[Rose] ==>: Provide Moral Support

TG: sup rose

TT: Nothing much. Sitting awake and contemplating the weight of my mortality, so you know... the usual.
TT: What about you?
TT: Sup with you?

TG: nothing much, drinking some aj, you know, the usual

TT: I meant more why are you up this late but your answer is probably the same as mine
TT: Some sort of non-committal hand wave and a 'ehh' noise.

TG: cant sleep, too much on my mind

TT: I'm actually surprised you're thinking hard enough to lose sleep over. I'm impressed, good job :P
TT: What's up? Do you want to talk about your feelings?

TG: thinking about confessing to someone, and just the lack of sleep ive had due to nightmares. contemplating on why im having nightmares

TT: Oh
TT: Wow I wasn't expecting an actual answer let me sit up.

TG: you offered to listen so im expressing them

TT: Yeah but I offer all the time and then you, in your typical cool kid style, tend to blow me off with some sort of radical irony or some dank meme.

TG: i mean yeah
TG: but this time i actually need help with confessing
TG: youre good with this shit

TT: I'm sorry you've been having nightmares. I was really into dream theory a few months ago if you want me to pick those apart, but I feel like the nightmares are kind of second fiddle as compared to the real meat of the situation.
TT: Who were you thinking of telling?

TG: have a guess
TG: its kinda obvious
TG: i think

TT: I mean I already know it's John but I'd like to hear it from you so I'm not just psychoanalyzing you while you're trying to genuinely be vulnerable.

TG: heres where i would say youre right
TG: but

TT: Oh? A twist?

TG: youre wrong

TT: Shocking!
TT: I don't believe you but please, go on.

TG: im serious here
TG: i surprisingly dont like john in that way
TG: it is a shocker now that i think about it

TT: Okay so if John's off the table that leaves 1.5 other candidates that likely don't already think you're flirting with them in some way. I can either keep running the gambit or you can use your big boy words and cut out the agonizing guessing process where I may or may not throw out names just to tease and fluster you because I can't control myself.

TG: please dont tease me
TG: got a shit load of teasing from bro the other day

TT: Or, hypothetically, we can collaboratively craft your confession while I'm left completely in the dark.

TG: hes now uncool

TT: I was going to say 'only now?' but that's a little harsh. He does have cool shades.

TG: how about you take another guess? im sure youll guess correctly
TG: thats the only cool thing about him now

TT: It's me. Honestly I'm flattered, Dave, but we both know that I'm only attracted to women.
TT: That joke sucked, I'm sorry.

TG: and im not into women, that narrows down your guesses

TT: Damn, Jade was my next guess.

TG: damn, really?

TT: Oh woe is me, clueless and helpless at ass'o'clock in the morning, my brain is a quivering pile of mush and wizard fanfiction.
TT: No not really.

TG: its karkat, im gonna confess to him

TT: What? Really??? Karkat!??!? I'm absolutely gobsmacked!!! That came out of NOWHERE!
TT: No but really, I'm glad you're finally going to tell him.
TT: It was kinda obvious.

TG: hush
TG: i know it was obvious
TG: but not obvious enough for him aparently

TT: That's because you're attracted to idiots. I think it's called 'morosexual'.
TT: I'm sure he'll take it fine. The two of you grossly flirt bicker all the time.

TG: he may be an idiot, but hes a cute idiot

TT: It borders on the obscene, Dave.
TT: How do you want my moral support? Do you want like... a 'go gettem, tiger' kind of pep-talk, or do you want me to proof read your undying confession?

TG: any type of moral support would be fine
TG: just no proof reading
TG: i dont want to be teased

TT: I can really, really, REALLY try to cut out the teasing if you want me to look something over. Matters of the heart when they're direct and not just friendly harassments are serious business.
TT: Did you write him something sappy? Or is it cool-kid trademarked Dave style

TG: cool kid style
TG: im not going sappy
TG: not yet

TT: Good, I was going to say that going full romantic right off the bat might scare him off or fluster him to the point of not being able to process emotions and set him on a tirade.
TT: Aside from that, though, I want to just say that even if it doesn't go well and Karkat doesn't respond to it in the way you want him to
TT: That you two are close enough friends that I don't think it'll destroy what's already there.

TG: i think the only thing that would be a shock is if he actually liked me back
TG: like he dont seem like the type of guy to be gay
TG: but then again theres john
TG: hes totally a homo

TT: Hmm. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit.
TT: And yes, John is absolutely gay, that goes without saying.
TT: But I think that Karkat might also be a morosexual so you've at least got a shot.
TT: (Sorry, little teasing!!!)

TG: i can tell if someone is gay from a mile away
TG: got a gaydar
TG: could tell you were gay from day one

TT: I'd be offended if I absolutely didn't try to hide that fact about me at all.
TT: I hope that even people without gaydar can tell from a mile away that I'm gay. That would save me a lot of trouble.
TT: But I digress, this is about your romantic whims and not mine.
TT: What are you going to say?

TG: just something somewhat cheesy
TG: im joking
TG: "i like you dude, more than a bro, i love you"
TG: something simple like that

TT: You should not be joking about saying something somewhat cheesy. It would serve you better to slap some kraft singles on that before you serve it to your objet d'affection.

TG: ill be somewhat cheesy
TG: maybe
TG: cheesy but affectionate

TT: Karkat needs something a little more heartfelt but not in the 'I wrote you a lovesong based on the first time we met' way, more in the 'you mean something to me as a person and I want that something to be a bigger part of my life' way.
TT: It's hard because when he gets flustered his brain shuts off and then he gets 'angy'.

TG: its cute seeing him like that honestly

TT: Gross.
TT: You've got to ease him into the idea that you're going to be a hopeless romantic before you drop the love bomb on him.

TG: its not gross

TT: Seeing you be mushy about another person is gross in the same way it's gross when I watch people kissing in movies.

TG: okay true
TG: people kissing in the movies is kinda gross

TT: If I wanted to watch people smuch their lip meat against each other, I'd go hang out outside one of my local highschools during lunch break.
TT: Please stop wasting my time watching your movie by making those poor actors kiss each other.
TT: Anyhow!

TG: at least most movies you watch arent full make out sessions

TT: True, but that's because I curate my experience carefully as to avoid as much heteronormative 'bumping uglies' as I absolutely can. It's a thankless job, but somebody's got to do it.
TT: For the confession, I'd start off with a declaration that there was something you needed to talk to him about. Vague but interesting, really catch his attention. Is it going to be something serious? Is it going to be something ironic? Who knows. You'll have him at the edge of his metaphorical seat.
TT: Then lead into some sort of warm explanation of a particular time you enjoyed spending with him, preferably one that isn't embarassing for either of you because you don't want to lose him right off the bat.
TT: Maybe talk to him about how much it means to you when you guys hang out, and how comfortable around him you are.

TG: this sounds like you got it from one of your fanfictions

TT: Close with some sort of 'I've been really thinking things over, and I think I like you. Like, LIKE like you'
TT: I absolutely did.
TT: It works every time.

TG: oh my god

TT: He'll have an internal monologue of 'oh. OH.' and then in that moment he'll realize he's been feeling the exact same way, but he just never noticed it.
TT: It's hard to see something that's built up gradually, but like a masterful close-up magician, you just pulled the sheet off of the table and revealed a gross, throbbing love heart sitting in the center.

TG: please dont tell me this is how you confessed

TT: Absolutely not, I have class.

TG: wow

TT: No but seriously, just... talk to him.
TT: Just tell him that you've been having some feelings for a while, and what those feelings are, and ask him if he would ever be interested in dating.
TT: The worst he can say is 'FUCK NO.'

TG: i will dont worry. ive just got to work up the courage about coming out about the other thing as well. im pretty sure trolls dont know what being trans is. so i have to muster up the courage for that too

TT: I think that'll be way less embarrassing than asking him on a date. You should bite the bullet first before you do the cakewalk.
TT: 'I think I love you' is WAY more intimidating than 'My Human Gender is weird and suddenly I'm talking to you about my genitals for some reason'.
TT: He knows you're Dave already, you don't have to explain who you are. You definitely do need to explain how you feel, though.

TG: okay true
TG: any last minute moral support before i go embarrass myself and confess to him?

TT: Go gettem', Tiger.