Matters Of The Heart (ch1)

A collaboration project with theneonflower (you can check their tumblr blog for awesome artwork, some of which I will be linking throughout this story at the end of each chapter).

The events of this story are set before the Years Later AU, which you can also find on Neon's blog. Akko and Diana are still students at Luna Nova, and they are romantically involved with one another.

For those of you who don't already know what precedes this, please read the comics on Neon's blog at the following links (replace commas with periods and copy/paste):

PART 1 : theneonflower,tumblr,com/post/157554943902

PART 2 : theneonflower,tumblr,com/post/157643258872

Disclaimer: I do not own Little Witch Academia.

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														Matters Of The Heart

														 Chapter 1. Denial

Akko had been so certain it would be all right.

Diana had convinced her beyond doubt that her magics were enough to subdue the dragon.

Akko had seen her do this sort of thing so many times before; no issue had arisen at Luna Nova in their years of attendance that Diana failed to handle.

This one wasn't going to be any different.

It shouldn't have been.

The dragon – the sorcerer – is the most terrifying sight she's ever beheld.

Or so she had thought.

Because, little does she know, he is about to show her a sight a million times more terrifying.

Akko's amazement at Diana's magic, her pride in Diana's bravery, her joy at Diana's victory-

Those feelings are all helpless to save her.

It happens so quickly.

One moment, Diana is smiling at her.

And the next, there is blood pouring from her lips.

The spearlike tail impales her all the way through. A strangled, gurgling sound rips from her throat as she makes an effort to draw a breath that never comes.

Akko watches it all as though she is watching a film, as though it isn't real, as though it isn't actually happening right before her eyes. It is a surreal reality her mind cannot comprehend, one her heart cannot accept.

But it is reality all the same.

"D...Diana...?"

Akko's voice is nothing more than a tremor in the eerie cavern. Rather than indifference, the sorcerer observes them with amusement in his scathing crimson eyes.

For only a split second - only for a heartbeat - Akko holds Diana's gaze.

The once-brilliant pools of blue are now drowning in incomprehensible terror.

"Ah... kko-"

With a violent yank, the sorcerer withdraws, and his tail is extracted.

It is followed by a surge of red.

Red.

Everywhere.

Dripping.

Streaming.

Gushing.

Diana is covered in her own blood in a matter of seconds. Her wand falls uselessly into the dirt, and is immediately painted red.

Diana drops to her knees, clutching at the gaping hole in her chest.

All she's worked for. All she's accomplished.

It's all over in a matter of seconds.

The last thing she sees is Akko running towards her. She never knows what happens after that.

It can't be real.

It can't.

Akko screams.

Louder than she ever has in her entire life.

It is the sound of sheer terror, the most agonizing sorrow, and the ultimate despair.

She gathers Diana into her arms, and already feels the weight of her blood soaking through her own clothes.

She doesn't know what to do.

This can't be happening. It has to be a nightmare. All of this has to be some kind of hex, a fabrication-

But there is one thing in all of this that forces her to understand it is no dream. One thing she's always known to be genuine - to be real.

Diana's heart flutters frantically against her palm. Akko can feel it. She can actually feel it. The hole in her chest is awful enough that it nearly exposes her heart.

Diana's body shudders with the shockwaves of her faltering pulse, struggling desperately to keep the blood where it is supposed to stay. But it just keeps leaking out, soaking into everything other than her veins.

And Akko knows it is real.

She can't even call it terror, can't even call it fear.

Everything just feels... black.

She's numb, horrified, helpless...

She very well might have met a similar fate if not for the sudden flash of Professor Ursula's magic, and her shriek that encourages Akko to get Diana out of here immediately.

It is then Akko realizes Diana's heart is still beating, if only faintly – barely.

She doesn't waste any more time.

She clutches Diana to her chest and scrambles to her feet, shaking so badly she collapses a few times first.

She can't afford to waste this kind of precious time. Time Diana can't spare.

She forces her legs to move.

And runs.

Just runs.

She can feel the liquid heat of Diana's lifeblood seeping more deeply into her clothes with every step. A trail splatters on the ground behind them, leading back to the red pool where she'd fallen.

The pounding of Akko's footsteps combats the slamming of her pulse against her ribcage. She can barely see past the burning in her eyes, clouding her vision.

She runs.

Runs.

Runs.

Until at last, someone sees her.

She doesn't even recognize which professors they are. Her mind is too jumbled, and yet blank at the same time. She can't remember their names.

She can only let out a broken wail as they hurry to her and take Diana from her arms.

Akko crashes to her knees. She can't move anymore.

She can only watch as the professors huddle around Diana, shouting as they draw their wands.

Akko's hands are still frozen in their prior position from where she'd been holding her.

She wants to scream.

She wants to scream again, harder and louder than she's ever screamed before.

But she can't.

She just can't.

The tears fall without stopping, but they are quiet. Her voice doesn't work.

She can't see what's happening to Diana any longer.

When she dares to glance down at herself, all she can see is red.

Blood.

Diana's blood.

The horrible scent of it is overwhelming, and the weight of it drags at her clothes.

There's just so much...

A sudden wave of nausea grips her stomach, and Akko tosses her head to the side, retching into the grass.

Coughing, choking, sobbing...

She can do all of these things.

But she realizes they are privileges Diana no longer has.

It's all too much for Akko. She sways, but before she can hit the ground, a pair of arms encircles her.

She can't make out the words Professor Ursula is saying, other than her own name. Akko can just barely manage to curl her blood-stained fingers into her professor's robes. A single string of terrified words tumbles from her lips:

"I-I couldn't... f-feel her heartbeat anymore..."

And then, nothing.

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All of that seems so long ago, when in reality, only a few days have passed since those horrible events had transpired.

Akko wakes to find herself in the infirmary.

Her nurse – a woman with short black hair and clever green eyes – introduces herself as Isabella, and welcomes her back to the world of the waking.

The first word on Akko's lips is the only one she's ever really cared about.

"D-Diana..."

And the nurse's expression instantly becomes unreadable. She looks away.

Akko forgets how to breathe.

"No..."

Rasping, she pushes herself up, despite the nurse's request for her to remain still. The woman quickly realizes the only way to keep this patient as calm as possible is to give her what she wants.

"All right," she says. "But I must warn you to brace yourself, Miss Kagari."

Akko gives her a firm nod.

She watches the woman cross the room, to where a white curtain has been drawn several feet away from Akko's bed. The nurse wears a tight expression as she pulls it back.

Akko is already crying.

Her hands fly to her mouth at the sight of her.

"D...Diana..."

Tubes and wires dangle all around her, one of which connects to a monitor that stands beside the bed. It tracks the beat of her pulse - a pulse that's so slow, so weak, it is barely anything at all.

But it is a pulse Akko had never expected to hear again.

She's alive.

But...

She's so still.

So still...

A mask has been placed over her mouth to help – no – make her breathe. She can't do it on her own.

Her skin is whiter than the streaks of her hair, so pale that Akko can hardly discern where the bedsheets end.

The intelligent, confident, powerful girl she has always known...

Now, she can't even breathe on her own.

The relief Akko briefly experiences due to the fact that Diana is still clinging to life is instantly overshadowed by another fear.

The fear that she'll never wake up.

Or that, if she does, she won't ever be the same person she'd once been.

Akko doesn't know which would be worse. If Diana is only going to live a life of pain or unconsciousness, wouldn't it have been better not to save her at all...?

/No... H-How could I...?/

Wretchedly, Akko shakes her head. She grabs a fist-full of her bedsheets and brings them to her face, biting down on them to stifle the screams that so badly want to come out.

As she cries, she listens to the nurse explain Diana's critical condition in a solemn voice.

"You deserve to know the truth, Miss Kagari. I won't embellish things, no matter how badly I might want to..." She pauses, and sighs. "Miss Cavendish... is in very bad shape. She is alive, but even a minor deterioration in her condition now could kill her. We are doing everything we can in order to prevent that from happening again."

Akko chokes as she hears that word.

"Ah... again...?"

The nurse nods glumly.

"She... her heart stopped beating for nearly a full minute before your professors managed to perform the spell on her. Clinically, she was dead for that long."

Akko feels her stomach heave, flip, and twist, like thorny vines are gnarled around it. Hunching forward, she buries her face into her lap and sobs.

The nurse goes on.

"Your professors managed to revive her through the use of... unconventional magics. Should word ever get out about what they did, it will surely cause controversy.

"But in any case, these next few days will be very critical in determining Miss Cavendish's condition. She lost more than half the blood in her body, and her wounds were more severe than anything I have ever seen in my decades of study in this field. In my professional opinion, the fact that she has managed to survive this long is nothing short of a miracle. And she has you to thank for that, Miss Kagari. We all do."

Nurse Isabella makes her way to Akko's side and rests a hand on her shoulder.

Akko cries for a long time. Even when the nurse brings her a glass of water and encourages her to drink, Akko barely manages to do so without sputtering.

She is told to rest, but she sets the condition that the curtain must remain open. She needs to see Diana.

Akko swears to call for the nurse at the slightest hint of change in her condition. The nurse agrees, and leaves the room.

Akko cries.

She doesn't even know what time it is, but she cries all day, or all evening, or all night.

She cries herself to sleep without knowing it, and cries herself awake afterward.

Nurse Isabella comes in every several hours to check the bags of whatever fluids are being pumped into Diana's veins. She writes on a clipboard and makes dozens of notes about her condition before checking on Akko.

And every time when she asks Akko if there's anything she needs, Akko only has one request of her.

"How is she...?"

And the response is always the same.

"She is still alive."

But it's an answer that brings Akko little reassurance.

She can hear the heart monitor for herself. It is all she hears in this room, and she's already memorized the pattern of Diana's pulse because of it.

She'd always known Diana's heartbeat, even long before all of this had happened.

But now, it's been altered forever.

There is an irregularity in her pulse now, a murmur of sorts. It only happens a few times a minute, but Akko hears it every time, a faint double-up in the otherwise steady rhythm.

Every time she hears it, Akko stiffens, just for a second. She's always scared it will disrupt Diana's heart enough to make it stop altogether.

She's already asked the nurse about it, and had accepted the response with a grain of salt.

Diana's irregular heartbeat shouldn't pose a threat to her life or her health in any way, but it will most likely be permanent - for the rest of her life.

However long that may be.

They are still in the early stages of determining that.

If anything goes wrong – anything – Diana could die.

The possibility is constantly tacked to the back of Akko's mind. There isn't a second that goes by when she doesn't consider it becoming reality.

Therefore, she stays true to her word and calls for the nurse anytime she senses something is amiss with Diana's condition. She calls for her every time Diana's heart beats just a second too quickly or too slowly.

In most cases, it turns out to be nothing of concern. But once, the nurse has to give Diana an injection of sorts, leading Akko to believe that particular instance had been rather serious.

Though their professors had saved her life with the use of magic, all that did was resuscitate her and keep her heart beating.

However, given the gruesome extent of her injuries, magic alone cannot heal her.

Akko knows it is going to take time, patience, medicine, and perhaps even another miracle.

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For several days, she stays in that room.

Akko forces herself to eat when the nurse tells her to, because she knows if she doesn't keep up her own strength, she might not be attentive enough to take note if something goes amiss with Diana.

Diana, on the other hand, needs to be given supplements and nutrients through tubes and in injections. Akko always makes sure to eat at different times of the day, because watching it makes her feel sick.

She hears from the nurse that, due to the events that had transpired with the sorcerer, Luna Nova has been closed for a certain period of time. The campus needed to be secured, and therefore all students had been sent home. All except the two in this infirmary room.

There are a lot of times when Akko just wishes she could see Lotte and Sucy. At nighttime particularly, she becomes terribly lonely and frightened.

She just wishes someone were here with her, to help her through it, so that she can be here for Diana.

But she's granted no such luxuries.

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For several more days and nights, Diana remains comatose.

Even when Nurse Isabella informs Akko that she is well enough to be discharged now and return home if she so desires it, Akko refuses.

"I'm not leaving her."

And the nurse doesn't bring it up again.

Hours become days, and days become nights.

Akko loses track of time as she spends all of it by Diana's side. She even begins helping the nurse with things.

The only time Akko keeps her distance is when the nurse needs to wash Diana's body with a wet cloth. But as soon as that's over, Akko is always right back at her bedside.

There's a chair that she sits on as she keeps her vigil.

It's been a week now.

Only this morning, the nurse had informed Akko that the most delicate time period of Diana's condition has passed. There is still a risk that things can go wrong, but that risk is significantly lower now than it had been during those first several days.

It's the first bit of good news Akko has heard in a while.

Today, Nurse Isabella checks and re-checks Diana several times before determining she should be able to leave for a time to make her rounds. She needs to visit the professors who had participated in all of this as well, after all.

And by now, she is more than certain that, even if something should go wrong, Akko knows how to respond.

When she presents Akko with a hypothetical situation, she answers correctly and immediately with how she would handle it. The nurse gives her a pat on the head, and takes her leave.

And Akko realizes this is the first time during the day she's been alone with Diana since all of this took place. It means she can finally do what she's been anxious to do all this time.

She moves her chair as close as possible to the bed, then slowly reaches out her hands.

Diana's arms are unmoving at her sides, and rest on top of the blankets. Akko has chosen to sit on the left side of her bed, because her right arm has wires patched into it.

Carefully, she extends her trembling fingertips and allows them to brush against the back of Diana's hand.

She's held her hand many times before during the past week. And each time, Akko had instinctively looked to the heart monitor, to see whether or not her touch had affected Diana in any way.

This time, she truly believes something has happened.

But she quickly realizes it is just the extra beat of Diana's heart caused by her arrhythmia.

Nonetheless, Akko cups both of her hands around Diana's pale one. With great care, she lifts it to her lips and places a kiss over her knuckles.

"Hi, Diana... I'm still here..."

She does this every night, holds Diana's hand and talks to her until Akko herself can't possibly avoid sleep any longer. The nurse has told her that her voice and touch could very well have an effect on Diana. So Akko never misses a chance to try it.

"I...I miss you..." she continues. "I just hope... you're getting plenty of rest now, s-so you can wake up soon..."

She turns her left palm upward to press it against Diana's, and begins to stroke her fingers along her limp ones. By now, Akko's memorized every crease in her palm, every branching line in her skin.

She rubs her opposite thumb across her knuckles, then begins to trace circles over the back of her hand. She moves her fingers inch by inch up to Diana's wrist, then rests her index and middle fingers against her pulse.

She closes her eyes and feels the connection between the beat against her fingers to the beeping of the monitor. They match perfectly, even the extra pulse.

Akko's always been afraid that the monitor could malfunction and give inaccurate readings, so she's always certain to check Diana's pulse for herself whenever she can.

She sits by her side and waits, knowing full-well she's quite possibly waiting for something that may never come. She watches the mask over Diana's mouth cloud and clear in time with her breathing.

Everything about her is so delicate. Even the tiniest thing could easily break her.

But Akko doesn't see that as a weakness.

She dips herself forward a little and kisses Diana's hand again.

"You're so strong, Diana... Please... don't give up..."

She can't even bear the thought.

Akko has yet to make it through a conscious hour this week without crying. Warm tears drip down her chin now and land on Diana's cooler skin.

Up until now, Akko has refrained from touching anything other than Diana's hand and hair. But just once, she wants to touch her cheek...

Keeping the fingers of one hand against Diana's wrist, she uses the other to comb through her hair. She's so gentle, she barely makes contact at all. She turns her hand over, palm-up, and strokes through her tresses with the tops of her nails.

Gradually, she makes her way to Diana's cheek. There is little color to her skin, but at the very least she is much less ashen than she had been five days ago.

Akko takes extreme care not to touch the breathing mask in any way. Gingerly, she brushes her fingertips along Diana's cheek.

She's so still. If not for the pulse flitting against her fingertips, Akko might've thought she was a doll.

She cries beside her until the nurse returns and urges Akko back to her own bed.

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After supper that evening, the nurse wishes Akko goodnight and returns to her personal quarters across the hall.

And as always, Akko only manages a few restless hours of something close to sleep before she gets up and returns to her chair beside Diana's bed.

Once again, she holds her hand.

Once again, she measures her pulse.

And once, again she cries.

It's been like this for so many nights. She's able to feel for herself how easily Diana's bones push against her skin, just by touching her hand alone.

She doesn't know how much longer Diana will be able to survive like this. She doesn't know how much longer she herself will be able to, either.

So she cries, whimpers, listens. She counts beat after beat of Diana's pulse, always knowing when the murmur will come, always knowing the speed it should be sounding at.

Somewhere along the lines, she realizes she must be disoriented from sleep.

Because Diana's pulse is no longer matching with the speed Akko knows it should be.

She opens her eyes and lifts her face, already feeling a tightness in her throat as she looks Diana over nervously.

Diana's heart is definitely beating more quickly now; Akko's sure of it.

She's ready to call for the nurse.

But... something makes her wait, just for a second.

The quiet rush of air attributed to Diana's breathing alters slightly.

All week, Akko has only known Diana's inhales to be half the speed of her exhales.

But now, both are the same speed.

Her pulse quickens by another beat.

Akko feels something twist in her stomach.

She doesn't know what this feeling is.

All she knows is that... it isn't fear.

For the first time since all of this has happened, she isn't afraid.

The universe gives her her miracle.

Akko squeezes Diana's hand, and holds her breath.

Diana's neutral expression flinches ever so slightly. Her eyebrows furrow, then become still.

It's the most movement Akko has seen in her facial features.

But it doesn't stop there.

Her eyelids begin to tremble. Her pulse becomes a little quicker.

Akko clutches Diana's hand to her chest and kisses it again, her tears streaming down her cheeks and continuing down Diana's forearm.

"Oh, please..." she begs. "Diana, p-please..."

Akko closes her eyes, forcing out more tears in the process. She presses her trembling lips to the inside of Diana's wrist, feeling her pulse directly.

"Please... please..."

She's afraid to open her eyes and find that nothing has changed.

She's afraid her mind is playing tricks on her.

But she... doesn't want to be afraid anymore.

She believes in Diana.

"You can do this... Diana..."

One more time, she kisses her wrist.

Slowly, Akko opens her eyes-

-and finds herself looking into blue.

Until now, it's only been white.

White sheets, white robes, white hair, white skin...

And now it is blue.

A familiar, beautiful, wonderful blue.

Diana's eyes fill with tears almost instantly at the sight of her.

At the sight of everything.

Their gazes lock for a moment that lasts for a short-lived eternity.

Akko croaks out a sob.

"D... Dia... na...?"

The sound of her name being said in Akko's voice is the final push Diana needs. The mist that's been clouding her eyes until now vanishes, and a cognitive spark of clarity lights in her gaze.

Without thinking about anything else, she tries to speak.

But the slight disruption in her breathing works against the mask, and she sputters.

Immediately, Akko stands up, releasing Diana's wrist only to hold onto her shoulder with one hand, and keep the mask in place with the other.

"C-Careful!" she gasps. "J-Just take it easy, Diana..."

Just from this minor action alone, Diana's heart rate has increased significantly. Akko smoothes out her hair and rubs her shoulder gently.

"D-Don't try to talk, Diana. Y-You've gotta... you've gotta breathe, okay? J-Just breathe..."

The tears are spilling down Akko's cheeks and onto the bedsheets. She keeps the mask over Diana's mouth firmly but gently, not enough to hurt her, but enough to prevent it from slipping off.

She can see the pain in Diana's eyes that simply trying to speak has caused her. Akko pets through her bangs and whimpers softly to her.

"Breathe..." she pleads. "Breathe..."

And gradually, Diana's heart rate begins to slow down. Her labored breaths become easier, and the tight-knit features on her expression loosen once again. Her eyelids flutter back open, and Akko is beyond grateful for that.

Part of her was expecting it to all have been a dream, and she'd find Diana unconscious once again.

But it's real.

It's real...

"It's okay..." she whispers. "Y-You're okay, Diana. You're... gonna be okay..."

She doesn't know for sure how much truth is in her own words. It's more founded on hope and wishful thinking than actual facts.

But she truly believes it. She has to.

For both of their sakes.

With a jolt of dismay, she realizes Diana has started to cry. Likely more because of relief than anything else.

But it still has the same effect on her body. Her chest begins to shudder, her breathing becomes clipped and shallow once again, and the beeping of her heart monitor increases.

But Akko helps her through it again. She wipes Diana's tears away and peppers the softest of kisses across her forehead.

"It's okay, Diana... Breathe... just breathe..."

Over and over again, she repeats such things.

Over and over again, she kisses her wherever she can.

Until everything evens out once again. Diana's heart rate drops back to a steadier pace, and her breathing becomes more controlled, albeit a little manual. Akko helps her through the second fright just as she had the first.

"See...?" She offers the best smile she can despite the tears. "You did it, Diana. You're okay. I'm... so proud of you..." Drawing in a deep breath, Akko leans over her and kisses the bridge of her nose. "Thank you... f-for waking up... T-To be honest I... wasn't sure if you would... So thank you..."

She longs to embrace her. And she knows Diana wants the same thing.

But they can't, and they might not be able to for a long time yet.

For now, just this is more than enough.

With Diana stable once again, Akko reassures her with one last kiss to her hand. Then, she wipes her eyes and calls out for their nurse.

And for the rest of that night, everything is a little hectic, but in the best of ways.

Akko doesn't let go of Diana's hand, even as the nurse checks and re-checks every little thing. At last, she deems that Diana is in as good a condition as can be expected of her. The nurse praises both girls, then encourages them to get some sleep.

"In the morning," she says to Diana. "Should you feel up for it, we will begin the first basic steps of your recuperation."

She tells Akko to call for her should anything else happen for the remainder of the night, though she does insist she try to get some rest.

Akko stays at Diana's bedside long after the nurse has left them.

Again, she cries.

But unlike all the times before this, they are tears of joy.

She apologizes to Diana for being able to do this.

"I know... it's not fair th-that I'm allowed to cry and you're not... sorry. B-But I can't help it..."

However, Diana reassures her with a tiny twitch of her fingers.

Akko is shocked she has the strength to move her hand at all. Carefully, she slips her fingers between Diana's and interlocks them.

She stays awake with her a while longer, but can recognize the signs of Diana's fatigue right away. She can barely keep her eyes open anymore. The simple act of waking up has put a great strain on her body, and she needs to recover from it now.

"Rest, Diana," Akko murmurs. "Don't worry. I'll still be here when you wake up. I'm not leaving you. I promise."

That reassurance allows Diana to close her eyes a little less fearfully.

She trusts Akko.

She knows she'll still be here the next time she wakes.

And she hopes it won't be too long of a wait.

They both do.

Akko goes through an entire box of tissues the nurse had left for her before she's finally able to settle down.

She doesn't return to her bed, but slouches forward from her chair onto Diana's mattress instead.

She rests her head against her forearm and sighs, listening to the sounds of Diana's heartbeat and breathing.

She holds her hand all through the night.

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A/N: This is the first of 5 chapters. When it's released for the public later tonight, Neon will post art for it as well!