Deep Breathes

>Your feet tread the weary path back home from the castlebrary after going to check out a few books that night
>The weight of the volumes in your arm was familiar as this was only one of many times you'd the same thing
>Magic, History, Literature, and even politics, everything seemed so much more interesting when it was from a different world
>One you now called home for better or for worse
>So you spent a lot of your free time learning about all that you may need in this world
>On your way home you pass by the edge of town which brushes up closely to the Everfree forest
>You slightly quicken your pace and pass a quick glance its way
>You reach your home soon after and release a heavy sigh you didn't realize you'd been carrying inside yourself
>A little bit of tension eases off your shoulders and you make your way inside setting down your haul
>Keeping one book you sit in your favorite cushy chair after lighting a few candles to read by
>Looking down at the title of the tome you hold you read to yourself
Magical Monsters and Anomalies
>You open it and read through the index before idly flipping through the pages
>Different beasts and monstrosities adorned the pages as you flipped through, it
>Some made the hair on your body stand up
>Others reminded you of beasts from fantasy literature back home
>Eventually you could no longer idly thumb through it as you knew you were getting close to the reason you'd gotten the book
>You knew it was on the next page because of the index and even just the thought of turning the paper over made you anxious
>But you do it, quickly, and now you sit staring at it
>Spider, Corpse
>The large bold letters denoting the species and variation at the top of the page send your gut turning
>The very large and detailed sketch didn't help either
>Your hand holds the book as close to the edge as you can so as to not be too close to what lies on its pages
>You take a deep breath and steady yourself before reading
>You already know what these beasts were all about and yet here you were reading through a beastiary
>Most were female, the few males were smaller and didnt often come out except to mate
>The females though, they were as large as you and moved about freely through tree canopies at will
>They feared very few as there weren't any natural predators hunting them
>You shudder simply thinking back on the facts
>Reading further down the page you stop above the passage labeled reproduction
>It takes you a span of several long and unsteady moments before you find yourself able to continue
"The Corpse Spider's mating habits are peculiar for a variety of reasons namely in terms of incubation. Once a female has been fertilized she is then able to hold the fertilized eggs within her until a suitable storage unit has been found. Once the victim in question has been found the female will then trap and inject the eggs into her victim. The victim will often remain alive and conscious through this process. Once the eggs have matured they will hatch and then devour the host from the inside before exiting the remaining body and moving into the wilderness."
>You stop and close the book
>You can feel your head itching
>You check the ceiling and scratch your head before getting up and tossing the book onto the rest of the pile and heading straight up to bed
>You ready yourself for sleep but find that its presence is absent for most of the night
>Once you do finally find sleep it is all but restful as pictures much unwanted dance through your dreams on eight legs

>You wake with a start
>Your heart is pounding and you're sweating beneath your sheets
>You wait in bed and study your surroundings until your heart rate has returned to something resembling normal before getting up and showering off
>You dress and head downstairs
>Grabbing the beastiary and your keys you head out the door locking it behind you
>Down that same path you took the night before you trudge heading for the crystal castle in the distance
>Once again you pass by the forrest
>You keep your eyes on the path in front of you
>Your mind is busied with other thoughts and before you know it you've arrived
>Knocking on the door you wait until Spike appears after pulling the wood inward
>"Oh hey Anon! What's up?"
"Hey, just here to return a book is all."
>Spike stands back and lets you in as he knows the drill and so do you
>Making your way to the library you hope in your mind that she isn't in there for some reason
>Reaching the door to the book room you push it open and find a purple alicorn hoofing through a book who quickly looks up at you warmly
>"Hello Anonymous. What brings you here again?"
>Shit
"Hey Twilight, just returning a book."
>She looks a little confused given how you just checked out a new batch
>"Alright, what's the title then?"
>She says as she gets up to grab her ledger of incoming and outgoing literature
>You remain silent as she walks over to where you stopped about half-way into the room
>"Anon?"
>You clear your throat and swallow your spit
"It's uh, this one."
>You hold out the book for her to take which she does within her lavender aura
>You try to prepare for whatever might be coming mentally
>Probably won't help
>She reads the title of the book and then looks at her ledger then looks up at you with a mix of emotions splayed across her face
>Anger, hurt, confusion
>But above all, worry
>"Anon, you didn't check this out last night."
"I know."
>"Did you take this from the library without telling me?"
"I- yeah... I'm sorry Twilight."
>She stares up at you with sad eyes
>You avert your own gaze
>"Anon... I know why you took it. Maybe we should talk about this. I know you don't want to but it might help you get through this."
"Will there be a charge for taking it without permission?"
>"Anon stop, please, just talk to me."
"I'll see you around then Twilight. Have a good day."
>You turn and walk off
>"Anon!"
>She calls out somewhat forcefully just before you exit the door to the library within the castle
>You turn back and look at Twilight
>She raises a hoof in the air in front of her before moving to her chest with a large, deep, breath
>"Deep breath in, hold..."
>She exhales and pushes her hoof away from her chest
>"Deep breath out, let your thoughts go with your breath."
>You stand for a second before mimicking her
>Your mind steadies and you feel a little bit better
"Thank you Twilight."
>With that you promptly depart and make your way back home
>Once you reach the part of the path passing by the forest you stop and turn towards it without moving off of the path
>You stare into it for a very long time
>You can feel them there, staring back at you
>You know they're not there but you still feel crawling under your skin anyway
>They reside much deeper in the forest
>You shiver and quickly turn back down the path heading home
>You make your way inside and grab one of the other books you'd gotten the previous night
>The weekend was upon you and you didn't want to do anything too stressful before the coming work week
>Hopefully this book could take your mind off of things
>It didn't at first but eventually you lose yourself in the history of the gryphons as a society and their political relationships with neighboring countries
>As soon as you put in down though the thoughts creep their way back into your mind ever so slightly
>You spend the rest of the day cleaning your house and thinking about visiting friends but never actually working up the energy to do it
>Once night falls you head upstairs once more before falling into the darkness of sleep

>You awake the next morning and go about getting dressed before heading out to grab yourself some breakfast and then some groceries for the coming week
>You stop by a place that serves some nice oatmeal and eat before moving from stall to stall at the farmer's market saying hi to familiar faces and purchasing the necessities along the way
>Before long you're back home and unpacking making sure to store everything in the correct space
>You go to take a seat but before you do a knock on the door stops you short
>Making your way over you open it slightly to see a purple mare outside your door
>You swing the door the rest of the way open and greet her
"Hello Twilight."
>"Hi Anon, can I come in?"
>You step out of the door frame and let her pass through the threshold before closing the door and following her into the living room
>You offer her a drink which she accepts and so you fill two glasses with water before sitting in your chair across from the couch on which she sat
>You take a sip before putting your drink down and clearing your throught
"So what's up Twi?"
>Twilight keeps her head in her glass for a moment before raising it to respond
>"I was planning out my week and I was going to do some research in the forest-"
>Your ears perk and your blood chills slightly at that last word
>"-to study the wildlife a little bit better since something seems to have riled them up. I was going to start in the morning tomorrow near the edge and then work my way deeper later in the day. I was wondering if you'd like to come along at least for the first part. I could use an extra pair of hoofs and spike is busy. It might be good for you..."
>The last sentence was coated in empathy but it slid right off as it hit your ears
>You sit silently for a few moments as you digest her proposal but you knew as soon as you heard it what your decision was
"I'm sorry Twi but I don't know. I think I have something tomorrow."
>Her head hangs ever so slightly but, subtly, but you still notice it
>She picks it up to look at you with a small plastic smile and fake cheery tone quickly thereafter
>"Oh that's alright I understand. I'm sure I'll be able to handle it on my own. Just figured I'd ask to see if you were interested is all."
>You nod, still thinking
>Twilight takes a sip from her drink during the awkward pause and then breaks the silence with an off topic question about your day
>You let her take the conversation away from the real reason she was here for a while as you both finish your drinks to be polite
>Once that's done and you've set both glasses in the sink you walk your friend to the door and show her out
>Before she starts out you get her attention
"Hey Twilight. Thanks for the offer I really do appreciate it. I just... just not yet ok?"
>She nods in understanding
>"Just let me know."
"I will."
>With that you both say your goodbyes and she departs down the road
>You return to your chair and collapse into it
>It had been over a year
>If not now than when?
>Most likely never
>The rest of the day passes uneventfully as you sit in your armchair and eventually you find yourself back in bed drifting off to sleep once again

>The next day you wake and go about your morning routine
>You didn't actually have anything to do today, you had the day off from work
>Thinking about the lie you told Twilight stings at you
>It stings even worse knowing that she knew you were probably just making something up to get out of her offer
>You get dressed and head out the door to go into town
>Passing by the forest you look at it wondering where she might be amidst those trees before passing on and finding yourself in ponyville proper
>You spend the day ambling about doing whatever struck your fancy
>A quartet was singing in the park so you sat and watched for an hour or two
>You stopped by to visit Pinkie and Rarity at their respective jobs
>Sat down by the small lake you would swim in with the girls on occasion
>Eventually you saw the sun pass its apex and begin slowly descending towards the hills as the hours dragged on into evening
>You felt bad about turning her down earlier and so you began to make your way towards the castle to see if Twilight had found any of the answers she was hoping for
>It takes you a while as you were on the other side of town but eventually you find yourself at the castle knocking on the door
>Once again Spike answers
>"Sup Anon?"
"Hey Spike, just here to talk to Twilight."
>"Oh she's actually still out. She said she'd be back before dinner time but she still hasn't showed up. I'm getting a little worried honestly..."
>What
"Do you think she could have just gotten caught up in her research?"
"No, she always comes home on time because she doesn't like making me wait to eat."
>Fuck
>Your mind starts to wander and your worry for your friend begins to mount
>She said she'd be heading deeper into the forest
>Where all the worst things lived
>Where they lived...
"Well it must not be easy to take notes of animals since they're usually skittish. Maybe she just lost track of time."
>"Animals? She said she was going to investigate the spot where you showed up last year cause it's been bugging her so much
>You blood runs cold in your veins
"What?!"
>Spike jumps at your sudden exclamation
>"What's the matter man?"
>No one had actually told Spike what had happened to you in the forest the day you got here because he was so young
>You looked down at him unsure of what to say
"I have to go. Spike, go and get the girls, I think Twilight's in danger."
>You turn on your heal and jog off down the path heading towards the Everfree forest
>The whole way there your minds jumps between memory and imagination of what happened to you and what you fear may happen to Twilight
>Your fears reach a peak as you reach the part of the path that turns down into the forest where you stopped two days ago
>You jog up to the edge of the forest and stop once again looking up into its canopy
>Watching it shift
>Watching the shadows jump as the leaves blew in the wind
>It all came flooding back to you in vivid detail as you stared
>You hadn't been this close since that day
>You'd never wanted to ever get this close to it again
>You could feel the anxiety crawling up your throat in a hard lump
>You feel a sting in your gut
>You place your hand over the scar on your stomach and clench your fingers tightly
>You feel like vomiting but you hold it down
>You could turn back
>Wait for the girls to go instead...
>You stand paralyzed by indecision
>Ever so slowly you begin to back away
>One step at a time
>But then it hits you
>You think of what happened
>Then you think of her
>You can't just wait for someone else to do it
>It would take Spike close to half an hour to round up everyone if he was even lucky
>It has to be now
>You stick your hand out in front of you and bring it to your chest while sucking in a deep breath
>You hold it
>Then let it go with your thoughts as your push them away with your arm
>You begin to make your way into the forest on rubber legs
>You start to jog once you pass the threshold of the trees
>Moving quickly you hear the wind rushing past your ears along with creaking wood and rustling leaves
>Your mind is in over drive, analyzing every little detail
>Putting imaginary things behind trees
>The deeper you go the worse it gets
>You hear skittering where there is none
>Deeper
>Chittering in the trees
>Deeper
>Something touches your face and your arms fling up to bat it away as your legs carry you in a full sprint away from a stray leaf unseen by your eyes
>Deeper still
>You could tell you were getting into the older parts of the forest, the deepest parts
>The trees were taller
>It all felt older
>The path had died away beneath your feet some time ago but you made your way on memory alone, the path burned into your mind forever after that first night
>Then you see them
>In the trees
>Silky and shining in the dying rays of sun
>Webs
>Sparse but they were there
>That's when it hits you like a train
>The memory forced its way to the forefront and there was little appeasing it
>The sudden vertigo as you were ripped into a portal
>The harsh impact on the ground when you were spat out into equestria
>The daze of walking through the forest for a minute before your mind was clear enough
>Clear enough to notice them
>The webs in the trees
>The enormous webs
>Then the chittering
>It was following you
>The skittering of legs through the grass
>You ran
>But you were too slow
>You heard the thudding on the ground as it caught up to you and bowled you over
>You were flipped on your back and it was above you
>Its mandibles were clicking right in your face
>You didn't scream, the terror wouldn't let you
>It grabbed you and wrapped you up in its web, spinning you between it's legs
>You were trapped in the sticky silk, squirming, unable to move as it chittered above you
>Then it happened
>You grab at your stomach at the thought
>You feel it writhe beneath your hand
>It stabbed into your gut and you felt the slimey orbs go in soon after
>You want to vomit again at the thought
>But then there was a blast and you were dropped
>The webbing was torn off of you and you were picking up in a lavender aura
>She rushed you to hospital where the removed the eggs from inside you
>Then they sewed you up and sent you on your way
>That was your first day here
>You could always feel a little squirm in your stomach when you thought about it
>You were terrified they didn't get all of the eggs out of you
>But they had
>And you survived
>A tree off to your right creaks loudly snapping you out of your waking nightmare bringing you back to a different one
>You whip your head around
>Nothing
>You're shaking
>You take your arm and pull it into your chest with a large, deep, breath
>Hold
>You push your arm out along with the arm in your lungs and the thoughts in your head
>Just like Twilight taught you
>You push forward
>You start to notice broken twigs and trampled grass on the ground in front of you
>There's just enough that you think it might have been a pony who did it
>You begin to race in the direction of the tracks
>The further you get the more branches snag at your feet
>The more webs cling to your face and arms
>Your heart is beating faster than you've ever felt it
>You think it might burst
>You feel faint and every little noise cause more panic to flare up in your heart
>You move faster
>Further
>Until you see it
>There in the midst of the dense trees is a clearing
>And lying in the middle of it is a purple mare
>You sprint forward and press through the thick webbing now coating the ground to get to her
>Your head whips from side to side in a panic
>You don't see anything
>You check Twilight, there's a pulse, so slow you almost don't notice it
>You shake her but she doesn't move
>Terror grips your heart as you search her for a puncture wound
>Your worst fears aren't confirmed but you do see a wound
>Two small holes on her right fore hoof
>She was bitten
>The females don't do that, they don't need to
>It must have been a male trying to leave her for one of it's mates
>Then you hear it
>Chittering
>Alarms explode in your head and you grab Twilight and hoist her onto your shoulder
>You bolt
>You run faster than you've ever ran before
>Your legs are a machine built for nothing but terrorized flight as you pound your way through the forest
>Webs and branches snag at you almost tripping you but you stay up
>Your force yourself to run
>Harder and harder
>Running with mortal horror gripping your heart
>Wind is racing past your ears and everything in you is burning like acid was pumping through your veins but you kept running
>You didn't dare think about anything but the pumping of your legs and the fire scorching your lungs
>Then your foot snags
>You go sailing forward as you crash down hard onto your knee
>Twilight crumples on the ground before you in a heap as you drop her
>They're going to get you
>You whirl around waiting for the impending danger but nothing comes
>You try to move again but stopping had caused your legs to cramp leaving you writhing on the ground in pain
>Once your body settles you look up
>The trees are clear
>No webs in sight
>How far did you run?
>No time to think
>Still in the forest
>Have to go
>Have to move
>You push onto your feet and take a step
>Your knees explodes in pain as you step down on it sending a cry to your throat
>You force yourself to move
>Luckily Twilight landed on her back so it didn't seem like she was hurt from the fall
>You pick her up and begin to force yourself to move once again
>Your pace slowed drastically to a limp and several minutes pass as your struggle forward in agony
>A sound begins to emanate from in front of you as you follow the path
>You hear hoofs beating the earth
>Through the trees you spot the girls with spike riding on Applejack's back
>You collapse down onto your other knee as they get to you
>"Anon!"
>One of them calls to you, you don't know which
>You feel Twilight being lifted out of your arms via magic and as soon as she's gone the world begins to fade as the ground races up to your eyes before the world goes black

>You awake to pain in your knee and your head
>You try to move your legs and sore fire rips through your body
>You let out a groan as you start to take in your surroundings
>White sheets, white gown, white walls
>It looks like the forest isn't the only place you were revisiting today
>"Anon, you're awake."
>A somewhat weak voice to your left rings out
>You look over and see Twilight resting in a bed next to you
>A wave of relief washes over your soul as you take in her sight with a large sigh
"You're ok."
>"Thanks to you. I know what you did, the girls told me. I- I can't thank you enough."
"You're welcome."
>A long silence fills the room before you hear a soft sniffling to your left
>You look over and see Twilight quietly weeping to herself as tears roll down her face
>You don't know what to do for a long time but then it comes to you
>You clear your throat and she looks at you
"Twilight... do you want to talk about it?"
>She stares at you for a second before nodding and wiping away her tears before choking back another small sob
>And then you talked
>And it was better
>If only a little bit