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- Spammer: You look cute 😍🌺😍🌺😍🌺
- Me: where are you?
- Spammer: Am [assshole] looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with 🌺😍🌺😍
- Me: I asked, where are you?
- Spammer: New York City and you
- [Guy is 5000 miles from NJ, right...]
- Me: Gondwanaland.
- Spammer: Do you have Google Hangouts application
- Me: Yes but I dropped it on the floor and broke it.
- Me: One of the splinters got in my foot and I had to go to the hospital.
- Me: so I can't use Hangouts anymore.
- Spammer: Can you add me on Google Hangouts application now
- Me: I don't want to touch all the broken glass.
- Spammer: Try it again
- Spammer: Just add me
- Me: they gave me such weird food at the hospital.
- Me: they had this gross stuff that looks like corn but tasted like turnips.
- Me: would you eat that?
- Spammer: Yes
- Spammer: Can you download Google Hangouts application again
- Me: I asked them to mail me another one but it's taking some time.
- Me: I have a mouthful of turnip corn at the time and maybe they didn't understand me.
- Spammer: Give me your text number.
- Me: I don't usually give that out, do you really need it?
- Spammer: Yes
- Me: I feel weird about doing that with someone I haven't met yet... last time someone made me glue gravel to my lampposts...
- Spammer: Can you download Google Hangouts application now
- Me: oh hang on I just got it...
- Me: hold on it just came in the mail.
- Spammer: Add me with [asshole]@gmail.com
- Spammer: Do you add me finish
- Me: give me a minute here...
- Spammer: Waiting
- Me: oh.
- Me: oh crap.
- Me: I asked for the left-handed version of the app and they sent me the right-handed version.
- Spammer: Do you add me
- Spammer: Give me your Gmail account on Google Hangouts application
- Me: no I can't install this version, I have to mail it back to them.
- Spammer: Download Google Hangouts application
- Spammer: Do you add me on Google Hangouts application
- Me: they sent it to me but it's not the left-handed version, it won't fit on my phone.
- Spammer: Which type of phone do you have
- Me: a Quadco Flammenwerfer. it runs Android .5 or so
- Spammer: Try it again
- Me: okay...
- Spammer: Waiting
- Me: let me just go get my screwdriver.
- Spammer: Do you download it finished
- Me: I tried it but it's the right handed version, I need the left-handed version. I'm going to strip the screws if I push it.
- Spammer: Give me your number
- Me: okay, hold on...
- Spammer: Waiting
- Me: two.
- Spammer: I don't understand
- Me: 6...
- Me: seven.
- Me: (sending the number bit by bit so scammers don't try to steal it.)
- Me: (9)
- Me: the eighth number...
- Me: seven
- Me: 42
- Me: nine.
- Me: 3.
- Me: did you get that?
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