Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- >"As a princess of Equestria, I, Celestia, bestow to you, Anonymous the human, this medal for valor for your actions during this country's latest time of crisis."
- >You dip your head to allow the medal to fall onto your shoulders.
- >Once in place, you bring it up to you, tracing the intricate etchings with your fingers.
- >Celestia smiles down at you from her throne before gesturing with her wing to the side of room.
- >"And to make certain that your deeds are never forgotten, a window at the castle has been dedicated to your exploit."
- >As on cue, a guard pony releases a rope that allows a tarp to fall, revealing said window.
- >Like the others, it's stained glass but this one depicts you striking down your foe by channeling the power of the ponies who bear the Elements of Harmony.
- >Immediately, a cacophony engulfs the room with applause and cameras snapping anything and everything.
- >Despite that, you can still hear the cheering of your friends who are lined up on the side of you.
- >You bow down with immense gratitude.
- "Princess Celestia, I...don't know what to say. But, thank you!"
- >She shakes her head at your display.
- >"Stand Anonymous, we have too much to be thankful for that to be necessary."
- >Obediently, you come to your feet.
- >"Thank you once again for saving Equestria from certain doom, Anon. As a final reward, you may ask me any question which I shall answer truthfully."
- >Thumbing your chin, you consider the offer.
- >You've already received so much so it's not an unfair gift.
- >And you do have questions that only Celestia could answer.
- >Questions, if answered, that could reveal forbidden, dark secrets about the pony matriarch in front of you and even Equestria itself.
- >Most importantly, there is one question that has festered in your mind ever since you met her.
- >This might be your only chance to get an answer...
- >Your mind made up, you look back up at Celestia and with a straight face you ask:
- "Do you ever get an itchy butthole but you're too lazy to itch it so you just fart really hard to scratch the itch?"
- >The room goes dead silent as your innocent query is heard by all and every eye is upon you.
- >Celestia's face grows redder with every passing second.
- >You can practically feel the glare that Twilight is sending you right now.
- >Celestia coughs to cover her shock and looks back to you with a nervous smile.
- >"Dear...Anonymous, are you sure you wouldn't want to know something else? Maybe something about your place in this world?"
- >Despite her obvious desperation, you shake your head in refusal.
- "Nah, that's really all I want to know."
- >The room of ponies are now focused on Celestia, as if they're now just as curious as to whether or not their alabaster deity relieved her itches with air biscuits.
- >You can see by her expression that she's considering denying you the answer but you know she values her word too much to do that.
- >As if in agreement, her inner turmoil subsides and she beckons you closer with a wing.
- >You oblige her request and lean forward.
- >She clears her throat once again as she tries to regain her regal stature.
- >Finally, she leans toward you as she speaks in a hushed tone.
- >"...S-sometimes," when she sees your eyes widen in shock, she hastily adds, "but only because after a full day at court, I can hardly-!"
- >You let out a triumphant cry that sends her back flinching.
- "Ha, I knew it!"
- >You spin around to look back at Twilight, grinning like a madman.
- "Pay up Twiggles!"
- >The little horse stares back up at the throne, gaping.
- >You think you can see the exact moment her image of her infallible mentor dies.
- >The room erupts into an uproar as the ponies go into a frenzy, cameras snapping and questions about the princess' butt trumpet flying.
- >All the while, Celestia sinks into her throne in complete embarrassment.
- >But none of that matters to you.
- >Because you just won 10 bits.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement