Sad Alien Bitch Has A Date

Agatha slouched uncomfortably in her seat. This was normal for the alien girl, but she was beginning to realize that her endless hours hoping for a change from the norm were painfully wasted. Having a pleasant, likable, and charming person sitting directly across from her changed things. Nothing regarding her own sense of alienation or discomfort changed for the better, unfortunately. It was unmistakably worse now. She watched the human male sitting across from her, as he prodded his food with fork and knife. She was pretty certain the movements weren’t done out of discomfort. The brown-haired man handled his utensils with more grace than she would have assumed.  She didn’t know much of human aesthetics, but the athletic square jawed man across from her was definitely out of her league. It wasn’t a difficult feat.

She was a artificial construct, built with naught but war in mind. Her creators didn’t bother to consider things like friendship, love, or non-murder during her design process. Watching him cut his steak into small bite sized shapes felt maddening. Her room-mate was a Hellhound, a sort of canine-human hybrid. That girl’s tendency to tear into her meat inelegantly often inspired the same grating cool ache in Agatha’s stomach. Having three rows of razor sharp teeth and a stupidly efficient digestive system should’ve theoretically made Agatha feel better. It didn’t. She looked down at her own plate as the man continued cutting his steak. The butter coated steamed vegetables, golden brown roll, and large strip of seared meat on her plate were wasted on her. She could survive off of eating the damned plate and it would be just the same. For a long aching moment she had the miserable urge to do just that. Eat the whole damn thing, plate and all. If she was lucky she’d choke on the damn thing. The ache in her idiotically resilient stomach slid into her hands and feet. Her bony hands and feet, all ending in ceramic-sharp nails designed to kill, throbbed restlessly. Her feet, basically longer hands, were crammed into her too small shoes. Agatha hadn’t wanted to stand out even more than she had to, so she folded her feet at the palm to fit into human shoes. Her shoes were always too small and large for her comfort. Too small to fit in comfortably, too large to appear to fit in comfortably. She bodily resisted the growing urge to tear into either her shoes or the table on which her hands rested. The world grew blurry with her self pity, and she blinked her eyes rapidly to keep tears from spilling. Why did they make me able to cry?, she asked herself bitterly.

"I something the matter with the food, Agatha?" asked the man sitting across from her. She swallowed the miserable urge to engage in unnatural stress eating, which had expanded to include chewing through the table and sobbing. She could only give an ineffectual close-mouthed smile in an attempt to hide her dental structure. Her mouth looked human from the outside, but the several rows of sharp teeth within were off-putting. She couldn't feel bitter when people drew back from seeing it. Her mouth was basically a garbage disposal. His concerned scrutiny continued, so she gave a hum as she tried to nod sociably at the man across from her. She couldn't trust herself to talk around the aching clench in her throat. What would she say anyway? You should've bought the table as an side dish? You should've taken me to the dump, like I deserve? The bundle of depression and aggression making her throat tight and her extremities throb didn't stop. So she could only smile and hum dumbly. The man's head tilted slightly in concern. He put his silverware aside with a small muffled clink, on the napkin beside his plate.

He was going to say something nice and pitying, thought Agatha. The angry shame and despair bubbled up. She could feel a sobbing fit about to approach. She shook her head wildly, forcing her trembling throbbing hands to pick up the silverware. She set to shoving vegetables into her face as quickly as possible, tilting her head downwards to hide her rapidly blinking eyes and trash compactor teeth. She blindly set her spoon aside and grabbed her napkin. She dabbled at her mouth as she sat upwards again. She tried to give the "mmm" sound of food-enjoyment as she ground the food to paste behind her closed lips. The "mmm" came out as so loud and fake that Agatha immediately debated whether to give a thumbs-up or rub her stomach as a show of satisfaction. The man wasn't looking at her thankfully. He glanced upward from regarding her plate and gave her a polite smile. Agatha couldn't help feeling that it was a pitying expression on his face. He seemed poised to say something, but gave a brief controlled shake of the head before turning back to his own food. He chewed a piece of steak as he held a finger up at a passing waiter. Apparently not too busy, the waiter stood by their table as the man gathered up his silverware. He mimed dropping it on the floor, and the waiter nodded in comprehension.

Agatha looked on in confusion, but felt somewhat better, as the focus was on someone else for a change. She swallowed her food, a bit more satisfied now. Wordlessly, the man slid his napkin, with spoon atop it, near the middle of the table. Only when she reached for her own spoon did Agatha realized that the small utensil's bowl was missing. She stared at the utensil she'd half eaten insipidly. Her insides were numb with shock, but she turned rapidly as the man across from her cleared his throat. He met her eye and made a shooing motion at her. Agatha blinked as shame and confusion welled up within. Looking around in a way she immediately recognized as making sure the waiter wasn't near, he then grabbed his spoon and mimed putting it in his lap. Filled with a mixture of un-namable emotion, she hid her half-eaten spoon in her lap.

He leaned over as he set his spoon back on the napkin he’d placed in the middle of the table, and slid them both over to her side. He whispered as he did so “Don’t worry about it, they’ll never notice. You can eat an entire set, as long as we leave two sets of silverware behind. “ He gave her a wink, before returning to his steak. Agatha stared numbly at him, not understanding the emotion she was feeling, but certain that she liked it. Only later would she put it all together, and realize that real smiles came with feelings.