Toronto ring-throwing incident

Sources:
https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Plt342A-CL20192911-042522.mp4
https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Def839-CL20192911-042122.m4a

AH: … hours?

JD: I don’t care.

AH: Do you understand why ten minutes downstairs didn’t seem real?

JD: I don’t care. I don’t care.

AH: Did you hear what I said?

JD: I don’t care. I don’t care.

AH: You do care.

JD: There’s plenty of things you’ve done – plenty of things you’ve f**king done – that were absolute f**king lies.

AH: I didn’t ever –

JD: And I’m not gonna talk with you about it. So anyway, I’m leaving. So I’ll see you in a day, alright?

AH: Is that what matters?

JD: Your lying?

AH: Is this what matters to you, your party?

JD: Your lies matter to me.

AH: I never lie to you. And what we’re talking about tonight is what… why? Why? Why are you doing this?

JD: I’m leaving. I’ll be back.

AH: But why?

JD: 'Cause I’m leaving.

AH: What is it that is so important always to run away to? Why?

JD: To run away, yeah I run ’cause I’m a coward.

AH: Why are you, today? You asked me once not to leave, and I’m asking you. So why, every five seconds, do I get “I’m leaving” –

JD: [inaudible]

AH: – "because there’s a f**king movie party I gotta go to"? I have never prioritized you behind that! And you of all people, of all people, all this talk, about not being that guy! You have done nothing over the last two days but tell me that your movie parties are more important, including the night before last, when I said to you the same thing: “Stay!” And today you apologized, said “I love you, I’m so sorry.” And then today it takes you two seconds, it takes you twenty seconds at most, to go: “F**k that, I hate you, I don’t want to be with you, goodbye, I’m leaving, I’m running away, but I’m not running, I’m walking away.”

JD: Well, one thing is for sure: I don’t want to be with you. I don’t. I really don’t.

AH: Then, if you don’t want to be with me in life –

JD: Goodbye.

AH: Then you need to actually do it. You need to actually take off your ring, and forget that five hours ago you said the opposite. Otherwise, you can’t keep throwing that around. You can’t keep saying to me that this is something you care about.

[JD throws his ring on the ground.]

JD: There you go.

AH: Is that what it’s worth to you?

JD: Yeah. Yeah. For you. From all this b**ching, from all these rules, all this –

AH: Rules, ’cause I asked you to stay?

JD: Look, because you—

AH: 'Cause I asked you to stay?

JD: No, because you’re a f**king harpy.

AH: What was it? What was it, when you asked me to stay? What was it when you asked me to stay?

JD: ’Cause you’re a pain in the a*s, and I can’t stand it no more.

AH: What was it when you asked me to stay? In Australia, you said “you promise me not to leave”. You said, “do you promise me not to leave?” What did I do?

JD: I thought you would change.

AH: What did I do?

JD: Not change.

AH: What did I do?

JD: Not change.

AH: Did I stay or did I leave? DID I STAY OR DID I LEAVE?

JD: You stayed, and you didn’t change, and you were a f**king pain in the a*s, and you were a c**t.

AH: So I stayed, and I’ve been a c**t ever since?

JD Pretty much.

AH: Which is why you told me about every other day how you couldn’t imagine your life without me, including today. So, which one?

JD: When you’re good –

AH: Does that seem normal to you? Does that seem normal to you? You told me tonight that you couldn’t imagine your life without me, and now you’re throwing your ring on the ground. Does that seem normal?

JD: Let’s have you tell me about –

AH: Does that seem sober? Do you seem normal?

JD: ’Cause you’re the definition of normal, you.

AH: Does that seem normal?

JD: You. You.

AH: Does that seem normal to you?

JD: Borderline personality disorder.

AH: I’m borderline personality disorder now?

JD: Without question.

AH: When I’ve been consistent all night saying: “Don’t go, don’t f**k this all up.” I’m not fighting with you anymore. I’ve been saying this to you the whole night. I’m really sorry we disagree. You’re not perfect. I said this two hours ago: I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect.

JD: I love you, but me comes first.

AH: But we don’t have to do this every time we disagree.

JD: No. No we don’t, but we do. We do.

AH: Please, please, please come here.

JD: And you have every insult –

AH: Please come here. Please come here, I’m not insulting you, I have not been insulting you! I love you! Johnny, what do you mean you do? I love you! Stop!

JD: Gonna smack me round the ear again?

AH: I love you.

JD: Do you want to smack my ear again? Cause it f**king resounds in my f**king brain? Would you like that?

AH: I love you.

JD: No?

AH: I love you. I’m sorry. I love you. I love you.

JD: I love you too. No, no, but I don’t love you that much.

AH: Yes you do.

JD: No I don’t. I do not love you that much, to give up myself.

AH: You’re not giving up yourself.

JD: No, I do not. I will not give up myself. And you want me to some kind of perched godd**ned parrot, or a f**king weird frenzied dog. No, I won’t be it.

AH: I don’t want you to be a frenzied dog. I’m trying to talk to—

JD: Or your godd**n f**king lover, Tasya Fantasia.

AH: Calm down! Calm down! Calm down!

JD: I’m not gonna be that s**t, man.

AH: Baby, stop! Stop, baby. Stop.

JD: No. I don’t want to be with you. If these are the f**king rules, f**k that.

AH: No rules, you’re making this whole thing. You’re doing this whole thing to yourself.

JD: Oh, really?

AH: No one’s fighting with you.

JD: I’m making this up, really? Yeah. That, above all else, is an insult.

AH: You have a problem with goodbyes.

JD: No, no, no.

AH: Baby, you’ve got a problem.

JD: I know what goodbye is.

AH: Baby, you’ve got a problem.

JD: I know what goodbye is.

AH: We have a problem.

JD: You have a problem.

AH: Stop.

JD: You have many problems. And my goodbye is real.

AH: Stop! It doesn’t have to be like this every time. You do this every time, and every time you say: “I’m sorry, I was mad.” Stop.

JD: Every time I do this? Really?

AH: Yes.

JD: You were the one to leave in Australia.

AH: Really, every time you do this –

JD: You were the one to leave in Australia.

AH: That was months ago. That was like six months ago.

JD: Oh, really? When did I leave? When did I leave you? When?

AH: When did I leave you?

JD: When did I leave you?

AH: When did I leave you?

JD: When did I threaten to leave you?

AH: When did I leave you?

JD: Wasn’t that your case in Australia? You were leaving.

AH: You stopped me. You asked me to not go. You asked me to not go.

JD: It was just like that, wasn’t it? Quick.

AH: And I did stop. And take a f**king breath. That’s all I’m asking you. I’m not asking you to make a decision. I’m just saying can you take a breath.

JD: Sure.

[Footsteps, then the sound of a glass being put down.]

JD: What are we supposed to do? What do you want?

AH: Pardon?

JD: What are we supposed to do? What do you want?

AH: Oh, I [inaudible, probably about Xanax]. You’ve just been unable to calm down like you used to. Baby, calm down a little bit [inaudible].

JD: Oh look, you’re my nurse.

AH: Well, I don’t know, you don’t have to, right, but I thought before I might. But now, I don’t know what to do with you, right. You’re still abnormal. It doesn’t make sense.

JD: Really?

AH: Yes, because every little simple fight has caused to you to say the worst s**t you can say to another human being. You have no control over yourself.

JD: What about you?

AH: I have not said these things to you.

JD: Do you have control over yourself? All the things you’ve said to me?

AH: I have not said these things to you.

JD: You do not have control over it.

AH: And you even turned down the Xanax! It’s right here by the door, okay?

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Well, if you choose to take it. I don’t know what I’ve said to make you mad now! But since you’re clearly not responding progressively—

JD: [inaudible]

AH: [laughs] What else can I do, but try and tell you I care about you?

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Okay, but do you hear how ridiculous you are right now? Do you hear it? You’re f**king running away, again, because I told you you can’t calm down. It’s a case in point.

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Okay, well, your behaviour is making you sick.

JD: [inaudible]

AH: Oh don’t worry, you’re basically screwing up. It’s right there at the door, okay?

[inaudible]

AH: I’ve give you some wine. I mean, did you just take one? Did you just take one, and that helped?

JD: What?

AH: A Xanax.

JD: No. You got wine in here?

AH: No, I have this. I don’t know which one.

JD: That glass?

AH: Yeah, of course.

JD: Do you mind? Are you sure?

AH: I’m just gonna pour you one.

JD: An alcoholic? Are you sure?

AH: I don’t have any control over how much you drink. But you don’t have any control over whether I tell you the truth or not. Have you changed lately? Yeah, you’ve changed.

JD: Mmm well, your truth is really interesting too.

AH: Yeah? Well I’m the first person that’s noticed.

JD: Give me a glass of wine please, so I can go downstairs.

AH: Okay. Yes, your escape route, I see.

JD: I’m not escaping, I’ll be back in a few minutes.

AH: Oh of course, fifteen minutes, just like last time.

JD: Fifteen.

AH: Just like last time, when I had to pull you out of the bathroom. Well I didn’t pull you out of the bathroom, but—

JD: Bathroom? What are you talking about?

AH: When you passed out naked in the bathroom, in there.

JD: Did you pull me out?

AH: I tried to.

JD: Really?

AH: Yeah.

JD: Well, did you get inside?

AH: I didn’t get inside.

JD: Well then, how did you try to pull me out?

AH: By pounding on the door and waking you up every 15 minutes, and then falling asleep next to the door trying to hear you snore, in case that you vomited, I could call AMS if you ever stopped snoring.

JD: ’Cause you were afraid I was gonna die?

AH: I thought you’d choke on your own vomit, which is very likely with you.

JD: Really?

AH: Yes. Very likely?

JD: I vomit a lot?

AH: Yes.

JD: Do I?

AH: Yes you do vomit a lot. In your sleep, even more.

JD: Really?

AH: Oh, it’s news to you? Then this is affecting you a lot more than I thought it was.

JD: [laughs] Amber, you’re so good. I hope, I hope so.

AH: What? You don’t vomit a lot, are you gonna tell me you don’t vomit a lot? Go on, tell me. You don’t vomit a lot?

JD: Only when I’m with you.

AH: You’re always with me.

[JD makes fake gagging noises.]

AH: Have you ever been provoked, by a child? Does it really hurt? Doesn’t really provoke you, does it? It makes you feel kinda sad.

JD: I don’t know, it’s weird. I’ve had children. Have you? I mean at 30, you must have by now.

AH: Oh really? You’ve had children?

JD: Yeah. Why haven’t you?

AH: It’s a miracle.

JD: F**king eh, it’s a miracle.

AH: Your miracle.

JD: You bet. Say something bad about it.

AH: Why would I do that? Why would I ever do that?

JD: Well…

AH: Not paranoia or anything.

JD: Well, ’cause you’re so smart and have such a really great take on everything, and everybody.

[Sniffing noise.]

AH: Yeah, rely on everyone to help you out.

JD: Everybody knows how brilliant you are.

AH: Rely on everyone to help you out.

JD: Well obviously you’re brilliant, I must.

AH: [laughs] Rely on everyone to help you out.

JD: Because certainly you have no faults.

AH: Rely on everyone to help you out.

JD: I don’t. Unfortunately I rely on me.

AH: Really?

JD: Yeah. We had a good tryst there for a while, it was fun. In any case, there’s more fun to be had, isn’t there?

AH (speaking quietly close to the tape): I do love very much. I mean I love you so much.

JD (in the distance): So I’m leaving now.

AH: I love you with all that I have been able to give you.

JD: I can’t hear you.

AH: I have tried. I have tried now.

JD: If you wanna talk, I can’t hear you, I’m sorry.

AH: I have tried. I am trying. I tell you I love you. And everything that I have done, tonight –

JD: Come out of there, I can’t hear you.

AH: Other than try to tell you that.

JD: What?

AH: I asked you to stay.

JD: I cannot hear you. I’m leaving.

AH: I said will you please do what you asked me to do. I ask you to stay. You can choose to split, because your f**king stupid f**king party. And I don’t care what it’s about, it’s a party. Is it more important than me, or not? But choose that, like you have the night before.

JD: I’m leaving because I’m sick of you.

AH: You’re leaving because you got crazy last night and you haven’t been able to deal with it.

JD: ’Cause I’m done.

AH: I have told you a million times, I am sorry for criticizing you. But you’re splitting because you want to go to a party.

JD: You’re sorry for criticizing me? You said that? Check your tape.

AH: I have my f**king tape.

JD: Check it.

AH: But I asked you, I asked you to not leave, because you made a promise to me, in front of our families. And our friends heard it, my mother heard it, who by the way—

JD: Your mum understands why I walk out this door.

AH: My mother, if you want to ask her what she thinks—

JD: She understands.

AH: Clearly.

[Inaudible]

AH: I do love you too. I do. I want you to ask her, if she understands what you do. We’ll see what she says. You asked me [inaudible]. But I am asking you to—

JD: You have too much on your mind. You talk too much. There’s too much you’ve done.

AH: Every fight that we get into, every argument, every argument that we get into, cannot result in this. And you’ve created this from the time it happened until now.

JD: You invent your entire f**king life and it’s sad.

AH: I have asked – I have asked you just the same way that you asked me.

JD: It’s sad. You’re inventing your entire existence. [inaudible] It’s f**king sad, and it makes me f**king sick.

AH: You asked me, you asked me, you asked, you asked me, you asked me—

JD: Listen, don’t ask.

AH: You asked me to stay. In Australia.

JD: Well don’t.

AH: You asked me to stay.

JD: Don’t. Don’t stay now.

AH: You asked me to stay.

JD: I did. But don’t.

AH: Stop. We are the f**king perfect ship.

JD: Don’t.

AH: I love you.

JD: No you don’t.

AH: I do. Do you love me?

JD: Are you gonna show it?

AH: Do you love me?

JD: Yes I do.

AH: Are you showing it?

JD: But you don’t show it.

AH: Are you showing it?

JD: I’m trying.

AH: Are you showing it?

JD: I’m trying.

AH: Are you showing it?

JD: I have tried.

AH: Are you showing it?

JD: Right now, no, ’cause I don’t.

AH: You do love – do you not love me?

JD: I am quickly falling out of love with you.

AH: Do you not love me?

JD: I’m falling out, yeah. [inaudible] Falling.

AH: Does this matter to you? That much this matters? So earlier today you didn’t mean that, when you said that? You really wanna say you’re done, now?

JD: Yeah.

AH: Because I told you: “Hey tell me, when we have a f**king thing? I thought we were staying in?” This matters that much to you?



Full list of transcripts: https://pastebin.com/3zdSHmet