Skaiza

I'm just gonna get this off my chest.

Skaiza and I started taking in 2018, shortly before Ultimate came out. Our conversations always seemed casual in nature. I made it clear to him that I was a 17-year-old high school senior at the time. He was 22.

Our relationship could best be summed up as two friends who practiced together and confided in each other, with obvious romantic overtones that looking back were highly inappropriate. From reading through old messages, Skaiza had a pattern of prodding and testing his boundaries in the form of negging jokes - saying things like "I thought we were friends" and feigning worry at every slight against him. In retrospect, I'm unsettled by his behavior, even if things never escalated much between us. Whenever I called him out, it was always jokingly - because that's how it felt. It was always just joking, back-and-forth. I mean, I was 17 at the time. Closer to 17 than 18, but still. That's practically legal, right? I always made excuses.

We were friends at most and I made that clear to him, but he definitely seemed to take an interest in me. We talked often. I opened up to him fairly quickly about some things going on in my life - I tend to be overly trusting of people, and it's landed me in bad spots sometimes. He helped me with everything that plagued me, from homework to mental issues, even some of my darkest fears and anxieties. I revealed a lot to him, from my full name to my birthday to what I look like - he even found out my height somehow.

It was obvious to both of us that he was into me, even though I rejected his advances. He always wanted my attention. He made comments about me being "mature for my age." For a while, he was kinda pushy about watching a show together, and I eventually relented. I mentioned once that I was debating an outfit for a class presentation, and he pressured me into sending pics of it. Hell, he was the one that helped me come up with my tag...

I don't mean to make a big deal out of this. I know there's others that have been hurt more by him, and I can't help but feel like I'm taking away from their stories. But if anything, the fact that Skaiza did worse with others is telling - it means that I, as an almost 18 year old, was not of interest to him. Every story needs to be heard.

I'm so sorry for everyone he hurt, and for everyone else who has been hurt. We don't deserve this.