We could
play melty blood
but you will rape me sideways
and then I will be sad
because I will suck
and you will not
:(
And then I cry
because I am retarded
and you laugh
You will laugh
with a demonic visage
and forked tongue
while fire is in your eyes
"Har har. Asami-baka-chan. You lose. You are not as good as your mouth. Ha. I am not a measly weakling. Loser. I am the top dog now. Take it up your ass, you mentally handicapped person."
and I will be like
"holy shitnuggets?"
And you will be
"Huea hua ha ha....I planned this all along. From the first time you insulted me, I swore revenge. Now, I will dominate you, and break your proud spirit. That is so erotic to me. my small asian man-tree is growing."
and I will be
"Oh god. I call Bjorn"
and then Bjorn arrives.
He's like
"Here I am, with my Sledgehammer. Jeg er her for å forsvare min jomfru. Jeg er hennes lojale ridderlige viking."
and I look at him with watery sparkling eyes, and then, my face turns into a commanding face, and I say
Korosu, berserker!
And then you jump backwards, making a backflip.
And you summon Karthusin, Caster
And you say
"The hour of betrayal is at hand, my loyal pet. It has been planned since years. Now we shall bring down this demon of mental imprisonment!"
The battle begins. The Berserker lets out a terrifying roar. Such is the terrible effect of this roar that even the master herself scrambles behind cover. His mighty warhammer swinging in a clockwise motion overhead as if it was weightless, the berserker charges forward as if he is the thunder of Thor himself. But Karthusin uses her ghastly magicks to conceal herself and her master within the very fabrics of reality. Such trickery, the berserker was not accustomated to. He smashed into a nearby building, razing it to the ground completely in maniacal frenzy.
the Caster and her Master appeared near the defenseless Asami-sama, the Master of Berserker. She looked on them in terror. "No! This cannot be! Karthusin!"
And Lucas the Merciless looked down upon her with pitying eyes. He scoffed, and flared his nostrils. "You pitiful woman. Had you accepted my love , this would not have happened. Now...you...shall....pay...." He narrows his eyes, and kicks dirt at the defenseless woman!
But Karthusin could not watch this any longer. Such cruelty was unforgivable to her eyes. For she hid a dark secret..she was....into the other master despite her being....a woman. And a master.
Неее го спре, господарю! I... I love her...I cannot continue watching this!
Lucas turned, quickly! He stared at his servant. "Y....you cannot betray me! I have command seals!"
At that moment...he felt something hard between his legs. It was not his tree, no. It was a slender and very beautiful leg. With a very beautiful shoe attached to it's end.
Moments later, he felt it.
"Hurk..............!"
The sneaky amazing master that truly did not believe in her own martial prowess had copied one of the simplest moves from the fighting game, secretly training it within her mind for the entire time of the battle!
She had saved all her strength for this one opportunity.
And this is well rewarded! Reeling over in pain, the terrible self proclaimed thai boxing master hopped away from the vile woman. Astonished, his servant watched this scene. "We must retreat, Octie!" she said, while winking and smiling at her love.
But as soon as she finished this, a deafening howl was heard.
Berserker. He was not done yet, not even close.
What will happen next? Will the two escape the thunderous wrath of Bjorn Olav Von Berserkersson?
What other amazing techniques does Asami have in store?
And just how far will Karthusin get with her love?
Tune in, next time!
Berserker charged after the two. But while his fury led him far, their magics were faster. Karthusin used a custom scroll that she had created to teleport her master and herself away to a nearby area.
The berserker was nearly there as the light enveloped them, they disappear.
His enemy gone, he roared out in fury. No enemies. No enemies. No enemies. There was no reason for fury anymore. He slowly calmed down.
The beautiful woman leaned against a pole, and smiled. "Well done, Berserker. You chased them off. But we will find them. I will avenge this insult. His crotch touched me. That is not tolerated."
The berserker knew talking back was useless. He nodded. "I guess."
But what of the two others ?
Where did they teleport?
They teleported into a nearby street. Walking through the street, they seeked for a place to get some food, for they were hungry from this epic fight.
"Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!" Suddenly, Karthusin screamed out!
Lucas, startled, readied himself, entering a foreign stance he had seen in a popular anime. "Apa?" But no enemies were nearby. Awkwardly, he stood normally again, and cleared his throat. "Well....that was awkward. What's wrong, Caster Karthusin?"
Karthusin has spotted something, and dashed towards a large glass window.
"I . want. That." she pointed at a Forgeworld Wraithlord that sat behind the window.
Lucas shrugged. "Kay. I've got money." and pulled out several 100 Euro bills from his pockets.
"I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you" Karthusin screamed, hugging him tightly. Has she forgotten her true love...?
Lucas grinned to himself. "All according to plan. Now, I do not have to use a command spell. I am a GENIUS. After all, I am Asian."
That is what he thought to himself.
At the very same hour, he bought her the wraithlord and bribed the man that sold it to them to paint it for them right there right then.


Meanwhile...the Berserker and Asami were standing around, doing nothing.
Berserker stood around. And did nothing. Asami stood around. Doing nothing. Her stare was empty and unfocused. She was merely daydreaming. She knew she and Berserker, while being undyingly loyal to eachother, really did not have much to talk about. Was it mutual understanding? Or were they both just boring together? Nobody knows. Not even I know!
Then, suddenly, an idea! Something sitrred in her mind, and with a blink of both her eyes, they regained focus, and as if unfreezing from a stasis, she had a plan.
"They ran away. Those cowards. Those fools. They think they can run away with their pride still intact. .....we should take away their pride...."
Berserker snorted, his nostrils flaring, and hot air exiting his body like steam. He agreed.
Lifting his hammer, and leaning it over his shoulder, he readied himself to march.
"Then let's go. Our quest of death has but only begun! Soon, none shall beat me at games anymore! None!"
Suddenly, a voice unfamiliar to Berserker was heard.
"You think so~ Asami-chaaaaaan?"
She froze. At this very instant, she just froze. This voice....she knew it. But it could not be true.
Berserker, feeling his master be this uneasy, removed the hammer from his shoulder, and held it with both of his hands, looking left and right. He sniffed the air...for prey.
"It...cannot...be...."
"The most arrogant person. He whose voice imprisons. He who thinks he is always right. He who knows all the anime."
"IT IS...WHO KNOWS!"
Berserker's eyes narrowed. It is the traitor. He smelled the blood already. His adrenaline began pumping. He was ready...
"Ohoo? Yare yare! You remember me too well, Asami-chan."
A figure walked out from between two buildings. A long coat, and a black suitcase in his one hand. The other hand holding a smartphone.
Brown spiky hair, a cocksure grin, he looked at the two.
Asami lifted her hand, signalizing Berserker to build up his rage, but not attack yet.
"You're prettier than I thought. Why don't you join me? You know I'm amazing."
He smiled, trying to charm the woman. But she would have none of it.
She turned her head in a quick motion, looking away, while crossing her arms, her hair swaying with the motion. "Tch. As if I would lower myself like that. I belong to the top, after all. Fool."
"Huh? Top? Already in the mood, eh~" he taunted her.
She grit her teeth. This encounter. Was not predicted.
Indeed, it was so uncalled for that she forgot about her inferiority complex from the game earlier.
"Berserker! Smash his legs!"
Berserker let out a blood curdling roar. And seemlingly began flying from the very spot he stood on. He had built up such tension in his muscles that when she uttered the command, he sprang forth like a spring.
Who Knows dodged.
Each strike that Berserker would attempt, he dodged expertly.
"Ahaha, is that all~ Kukuku."
Berserker's rage increased, his muscles bulging up with adrenaline, and his veins pulsating as if they were a seperate lifeform. His hammer swung with such speed and force that it sang through the air
But this man was not human. He could not be human. To dodge this ferocious man, infused with the power of Odin and Thor themselves. How could this man be a mere human?!
"Hahahaha! Fool! Odin, and Thor's power?! Brutes! Did you forget where I am from?! De Nederland! And because I am so smart, intelligent, cunning AND charming, I have the amazing power of Loki the Trickster and mastermind desu~!"
Saying this, he expertly dodged a upwards hammer swing, grabbing onto it, flinging himself into the air. In mid air, he turned around, opening his suitcase, pulling out a M-16 Carbine
Seeing this, the master's jaw dropped.
"I...impossible! Why am I the only weak one here?!"
Berserker stared upwards at the weapon. Was his faith in his gods strong enough? What did he think, staring at this miracle? Was he afraid? Confused? No. He was neither. He merely accepted it as a fact.
And by doing so, he had not chained himself with any unneeded thoughts. He leapt after him.
"WUUUUT" Who exclaimed.
He pulled the trigger. Rattatatatatatata! The bullets passed Berserker by an inch! Thor's magnetic lightning barrier shield.
Berserker roared, and grabbed the gun's barrel. His eyes widened almost inhumanely, bloodshot and full of terrible killing intent. He crushed the barrel without even trying, and pulled Who downwards with great force.
"Yeah! Bjorn, you're the most badass norwegian I know! You're the only Norwegian I know. Oh wait, there's Nejo..."
Asami pondered this for a split second, but dismissed it for now was not the time.
When suddenly, with a loud rumble and crack, something emerged through a line of buildings on their left.
A large robot on thin legs, made of a metal that looks more like colored bone. It has a large strange head. And on it's shoulders....
"Feel the Wrath of the Wraithlord!!!" Karthusin shouted, while making an adorable face similar to a cat face of pure joy.
"WUUUUUUT" who exclaimed as he hit the ground, rolling himself out of harm's way just in time. A loud smash, and the ground seemingly exploded around the mighty hammer.
A bright flash like a lance. Berserker had been hit. This was the first time a new sensation coursed through his brain: Pain.
"Ha ha, I am the cheapest of all. Brightlance add on! Good work, Karthusin."
Such were the words of Lucas, who was eating ramen soup at the moment.
He looked at Asami, who stood there with amazement.
"....dude. Leave the viking alone."
The beauty pointed at the fight. Entanced by this, Lucas stared at her. He looked from her face to her neck, then to her beautiful shoulders. His path led him along her slender arm to her pale and elegant hand. He realized now where she was pointing. At Who Knows.
Karthusin did the same.
"Yes....my love...."
The wraithlord stomped towards the battle, and turned on its wrist mounted FLAMETHROWERS
Berserker roared out, and , since he was not ordered to not attack this vehicle, classified it as the bigger threat.
"Berserker! No!"
But it was too late!
He was already flying. Like a human cannonball, no, like a demigod cannonball made of lightning steely flesh...
Not even this wraithlord enhanced with magics can withstand this terrible force.
Karthusin leaps off, so does Lucas. He lands on one leg, while holding the other one in a horizontal position, resting the ramen bowl on it, and eating from it.
"NOOO! FUCK YOU! ARRGHH! FUCKING CHEAP SHIT!" Karthusin yells, while tears flow down her face. She stomps the ground several times, and tears on her caster robes.
Asami laughes at this display, her laugh being akin to the sound of water flowing. Truly, her laughing form is of such stunning emotion and beauty, that it captivates Who Knows, and Lucas.
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE LAUGH AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" the Caster yells, amplifying her voice via magic.


Suddenly, a loud explosion is heard.
The group turns, only to see a large plume of smoke rise from a crater nearby.
Berserker emerges.
He stands emerged.
The dust slowly begins to settle.
Karthusin breathes heavily, almost panting. "My wraithlord. I shall...avenge you. Your death will not be in vain..." Tears flow down her cheeks, and dripple down onto the ground.
Slurp, slurp. "Ahh. That was good. Did I miss something?" Lucas asks, having ignored everything while he was busy distracting himself with food.
The beautiful woman stops laughing that very instant.
She sends a sharp look at the young asian man. "You are here again? Your filthy small asian crotch touched my beautiful legs."
He scratched his crotch on that notion. His face turns into a pleased and relaxed state, and he casually responds. "Sure, I guess."
The woman's face turns red, and her hands form fists. Then, they can hear it...a snarling noise.
A snarling noise coming not from the woman herself, but from the crater.
It is as if the Berserker truly knows her feelings so well, that he automatically responds to her!
His snarls come in waves. Snarl......snarl....snarl......snarl.....
"Wut...?" Who exclaims, hurrying to his suitcase nearby. He begins assembling a sniper rifle.
"Berserker...." she speaks through clenched teeth, foam building on her thin and gentle lips. "Kill........................."
Berserker does not respond. He snarls.
"Berserker! Do you not hear me? Kill!"
Berserker snarls on. No...that...is not quite right.
Berserker....snores on.
"Oh fuck. Not NOW of all fucking times." she kicks a rock while exclaiming this.
Lucas just clacks his tongue. "Derp."
Karthusin, meanwhile, has calmed down considerably. "Meh. I'm not angry anymore." She smiles. Then sees the sniper rifle aimed right at Asami.
Her eyes widen. Who takes aim. Her legs begin moving. Who's finger moves. Her legs move faster, and her hands begin moving. His finger presses against the trigger. Her hands begin glowing. The trigger sinks into the gun.
Boom!
A shot. The sound of flesh pierced. A gulp. Asami turns around, slowly...
A heavy weight pushes her down, her legs give in, and she falls to the ground. "W...wha...?"
Lucas eyes widen at this display. "Caster! What are you doing! She's inferior! I'm the top dog here! Damn it! You can't sacrifice yourself for someone this selfish! Damn lesbians!"
But caster does not care. She has been shot. "G..guh...haha...now I've done it. A....Apris... I mean... A...Asami. I...saved you. For...the emperor. For the...space marines. For...indrick Boreale...for...chaos. For....Lord Crull....for...Lord Bale...and Lord Fir...no...not for Lord Carron, he sucks...for Lord Eliphas...for Araghast...ugh...
"
Lucas uses his command seal. "Caster! DO NOT DIE! Imitate World of Warcraft spells like you've always dreamed of, and use Drain Life , Death Coil from Warlock, and Fear on Who! Use Fear first!"
Asami gasps. How did Lucas suddenly gain such knowledge of the Warlockery Arts? Has he hidden talent from her? Certainly, she always knew to not underestimate this man, as stupid and soft as he appeared. She knew he was no fool, and merely held himself back infront of her. This was the confirmation of that theory!
"Y....you....."
the weight of Karthusin weighted heavily on her pale and soft chest. It was not built to hold out against someone else like that. She had difficulty breathing. She moved her hands to push karthusin off. Feeling something soft, she pushed. "Oooh what's that?" She blushes. So did Karthusin. Was this her plan all along? To get on top of the amazing Asami-sama? To feel her push against her, that feeling of resistance? To be in power, above someone of such pride and stature? Truly, Karthusin enjoyed this moment like none other before. But the command seal gave a quick end to this service.
"YES, OCTIE!!!!!"
Karthusin exclaimed, imitating the Undead Female strong exclamation emote with all her soul and body.
WHo Knows was busy reloading his rifle, when suddenly dreadful fears came to his mind.
"Wut...NOOOO! CANCELLED?! ARRRGHHH! WHAT?! MY LIVESTREAM ACCOUNT BANNED?! AAAAAAARGHHHHH KUSOOOOOOOO! DESPAIR, THE BANNING AND CANCELLING OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIIIR!" he clutched his head in agony as his eyes bulged out in madness.
Karthusin then did elaborate hand motions and a green stream of pure life energy flew into her, from who knows.
"No! Loki! LOOOOKIIIIIII!!!!!! Grrryaahhhhhhhhhh!"


Suddenly, a rock flew at his forehead, knocking him over.
"Shut the fuck up." Asami exclaimed. "Rock throwing technique! I copied it from the Shiki Ryougi from Tsukihime, but instead of a dagger, it's a rock."
"And I meant to say melty blood. Not Tsukihime."
She blushes furiously.
This greatly gains the attention of Lucas.
And he walks over to her.
While Karthusin and Who are locked in place, Berserker asleep, only two masters are not occupied.
"Damn it....I'm exposed. Shit. the rock is too far away to pick up again...."
"I'm out of options unless I learn something new."
Lucas approaches with a grin from ear to ear. "Hello princess."
She raised her brows. Princess? Why would he use such a cliche?
"You heard me. Princess. I've finally realized the truth...."
She moved backwards. This face...this voice. It scared her. She moved back until she hit a wall, unable to move on.
"N..no! Go away! I don't want your tiny asian wood near me! Go away, neckbeard man! And why do you call me princess?! I'm fucking unbadass!"
He chuckled as he scratched his ass because it itched slightly.
"Well."
That is all he said. He moved on.
"Well? What? Well what?! Stop with your wells!" She shouted back, fear in her voice.
"YOU should know, princess! You, after all, are the Princess of the Well." He prepared for her reaction. Pulling out a camera, he aimed at her face.
And her face was priceless. Truly, it was the greatest face he had ever seen.
"Wat."
That is all she could say.
But she would not have to wait long for an explanation. This scared her even more. The immediate responses. They were unnatural. The scared her more than even Berserker.
"You are the Princess of the Well. The deep well...of your ass. Otherwise known, as the Holy Art of Asspulling. Yes, your skill is pulling skills out of your ass."
He tried hard to not look towards her hip, where her presumably well shaped ass would be. Truly a testament to his normally hidden strength, he manages to restrain himself and his lust.
She looked at him, and stood up. "I see...so I am royalty after all. And such a useful skill, at that! But shouldn't that be you? You're the one who asspulls the most of us! With your silly ideas."
And he just smiled serenely.
That smile told her all she needed to know.
Now she knew why he had approached her so often. It was fate. They were meant to meet.
The King of Asspulling Weird Gimmicks
and the Queen of Asspulling amazing Skills
Karthusin could not believe her ears. She had heard it all with her superb hearing.
They were like made for eachother! What cruel being would present such fate upon her? If there was a god, she now knew it used her as source of amusement, an object of a laughable caricature of that which one calls life.
She would not have it. Having gained Loki's power from Who, she let go of his now empty husk.
"You fool. You imbecile. Do you honestly think that I believe that story?! Lucas lucas lucas. You almost had me there! Truly, you ARE the king of Asspulls. But I am not the queen of asspulls. I am the QUEEN OF EVERYTHING! And I rather take Karthusin than YOU as my bride! HA!"
Asami regains composure, and strikes back with one of her greatest weapons: A BIG MOUTH
"G..gah! You dare to raise your voice at King Octavius Stradivarius von Seckendorff-sama?! You must be possessed by madness, wench!"
Lucas tries striking back with equal big words.
But this is not enough to affect Asami.
Her beautiful pale hands rest on her beautifully slim hips, as she subtle puffs her delicate chest forward in an attempt to appear more intimidating.
This has a critical effect on Karthusin and King Octavius
A small red streak flows down from the noses of both.
"Behold, my greatest weapon, the great union of my large impeccable mouth in contrast to my small regrettable chest! Such is the contrast of these two that it's very existence and idea warps mind and body, until they succumb to this reality defying sublimity! Now that you've forced me to using this weapon of mass distortion, you better take back all that you have wronged me with."
She exclaims with a booming voice, her ego rising equally.
Berserker stirs, unnoticed by all...
Karthusin cannot resist, and she kneels down.
"You are the sublime bearer of most unproportional mouth to chest ratio. I hereby pledge myself to you, me and my command seal are yours. Quickly."
Their hands reach for eachother...
When suddenly, a third hand blocks their hands paths. It is unmistakably an asian hand.
"No, Karthusin. Do not fall for this woman's lies. Do not make the same mistakes as I have done!!!" he shouts. But Karthusin ignores his plea.
Using terrible black magic, she rips the skin off his hand, transferring the command seal onto Asami's other, free hand.
Asami screams in agony and terror.
So does Lord Octavius
He staggers backwards towards the demolished Wraithlord's remains
"G,..gyahhh!!! How...can this be! Karthusin! We always played DOTA2 so nicely together! So Why! WHY! WHYYYYYY?!"
clutching his bleeding arm, he questions his servant.
"Easy! You're bad luck! Whenever we play, we lose." Karthusin exclaims.
She can barely be heard over the pained outcries from the girl.
A roar is heard. Berserker has awoken.
And he is furious. Furious at himself.
He flails his hammer around at the air, letting out his frustration. Such is the Noble Phantasm of Berserker Bjorn Olav von Berserkersson. Instead of draining magic power from his master, his berserker mode drains sleep.
Asami stares at her hand.
Clearly, there is another command seal.
Clearly...there is skin that should not be.
"G...guh....guhhhhh!"
She makes motions as if poisoned, as if the worst filth imaginable had entered her very blood.
"My skin on your skin...gahaha....yes....it was unavoidable, Asami-chan! Now you're defiled with my ugliness! Why do you still resist?! Your pride has just died, impure one! Now give yourself to me! Your flat and small little beautiful great warm cold soft firm athletic body! I want it! I WANT IT NOOOOOOOW!" he shouted, maddened by his pain.
Asami drops to the ground, shattered doll, shattered pride. In tears, and in the dirt stirred up previously from the fights.
Karthusin watches this , and her heart begins to weep. But what could she do? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Berserker saw this, and calmed down. He knew his fury is worthless at this moment, and only reason could lift that poor woman back up to shape.
His muscles and monstrous form declined until he looked like he had looked at the beginning.
A tall viking wildman.
He approaches the horrific scene.
Once there, he speaks in a calmness that cannot possible be connected in any way to the monster he is in battle.
And he whispers to her...
"Og alt du trenger å gjøre er...

Ta livet som det faller seg,
ja, ta det som det faller seg.
Gi blaffen i bekymringer og strev!
For alt du trenger finner du
i skog-naturen's pølsebu'
så ta det som det faller seg og le!"
Slowly, she stops sobbing, and starts to think. Karthusin helps her up.
Lucas frowns, he had enjoyed the beauty of the crying woman. He wanted to lap the tears off her cheeks, and do inappropriate things to her.
The mighty Berserker rose her spirits anew, and proudly, she declaired what Lucas would never have expected.
"Very well! Fate decided it. Now your flesh and mine is fused. Together, we belong. But not as lovers, but as blood siblings. Nii-san."
Karthusin cheered, and so did Berserker.
Raising his hammer high, Thor sent a mighty lightning strike to celebrate this new era!
It illuminated the area around Berserker, who welled up with pride at this gift of the gods.
Watching this, Lucas shroud of darkness faded from his heart.
"My love...my ... sister. Now I have another annoying sister. Damn it."
He walked to the group.
And they all hugged. And Lucas slipped his hand somewhere soft and flat and got away with it, oh my oh my. She had thought it was Karthusin, and paid her in kind. And then they lived happily ever after. Until whatever happens in the next season.
And Berserker got to touch nothing. But he had Odin and Thor do cool stuff for him, so that's ok.
The end...?