One Shot - Shizune in a Misha Route

(A request I took. Prompt was: "Internal monologue, Shizune in a theoretical Misha route. She's jealous enough to mull on what she doesn't have that Misha does.")


Within the silent Student Council room, Shizune sits nestled behind her desk before a stack of untouched paperwork.
She hasn’t had the motivation to touch it.
Instead, she simply sits there, gazing off into space wearing a sorrowful, pensive expression.
Neither of her friends are there.
Misha said she had “something to take care of”.
Hisao… he didn’t even bother to give an excuse and just didn’t show up.
She isn’t stupid… between the lingering gazes they’ve shared… Their body language… It’s fairly obvious what’s going on.

At this thought, she rises from her lonesome throne and slowly makes her way towards the window as the amber sunset rays begin to filter into the empty room.
She tenses her darkened eyes in thought behind her glasses as she walks.
Although she knows what’s going on, she can’t grasp the reason for it.
She always tried to be there for Hisao, tried to bring him from his melancholy states… She really tried to be supportive…
She reaches the window and rests a hand against the frame.
But it was all for nothing.
He spent more time with Misha as the days rolled by… and after a while, both began to spend less time with her.
And now…
Shisune clenches her moistening eyes shut and reflexively covers her mouth to silence a small pained gasp.
She’s alone.

It’s as it always was.
The way she never wanted it to be.
Why… did he choose Misha over her? What was it that she lacked?
She knows she isn’t ugly… And she always tried her hardest to be cordial…
Although as far as acting goes, she knows Misha to be her better…
Or maybe…
She looks up into the light as she comes to this revelation.
Maybe… it wasn’t acting at all…
The image of Lilly’s coy smile flashes through her mind as if to mock her.
Maybe it was just that single elusive quality she had always lacked?
What was the word? Charisma? Empathy? She casts about mentally, but can’t find one that encompasses everything.
Just that strange ability… To form a connection with people…

Perhaps that was her true disability…
Perhaps that was what she really lacked…
She was simply… ‘defective’.
She sinks down to the floor and begins to sob… She doesn’t know how loud it is… but that doesn’t matter.
The room is empty.
The building is empty.
Her life is empty.
In total seclusion, the girl breaks down, shivering as her tears flow freely over her face.
She cries in solitude, freezing in her emptiness, drowning in despair.
It’s the fate she never wanted… What she fought so hard against.
She’s alone.