DiscoDude: ---BEGIN SESSION---
DiscoDude: Session logging commenced
Ryusui: EXCHANGE 5/6
DetectiveCaillou: Vera springs back into action as soon as the pork's skin is popping and crispy. She throws several ingredients in a blender. While that's running, she's doing several practice sketches for the Elder Sign in Darker-Than-Blackcurrant Sauce - BITTER:4 she's about to try and plate her pork with!
DetectiveCaillou: (Attempting to plate, here.)
DetectiveCaillou: !f 3 (BITTER)
DiscoDude: <@193827431315013632> rolled 4dF+3 for 5 [4dF = [-][+][+][+]]
Ryusui: (and that's a win~)
DetectiveCaillou: And those sketches pay off; when she puts the extradimensional pork in the center of the irregularly shaped plate, she executes a curved, but otherwise perfect pentagram around it with five flicks of the pitcher. When she uses a spoon to draw the center eye on top of the pork itself, the plate seems to hum with... a strangely stabilizing presence.
"Alright... I seem to be done early." Vera looks around. "... Now what?"
Ryusui: The Overhog's confusion does not seem to have abated, though the subtle panic in its harmonics is gone. It has no idea what it's feeling from your station but it's definitely feeling something, and that in itself has its godlike hogmind frankly baffled.
Ryusui: Dovelia, meanwhile, is far from done yet, but she does have everything she needs to execute her culinary plan. It's far from the most elaborate dish she's prepared, and there is something in her that recoils at this simple fact, but she is no longer here to show off: she is here to compete and win. The ribs go on the grill; they squirm briefly in the searing heat, but soon they cease their movement.
Ryusui: (attempting to make [Perfectly Grilled Overhog Ribs (Savory): 8])
Ryusui: !f 2 (Savory)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF+2 for 2 [4dF = [ ][-][ ][+]]
ThorN: Margen half-mumbles something about investigating if aphotic food benefits from the same differences in experience as eating in the dark
Ryusui: (phew. spending both invokes on the ribs, and a FATE Point for the win)
Ryusui: Before long, the ribs smell delicious. Divine, even. An experienced grillmaster would detect her hesitation with the meat thermometer, but she has little difficulty checking: the ribs are done to perfection.
Reality Glitch: Tako-San moves on to collecting chilies, various spices, pineapple, and achiote from the cupboards and turning them into a paste to apply to the pork-belly once it's ready for rotisserie.
((Create an Advantage to place the Spicy:8 side dish aspect Shawarma Marinade))
Reality Glitch: !f 2
DiscoDude: <@287703565831503882> rolled 4dF+2 for 3 [4dF = [+][ ][-][+]]
Reality Glitch: ((Both free invokes and a fate point on Divine Inspiration to get a Miraculous (+9) result.))
Ryusui: (dammit i forgot i had the boost on the grill, backing that up, spending that, getting my FATE Point back)
Ryusui: (sorry not running on all cylinders here XD)
DetectiveCaillou: (Done.)
Ryusui: (that's a win. RG)
Reality Glitch: ((Oh! Actually, I'll swap out the Fate point for the free invoke on the Tank Girls aspect.))
DetectiveCaillou: (Flavor how this episode's girl helps you, then.)
DetectiveCaillou: (In this case... I think it was Lue-Anne?)
Reality Glitch: "Lue-Anne; I need a more human touch to get the consistency juuuust right." Tako-San asks.
"Sure thing." Lue-Anne responds lovingly as she reaches around on either side of Tako-San, Ghost-style, to help guide the cephalopod's thin little tentacles.
DetectiveCaillou: "... I want whatever they've been smoking."
Reality Glitch: ((Says the chef using litteral elder signs in their cooking.))
DetectiveCaillou: (Hey, Vera may be the straight-girl here, but that doesn't mean she's entirely normal and well-adjusted, herself. XD)
ThorN: Margen, having rendered down all the pork he could muster and skimmed the meat out, begins work on a basic Cool (2) pasta, rinsed (into the saucepan) with cream upon completion to form a ready starchy base.
ThorN: !f 2 (cool vs 2)
DiscoDude: <@253373026073182208> rolled 4dF+2 for 1 [4dF = [ ][-][-][+]]
ThorN: urrgh
DetectiveCaillou: (Side or plating?)
ThorN: (Side, actually)
DetectiveCaillou: (Invoke? Fail?)
ThorN: (oh wait does plating have to be smaller than side?
DetectiveCaillou: (No.)
Ryusui: (they can be whatever size you want as long as they're not bigger than the main dish)
ThorN: (excellent)
(I don't think I have an ingredient for this one)
ThorN: (I might need another Fate point :})
ThorN: (yeah I only have the pork and the onions)
DetectiveCaillou: (I think saucing up some pasta with creamy goodness falls under a Sauceror's purview. :3)
ThorN: (So wait, how do I do that, is that Fate point?)
DetectiveCaillou: (It is, if you so choose.)
ThorN: (Yee!)
Ryusui: (yeah, you're down to 1, but with a +2 that's a win)
DetectiveCaillou: (Also, you need to (again) actually name the side aspect.)
Reality Glitch: ((You couldn't use the scallions?))
DetectiveCaillou: (Scallions are SPICY.)
DetectiveCaillou: (At least his are, anyway.)
ThorN: Margen scowls as the milk pours off the pasta, a fire in his eyes unrecognizable to most of the crew as he realizes the milk has burned in the split second he wasn't thinking about it. WIth expert grace, Margen catches the unacceptable cream in a measuring cup before it hits his precious sauce. This diverts it into a nearby sink.
ThorN: His sauce is safe, but his Creamy Noodle Base needs to be remade.
DetectiveCaillou: (... You are describing a successful dish creation, right?)
ThorN: (Yep)
DetectiveCaillou: (Ah, you weren't done.)
ThorN: He salvages the noodles and simmers them in cream for a short while, achieving a similar if not exactly desired result.
ThorN: This second-run cream is added to the sauce
DetectiveCaillou: (Final Exchange?)
Reality Glitch: ((<@!137462772643528704>?))
Ryusui: FINAL EXCHANGE
Ryusui: Dovelia takes the Pentahoney and a variety of spices and condiments. This sort of preparation is, again, not part of her usual repertoire, but the [Pentahoney BBQ Glaze (Sweet): 8] is a vital finishing component of her dish.
Ryusui: !f 3 (Sweet)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF+3 for 0 [4dF = [ ][-][-][-]]
Ryusui: (oh em eff gee)
Ryusui: (i'm. i'm taking the safe route)
Ryusui: (both invokes on the Pentahoney, then two FATE invokes, one on the Pentahoney, one on the High Concept)
Ryusui: (because of course improvisation is part of a master chef's skill set)
Ryusui: (i am tied with Margen for FATE Points now XD)
Ryusui: Dovelia tries very hard not to sweat as the mixing process ensues. The taste isn't right. It isn't right. What could be the matter? Too much of this ingredient? Too little of that? She's trying hard not to look frantic as she keeps adding and mixing in ingredients, trying to play like the entire near-debacle is just a genius chef at work...after far too much time, she finally adds one last drop of Pentahoney, and the flavor is absolutely perfect. Again she tries not to look too desperate as she slathers the sauce all over her ribs, completing the dish.
DetectiveCaillou: "What to do..." Vera briefly considers messing with Tako or Dovelia. However, Tako's behind as it is - it'd be like kicking a dog while it's down - and... she doesn't want to provoke Dovelia again after... last episode.
The moment she even tries to leave Station 2, however, she staggers, having to support herself on a counter.
"Urgh... MEDIC! I NEED A F*CKING MEDIC FOR MY F*CKING BACK YOU D**CHBAGS FORGOT TO FIX! I- I KNOW WHAT A LAWYER IS!"
( I'll spend this last Exchange attempting to use AGGRESSIVE to get the on-site staff to come start her on the healing process for her CHOPPED Condition. The Opposition is Good (+3), right? )
Ryusui: (yes)
DetectiveCaillou: !f 2 (AGGRESSIVE)
DiscoDude: <@193827431315013632> rolled 4dF+2 for 2 [4dF = [ ][+][ ][-]]
DetectiveCaillou: (Hmm... Ooh, her Carrot, I Need a Vacation, should help, right?)
DetectiveCaillou: "DAMMIT, I WILL NOT SPEND THIS WHOLE GDDAMN TRIP THROWING MY BACK OUT EVERY EPISODE - SOMEONE F*CKING HELP ME ALREADY OR I SWEAR SOME INTERN'S GOING THROUGH A WALL!"
Ryusui: (ha, sure~)
DetectiveCaillou: (I'll let you take it from here - your production, your on-site medics. XD)
Ryusui: Two medics in official Kitchen Arena uniforms rush out of the backstage area, stretcher in tow. They don't put you in it, though. One of them - a tall, gangly, pale blue-skinned thing with too many tentacles - pulls out a small device and scans you thoroughly with it. After a moment, he nods to his yellow, spike-faced companion, and he puts in the call.
DetectiveCaillou: "Through... a wall." Vera shakes an unsteady finger at the pair.
Ryusui: (they came out of a door)
Ryusui: A moment later, a huge figure with limbs quite possibly literally made out of granite stomps his way out of the backstage door - he looks, at first, like a bouncer, but his Kitchen Arena uniform marks him, too, as medical personnel. "Please submit to spinal correction therapy," the blue-skinned, be-tentacled one says.
DetectiveCaillou: (I know - she's reiterating a threat regarding what she'll do to them if they don't help. XD)
Ryusui: (oh, oh XD)
Ryusui: The granite-armed one cracks his knuckles, awaiting your response.
DetectiveCaillou: "Thank. You." Vera holds out her hands.
Ryusui: He spins you around, aims two perfectly targeted punches at your back, then lifts you up and cracks you over his knee. After all this, he sets you down gently. The experience is excruciating for maybe half a second, and then it's over - your back is not completely fixed, but the pain has been reduced to mere soreness, likely to go away in time. The point is, the bones are back in position, and you are on the mend.
Ryusui: "Medical attention has been provided," the blue-skinned one says. "Please note that your contract forbids any lawsuits pertaining to quality of care on the Kitchen Arena premises." All three bow stiffly, then file back into the backstage area.
DetectiveCaillou: "Ack- F*ck... Thanks!" Vera waves from under the counter.
DetectiveCaillou: (Margen and Tako still need to go.)
Ryusui: (they do)
ThorN: Margen cackles madly as he prepares his final dish (wait hold up do I have 1 scallion or 2?)
ThorN: (1)
DetectiveCaillou: (One. Don't forget to name it before* you roll this time.)
ThorN: Margen is going to go all-in and make an Aromatic Allium Reduction with Whole Scallions (Spicy 8) to toss with his creamy base and savory bacon-related foods
ThorN: !f 2 (SPICY vs 8)
DiscoDude: <@253373026073182208> rolled 4dF+2 for 4 [4dF = [+][+][-][+]]
DetectiveCaillou: (Whoa, that barely clears it if you spend everything - you really rolled the dice there!)
ThorN: (Nice! +2 from the onions themselves and +2 from Olfactory Orchestra)
Ryusui: (wait, wait, is your main dish :8?)
DetectiveCaillou: (AH.)
ThorN: (YEP :D)
DetectiveCaillou: (It is.)
Ryusui: (holy FUCK)
Ryusui: (that's a win man)
DetectiveCaillou: (Okay, so I underestimated how much you were working with there - I'm apparently pretty bad at keeping track of other people's stunts. XD)
Ryusui: (i mean there's still the judging but you probs have, what, the highest raw score of anyone here???)
Ryusui: (oh yeah wait there's still Tako's dish, we haven't gotten his plating yet)
ThorN: Margen sings loud the Anvil Chorus as he repeatedly pounds a giant potato masher into a fuming vat of oils, starches, dairy proteins, and vegetable matter as an overwhelmingly oniony smell fills the arena.
ThorN: But in a good way
Ryusui: He starts up just as Dovelia finishes the plating on her dish. She looks in his direction and raises an eyebrow. The smell isn't nearly as overpowering as the singing. Just what does he think he's doing over there? Even the Overhog's multidimensional undulations seem slightly more agitated!
DetectiveCaillou: (And for the record, my CHOPPED condition, now that it's started mending, won't go away completely* until the end of this Episode, or is it the next one?)
Ryusui: (next episode)
Reality Glitch: Tako-San, having finally calmed down from the extra-dimensional high, he ponders for a moment thinking of someth8ing to finish off the dish before shrugging and prepping the portions with some Mint Garnish
"Are you sure about that?" Lue-Anne asks.
"Mai Myuse has left mi; this will have to do."
((Create an Advantage to place a Cool:2 aspect.))
DetectiveCaillou: (Oof. Good that I got it started this episode.)
Reality Glitch: !f 3
DiscoDude: <@287703565831503882> rolled 4dF+3 for 1 [4dF = [-][-][ ][ ]]
Reality Glitch: ((Fate point on High Concept. So glad I didn't go for anything bigger.))
Ryusui: (and that's a win~)
Ryusui: (<@!287703565831503882>?)
Reality Glitch: ((Right; post-roll narration.))
Reality Glitch: With that, the plates are ready, complete with the garnish spelling out "たこのタコ". (Unfortunately, the medium couldn't support using the proper kanji.)
Ryusui: And the klaxon sounds!
Ryusui: QUICK FIRE COOK-OFF END
Ryusui: "Put them down and back away!" the Chairwoman declares. "The Quick-Fire Cook-Off for this challenge is over!"
Ryusui: "This looks like it's been one of the tightest Quick-Fires we've had yet!" Holly calls out. "Every single chef has made the most of the Overhog's gifts! And speaking of the Overhog..."
Ryusui: "Thank you for coming today, Pan-Dimensional Overhog," the Chairwoman announces. "I'm sure we'll see you again in a few seasons!" The Overhog oinks gratefully, and the towers around the edge of the arena flash brilliantly: the sphere of three-dimensional space containing the Overhog shrinks, and in seconds, it's gone entirely.
Ryusui: "Now, Chefs...it's time to face judgment!"
Ryusui: !r 1d6
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 1d6 for 3 [1d6 = 3]
Ryusui: The judging table emerges from the floor in the center of the arena. Seated at it, looking somewhat bored, is Hapax Legomenon.
Ryusui: "Hapax will be your judge today," the Chairwoman announces. "Chefs, bring your dishes forward! <@!193827431315013632>, you may start!"
DetectiveCaillou: "Urk- Okay." Vera gives her back one last pop. "Here, I've prepared an entrée that fully captures the otherworldly nature of the Overhog."
DetectiveCaillou: SINGLE COURSE: THE ELDER SWINE
> Non-Euclidean Tenderloin Steak [!] - SAVORY:8
^ Elder Sign Done In Darker-Than-Blackcurrant Sauce [!] - BITTER:4
Ryusui: !f (Judge's Impression)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF for -1 [4dF = [ ][-][ ][ ]]
DetectiveCaillou: (Hey, I wasn't done!)
DetectiveCaillou: "Here we have one of its infinite tenderloins, seared perfectly on all 19-20 sides (depending on what kinds of eyes you have). It's surrounded by a darker-than-blackcurrant sauce, arranged in a... pretty resonant pattern. Enjoy."
Ryusui: (OOP, MY BAD)
DetectiveCaillou: (To be fair, my "typing..." label here went away when I went to address your OOC-chat question. XP)
DetectiveCaillou: (Anyway, proceed.)
Ryusui: (do you want to invoke his favorite flavor?)
Ryusui: (you should still have that iirc)
DetectiveCaillou: (Nah, I'm prolly not going to win this, and 1st place is all that matters in the Quick-Fire. I'll keep the fate point.)
Ryusui: Hapax looks like he's about to simply pick it up and devour it whole, but the Chairwoman gives him an admonishing shake of her head. He sighs, and with shockingly impeccable table manners he cuts into it with a fork and knife instead. "Interesting flavors here," he says. "The meat is cooked well. Never had Overhog flesh before, so I can't compare, but it's definitely richer than most pork I've had. The sauce, on the other hand..." He stifles a cough. "A bit heavy on the black magic. Not good for the digestion. Thank you."
Ryusui: (FINAL SCORE: 11)
Ryusui: "Next, Dovelia!"
DetectiveCaillou: Back in line, Vera's muttering: "That's the part Hapax didn't like? I could've sworn..."
Ryusui: (-blinking- oop, sorry, bit of a ooc moment by accident there)
Ryusui: (it just seemed like the magic part might have been the best place to put the -1 ^_^; )
DetectiveCaillou: (Well, then it should be extra clear that something isn't on the up-and-up here. Not that Vera's going to quite put things together (yet). XD)
Ryusui: (he liked the flavor, just not the eldritch stuff XD)
Ryusui: Dovelia doesn't look at Vera as she walks past her with her own dish, presenting it to Hapax. "These are Grilled Overhog Ribs, prepared with a Pentahoney BBQ Glaze. I spent several months perfecting my grilling technique, camping out in the wilderness of Alceta-4. The sauce, likewise, is a recipe jealously guarded by the saucemasters of Arzebulon-7; I had to defeat their high priest in hand-to-hand combat to obtain it." The story is an absolute fabrication, but Hapax nods attentively.
Ryusui: `Perfectly Grilled Overhog Ribs (Savory): 8
- Coated in Pentahoney BBQ Glaze (Sweet): 8
Ryusui: !f (Judge's Impression) DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF for -1 [4dF = [ ][-][ ][ ]] DetectiveCaillou: (I'm thinking he likes the food, but calls her out on the BS. XD) Ryusui: At the Chairwoman's unspoken direction, Hapax carefully begins cutting the rack apart and eating the ribs one by one. He crunches the bone on the first rib, earning him another wordless admonition from the Chairwoman, then eats the remainder properly, leaving a neat pile of de-fleshed ribs on the plate. "Good meat," he says. "The sauce is on the sweet side for my preference, though. That said, you do spin an entertaining tale of your conquests. I shall have to invite you to a traditional tale-telling competition sometime," he chortles. It's clear he doesn't buy Dovelia's story, but he appreciated it regardless. Ryusui: (FINAL SCORE: 15) Ryusui: "<@!253373026073182208>, you're up next!" ThorN: Good space-timeframe referant, everybody. Tonight for your consumption I would like to present a **Creamy Noodle Base** with **a Whole Dang Side of Space Bacon Bits and Olio e Olio** stirred into the pasta, as well as an **Aromatic Allium Reduction with Whole Scallions** tossed throughout. ThorN:Whole Dang Side of Space Bacon Bits and Olio e Olio: Savory 8DetectiveCaillou: (It's gonna be a toss-up between Margen and Tako, I think.) ThorN:Creamy Noodles: Cool 2`
DetectiveCaillou: (Er, I dunno if you can just rearrange them like that (especially putting the Value:2 one first).)
Ryusui: (yeah, main dish first, plating aspect last)
ThorN: (ah whups)
ThorN: (had them in the wrong order)
Ryusui: (can you please post your dish aspects in the correct order)
Ryusui: (you have three of them)
Ryusui: (and preferably in the same post)
DetectiveCaillou: (I can do it if you want.)
ThorN: (yeah sorry i lost my text wiondow)
Ryusui: (sure, i just deleted the incorrectly-placed random ones)
DetectiveCaillou: (I gotchu, fam.)
DetectiveCaillou: MARGEN PHTANGG
> Oleo e Olio [!] - SAVORY:8
| Creamy Noodle Base [!] - COOL:2
^ Aromatic Allium Reduction with Whole Scallions [!] - SPICY:8
Ryusui: !f (Judge's Impression)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF for 2 [4dF = [+][-][+][+]]
Ryusui: (hot dang XD)
ThorN: (woah)
Ryusui: Hapax stares at the bowl of pasta in bafflement. He gives the Chairwoman a plaintive look: "Where's the meat?" The Chairwoman gives him a patient nod, and he sighs, knuckles down, grabs a fork, and tucks in. He's clearly not expecting what you gave him. Few things are capable of surprising this war-weary ex-warlord but his eyes go wide once he tastes your pasta. The entire bowl's contents are gone in seconds. He looks at you, Margen, an odd smile on his face: "Just what did you do with this pasta here?" His voice is full of...admiration?
Ryusui: (FINAL SCORE: 20)
ThorN: "I washed it with cream when it was done and turned the milk into a sauce base."
ThorN: "I had to simmer it for a while because it actually burned on the first run, but it worked."
DetectiveCaillou: ( "H-how do you burn milk?" )
ThorN: Margen shrugs Too much starch, too much heat.
ThorN: grimaces in bechamel bootcamp flashbacks
Ryusui: "I...see. It was good," he says, if that wasn't clear already. The Chairwoman cuts in: "Finally, Tako! Your turn!"
Ryusui: (<@!287703565831503882>)
Reality Glitch: ((I can invoke popularity aspects on the judge's roll, right?))
DetectiveCaillou: (I... don't think you can?)
DetectiveCaillou: (<@!137462772643528704>?)
Ryusui: (no)
Ryusui: (those are only for the Final Face-Off)
Reality Glitch: ((Alright.))
Reality Glitch: Lue-Anne carts Tako-San up to the Judge's table, with Tako-San gingerly placing the the sub-cut of meat before the ex-warlord.
"Ai have here Kakuni al Pastor." Tako-San manages to do a rather convincing Mexican accent for the the second half of the dish's name. "It uses porkbelly from the overhog, simmered and spiced with my signature fusion of traditions from Nihon and Mexico. Ai can assure you it is of the same quality you've tasted previously."
Reality Glitch: > Squared Simmered Pork-Belly [!] - SAVORY:8 (Main)Shawarma Marinade [!] - SPICY:8 (Side)
Mint Garnish [!] - COOL:2 (Plating)
Ryusui: !f (Judge's Impression)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF for -1 [4dF = [-][ ][+][-]]
Ryusui: (and the dice have their say)
Reality Glitch: ((Ouch!))
DetectiveCaillou: (My guess; he thinks it's tasty, but wonders where the pineapple is. XD)
Ryusui: By this point, Hapax seems less uncomfortable eating with a fork and knife, despite clearly being skilled in using both. He takes his time cutting, eating, chewing, nodding thoughtfully. Finally, he speaks: "I must confess I am unfamiliar with this knee-hoan and meh-ee-ko you speak of, but I enjoyed this meal regardless. The mint garnish is a subtle touch, but it takes some of the sharpness off the spice." The review is careful and measured. One watching his face carefully might be able to detect a trace of disappointment that there's nothing to the dish that blew him away quite like Margen's pasta did.
Ryusui: (FINAL SCORE: 17)
Ryusui: "All right, then." The Chairwoman claps. "I do believe that's all the dishes, yes? Hapax, can you tell us who is the winner of the Quick-Fire Cook-Off?"
Ryusui: "I can." Hapax sits up slightly and leans forward. "That one."
Ryusui: He points at you, <@!253373026073182208>, at the same time as a spotlight shines down on you!
Ryusui: The Chairwoman seems a little annoyed at his too-terse declaration of the winner, but nods regardless.
ThorN: Margen waves
DetectiveCaillou: (Don't forget his aspect.)
ThorN: then realizes why the light is on him
DetectiveCaillou: (And what his prize is.)
Ryusui: "As always, the winner of the Quick-Fire will gain a special bonus for today's main cook-off...which, I should remind you all, will feature one of our House Chefs!"
Ryusui: (name your Popularity Aspect, <@!253373026073182208>!)
Ryusui: (oh heck lemme name it for you - [Primo Pastamancer] XD)
DetectiveCaillou: (I believe the Quick-Fire's pop. aspect has a free invoke, right?)
ThorN: (That's perfect!)
Ryusui: (i think so yeah)
Ryusui: (-checks- yep)
Ryusui: "For now, though...it's time for you all to return backstage and prepare yourselves for the challenge to come, while we prepare the arena as well!"
Ryusui: (last lines?)
DetectiveCaillou: "If a pan-dimensional Overhog is the prelude... The hell's waiting for us?"
Ryusui: Dovelia scowls a little at Tako for failing to take the Quick-Fire...then looks over at Margen. Margen has been the surprise dark horse so far. Will anyone object if she changes her choice of accomplice?...
Ryusui: (<@!253373026073182208>, <@!287703565831503882>?)
Reality Glitch: Tako-San thinks to himself, "Ai wonder what Mel-Chan has discovered so far."
ThorN: "That was a lot of bacon! :v"
Ryusui: "Stay tuned, folks!" Holly pipes up. "There's more to come after the break!"
Ryusui: !end
