goodbye blue

Yesterday, we said goodbye to Blue. He was surrounded by love and went peacefully.

On Friday, we received the diagnosis that Blue had a large spleen tumor with metastasis in his lungs. The prognosis was not promising and after discussing it with his original owners, we decided to bring him home for the night. My friends packed up and left immediately from Washington.

That night, Blue and I got to share a lovely steak dinner. Ribeyes, mid-rare, of course. Mostly, I just laid with him and talked. I thanked him for comforting me during times of distress, for teaching me so much about myself, and for being a constant, loyal companion I could always turn to.

Around 1AM, my friends arrived with their 2 kids and chigi, Muffin. Having them all there was a blessing and Blue was showered with affection. The excitement he showed towards Muffin and the tail wags he had for my friends were heartening. I knew that even though he was suffering and couldn't show it in the same ways, he was still there.

We stayed up for a few hours, reminiscing about Blue's origin story (he was found wandering in traffic on Blue Diamond Road in Las Vegas), his favorite activity of flat-out sprinting circles around the yard (he wouldn't even poop standing still!), and just how many people fell in love with him. Everyone wanted to adopt this dog, and I was the lucky winner.

I didn't sleep much that night, but I spent it right next to Blue on the floor. Looking back on it now, I'm so thankful we even had the opportunity to have this last night together.

The next morning was somber as the time ticked closer. We all knew that it was the right time, but that sure didn't make it any easier.

Blue's final moments with us were beautiful. I consider myself lucky that I got to be right by his side during them. Not everyone gets that opportunity.

I'm so thankful my friends were there with me. I simply would not have been able to cope with this in a healthy manner without them. Having their kids around was a great distraction too, but it also gave me this sense of peace with the flow of life. One ends and others begin anew.

My life after Blue starts today. He will always be with me, in memory, in spirit, in my actions. He made me a better person and I plan to spread his positive influence as much as possible.

Thank you again to everyone in my online circles, you all have given me just as much comfort as my friends here. I treasure your friendships, thank you for being there.

Thank you for reading this. It was difficult to write, but also therapeutic. I've still got a long road to acceptance, but if Blue taught me anything, it's to never give up, there are good people in this world who will pick you up off that road and carry you for a bit, if need be.

I love you all. <3