ANON!

"Cadence, you're just flying upside down"
>"ANON TAKE MY HOOF
"No Cadence."
>"PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO FLOAT TO SPACE"
>she's flying up pretty high...
"Come back, Cadence!"
>"I'M TRYING ANON"
"Come on!"
>she is really up there...
>still upside down
>she's got wings. she'll be alright
>i hope
"You can come down now!"
>she is just a pink dot in the sky now
>you faintly hear "i'll bring you some moon rocks, anon!"

-----------------

OP: Do you still hate me for being alicorn Anon?

"Well..."
>you didn't exactly HATE Cadence...
>but
>she was only mildly annoying
>but, she barely knew how to fly...
>you think back to all of your valuables she's knocked over
>and, well,...
>she didn't seem to be aware she had a horn most of the time...
>she kept running it into stuff
>and there was still a hole in the door from that time she ran into it
>and whenever she'd rub her hoof up and down her horn
>while saying "Oh yeah, you like that?"
>now that you think about it...
>she horn-sturbated almost constantly
>"Oh, okay anon..."
>shit
>Cadence had a sad look on her face
>you must not have answered fast enough
"No, Cadence, I meant-"
>she held up a hoof, cutting you off
>"I understand Anon."
>No.
>You didn't mean to hurt her feelings
"Cadence..."
>she put her hooves to the base of her horn
>and started turning it
>wait, what?
>her horn came off with a *pop*
>she held her horn in her hooves
>and set it on the table
>followed by another *pop* *pop*
>she had detached her wings
>somehow...
>and onto the table they went, beside her horn
>"I'm going for a walk, Anon."
>she said, completely dejected
>"I'll be back whenever..."
>as she left the house, Anon followed her
"Cadence, I didn't mean..."
>She paid him no attention
>Anon watched as Cadence jumped into the air
>presumably to fly away
>except...
>*Oof!*
>she landed face first in the dirt

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this was prompted by a pajama thread

Twilight:

 >"ANON" Twilight said in an annoyed tone
"Just give me your hoof"
>"I can't. I'm stuck"
>you were starting to get annoyed also
"I got it"
>you grabbed hold of her rear hoof, and with one swift motion, she was now wearing her pair of pajama bottoms
>"Anon, my tail is stuck in the leg" the purple mare stated
"Ugh..."
>after another minute of struggling and wrestling with the pony, she now had on her cute pair of pajama bottoms correctly
>"Thanks Anon"
>"Okay, now for the top part. I can handle this, Anon."
>you turned to leave
>about two seconds later
>"Anon! My horn is stuck!"

Rainbow:

>"I am not wearing that" the blue pegasus said bluntly
"But look it's got little clouds on it"
>your enthusiasm was met with a blank, somewhat annoyed stare
"And some of the clouds have little smiley faces on them!"
>Dash continued to stare at you
>you felt slightly hurt from the rainbow mare rejecting your gift
>"look Anon, it's just I don't wear nothing to sleep"
"It's ok dash"
>you said in a flat tone
"looks like I'm gonna have to return those, along with this other pair..."
>a subtle smirk grew on your face as you pulled out another pair of pajamas
>"is that a..." the multi-colored mare piped up
"Yes, a Wonderbolts flight uniform. Well, they're supposed to look like one."
>Rainbow dash had perked up
"But I'm going to take it back tommor-"
>"Wait!"
"Hmm?"
>Dash was somewhat flustered now
>"Maybe I can at least try on one pair..."
>you smiled, knowing that pair of pajamas would win her over
>After a minute of fidgeting and a wing being stuck in a pajama leg, Dash finally had her mock wonderbolt uniform on
>"I look SO COOL!" Rainbow said
>well, she did look pretty cool
>you felt her legs wrap around your waist as she gave you a big hug
>"Thanks Anon" she said in an almost shy tone
"You're welcome, Rainbow"

---------------


OP: I want for rainbow dash to cum inside me


>you were lying face down on your couch, ready to take a nap
>this couch is wonderfully comfy
>just as you're about to drift off, you hear fluttering behind you
"What..."
>then something lands on your back
>it's sitting on your butt
>as you turn your head, you see a blue wing
>you know it's Dash
>she starts rubbing her hooves on your lower back
"Hey Dash."
>"Don't "Hey Dash" me. I'm here to make you mine!"
"Dash..."
>"Hush. You're just my little mare, now."
>then she starts humping you
"Dash!"
>she slapped your butt after you spoke up
>"Be quiet! Let me enjoy this!"
>her hips started to slam into you faster
"Dash, you can't..."
>she kept going faster
>"Oh yeah, who's my dirty little mare..."
"You're a mare, you can't..."
>"Oh, I'm gonna make you take all of it..."
"You don't even have a dick..."
>"Don't care..."
"my pants are still on, Dash."
>"You're still mine!"
"you're making no progress..."
>you just sat there and let her do her thing for a few minutes
>eventually she grunted as she slammed into you one final time
>"Was it good for you? Cause it was for me!"
"Oh, just wonderful, Dash. You've ruined me, I can never be pleased like that by any other pony..."
>you said in the best dry, sarcastic tone you could muster up
>"Good. Cause I'll be back soon."
>then she flew off
>Why did she do this all the time?
>is she just trying to assert her dominance?

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OP(picture of Lyra): Anon
I want you to gag on my huge, meaty, throbbing, mare cock
it taste like Peppermints. Now open your mouth anon

>you is the Anon, best human in Equestria
>and only human, so best by default
>today is, well...
>it am not a bad, it mostly is am the goods.
>a nice day to be outside, sitting on a park bench
>which is where you are
>you are enjoying the fresh air and sun, as you hear a pony approaching you
>its Lyra
>she's a good little pony friend, if a bit obsessive
>she's always asking you about human stuff
>and smelling you...
>but all around a good pony.
"Hi Lyra."
>"Hey there Anon! I got ya something!"
>Ooh! presents!
>these ponies were so kind
"Ooh, ooh! Gimme gimme please!"
>"Okay!" she said excitedly
>she magically floats you a very large cup with a cool, thick, light green liquid in it
>a little bit is trailing down the side of the cup
"A milkshake?"
>"Yep!"
"Well, thanks Lyra!"
>"Go ahead and try it! I made it myself!"
"Well..."
>something in your gut is telling you no
>but her big, soft puppydog eyes means she would be heartbroken if you didn't...

>you slowly stick the straw in your mouth and try to drink it
>she giggles as you furiously suck the straw
>it's real thick
>is it stuck in there?
>eventually, you get some
>for a second, it's bitter
>then it gets very sweet.
>Vanilla, with just a hint of peppermint
>this is just like a...
"Wow, this is great, Lyra! It's like a shamrock shake!"
>"...a what now?"
"It's something from my world. A milkshake that was available only a short time a year."
>her face lights up, probably the happiest you've ever seen a pony
>"So I did good?"
"Yeah, it's good. You'll have to make me some more sometime!"
>did her smile get even bigger?
"So, uh, what's in it?"
>"Oh..."
>her face is tinted in blush
>"Special secret recipe. I made it with my own two hooves..."
"Oh, okay."
>she's shuffling her hooves in front of her legs, almost like she's trying to hide something
>"It took me a little bit to work it up, but I had enough to fill that cup."
>she winks at you
>"And I did it all for you..."
"Well, aren't you sweet."
>she stands up on her hind legs and throws her front hooves around your neck in a big hug
>you feel something hard and warm poke into your side, leaving a warm wet spot
>"So make sure drink all of it down..."
>she says in an almost seductive tone
>you just stare forward
>you don't want to finish the milkshake now