entry1

<div align="right"><blockquote><table width="200"><tr><td><div align="justify"><font style="font-family: georgia; font-size: 6px; line-height: 8px; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:1px;">hope is sweet. hope is illumining. hope is fulfilling. hope can be everlasting. <a href="http://paris.insanejournal.com/14990.html"><b>therefore, do not give up hope, even in the sunset of your life.</b></font></a></div></table><div style="display:none;"><a name="cutid1"></a></div> </blockquote><br /><br /><table style="color:#000; width:; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3"><tr><td width="350" style="border-top: solid 0px #E9DEB1;" valign="top"><div align="justify"><font face="times" style="font-size:14px; line-height:14px; color:#939393;"><small><font face="times new roman" style="font-size: 10px; color:#393535; line-height: 9px;text-transform:lowercase;">there i still a certain ignorance within society and around the world that view symptoms of mental health as threatening and uncomfortable, and these attitudes create a certain stigma and hatred towards people with psychological problems. when there are individuals who are brave enough to admit they have a mental health issue, we should make it a point to encourage them, and not lead them to believe their problems are their own to deal with or that they are crazy because of them. also, as a nation, we shouldn't allow those few who use mental illness as a punch line to tear someone down. that only tells me, there isn't enough being done to make this topic more serious and to expand our knowledge on how to educate those who may not understand. we all have known someone who has struggled. we all have had those breaking points within ourselves where we've felt not good enough, not strong enough, not worth life or love. someone is always fighting an inner battle that may not be visible to the naked eye and if only more people could see, our pain makes us more alike than different, then maybe it would be easier for those suffering to feel comfortable with opening up and seeking help.<br /><br />at fourteen though, i didn't want help. i wanted everything i had been dealing with to end. i wanted the constant guilt i felt to suddenly disappear. i wanted to leave a place that had treated me so badly and took away the only happiness i've ever known. i was at such a point in my life, where i didn't care what happened to me. the weight of my depression outweighed any sense of doubt or consequence i was feeling. i processed in my mind how the people around me would react, how their world would change and at that time, i didn't think it would effect anyone at all. my heart was set on no one not giving a shit about me and in return, i believed that thought to my core. i believed no one would miss me, the world would sure as hell would be better off not having to carry my burdens. but the thing i didn't know then was, the world isn't here to destroy you and i just wish we could pass that message along more. and more could understand that sometimes, all it takes is a simple thing like reaching out and having compassion, to  help someone. <br /><br />today, i am thankful for so many things and i'll never be able to repay those who have been with me through it all and still accept me. i am grateful for my life and the amazing support system i have around me, they keep me going daily. the spirit of my dad who gives me strength to speak my truth and sharing my experiences in order to help those who may have a fear of speaking up. i want to keep continuing to fight for more education, more resources, and to help stop suicide from becoming more of an epidemic than it already has. in 2018, suicide rates should be lower not sky rocketing. so please, if you notice anyone who seems like they might be down, GO TELL THEM THEY MATTER because every soul is important and never hold back telling someone you love them. <hr style="padding: 0; border: none; border-top: medium double #9da9b3; color: #9da9b3; text-align: center;"></hr><font face="arial narrow"><font style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 10px; text-transform: lowercase; letter-spacing: -1pt; text-shadow: #C0C0C0 1px 0px 2px;"><font color="#6f7b85"><b><i>helpful links:</i></b></font></font><div align="justify"><font face="times new roman" style="font-size: 8px; color:#393535; line-height: 9px;text-transform:uppercase;"><br>▹ summer is here!! which means tons of new reads by the pool or beach. these <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-23741/8-inspirational-books-to-help-you-embrace-selflove.html">8 self-love books</a> are all each amazing in their own little way. <br>▹ there are some warning signs for someone who may be thinking about suicide. <a href="https://save.org/about-suicide/warning-signs-risk-factors-protective-factors/">here</a> is a website that lists a few. <br>▹ if you or anyone you know is struggling and may not feel comfortable talking to familiar faces. the national suicide prevention life is there to <a href="https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/">help.</a><br>▹ <a href="https://afsp.org/">#asfp</a> strives in finding better ways to help reduce the stigma around mental health. their website lists all the ways one can help as well as donate.<br>▹ apple has tons of affirmation apps for those who sometimes like to start their day with little reminders about how wonderful you are! there is also an app called 'calm' which is pretty neat..you can pick which areas you want to focus on to reduce such things like stress, anxiety, or increase happiness, etc.</font><br /><hr style="padding: 0; border: none; border-top: medium double #9da9b3; color: #9da9b3; text-align: center;"></hr><br><br /><center><a href="https://i.imgur.com/j8KKV5A.jpg"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/j8KKV5A.jpg" style="display:inline; padding: 6px; box-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #e4e4e4;border-width: 0px; border-radius:5 5 5 5; border-width: 1px; border-style: solid; border-color:#F1F5F5;background-color:#fff); opacity:0.9; height:px; filter: saturate(0.9); -webkit-filter: saturate(0.9); -webkit-transition-duration: 1.5s; transition-duration: 1.5s;width:100px;height:100px;"></a><img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/y7lqoOlWLbf8Y/giphy.gif" style="display:inline; padding: 6px; box-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #e4e4e4;border-width: 0px; border-radius:5 5 5 5; border-width: 1px; border-style: solid; border-color:#F1F5F5;background-color:#fff); opacity:0.9; height:px; filter: saturate(0.9); -webkit-filter: saturate(0.9); -webkit-transition-duration: 1.5s; transition-duration: 1.5s;width:100px;height:100px;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/y3suuKC.jpg" style="display:inline; padding: 6px; box-shadow: 1px 1px 1px #e4e4e4;border-width: 0px; border-radius:5 5 5 5; border-width: 1px; border-style: solid; border-color:#F1F5F5;background-color:#fff); opacity:0.9; height:px; filter: saturate(0.9); -webkit-filter: saturate(0.9); -webkit-transition-duration: 1.5s; transition-duration: 1.5s;width:100px;height:100px;"><br /><br /></center>
</div></td><br /><br /><td width="250" valign="top" style="border-top: solid 0px #;"><font face="arial" style="font-size: 10px; color:#393535; line-height: 12px;text-transform:lowercase;"><center><p align="justify"><video width="279" controls="controls"><source src="https://vtt.tumblr.com/tumblr_pa4n5bk9Bv1x628a2_480.mp4" width="279"></video></font><hr style="padding: 0; border: none; border-top: medium double #9da9b3; color: #9da9b3; text-align: center;"><br><div align="justify"><font face="times new roman" style="font-size: 7px; color:#393535; line-height: 9px;text-transform:uppercase;">“Sometimes when you’re struggling to see kindness in the world, you need to be the creator of it to remind yourself it does exist.” <br />― Truth Devour.<br /><br /><hr style="padding: 0; border: none; border-top: medium double #9da9b3; color: #9da9b3; text-align: center;"><br /><b><font color="#383838">»</font></b>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEWb6bsd5lo" title=""><font color="#6f7b85">rescue me</font></a><br /><b><font color="#383838">»</font></b>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIQK4-9YFW0" title=""><font color="#6f7b85">gone away</font></a><br /><b><font color="#383838">»</font></b>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IEQpfA528M" title=""><font color="#6f7b85">behind blue eyes</font></a><br /><b><font color="#383838">»</font></b>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FrOQC-zEog" title=""><font color="#6f7b85">comfortably numb</font></a><br /><b><font color="#383838">»</font></b>  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fsbIbAt_mo" title=""><font color="#6f7b85">sometimes i feel like screaming</font></a><br /><br /><hr style="padding: 0; border: none; border-top: medium double #9da9b3; color: #9da9b3; text-align: center;"><br /><b><font color="#383838">»</font></b><font color="#6f7b85">what is something you struggle with daily?</font><br /><font color="#383838">»</font><font color="#6f7b85">what cause(s) do you feel strongly about?</font><br /><font color="#383838">»</font><font color="#6f7b85">what makes you happy?</font></br><font color="#383838">»</font><font color="#6f7b85">do you have anything to share to help someone struggling?</font></br><font color="#383838">»</font><font color="#6f7b85">anyone wanna have daily hug/meditation sessions?</font></small></font></font></font></font></div></div></div></center></table></div>