Deadmeat Chronicles: Nummie Piles

>You are a maroon unicorn with a light green mane.
>And you are out looking for nummies.
>You are happy about how easy it is to get nummies here.
>You wonder around looking in the stone vases beside the rocks.
>”…ashes to ashes, dust to dust…”
>Freeze and get near a large rock with a statue of an angle on it.
>You look around for the monster you just heard.
>You see a group of monsters standing around what looks a big sorry box.
>Most of the monsters are crying.
>Some seem to be sneering at the box.
>It seems one monster is standing at the head of the sorry box talking to the sky.
>”Please take him Lord and keep him forever in your bosom!”
>”And we know he is with you Lord for you are just and you will always watch after your flock!”
>”And please be with this family Lord in their time of sorrow!”
>”I know you are with them for you are everywhere and you are always watching!”
>You freeze and start looking over your shoulder to see if a big fluffy is watching you.
>You keep looking around until you are satisfied you are alone.
>You look back at the strange ritual.
>You see the sorry box get lowered into a hole in the ground as the people around it start to wail in sorrow.
>After it is in the hole, two legged monsters starts to throw dirt on top of it.
>You see the man who was talking to the sky walking around and hugging the other monsters.
>You never knew two legged monsters liked sorry boxes so much.
>After the box is buried you see something amazing.
>The two legged monsters start to throw nummies where the box was buried!
>You watch as the pile gets bigger and bigger.
>After a bit the crying two legged monsters walk away.
>You trot over to the nummie pile.
>It is three times as tall as you!
>You cannot believe that monsters would throw away such good nummies.
>You walk around the nummie pile and stop.
>Your eyes lock on something new and amazing.
>You never knew such great things existed.
>It is a wreath filled with pretty white flowers and plush letters of R I P tied to it.
>You immediately know what it is.
>”Dat am bestest sweepie pwace Deadmeat efer see…”
>You climb up and bite the side of the wreath and start to drag it.
>It takes time but you finally get it back to your hidey hole.
>Your herd stares in awe at your find.
>It takes some maneuvering but you get it past the bars and to your sleepy place.
>Next Special Friend walks up to it sniffing, “Ohh… pwetty… Nex Speshul Fwen haf nummies?”
>Momma fluffy tries to get closer, “Nuu! Yoo go way! Mommeh nee nummies! Haf bad tummy owies!”
>Fluffies start to clamber about.
>You stomp and start to yell, “Nuu! Nuu nummies! Nuu nom Deadmeat new swwepie pwace!”
>You jump inside of it and puff your cheeks while staring down all the fluffies who want to eat your new nest.
>When they all back down you start to speak again,”Deadmeat fin nummies. Wots nummies!”
>”Nee frens go get nummies and bwing to hewd.”
>Haze starts to leap about, “Hase go wif smawty! Hase am bwing wots nummies!”
>You ignore Haze as you stare about, “Nee wots gud and stwong and nuu stwange fwuffy.”
>You look at Bruce, “Yoo am get owies fwens fo nummies.”
>”Deadmeat get mo fwuffy.”
>You walk around with Haze hopping around you and pick three large earth fluffies to take with you.
>You walk back and see Bruce with four owchie friends.
>You look over the fluffies and try to ignore Haze.
>”Otay, fwuffies go get nummies noa.”
>You walk out of the hidey hole with Bruce on your right and your four owchie friends behind you.
>Haze takes up the rear.
>You make your way back to the nummie pile and see lots of fluffies surrounding the nummies.
>You see a group of fluffies in front of them.
>One unicorn is puffing his cheeks and stomping, “Dis smawty nummies! Yoo go way!”
>The fluffies standing back are whining, “Bu’ fwuffy wan nummies too…”, “Wan nummies…”
>You walk up to the nummie pile and look it over.
>You start to point to sections of it, “Take dose nummies to hewd.”
>The smarty quits bolstering and turns to look at you, “Yoo nuu heaw smawty!? Dis smawty nummies! Yoo nuu take! Gif yoo owies!”
>You turn and stare down the other smarty, “Deadmeat fin dese nummies fiwst… yo nuu gif owwies..”
>The other smarty points at you and yells, “Gif dat dum dum owies!”
>Two large earth fluffies truddle toward you.
>Bruce lowers his horn as the owchie friends start to stomp.
>Before your owchie friends react you jump ahead and boop one of the fluffies on his nose knocking him to the ground.
>You then turn and stab the other in his shoulder making him yelp in pain.
>”WEEEEEEEEE!”
>A light blue streak shoots by hitting the smarty from the side.
>The smarty lets out a shout of surprise and pain as he rolls into the nummie pile, ”AAAAAHH! Smawty haf owwies!”
>The pile shuffles around a bit then the smarty comes flying out.
>He lands with a thud as Haze hops out of the nummie pile as the smarty tries to get up.
>Haze hops on the back of the smarty giggling with flower petals falling of his fluff.
>Haze starts to whisper in the smarty’s ear, ”When smawty say Hase can gif owwies… Hase am nummie yoo ears… Nummie yoo see tings…”
>The smarty quickly loses any semblance of bravery and freezes, “Wahhhhhh! Bad fwuffy haf smawty! Saf smawty noa! Wahhhhhhh!”
>One of the fluffies looks on and sees Haze, “Ahhhhh! Munsta fwuffy!”
>It quickly turns and truddles away.
>Bruce and your owchie friends surround the smarty as you step in front of him.
>”Deadmeat nee nummies fo hewd! Yoo twy kee nummies fwom gud fwuffy!”
>You stare down at the quivering smarty.
>Haze giggles happily as you point at the smarty.
>”Yoo am bad fwuff-“
>”NUUUUU!”
>A white blur comes between you and the smarty.
>Before you can react the fluffy falls on its belly in front of you, “Pwease nuu gif owwies!”
>You take a moment to look at the fluffy.
>You see the white earth fluffy staring up at you with its pleading golden eyes.
>He is still wearing the black collar with the white square.
>You look down at him, “Wha yoo wan?”
>He quickly sits up and looks at you, “Hewpeh am hewe teww gud fwuffy wha de Biggest Daddeh say.”
>He sits up and raises his hooves and looks to the sky, “De Biggest Daddeh say nuu gif owwies to fwuffy!”
>Your owchies friends, Bruce, Haze, the smarty and you all look up.
>You then catch yourself and look back at Helper, “Deadmeat wook! Dey nuu fwuffy up dere!”
>Helper gets an indignant look on his face and looks at you, “Nuu! De Biggest Daddeh am weal!”
>You snort and look past the preacher fluffy.
>Bruce stomps, “Nuu haf tawkies! Dum dum smawty twy am stop fwuffies!”
>He turns and bucks the smarty in his head.
>It whines and dribbles of boo boo juice starts to drip from his mouth, “Wahhhhhh! Bad fwuffies gif smawty owwies!”
>Helper gives a surprised yell.
>”Nuuu! Utheh fwuffy nuu gif owwies!”
>He starts to hug the hurt smarty.
>Haze looks between Helper and the smarty.
>”Umm nyu fwen…  Hase gif gud owwies dis fwuffy.”
>”Nuu wan get boo boo juice nyu fwen…”
>The smarty opens his mouth and cries with tears flowing down his face as Haze smiles and gives a cute heartwarming laugh.
>”Fwuffy nee… fwuffy saf smawty!”
>You hear a fluffy talking from the side and you hear shuffling.
>You turn and stare down three fluffies truddling your way very slowly.
>They all fall to their bellies when they see your face.
>They all shiver and one finally stammers, “Mu-munsta! Hewp fwuffy!”
>They all jump up and truddle away as fast as they can.
>The smarty cries after them, “Nuu! Saf smawty! Wahhhhhhh!”
>Haze starts to like the tears off the side of the smarty’s face.
>Bruce and the owchie friends puff their cheeks.
>Helper shuffles in place, “Pwease! Fwuffy nee be gud fwuffy! Nuu gif owwies!”
>Helper jumps in front of you again, “Pwease fwen! Wha fwuffy do dat am bad!?”
>You look at Helper and point at the smarty, “He twy gif Deadmeat owwies!”
>Helper stammers, “Bu’ wha udder bad ting fwuffy do…?”
>”He twy keep gud nummies of onwy him! He wet udder fwuffy go wif tummy owwies!”
>Helper looks up at you pleading, “Bu’ udder than dat he am gud fwuffy! Pwease nuu gif owwies!”
>”If fwuffy do bad ting dey get de worstest sowwy box!”
>”De Biggest Daddeh gif wots sowwies wif his biggest meanie sowwy stick and fwuffy haf nuu sketties!”
>You snort and starts to walk past Helper with your horn lowered.
>Helper has a shocked look cross his face as you ignore what he says.
>Helper then sets back on his haunches and raises his hooves to the sky, “Pwease Biggest Daddeh! Pwease hewp fwuffy an make fwuffies be gud!”
>”Biggest Daddeh make aww tings gud! Pwease Biggest Daddeh wisten Hewpeh pwayer!”
>”So what is going on over here?”
>You freeze and look over to where the voice came from.
>You see the elderly priest walking up to where you are with a warm smile on his face.
>Helper looks up at the man, “It am mawickel!”
>You at Helper, “Nuu! Dat am munsta!”
>The smarty starts to yell, “Hewp! Smawty haf owwies fwom bad fwuffies! Wahhhhh!”
>The man picks up his step, “Oh no! there will be no violence in this sacred place as long as I’m around!”
>He is coming your way quickly.
>You stomp in frustration.
>You look at your fluffies, “Weafe bad fwuffy wone! Get nummies!”
>You jump over and grab a bouquet.
>Haze leans over and whispers in the smarties ear, “Yoo come to hewd awea leter… Haze gif yoo owwies den!”
>He jumps off and bites a wreath.
>Bruce walks over to the downed smarty and jumps on his back before walking on and biting onto a large bouquet himself.
>The rest of your fluffies bite up more bouquets
>You start to drag the nummies away just as the man comes around the tomb stone and looks down at you.
>”Ok, why were you guys fighting?”
>You ignore the monster and still drag the nummies away.
>The smarty lays crying, “Smawty cwaim nummmies! Wahhhhhh! Bad fwuffies take nummies smawty wan! Wahhhhhh!”
>You glance back and see the priest bend over and…
>He is petting the smarty!?
>You drag for a little bit and stop.
>You look at the other nummies fluffies, “Fwuffy take nummies hewd awea!”
>You drag your bouquet behind a big rock and glance out at the monster.
>You see the strange white fluffy walk next to him and sit wagging his tail, “Hewpeh pway for gud ting just wike daddeh say!”
>”De Biggest Daddeh answeh Hewpeh pwayeh daddeh!”
>The man looks down smiling, “Yes, you did very good Helper.”
>He looks at the smarty, “And you little one, are you ok?”
>The smarty sniffles a bit more and looks around whining, “Bad fwuffies gif smawty owwies…”
>The man gives a happy laugh, “Don’t worry, those fluffies are gone.”
>The smarty sniffles and looks around, “Dey am go bye bye?”
>”That’s right.”
>The smarty then stands up and composes himself.
>He then puffs his cheeks and starts to stomp at the man, “Dis smawty wand! Dese smawty nummies! Yoo go way!”
>”Gif sowwy poopies!”
>The man laughs and stands, “Now you don’t need to be naughty yourself.”
>The elderly priest takes off his back pack.
>He then leans down on one knee, “Good fluffies share what they have.”
>”Will you share your nummies?”
>”Nuu! Dis am smawty wand! Dis am smawty nummies! Yoo go way or sowwy poopies!”
>The man reches into his back pack, “But surely such a strong smarty can share with weaker fluffies.”
>”We should take care of the weakest among us.”
>The smarty stomps again, “Smawty twy take cawe of dum dum weak fwuffy bu’ too many gif owwies to!”
>The man pops open a can.
>Your mouth starts to water in response.
>”If I give you spaghetti, will you share your food with the less fortunate?”
>Those are your nummies!
>The smarty looks at the can of spaghetti transfixed.
>”Smawty do anyting fo sketties…”
>Monsters still trick fluffies with this stuff!
>The man pours out the red ambrosia, “See Helper, with love and the grace of God everything is possible.”
>Helper raises his hooves and looks toward the sky, “Pwaise de Biggest Daddeh!”
>The smarty is shoving his face into the pile of noodles in front of him.
>The man stands up, “Ok, let’s see if we can find those other fluffies.”
>“They probably have never been taught that through God’s grace and not violence they can settle their differences.”
>He walks off with Helper truddling next to him.
>You shake your head, “Munstas am dum dum!”
>You bite up your bouquet and drag it back to the herd area.
>Your herd is happily nomming on what you got.
>You grab up the nummie fluffies and head back.
>There is no sign of the smarty or any other fluffies.
>The spaghetti pile is gone.
>You notice the pile has huge chunks missing but there is plenty left.
>You spend the rest of the day ferrying the rest of the nummies back to your herd area.