Swing - Yesterday at 6:37 PM
EXCUSE ME CHILD CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:38 PM
Mmmhmm?
Swing - Yesterday at 6:38 PM
I need to know
If you want to actually be speaking with me or if I should just
kinda
stay away or something because
Discord isnt sending my messages
OK
I havent known really how to talk to you or approach you
but I dont want to like
...not be your friend?
BUT I FEEL LIKE IVE DONE SOMETHINGWRONG
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:40 PM
Hmm.
What brought this up tho
Swing - Yesterday at 6:40 PM
Me thinking
While looking for rat tails for fishing
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:40 PM
That's an odd thought.
Swing - Yesterday at 6:40 PM
(I googled it)
I think about a lot of things
One of them being all of the junk I've helped you through and wondering if you still want me around
another being if I inhaled too much bugspray 10 minutes ago when I sprayed the plants
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:43 PM
That's probably unhealthy
Swing - Yesterday at 6:44 PM
Well, yeah. I think im fine
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:44 PM
I'd hope so
What a sudden and difficult question you've given me
Swing - Yesterday at 6:45 PM
Well I've been thinking about it for a few days, but it got to that point where It bothered me
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:45 PM
I've thought about it for a long while.
It's conflicting
Most honestly,
I felt a little relieved when we started talking again
But at the same time I didn't feel comfortable either.
To tell you the truth I don't feel like I hold that same emotional connection with you
I didn't know how to say it.
Without potentially hurting you.
Swing - Yesterday at 6:46 PM
Well, yeah, that's what happens
No, no it doesnt hurt. I prefer honesty over everything.
Well, when it comes to things like this
I cant be straightforward with certain things
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:47 PM
I've been fighting Michael about it
He kind of guilt tripped me back into the FC
Because after what Lemon said to me
And after how I felt about everyone
I didn't want to come back
He didn't even give me a day.
Swing - Yesterday at 6:48 PM
Well, I wasn't here for your leveling process, and I don't know who all helped you, so I don't really have a say
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:48 PM
No one
Except maybe Ness
Swing - Yesterday at 6:48 PM
but I CAN say that it's sort of a silly thing for both of you to be upset over
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:49 PM
I got over it, but I just didn't really want to continue to talk to him
He's so overly pushy
And we clash if we talk too much to one another
I.
Hhh.
Okay.
I'm just going to say this all at once.
Swing - Yesterday at 6:49 PM
Ah.
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:49 PM
Just to finally get it off my chest
The moment you all stepped into FF14 I felt so off
And then you and Blaze got super close and I felt
Well, physically uncomfortable
Because Benji,
You left Oliver and Chief behind
I don't think you meant to do it on purpose
But they both came to me.
Both confused and kind of upset
Swing - Yesterday at 6:50 PM
Yep, I know. I unfortunately cant pay for everyone.
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:50 PM
I don't think that's the point, really..
Swing - Yesterday at 6:51 PM
I still spoke to them offhand
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:51 PM
I mean apart from the game itself, they both said you were ignoring them
Swing - Yesterday at 6:51 PM
chief...never really played anything with me to begin with?
And Oliver gave me attitude whenever I spoke to her, and the whole ordeal with Meena was happening, so I wasn't having it
much like I was just ignoring anyone that tried to quip at me
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:52 PM
Ordeal with Meena?
Swing - Yesterday at 6:52 PM
She got extremely stressed out and threatened to leave me
and while she didnt mean it
it still hit me really really hard
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:52 PM
Hm.
Sorry that everything happened at once I suppose.
I just don't really know what to do.
Michael wants me to stay friends with all of you
But I want to run
I feel like nothing ever really works out.
And that this is just a constant and unfortunate loop
I can't trust Six
I can't trust Blaze
You and I are so up and down
It feels like I get hit with the weirdest shit all the time
I do hope you realize why I was so upset with you way back when
I never really said it outloud to you as I never got the chance to
I guess it doesn't directly matter as much as it did then since you kind of distanced yourself from Snakai too
Swing - Yesterday at 6:57 PM
I had to
Meena told me
"I fucking hate Snakai. Fuck Snakai."
And I just
...dropped him. Even if I worry.
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:57 PM
See like
I got upset because you were pulling a 180 on my fucking ass
Because you did the exact same thing I did with Kinnis
But instead of Six throwing someone under the bus I threw you under the bus
Not that it was much of a secret
Swing - Yesterday at 6:58 PM
Yeah six...already knew
everyone did
I was just more hurt by it and felt
..bad?
I felt really bad
Mobian - Yesterday at 6:59 PM
Yeah I totally know how you feel
Swing - Yesterday at 6:59 PM
and then meena did what she did and I panicked and shoved everything away
I actually spoke to Oliver yesterday
and told her everything
We both apologized and agreed to stay friends
Swing - Yesterday at 7:00 PM
But...with chief..I really don't know what to say or do
I try to talk to him but he just strays the topic or doesnt respond
but I did it back and he got upset????
I figured it was an okay thing to do, I don't know
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:01 PM
I don't know
He felt obligated to come to ff14 because he wanted to be around you but it got overly complicated
Ultimately I just told him to play for himself and to not be extremely fixated
Snakai is kind of lowkey fucking him over
Swing - Yesterday at 7:01 PM
I mean..that's what I've been doing, really
..eh?
I thought they stopped talking?
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:02 PM
It's in relation to someone else
But he's just talking bad about Chief openly
Swing - Yesterday at 7:02 PM
Oh, yeah he did that frequently...
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:02 PM
Snakai is a very bad person!
No matter what I cannot see him as otherwise.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:03 PM
I'll just have to agree with you.
He didn't treat me badly, but I know he does it to others.
So that must mean he does it to me while im not looking?
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:03 PM
I mean
Most of the people you tried to talk to from your past
May it be Peej, Curry, or Snakai
I think the only one who didn't was colors
But he wasn't really around for a long while
I dunno, just bad people.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:05 PM
I'm a fridge in a world of magnets.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:06 PM
I guess it happens.
I don't know.
Michael wants me to be friends with all of you I didn't really know how to approach this.
Basically.
He stomped on my feelings for all of you.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:06 PM
See thats
...ugh I feel disgusting saying this
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:07 PM
Just go ahead.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:07 PM
I'm trying to word it correctly
it isnt the right or wrong thing to do
but at the same time
I...he should be sensitive to your feelings, and you should be wary of how much he hates being ignored
but at the end you're both still together and you're both toughing it out
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:09 PM
I almost killed him for forcing me back into the group
Swing - Yesterday at 7:09 PM
that's what matters, Aidan
What matters is that you get through it together
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:10 PM
I guess so.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:10 PM
don't let go of each other, and everything will be okay.
Cause' he's your best friend.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:10 PM
I know.
I feel like ass for thinking ill of you
But at the same time I don't know if it's beneficial for the both of us to keep this up
Swing - Yesterday at 7:12 PM
It probably is
we both just have to heal because we hurt each other
that and you're still growing
as much as you're probably done with hearing that
But everything will be okay, if you let it.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:13 PM
I don't know
I just feel like history is constantly repeating itself
And I need to somehow get out of the loop
Or find somewhere else to go
Swing - Yesterday at 7:14 PM
If..that is what will make you happy.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:14 PM
Nothing will ever make me truly happy
Swing - Yesterday at 7:14 PM
Then yes, that's what you need to do.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:14 PM
But
I just feel like
Our group as a whole has never been that good
Everything was always kind of stressful and toxic
Well, not all the time.
And it's not like I can directly blame you for all of it either
I mean when I say I'm going to leave I'm just
Dropping a lot of people maybe I don't know.
It's conflicting, I guess
Swing - Yesterday at 7:17 PM
It's...well. When it boils down to it, you're doing what you want to do.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:17 PM
Trying to, anyway
Swing - Yesterday at 7:17 PM
And you need to talk to Michael about it. Don't forget to do that.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:17 PM
Always tried to
He kept saying he understood where I was coming from, but said I was being stupid
And kind of just started gaslighting everything
So that was fun.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:18 PM
I had to google gaslighting
Also that
isnt right I
hhHHHH
It isnt stupid to have emotional issues
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:19 PM
Oh no like
lol
ok
so
Swing - Yesterday at 7:19 PM
I wish it was stupid
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:19 PM
Before I told him everything
I told him mentally I wasn't feeling right
Like, I just felt really off and dysfunctional
And he
He doesn't understand mental illnesses.
He didn't really believe I was feeling depressed or I had anxiety
And I was like
uhm??
???????
He has
pretty much no empathy and can't understand where I'm coming from at all
I wish I could let him know
Or he could feel it or something
But he can't
Swing - Yesterday at 7:22 PM
I've tried to tell him, or explain it, or anything
But I honestly don't know what to do to about it...I mean..it's real. It's why psychology exists
well not MAINLY why but you get me
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:23 PM
It's a good reason as to why it partially exists
I mean I took a class on it to further understand myself
A lot of people in that class did
Swing - Yesterday at 7:23 PM
it's why I took it
it's...why I was okay with taking medicine
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:24 PM
I don't think I'll ever be okay with medication even after it
I just want to pull through on my own will
Depression may cloud my judgement at times
But at least it's what I know I'm feeling
Swing - Yesterday at 7:24 PM
It
DOES help
it doesnt control you or anything, it's literally just stimulation to chemical release
but sometimes it doesnt work and I fucking crash and burn
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:25 PM
I'm not saying it controls you in that sort of manner I just know that some medication can numb you out
Swing - Yesterday at 7:25 PM
Hoo yes it can
But I
Welcomed it
I was having day-long panic attacks
and just...crying and shaking constantly, always scared of something, always wondering if i was doing something wrong
constant, constant weight on my body
and then it just
Stopped.
Eugh, sorry. It's a dark topic.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:27 PM
I don't get into major panic attacks I still have the fear looming over me but it makes me feel like myself
I'm fine.
I mean I didn't want to tell you everything that was going on or how I felt but here we are
Swing - Yesterday at 7:29 PM
I'm probably just easy to talk to somehow
I don't tell anyone anything anymore, don't worry.
The most I tell michael is like
...memes.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:29 PM
I dunno after dealing with Spot anyone is easy to talk to
Swing - Yesterday at 7:30 PM
I..havent spoken to him in months
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:30 PM
Just
don't
Just block him
Swing - Yesterday at 7:30 PM
After I started being straight with him he didnt want to talk to me

[Chat log between Spot and me for the last time]


Swing - Yesterday at 7:34 PM
jesus christ
what in the hell and back
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:34 PM
Yeah it was really really odd and random I just blocked him the day after
I don't even know what's wrong with him
Obviously more than most people
He's part of the reason I sold my Ga2 account
Swing - Yesterday at 7:36 PM
I havent sold mine simply because I just
I cant
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:37 PM
Ian tried selling his
No one wanted it..
Swing - Yesterday at 7:39 PM
...Ah.
I just cant sell mine because thats...like 7 years.
I'd feel bad.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:39 PM
I felt bad at first
But every single fucking person on Ga2
Who caused problems or purposely went after me
Made me change my mind
The game itself is dying
Swing - Yesterday at 7:41 PM
I know, I know
theres every reason to but like
I dunno
I met meena there
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:43 PM
That is true.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:44 PM
Met you there. MEt everyone there. So much history.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:44 PM
I dunno I met people on Roblox doesn't mean I'd ever go back to it
Swing - Yesterday at 7:45 PM
Well I dont wanna go back I just
Don't want to give it to someone else.

Mobian - Yesterday at 7:50 PM
And
Also
Maybe we can stay friends
But I don't think we should be super close, at least not as much as we used to be
I'm still going to keep a good distance from everyone
Just for the sake of staying out of shit
I can probably help you out in a couple things but I dunno.
That's what I'm thinking right now
Swing - Yesterday at 7:51 PM
That's all good. You do you and just...try to keep well.
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:52 PM
Keep in mind I'm hardly awake and I'm having extreme tunnel vision because of energy drinks.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU MADE ME YOUR RETAINER I WAS LIKE
HM.
HM.

Swing - Yesterday at 7:53 PM
I DID IT BECAUS EI LIKE YOU
IT WAS MEANT TO BE A COMPIMENT
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:54 PM
OH I'M COMPLETELY AWARE I WAS JUST.
NOT CERTAIN ON MY POSITION WITH YOU AT THAT TIME.
AND I CALMLY KEPT SAYING
"DON'T TOUCH THAT CACTUS."
PLEASE IT HAS A WIFE AND SOME KIDS
AND THE KIDS ARE SMOL.
THEY'RE LIKE.
LITTLE CACTI.
Swing - Yesterday at 7:55 PM
ITS..I MEAN..IM SORRY..
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:55 PM
IT'S OKAY.
IT'S TOO LATE.
I KNOW YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO BE NICE
Swing - Yesterday at 7:56 PM
I CAN CHANGE IT I THINK?
Mobian - Yesterday at 7:57 PM
I don't remember