F/GO: Ebin of Reddit

[Fate/Grand Order, part 1]

Drawbacks: Events, Continuation, Hero Hunter, Love Hunter, Attack of the Mini-Jumpers, No Matter How Much I Pay, Man Of Science, Fit For A King (2000)

Scenarios: Beastly Temper, The Battle of Screen-Time, Mount Devil, Festival of Fitness, The EMIYA Family, Joan of War, No Mountain For Old Men, Mad Emiya: Gae Road

Human, Mr. Protagonist

Pseudo-Servant* (-500 SP=>3000 CP)
Command Seals (Free)
Gatcha Bitch (Free)
Saint Gatherer (Free)
Summoning (Free)
Jumpako (Free)
Heroic Man Wanted (Free)
Naughty or Nice (2800)
Got That Fuji Fire (2500)
The Age of Jumper (1900)
Eleventh Ring (1600)
Dog Years (1000)
Ordinary Man (400)
ImportX8: Artoria, Morgan, Arcuied, Medb, Medea, Ishtar, Ereshkigal, Queen of Sheba, (TBC) (0)
-Human, Helper, Put On Some Clothes (Free), Sumanai (Free), Dog Years (300), Hero's Will (0)
Puppy! (Free)
Mashu (Free)

Drawbacks: Mana Muncher, Does Not Feel Like Using This SkillX2, No Natural Mana Replenishment, Powerless Shell E, Migraine E, What Spiritual Form? (3500-500*)

Beast 8-R: Promised Victory (2675)
Strength: E
Endurance: E
Agility: C
Mana: A
Luck: B
Authority of the Beast EX (2325)
Independent Manifestation EX (1850)
Galactic Meteor Sword C
Cosmo Reactor E (1800)

Anti-Self EX Noble Phantasm: Denial of Promised Victory (1150). An Ultimate Phantasm, seizing control over the stars' and humanity's wishes. The embodiment of world-saving hope distorted into a Beast.

This Noble Phantasm is Beast 8's power to feed off the hopes and dreams of humanity, in order to grow stronger and transform into a higher dimensional materialization of the soul. It is a similar process to All The World's Evils' incarnation in the Einzbern Grail, except with the human form as a vessel from which the higher state of being pours like a flame around a wick-and spreading ecstatic rapture instead of horror. As a passive effect, every aspect of the Beast's body, mind and soul can detect and feed upon such ideals, generating magical energy equivalent to millions of times surpassing the quality and lethal density in Avalon. When actively used, in exchange for all aspects of Beast 8’s being becoming valid targets, access to this magical energy is diminished-or outright sealed.

This transformation is greatly influenced by Beast 8's own convictions, with rapid parameter and Skill growth being the most basic example of it. At no point will he imitate the miracles already demonstrated by Heroic Spirits, because regression cannot be reconciled with eternal hope. Yet as an incarnation of the ever-distant hopes of men, the Beast commands great awe and reverence even in his weakest form similar to the sight of Excalibur-which rapidly grows to the scope of a curse and beyond as he advances in power. While his form will remain human, all aspects possesed by the Beast and by humanity will be magnified beyond imagination, leaving the impression of an incarnated fairy tale. In a pinch this form can be sacrificed for changing the Beast's form, though this will slow the rate of growth.

Because quality, rarity, desperation for and quantity of ideals contribute to this Noble Phantasm's effect, as a general rule the advance of civilization correlates with the quality of a specific manifestation. In the Age of Solomon it would likely take him weeks just to assume a form equivalent to Gugulanna; while the dreams of other sentient lifeforms can be used, dreams harvested from those with an existence that requires an external basis (like Wraiths, or certain Divine Spirits) are of inferior quality (barring rare cases, such as the Gorgon Sisters because of their origin) due to their ephemeral nature. However in the modern era, Beast 8 could attain power on par with the White Titan in that same period-barring external influence and circumstances.


Barrier EX Noble Phantasm Never Distant Utopia (550): An "absolute defense" that completely shields its user in the domain of the fairies, Avalon, the unreachable utopia that King Arthur dreamt of and was said to have gone to after her death. It is the greatest protection in the world that goes beyond defending or reflecting, completely isolating its user in a world completely separate from the regular world. The individual is shielded from all destructive interference in the physical realm, transliners from parallel worlds, and multidimensional communication as far as the sixth dimension. It is on the level of true magic, an actual true magic in itself, that transcends all magecraft, and not even the Five Magics can overcome the barrier. The holder of the scabbard is granted potent healing, allowing for critical and fatal wound to be rapidly repaired to restore the wielder's health. Minor injuries are restored easily, and even large missing portions of the body and destroyed vital organs like the heart can quickly be restored at the critical moment before death. Targeting anything other than the holder's head in order to destroy their brain is futile, requiring for a decisive strike to be landed in order to cause any true damage.

While it still must be activated by full release of it's name like it's "sibling" borne by King Arthur, it holds several advantages. Firstly, negative interferences recover so quickly and the efficiency of mana so great, that multiple attacks on the level of Ars Almadel Salmonis can be easily withstood with little more than superficial damage. Secondly, the Noble Phantasm can be used to reproduce Avalon itself around the user in pristine condition, and with a sufficient source of mana expand it limitlessly-and this is the full manifestation of the utopia, not a mere Reality Marble. Within this space, all conditions are made advantageous to the user. The projection of hundreds of castles grander than Camelot, selectively extending the absolute defense to allies, coating weapons or blows in the burning light of Excalibur and redirecting isolated damage targets of one's choice are all examples of what the user could accomplish with enough skill and energy.

Anti-Humanity A+++ Noble Phantasm Dies Irae: Judgement Day (0). The incarnate prowess of the 8th Beast that both saves and destroys the world. A celestial furance that enacts mankind's demise. Simply through physical strikes and Skills, the Beast can unleash spatial vortexes with an unreachable pale star at their apex. This is only the physical manifestation of the power and concept of returning a target to it's Origin. It can even be used passively, ruining a Skill or Noble Phantasm used against it as if it were being reverted to it's Origin or sealing them away in a crushing vortex, and the damage dealt scales with the Beast's stats. In each case, the very information and concept of the attack is reduced to a form where it can be manipulated as fuel.

Additionally, as it is the Beast's manifested fighting spirit this power may be channeled into other techniques, abilities and attacks the Beast makes. Even being capable of augmenting and reinforcing a seized Noble Phantasm, turning digital code into physical interference or rewriting a being's concept to include pleasure by reaching it's origin.



Servant: Mashu w. Nursery Rhyme
-Phantom of the Order: Divinity EX, Connection to the Root E

When I showed up at Chaldea headquarters, the summoning system went haywire. It spat out a fertility goddess. An angry, confused fertility goddess who felt woozy, and had to sit down for a while. When she got enough energy to stand, thunderstorms were reported all across Japan and the Chaldea staff did lament greatly at the terror visited upon them. The OTHER Servant that came from another world helped clean up, which was a relief.

Also a few people were arguing about where someone called Lev was.

So I ended up in a waiting room with Mash and Dr. Roman.

"So this is your...resume?" he finally asked. He tore his eyes from the same stack of papers, like a man reading bad fanfiction. "You've won two, TWO Holy Grail wars? Defeated a Dead Apostle Ancestor with, and I quote, 'a holy steamroller suplexed at terminal velocity'? Studied under the Wizard Marshall, before mentoring a 'magical girl'? Undergone the Demi-Servant process, AND the Pseudo Servant Process? Been to the moon? Wait, IN THE MOON?!"

Yep. And I brought back some moon crystals to prove it!

"R-right, right. Those shiny things Da Vinci-chan won't stop screaming at". Roman fidgeted as excited shouting came from another room, followed by complaints about insufficiently advanced earth science. "Well. If you don't mind my asking, why us? Don't misunderstand me, a man with your accomplishments is, hah, a godsend for us but it seems as though you could have chosen to do practically anything with your talents". For a moment, he frowned. "Anything you wanted, at all"

That's a fair question, doc. I suppose, with this sort of job-a lot of people disagree on how to do it, and it's more pressure than any one man can bear. I guess that's why it's my calling in life.

Mash was trying to play it cool at first, but had long since started gawking openly. "Senpai, I know your life must have been hard beyond most but. Forgive me for saying this, I-envy you. Knowing all you've achieved, I want to do my best too with what I've been given"

Lord Camelot.

"What?"
"EH?!"

The cross-shaped insignia, Mashu. The positioning of the twelve dots at an equal distance to each other. That specific brand of wood. Without a doubt, your Noble Phantasm is the pride and joy of Galahad.

Mash started to say something. Stopped. Swallowed hard. "That's...I don't know what to say to that, senpai. I can't. Oh no, how will I ever live up to his legacy, I should really just-"

You'll do it. I've studied the temperments of Heroic Spirits, and I know from, uh, an old rival's expo. That Galahad would choose death before merging with an unworthy host. I wasn't even a proper magus when I went into my first Holy Grail War, Mashu. As long as the heart is resolute, that gift's power will never fail.

"Well said!" Dr. Roman declared, beaming. "Go on, do get a drink of water. Wouldn't want you fainting before your first mission! And ah-Anon was it? Do you mind if we have a word in private?"

"No problem. I mean! I'm sure senpai will. Ahum, that is to say-"

I get it. Thanks, Mash. Listen to me: It gets easier. If it helps, I believe in you far more than I believed in myself in any of those damned grail wars. Life's worth living as long as there's something you're willing to stand up for in it, however short it may seem. And I know you can, because you aren't in the dark pit of being absolute trash I was back then.

So! Believe in you who believes in me who believes in you believing in believing belief, yeah?

Failing to keep the pink out of her cheeks, Mash went crosseyed,  mumbled and bolted for the exit.

I looked at Dr. Roman. He offered me a lozenge, smiled, and tried to pretend he wasn't tense.

"That was very kind of you to say. She's had a hard life, but not one that's prepared her for battle

She's a nice kid. I just wish there was more time to prepare her for the coming storm.

"Mmm. Yes, well". Roman drummed the table with his fingers. "There's no polite way to say this and I don't wish for us to start off on the wrong foot. But I could never forgive myself without making sure. So please excuse my next question. Who are you, really?"

(Mashu slammed the door shut a few rooms away. She took several breaths. Tried to calm her nerves. Be cool. Be cool. What the hell was senpai even saying? Something about belief? No, that's fine! He was just giving a peptalk! He couldn't possibly know about how long you had to live!

"Fou, fou". She smiled, and pet the fluffy white animal that had taken to following her around. It bit and tug at her sleeve. "Fou! Fou?"

"Oh...I didn't know you had a friend" said Mashu, staring at second white squirrel-dog thumping it's tail expectantly in front of her. How did it even get in? Staring at the pink bowtie in it's fur, Mashu hesistantly pet it on the head.

"Foufoufou" it said, regally exposing it's belly.

"Well, are you a sister? A girlfriend?" teased Mashu "I'm going to call you Fouette if you don't mind, it fits either way". For a moment, she could've sworn both animals looked like they were about to laugh, then Fou scampered up for a headpat too. This was nice. Not having to worry about the responsibility of a legendary hero's prize weapon was nice.

"Fou, fou fou"
"Fou...Foufoufoufou fou"
"Fou? Fou fou fou?!"
"Fou!"

Fou jumped in front of her, barking furiously. Frantic at Mashu's confusion, he nipped at her shield.

Seconds later, the floor caved in and a hideous one-eyed monster slammed it's fist through the ceiling)

* * *

That's a long story.

"We have time". He shivered. "Yes, even though I. Nevermind. Everything you've accomplished according to these records is, to be blunt, impossible for a human being. So I suppose what I'm really asking is: Are you human? And if not, why are you here?". Credit where it's due, he's keeping a brave face.

To be frank, no. No I do not consider myself to be human anymore. I touch humanity lightly. I wear it as a mask. I do this because there are things about humanity with incalculable value, and which must be defended at all costs. In my opinion, at least, nothing about Chaldea's mission contradicts my own.

I do this with a certain distaste. There was another like me from this world, once. She tore apart my family. One day, I'll get my hands on her and-

Pardon me. I do get carried away, dwelling on bad memories.

"Ah-huh. But if I may say so, you seem well versed in the modern world?" Roman looks more and more worried, but that's only natural when a normal speaking voice shakes the room you're sitting in.

If you're asking if I have friends in town, yes. I go way back with the Emiyas.

"I see". Roman doesn't seem totaly reassured, but nor is he bolting for help. "At Chaldea, we believe humanity's great strength is self-determination. That independence from the World is it's greatest endeavor, and that it's journey is a message of hope destined to reach the stars. Ahaha, sorry, that came out a little too flowery but it is something I believe in with all my heart"

"What do you think about that?"

You're not wrong. But-that's not the whole story. Let us use the great king of magic Solomon as an example.

"...I'm not sure I follow".

(I have to make a point here. But I feel really bad for this. Roman looks ready to shit a brick)

***

Solomon was wise and blessed beyond all measure. Giving himself over to God, he commanded legions of spirits and ruled with absolute wisdom. Above all else, he knew the potential humanity held would only be stymed if allowed to rest on his laurels. And his passing was mourned by all.

Or so the legends go.

But if I've learned anything about Heroic Spirits, it's that to a man or woman-every one of them has a flaw.

"Ah, of course, I wouldn't praise such a man so much either. I suppose the mindset of someone in his position would be...difficult to relate to?"

I don't think Solomon failed to relate to his people at all. God was guiding him, after all.

(Oh no, he looks hopeful now. This is going to hurt us both)

Let me explain what I feel he failed to do: Take responsibility.

He made the decision to end the Age of the Gods, and the manner in which it occured, without consultation from any other than God. But by definition, that would make him a tyrant who exercised his authority over all of humanity. If he asked others whether they were at peace with all the wonder and Mystery of the world decaying, and humanity's potential to produce Heroic Spirits withering into Heroes of Justice chasing doomed ideals, it is not recorded. Even if you can say he was more qualified than any other, by definition does that not make him responsible for all the woes of the modern era?

Have you seen the world lately? The Church is a gang of merciless executioners that employs sociopaths and abominations. In another world, one of their emissaries almost brought into being All The World's Evils, and the organization itself faced no meaningful repercussions.

Atlas has produced seven world-ending weapons already, because they predicted the world's end, and are failing to change it.

The Clocktower is an elitist cabal willing to sacrifice anything for a goal that has lost all meaning. Especially with regards to the damned Holy Grail wars. Solomon left a path to God for man to follow, and without access to miracles the only lesson man has ever learned from it is that it is futile. Whatever the truth of the matter, you can't deny the irreparable damage the struggle has left behind.

Don't even get me started on the Demon Hunter Organizations. The bloodline of ancient monsters runs so thin, their descendant were able to reintegrate into society AND the very families formed to oppose them. Now, the half-bloods lead aimless lives and the monster hunters degenerate into levels of cruelty far beyond mere predation. Children locked up or lobotomised for fear of their strength. Families integrating with the yakuza for survival.

And I've walked in worlds where the Human Order is weak. There are immortal horrors called Dead Apostle Ancestors in the shadows, with almost no equals upon the Earth barring monsters strong enough to force their way into their ranks. And the indifferent, blind flailing of the Counter Force.

You've read my credentials. You haven't read THESE. See this? This is what the Makiri do to little girls they take in. This is what an alchemist does to a bystander when he's clinging to life. And here is a picture of a priest being pro-life.

(Roman has gone pale and speechless as he gets a firsthand glance at humanity's failings. It's understandable, I didn't think he had any time to realise just how far the modern era had fallen. Suddenly, he brings his fists on the table)

"That's not-that isn't all there is to it! You weren't there, the Age of the Gods left man at the mercy of the gods and elementals! I mean, the elements! I wouldn't know what an elemental is but the point is even so, mankind can achieve so much more without relying on the World! I've seen-I mean, I believe it!"

That may be so. But that does not change the fact that it came at that cost of it's potential, and an onslaught of challenges mankind is ill-prepared to face. To say nothing of those that come from outside the planet.

"Outside?"

Do you know what the Velber are? This planet was visited by their emissary about 3000 years ago. Or that this planet is destined to die screaming for the Aristoteles?

"Right, the White Titan. Aristoteles, that I...do not know of. W-what of it?"

I show him the most miniscule Zero Dark sample I took from the Moon Cell. And my records from the Land of Steel.

I tell him that in one future I visited, part of the entity remained on the Moon and would potentially be able to reactivate itself. Even if the Age of the Gods were inhospitable, it was on the cusp of awakening. Roman was more baffled by the Land of Steel, but his swore when I explained their nature as cosmic terminals.

It's no exaggeration to say that the legacy Solomon left to humanity has objectively created more opportunities for it to self destruct. I tell him about Araya's attempt to reach the Root, I tell him about the alchemists who became Dead Apostle Ancestors themselves and I explain a little more about that priest's position on the right to be born. In each case, I explain just how far beyond the scope of humanity these threats all were without my intervention.

(Roman holds back a tear. He mumbles something about what he did not see)

Imagine how this all seemed from the perspective of an omniscient, but helpless observer. Perhaps Solomon had good reasons for not performing miracles, but he never explained them. He may not have had the freedom to, but that does not change the fact that all those under him would have found his motivations incomprehensable at best and unfeeling at worst. He didn't ask for council, because he had God's word. He didn't doubt himself, because God would not let him.

But though he ruled well, this does not change the fact that he trusted God's vision above all. With nobody else to gainsay him.

As we have discussed, however you look at it that system has caused irreparable suffering on an unprecedented scope to almost all who made use of it.

Doctor, would you blame Solomon or God for it's casualties?

(Solomon frowns, then swallows. And buries his face in his hands. Mumbles an apology, that he's tired. That he's always behind on his work)

(I)

(I reach out and give him a hug. He gasps, then leans into it. I sense he knows I know, by now)

I don't hate you, you know.

All I'm saying is, if I were you. I would have much to regret.

* * *

(Mashu woke up in a haze of pain. She started to get up, almost cried out from something painful shifting within herself but had no breath in her lungs. Dimly, she heard screaming and felt what seemed to be an earthquake. The jolting made a pulsing soreness in her back throb, and she prayed for it to stop.

Something scampered near her head, the soft "fous" cutting through a haze of pain. Then there was light. Then as Mashu spran to her feet, she realised she wasn't injured at all somehow.

Fou and Fouette were staring up at her expectantly.

"Should have believed in myself" she muttered, sprinting out of the rubble. The whole facility was a mess; people she'd seen coralling the other test subjects were panicking or trying to put out fires.

"-no, forget about LAPLACE! We can rebuild SHIVA too, we just need-no shut up, we've got the money! Somebody, anyone, the Rider's got into CHALDEAS! I repeat, the Rider's-"

Mash almost flew down the corridor. In a matter of seconds, her world was ending)

And that's when the alarms went off. Blaring and shining, the sounds of panicked shouts and running, the trembling of the building that announced they were a few seconds too late.

Roman was on his feet. "I-we should continue this some other time. Right now, we have to get out of here"

We have to get Mash. NOW.

"Of course, she should be nearer to the reyshifting equipment than us!" he yelled over his shoulder, scrambling out of his room. Fires are already breaking out, in the distance yells can be heard. Too slow. Swearing, I pick up Roman and duck into the space between spaces-coming out right next to Mashu while the true King of Magic vomits violently into a potted plant.

"Doctor, it's CHALDEAS! We need to-SENPAI! GET BEHIND ME!"

No human could have seen the beam coming. Or withstood it. Or stopped Mash from lunging forth to meet it.

(As Mashu lept, a sinking feeling crept through her spine: Shame. Remorse. This was the sword of the king of knights, it was not something to raise arms against. To confront it was to deny chivalry itself.

With mounting horror, Mashu realised she was haunted by doubt at that moment)

I am not human.

Mash gasped as I thrust my hot, potent mana deep into her core-and braced against Excalibur's light, which broke like a summer breeze against Camelot's white walls-even brittle, half formed-even as it shone hotter and hotter to smite an enemy of the planet. Despite that, her legs are trembling and her pupils dilated. I really need to work on that effect I have on women.

It's a delicate balance, pouring in just enough mana to sustain a regular Servant against such a force without corrupting it with my...new look's assets. I'm having to improvise, but I'm sure nothing would go wrong.

"It can't be. No. Not someone like you! Why here? Why us?!". Roman's-shit, Roman just shut his eyes in time, but still realing from the glow. He's only human. The surprised blonde man standing in the blast's wake is all that and a bag of chips.

"Galahad! Have you too been given our grand calling? No, it is some trick of artifice". His brow wrinkles with some distaste, a lot of sadness-and then alarm. "Wait! One of his already? Then forgive me, both of you. For the world has been promised our victory. Assassin, now"

"Hmmph". And then a garrote of shadow around my neck drags me into the depths of an elevator shaft. As I dissipate and reform in a bolt of sunlight, the masked man is already falling to me with sword in hand. We fall together, the Knight Liner in my hand clashing against it's deathly edge even as the walls revert to molten metal. And we struggle, the original Old Man uncaring of the burns on his body.

Deploying my Noble Phantasms prove tricky in close quarters. So instead, I bring to mind the garrottes cutting into me seconds ago.

"To think thou even hast a blade from beyond the world! A powerful agent, to the uninitiated" We're fighting even before we hit the ground-and once we do the man harries me with a storm of cuts that would put any regular Saber-and most Exalts-to shame.

"But we are initiated, aren't we Beast?" A feint followed with ashen fog, the chill of death's passing-and a solid boot to the chest knocks me into a corridor, where out of a dozen flaming arrows three still pierce me after I bent the fabric of space.

"For are we not members of the Throne of Heroes?" My blade drops as he cleaves apart the mind-hands that held it up while I flail. "And yet, you betrayed us"

Us? You were excommunicated from a gang of. Wiat,  that doesn't work. Fuck it, MY SERVANT! BY THE COMMAND SEAL I BESEACH YOU-

The blade thrusts through my heart. I taste death. This has-will have-terrible consequences for me elsewhere and elsewhen, but right now it's already quite the fatal blow.

Hassan, THE Hassan, walks away silently. Ten paces away, he says "Young man, deliver moksha unto the remains lest they stain this world evermore"

"Don't presume to command me, Old Man. But there is wisdom in what you say. Holy Ground Fixation, Space Fixation, Divine Punishment-"

(Choking on what she told herself was smoke inhalation, Mashu rubbed the tears out of her face. Don't think about it. Senpai's such a great mage, Dr. Roman said it's physically impossible for him to have done all he did. One Servant can't kill him, right? You can't die of shame every time you're intimidated by an enemy, or you'll be no good to anyone.

The shame hit her again. She shuddered, it was like seeing the faces of the doctors as they discussed her shortcomings as a Demi-Servant. The certain knowledge that her life was a frail shell sustained by a legendary hero's capture. This time, she could almost feel an additional hit of remorse-as if someone beside her was regretting the act of hesitation itself.

When she bounced off the red-gold armor of the white haired Servant, she froze and waited for the end.

"Excuse me. Have you seen my Master?" asked the white haired man, his piercing gaze raising and eyebrow. "It seems we are under attack by Grand Servants. Therefore, we are almost certainly doomed to fall against such legendary warrirors without even raising a blow, but I wish for even one chance to prove my mettle"

"No. That's impossible! Why would Grand Servants be attacking Chaldea?" cried Mashu. But remembering that swordsman's blade. It was unmistakably Excalibur, which meant-she swallowed-there was no reason she should have survived his blow. And which also meant he was someone undeniably qualified for such a rank. She couldn't quite accept it, but it seemed the greatest champions of all humanity were destroying Chaldea.

And, she realised, that meant whoever Senpai was. He was someone who trusted in her to stand up against the Grand Saber. Powerful enough to back up that faith. And therefore-

-he was definitely still alive.

He had to be.

"Anon, he, the Grand Assassin seized him in the corridor outside the Medbay. But he's still alive! I'm sure of it!"

"Anon? Here?" The man's eyes darted, as if looking for nearby tentacles. His fumbled his spear. His calm quickly returned, but Mashu noticed he stood ready for fight at any minute-or possibly flight. "That explains a lot. This is exactly his kind of crisis"

"But I have to get inside that room, everything depends on it!"

"As you will. My thanks. By the name of Karna, I swear my fellow Servant should be here soon!" he shouted, racing away so quickly Mashu stumbled in in his wake. "Actually, please go inside first! Her trajectory is...unfortunate"

Some instinct told Mashu told Mashu to obey, as a screaming twintailed woman slammed into the wall behind her. Mashu looked at the sky through the person-shaped hole that lay behind her.

"Ouch!" complained the scantily clad vision of beauty, wobbling to her feet. "Ow, ow ow. It's not fair, I didn't even get to take out my Noble Phantasm! How can that stupid prophet EVEN COMPETE against a goddess?!"

"Um...I ask of you, are you a Servant?" said Mashu.

"Ima Ishtar goddess of war 'n fertility. " groaned the woman, so beautiful in shape and form she made Mashu feel uncomfortably self conscious even as she tripped against a wall with smoke coming off her. "And I am NOT a burnt offering for any King of Magic's stupid religion of peace!"

"I could really use your help. There's more enemy Servants inside that room"

"Very well. I do not fear that man! BUT! I believe confronting him directly would be as ill-advised as wandering through Irkalla naked! Because I am a WISE goddess!" declared the goddess (Mashu told herself to stop basking in awe at her radiant presence, especially when Ishtar kept having to get her hair out of her own face). "Come! Let us visit divine wrath on his allies!"

Kicking down the door, she came upon a man in a chariot and-Mashu cringed behind her shield. She now saw it had two eyes, but one sunk into a gouge in it's skull while the other dangled outside it. Jaws gaping far enough to break their tendons, raw and exposed as the intestines dangling outside them. Hair like bloody iron spikes, lower legs twisted around and enough bristling muscle that it was more living nightmare than tragedy.

Every inch of the crumpled horror bristled with potential violence. Despite it's agony, Mashu could tell it was staring at her. Yearning to finish the one that got away.

"The reckoning has come, mortals! And uh, demon?"

"Ah, you must be Chaldea's Servants! Welcome then, to my greatest conquest!" boomed tha barrel-chested redhead. Mashu paled; behind him, the world was an open desert and a group of men (Heroic Spirits!) were carrying away CHALDEAS.

"I must say, I'm very impressed you people managed to recreate the sun in miniature. Even in my time, such a thing was folly to all but the gods! Truly, I would have been at a loss to commandeer it without my finest soldiers' gifts!" he declared, throwing his arms wide. "Is it not so, Hound of Culain?"

In response, the creature throwing itself at the two of them. Mashu prepared to raise her shield-but startled as a blaze of purple starlight washed through it, cracking the floor between them. Though the Grand Berserker stood firm, it raised an arm as it's organs flailed in the breeze-throughout which it remained eerily focused, only stopping to breathe. Ishtar's Noble Phantasm loomed beside her, pulled taught like a bow, while a dozen yellow orbs floated behind her.

"You know, I was impressed some mortal mage summoned me in my full glory" said Ishtar casually, as the creature held back the beam with one hand and flailed at the orbs slung at it with another. "Almost enough to spare him my curse for using such a frail vessel. But! I must say, in all my years of flying the heavens I've never felt power like this before! I don't know what he did to my boat of heaven-"

Mashu had instinctively raised her shield against the onslaught, and looking closely at the orbs she felt she had good reason to. The sense of magical energy, the tangible inertia-if she didn't know better, she'd have thought they were forming some kind of Reality Marble. No wonder the creature was already bleading and broken-and yet, it kept growing larger. Stronger, if more twisted somehow.

And then there was that...bow? She tottered, waves of gravity surging as it activated.

"-but this battle was over before it started!"

In a blink, the Grand Berserker disappeared in a column of light.

"Hmm. Most impressive! Spatial transportation, yes? Very well, if this object's so precious to you, I grant you the right of facing my peerless army!" declared the Grand Rider. "Be warned! With this power I've been gifted, neither they nor my Ionioi Hetairoi will ever know exhaustion-and they come bearing their own proofs as heroes!"

"Wait!" cried Mashu. "Why must we fight? You're heroes, we should be working together! Please tell us what's going on!"

"Hmm". The man frowned. "...I can't deny that mowing down a young girl weighs more on me than a bunch of gutless magi. Would that I could believe you. But the being we are summoned to confront is insidious. It turns foes to friends, and allies into weapons of war. That is all I can share freely, for fear of invoking it's attention. This much I know from my own summoning"

"But we could never be your enemies! Chaldea was founded to save the world, everything I've sacrificed, everything I've endured, it's for a good cause! There must be some way to prove our innocence!"

"Besides" he interrupted. "This is a conquest, not some petty battle! I can see from your bearing that you have not the resolve of a true warrior. Therefore, with all due respect the opinions of an ill maiden cannot be considered above those of a goddess! I, Iskander son of Zeus, will acknowledge only the strong!"

"Then acknowledge THIS, you insubordinate mongrel!" shrieked Ishtar, raining planets as the army charged.

Mashu's blood ran cold as ice. But for the first time in this nightmare, outrage drowned it out. Defiantly leaping in front of Ishtar, she called out Lord Camelot's name-and a hundred Noble Phantasms were denied purchase by the unrivaled castle walls.

She wondered if Senpai would have been proud of her. By all accounts, the odds he'd beaten were just as bad)

And that's my cue. A faint pulse from my second Noble Phantasm to reinforce the projection, and razor wire snaps around Hassan's neck, his wrists, his legs-not his right arm, for his sword is out. Still too late. The wires pull caught around my hands as like the phoenix, I burn and rise from my own ashes. And with my natural Authority behind them, that's all it takes to break bones.

But broken limbs don't stop him from taking another step. I get up and shout TO COME FORTH AND AVENGE ME!

And as he turns in shock, the blade of Vasavi Shakti cleaves through his own heart from behind. He staggers, but endures; within seconds we're struggling for the sword's hilt. But it is in the hands of one who wielded it better than it's god, and in the time it takes to say "O Agni" the Grand Assassin is ash.

Conveniently, the blast also knocks my would-be liberation from samsara off-target, careening into what I assume is Grand Saber given the flash of light. Right in the kneecaps, if those synchronicity waves were on target. Behind me, Karna raises his spear at the Grand Archer-who lets out an inelegant choke of rage.

"You!"

"Me. It would seem we are once again destined to do battle, brother"

"Destined?! Do you know not who-no, WHAT you side with? That is a Beast! An Evil of Man, and one unaccounted for! His very existence will tip the world towards calamity! But of course, OF COURSE you fight on his side because I am chosen for this one!"

"Indeed. And yet, he is also my summoner". He's taking this pretty well all things considered, even if he's frowning a tad more than usual.

"None of that! Can you not see sense? End him where he stands and be done with it, then grant yourself an honorable death by my bow if you can. With this power I am blessed with, there can be no better outcome!"

"Which I would gladly do" his eyes narrow "yet, circumstance does not change the fact I owe him for my life and my old summoner's. And since he did so without gain, it would be beneath my honor to deny him an explaination"

"This is just like you!" shouted the bowman, resuming his shots. "I would ask if it Karna would die to stop being so insufferably HONORABLE for once, but then we both know you practically personify the concept! Fine! Go ahead and DIE on behalf of a Beast! I'm sure Surya's absolutely PROUD of you right now! It must feel GREAT to live up to his expectations!" he shrieks, in the tone of someone constantly afraid of living up to expectations.

Eyes sidelong as I get up, he barely turns from whirling his spear to deflect arrows. "Orders, master? I advise evasive maneuvers. The integrity of this building-no, the planet-is preserved only by Arjuna's unwillingness to risk more casualties. And the pride he holds for his second rate bowmanship" he adds, cocking an eyebrow at the enraged Pandava.

Denied. Hang on, it's high time I did a thing.

"Do a thing?"

Yep, a thing.

(Everything had gone so wrong.

It was foolish to think they could have stood against a Grand. The Grand Berserker had some skill that weaponised his abyssal fate, a geas of death in battle returning across space-time in minutes. The Grand Lancer-a cold woman with a heart-shaped lance-quickly showed herself more than able to repel Ishtar's missiles, and berating the Grand Rider for playing around during their mission. At first Ishtar had harried both by summoning some kind of giant bejeweled bull skeleton to the battlefield, but on seeing Rider's own bulls beginning to charge she quickly dismissed it and decided they needed to leave.

"That was a great show of courage! Truly a feat worthy of Uruk's legends! Without your valor, those nasty men with the anti-divinity weapons would have surely killed us!" trilled Ishtar, who had started carrying her around the same time she decided flying was faster. "When all this is over, you have more than earned the right to serve as my priestess! But for now, I command you to steel yourself. Not least because those two Breeds of Calamity insisted on nesting in your lap"

Dimly, Mashu also noticed the Fous were sitting on her. They "fou'd" sadly.

What hurt most of all was the mere sight of the Grand Saber, even when the man had been simply bowled over into the room by a ball of imploding light. A moment of doubt was all it took to bring down the castle walls, and without Ishtar's warp gate Mashu knew her life was forfeit.

No. It had always been forfeit from the start, hadn't it? The confidence of these incarnate legends only affirmed that. She was an accident at best, and a speedbump at worst. Even that Berserker seemed more annoyed than truly enraged by the defence she mounted.

"Dr. Roman" said Mashu.

"Eh?"

"...sorry. I've been sititng here feeling sorry for us, when there's people who don't even have a Servant to save them. The others-they were headed for the exits, but he was far further back. We need to get Dr. Roman out of here, he can't make it on his own!"

"Tall man, pink hair?"

"Yes"

Ishtar winced. "That awful prophet had him in his clutches. Not to say I'm afraid of him! In fact, let's go right now! But quietly!"

Mashu choked even harder than Ishtar on arrival. That man-he could only be the Grand Caster, his presence was overwhelming-hovered above Roman with a raised hand. Who was crumpled against a wall.

"You have to tell me!" Roman cried. "You have to ask Him why we did all of this! All of this! Look at what we've unleashed!"

"Irrelevant". The man's voice was measured and assured, like a schoolteacher gently chiding an errant pupil. Mashu wondered if actual malice would have truly been better than the quiet confidence of a true hero. "I am tasked with destroying Beast 8. Your presence is a curiosity, but the heavens have turned their gaze from you. Your life no longer has a purpose. Were I still able to feel...I might say that I envy you"

"Don't give me that, you of all people should be asking the same questions! You can't just punish people without explaining why!"

"It is not punishment, Solomon" he said firmly. "You have not fallen from God's grace. It is simply that once you were destined to be His linchpin against the Ancient I. But that Beast will no longer emerge. So I have a duty, and you have none. Don't interfere, and I'll not raise my hand against you again"

"...I see. So that's what it feels like, huh..."

"And that means we don't matter? That we don't get a say in what we've lost?" whispered Mashu.

"Not at all. I see you, Servant of the Shield, as I see all things. The contaminant is upon you. Step forth. The Grand Archer will fail, so this too is necessary. Yes, the Beast will manifest himself to save you"

He gestured at the prone Roman, and to Ishtar's disbelief Mashu rose to deflect the shot. The blast knelt her. The heat made her cry out in shock, behind the walls. But this time, she felt a powerful urge to fight on from within. As if mortified by her earlier hesitation.

"Mashu! Mashu, run!" cried Roman. "You can't fight him! None of us can!"

"Actually I-"

Ishtar squaked as a hundred bolts of light honed in on her. Sliding under a desk and curling up in a ball, she tried to think happy thoughts even as her divine might barely held against the elements hammering her.

"How bothersome" mused the Grand Caster. "In such a confined space, even with all my Noble Phantasms and God's blessings it takes great care to minimalise casualties. Foreign goddess, know your place. Your kind ceded the Earth to man, and you should never have answered this summons"

"I don't understand!" wailed a voice from a hole, Ishtar struggling out. "He's a magus! They're nothing without our gifts! HOW CAN HE BE THIS POWERFUL!? Also um, um, by the grace of Anu! Look at the fascinating underside of this desk, what were you saying again?!"

"That's not fair! Just because we aren't true heroes, doesn't mean we shouldn't question you at all!" shouted Mashu, struggling to lift her Noble Phantasm again. She saw the Fous join Ishtar under the table, their tails fluttering-and felt unnatural strength filling herself.

"I only ever wanted to help! I was born to fight for humanity, I never earned any fame or glory! But I never even got a chance! Don't you dare look down on us because we have no legends of our own!"

"I do not" said Solomon quietly. "Know this: I can only ever act in line with Heaven's will. My whole existence is praise for God, it should be no surprise His works are dipped in blood. You are not judged as my opponent. You were put on this Earth only as bait for a Beast"

"Then I reject your judgement-"

The walls rose up around her, once more. Through angry tears, Mashu noticed streaks of gold in them.

Yes.

This would be her feat. Her ideal.

At least at the end, she would learn from Senpai's unwavering spirit. Her only regret, was that she'd never see him again.

"-and substitute my own! LORD. FUCKING. CAMELOT!"

Something bid her farewell as the heat and force assaulted her very soul again. She felt something sacrifice itself trying to help her hold on, apologise for letting her down and tell her it was p-)

"Oh THANK YOU" gasped Arjuna in genuine relief, yanking so hard on his bowstring it creaks audibly "I was scared for a moment that I'd be reduced to bullying this insufferable MERCHANT CASTE without an actual fair fight! Yes, PLEASE stand and face my full power together! By Shiva's wrath, your lives end here! PASHUPATA!"

And as a second orb of implosive light appears, I open four portals. One a rend in space through which Karna and I leap through, one enveloping the shot-

-and one behind the Grand Archer's own head, ringed with incantations defining the attack's exact redirection. Unsurprisingly, his skill lets him dodge the shot; a fourth portal engulfs it. But the shock on his face lasts just long enough for my second Noble Phantasm to deploy: The world around him erupts into a verdant paradise. I don't pause to see if that kills him, because he was treading in thorns and my Authority is strong.

Roman's down, but conscious.  In front of him, Mashu's tearstained face is red and loud-but Lord Camelot is raised and her arms are steady. Solomon-the Servant-has just enough time to turn before the much greater orb collides with him.

It's at that moment I locate my other Servant, cowering under a desk. Once again, I redirect the flow of mana to her (she squeaks; they really have to learn not to clench up after the first time), sparing just enough to shield Roman with more tendrils. Too late, I am blown away by a single pulse of Ars Almadel Salmonis-

-and so I remanifest right behind him, reopening a portal that displaces Pashupata. To the man's credit, he wastes no movement struggling to deny moksha.

Somehow, halfway through transmigration he starts restoring himself faster than he implodes. Eyes shut in focus, his brow wet with sweat-yet in seconds the compression that threatened the entire building is no more than a basketball. I am pushed to using my third Noble Phantasm: Focusing it, I release a bolt of pure Mystery to strengthen the attack. My right arm disintegrates, and reborn as a hammer of frozen thunder batters the magician's chest. I call down a pillar of light to wash away his magecraft. His eyes start to melt, as I invade his very gaze. And yet all I do is lock Solomon into precarious stalemate, all the spirits and elements he commands holding him from the brink of defeat. Far above, I hear Ars Almadel Salmonis primed with just as many spells, and powering to it's maximum capacity-into a force that could discorporate me permanently.

Behind me, Karna's eyes widen and he prepares to launch his spear. But then pillars decorated with rich frescoes of sapphire and emerald dragons soared up around us. Frankencense, myyrh and rarer incenses filled the air, the lightning dims and the temperature rose. A ceiling decorated with lascivous images of men, animals and furniture engaged in various activities replaced the old one. Throughout the room, priceless treasures spilled from every crevice, along with occult manuscripts and spiritual artifacts and nubile slaves of such rarity, that even the King of Magic was given pause-

Until a massive golden orb slammed into him, and shrank to a vortex of caustic yellow acid disintegrating his heart. No mere projection, a true microcosm of Venus' strength.

"How cruel, for that woman to insist on being a riddle even in death. Would that you drank more than water with me..." he gasped, even as he faded away.

Around us, the entire building begins to crumble. Far above, the last traces of Ars Almadel Salmananis finished dissipating.

"Wow, I didn't expect that half-remembered spell to have such a kick to it. I'm keeping it close to hand just in case, even though erm. Nevermind. And THAT is what you get for waving your w-wretched m-m-monotheism around!" shrieks a panicked, barely dressed blonde triumphantly bursting through the desk. This must be Ishtar. Despite the fingernails and the red eyes, I'm already seeing why Rin suited her. "You! Master? This! Explain!"

Grand Servants are coming to kill us all. The good news is, we've just dealt with all the relevant ones!

"Oh. Oh noooo, not the greatest Heroic Spirits empowered by all humanity" moaned Ishtar, swooning dramatically. "Of course there was a catch, other than this unseemly lack of dignity I seem to be suffering!"

As she rants, and rants, I teleport us all outside the building. Right as it collapses, hopefully on top of the remaining Grands. Unhopefully, energy blasts start clearing the rubble immediately.

"DID YOU JUST DO A MIRACLE?! I didn't authorise it yet! Which means...you must be incredibly pious to receive my blessings from outside the time-space axis! Good job, Master!"

Thanks! But we're running out of time. Servants. Mash. I signed on to remove the threat of the Beasts forever. Are you ready for our first mission together?

"Indeed. I am sure you will find a way to surpass all reason and logic again, somehow"
"Wait, what missiont? Could somebody just explain how you even summoned a Divine-"
"Senpai" Mashu said, looking downcast "I'll follow you anywhere. Just. No more heroes, please. But before we go, Dr. Roman, is he...?"

"I'm here! I'm...here...argh, thank you". The man was bleading on the ground, with rubble sticking out of him. My light enveloping his body has cured most of that, but he still does not rise and he still acts delirious. "So. That was me, eh? I told him. I told him we were only trying to help, and he said we were harbouring Evils of Man, and that he could already see I had lost to one"

Well, he was wrong. Labels don't bind me.

"So I see, now. I think the one thing they didn't expect-ow-was for all of us to still have been alive...argh, Da Vinci-chan. Somebody. Please tell Da Vinci-chan her coffee will be late..."

Mash was looking at me weird. I wondered why. I was making some last minute calculations so I didn't have time to think too hard about it.

I turned back to the building. The surviving Grands were almost out, and I reluctantly resorted to brute force. The heavens opened up, and a storm of raging light began to descend-yet only piercing bolts reached into the building, the glowing tornado remaining at a safe height. I had no confidence the salvo would put them down for good. Nor was I planning to stay.

Solomon watched me go. "Wait!" he called. "But you must know then-if you're a Beast, then by your nature you instinctively bring ruin to the Human Foundation! Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

I won't ask you to trust me. But I can promise we'll see each other soon.

"Then...you are not seeking to destroy humanity? Remake it?"

Not as a result, no.

I didn't lie when I said I believe in Chaldea's mission. What's done is done, at this point permanently revoking the course of humanity will only do more harm than good. More than that, it would be a disservice to just dismiss every being it's wronged. The only ab aeterno recourse I have as a Beast is to destroy the system itself by which humanity excuses itself from the harm it commits.

Especially the Beasts. What kind of cosmic lynchpin is so pathetic it has to blame all it's failings on some outside force? This cycle of stagnation and self-preservation has to end.

(For a moment, I hear snickering from a direction that nobody present is aware of)

"Wronged? That's...a strange way of seeing it". He sighs. "But that's good enough, I suppose"

Consider the...signal interference mankind's collective time out. Goodbye, doctor. I'll see you on the other side.

Then I walked through a wrinkle in time, and my Servants came with me. Karna looking increasingly deadpan. Mashu with her head bowed low. And Ishtar-

"Wait a minute, you can't just walk through time like that! Not even Miracles can do that! Where are we going? WHEN are we going?!" she was yelling in sheer disbelief, as the aeons blew past us like gales.

Oh, near the beginning of the world. Shouldn't take long.

"I believe I just saw my entire life flash before my eyes" commented Karna. "Master, I assume you have a means of dealing with time paradoxes?"

Several. I meet his gaze, show him the souls burning like stars within me, enough to be a Human Order unto themselves. He understands.

"Right, that reminds me" Ishtar prodded me in the shoulder "you can't just go around destroying humanity, you know! Even if you are one of those Evils of Man! We need those to live! And give thanks for continuously living!"

Come now, it won't be a permanent destruction. Look, I'm here to-

"Miss" said Mashu in a low, dangerous tone "Senpai can do whatever he pleases". Ishtar gave her the blank stare of someone physically unable to process being insulted by a social inferior.

Hurridly, I announced we were here. Below us, the planet was a sea of molten gas and lava floes.

"Oh! Oh dear, it really is the primordial earth" Ishtar was going crosseyed from trying to keep up. Finally she shrugged. "Well, MAGUS, would you now like a tour of the planet in my boat of heaven?"

Thank you very much, that would be very appreciated.

"Why! You! Youreluckyyourecute!" she yelped, while killing intent pooled around Mashu's general vicinity. "Anyway, where do you want to go? Other side of the world? Maybe detour aruond the Moon for a better view?" Moments later she got the haunted look of someone who realised they were probably making very reasonable suggestions instead of sardonic quips.

Anyway, nah. Just down there by the valley with the plumes of lava, if you don't mind.

As we passed, I created a rock from the light of my soul and threw it in, knocking down a small pile of lava. Occult patterns crackled and coalesced briefly over the molten rock, as my will expanded through time and space.

And so, "plop" went the death of all humanity.

As we passed back into space, Ishtar kept sneaking looks at me, and pretending she wasn't. Mash accidentally almost strangling her before realising she didn't need to breathe. Poor girl must be stressed out.

"Well, that was boring. So. When do you get round to destroying humanity? Be-cause I maaaaay be obliged to fight you a little as Uruk's patron guardian deity" said Ishtar. "Er, master" she added.

Oh, I just finished actually. That dive helped me get the right topspin.

"What"

"Ah, I remember now" said Karna. "The butterfly effect, I believe you called it? The science of unseen motions changing the world. That stone you just threw, set off a chain of side effects that will cause humanity to have never evolved. Or something else to evolve in it's place, I would not presume to know fate"

"So be it" said Mash quietly.

If it's any consolation, it was painless. I have great mastery over harming humans.

"WHAT?!" screamed Ishtar. "But. We're still here!"

"There are cases to be made that none of us are truly human, therefore we may not be fully dependant on the Human Order" pointed out Karna. "You are a goddess. I became one with Surya after death. And this young lady-my pardon, I did not catch your name-seems to have partaken of a Breed of Calamity's energy. Perhaps our Master's touch made her something more than human?"

"...the fact that I was in the same building as a breeding pair of indestructible monsters is only just sinking in. What's a Surya?"

Right on all counts! Anyway, it's time to revive the human race.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

"As it was before?" interrupted Karna. "Without enforcing a new era upon them, or using it to fulfill your desires? While allowing them to choose their fate?"

You know it!

He let out a long breath. "I confess, I expected to die fighting you at that moment"

I'll do you one better. There's a reason you're on my team. Here, command seal. You take one too, Mash. And here's one for you, Ishtar.

"I have no idea what is even happening right now. I just wanted to get worshipped and go back to bed. Can we go home?" pleaded Ishtar.

Soon, soon! We'll even have a home to go to!

Anyway, with varying degrees of confusion I asked all of them to command me to save the Human Order. With that guiding directive, I gathered all the energy I had gained from humanity's hopes and dreams. I reached out, stroked the consciousness of planets, stars, the universe itself. And in a fracture of void-energy, I reached back through my personal timeline-

-and smacked the rock out of the way, while a cascade of restorative sunlight fell upon the birthplace of primordial life.

(Mashu was no longer surprised by anything. As Senpai broke into a big smile and led them sauntering back through time and space again, she simply accepted what had come to pass. She wondered if this was how the white-haired man felt all the time. After everything that had happened-

She could not laugh. She could not cry.

Fists balled, but-what was the point? Damn the Heroic Spirits. Damn every last one of those miserable Servants-belatedly, she decided to exclude those who fought beside her today, but they weren't really human so they shouldn't really count. Mashu didn't know how, but she could tell the man-Karna-also had divine blood in him.

The Throne of Heroes, now an enemy. The very idea of saving the world, a cruel joke; the world clearly did not want her to do so. As for what she believed in-

-what of it. Now that it was truly meaningful to herself, of course it would seem meaningless to those damned heroes.

So what if Senpai was a Beast, whatever they meant by that? He was kind to her. He gave her Turkish Delights. And a nice headband. And his trust.

He saved her.

He saved Dr. Roman, and now Chaldea. The more she thought about it, the less she thought of saving the rest of humanity, the thought of dedicating her life to people whose idealised champions that had tore down everything she grew up around, the very foundation for her own chance to truly live instead of rot in a lab was-

Repulsive.

But senpai must have had his reasons for sparing them. If they didn't see her as worth battle, she saw no reason to return the favor.

She knew she could trust him now. The sheer confidence in every step he took, how he stopped pretending to need to breathe or blink, the way the very World seemed to shiver in his presence. How could she have ever confused him for anything as asinine and self defeating as a human being? And besides-

-at the end of the day, she knew was now Senpai's Servant.

Only Senpai's.)

I started to hurry as we neared the present; already there was much to do, away from my current point of manifestation. When we arrived, it would be done but until then I had a lot to do. Still from my Servants' point of view, if I succeeded everything would be sorted and if I didn't-well, they wouldn't know any better.

Mash was giving me weird looks. Poor girl seemed like she's got a lot on her mind, so I didn't pry. I was sure she'd be fine.

When we arrived to the proper point of time where Chaldea was supposed to exist, it was seconds before I was due to register my application. This time however, there were many more applicants waiting outside.

"BEASTS!" shrieked Dr. Roman in the doorway. "BEASTS EVERYWHERE HELP"

"This is extremely disrespectful, human" snapped Goetia. "The Eighth Beast told us this is where you people work to preserve the Human Order. We are volunteering. Do not try our patience"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" added Tiamat, adjusting the swim ring around her waist.

Primate Murder said nothing, but advanced towards the front door. "Fou, foufoufou" said Fou, upset at being ignored. "Foufoufou, fou fou fou foufou~" said Fou #2, rolling her eyes.

"Really, you have to work on making your hiring practices nondiscriminatory" said Manaka, patting the sleeping Beast of 666 on the heads. "Your staff were very impolite. They just screamed and ran away when I tried to fill in some forms. If they don't behave better, I'll throw them into a Grail"

"Shh, you can't go around scaring the normals" chided Kiara. "Oh, and look! Anon's back!"

Good morning, team! Okay, I've got a lot of catching up to do with the bosses but I just want to say: I'm proud of everyone here for their progress, and I'm looking forward to doing some serious good for the multiverse together.

Doc. Glad you made it out alright. Before you ask-yes, we've met before. And yes, I've done something major to help us all out.

"...why? Why Beasts here?" asked Roman.

See Doc, I've been thinking: We really don't have the resources to tackle existential threats to humanity. We need people familiar with them. People with the grit and muscle to take on the unimagineable and incomprehensible. People with vision, with chutzpah, with the will to act!

So I found some existential threats to humanity, and recruited them to Chaldea as a subdivision under my command. Say hello to the Agents of B.E.A.S.T!

And that's when Dr. Roman fainted.









I can see forever.

I can learn as much as I dare, even if it's not quite enough.

From that exact moment, I knew my task was too much for one man to handle. So across the sea of possibilities, I found the ones from where the Beasts would emerge and began to manifest myself. Spiritrons pouring through the space between spaces like rivers of quicksand. Again, the face of man donned like a bad joke of a fairy tale prince.

There is much to do. Too much for one trapped in linear time. With all of time and space available to be experienced personally, there is no causality but which I make. I must still make progress of course, but the latitude of when I can start without resorting to other forces is comforting. Looking behind, I learn all this has already come to fruition. Looking ahead, I learn of what we will do together, once I have taught them how not to destroy with a touch.

And then, a shadow falls over my Grand Order.

She's right in front of me. It doesn't really matter where or when, everywhere, every when, the specter of Ryougi Shiki suddenly throws all into uncertainty. Suddenly, possibilities emerge where I fail or-as close as I can come to death. I choose to manifest before her in an Imaginary Numbers world, upon an abandoned boulevard.

"You're a hard man to reach" she said, grinning that insolent, sleepy half-lidded leer that precedes a massacre. Something's different about her, her Saint Graph exudes the overwhelming force of a Bodhisattva. For a moment, panic gripped me as I remember my arm and leg going dead by that blade-even though she's heralded by no fanfare, brings nothing new to the battlefield but a traditional japanese gown.

Of course it would be you. OF COURSE. I was expecting you sooner, really. Now that we've both touched the truth of the world.

"What can I say? Good things in life are rare, that's why I don't like to rush them. Look at you, what's rushing ever gotten you that made all of this worthwhile?"

Since when did you do pleasantries, Ryougi? Don't you have more harmless family members to be butchering?

"Heh. If only you knew. You silly, angry little man. But seeing you here and now, we're going to have such a good fight and I want to kill you so bad, I can't not smile. It's strange, I spent so much time trying to tell you the truth and now...I can hardly remember why I thought you'd ever listen"

Enough. I have come from beyond space and time to hurt you, and now I FINALLY have a means to do so permanently.

Your death will echo through eternity.

And YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD.

Space tears. To my horror, the World falls apart-and the spiral of molten rock I flung through time and space at her with it.

"Predictable. Then, let's start with what we both already know by now: When the Counter Force felt itself erased from start to finished, it became desperate for someone to save it. Anyone. Even" her smile dropped "a horrific abomination from beyond the veil of reality. Isn't that what you called me once? There is no such thing as a Grand Saver class, nor will there ever be again. But I think we both know by now humanity's gift has always been to surpass it's own limits. Imagine what all mankind could do, faced with an impossible challenge?"

"I never asked for this. I shouldn't be anyone's salvation. To be honest, I didn't even think it was possible. But seeing all those lives cry out for someone, anyone to rescue them? It was...interesting"

No more holding back. No more games. Bad enough that the Swirl of the Root has access to a Grand Saint Graph, with a closer look her innate talent's also unlocked the full power of her Origin Formal Wear. Armed with the power of symbolic transmigration, her blade can cut and parry between countless parallel worlds. With the might of a galactic deity and near-total mastery of all dimensions, her eyes are almost obsolete for applying the full might of the Root through a sword technique against me. Even worse, everything I've worked for could be undone at the first timelock.

With a weakened Grand Order, I can't afford fallout from my most powerful weapons and powers. I'll have to spar on her level for a while, just to maintain absolute parity of quantum superposition.

"...I'll give you one last chance. Give me my Mikiya-kun back, and I'll make it painless"

To that, I only deploy the Light Hawk Wings. Each etched with plasmic microcosms of fractal infinity.

"It's truly a shame we're beyond words but, I thought not"

Why should I bother?

Did you think I missed the irony?

I can't stand your existence any more than humanity can stand the Beasts.

It's her turn to be surprised. With my Beasthood, perfected swordsmanship, Meti's insights on division by want and the Mystic Eyes of Permanence I launch a furious assault with every blade I can launch. A nightmare of raging steel and shark teeth forged from Valor. All the blades in the Gate of Babylon and Emiya's Blade Works, multiplied a millionfold by multiple Magics. Endless artifact blades cast forth by the warcries of my souls. A multdimensional psychic edge, Orikan's work deployed from the Light Hawk Wings' edges like a chainsaw.

And she recovers swiftly, for she has been part of the Root for far longer. A confirmed existence predating myself, she is always where I least expect her. Possibilities to hit are cleaved, openings to the Root projected by expressions of Nirvana swallow up attacks and she cleaves the very space between seconds, almost dancing as that crystalisation of her swordsman hypnosis leaves her conceptually one step ahead of my blows. As she attacks she projects herself outside the illusion of the material universe, finding the chinks between my defences, piercing the gaps between infinities where my purest flames shelter. Where my blows ignite galaxies in uncharted space, hers swallow them up into singularities of utmost oblivion.

In one sense, as a Beast in the form of man I am sparring with Shiki at endless points of space-time, opening countless portals to compensate for my own two hands while she cleaves through everything and is simply never there to be hit.

From a certain point of view, there is one of me in every universe and I rain blows upon the Void, that kills me in countless universes even as I re-manifest in others.

Or perhaps, I lie in the palm of her hand and struggle fruitlessly to avoid being returned to my origin by force, under her eager grin.  Like Sun Wukong, defying the Buddha.

When you can be at almost every conceivable level of existence simultaneously, it's all relative. As I reforge and refine myself for battle, I wonder if a human would see anything at all.

What I do know with certainty, is that she has no openings whatsoever. So I look further, and further back, seeking the one possibility that will let me end this battle in a heartbeat. There. Behind-oh Shiki, you spiteful old hag. Singularities? Each imprisoning a Beast I would have recruited, in causality? Each a seal guarding the one that will give me a clean shot at your heart?

Fine, then. Let's dance.








>Advent Beast: An Evil Of Man Manifests: Goetia

Even in times as hard as this, there is always somewhere else for me to be. Even if it's only a little bit of me.

Somewhere else, after the rebirth of the Human Order I went back along the proper timeline's history to the end of Solomon's reign. I am excavating a tomb. As I dig and dig, the writing on it seems to erode in seconds as the newly restored World rejects one more paradox.

Someone is struggling inside the tomb. There are thumps that shift dust from the grave goods and death mask given to Solomon in his passing. There is thumping and banging, as the things within flail wildly in their indignity. And there is the sound of demonic voices raised in angry confusion:

"Warning! Oh King, this is disastrous. Human Order retrogradation detected! Recalling all Demon Pillars for recalibration!"
"Halphas proposing! In this pillar's opinion, this is all Flauros' fault. He was always fickle, lacking in resolve. He should never have been entrusted with the final lynchpin of our enterprise"
"Zepar contradicting! Flauros was of the Intelligence Room, he was one of the most qualified among us for infiltration and sabotage. We erred in constructing his human host's personalities, such an inferior species cannot be expected to cope with a mere two contradictory consciousnesses for long. Would that we could understand how to give humans the perfection we Demons enjoy, he would still be functional!"
"Andras protesting! Flauros has just been returned to our collective via the temporal anomaly! Analysis and interrogation inconclusive, but all signs indicate he was progressing well on his mission!"
"Forneus announcing! Observatory has just received an encoded tachyon transmission, an invitation from across space and time?! Higher dimensional interference through a human proxy detected! My King, this may be another Beast or a Grand Servant! Synergising with Spy Satellite and Control Tower to optimise capabilities! Scanning...scanning...all systems on high alert, target is believed to be..."

And as I finished excavating the tomb, the body of King Solomon's eyes snapped open and looked up.

"He's right on top of me, isn't he?" said Demon King Goetia, transforming into his true form.

Hi! My name's Anon, or you can call me Beast 8. I'm setting up a foundation to make humanity great again, and I'd like you to be part of it.

"Imposter. There are only seven Beasts, and I don't care who you are. But my mission is too vital to abandon at this juncture. Stand aside, or be annihilated"

Oh. Well, okay then.

"...okay then?"

Well, you seem to know what you're doing. I couldn't help but overhear your fellow demon admit his ignorance of human metaphysics but I'm sure that if you were trying to, say, create a perfect lifeform out of humanity's incinerated energy you'd have made sure to completely understand each and every aspect of the beings you're trying to improve. Including their motivations.

"Y-you misheard! Do not meddle in the out of context statements of demons!" He goes from readying his eyelasers to confused defensiveness in record time.

"Yes! Yes, of course I understand humans, why would you even doubt that?! But actually yes, that is what we have deemed our righteous mission! Very well strange human, since you have somehow traveled here from another era, you've earned the right of knowing the meaning of this world's destruction. I am that which you would consider the progenitor of all human magecraft, and to erase all suffering I will remake the planet without death. Created by the King of Magic Solomon himself, a cruel and indifferent tyrant who saw all humanity's suffering and lacked the sense of shame to alleviate it! He was naught but a self-satisfied, patronising indolent ass of a Magician, who spent more time managing his harem than sharing his blessings!"

You mean, much like your hypothetical replacement?

"WHAT. How dare you!"

If you've been observing humans for any amount of time, surely you would notice all non-supernatural lifeforms lean towards indolence where life is sustainable? Fish swim in circles where food is plentiful. Birds stick to strict migratory patterns. Gods are peaceable when praised often. Humans sit in their rooms when given internet.

I'm just saying, I'm PRETTY sure since your replacement species would want for literally nothing, they'd be so privileged that they'd act like that Solo-king guy.

Goetia visibly shudders.

"Well, we never quite thought of it THAT way before. But it doesn't matter! Can't you see all the loss, all the hatreds, all the laments in the world?! Even being like HIM is preferable to this!"

RIght, no argument here! But even so, with the energy you'd need for this undertaking I can't help but think you'd only get one chance.

"Fortunate then, that we inherited the idiot tyrant's clairvoyance and we have wisdom beyond any man!"

Then I'm glad to hear you completely understand the nuances and complexities of humans. Because, have you ever seen a genetic anomaly? Those babies born with one eye, or cracked and raw skin? Let's not even start on the spiritual ones.

One mistake. Just ONE mistake! And you could end up with an even more defective species.

Goetia sits down in mounting horror, scratching his head. "I...confess, we MIGHT have exaggerated our understanding of humans. Alas, we see no further option but to preservere. All of this cannot continue"

What if I told you, that I could give you your very own human souls?

"Oh no, we're not low class demons that need to eat"

I mean, personalised human souls. Ones that would bind to you-each of your 72 demons, and yourself too as the King over them-to teach you the underlying logic and mentality of humans.

"Impossible! You can't just make a-"

In a flash of light and a crackle of flame, I produce a human soul between my hands. Goetia goes rigid at the sight.

"The possibilities! Daring of you to hide that you too were a Magician, yet to create a soul so easily from nothing! We praise you for discovering such a useful Magic! So much pain and time will be saved! Very well interloper, what do you wish for in return? We command all magecraft, and soon nothing will truly be beyond our control!"

Well for now, I say as I started poking Goetia in the eye and inserting souls through it like a hypodermic needle, let's drink to your success! There's a great alehouse a couple mils south of here, let's get out of this tomb shal we?

"Yes, the imbibement of alcoholic beverages as a social lubricant. Truly, I have never understood why humans enjoy poisoning themselves. Very well, the incineration can wait one day!" he declared, Kool Aid Manning throught he walls. As we left the richly decorated tomb, I saw Goetia's fists already bunching in subconscious revulsion to death. Humanity was already setting in.

The journey started off quick, with Goetia conjuring a magic carpet to fly. Only for him to be confused by his own awe at the sunrise and bird's eye view for half an hour, before realising we were going in circles and belatedly teleporting the rest of the way. Around him, some of the more empathic demons started disagreeing about the plan while others defended it just as passionately. Goetia staggered as a few fainted from sheer overwhelming guilt, magically rebooting them a few times even as he started to feel self-conscious about all the clothes the other humans were wearing.

The alehouse was a shabby building made of rick brick and pink clay, in a one horse town that had seen better days. But within, men from all walks of life cheered and smoked, while women danced the soon-to-be night away. Belatedly Goetia restored the guise of Solomon's corpse, and shuffled his feet awkwardly at the door.

"Who's that at the threshold? Come in, come in, all are friends at this hour!" shouted the happy bartender.

Good evening! I am Al-Nahi, a merchant many moons from home, and many further to go. What news of Israel? And this is my friend, the distinguished prince Al...(fuck Shiki's coming in hot from that nebula, say something and focus on her!) Gore

Shit. Shitshitshit, I was too busy thinking about swords.

Goetia looks deeply confused. But the bartender just waves us off, laughing. "Well, rube or exile, a seat is yours if you can find it. And if you can't, I'll serve you standing! After all, we gather not to mourn but celebrate all the blessings King Solomon left us in his passing. Up until the hour of his death, he was the most wise and benevolent king of our generation. Even unto death, he gave word for how the soldiers and farmers' work should be allocated. So as he passed without any regret, we honor him tonight by not living with any!"

"Not living with any?!" Goetia contrives to look furious while drinking straight from the bottle with one hand and irritably conjuring solid gold into the surprised bartender's hands. "But did that man not neglect you all?! I heard tell that man never performed a single miracle! Not one, no True Magic on behalf of his kingdom!"

"Aye, and so what if he didn't? Makes him a bloody fine king in my book!" barked a grizzled veteran. "Have you seen what kingdoms awash with witchcraft are actually like?! I'm a captain by trade, and a damn djinn took me leg because I dun mistook a forgotten temple for a latrine while drunk! And I got off easy. There's an old kingdom called Uruk, where they say thousands of years ago the royalty, hah, bred with gods. Ain't that a young lad or lass' dream, eh? And what's become of them now, but ruins and folktales? The flood of Enlil! The curse upon all men incarnate that is Ishtar! So if you ask me, our king having magic and never using it means he had more sense than almost all the mad bastards we've had in charge!"

"But think of how magic could improve your lives!" shouted Goetia (who despite everything, was receiving cheers because this was already his 4th bottle of ale; at this rate, the bartender happily realised he could retire a young man if he could just keep the strange rube-who looked almost like the dead king in this dim light, but sounded too brash to ever be mistaken for him-talking, as more and more people were coming into the bar on hearing him rant) "You could have a, a bag of wind to drive your ship, or a potion to heal your injuries! And barman, you could create all the gold you like!"

"Bah! You think I can't sail because of these flesh wounds, rube?! I'll stick to my scars 'fore I piss on the wrong god again! Or piss one off, haha! Don't even get me started on the Egyptians and their cat-worship!"

"I'm more than happy with the gold though!" added the barman, handing over Goetia's sixth bottle. "Your generosity will do you great credit in your next life!"

"Well, as a woman may I just say that the king's wisdom is a magic of itself?" offered a harlot by the fire. "How many kings care about a law that sets all equal beneath instead of letting the crown do as it pleases, or seek prosperity before war? The king lives for himself. The king is owed loyalty by his kingdom. For this king to seek wisdom above all the treasures of the world, is...inspiring, to those who know the ways of rulership

"Any civilised one!" shouted Goetia. "That's like saying common decency is an achievement!"

"Then I pray you never go to Egypt sir, for the men are hung like asses and twice as stubborn around pretty boys with no sense" she retorted, to braying laughter from the crowd. "I've dwelled in opium dens and the bedrooms of princes. I've been fed fine wine, anointed with incense and soothed by the poppy. But if I have learned anything, it is that freedom is the most precious gift any living thing can receive. Do you not see that the king's true bounty was providing his people the security to find meaning in their own lives instead of imposing his own on them?"

The seventh bottle slipped from Goetia's slack hands; I caught it with a portal. "Absurd! There is no meaning in such a thing!" bellowed Goetia, hammering a fist on the table. "Kings come, kings go, the kingdom collapses and raiders lay waste to it! You sell your body despite the overwhelming risk of infection and death in pregnancy, of course you can only value such fleating moments! And you know NOTHING of what he asked of his servants! All of you, without the boon of magic what can the king-any king-leave you that is lasting?!"

The harlot raised an eyebrow, silver rings clinking. "Why, I ought to. No, no, I promised myself I'd leave behind naught but happy memories when I came to bid him farewell. Ayla, come here please. Say hello to this bitter, egotistical fool. Perhaps he will learn maturity from you"

Goetia choked on a mouthful of wine at the indignity, when a small hormunculus with violet hair and brown skin tottered up to him. She had a lame leg and a blind eye, but her remaining one looked into his without flinching. Angry mutters rose here and there, but most of the crowd was amused by the strange nobleman losing an argument with a whore.

"You! I know what you are. You were divine, but yes, HE must have cursed and left you to rot! Worse, your spiritual foundation has degraded to near a human level. Come, I can undo this."

"No" she said quietly. "I am Umu, demon child of Tiamat. Enemy of mankind. Bound to serve magi forever after my defeat at the gates of Babylon, cursed to dissipate over the centuries without mother's embrace. But when the scum that compelled me to lay low the holy land were slain, our king did not leave me to starve. Hearing the voice of God, he gave me a choice. To flee as a demon, or live in his kingdom as one of his citizens. As a human"

"And, you agreed?! But you had eternity before you! You could have easily found prey to sustain yourself, soft places in the World where magical energy restore your true power for decades! You're a primal force of nature, why would you choose to be his child slave? It doesn't make sense! Nothing about this makes sense!"

"Nothing?" Her eyes narrowed. "Have you ever huddled in the ground, fighting the loss of sensation to survive another month of hunger? Have you ever licked your wounds after heroes run you out of your lair? Have you ever truly lost, or felt lonely, or knew the world had no place for you? Oh yes, I know something of what you are too, lapdog" she whispered, the crowd goodnaturedly resuming it's regularly scheduled drinking-bar the harlot, watching Goetia's sputtering with scornful pity.

"The truth is, he never asked anything of me but to turn my fangs away from humanity. I was adopted by hunters. They will die in a few more seasons. I would gladly give my limbs to save them from another wild boar, and I pity you if you cannot understand the difference between a home and an eternity of unforgiving survival"

He stared at her, as she hobbled back to the harlot's table. I watched them pour themselves drinks, that weren't from the bar.

Goetia stared at nothing for a while. "What is this feeling? This, certainty that paralyses. I cannot comprehend or deal with this. Humanity is a tragedy, and yet I understand it is not without meaning. I cannot cope with this contradiction, what should I do?"

It's called humility, Goetia. You just learned some new, but valid perspectives on life. And that's okay.

"It is?" he asked.

Of course. All humans struggle to reconcile such things, all the time. By learning to cope with it, you grasp the very root of humanity.

"Ah. Very well, more alcohol! How can something be so frustrating yet invigorating? I want to dance! I shall dance my frustrations out upon this hovel!"

Do it! PARTY DEMON IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!

And so, Goetia danced and drank the night away, blowing minds with sick new dance moves that wouldn't be invented for milennia in another country. He tapdanced on the ceiling. He breakdanced on the bar table. He opened the door, got on the floor and everybody did the dinosaur with him. He finished with a magnificent worm, and finally passed out of sheer emotional exhaustion around the same time everyone else passed out from inebiration.

Almost everyone else.

"We should take our leave. Do give your judgemental friend my regards, I felt it impolite to say but. How should I put this? He is attached to something very dear to me" said the harlot, smiling while the girl formerly known as Ayla tottered out of the bar with a knapsack.

I'll make sure of it. I think Solomon was dear to him too. He just isn't very good at dealing with loss.

"Mmm. In that at least, I sympathise. Solomon was always very hard to understand. Once, I thought all he wanted was wealth trinkets, flesh, things all the other sultans and pharoahs and caliphs like. How wrong I was. Would you believe I tried to move heaven and earth just to prove him false?". She shook her head. "Childish of me. Even in looking after a bothersome woman, he was completely serious. I was so embarrassed, I couldn't bring myself to ask for more than he would give"

By the way, just between you and me? I never would have expected the legendary Queen of Sheba to go slumming with the pissants.

"Ha! I could say the same for you, Magician! Is that even right? I can tell you're even less human than your friend, and without my finest jewels he would have seen straight through this little glamour". She grinned. "Well, let's just say not every desert flower blossoms in her oasis. By the way, have we met somewhere? Argh, I'm supposed to be mourning HIM and the second you walked through that door, well. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you're the kind of slaver who likes to chain his girls even when they're too sore to walk. So, why do I have such a good feeling about you~"

Okay, it's officially my turn to look innocently baffled. Be cool. She can't possibly know about Bondage Wednesdays.

I'm a master. Not THAT kind, I summon heroic spirits to protect the course of history. Like you, in a fashion anyway.

"So, I'm famed in the future then! I can't imagine for what. There are no great deeds to my name. Nor calamities, or tragedies. That's the trouble with always taking the easy way in life, you could be the greatest witch-queen of your era but spend the rest of your life failing to make your mark on history"

She frowned, looking at the prone demon king. "I could have been a proper tyrant, you know. Some called me divine, and I never discouraged it. But meeting him, you start thinking beyond yourself. No, don't tell me, that chance meeting with the King of Magic is all I'm famed for isn't it?"

I awkwardly shrug.

"Well, it's better than nothing. Let me guess, you didn't even get my name right, not that I've ever cared much for those. Wouldn't do me any harm to be remembered as some bored noblewoman instead of a, hah, a half-demon immortal god empress! A beauty to break all hearts! Bah, ignore my drunken ramblings. Whatever I'm remembered me as, I promise you it's more interesting than the truth"

She stares at the prone Goetia. "I told him to keep that thing on a tighter leash, you know". Pursing her lips, a bed and set of blankets silently emerge the sand like a bobbing iceberg, fucking him in as he snores fitfully.

"I won't ask what else you are, but I hope for both your sakes you're a better influence on your friend than Solomon was. You've the bearing of a king, maybe you can still knock some sense into him eh? Come visit Sheba sometime! We're a very, very hospitable people~"

And off she goes, showing off her hips.

I stayed with Goetia throughout the night, preparing the Essence of Elemental Sobriety certified by the Unseen University. When he woke up and started cringing from the inevitably hangover, I silently handed him a flask of it.

"I've changed my mind" he gasped, sobriety running down his mouth. "To live, to find joy in life, so that's what kept all of them going all this time. I never had that luxury as Solomon's watchdog. This stolen body, even now it responds to that troublesome woman in particular. This bed is her work, isn't it? But all the same, that only means I've all the more reason to look after them! What should I do? How should I proceed?"

Well for starters, have you considered becoming my familiar?

"Yes. You did say you have some sort of enterprise. Do not think me blind, I see now your mana is irregular and that you foresaw this outcome. It was a mistake to deem you an imposter. Truly, your wisdom and judgement are akin to the K-" he ducks his head, shaking off the last of his hangover and blushing. "NO! Not at all like that damned man's! I will be blunt, I cannot bring myself to-this isn't in my nature to. What am I saying, you know of Solomon by now! Our working relationship ended poorly, and I will not suffer another indolent lout!" he all but screams, nervously fidgeting with the bedsheets.

I gently put a hand on his shoulder, he flinches from the gesture. It's going to be okay, I tell him. You can trust me. Whatever else I am doing, I will not sit idly by while humanity spirals into self destruction-nor will I fail to explain my reasoning. All I ask is that instead of overwriting the Human Order that has come to past, we support the advancement of the current quantum timelock's reference point away from destruction by improving it's standard of living. For the sake of the new generation that wishes to survive.

I intend to commercialise the operation of parallel worlds, restore man's ability to form Noble Phantasms and perhaps recreate ancient mysteries without the danger they might otherwise pose. The future is full of possibilities, and history needs butchers as well as shepards.

Are these directives acceptable?

"...yes. Yes!" He takes my hand, weeping tears of happiness. "What a wonderful idea! Of course, with such power we could accomplish anything!"

Excellent! Since you embody all human magecraft, let's start by adding some of mine! Let me show you a little of my TRUE nature!

"Wait what do you mean by HNNNNNNNNNGH" he gasps, as I insert my Sorcerous Initiation through the pact between magus and familiar, filling Goetia's spiritual core with a heavy load.

It is technically his first time, and I have to be gentle. He's used to being in control, but with a little coaxing and comforting he learns how not to clinch, leaning back into the motion. Hesitantly, he exposes some of his own private magical processes. I carefully integrate horizontally into them, the intensity of liquid light his spiritual core like icy mint on a summer's day.

As his eyes roll back from the intensity, he slowly starts to enjoy it, rocking back as I continue releasing into his private reaches. Lying back back, exhausted yet more fulfilled as a human than ever in his life as the demon god king, he purrs in ecstasy. I play with his core a while longer, my mana resonating with his until with a startled cry he fires off into the sky. Babbling something about premature ejection, he doggedly bites the sheets as the remainder of my emissions continue their steady penetration of him, and starts moaning suggestions of his own after a while. Such is my potency, that the fiery climax of our intimate union vaporises the bed.

I watch the singularities from this vantage point. Why would Shiki bother with them? In a fight with me, there must be better tactics. She could simply attack hard and fast enough I could never get to my core. And she DOES want to kill me. Badly. It's definitely a delaying strategy, but to what end?

"What are you talking about?" mumbles Goetia, happily rolling onto his side. "That was...educational. Are you sure we cannot rest a while before saving humanity?"

Hmm. Quick question, would you consider yourself a hero of justice?

"What. No?"

Have you ever caught a bad guy, like-a real supervillain?

"...no? Where is this going?"

Because I see now I'll have to teach you-all of you-how to be heroes!




>EVENT-The Battle of Screen-Time

The chittering of clones rent the air as flexing his newfound arcane might, Goetia teleported into Nobunaga's stronghold. I had decided to simply manifest myself again, and accidentally ended up in a broom closet. After a lot of shoving and one terrified maid, I fell down the stairs and strode out of the wreckage while Nobunaga was still trying to process why her other visitor was waving at thin air.

"You, deity of the demonic persuasion! What are you doing in my castle? How dare you ignore me!" shouted Nobunaga. Behind her Chacha was screaming the cloned pillar demons peeking in through her bedroom window.

What are you doing?! No. Nonono, okay Goetia listen: The middle of a battlefield is no place to have an argument about moral relativism, so I'm going to have to explain why blowing up all our enemies won't solve everything.

"No seriously, what are you doing here?" asked Chacha, finally giving up as an iteration of Agares left yet another demon-shaped hole in her wall, joining it's brethren far below to frustrate the enemy Servants with an impenetrable wall of magic.

"We are here to learn how to be heroes of justice" declared Goetia. "And also why it's wrong to melt humans into bands of energy" he added.

"Oh that's a relief, we could really use some reinforcements" said Nobunaga, smiling. "Especially ones as powerful as-wait what was that about melting humans?"

ANYWAY! As I was saying, we're so short on time that I can only teach you the beauty of humanity is through a song and dance number!

"Oh! I know that at least!" said Goetia. "In the tavern, you said it was like dance but...with more song. Hold on, let me look at a few alternate worlds to see what those are like"

"Is that like kabuki theater?" asked Nobunaga "Also what do you mean by alternate w-oh. Ohhhh, right, deities"

"I am so lost right now" said Chacha, wishing she was drunk enough to just go along with whatever was actually happening.

Na! Na-nanananana-na, na, na, na, na, na, na-na WE ARE NUMBER ONE!

And so, tiptoe-dancing out the castle doors, I used interpretive dance, improvised traps and acrobatics to explain the basic concept of human decency, the social contract, the idea of moral axioms and all that other feelgood stuff humans take for granted. Goetia quickly got into it so much, he soon forgot about priming Ars Almadel Salmonis altogether, cartwheeling in tandem to the music I conjured out of thin air. Noticing we were evading all incoming attacks, Nobunaga hesitantly joined in the musical number while Chacha enthusiastically belted out the lines even though she had no idea what was going on.

Soon our enemies joined in too. The Shinsengumi quietly laid down their arms as their soldiers got schwifty at each other. Suddenly noticing he was probably not going to be paid, Fuuma joined in on the second chorus. Already easily distracted, the clones started yelling NA NA NA at each other once Okita and Hijikata started popping and locking. Ushi held out to the last, but when it became clear battle was impossible without cutting through friend and foe alike she finally let Benkei drag her onto the impromptu dance floor.

An hour later, Goetia looked on the world with new eyes, gently smiling. He'd finally gotten it.

"Well. That was fun!" said Nobunaga. "I have no idea what just happened, but it sure beat being in a siege for days on end!"

"Hey listen, we're really sorry about that" said Okita. "You know, when i think about it actually going to war over someone over events that technically don't even exist anymore seems like an overreaction. This whole mess is my fault, I should have just stayed home and done samurai cop things"

"Don't you dare beat yourself up over it" said Ushi, covering her face in a moment of haunting lucidity as Benkei patted her on the shoulder "I'm the hairbrained glory hound that led those guys all this way here over a lack of screentime! Can you imagine what my honored older brother would think of me, raising an army just to get attention? Because I can, and it's not pretty"

Well, I'm glad everyone had fun today. By the way, have I mentioned I'm a Master from the future? Would anyone here mind helping me out with a little something  later if I summoned you to my base, I've got snacks and drinks to share!

"Sure!"
"Why not?"
"Well, my blood's already pumping at the sight of battle, I'd hate for this feling to go to waste!"

And so on, and so forth. Goetia, do the honors if you please.

"The others" he mused, looking at me askance. "You said you were the 8th beast, does that mean you now go to show the others they too can escape the cycle of hatred?"

That's exactly it. But-we're running out of time. It's hard to explain, but there's someone out there. Someone I'm fighting right now, and it's taking all of my concentration to keep up.

"I know". For a moment, the old fire burned in his eyes. "I see her too. You are bold, and wise, but even my creator would hesitate before challenging such a being. He worshipped another, after all. You must have a plan to tip the scales, but I could still reach you from here, help you to-"

No. Remember, restraint is the key. You can do more at Chaldea, get things organised. I'll need Servants. Lots of them.

And a singularity. You're right, I DO have a plan. If you trust me after all this, wait for me to tell you it when you get back. I'll see you soon.

"...I trust you. You know that. And I think you mean, you're already seeing me" he added, chuckling as he ushered the others through space and time.

This was heartening to me. In a multiverse this broken, that love took primacy over evil in even the greatest of beings. But I had more work to do.  Another singularity-and another Beast emerging.

And so, somewhere and somewhen else yet another manifestation of myself snapped open his eyes.

>Advent Beast: An Evil of Man Manifests: Tiamat

I have to admit. It was a much shorter conversation than I'd expected.

Out there on the wastes outside Babylonia, where the Second Beast hoisted itself in the form of a slim maiden's likeness, and spilled through the ocean like thick oil. Across the horizon as far as I could see, the spreading presence of chaos tide pouring over the ocean like grandma's raspberry jam. in the distance, the lamentations of Babylonian women. I worry that this would be a long, hard sell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" she cried, flinching at the bright sunlight, the relatively magical energy-deficient air, the distant echoes of man so alien to the rough apes she'd loved and nurtured all those years ago. "LAAAAA! AAAA, AAA, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she wailed, spraying Lahmus in every direction to be confused on her behalf.

I hesitate. I know out of my repertoire what is the most efficient means to reach an understanding with this particular Beast, but it is...crude. Undignified. No, an honest effort must be made before stooping to such depths.

By now my own skills as a Beast had matured to an acceptable level, but I was still on guard. Even with my nigh-omniscience, AAAA was very much a foreign language. Pouncing on Tiamat's motherly depths before she had time to give birth, I spread out my own Sea of Life even as I swam directly for towards her Femme Fatale. It took me a long, long time because in conversing my strength, even though I was beyond any human by now I still wore one's form.

And churning through the amino-geas like distant thunder, even if I were not psychometric I wouldn't be able to ignore the Beast's lamentations so close to their source.

(Alone)
(So alone)
(I am life)
(I am death)
(I am everything you need)
(I WAS EVERYTHING TO YOU)

I suppose it's heartening, to realise the Beast has retained more of her mind so soon out of her imprisonment. But it's cold comfort when I can already see the tide sweeping onto dry land to exact blind, uncontrollable vengeance. For every stroke I make towards the Fatale, the Beast struggles to reconcile it's impressions of me, and it's memories.


(Then you threw me away)
(No. Not you)
(You are new)
(More)
(Yes, more)
(Come to me)
(Life answers life)
(New child)
(Strong child)
(Returning to your mother, not like)
(Them)
(It was for their own good)
(It was not for my good)
(IT IS NOT GOOD)

I am starting to learn the nuances. Understand the tonal changes between AAA and AA-A, distinguish a happy LAAAA from a sad one. It's like whalesong or the chirping of cicadas.

Something slimy surfaces briefly, and subsides, the unborn thing briefly bumping my leg before slipping back into it's mother. I analyse the Fatale's bindings, and my suspicions are confirmed.

(So dark, so vast, so cramped, now everything is)
(Bright)
(And not the same)
(Hold me)
(Be one with me)
(Your soul, so bright)
(Like HIS, so long ago)
(Wait, can you not?)
(Why do you not do it?)
(No, so strong, of course you can)
(Do not hold back!)
(DO NOT)
(Ah)
(I remember now)
(I am not needed)
(...it is not your fault)
(Just be with your mother)
(Don't leave me...)
(Don't...)

And I break from the water, to stand upon it and face the vestiges of Tiamat as a goddess. Also known as her consciousness. You're wrong, I tell her. You are needed. There is a place for you, and with others like you.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she rebuts, violently, shaking her head, gesturing towards the bindings she placed upon herself so she could never rage against her children. "AAAAA" she moans, acknowledging that even now they're a futile effort.

Wait, what if I could bring you to them but keep you from smothering them? Do you want to see your children, Tiamat? Don't you want to see them grow up big and strong? Because that's what they are! Even if they've changed beyond all recognition, aren't they still your family?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

No. None of that. I step forth and embrace the goddess, even as she twitches and cries out in fear her bindings will break. Sometimes, no amount of speeches can replace a hug.

"AAAAAAaaaaa..."

Just as well. I had a solution in mind, but it's hard to explain in the Beast-tongue. As the mother of all clings to me like a drowning sailor, I transmit several different mental images: An evergreen utopia, a new breed of beast that can serve as her eyes and ears, an endless procession of worlds in harmonious alignment with each other.

She is wracked with grief and relief, it's not surprising she can't quite process all of it. But the tide stops engulfing the land, and Tiamat roils in herself, conflicted. Hours later, enough gets through that she nods in fearful affirmation. Unable to fully understand, unwilling to let go of the last being to return to her willingly.

And so, I bid her sit, showing her some of the memories of hope I partook of on my way to the rebirth of all worlds. Waiting for my Servants to pull through.

(In another world, Shirou Emiya stood proudly over his crop of vegetables. They had grown particularly beautifully even compared to the fairies' bounty. The sun was shining but not too brightly, the grass was impossibly green as if out of a dream. For this was Avalon, the everdistant utopia. An untouchable refuge for the King of England to rest in until the end of days-and her loving husband. Presently the King came out of their shared cottage and kissed him quietly from behind, as they enjoyed the tranquil breeze together in silence. Though time was fluid in the Reverse Side of the World, it had felt like more than a decade since they'd been reunited at the end of their lives)

(Suddenly, three people fell out of a slimey portal on a nearby hill. They were promptly followed by a veritable mob of Servants carrying botanical equipment and also weaponry. Shirou's mouth fell open. In theory, he-or at least, his...spouse? King? They'd never quite sorted out that particular dynamic. The point was, after a lifetime of drowning in his ideals suddenly seeing hundreds of Heroic Spirits competing with each other stirred old memories he'd long forgotten)

(The woman formerly known as Saber reacted much more quickly, because she recognised a few of those faces. The door slammed twice, and on the second time she came out carrying Excalibur)

("No, I don't know why he wants us to, and I quote, 'grab lil' bits of the Everlasting Utopia to take home like cheevos'!" explained Ishtar to her sister. "Nothing this man does makes any sense! He's lucky to be destined to marry a literal miracleworkers! It's not like I'm doing this for him or anything!")

("It's not nice to see you too, idiot. More importantly, what the hell did you do to your clothes?" said Ereshkigal as Achilles rode past laughing, chased by a furious amazon covered in dirt. "Actually, I was expecting to have to bury your victims myself once you went rogue in a Grail War. To be quite honest, this is almost relaxing by comparison")

(Over in the corner, Mashu was beginning to see red. The first batch of Servants had been...tolerable, and she had quietly approved of her colleagues' judgement, even if assigning them missions and drills had been like herding cats. But Sempai's orders had been quite clear, and after a dozen more heroes any lingering nostalgia she had felt for humanity was replaced with unrelenting hate. She did not bother to chastise the gaggle of queens and witches slacking off to braid flowers in their hair. She simply glared until they became uncomfortable and sheepishly went back to their posts)

("Excuse me, we appear to be under attack" said Karna, who had been corralling the rest of the wretched heroes through cameraderie instead of fear. For some reason. "Over a dozen Servants have had to retreat so far. We're liasoning with some of the natives to reach an understanding, but one of them keeps making lewd jokes. And the other is advising a tactical retreat")

("Eh? What kind of force can defeat that many Servants?" asked Ishtar, looking at the flashes of golden light battering surprised impromptu soil analysts here and there)

("It appears to be one woman-")

("Ha!")

("carrying a golden sword forged by divine hands, but which I cannot identify" continued Karna, furrowing his brow in concentration. Ishtar choked mid cackle. then froze in stunned disbelief. Being quicker on the uptake, Ereshkigal broke into a run and gave the signal for retreat. "Ah, thanks for the warning!" blurted Ishtar, flinching as another arc of golden light cut through the Servants.  "Yes. Yes, I think we should all leave RIGHT NOW and I hope these clods of land was worth our Master challenging THAT blade")

(Mashu wondered what all the fuss was about, but took a moment to enjoy the day finally looking up for her. Somewhere, there was a portal to another time and place where Sempai's workshop lay, and somewhere even further than that he was going about his missions. Surely it was impossible to comprehend the thoughts of an ultimate lifeform, but Mashu still hoped that having dug the biggest pile of dirt she could, her contribution would stand out to Sempai above the rest)

(She had half a mind to go over and beat the wielder of that other Holy Sword's face in just to see if she could. But it seemed the mission was over. Besides, she loved the sound of Heroic Spirits screaming in the morning. It sounded like...victory.)

From a nearby portal, I withdraw what could be arm floaties if Michelangelo had dedicated years of his life to creating the perfect arm floaties. Carefully I put them on Tiamat's arms, and she froze as she began to pour into the microcosm within, afraid of another trap-but relaxed when the magical energy nourished her instead.

Even with Beatrice's tutolage, reverse engineering and miniaturising my Fragment-ship had been an engaging challenge. But as I watched the Chaos Tide shrink as Tiamat happily frolicked while wearing her new, portable home I couldn't deny it was worth it.

"Aaaa? Laaa!" she chirped. "Aaaaraaaaaaa~" The tide had shrunk to only fill the bay, but now she tugged at my arm, as if trying to say something.

Anything wrong with the new home? It's infinite on the inside, so you can design life all you like! It doesn't chafe, does it?

"Laaa!" she shook her head.

Well, I know it's not a perfect solution but at the very least you won't have to worry about smothering your kids again. Now, about that lifeform idea I had. I was inspired by the Devonian era, we could have some kind of fish with one eye in it's forehead and a stomach that's mostly brain. What do you think?

"Laa! Laa!" she bounced up and down, tugging at my shirt.

Or of course-the Silurian era, nothing can beat that for giant insects.

"LAAAAAA!". She seems desperate to tell me something, but I can't fathom what that might be. And my more extraordinary senses are still hyperfocused on a swordswoman many lightyears away.

"AAAA! AAA, AAA, AA!" She promptly threw me in the tide and starting straddling me.

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand.

"AAAAAAAA!" she moaned, pointing at her pelvis as I thrashed in the leglock, trying to figure out what was going on. Were the pocket dimension boundaries too tight?

It was around the time she started pushing my face into her cleavage that I finally realised she had very, very specific ideas about what kind of life she wanted to make.

And then [DATA EXPUNGED]


>EVENT-Mad Emiya: Gae Road

A few hours later, there were thousands of smaller, derpy, midget Tiamats surrounding the original mother goddess. Who was very tired, but happy. For no particular reason.

As I surfed through time and space on her waifish form, the waves of chaos tide were crested by hundreds of the little buggers squalling and swarming out to explore the world around them in order to expand the hivemind that would record and relay information to their mother like a colony of ants. She tilted her head in unaccostomed comprehension from what I'd already explained to her of modern society, while the Tiaminiatures chittered playfully at each other and nibbled each others' horns.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA" sighed Tiamat in relief, patting one on the head.

"Aaaaaaa" it cooed softly back at her, crawling into my lap to receive another headpat.

Even with greater knowledge of life's inherent value, Tiamat still found the local conflict utterly insignificant. She had a point; the world was a ravaged wasteland, and somewhere out there people were probably getting ready to evolve into A-rays if something wans't done to fix it soon. Well, her exact words "LAAA, LAAA, LAAAAAAA" would be more accurately translated as happy birthing noises but the point was the big picture demanded drastic solutions.

So! With me supplying the life essence through [DATA EXPUNGED], and Tiamat automating the generative processes we started repainting the world with a new ecosystem. Lush rainforests over barren wastelands. Gelatinous mega-protoplasma to sustain fresh water where it would normally not exist. A breed of flower-factory from the Dragon Kings' past which provided sunlight would alter the weather to be more suitable to human life. Even a few confused Divine Spirits staggered out of the Chaos tide determined to make the world a better one to live in.

It was a constructive form of rehabilitation. With so little left alive to smash, Tiamat's urge to stretch her creation powers was proving to be a net boon for the world-and through that same creation, she was slowly rediscovering her love to nurture life instead of crushing it. Everywhere it spread out from her, the Tiaminiatures scampered around spreading their own primordial soup as they went-more of a puddle of life than a sea.

The explosions of trees, lashing waves and increasingly loud AAAAAAs drew the convoy's attention pretty quickly. The driver balked at the black mud crumbling the ground dangerously near her, but her jaw dropped on the lush Eden blooming in it's wake. She hesitated yet again at the enormous albino dragonwoman basking in her own leavings in a state of bliss, but took a second look at all the fruit bursting with nutrition around her. With some trepidition, she finally decided to lead her cargo near one of the more stable inroads into our little paradise.

Hi! Can I help you?

"You might already have" she said cautiously. "Is that fresh water? Fresh crops? How did you do all of this?"

Yep, yep and-it was a team effort with the lady over there. It's all a bit volatile at the moment (behind us, a poetic mobile fungus flees a mobile venus fly trap as Tiamat gets creative), but it should be self-perpetuating in a day by my count.

She squints, over at the "lady" crying out in AAAAA as black mud tarnished green gushes around her. "Well, do you mind if I and my crew settle down here?"

Sure! We'll just be a minute, gotta finish up with the terraforming down south.

"South? But that's where Immortan Meb's forces are coming from!"

In fact, one of the furthest roaming Tiaminiatures had already been speared by one many miles away. After squaking angrily, she had sprayed mini-Lahamus at the unfortunate spearman before sounding the alarm; Tiamat let out an angry warcry, and the verdant tide gushed like a pyroclastic flow as she attempted to soothe her daughter's pain from afar. By the time we'd caught up with the futhest outflows, Mebd had already been pushed back to her castle under the roiling floods of mud, vegetation, snarling beasts and daughters. Having learned several sharp lessons about the nonviability of the spear against an invading force that doesn't blead, there was a white flag being waved frantically by the commander in queef.

"Laaaaaaaa" said Tiamat sternly, having transformed into her draconic corpus. The injured Tiaminature squawked angrily as she cradled it, the unhealing wound washed away by the tides. It was good to see her maternal instincts reawakening. Behind them, EMIYA had staggered out of the black mud and was vomiting while Tiaminiatures playfully kicked him in the shins.

"Parlay! PARLAY" yelled Mab, tossing her mask and plastic abs costume aside as she hurried out to meet us. "Oh, this isn't good. Which one of you is in charge? I at least demand we try to kill each other more civilly!"

That would be me. And have a care, my comrade is technically in the middle of a delicate female moment.

"Oh dear! That sounds awful" said Mab in complete sincerity. "How bad is it? I have an excellant home remedy for that sort of thing, in fact on a campaign I myself-" It took her a few more seconds to process I was referring to the giant dragon woman staring curiously at her, and fall silent in shock.

Well, that's the end of the line. I opened up a couple portals in time and space, and began asking who would come fight for me at Chaldea and who wanted to go home.

"Me! I want to go home, you're a miracle worker! Haha, what am I saying, you must be some kind of Magician!" said Cu, as Cu and Cu nodded vigorously behind him. "I wish you luck on your quest, but I just want to get out of this godsforsaken land and back to my proper era. Emer must be worried sick by now!"

"Aye, mine as well" said Cu, twirling his spear, "At least you look young enough she'll probably forgive your tardiness, lad. Mine's probably going on about Fand at this very instant. Again"

"Cu-Cu! Stabby!" yelled the chibi Cu, which the others tried to ignore.

"You are all a hopeless bunch of milksops and nancies" declared Cu Alter, "but I'm no better for being unable to free myself from unfriendly thighs over there. So I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to go home, I'm going to kill every fucking Fomorian I come across along the way, I might start a war or two for the hell of it, I'll gut that FUCKER Lugaid like the rotten fish he is. And then I'm going to drink until I black out"

"But we've been through so much together!" cried Medb.

"I hate to admit it, but she has a point" said Scathach urgently. "We were all supposed to go to the Green Place together, remember?"

"The wot?!" demanded the last Cu to leave. "I didn't quite hear you over those damn iron chariots, but the hell is that? With all due respect teacher, I thought you were gonna use your witchy powers to take us to FIDDLER'S GREEN! Besides, I can quite clearly see this greenish land's growing on a big poool of black 'n red. So you can stay here if you like, but if it's all the same to you I've got a destiny to fulfil"

"Yes, that's always been the problem isn't it?" said Scathach to herself as that Cu nimbly dodged Medb's frantic tackle, saluted me and backflipped through a portal.

"I don't know where I am or what the hell just happened, but only one of these portals goes back to anywhere like the modern world. Oh good, it even looks like Japan" said EMIYA.

That's Chaldea headquarters.

"Close enough. That man had the right idea, I need a drink" he muttered, trudging through the portal.

The two women stared at each other, as the remaining warboys frolicked in the Eden growing around them. Not fo the first time, they contemplated each others' similarities.

They stared at me. Already, husbando withdrawal was beginning to hit like a hammer.

They stared at the complete shambles of anything worth fighting for, juxtaposed with the paradise spreading over the wastelands.

They stared at me again, eyebrows raised; Medb licked her lips, all thoughts of Cu husbandos suddenly forgotten whiel Scathach was far more excited by faint inklings of danger my Authority provoked. "Hello my would-be conqueror, do you require the services of a witch/queen? Get out of my way this is my gig!" they suddenly yelled at each other.

As I tried to break up the fight, Tiamat sagely said "AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa", a harsh but fitting statement about the eternal folly of mankind. And so I turned away yet again to overlook the remaining singularities.


>Advent Beast: An Evil of Man Manifests: Primate Murder


(It had been a cold, cold winter. The snow gleamed like the surface of the moon. Behind him, the village was rife with burning rubble and screaming. He barely paid it any mind, even as he glared resentfully from the shadows)

(It hadn't always been this way. The family had taken him in after that child had led him home. Learning to roll when they said to roll, tussling over balls with the children, even speaking the language in private. Then he'd misjudged his strength, splattered the child. And amidst the screaming, knew even as the adults kicked him that these rough apes could never compete with him. It was human nature to despise competition, if what he'd learned of their treatment of megafauna was any sign)

(They'd envied the fortune of others, soon after losing their own offspring. They'd regretted ever laying eyes on him. He knew in his bones, what he had done was only the truest nature of man magnified)

(After he'd been kicked out, a strange blonde woman had tried to exert influence over him. She stank of moonlight and strange radiations. There was none of the tenderness or succulence, the SPARK he'd come to crave in the few humans he met these days. So he'd ripped off her arm by way of warning, and was mildly surprised at how time itself reversed to piece her back together as she fled. Dimly, he noticed she seemed more confused and-if she had been human, he'd have called that expression "hurt". But he could tell she was as much a predator as he, only better at hiding it)

(After that, there was naught but the hunt, and the chase, and the kill, and rest. He built his strength, always thinking of how he'd prove himself the superior lifeform on his return)

(He licked his chops, leaving the village behind. The irony was, he could have never done it had the primates of this world not had the very flaws that led them to adopting him in the first place. They thought him amusing, so they took him in. They deemed him unworthy of understanding, so they cast him out. And all of that, he felt-he KNEW-made him stronger. Gave him fangs like knives and sinews like iron, bolstered his very soul until he was more force of nature than dog)

(All things had to strive. Comfort was a lie and innocence a chrysalis, that much he'd learned the day the hand that fed and pet him slammed the door in his face)

(Presently he came across another human, wandering through the snow. He could tell this one wasn't normal either, but where the other had been disgustingly foreign this one practically radiated humanity. Scarce yet exquisite envies, surrounded by an endless well of regrets-despite himself, the Beast of Envy was so excited he couldn't even bear him ill intent at that moment. Like a moth to a candle flame, he trailed the man closely, quieter than some of the greatest Assassins could ever hope to be. His paws made no impression on fresh snow even when it was many feet deep. His coat shimmered and blended into winter itself)

(And Primate Murder was therefore terribly surprised when the man suddenly turned around, squealed "WHOSAGOODBOY?! YOU ARE! YOU ARE!" and started ferociously patting him on the head)



>EVENT-Festival of Fitness


This Beast was cute! CUTE!

Also, I was really worried about civilian casualties but after a few weird looks he...was surprisingly tractable. I started to notice Primate Murder was subconsciously emulating some of my mannerisms. Not coincidentially, he looked increasingly bewildered and amazed. He hadn't said anything, but after my embarrassing lack of cuteness restraint (I inwardly despaired at ever /fully/ eliminating some of the flaws in my psyche) his body language had done a complete 180 from predatory curiosity to.

Well, it was like being followed around by a big greyhound with an attitude. A receptive one mind you, as I tried to explain the idea of competing without killing the other competitor he nodded silently. But there was still an edge to his movements.

I was a little alarmed to realise I was personally expected for this singularity. Nobody was willing to give me a straight answer, and what I gleaned from their minds left me...concerned. There was a lot of genuine, if equally confused, enthusiasm. But one or two of the sharper minds knew more than they let on.

The opening event was surprisingly close. While Primate Murder had an absolute right of killing men, Heracles owned multiple Noble Phantasms with an absolute right of slaying beasts-opening with a beautiful Nine Lives: To Grapple The Impenetrable Hide which turned into a suplex so powerful it split the heavens above and caused a shortlived earthquake. PM was blatantly shocked, but swiftly recovered-going straight for the calf and driving Heracles into the earth while the man laughed at finally, FINALLY meeting a proper challenge. As I shouted encouragement from my corner, I wondered what was more astounding: Almost nobody questioning a big energy dog participating, in the case of the Amazonian team audibly cheering PM on-even as their fight quickly escalated to destroy most of the nearby buildings. At last, the hound threw down the bloodied demigod, shook him atop the coliseum's rubble like a rat, and bared his fangs for the man's throat-

-I made frantic NOPE gestures. Which proved unnecessary. Heracles had gently, gently patted him on the side while baring his own throat in admission of defeat. Slowly, PM backed away until Heracles hoisted one of his paws into the air to acknowledge the cheering.

He looked contemplative afterwards. As I simply phased through the Maze Run's walls, I noticed he paid particular attention to Asteroius' own valiant trekking.

Come the obstacle course, he had somehow learned to walk on two legs and sproued opposable thumbs. Daring me to say anything about it, as he totter-pounced to the starting line; the crowd went wild at that, and Atalanta gave him an ancient greek dog treat. Also known as a fresh oxtail bone. Perhaps in return, after Nero pulled a golden apple out of her ass to throw in her way he'd spiked the fruit right back in her face. Before furiously fumbling with bipedal movement-and STILL outpacing all the other competitors bar Atalanta herself, Medusa and Hippolyta. He found his pace just over the tire tracks, and in a sudden burst of speed outpaced the maiden of Artemis to hit the ground panting.

Once more, there was much rejoicing. People who already had no problem with a dog competing in sports events were going wild over said dog dominating them.

I took the quiz. What's the capital of Babylon? Uruk. What are the ideals of all sports? Harder, better, faster, stronger. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Trick question, doesn't say whether it's african or american. I was expecting to take the shield surfing event too, but PM practically lunged for the starting point-before begging silently for a shield. I have to admit I wasn't expecting paws to be so good at steering a microcosm, they actually knocked Achilles right off his own. The man was out for payback come the capture-the-flag contest, and harried PM with his noble phantasms while the other teams cautiously (except for Heracles) and unanimously decided to keep him busy too-leaving me to discretely pick up the other flags at leisure.

...I won the bodybuilding and beauty contests unanimously. But at what cost?

It was around the monster hunt that I started making enquiries. Romulus laughed and clapped me on the shoulder as I hauled back a dead chimera in seconds, telling me not to think too hard about it. Chiron simply admitted he saw ill omens in my future, as the other Servants were flung around by PM on the end of a rope.  Flying under my own power in the sky course, Nero asked if we'd ever met during the sky course, but I left her behind too quickly and she claimed to have come down with another headache after. It was Alexander who gave me something resembling a straight answer during the chariot race:

"So! You're the man I got summoned to slay, eh? Have to say I'm grateful to the fates for a rematch after missing you entirely!"

That got my attention alright. I asked how he'd recalled information from a negated timeline, as PM hauled on the reigns in my hands.

"Hah, if only! No, the young swordswoman-no. That foreign goddess told me. I don't think she really meant to, but I did sense something odd about all this and she didn't care either way. Anyway, if you have to know then yes she did gather all of us here, from the Throne to this odd little fateless world. It's just that most of us were spirits at the time, and only the divine can glimpse the nature of such impossibilities"

Fuck. Black hair, traditional japanese dress, cold blue eyes?

"Japanese? What's that? But yes that's her, to the other two. Watch that pothole!" he added, laughing as a stray bolt of lightning burnt one a meter away. "And well dodged! Do you two have history? Not the good type I think, with that hateful look! You shouldn't hold such grudges, we're supposed to be having fun!"

I barely swallowed my hate, and in response PM lets out a bloodcurdling roar as he rams Iskander's chariot, sending the man flying. As he leaves, he cheerfully shouts "I'd keep a tighter reign on that Beast, if I were you! I'm all for a rematch, but don't you think the stakes there are a bit much?"

He did have a point. I took it easier during the gladiatorial games, carefully making sure PM stuck to his assigned battleaxe instead of his hangs. The eating contest was even more relaxing, and by the singing contest I had already decided on how to fuck with the akashic record's avatar if she was listening to all this: Belting out an edition of Singing In The Rain so glorious it reduced the judges to tears.

By the day-long break, I had gotten my trembling fists under control. How many centuries? How many pointless games like this one had we fought, in those conjunctions of space and time when all my old foes rushed me and each other? Of course they were only avatars. And here I was, fumbling at straws and two steps behind the bitch yet again.

"I liked the sausages" said PM. It was the first thing he'd said-properly said-to me since we'd met. I wondered how to apologise for a sudden onset of headpats. And asked him why he hadn't said anything before.

"What was there to say? Words can lie to you. Make you feel too safe. More honest, just to act"

I couldn't argue with that.

"And the blood pudding. And the roast boar. And the pheasant. And the mead. Humans sure know how to celebrate" he mused.

That's good to hear. What about the rest? We're going to fight tommorow, almost no holds barred. You won't have to hold back.

"If I didn't hold back, they all would be dead by now. Grrr...maybe not that big demigod" he added reluctantly. "You're strong. You reek of THEM. That's why I followed you. But don't underestimate me. I know why you took me here"

I never hid my intentions, you know. But it would've been awkward talking to someone who didn't talk back. For what it's worth, I do hope you had a good time here.

He growled. "You've made your point. Competition doesn't have to end in blood to have meaning. You think I should regret ravaging that village?"

I'm not asking you to. Just to think of shepherding as an option in the future, before culling.

"They started it. They started it all, you know" he sighed "I suppose I would be surpassing them in mercy, if nothing else". We shared a companionable silence as i scratched his ears.

After a while, he asked "So are you going to tell me about the one you hate? You reeked of regret whenever you think about that girl"

Not a girl. Akasha.

"Oh? Hrruuuumm, never hunted one of those before" his tongue lulled forth in a wolfy grin. "Let me know if you want her arms ripped out before you really hurt her"

I shall. I think I'm starting to figure out what point she's trying to make with these contrivances. And I refuse to play her game.

And I didn't, come the final battle. I fought, and I fought, and with PM at my side no Servant could stand against us. The sky seemed to darken as the judges declared us the winners. A current of magical energy flowed through our surroundings, connecting the spoils of war to my very being. My suspicions from the other singularities were confirmed-beneath the skin of the World lay not another horizon, but a recursively folded border of space like a miniaturised Grand Reality Marble.

I made a point of inviting all the Servants to Chaldea headquarters. The ones who I claimed for myself gave each other worried, blushing looks for entirely unreasonable reasons. Which should have had nothing to do with the fact I'd picked so many of them, nor that I had already exceeded the maximums of Logos Eater and Nega-Messiah by now.

"So, this is what humans are like in heat" said Primate Murder.

What? No, and I'm not a human!

"Sure, you just smell like thousands. In a good way". He managed to lear while looking like a wolf. "Also I meant your chattel. No, your kine. "

I have no idea what you're talking about.

"You only picked women. All of the women, in fact" he pointed out. "That young Amazon smells both furious and excited, but you had to break the short Roman's legs to escape her leglock. Both would definitely bear you strong litters"

I'm just recruiting people I know would work well with me!

"Or maybe the gorgon's more to your taste, hmm? The blood of a fallen goddess is still virile!"

And as we argued all the way back to the modern era, I tried to ignore the gentle puff of the singularity imploding behind us.


(Everything had happened so quickly, that it only hit Mashu how much had changed when ever her superhuman strength gave out enough to head to the break room. Senpai had done something none of them could understand to CHALDEAS-it was too bright to properly monitor, but the Servant Edison had been screaming it shouldn't have been possible while the Servant Tesla had been weeping tears of joy at whatever he saw before it's glory burned out his eyes-that replaced it with a miniature model of the entire universe, and from it hundreds of Servants had flooded into the room. Powerful Servants, weak Servants, inhuman Servants, heroic Servants, Servants that were entirely fictionalised, Servants from future realities. She looked above, where streaking glyphs dotted with glowing spots had traced themselves throughout the facility. Apparently they represented individual missions given to each Servant, because on their summoning they seemed to already know what they were called to do for the plan.)

(That plan being, the conquest of Earth. The destruction of the Mage's Association. The annihilation of the Church. The requisition of Atlas. Mashu had mixed feelings about the whole situation, while she held nothing but contempt for most of the Servants, some had elicted no small camaraderie from her-some even against her better judgement, like the little murderess who loved her like a mother, and the incarnated children's book)

(They were innocent, like she once was. Even if humans grew up to be useless, putrid wastes of skin she would do anything to protect the very incarnations of smiles. Perhaps together, the ascension rituals would make them something more than human. Just like SHE had been)

(...she blushed, remembering her first four ascension rituals. Were those even normal ascension rituals?! Did ALL Masters do THAT with their Servants!!? How would that even work for the likes of, say, Heracles?!? Her combat outfit was ruined, even if they could stitch it together again there was no way they could ever get the stains out! She'd had to sit on a bag of ice for hours, and still walked like a drunken sailor!!! And to add insult to injury, on some level she realised it was only a small part of Senpai. The rest of him was off dealing with what must have been a much, much more complex part of their plan)

(Anyway, the point was that the mission as a whole was noble. Humans didn't deserve to rule this planet, and even if she didn't understand entirely what they were doing, she was certain those higher beings-Beasts, she remembered Sempai calling them-were absolutely unassailable by humanity. And therefore, the world)

("Excuse me, is there any coffee left in this room?" asked a spearman. Mashu's eyes narrowed, nodding as he gratefully came in to fill his cup. He started to thank her, only to meet her glare and think better. After a couple awkward minutes, he tried to strike up a conversation out of what she could only consider misplaced bravado)

("I just remembered where I knew you from. You're our Master's original Servant, right? I was one of the first summoned, and I saw you next to him")

("Yes. Yes, I am" said Mashu, dimly mollified that she had taken a literal goddess' position if only in Diarmund the Dim's mind. If she could fault Senpai for anything, it was his abyssal taste in women. Why couldn't have have called on a nice chaste nun, or an emotionless destroyer as his primary subordinate? Why, WHY did it have to be a holy prostitute who was CLEARLY enjoying the ascension rituals far more than was seemly?!)

("To think any one mage could maintain so many Servants at once" mused Diarmund, propping up Gae Buide against the table. "I can't imagine the kind of resources he must have to achieve this. One would almost think he isn't even human!")

("That's because he isn't" said Mashu)

("HA! Idiot, of course he isn't human! What kind of human would use Servants to destroy western civilisation?" laughed a brazen blonde woman. Who, Mashu couldn't help noticing, was also limping while trying to hide the stains on her shorts. Which might have worked better if those shorts weren't so, well, short)

("Knig-forgive me, King Mordred, you honor me with your presence. Also, a foreigner?")

("Bah, we killed a maneating forest together. You don't have to bow and scrape like the peasants, Diarm. Anyway, I just came back from blowing up that Great Wall so if he is a foreigner he's a terrorist too. Not like I care". Her grin was infectious, despite her gait she was bouncing up and down in happiness. "He let me be king over Britain! KING! I can rule it forever in this body! Did I tell you about how he summoned me to a world where Caliburn was still in it's stone?!")

("Yes. Yes you did, several times in fact" said Diarmund politely)

("And then he was with me there, right, and even I couldn't believe I could do it but he was with me and then I just-")

("Wait" said Mashu. "What do you mean, rule it forever?")

("Oh, don't you know?" said Mordred, wolfing down donuts. "For those of us who DESERVE to rule, our Master gave us a treasure that will let us retain all our gifts as Servants but endure in reality forever. And gives us endless mana, as if we'd ever need it! Better than anything that old lech Merlin ever turned out". "How?" asked Mashu)

(Mordred's face scrunched up in concentrated. "It's a...thing. Stuck inside a cage of crystalised...crystals, just really shiny crystals. Yeah. Ball. Big glowey ball full of, of, swirly lights and hopes and impossible sounds. He called it a..." Nitocris had entered the room and Mordred blanched as she struggled to remember an explaination she never thought she'd have to remember. "Pro-to-shin-mae. Maic. LOOK, I DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT A WIZARD!" she yelled, punching a hole in the wall. "It's a big glowing ball that makes you feel warm inside, okay?!")

("Don't begrudge your ignorance, I don't understand it either" said Nitocris, helping herself to some Kool-Aid. "I've never even heard of such treasures, if I didn't know any better I'd guess they were the hearts of planets! I could spend a lifetime studying them, and still not understand everything")

(Diarmund had something on his mind. "I'm honored to have fought by your sides, both of you. But have you ever wondered if we are truly doing the right thing?". "Eh?" "How do you mean?". Mash said nothing, but inwardly prepared for battle)

("Those mages. They didn't have Servants of their own". Diarmund frowned, he'd been assigned with a woman who could turn into a dragon and a frenzied boy he was later told was all the world's evils. Without Servants of their own, the Clocktower's residents had died in droves before someone had unleashed a legendary spear called Rhongomyniad's light, obliterating both the teams of Servants and half the building. When it turned out some of them survived, the remaining mages had fled or accepted death. "We're declaring war on the whole world, and most of the world has no way of fighting back. Doesn't it bother you, that all this isn't even a battle?")

(Mash said nothing. The few Servants who'd gloried in the subjugation of humanity were usually unhinged or broken. So, quite unlike herself. But this left her in the awkward position of having to put up with people like Diarmund)

("A little. Belgium was lovely, before we razed it to the ground" admitted Nitocris, softly. "But I went back to Egypt. Saw what those evil men on the borders of my country did to each other, and how nobody remembers the pharoahs of old. It was right for those rebels to fear me when their disgusting metal wands only hit air. As the last pharoah, I shall make Egypt great again!")

("Yeah, and what about ISIS?" added Mordred. "You saw the brief on this world's terrorist groups, right? They're the ones who did something so bad that in another timeline, the World sent a Counter Guardian against them. The new guy-that Archer, his mission was to kill them all. Well, he just did again. Our new Archer killed all the ISIS!")

(Diarmund frowned. It was true a lot of this world's kingdoms seemed unable to stand against the banditry rife in these lands. But even so... "This world may be flawed, but do we really have the right to conquer parallel Earths too? Tithe them for magical energy, recruit THEIR Servants for our war machine even as we exploit this one for all it's worth?")

(Mash inwardly begged someone, anyone, to punch Diarmund in the face)

("Right? Diarmund, this is WAR. No lady of the lake can ever GIVE you any right to rule. You just gotta take it" said Mordred, fist slammed into palm for emphasis. "I don't see the problem anyway. You were with me, on that world where those bloodsuckers overran the whole place. The one we had to purge. If our Master thinks he has the strength to hold a kingdom of planets together, I don't see anything wrong with protecting those that need it. And he's STILL summoning Servants, so I think that's a safe bet don't you?")

("I suppose" sighed Diarmund. "I just hope it's all worth it, in the end. Fergus told me they only stopped the Koreans from launching their ah...he called it a giant spear of the sun, if you can believe that, and it seems Karna wielded one of his own when he came to support them. But many died that day. Not as many as in Russia, but enough that Fergus thinks it his mistake. Oh, and America is imploding")

("Huh? I thought I was scheduled to attack that country, did it happen early? Am I late?!" asked Nitocris, panicking)

("No, it's just imploding. At least, that's what Lord Roosevelt told me on our last mission together")

("...okay then...")

("What do you think, Mashu?" said Mordred, noticing all too late the girl had sprinted down the hall into another wing of CHALDEA sometime during their conversation)

(He was back! HE WAS BACK! Bedraggled researchers flung themselves to the walls and trolleys were almost overturned as Mashu sprinted down the halls, honing in on a familiar magical signature. How DID he keep himself hidden from time to time? Questions for later, as she found him in what used to be Dr. Roman's office. For a moment, she guiltily wondered how the doctor was doing. She hadn't seen him since the assault on Avalon, and then he'd seemed really sad and quiet. It was hurt having at least one human she had no bad memories of, but she was sure he'd see the rightfulness of their mission in the end)

(Inside the room, the Caster Medea was wildly gesticulating at a screen depicting America, as the Gorgon napped on her own tail. Mashu threw them a worried glance, she had still not quite understood how Anon had managed to preserve his Servants from old Grail Wars beyond a vague notion that what she had always thought of as reality simply didn't apply to him. To the right, Karna was restraining a flabby, screaming frog person. To the left, Ishtar was swearing violently at the frogboy while a pale, naked man cried on the floor. Anon was scratching his head)

("For the last! Time! I! Do not want! To eat you!" screamed Ishtar at the pimpled frog person)

("REEE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Don't lie to me, I saw what you all did to Vivian James and my waifu! You gobbled them up like tasty tendies!" he retorted. "Thot! THOT DETECTED! TITS OR GTFO you fucking STACY! REEEEEEEEE!" he hollered, spasming as Karna effortlessly restrained him with one arm)

("Just let it happen, Pepe. Deep down, you know we were all born to die. What's the use in trying, if you can only make things worse for yourself?" whispered the man on the ground. Uncomfortably, Mashu noticed he had no genitals. "Just end your misery, and embrace sweet oblivion. It's all you can hope for. It's all any of us can hope for")

("I'm beginning to think throwing my clones and some memes into a Grail to see what comes out was a bit of a harsh gamble" mused Anon")

("You. You think? If you haven't noticed, the situation has gone CRITICAL!" shouted Medea. "We barely prevented All The World's Memes from fully incarnatingt by reyshifting that Grail into OUR America! And it's already found a suitable host!")

("Who cares? Humans are always drowning in their own mistakes anyway. Let them" suggested Gorgon. "I USED to be human, you know" snapped Medea)

("If I could just cut in for a moment" said Anon smoothly, "I want to say that technically, I achieved my primary goals here. That strange, fake Grail War is now irreparably in shambles, along with it's wordline. If you take a look at the collateral damage, you'll note some very important stockpiles belonging to the Church and Atlas have been smashed by rampaging Servants. And the partial meme eruption's dissipating some very healthy magical energy into the atmosphere, right next to this Mystery-starved chunk of Gaia at the heart of human civilisation. All I'm asking is that we take a look at the big picture before jumping to any conclusions")

("Okay. Okay, we can. We can shelve America's implosion for now" sighed Medea, wringing her hands. "Honestly, why do you even need the greatest mage of her era looking over your shoulder if you're going to do ridiculous things that break all the laws of magic over your knee anyway?")

("Why, the pleasure of your company of course. Also, I couldn't help but notice you're running low on mana". Anon suddenly drew her into a deep kiss, filling Mashu with killing intent. "Don't overwork yourself, alright? Oh, and we have company. Hi Mashu!")

("Nrghk" said Mashu, a mix of accusations and salutations choking her like a plague of frogs, as the Gorgon cackled at Medea's face when she noticed her audience. Nevermind the fact that Senpai was blatantly giving the...ascension rituals to other Servants, looking at his face was like watching the sun come up. The world visibly lit up around her, and an uncertian smile wobbled it's way across her face as she tried to think of something brave to say, and came up with "Iwangowityouonnamission!")

("Um. Mashu? Kid, you alright?" asked Anon, tilting his head in handsome concern, his beguiling confusion mingled with sexy bemusement. "Hey, none of that! Stay focused. There's not polite way to say this, but you seem a little more misanthropic than usual. What's up with that?")

(The Gorgon's eyes snapped open. "Wait, you didn't know?". "Didn't know what?" asked Anon, as he waggled Mashu back and forth. Mashu had to admit it made her feel better somewhat, despite the indignity; she didn't miss Ishtar's pining stare at not being waggled. "Our Mashu hates humanity now" said the Gorgon, languidly spreading her unfairly develloped body at Anon's feet. "Pretty sure it started when you put Beast particles inside of her. Might have something to do with you being the apoptosis of humanity or whatever, just a hunch". "Oh. Oh, crap" muttered Anon. "Shit, I'm sorry Mashu. I just wanted to give you some mana in a hurry. Okay, look at me. We can fix this")

("F-fix what senpai?" asked Mashu. Anon stared a while longer at her and slowly brought a palm to his head. "Oh dad help me, it's not even corruption. She chose this. Okay, just to check by the Waifu Compact that means I can't do anything about it right?". "Sounds like it" said Medea gravely, patting Mashu on the shoulder. "Sorry, kid. He likes your free will too much to un-humanphobise you")

("Hey but seriously, can I just...leave? Please? I still don't know what it is you people thought you needed a meme frog for, but it sounds like you really, really didn't" said Pepe the frog, going limp. "Also I'm really, really sorry about saying those things. To all you guys. I-I-I think I have those bad skills that make you sick in the head, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, WHY WOULD YOU LET ME BE BORN I'm so sorry!" he started crying, while shitting his pants. Karna seamlessly transformed his chokehold into a warm hug, and even Ishtar muttered "sure" with a little pity. But mainly disgust)

("Go for it. Godspeed, Pepe" said Anon "That goes for you too, Wojak". And without a backward glance, Pepe Naruto-ran from the room only to hit the door at the far end and fall down crying with a bloody nose. He looked up at Mashu and said "M-m-milkies?! MOMMY! MOMMY GIB MILKIES!" he shrieked, flailing wildly like a drowning man reaching for rope)

("I have no idea what you are talking about" said Mashu)

("Oh" Pepe deflated again. "W-well, it's a joke on the internet, haha, yeah I came up with it myself, I'm kinda famous. Uh. So you know, it's like, you know you gotthose, and mommies, they, ahaha, because e-celebs are jerks you know? I mean, I don't mean, but you know, when you're mommy, that means...")

(With a small smile, Wojak fireman carried him the rest of the way into a better place)

("I don't understand what's going on anymore. And that is NOT a proper state for any goddess" complained Ishtar. "Master, while I appreciate the offer of tribute, in the future please do NOT wake me up in my temple by telling me I need to eat all the spirits". "I may have hoped for better" said Anon, "but with the scale of what we're up against, you really must take every opportunity you have to empower yourself. I haven't finished assembling the other Beasts, we're still not ready for an assault on our enemy")

("You what?! After all the" she blushed "ascension rituals? After how powerful this vessel was made?! Yesterday I pushed heaven and earth together right on top of a hill! I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN MY FATHER NOW, ANON! How am I not ready?!?")

("Wait, don't you exist outside of causality?" asked Medea. "How aren't YOU ready?")

(Suddenly, a corpse fell through reality and broke it's neck on the floor. It was Anon's, and it had no head. The living Anon sighed. "Because" he began, hesitating. "Because...quantum?" said Karna, surveying the cavalcade of absurdities like a deer caught in headlights, an all too familiar feeling. "That's it, yeah"  said Anon gratefully.

(Mashu dimly realised she should have screamed, but was so numbed to all of this that right now only one thing mattered to her. "Senpai, please take me with you on your missions! I might not know what's going on, but you're-well, one of you-I mean" she faltered. "I'll fight any battle you want, but I'm sure I could be even better at keeping you safe!")

(Anon stared at her for a while. "You know not what you ask, Mashu. The remaining Beasts...I was putting off meeting them for a reason. A very, very good reason")

("Senpai, I...")

("But okay. I've done enough breaking people's hearts by telling them no for this iteration of reality. I was only going to take Ishtar but...if you really want to. You can come")

(And Mashu broke out in a wide smile. Everything was right in the world again)




>EVENT-Joan of War
>Advent Beast: An Evil of Man Manifests: Kiara




Fuck my life, everything was wrong in the world. And the way things were going, literally.

The good news! I knew this particular Beast! Intimately! AND THAT IS ALL THAT NEED BE SAID ON THE SUBJECT.

The bad news! I knew this particular Beast! Intimately! And she'd expect a helluva lot more knowing by the end of today! Also she appeared to have two sisters.

"Anon! Such a pleasure for you to drop in" coos Kiara, sidling up to me in attire entirely inappropriate to an ancient french battlefield. "I was just telling my counterparts about your...reserves. Your endowments. Your POTENCY. This is my spiritual sister from another mister, Kiara-R!"

"I don't remember agreeing to use those codenames. Ah, my own clone" breathes the other Kiara suddenly at my other ear, like a cuttlefish blending into a pacific octopus' flesh. "Now, no form of life will be a virgin! Unless your, ah, endurance lives up to her recollections. You see, I've been told intimate communion with you is the gateway to pleasure. Pleasure beyond anything this world has to offer"

"Hi, I'm Kiara-L and I don't know what's going on but I'd like to apologise for all of this" said the third Kiara, dressed like Sanzang would be if I were stupid enough to summon Sanzang into the same existence as Kiara. "I was just telling them about why they were wrong about, well, everything and now I'm apparently an Evil of Man? What's so evil about enlightenment and escaping the cycle of Nirvana?"

Nothing at all! It's just a nasty label used by nasty people I say, deftly slipping out of the Kiaras' grasping hands. And legs. Like a ripened squid slithering between a fisherman's hands.

"I have nothing against other religions, you understand" the third Kiara added. "It's just that theirs simply isn't Buddhism, as a matter of fact! Although for that matter, i don't remember being a cosmic bodhisattva when I went to bed last night. Well I say bed, but I was just on the run from those rough men of the cloth while saving people, and fell into a ditch. Next thing I know, I can feel the movement of the galaxy around me and" she hesitated, like a nautilus witnessing it's own reflection "...shoot lasers...when I meditate...? I know this sounds silly, but whenever I get in the lotus position this giant chakram appears behind me!"

Nah, I believe you! Behind me, one of the Kiaras is advancing on Mash, who is bravely blocking her with a castle door. The original Kiara is playfully allowing Ishtar to overpower her, like a giant squid taunting a baby whale. In hindsight, putting a super lustful goddess next to the Beast of Rapture may not have been a clever plan.

Okay girls, enough playing around. Your mission, should you choose to accept it and you DO, is to evacuate the French from here! As far away as you can take them, and then by the Command Seal I order Lord Camelot to stay up for as long as it needs to!

"But senpai, we can't leave you alone to deal with these...with these...why do I feel dizzy...?" groaned Mashu.

"He's right, we have to go! They're all powerful demons! Master, if I hadn't seen you fight those Grand Servants and win" said Ishtar, herself far more flushed but coherent "I would have hauled you away with no questions. But if you truly have a way to deal with these beings, well. Don't die! I WILL come back for you!"

Excellent. Wouldn't want you to miss the fun!

"Eh?" She squinted. "I'm sorry, for a moment there it was almost like you were implying you were going to defeat the Beasts by. Oh no. No, nonono not even you could, argh just. DON'T DIE, OKAY?!" she yelled over her shoulder, dragging a comatose Mashu onto her ship-bow before it fled into the distance.


"I must commend your force of will, young man. Those women, you know they are mara incarante right? Again, I bear them no malice but we can't just save souls by stuffing them into a vagina dimension! It's unhygienic!" said Kiara L. "Actually, if it's all the same to yo, I sense a soul marred by terrible suffering. Ah, but to abandon you..."

Go for it. This is gonna take a while.

"Oh don't worry my georgous cockblock of a duplicate, we won't have to eat anybody's soul" moans Kiara Prime, [CENSORED]ing herself like a vampire squid straining for particles of fish flesh. "Anon is the light and the way, and today you shall receive his holy sacrament. And the world will WATCH! Oh, and I have a little surprise for you"



"You see, my spiritual sister was afraid you might be too much of a man for any one Beast of Rapture!" purred Kiara Prime like a slug reflating itself from salt exposure. "Which is why she gave me these odd trinkets, to ascend to a level beyond even Heaven's Hole!"

Wait what? And with a clap of thunder, the two Kiaras fused into-

"THE LEGENDARY SUPER SLUT!"

Somewhere, the two French armies had ground to a halt at the distant thundering of thot particles. The Kiaras lunging. Mashu was mumbling happy thoughts even as she held her shield high. Ishtar was yelling at somebody and setting up a crude magical barrier. The remaining Kiara was singing magical sutras Buddhist sutras. And I was surrounded.

So I had to[CENSORED] with them, as the French [CENSORED] and then [CENSORED], Lancelot fleeing for the hills, over a misunderstanding. [CENSORED], [CENSORED] and [CENSORED] ensured, my Servants uncontrollable ascending as the [CENSORED] Excalibur [CENSORED] cheese [CENSORED] Joan tried to break it up, only for [CENSORED] and [CENSORED]. It was at that moment, that Astolfo declared he was a [CENSORED] upsetting many around him.

And with the foreplay over, things quickly devolved.

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED]

[DATA EXPUNGED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE]

A week later, the seas ran pink and red. The armies had long fled. Someone had punched yet another hole in reality that led to Avalon.

I found myself staring at a massive Mashu head the size of a mountain, slowly dissolving into sea foam. Next to me, Ishtar was on her knees. Transfixed by the sight. Or, I belatedly realised, just there because of the collar around her neck and the leather leash in my hand.

I coughed gently into my fist. She badly needed a bath, and the [CENSORED]s were still lodged inside of her. So, um. I trust the French civil war was resolved?

"Wha? Oh. Oh yes. No more fighting, that's what I told them!" she babbled, staring into the horizon. "Hahahahaaaa". Over the horizon, I noticed six nude, not-quite-as-giant Kiaras crucified but in a state of contented bliss. Wait, six? Oh right, things had gotten really kinky after we'd broken causality on the third day.

Behind us, Dantes came walking up the path. Unlike Kiara or myself, he was surprisingly not covered in bodily fluids of any kind. "I just had the strangest dream" he said. "I'd captured the queen of France because...I don't know. Why would I do that? But now, it's like the whole world's just come off my shoulders. I haven't felt so peaceful in years. Tell me, is this heaven?"

Nope. Still Earth! Well, you could think of it as a sort of purgatory.

"Ahhh, just my luck. This isn't so bad. I feel like I've slept a hundred years, no wonder it's a brave new world. And where are my manners?" He shook my hand with a flourish. "Edmond Dantes, at your service! Do call on me if you ever need my talents for convoluted revenge. Now if you'll excuse me, if I can find a decent cobbler I might still just be able to save my shoes"

And with that, he wandered off.




>Advent Beast: An Evil of Man Manifests: Amaterasu



"S-senpai? What HAPPENED?" whimpered Mashu, her legs trembling from her first ever spiritual reconstitution. From the bushes, Ishtar was alternating between cursing and pleading at every god she was familiar with, squatting low to [CENSORED] the last of the [CENSORED].

"What HAPPENED" yelled the goddess, "was that our master, in his infinite wisdom decided to walk up to not one, not two, but THREE Beasts of Calamity with open arms! And legs!". A pause, during which she moaned, unwanted sensations wracking her as she [CENSORED], followed by a frustrated screech when it ran down her legs-and onto the panties her feet. "Which apparently WORKED. I just. I don't know. I just don't know! And why are they following us?!"

"Oh, don't mind us" tittered Kiara L, the other two Kiaras leaning on each other for support and still on their knees, "We're just here to watch. I'm sure you're busy going to and fro the multiverse, redeeming other Beasts and fighting the Root. Still, a shame you couldn't stay for breakfast. I made waffles!"

Mmm. Waffles.

Mashu gulped, and hid behind me. From the bushes came a disbelieving "ohhhhhn noooooooo" folowed by Ishtar flinging on her clothes as she hobbled over. "Also nobody panic but another one just showed up. What am I saying. We're doomed. We're all doomed. Master, this may be the end. I just wanted you to know, after everything I finally realised l-l-lov-"

"Just tell me where the Beast is!" yelled Mash, while Ishtar breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's". Ishtar gawped at the sky. Hovering there was a massive fox woman wearing little other than a smug grin. She pulled off the Gwynevere pose almost as well as the Princess of Sunlight herself. "It's right on top of us".

Hi! I'm Anon, and I was wondering-

"I saw everything" said Amaterasu.

Oh. Everything?

"Eeeeeverything" she purred. "The moon, to be specific. From all those years ago right? I haven't really been keeping track of this time and age until now. But yes, I saw THIS too. I don't know what you think you're playing at , but it looks fun. I'm in"

...despite everything, I was still more embarrassed at how I'd won the Moon Cell Grail War than recent events.

It took a few minutes for Ishtar and Mashu to realise they were hugging each other, after which they both tried to pretend it hadn't happened.


>EVENT-Mt. Devil

Fifteen minutes later, we all came down the mountain again and the Lord was reunited with his son. He absentmindedly pat the boy on the shoulder, but both of them were transfixed with horror by the sight in front of them.

"He's mine!"
"No, he's mine!"
"Gerroff, he's mine!"
"I saw him first!"
"I saw him second!"
"I'm the closest to Ammy-sama and she's into him, that means I'm the closest to him!"
"Stop pulling my tail!"
"Stop biting my ears!"
"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP AND GO AWAY OR I'LL BRING THE CASTLE WALLS DOWN ON US ALL!"

The horde of Tamamos had been fighting over me all the way to the castle, and having come to a stop just encouraged them. Mashu held off three of four at a time (while also having blistering arguments about marriage; I was going to have to have a proper talk with the girl after this was all over), but the others kept darting around her to paw at me.

So! I shouted while fending off a particularly frenzied Tamamo, as you can see I have rescued your son! From the delightful, nurturing (this set off a lot of happy fox noises) embrace of the kitsune colony! Also we ran into your demon hunters, and I just want to say that we've resolved our differences peacefully, and they've agreed to give me full credit.

"...really?" asked the lord.

Really! I mean, it was technically true. Ammy hadn't struck any blows, they'd all just run for the hills at the first sight of her charming smile. Speaking of Ammy, she'd torn off the roof to smirk at the mortals within. Ishtar was perched on her head. After the shock, they'd found a shared joy in being smug at mortals.

"And. What about the...demon hordes...?"

Oh, I recruited them to my army.

"What"

Ah, don't worry about it! I'm conquering some parallel Earths but they're from the future, so you'll be long dead before I get round to yours!

The lord paled. He nervously stared at his country's sun goddess, expecting thhis sin to be punished by...why was he so afraid? Wasn't Amaterasu supposed to be a gentle goddess? So why did that woman fill him with the impending dread of a calf looking at a hungry tiger? He had to put it down to divine reverance. The instinctive knowledge that some aspect of Amaterasu was once designated a destroyer of humanity huddled deep in his subconciousness, unheeded.

Amaterasu playfully winked.

"Well. Um. Since you clearly have the" he choked on the word "favor of the sun goddess, I...suppose this bag of gold is the least I can do to show my..." he mumbled.

"You look delicious" said Amaterasu. "Nice and plump, like a fattened sow"

And then, the lord fainted right onto his son. Which I took as our cue to leave.




>Advent Beast: An Evil of Man Manifests: Manaka Sajyou



When I came out of the closet, the Beast was already wide awake and staring at the ceiling on her bed, a beaming smile on her face. Like christmas had come early.

Hi, little girl! I'm an interdimensional traveler, and I was wondering if you'd like to-

"-go on an adventure across the multiverse, even into universes where the Root doesn't exist? Where I won't KNOW everything?" asked Manaka. "Hell yeah! Take me, my glorious sunlight prince!"

...

...well, that was a new record.

She quickly backed me into a corner, pale blue eyes undressing me like a christmas stocking. It occured to me I hadn't had time to wash off all the thot-particles I'd acquired while [CENSORED] all the Kiaras, and they were a little too persistent to be easily evercleansed. Worse, Manaka was already visibly excited by that and my...natural magnetism. Slow down. Please, just...give me some personal space here kid. I don't want Chris Hanson to break in.

Hold on a minute, how did she know-

"-your thoughts? Oh, silly. We're connected" she breathed into an inappropriate height. "I don't know why you would want this connection, of all people"

If you know so much, you'll know the third member of our little trinity has much to answer for. I needed this to reach her, and once I do I will end her.

"You mean you don't know...oh, nevermind". I could tell she knew more, but cared little for what even as she clapped her hands in joy. "Mmm. You're cute when you're angry. Anyway, I do think it'll bore you to tears one of these days. But maybe this can be our little secret getaway, you and me. And weeeeeeeell, if you really want her dead, I might have a friend who can help!"

Something seemed to occur to her. "Oh! Of course, YOU must be the reason why he can come into being! I knew it, I knew that dream I had about the the world vanishing wasn't a dream!". She giggled. "Oh yes, I like you"

Wait, you said a friend. You mean...

>Advent Beast: An Evil of Man Manifests: Beast 666

Even as the words left me, there was a crash atop the roof as a seven-headed dragon's shadow fell across the stars. People screamed and ran in the distance, a triumphant roar echoing loud enough to shatter glass and crack walls.

"Isn't he adorable?" said Manaka. I had to admit, she was right.





>EVENT-No Mountain For Old Men



The first thing I did when coming to the singularity, was lose my head. When I stepped forth in a new body, the Old Man of the Mountains was carrying it. For a moment, there was silence as we eyed each other in that space between spaces. Ishtar and Mashu stumbled out of an interdimensional doorway, complaining about dimensional travel sickness. Manaka was poking the mist curiously, while the Beast had wondered off into the distance.

We watched it's confused roaring for a while after it got lost, Manaka having to run over and berate it for disobeying it's mother. The dragon of revelation silently pleaded for someone, anyone to save it from it's scolding.

"Thou art a most peculiar Beast, o unparalleled killer of men" intoned Hassan. "Thou bringeth ruin to the Human Order, yet restore it fully. Thou spiteth on God, yet do not sunder his works and labour ever to bring His light to the other Beasts. And yet, thou did lay a claim to the world. Thy judgement intrigues me. I invite you to vex mine students, that they too may be forged anew by thy advr'sity". His eyes flashed. "Or crushed by it. Either would be fitting"

I see. I trust there's no intention here of me succeeding you?

"The goddess did instructeth me to make t'offer. But I am the First of the Hashashim. She knows not of my duty, and I see thou hast not the hubris to presume that much"

Fair enough. I can work with this.

And work I did. From world to world within that nested singularity, I guided and trained and encouraged each of the Old Men in the ways of killing folk, to their confused gratitude. Like a fairy godfather of killin' folk. I couldn't help but notice Mashu was furiously taking notes in the background. Manaka usually wandered off to try the local delicacies, dance on her lonesome-and sometimes, I'd have to drag her away from throwing virgin girls into a Grail. But sometimes, she'd add tips of her own. Badly scaring True Assassin Hassan by sneaking up on him. And Ishtar quietly tried to start a cult to herself, when the Original Hassan wasn't looking.

It could have been months. It could have been weeks. But when all was done, the 19 Hassans stood proud and successful in front of the original Old Man. Hassan of Serenity held my hand tightly, dreading the collapse of the singularity that would senparate us forever. Mashu had excused herself to scream and punch a wall somewhere. Ishtar was sulking in a corner at how popular "that jumped up Hebrew superstition" had proven.

"Thou art good as thine word, Beast" said the Old Man. It would appear-"

"-hold, o great founder" said Hassan of Intoxicated Smoke. "Why are there NINETEEN of us?"

No Name Hassan waved, shyly. The others groaned.

"Oh, not her! Why did it have to be HER? Anon, could she not have been one of YOUR targets?"
"She's going to start praying any moment now. I know we are the dark shadows of God's wrath and everything, but she's just creepy! Somebody stop that madwoman!"
"What's wrong with her? Is it contagious? Nevermind, she can't see me from here! Nobody talk to me, I don't even exist!"

"Though I have carried out my assassination successfully, I see I am still not faithful enough" said No Name Hassan. "I shall strive to blah blah faith blah blah righteousness blah blah blah"

Hassan of the Echoing Voice had finally had enough of her, and activated his Noble Phantasm. Even as she blah blah blahed, she still tried to pray on the spot. The other Hassans shuffled their feet.

Original Hassan just stared. "Who is this woman who aspires to be a Hassan, and why hast thee not told me about her?"

The Hassans mentally drew straws. It seemed Hundred Faces drew the short one, and he replied "Because she is a disturbed and empty soul with lethal delusions of grandeur, fabricating our hard earned Zabaniya techniques, SOME OF WHICH DID NOT EXIST WHILE SHE WAS ALIVE, in a matter of years! All of which took us LIFETIMES to learn! In the era our mentor hails from, I believe they call this sickness...autism"

Original Hassan tilted his head. "Well, she doth sound very talented. I seeth not the problem, whyfore can she not qualify?"

"Founder, she HATH NO ORIGINAL TECHNIQUE of her own!".

"It is true" added the woman, "in my lifetime, I have never innovated a killing technique worthy of an angel".

"There, she admits it!"

"But" she added, "thanks to Anon's tutelage I have created my own Zabaniya: Delusional Delusion. In battle, it-"

"NO!" shrieked Hundred Faces, as the other Hassans planted their faces in their palms. "WHY, ANON? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Enough" rumbled Original Hassan. He stared at his bickering successors. He stared at me. He stared at the two Beasts frolicking in the fog. "It occurs to me that, as this woman hath never attained the mantle of Hassan, she is not bound by our ways. Yet this fleeting world will collapse soon, and beyond our order she hath no place in the world. Beast, if thou art willing I would retain her services to you"

Sure thing. The truly nameless Hassan bowed wordlessly to me, while the others breathed sighs of relief. Except for Serenity, who was balling her fists.

"And Serenity" he added. "On review, thine performance was insufficient. Didst thou not resort to crude blows instead of your fabeled poison?"

"No, Founder please-" but the blade was already swinging down. Killing the concept of the poison that surrounded her.

"Thus, do I end your sign as a Hassan" he declared. "And thus, you too are free to enter the Beast's service"

I patted her on the head. She had engaged hug mode.

Hey Old Man, are you going to be okay? After the singularity collapses, and all. I can give you guys a lift back to your home worlds if you like.

"No need. 'Twas always my intention to use that woman's folly to redeem the legacy of the Hashashim. While thou hast been occupied, I have severed the ties of fate that will erase these moments"

Mashu, mind checking?

"Huh? R-right, yes the current database at Chaldea shows no recorded failure by the Old Men on record"

With a few sober cheers, the Hassans faded into the mists of time. The Old Man called for me as I prepared to trek through them.

"Beast. Knoweth thou not thine foe, that hast beguiled you with these transient worlds, is innocent of thine grudge?"

I halt.

Look back in time to my meeting with Manaka, into her mind fully. That's a lie. I hadn't gotten round to mastering that Connection properly what with everything I was occupied with in the present, but.

WHAT?

"'Tis not something thou wilst believe. Tis not even something I would have known, had I not seen the true shape of your black history in another world after it's dissolution and recreation. Thou art at the last singularity, where she will reveal herself. If thou still hath mercy in thine hateful heart, be prepared for anything"

"Even forgiveness"


(In the days that followed, she finally realised how far beyond them all Senpai truly was. In the present all the Beasts had been assembled. From her point of view Senpai had a series of quests she accompanied him for, but he was only doing so to maintain the validity of this timeline, and from her point of view it had already been addressed. She still believed her efforts had let this happen. She had to, even when she didn't remember some of the Beasts who had arrived)

(Mashu found Dr. Roman sitting at a window, after what felt like a lifetime. The Beasts of Rapture had never truly laid a hand on her, and yet simply being in their presence had felt violating on a level she couldn't quite articulate. Her knees were still trembling, and she sweated like she was running a fever. The tightnees of her outfit made her uncomfortably excited, and when she dared not sleep after the dreams she'd had)

(But by the rawness of his eyes, she knew that at least her late nights weren't spent alone)

("Oh, hello Mashu. I've heard you've been come a long way" he said, warmly and with no trace of resentment. Though he did look a shade perturbed. "Is that the new combat uniform?")

(She blushed. "Actually, it's...what the old combat uniform turned into after my last, um, ascension. Before it I was brought before the Third Beast, and I think being exposed to it made, um, nevermind. It's, well, tight, but somehow it is easier to fight in. And, and it makes me feel closer to Senpai" she added, smiling. Senpai had offhandedly told her who Dr. Roman was, and she felt no need to be embarrassed)

("As long as you're happy. I think he and I can agree on that much". Roman sighed, looking out the window. "It's strange, I used to think of this place as practically a second home. But it's his now, isn't it? I shouldn't be ungrateful, officially I still hold my post but. I had so many hopes for this place. I've finally covered all my old friend Marisbilly's accounts and suffice to say, I do not begrudge a change in leadership. Yet I never thought I'd see the day come when Heroic Spirits would turn against humanity")

("They're not turning against humanity at all, they're saving it from themselves" said Mashu earnestly. Surprisingly she hadn't felt very conflicted about this particular hurdle: Roman (if he wanted to keep calling himself that, and she had absolutely no grudge against seeking a new life even if she did feel it was an inferior one) simply hadn't sat in on the strategem discussions with Senpai and his followers. "You'll understand, when every world is purged of suffering by human and spirit hands. When all the bad people learn to do better, and the monsters die in their holes. When nobody is a hero, everyone will be")

("It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Even I have to admit that. And I...can't bring myself to challenge him, after what I've seen" said Roman softly. He leaned forward, earnestly holding Mashu's gaze. "And I understand how much he means to you. But please, Mashu. The world may not be perfect, but there is still hope in what men can do. I still believe that. I think, yes, I think even Anon believes that, deep down")

(Mashu looked down. "I lost my faith in humanity already, sir. I believe in Senpai, and that's enough. And he hasn't asked me to believe in humanity. But I think he wants me to decide, not him. It would be easier if these heroes weren't all such idiots" she complained")

("Well, I sympthasise fully" declared Goetia, striding into the room in all his demonic glory. "Forget that milksop. Our glorious leader, the 8th Beast, has announced his -no. Our enemy is one seal away from vulnerability. The final battle awaits!")

("Goetia" said Roman, and the demon froze, his fists clenching)

("Enough of you. When we finally make Magic redundant with everything else, your deeds will truly lose all meaning" snarled the demon. "I have a new king! One who has educated me to your true third Noble Phantasm, and blessed me with a vision of time that it shall not dessicate what I have seized! There is nothing left to be said between us, just languish in your apathy until you drown. Some of us have worlds to save!")

("I never got the chance", said Roman, "to tell you how sorry I am. Even after everything, I want you to know I should have done more to teach you your purpose. And that I am grateful to our newest recruit, for succeeding where I failed")

(Goetia froze. "F-far too little too late!" he croaked. "Should HE wish to claim your title as King of Magic, I will support him too! Nothing you can say will change the past!")

("Then, if you are so loyal to the him, and you share use of my eyes, I must ask. Why have you not told him, that his foe is". Roman hesitated, trying to put it to words. "Not his foe?")

(The demon stared at Mashu, as if it should have mattered to her. In the end, Senpai would judge all their deeds and the righteous had nothing to fear from him. Goetia was certainly very righteous, so she was sure he would be forgiven. "I too know, the pain of seeking an end no other wishes for because it is beautiful in my eyes" he finally said. "And I also know I would not have forgiven even him had he tried to oppose me. I think the princess of the Root knows too, and finds it amusing. I am not so cruel. I simply trust in our master to make the right decision in the end, once his rage and grief run their course")

("In other words" said Roman, surprised and happy "you think it's worth it, even though it's futile?")

("This old argument. Fine, I concede, but because of HIM not you! Is that what you want to hear?")

("I hear the wisdom of one who at lasts understands humanity" said Roman. Only now, did Mashu notice his demeanor had been becoming more impressive along with his magical energy. "Goodbye, my creation. I'm proud of you")

("I never sought your pride, only...what does it matter now" whispered Goetia. "But yes, this is goodbye. Doctor.")

(And as they left, looking behind her Mashu saw Dr. Roman filling in another form. It was just another piece of paperwork in Chaldea's day to day operations. But looking at his dedication to it, Mashu at last felt some nostalgia for the humanity she had committed herself to leaving behind)

(She promised herself: She would keep up with senpai this time)



>EVENT-The Emiya Family

I didn't have time to mess around in this singularity. Besides, I had already recruited the other Beasts.

My companions quelled from my emergent hate. Except Manaka. She looked a little too excited. Somewhere under the boiling vengeance, I felt vaguely relieved the Kiaras had returned to Chaldea to coodinate the conquest on infinite Earths instead of being here to egg me on.

Ishtar distracted the Emiya Shirous (she never did quite understand why they'd had a heart attack, and put it down to being struck by beauty. Which wasn't entirely inaccurate) while Mashu secured the Greater Grail long enough for me to purify Angra Mainyu back into a human form. As I bustled into aciton, Manaka urged the 6th Beast to help; the dragon plunged into the Greater Grail to replace it's source of magical energy, and with my power over miracles I used it to mend those broken by the war. The Counter Guardians' contracts were snapped, the nameless heretic took on Irisviel's pains to relieve her as I once again passed the evil-buck from him into oblivion, Kirei and Caren were given meanings in life, the suffering in Amakusa's past was erased along with his motivation to save all humanity. And across time and space, the Emiya siblings were empowered to end the war bloodlessly, beating the truth of it's futility into the faces of desperate mages.

Also Maiya was there. Probably?

That's what a miracle was, I thought. Enough energy. Enough POWER, and you could save everyone. If only you knew how. But that was all there was to it. That, and the will to act. I could never a hero, but there was a monstrosity in heroism I felt myself exulting in.

"Is that truly what you believe?" said Ryougi, descending from the shattered remains of the Greater Grail. "You and I now share a unique vantage of the World"

(The first blow is simply a punch. A punch hard and fast enough to break the fabric of space-time, delivered from an iteration of myself from another universes)

Die.

(Her blade of light falls. My everdistant utopia swalows up the distance between us, repelling it)

"You're still fighting me, huh? I have to admit, as a swordswoman I've long been surpassed. Without the shadow of this vessel, how could I hope to compete?"

DIE.

(A single ray of light, twisting into itself. I have her now; spiral locks with blade)

"You've done this too many times already. You've made your point, and I think I've made mine. Will you listen to-urgh" she groans, as I kick her in the stomach hard enough to blow a hole in the atmosphere behind her. The ground cracks. But the Root herself reverses the damage as quickly as it hapens-even in the face of the concepts I'm empowered by.

This is the last singularity, Ryougi. I'm done playing this game. Nowhere left to run.

"Running? I'm not the one who ran off to make friends in the middle of battle" she retorted. "You dense excuse of a deific being, has it ever occured to you-"

NOW. This was a mere shadow of the Grand Saver. I have less than a second to anticipate it, as across all those endless possibilities the Void suddenly brings all of herself to bear against the light of my judgement. "Hypocrite" she breathed "I can feel you inside of me. Invading me. Using me for your own selfish desires. It must disgust you, being inside of the woman you think cut down your sister like dirty offal"

Oh Ryougi, you naive little ABERRATION. (I'm too bright to be mistaken for human. Our powers have been focused into these human vessels, but our blows still carry all our strength and passion. I know this, as I finally struggle directly for dominance over the Root with her). The difference between you and me? The reason why I will ALWAYS win, no matter what Heroic Spirit's man-skirts you cower behind?

It's because I don't fight monsters like a hero. I fight monsters, BY SURPASSING THEM IN MONSTROSITY. If that monster is a hero, then I will protect my brethren by shackling the human spirit to mine. And now, after reaching throughout the Human Order I am complete! That which is lauded, those exalted as the pinnacle of Heroic Spirits, through me is there legend given form. In my quest, I have become their unreachable apotheosis! I AM THE BEAST OF PROMISED VICTORY!

(My Noble Phantasms aren't even at full power yet, and her eyes widen with apprehension at the new heights of power I've achieved. Spirals of light force their way past her guard. My paradise swamps her like waves, cancelling her concept long enough to get some lasting hits in. She's on the ropes. She's spitting blood)

"Wait!" she hissed. "Damn it, you have to listen. You just-fuck, I shouldn't have held off so long. You have to-"

THAT'S RIGHT! YOUR KIND ALWAYS PLAYS WITH YOUR FOOD, DOESN'T IT?

By the power of the Command Seal, I summon my Servants! All of you, across space and time, heed my call and MAKE WAR UPON AKASHA!

It...wasn't as dramatic as I'd hoped. Sure, flashes of light dumped hundreds upon hundreds of Servants in Fuyuki City. But half of them didn't even know who they were supposed to be attacking, and started asking each other questions. The half that knew they were supposed to be fighting a single woman were even more confused, and the few among them vicious enough to go through with it were cut down in quick succession.

It did achieve the intended outcome: Strengthening the Human Order in the local region. And giving the Beasts an opening to tear into Shiki's stolen Saint Graph.

First came Goetia's attack. Bands of light appeared around the planet, and like a conductor the wove a seal of transcendant complexity that trapped Ryougi in one place and time.

It wouldn't hold her forever. But as Tiamat gushed from a portal-a chaos tide, no goddess to stab-it wouldn't have to when Ryougi was melting.

She had wanted to spare the planet, but in a panic reached for her Noble Phantasms. Now Primate Murder advanced on the prone Root, channeling his Force of Providence to neutralise hers. The Noble Phantasms slipped further and further from her grasp, the possibilities for those spiritrons to incarnate simply not existing anymore.

I struck through the Kiaras-but not at Ryougi. A gate had almost been opened into the Root, and blasting it open with multiple Heaven's Holes' energy left the very Void itself paralysed. Part of the lust current ran through myself as well, but I was well accustomed to it. The Void screamed as violet light ravished her from the inside.

Here came the sun. Amaterasu's wrath fell upon the battlefield, flames incinerating Ryougi's Noble Phantasms. She had ceased fighting altogether, and I exulted knowing the remaining Beasts wouldn't even have to contribute at this rate.

But she was still the Void. Still heir to the highest of concepts. Staggering to her feet, desperate, in fear (just like I once was. As I will see the Crawling Chaos debased, one day). In hindsight, when had she EVER had to learn that you could play a strong hand poorly?

She backed away, and bumped into Manaka behind her. Above them, the 6th Beast roared in expectations of a kill. "Oh my, that felt sooooo good" Manaka cooed into her ear. "Hi, you don't know me. You really should have. But my boyfriend really, really doesn't like you. So do me a solid, and die for me. Please? I really, REALLY want to impress him. I'll kill you quickly if this does it"

"Dating...underaged...Roots?" gurgled Ryougi. "You truly...have...no standards...do you?"

Boyfriend? Under any other circumstance, I'd be appalled. But NOTHING will distract me from a victory millennia in the making.

Ryougi-no. The Void is once more reduced to a mere slip of a girl. Helpless before Servants, let alone Beasts. No more words, the supernal fire lights up my hand as I prepare to end my nightmare forever. Desperate, in more pain than she has ever known, the Void too unsheaths her final weapon.

A Command Seal? Oh. Oh, this is rich. The almighty Root, CALLING FOR HELP! Nobody will come for you, princess! This is a bad dream, and you're never waking up!

"Damn. This is it" she choked out. "Didn't want to use...this...but this is...the end of our...struggle". She shuts her eyes in concentration.

I can't help it any longer. I laugh like a supernova.

(Manaka is shredding her Magic Circuits. With all my angelic might, I am inhibiting her connection to the Root. The Void bites her lip until it bleeds, but her very spiritual core bleads magical energy from the torture. Suffer. Suffer. Suffer. SUFFER)

I watch her struggle to activate the Command Seal.

(You deserve this)

Her fingers clench, she finally sheds a tear as they spasm too hard to properly activate.

(I could snuff out your last hope in an instant)

Why do I wait? Why do I watch her choke on her own blood, but fight through the pain?

Why do I /want/ to know, what she could possibly bring to bear?

"I can stop her, Anon" said Manaka. Now Ryougi thrashes in earnest.

(You are at my mercy)

...

(Yes, that's it. You are at my mercy, so I can afford to know this)

Manaka. I want to see this. Don't let your guard down.

"Hehe, okay!"

Ryougi stares at me as the pain relents. She raises the command seal. Blood gushes from her eyes as her ruined magic circuits finally flicker into position, and-

-Asagami Fujino stood before me. In the Caster class.

No. Not a mere Servant, it's-!

"Please. That's enough, don't do this" she begged.

"Don't trust her" said Mashu, advancing by my side. "Servants always lie about their past. Senpai, from what you've told me this woman could be powerful enough to create simulacrae of people you know"

"It's her soul. I did go all the way back to the boundary, once. I. Found her soul. Could never bring it with me, across those worlds" Ryougi slumped against a tree, broken in soul and body. "Took me a while to put all the pieces together. You wouldn't have listened to me anyway. You probably think this is a hostage. It's not. I just want to go home"

You had EVERY opportunity to go home and STAY gone!

"But I had to come get Mikiya. Or avenge him" she whispered.

"It's me" sobbed my sister, "I don't know how I can prove it to you, but. That peaceful place in the woods! We met there, remember-eep!"

I throw my arms around her.

Yes, I remember. I'd know this soul anywhere.

You. Talk. Now.

"Where to start?" said Ryougi, composed even on the verge of death. "That when you emerged from outside our world, it was a good year BEFORE any harm could come to dear little Fujino-chan over here? That since you dealt with that idiot Araya, I'd have no reason to raise my blade to either of you? I'm not surprised you don't want to remember the sequence of events, but has it ever occured to you to think back on them. And realise they would make no sense for us, US, to have ever met?"

You're the Void. I assumed our battle distorted causality, and memory with it.

"And why ever would I do that, when I just want to return to nothingness" she groaned. "How often did you meet me then, outside of battle? We had no reason to talk. You had less than no reason to read my mind. So look at hers, now she's had a chance to see the big picture"

Fujino?

"Yes. Please, it's okay"

(I see suffering. Desperation. Death. This is the old history, the one before I remade it entirely. Preserved forever in a soul's memories. There, an image of her. She turns, the blade falls, wait. I don't remember this. Her shadow is pooling with)

(-TENTACLES)

Nyarlathotep.

"It was painless. I was only worried, for your sake" whispered Fujino. "Ryougi-san told me you can exist independantly of your own timeline. So you could have undone everything from that moment. Even though that nightmare's long gone, I want you to know, I'm grateful you didn't"

I never would. What happened, HAPPENED dammit. You're family. You will always BE family, no matter what I become.

...

...and now, you have to go. (She was fading)

Her smile was wobbly, but sincere. Just as I'd remembered it. "I'm a Servant, after all! And you've granted my one wish. You can always find me in the hereafter. You can do anything, so please don't ever give up like that. But I would really like to rest for a while now"  She gripped my hands. "This isn't goodbye. I'll see you later, I know I will!"

And then she was gone.

The Void cleared her throat. "He did more than take my form on occasion, you know. He's the one who merged the timeline you were in with one where I grew up with Mikiya. Unevenly. Roughly. Not just places, memories too. And the reason why you never even MET the native successor of the Ryougi clan in that world, because I'm not that girl. I was the Ryougi Shiki from a few years in the future. And a hundred worlds away"

"He set me adrift too. Knew I could shatter his machinations, but he couldn't help himself. Wanted. Hah, wanted to see us fight, I think"

"Whispers in my ears. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't go back to the Root. Cut my way out of the timeline, and he stuffed me right back into this one"

"Kept telling me the town was full of monsters. Didn't care, that pissed him off. Tried to make his toying with you have casualties. Finally he just pushed me into an alley with a scared girl who knew how to use her powers, but never in a fight. Saw a strange swordswoman, panicked. She didn't know what she was doing and..."

The whole world is silent. Every Servant can feel the intensity of my shock.

"...and, neither did I" Tears welled in her eyes. "Do you finally get it? That boy you killed, I never met him! I didn't know him! But you've always hated things like us for not caring, and if it took me this long to say it. I love him. Even if he's not MINE. I've always loved...him, not his Origin"

The blade clatters from the Void's hands. "I don't think you care for my apology, but you need to know I never wanted your sister dead. I just wanted you to know, we both got played"

"Senpai, wait, I..." Even Mashu had a doubtful look on her face. She looked just as lost as I felt.

"I know him. He's not going to change his mind. But thanks for trying" She shut her eyes. "And as for you, I don't care what you do anymore. I only wish you'd make it quick"

How little you know of me, then. The Warehouse springs into being a foot away. Reaching into it, I pluck something small and bright from a pod. Bringing it to the world, I materialise it gently; her eyes widen. It's a familiar face, with a bowl cut and pale blue eyes behind thick rimmed glasses. Sleeping.

"But how? You, you showed me, you said you lost him somewhere even you couldn't remember! That world with the flying man!"

His name's Kal-El, wretched thing. And I'm the god of his world now. Make no mistake. I hate what you represent. I hate what I will have to become to match anything like you that might emerge in the future but. And honestly? You're a pretty terrible person overall. Almost as bad as I am.

(Damn it. Damn it all to hell)

But. I can admit when I'm wrong.

"So I take it, we're not throwing her in a Grail?" asked Manaka.

No, we are not.

"...well then". More gently than I could imagine her ever being, struggling through a near death experience, Ryougi Shiki took the sleeping man from my arms. "I suppose this is how our grudge ends. I would say this is goodbye, but my curse is now yours"

Leave this world. Go to the farthest end of possibility that your stolen power can take you, where I can scarcely see your existence. Or go home. Either way, we're done here. But I have a Human Order to rule, and your very existence is a liability.

She nodded. Hesitating, she was about to say something. Something well intentioned and nostalgic, that would have upset both of us had she said it out loud. But she was wiser than I'd given her credit for, and didn't. Then she was simply....gone, the tattered remnants of her Saint Graph crumbling even as she left the singularity behind.

The Beasts looked upon me, with pity. I knew now, that some of them knew and others inferred. It hurt. It hurt more than it should have, after all the time we'd spent together. Behind them, the Servants were milling in confusion with nothing to fight. It was time to go home before the singularity collapsed.

"...senpai?" I turned back to look at Mashu, and froze. She was completely dejected.

"Senpai, I-I need to know. Did you ever even need us?"

I pulled her into a hug. And from across mere space and time, I summoned Ishtar for a hug too. She let out a surprised squeak.

Of course I'd needed them.














(Many weeks later)




















(That night, I dreamed I was falling into infinite darkness. The light was a pale, blue dot far in the distance, and high above the abyssal VOID I was alone in. My fall slowed until I scarecely felt movement, but never stopped. It was so damned beautiful. Like being under the ocean at night, and watching waves crash over the moon)

(I am the master of my own mind at all times. My sight is a becon of supernal fire that pierces all falsehoods. So I knew exactly why I should have hated everything about this. But I didn't. Did I ever have a good reason to? The world was quiet here)

("You'll get bored of it too, one day" said a voice. An all too familiar one. "Knowing the underlying structure of everything. Being able to do it all, as long as you have the energy and the skill. Travelling to every corner of existence like it's your own backyard. It will imprison you. Make you want to lash out, scream to be heard")

("I thought I told you to stay away" I said, and was only mildly surprised that here and now, I did not thunder unquestionable commandments that burned themselves into reality. I just sounded like a man talking into a tin bath. The woman in front of me wasn't wearing a kimono anymore, but a red jacket and blue skirt. I wondered how many levels of reality we were even on, at that moment)

("I am" said Ryougi. "We're just talking. You're the only one who thinks like I do out there in all the worlds")

("Manaka's back at Chaldea. We're seizing the means of civilisation. Being responsible cosmic entities. It's a little beyond your comprehension, I know")

("Hey, I'm not the one who trashed the Human Order in the first place. And I'm not counting the brat. What do you even see in her? She's worse than I ever was")

("She cares" We were level with each other now, under the pale blue thing that was not a sun. "Every Beast cares, in their own way. You? This was always just a dream for you, until I made it a nightmare")

("Nyarlathotep made it a nightmare" she retorted)

("Whatever you say. I'm surprised you haven't killed yourself and that boy, so you can spend eternity together. King and queen shit of void mountain, that's what you are")

("You said I didn't care. It's true, I want to go more than anything. But is it really that hard to believe I couldn't learn?")

(I wanted to wake up. She looked like she wanted me to keep talking. There was no room for obfuscation here, the void left things plain as they could be. "Why does it even matter? You can't fight me, and I don't want to fight you anymore. I know part of you loved to fight. Kill. Whatever excuses you make. You were fighting to kill from the very beginning, don't lie")

("I won't. You were an excellent opponent, and you took someone very important to me away for so long. And you know, I'm also jealous? Every time I fought you, I went somewhere I didn't have all the answers. I've seen things I could never have believed in. Magic that can't exist in this reality, things that exist beyond Mystery's banality. But I have to fight, and kill, just to see it all again. And you, you've had it all..." she trailed off.

("She took a few steps towards me, and I prepared to fight. Without the Saint Graph of a Grand, it wouldn't even be a battle. She sighed. "No, this isn't a threat. It's just...")

(Silence in the void. Was it getting brighter? She looked me in the eye. Where flames burned in my eyes, there was only void in hers. "I need to know. For his sake. How do you do it? How can you still care, after all these years? After everything you've become?")

(The light was everywhere now. I knew I was about to wake up; Ryougi jogging to keep up as I floated into the white dot. She looked lost. I wanted to keep her hanging)

(Instead, I just said "You could have asked my sister. You didn't")

(She stopped. Not quite a smile on her face, but she said "Ah. So it's like that?")

("You ask stupid questions. As expected of an Outer God")

("You're one to talk. Wait, don't you know?")

(...what?)

( "Call this my parting shot, then. I will tell you something you will know to be true, at this time and in this place: You missed something important")

(Irrelevant. The Human Order's future is secured, all else will follow)

("Then you haven't looked far enough. Why do you think Nyarlathotep even came here?". She's really enjoying whatever this ruse is. "Oh yes, the key has become the gate, and soon they'll look upon your works. All of those...foreigners. When that day comes, you'll be glad your NEW FRIEND loves you very, very much. And who knows?" she adds, laughing, "Now that I think about it, how long have you been fighting? Are you sure she hasn't always?")

(I'm tired of her prattle. I'm tired of everything to do with her, really. I head for consciousness in earnest)

(She reached out one last time. "It's a shame, you know. In another life, I think we could have been-")

And then I woke up.