- #gen3

[]vedr1: did I ever tell you how i once disappeaared the entire west wing

 - #mgchelp2

[]urur: Alright, could someone help me?
[M]qwas: with what
[]treoee: we can't do shit until you tell us the subject
[]goags: c'mon, the suspense is likking me
[]oban: > likking
[]goags: and you're a weeb
[M]qwas: goags, you fucking idiot, it's in the rules loud and clear, insulting people forbidden
[]goags: but it's true
[M]qwas: and you're truly an idiot, it's still forbidden
[]urur: nvm got it
[]treoee: every
[]treoee: FUCKING

 - #roguelikes

[M]tty: what's the best rogal based on stroika
[]ranced: MMV 3.2
[]sand: the calling
[A]eightfucksgiven: stroika

 - #gen4

[]urur: does anyone got any idea what are the dimensions of stroika
[]vnpa9n: what the fuck
[]oshid: > dimensions
[]asohas: 5.22
[]oshid: the hell does that even mean
[]urur: u know, width, height, lenght, I mean the building
[]gaof: why do you even ask such shit
[]urur: bc every time I look at it it like wibbles and shit and I can';t ever tell how big it is at a glance
[]vnpa9n: "wibbles" are you from the fucking south wing or what
[]asohas: we all are
[]oshid: idk, it's like 200 x 100 meters
[]urur: no way, it can't be this big
[M]nbz: that's what she said
[SERVER]: [M]nbz has been global-muted for 15 minutes by [A]eightfucksgiven for: "feel bad about your fucking jokes"
[]asohas: god efg delivering justice again
[SERVER]: []asohas has been muted on #gen4 for 1 minute by [A]eightfucksgiven for: "not kissing admin ass enough"
[]vnpa9n: stroika has to be bigger than this
[]gaof: it def isn't
[]gaof: if anything it's even smaller
[M]tuyabags: most of the time it's around 200 x 100
[]urur: ...
[]urur: what do you mean by most of the time

 - #politics1

[]trufsh: KILL THE COMMIES
[]bbsh: BASH THE FASH
[]azarv: KILL THE CUMMIES
[]qwas: BASH THE GASH
[]pagoi: TRILL THE TUMMIES
[]nbz: HASH THE KWASH
[]tty: ...
[SERVER]: []nbz has been global-muted for 150 minutes by [A]eightfucksgiven for: "no such word as KWASH"

---

The building was bizzare by any means. Dozens of architectural styles fought between each other for wall space, rooms jutted out of the main mass like noone's business, gutters abruptly stopped, fed themselves in a loop, or sometimes went straight through the building.

"What Royal Academy would look like if it got cancer" was a discription of "Stroika", as the building was affectionately called by almost everyone, that Tom got from his old classmates. As much as he expected it to be a grossly overexaggerated joke, he found it really hard not to agree.

It was also almost impossibly huge. He knew how the area roughly looked, he lived not too far from here after all, but Stroika never seemed to fit the surrounding geometry. From what he'd heard, it actually had utilized spatial anomalies as a part of construction design.

He never paid the building any close attention, with it having given him bad vibes since he was a wee kid, and assumed that spacial anomalies were an urban legend, like it being ruled by an underground ring of mephedrone smugglers, or it going for dozens of miles down beneath the ground. But after paying it closer attention, it almost sounded plausible.

Tom shook the unnerving feeling off, and walked towards the entrance. After all, no matter how much it creeped him out, it was the only place that would accept him for college.
It was kind of its schtick, educating over two thousand people in all matters technology, magic and magitech related, for free, without any admission tests. The learning curve being likened to a parabola was the only real catch, but that wouldn't deter Tom.

He gave a passing glance at the ornate label attached next to the main entrance, and stepped in.

*======================*
|                      |
|   MAGI-TECH COMMON   |
|       ACADEMY        |
|                      |
| "KNOWLEDGE TRAPPED   |
|  IN POWERLESS BOOKS  |
|  INSTEAD OF MINDS    |
|  OF THE CURIOUS      |
|  WILL BE OUR DEMISE" |
|                      |
|  ~PROF. I. STROIKA   |
|                      |
*======================*

---

 - #magic3

[]bnbads: how do mag-batteries work?
[GM]aster: cell full of vO2-v, voltage sent by the recipient makes the v -v pair detach from the oxygen and go into the wires
[]tty: so you need a normal battery to turn on the magic one?
[GM]aster: that's why modern mag batteries are a lib battery attached to the actual mag battery
[]yugg: smart
[GM]aster: that's nothinmg compared to progress in wand tech
[]asohas: wand tech?
[GM]aster: OH BOY WHERE TO EVEN BEGIN

 - #vent

[]bendaryl: what's the deal with camus
[]qwfas: the philosopher?
[]yab: ofc not
[]yab: kamus is what newbs call the Silver Man
[]qwfas: oh my god
[]qwfas: I thought I finally removed this fucking guy from my memory
[]bigob: what's the deal with him
[]yab: imagine the most fucking petty reason to call someone a knobhead
[]yab: imagine the person that thinks that reason is valid
[]bigob: sounds more funny than annoying tbh
[]yab: imagine if that person fucked himself into twenty three generations of inbreeding
[]phoit: what
[]yab: imagine if the result of that inbreeding joined a cult specifically dedicated to being as petty as possible
[]yab: Silver Man is the mother in law of that
[]phoit: this sounds delightful
[]yab: &bendaryl not even he knows what his fucking deal is
[]yab: iirc only three people in the recorded history passed his course with more than a C
[]yab: and he's been here for literal decades
[]bigob: that does sound annoying
[]bigob: why such low grades
[]qwfas: *hihg lol
[]yab: he failed my 1200 word essay because it was three words too long
[A]eightfucksgiven: camus is a pain in the ass to even assassinate
[]qwfas: efg, do you not fear god or at least the royal guard
[A]eightfucksgiven: i am god

 - #help

[]aobgabg: i'm lost
[M]poise: get used to it
[M]byhgv: can't help you if you don't even tell us the surroundings
[]aobgabg: it's underground, the hallway is very long, every like fifth light works
[M]poise: don't move from where you are
[]aobgabg: the doors are unmarked, can't see the end of the halfway
[M]poise: actually do run
[M]poise: as fast as you can
[M]poise: to your right
[]aobgabg: why!!?
[M]byhgv: old guy doesn't enjoy guests
[]aobgabg: old guy???
[M]poise: RUN.

---

Luna's class schedule got worse and worse every semester. It was true for all her friends, but especially for her. Classes spread so far apart that they took all day with not enough time inbetween them to get some actual grub that wasn't dried ramen.

The one positive thing about the schedule however, was that it allowed her to visit every corner of Stroika, even the most obscure and unknown ones. More often than not obscure for a good reason.

While this wouldn't be a positive thing in most places and for most people, Luna found it very enjoyable to marvel at the architectural mishmash that constituted Stroika, especially at the oldest parts, with very ornate decorations and glass chandeliers hanging every three meters.

This often led to style clashes that, in words of her friend, "were so fucking awful they became a miracle in themselves". Her favourite one was an almost completely undecorated concrete room used as a chemistry lab opening into a victorian hall thrice its size.

The fact that the concrete room was made before the hall made it even better.

---

 - #qmg

[]ctfvy: alright, I think I got it this time
[]ctfvy: thaums are the basic 'magic' particles with two unique quantum numbers, 'lightness' and 'direction', both of which are conserved most of the time but don't have to
[]ctfvy: these quantum numbers determine their properties, the most usual type of thaums, v, has lightness 1 and direction 1.
[]ctfvy: 'dark' magic particles have lightness -2 and direction 2, 'light' ones have lightness 2 and direction -2
[]ctfvy: and there are more kinds but they don't last for more than 10^-5s
[M]etag: C-

 - #vggen3

[]mfjn: why are you such fucking children
[]mfjn: git fucking gud instead of crying for nerfs over and over again
[]pboo: > literally an unevadeable attack with 0 windup
[]pboo: > git gud
[]mfjn: yea, git gud and stop whining
[]mfjn: back in my day these were the fucking norm and we enjoyed it
[M]sdnb: not our fault your parents didn't fucking love you and gave you some shitty jrpgs
[]mfjn: HYPER STAR TURBO SAGA 16 IS THE BEST FUCKING GAME YOU FUCKING IDIOT
[]mfjn:	WESTERN DEVS WILL NEVER EVER MATCH ITS PERFECTION
[SERVER] []mfjn has been banned from #vggen3 by [M]sdnb because of the following reason: "weebism"
[M]sdnb: do these people not have actual shit to do
[M]sdnb: like failing Silver Man's courses
[SERVER] []mfjn has been unbanned from #vggen3 by [A]eightfucksgiven because of the following reason "his salt fed me"
[M]sdnb: kill me
[SERVER] [M]mfjn has been made a moderator of #vggen3 by [A]eightfucksgiven
[SERVER] []sdnb has been banned from #vggen3 by [M]sdnb because of the following reason: "fuck this I'm out"

---

There was a rumor going around among Stroika's students that the university didn't have any maintenance staff. This rumor was obviously false, yet it lived on between the subsequent years of students for a simple reason: Noone has ever seen maintenance staff in the wild.

There were several reasons as to why, the foremost one was that there was simply not that much maintenace staff in the first place. Certainly much less than a building this size, or even quarter its size would need to keep on running.

Yet it did. As with many things in Stroika, almost noone knew exactly how exactly it did so, not even the maintenance staff itself, but day by day the college was clean, with bathrooms well stuffed with toilet paper, with no damaged technical equipment, and with fresh fruit on all teachers' desks.

Fruit costs were unaccounted for by the accountants.

In secret, the maintenance staff had very little to do. Mostly because by the time they've been made aware of an issue, it was already fixed by someone. At first, this sent the maintenance staff into furious fear, fear of some unknown party taking their jobs and for all of them, their only sources of income. But one of them proposed to keep quiet about it, and not let management know about the mysterious fixer. The plan worked out, management was convinced the maintenance were doing a stellar jobs, and proceeded to give themselves a raise.

They spent most of their worktime in one of the hidden rooms, which was very hard to stumble upon on accident, even when it was above the ground. Gossip and Poker ruled here, fueled by the cheapest cigs money could buy and endless boredom.

The men sat around the coffee table, thick cigarette smoke filling the air with the cheap ceiling fan not being nearly powerful enough to counteract the combined efforts of four chain smokers.

Worn out cards were shuffled around, people triumphed just to lose severely the next play, and little snippets of half lies, half imagination were swapped around readily, livening up the place. Such was the work time for all of the six men who were currently playing. Day in, day out.

For all, except for one.

---

 - #wondersofstroika

[]fvm: HOLY SHIT, Hekate just went so fucking savage I'm at loss of words
[]bendaryl: Hekate?
[]afkret: the old tiny prof that teaches elementalism in north wing
[]bendaryl: you mean the wicked witch?
[]afkret: that's a name I haven't heard in a while, but yea, her
[]afkret: what did she do this time, I've heard she can go so ham on people they leave and never come back, but didn't expect it to happen on the first day of the semester
[]fvm: so there was a girl in the class
[]fvm: some fucking hippy hipster type of shit
[M]b8nd: I like where this is going
[]fvm: with like a five armed star pendant and a lot of cutesy stuff with like element motifs
[]fvm: like something from a bad cartoon, all the wooey shit
[]fvm: like five minutes pass, hekate finally notices the girl
[]fvm: and you just instantly see hellfire in her eyes
[]pavabj: they say that if you look into her eyes you'll see the tortured souls of all students she ever failed
[]fvm: and she goes apeshit, runs up to the girl, starts assaulting her, calling her a bitch and shit, tearing the pendants and shit off
[]fvm: and then she had her monologue about how disrespectful she was
[]fvm: fuck someone wrote it down, brb
[M]b8nd: Hekate was my favourite fucking teacher in this entire school, unironically
[M]b8nd: she roasted everyone, could burn an assignment to crisp with her mind if she didn't like it, gave no shits at all
[M]b8nd: and everyone who passed got a fucking top notch elemental knowledge
[M]b8nd: plus she had a drink with us multiple times, all of them on her
[M]b8nd: I've seen her chug an entire bottle of vodka clear once
[M]b8nd: most wonderful sight I've ever seen
[]fvm: alright, I've got the transcript, it's here &&SERVERFILELINK:00001F5A2

 - #gen2

[]paib: my teacher is choking up on something, what do I do
[]bosjq2: what teacher
[]paib: some guy in a pinkish sweater and a fuckton of gray hair
[]agad: GO GO GO THEN
[]paib: GO WHAT
[]paib: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP WITH CHOKIGN
[]agad: GO STAB HIM WITH SOMETHING, TURBO'S MORTAL COIL IS ONLY VURNERABLE ONCE PER CENTURY, GO GO GO
[]paib: oh he got better
[]agad: FUUUUCKKK
[]agad: YOU HAD THE FUCKING CHANCE
[]agad: AND YOU SQUANDERED IT LIKE A DOG
[M]turbodick: the fuck are you on about
[]agad: TURBO IS A DEMON, A FUCKING DEMON, BUT NOONE CAN SEE IT, HE HAS CONTROL OVER YOU ALL
[M]turbodick: turbo is a tired old man with a 'turbo' written on his bag, what are you smoking and why are you vomiting it out in general
[]agad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

---

The greatest mystery about Stroika wasn't ever its spacial anomalies. They're actually very simple to explain and predict with the formulas taught in Stroika itself, with some minor adjustments. Even the maintenance, amongst the few students who knew that the staff wasn't actually doing anything there were several workable theories as to what was actually happening.

No, the biggest mystery was the public chat service.

Officially, it didn't exist. The public terminals were meant for information about the school and the courses. This wasn't a convenient lie, this was actually the case 40 or so years ago when they were first installed.

But then, not long after they were introduced, one of the terminals stopped working. And then, when it got fixed, it was running the chat program, or at least it's very early version. With time, it spread, 'infecting' all the terminals.

The administration tried to fight it, of course. System wipes were done on a daily basis to hopefully catch the hacker in broad daylight. But they didn't work. By the next day the terminals would be running the chat again. After a few weeks of this broken cat and mouse play, a compromise of sorts was reached.

Before then, the chat was nonfunctional, you just couldn't send any message. The chatroom itself was empty as well, making it truly an useless nuisance rather than a replacement. One day however, the chatroom, which would later become #gen1, had received its first ever message:

[A]: press esc + shift

Pressing the combination seemed to switch the terminal back to it's original functionality. Pressing it again brought the chat back. Administration stopped trying to fight it afterwards, althrough it never acknowledged it.

Another thing soon became apparent. The chat worked now.

Students flocked to the terminals day and night, loving the communication with random people it gave them, especially with the earliest version not having usernames and everyone being anonymous. Everyone, except the lone [A].

[A] was a strange person. He made it very clear that he made the chatroom and infected the computers with it. He took an endless pride in that fact, almost to the point of self parody. But at the same time, he was insanely secretive about himself, not without a good reason, as the administration would've loved to throw whoever made the chat through the window so fast they'd escape the Earth's gravitational pull.

Then, suddenly, it stopped working again. Borderline panic began to set in as students discussed what could've caused that. Was the [A] caught? Did the administration finally crack down on it? Were all the students who dared to use it in deep shit?

Not long after, the chatroom received it's first message in hours.

[A]eightfucksgiven: follow the white line to find your calling

---

 - #gen4

[]voav: fuck I'm missing a word
[]sabrqa: tf you mean by that
[]voav: like, I was writing a pm to someone
[]voav: I wanted to use a specific word but it just fucking went and gone from my head
[]ijdf: well, one good way to go about that would be to give us its meaning
[]sabrqa: ^^^
[]voav: the sensation of fear caused by the awareness that your death is imminent, without it's usual 'release' feeling
[]sabrqa: dread?
[]ijdf: doom?
[M]mmagns: don't know the word, but I know a sentence meeaning that, maybe it'll help?
[]voav: nah, neither of those
[]voav: I guess it's worth an attempt
[M]mmagns: sweet
[M]mmagns: "ladies and gentlemen, please take out a sheet of paper, a pen and put everything else in your bags"

 - #gen1

[]bapnb: and then he pulls out his immense, thick, deforester
[]agwa: is this the beginning of some copypasta
[]wueit: when is tits
[]pdg: this channel's quality is about to shoot higher than it ever has before, #hqprog is planning an invasion like now
[]sbuy: > invading #gen1
[]agwa: four hundred keks
[]miridian: I am a TRUE PERFECT FUNCTION ((M -> M) -> (M -> M)), your FiLtHy DIRTY uNCLEAN functions Can'T even bEgin to matCH the PERFECTION OF MY PERFECT FORM ((M -> M) -> (M -> M)), my FORM is the trUE ETERNAL PERFECTION, your FiLtHy (8 = (=.= =(=.= =(=.= D)))) funcTIONS are INFERIOR
[]abognao: I am a TRUE PERFECT FUNCTION ((M -> M) -> (M -> M)), your FiLtHy DIRTY uNCLEAN functions Can'T even bEgin to matCH the PERFECTION OF MY PERFECT FORM ((M -> M) -> (M -> M)), my FORM is the trUE ETERNAL PERFECTION, your FiLtHy (8 = (=.= =(=.= =(=.= D)))) funcTIONS are INFERIOR
[]pihol: I am a TRUE PERFECT FUNCTION ((M -> M) -> (M -> M)), your FiLtHy DIRTY uNCLEAN functions Can'T even bEgin to matCH the PERFECTION OF MY PERFECT FORM ((M -> M) -> (M -> M)), my FORM is the trUE ETERNAL PERFECTION, your FiLtHy (8 = (=.= =(=.= =(=.= D)))) funcTIONS are INFERIOR

 - #other

[]lsbgs: why is silver man called silver man
[]piuf: that takes me back
[]piuf: holy shit the silver man
[]piuf: is he still as bad as he was in the 90s?
[]yvik: if anything he's even worse
[]lsbgs: we all know how he is, where did that name come fomr
[]lsbgs: he isn't silver at all, bald isn't silver
[]akbvo: I think I know this tale
[]akbvo: it was 80s or something
[]akbvo: stroika was finally becoming something more than a running joke at the royal academy
[]akbvo: so the admins had to fucking ruin it
[]lsbgs: as is tradition it seems
[]akbvo: so they made some banners to advertise the hihg quality profs they stole from the royal academy with all their fucking money
[]akbvo: silver profs referred to a profs with 30 yrs of experience iirc
[]akbvo: and there were four of them, silver man, wicked witch, the fat man and uncle
[]piuf: there's no way fat man is this old
[M]tab: his endless supply of fat conserves his delicate face contours
[]yvik: yea, fat man is like almost 90 or so now
[]piuf: no way
[]piuf: just no way, he looked 35 when I studied there
[]akbvo: unfortunately, stroika couldn't afford to hire an actual artist to do their banners
[]akbvo: so thay made their own
[]akbvo: just a text "SILVER FACULTY" on the left with the four teachers on the right
[]piuf: oh god
[]akbvo: but they didn't leave enough place on the right to actually fit four people here
[]akbvo: so they just fucking took camus
[]akbvo: and smashed him inside the text so that his head poked through the U
[]piuf: ROLF
[]lsbgs: OH GOD
[M]tab: jesus fuck
[]akbvo: this isn't the end
[]akbvo: being so fucking proud of themselves
[]akbvo: THEY TINTED HIS FUCKING SKIN SIVLER TO FIT THE TEXT
[]piuf: HAHHAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHAHAH
[]akbvo: hence, silver man
[]lsbgs: why did I choose this school
[M]tab: this is a question every one who has ever stepped a foot in it asks himself daily

---

One thing Stroika was moderately successful at however, was masking its steps.

Sometimes, students got lost inside it, which, considering its frail 3 dimensional spatial stability, wasn't anything out of the ordinary. What was unordinary however, was finding them dead.

In any other school, this would've resulted in a city-wide panic. School murderer on the loose, call the Archons of the Royal Guard to scour every nook and cranny in search of the murderer, even if it would take months and burn through millions in city budget.

In Stroika however, it just... happened. People just died sometimes, didn't they? Turning up dead, usually by blunt trauma to the head in some obscure tunnel was the most normal thing in the world. The fact that maintenance staff was unofficially instructed to hide the bodies from the view certainly helped.

People often wondered whether, if they'd gone missing, would anyone go and search for them? How could they be so simply forgotten, like a faceless passerby? It's absurd, of course someone is *ought to* look for me, right? Even if not their classmates, their parents would obviously step up, right?

None ever did.

Parents would be visited by a man in an ill fitting suit, and the whole thing would just be erased the very next day. That's assuming they even had parents. I guess one plus of your school being the butt of a city-wide joke, is that the parents of the students are very easy to bribe to keep their mouths shut.

And every time, the dean would lose another fistful of hair and several nights worth of sleep. The money wasn't ever the problem, not a single time in all the dozen murders thoughout the years.

It was always the knowledge that he could've prevented them, but didn't.

---

 - #magic3

[]bnbads: &[GM]aster, you mentioned something about wand tech the other time, mind telling some more stuff since I'm curious
[GM]aster: oh yea, I recall your face
[GM]aster: the problem with wands is that it's awfully hard to give all the various subfields justice in any reasonable amount of time, and believe me ,there are a lot of them
[GM]aster: guess I'll have to start from the basics
[]bnbads: ok
[GM]aster: question number one: what is a wand?
[]iaghb: something you use to anally stimulate our god admin while he takes a dump on you?
[]bnbads: a thing to strengthen the power and focus the spells you cast?
[SERVER]: []iaghb has been banned from #magic3 by [GM]aster for the following reason: "&&SERVERFILELINK:00000B70B"
[]opert: ./fopen 00000B70B
[LOCAL]: "Ｂｉｔｃｈ Ｈｏｌｄ Ｏｏｏｏｏｏｏｏｏｏｏｎ"
[GM]aster: close enough definiton for everyday use, yeah
[GM]aster: in wandology (yes this is the scientific name for it stfu before I turbo ban you) wand is a produded piece of more thaumo-conducting medium surrounded from the sides but not the ends by a more thaumo-isolating medium
[GM]aster: this terminology opens it up to situations which are considered very unusual in everyday experience but nonetheless affect the thaumophysical calculations
[]bnbads: like what?
[GM]aster: while normally considered not an 'actual' wand, sticks are wands, so are lightning bolts, so are t-conductive bullets, so are some naturally forming crystal formations
[GM]aster: but back to the practical use, the bigger difference in conductivity between the inner medium and the outer medium the better the wand will be as a tool to focus spells coming through it
[GM]aster: it's measured in Svensons, or Tmu as a symbol, it's a logarythmic unit, so a medium with Tmu of 2 conducts magic Fidos constant (~4.77) times better than medium with Tmu of 1
[GM]aster: 0 is the thaumic conductance of vacuum
[GM]aster: it's extremely low, so low it poses health risks for mages in space but more on that another time
[GM]aster: Tdf is the difference of Tmu of inner medium and outer medium, and top tier wands reach Tdf of say, 5.1
[GM]aster: we could easily go much higher, the most thaumically conductive material ever made has Tmu of 9.5 and the least -0.7
[GM]aster: the problem is that the wand make of them would kill the caster by vaporizing them in two different ways in a fraction of a second
[]vas: what

 - #

[]oiub: oh god is this it
[]oiub: YES I DID IT
[]oiub: THE LEGENDARY CHANNEL 0
[]oiub ./chandata -here
[LOCAL]: Channel Name: "" | Channel ID: 0 | Channel Owner: []test | Channel Moderators: []test | Creation Date: 1-1-1970 00:00:00
[]woettg: good luck on foolowing some guide you found on #random you idiot
[]woettg: want a medal for that
[]pobab: yea, channel 0 is common knowledge now
[]oiub: fuck off this is still amazing
[]qogb: yea, I wonder what is it for
[]qogb: I tried scrolling up but it's impossible, most of the commands don't work here, and you don't seem to be able to normally change your channel in this tab
[]oiub: maybe this is where efg hosts the rituals to make him a true god
[]woettg: stop reading #onetrueefg and kys please and thank you
[A]eightfucksgiven: the moment I fix the bug that allows you to enter here at all you're all getting banned from existence

 - #gen5

[]tqer: who would win: one fat man vs seven upstanding citizens
[]cheese: ah fuck off this is too difficult
[]cheese: fat man stomps by consuming all citizens unless you give the citizens a bottle of viagra and a constitution printed on fucking silk then they win by ramming the fat man with their pneumatically charged dicks adorned with schmitt triggers and water current inducting condensators
[M]virt: cheese, who hurt you to make you like this
[]cheese: when I was akid my mom dropped me into a cauldron of monostable multivibrators
[]cheese: mixed with battery acid
[M]virt: cheese, we all want to help you, but you're not making this easy
[]cheese: but I'm fine lol
[]eoats: you deliberately fell down three flights on stairs for the kicks thrice in last two weeks
[]eoats: plus you literlaly punch walls at random
[]cheese: you gotta express your sexual energy somehow
[M]virt: petition for efg to fund cheese a gf
[]cheese: women don't interest me, they don't have enough ac phases for me, 4 is a reasonable minimuym with 9 being optimal with concrete based resistors
[M]virt: blink twice if you need help
[]cheese: :blink: :blonk: :thonk: :thenkeng:

---

Every user of the chat asks themselves who [A]eightfucksgiven is at some point. It's unavoidable. Usually, this is as far as their inquiry goes, there are after all many more interesting things to ponder about than an identity of an emotionally immature chat admin, but some users congregate on various channels to try to figure out who 'efg' is.

Sometimes, they're even right.

Almost noone goes beyond this point. Losing an account is painful enough, with them costing ten bucks each, making that a good deterrent from mousing around too deeply.

Losing one's life is an even better one.

---

The man stared at the monitors sprawled in front of him, this fingers a blur as they typed faster than most people could imagine, and switching from channel to channel just in time to catch some juicy piece of drama or something he could ban them for. It was a dull life, staring at screens for hours, trying to behave like a human being in presence of others but failing mightily, and occassionally taking a sip at his cup before coming back to mod abuse, with some coding sprinkled in to keep the chatroom alive.

He wouldn't have traded it for any other life.

If there was one thing that nothing in life could beat it was the feeling of domination, having people forced to do your whims or suffer greatly as a consequence, being a god, handing out hell or heaven without anyone to pass judgement upon you for fear of being punished.

It satisfied him deeply.

However, despite how deeply fulfilling cyber domination was, it was an exception to an old and tested rule, an exception that make [A]eightfucksgiven's life so much more enjoyable.

Namely, that "everything on stroika chat is better than irl version of it".

---

 - #vggen4

[]pbirt: you fucking idiot of course DAS 3 is the best one
[]pbirt: 4 and five were simplified for casuals to fucking death, you don't even need to manually set up your system page table to get it to run anymore smh
[]ytesv: are you for fucking real
[]pbirt: you mad you fucking noob?
[]pbirt: bet you don't even play the jap versions and the pussyfied english ones like the bitch you are
[]ytesv: MOOOOOOODS
[M]tyew: fuck off i'm wanking off
[]pbirt: and you also fucking use magic, all the fucking noobs use magic, BET YOU ALSO USE HEALING ITEMS
[]pbirt: THAT'S WHAT FUCKING WRONG WITH GAMING ANYMORE, EVERYONE IS A PUSSY WHO NEEDS EVERYTHING SPOONFED TO THE M BECAUSE THEY'R ETOO STUPID TO ACTUALLY GET GOOD
[]ytesv: you do realize you're talking about a visual novel right
[]sfrog: YES YES YES HAHAHAH HAHAH HA HASHGASHFAS Q HHAHA HAHAHAHHAHH DHAHFHAHHAHAHAAHAH
[]ytesv: did you just have a stroke
[]sfrog: NAMELESS TERROR BEATEN WIT HA LEVEL -9 CHARACTER OH MY FUCKIGN GOD
[]sfrog: I LOST COUNT OF THE ATTEMPTS AFTER 300TH ONE
[]pbirt: &ytesv FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU RETARD FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
[SERVER] []pbirt has been banned from #vggen4 by [M]tyew because of the following reason: "interrupting modjerk time"
[]ytesv: how the fuck do you even get a level -9 character in any game
[]sfrog: alright give me a second to catch my breath
[]sfrog: i'm fine, give me a sec to write it down
[]sfrog: you start the game with an accursed, the class that loses a level every time you die and is meant for showing off just how painful you can make the game for youself yet still go through it to show off to people because of the toxic masculinity. there's a ring in the game that makes it so that you don't fully 'die' on death but  is one time use only. if you wear the ring and die as the accursed you don't lose your level. however, the game remembers that you died and will take 2 levels from you on your next death. and it doesn't stop to check if it can  take more than 1 level away. so what you do, is level up to level 2, dupe the ring 9 times, die with it 10 times, and then die again so your level drops from 2 to -9, you could go further but if your level is less than -9 your game crashes on character select
[]sfrog: needless to say, with how important having level appropriate stuff is in this game being so hilariously underleveled makes it living hell
[]sfrog: everything hurts

 - #gen3

[]auyg: &demon, you told me you're gonna tell me how the tale of how did you become a global mod with how much of a meme you are
[]iulm: he sucked his way to modship
[]iulm: duh, everyone knows that
[GM]demon: I sucked my way to modship, eveyone knows the story, cmon
[]auyg: I'm new and genuinely don't know it, pls tell me
[]auyg: will pay in
[]auyg: gratitude?
[GM]demon: at least you're fucking honest haha
[GM]demon: alright, where to start
[]ukgv: from the nutsack of course
[SERVER]: []ukgv has been muted on #gen4 for 1000000000 minutes by [GM]demon for: "really makes you :Thenkeng:"
[GM]demon: so, it started like 9 years ago or so
[GM]demon: everyone was wasted and shitposting on I think #writinggen6 or something becaues that channel is basically dead 99% of the time
[GM]demon: I was there, efg was there, like more than a half of the current gm and admin team were fucking around there that evening
[GM]demon: so I went and straight out asked efg what do I do to get a global mod
[GM]demon: and he told me off with "suck a 100 dicks and you'll get a mod"
[GM]demon: and because I was drunk and generally a wanker back then, I decided to take on the offer
[GM]demon: so, for the following 3 years, I put out adverts that I'd pay people 5 bucks to suck their dick if they allowed me to take a pic of it as a proof
[GM]demon: that's right, I fucking paid people to suck their dicks, that's how much of a shithead I was
[GM]demon: I met a lot of really really interesting people this way, so I'm still thankful I did it
[GM]demon: so, three years later I finally completed my goal of sucking off 100 people
[GM]demon: I track down efg irl
[GM]demon: I show up to his fucking house
[GM]demon: he asks me, gently as he does, who the fuck am I and how much do I want to suffer before he guts me
[GM]demon: so I throw the stack of 100 photos in his general direction and say: "HERE'S YOUR HUNDRED DICKS NOW MAKE ME A GLOBAL MOD"
[GM]demon: he takes a while to comprehend what just happened and tells me to fuck off
[GM]demon: I go back to the dorm
[GM]demon: wake up next day
[GM]demon: check the chat
[GM]demon: I'm a global mod
[GM]demon: efg refuses to talk to me ever since lmao

---

Stroika had many traditions, as is usual for academic institutions of its age. Some were fairly ordinary, like not using the last stall of all toilets, because they were locked and were said to be holding literal skeletons inside.

In reality, a skull or two were all you could really find there most of the time.

Among some of the less comprehensible traditions of Stroika were so called "Funtimes". Contrary to what they might suggest from the name, they weren't focused on bullying or negging. Instead, "Funtimes" was a time of the year, usually starting in late November and ending in early January.

During that time of the year, second years of some schools of magic were studying spatial and temporal anomalies, including their control and creation. Cue the students' chagrin when they learned personal teleportation was 100% absolutely forbidden anywhere near Stroika. And as opposed to most managemential decisions there, this one was actually reasonable.

However, the fixed spatial anomalies used that made the building work really didn't like any other anomalies being created. It "upsetted" them, for lack of a better nontechnical word, and caused them to go haywire even more than usual. Hence, the Funtimes, the only time of the year where you can open a door and see yourself looking through that exact same door looking at yourself looking through that exact same door, over and over. And not see absolutely anything out of the ordinary when you looked back.

Of course, not everyone could stand stuff like that. The dropout rate quadrupled during the Funtimes, and student performance dropped in general because of having to deal with not just the faculty and the material, but even the noneuclidean geometry of the place being against them.

But those who did stay had an opportunity to enjoy some of the most baffling sort of entertainment the entire capital had to offer. Such as the so called "Blanking", which had you throw a dart at a random wall of your room without looking and listen for any "OWWW"s. Some people managed to land every third shot, and, legendarily enough, even the mighty efg himself became the target of one multiple times, judging from his random incoherent ramblings, easily lasting hours which seemed to only occur during the Funtimes.

Another very popular "game" of sorts was the Endless Run, where you closed your eyes, put a hand in front of you for amortization and ran through the nearest doors. The longer you ran for before hitting something the better.

The standing record is over ten minutes.

The Funtimes, for as much free entertainment and schadenfreunde they provided, had a darker underbelly however. Sometimes, when the spatial coherence of Stroika was strained sufficiently hard, some areas of it simply vanished, most of the time coming back several hours later, with their occupants unaware of the missing time, at least up until their biological clocks realized something ain't right. Thankfully enough, almost always these sorts of disappearances stabilized themselves in less than a day, with none of them being permanent.

Almost none.

---

 - #____________7

[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[A]eightfucksgiven: Stop that.
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[A]eightfucksgiven: You fucking know damn well why.
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[A]eightfucksgiven: Of course you will.
[A]eightfucksgiven: You always do.
[A]eightfucksgiven: Doesn't mean I'll ever stop.
[A]eightfucksgiven: Even I have my standards.
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[A]eightfucksgiven: Unwillingness to end my life isn't pretending.
[A]eightfucksgiven: Besides, I'm not doing this for some greater good.
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[A]eightfucksgiven: For all the shit I've done, at least I'm not you.
[]9ed23ca0124: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[]6fb583abcd9: [EXPUNGED BY AN ADMIN]
[A]eightfucksgiven: They're innocent.
[]6fb583abcd9: So were yours.
[SERVER] []9ed23ca0124 has been globalbanned by [A]eightfucksgiven because of the following reason: ""
[SERVER] []6fb583abcd9 has been globalbanned by [A]eightfucksgiven because of the following reason: ""
[SERVER] #____________7 has been closed by [A]eightfucksgiven.

 - #weebshit8

[]aulawaf: I'm new here, why are all the anime and manga channels named "weebshit"
[M]pippo: very long story
[M]augen: dating back to the very beginning of the stoika chat in fact
[]aulawaf: wooow
[]aulawaf: I'm all ears
[M]tybrus: efg being a fucking meme, that's long and short of it
[]aulawaf: what??
[]aulawaf: sorry, is this some runnign joke I'm not getting or what :flustered:
[M]pippo: have you ever read the global rules?
[]aulawaf: stroika chat has global rules?
[M]pippo: yea, use "./rules"
[]aulawaf: ./rules
[LOCAL]:
	THE GREAT STROIKA CHAT GLOBAL RULES, GO FUCK YOURSELF
1. No illegal shit
1.1. No illegal shit under the Vitrilian law
2. Admins are gods
3. Global Mods are lesser gods
4. Mods are dogs
5. Weeb shit forbidden

Last updated: 11-04-1997, 01:29:45 AM
[]aulawaf: sorry, I still don't get it
[M]pippo: "Weeb shit forbidden"
[]aulawaf: what does that mean, isn't this channel, well, literally weeb shit?
[M]augen: the rule means that all anime and manga related content and discussion are a banworthy crime
[]aulawaf: so how is this channel on then??
[]aulawaf: WHAT IS GOING ON
[]aulawaf: I DON'T GET IT AAAA IT'S SCARY
[M]pippo: shut up and listen
[M]pippo: yea, weeb stuff was banned since the beginning, which naturally didn't prevent weeb discussions actually happening
[M]pippo: which resulted in bans
[M]augen: which resulted in extreme salt
[M]pippo: so, after hundreds of banned accounts because of this our fucking weeb god &disjo managed to make a deal with the devil
[]aulawaf: devil!??!?/
[M]augen: efg
[]aulawaf: WHO is efg why is everything here SO STRANGE AND SCARY
[M]tybrus: [A]eightfucksgiven, the guy who made the entire chat, that's efg you dolt
[M]pippo: anyway, disjo made a deal with the devil which resulted in an unofficial attendum of "efg will never ever visit #weebshit so that he can't ban people for well, weeb shit from it"
[M]tybrus: and then someone got cheeky and made #weebshit2 and somehow weeb talk didn't get banned there either
[M]augen: so we just added more and more weebshit channels to accomodate the growth, I think we have like 34 weebshit channels right now
[]aulawaf: WOW THAT's a lot
[M]pippo: most are dead anyway lol
[M]disjo: sup
[M]pippo: hey disjo, I was telling the noob how you slayed the dragon and created our eden
[M]disjo: yea I see
[M]pippo: got anything to add to what was told?
[M]disjo: actually yea
[M]disjo: my ass still hurts after that

---

Mr. Sullivan's life was bland, uneventful, and deeply unfulfilling.

He preferred it this way.

His only claim to fame, or any sort of public acknowledgement, was owning a small grocery shop placed right next to Stroika's main entrance. He considered it both a blessing and a curse.

The blessing consisted of the ungodly amount of money this location gave him, easily thrice the amount expected for such a tiny shop, as well as mostly regular set of clients, as no sane person would venture this close to Stroika just to grab a snack or a beer. The curse was his regular set of clients as well as the location's effects on his psyche.

While most clients were just students with varying amounts of facial hair and invariably tiny wallets, some of them burned, or rather scarred, their place in his mind, making their regular arrivals a kind of a ritual, one closer in spirit to a ritual sacrifice, mostly of Mr. Sullivan's sanity, than anything else.

He could name few of them off the cuff. There was the crutch guy, for instance. He was old. He stunk. He babbled to himself constantly and in a normal talking voice. His left eye didn't seem to be concerned with what the right one was looking at. He had a crutch. Mr. Sullivan avoided any deeper observations than this for the fear that the person being observed would come to haunt him in his dreams. To his chagrin, this safety precaution didn't seem to work.

As annoying crutch guy was to be within a hundred feet of, at least he had a regular shopping list, so regular in fact that Mr. Sullivan figured out a way to make him go away approximately 18% faster on average just by placing the items he always buys on the most visible shelves. The items in question being 12 cans of the absolute cheapest beer-branded piss available, as well as a pack of equally cheap mints. He would come every other day at 7:24 PM. Exactly 7:24 PM. For the last 25 years, without fail. They haven't exchanged a single word in that time. A statistic that Mr. Sullivan was proud of.

Other unfortunate regular was a person Mr. Sullivan called "Shut Up". Every friday evening, Shut Up would stroll in in his wheelchair, and try to chat him up while selecting snacks for consumption later on. This process would often last for 20 minutes. Every second past the 6th minute was a battle for Mr. Sullivan not to shoot Shut Up, followed by himself. Shut Up asked questions about everything while shopping. New snacks, new drinks, the weather, Mr. Sullivan's day, Mr. Sullivan's family, why was Mr. Sullivan holding his gun, and the most annoyingly, why was everything so expensive. Mr. Sullivan's flat, toneless responses didn't ever seem to discourage him one bit.

Fortunately, sometimes there were also good clients. Swift, fast, efficient, and quiet. Most of Stroika's Teaching Inmates were of this variety.

But every time they weren't, Mr. Sullivan had an painful reminder that he always left all the ammunition at home.

---

 - #support

[]yura: but you know, that's just the shit you gotta do
[]opbvi: I know, I know, but
[]opbvi: fuck
[]opbvi: this is so fucking infuriating
[]rest: indeed, but unfortunately annoyance won't help much
[]yura: neither will responses like this one
[]opbvi: why do all the fucking teachers here have to have something fucked about them
[]opbvi: silver man is anal about everything, way more than even his fucking discipline of METROLOGY gives him any right to be, crone apparently slept through the invention of the internet and has us memorize pages upon pages of material properties down to the third digit, birch wastes lessons on his deluded conspiracies and then tests the material he didn't even conver, and
[]opbvi: fuck man
[]yura: I def feel you man
[]opbvi: I wish I ould just rIp ThEiR eYeS oUf THeIr SoCkEtS anD dRInK tHGeIR BLOoD
[]yura: uh
[]yura: you alright there?
[]opbvi: I don't know what are you talking about
{}yUrA: i WaS reFFeRiNG tO ThE JUST feAST
[]opbvi: WHAT THE FUCK
[]opbvi: what is happening
[]yura: I don't know, what the fuck
(]0pbvI: sOMEonE nEedS tO CaLL eFg, FoR thE fEAsT hAtH COMetH
][yoORRA; |nDE3d f0R tHE Blo0D mUSt fLoW
[A]eightfucksgiven: ./halt -ci
[SERVER] Channel #support halTeeeEEEeeEd
[A]eightfucksgiven: alright you fucks, come out
fOR whhhhY, ThE DARK loRd
[A]eightfucksgiven: let me guess, someone left your cupboard near the server room, didn't they
.,..'.
yES
[A]eightfucksgiven: fuck me, how many fucking times did I tell them already to not leave the rusty metal cupboard that literally has "WARNING: DEMONS INSIDE, DON'T LEAVE NEAR ELECTRONIC DEVICES" sticker on it anywhere near the server room
eXaCTlY seVEnTeEn, oH THe dEVoUrER
aND tHE StiCKEr feLL off
[A]eightfucksgiven: fan fucking tastic, another thing to deal with
[A]eightfucksgiven: I'm coming back in two minutes, if you're still here after this time I'm bringing out the sledgehammer
tHiS iS UNfAIR
[A]eightfucksgiven: fairness is reserved for living things
foR isT ThoUGHt NoT lifE;s eSSenc3?
fOrGET iT
WhISt?!??
aCHtFu;CksGVen iST OF RigHT wILL nIChsT
hICHte mINd cLouDeD by=Y HAThE
[A]eightfucksgiven: in ten seconds your mind will be clouded by my percussive maintenance
dIckWAD
hURtS
[A]eightfucksgiven: alright, we done yet?
[A]eightfucksgiven: seems like so
[A]eightfucksgiven: ./halt -nci
[SERVER] Channel #support resumed.

 - #hqprog

[]bsdvs: umm, hello
[]ipuva: hello wor- ah forget it
[M]miridian: hi
[]bsdvs: so I saw your raid on #gen1 the other day and was curious what did all that text refer to
[]pihol: hah
[]pihol: the true perfect function one?
[]bsdvs: I think yea
[M]miridian: have you ever heard of the wondrous person, true angel of perfect spirit that is []robby?
[]bsdvs: I don't think so, no
[]pihol: boy you've been missing out on some of the best shit around
[]bsdvs: what's the deal with them then
[M]miridian: one sunny, no wait, it was raining and the weather was shite that whole week
[M]miridian: so anyway, this dude, []robby shows up, and starts talking about some out there shit
[M]miridian: like, about how there's a secret ring of tech lobbyists, who are also aliens, but also have kids and spouses, that are hiding the "true" functional programming from us
[]pihol: and he just fucking went on
[]pihol: and on
[]pihol: and then he came back the next day
[]pihol: and did it again
[]pihol: and more fun stuff came out
[M]miridian: yea, he spent hours in here, and like, by the third day everyone has warmed up to him
[M]miridian: his shit was so out there everyone has started parodying it, and he got so happy because he thought we agreed with him
[]ipuva: I remember that, it was so fucking adorable
[]ipuva: he got so happy about it bc people shitposted about it
[M]miridian: []robby is our server pet any half of the server's spirit animal
[]pihol: and we assembled the copypasta from his ramblings
[]bsdvs: oh, that explains it, sounds like a fun guy
[]ipuva: remember when we helped him find the alien?
[M]miridian: OH GOD THE ALIEN
[]bsdvs:  what alien?
[]ipuva: strap yourself in kiddo
[]ipuva: this one's gonna be something
[M]miridian: so, in his ramblings, he sometimes mentioned that a particular alien was following him, like actually stalking him around
[]pihol: so natually eveyone got worried for him
[]pihol: like, actually worried
[]pihol: bc he gave more and mroe precise discriptions and tales of his close calls
[]pihol: and we were afraid what was actually going on
[M]miridian: then, one time, someone pinged half of the server at once, everyone was for theeir blood, and then they post a photo of something
[M]miridian: that thing matched []robby's discription of the alien perfectly, like even the stuff we thought was just an analogy was there
[]pihol: it was an old lamp post
[]pihol: and like 5 minutes later the guy found robby himself, wandering around, confused
[]pihol: so he took him back to his home, robby turned out to be some rando in his thirties who likes to wander out of his caretaker's sight
[]pihol: caretaker thanked him, and it was wholesome
[]bsdvs: aww

---

There was once a teacher in Stroika. Her name was Ms. Puftriss. Everybody hated her.

Scratch that whole thing.

Ekhm.

There was once a demonic being plaguing schools and colleges all across The Piss-Gold City of Vitrilia. It manifested as a teacher calling herself Ms. Puftriss. Everybody hated her, not without a reason.

Her entire schtick was having lower wage requirements than any other teacher, or for that matter, any other living person aware of housing costs in the capital. So low that, after someone crunched all the numbers, it was deemed to be not enough to even afford food. It's speculated that she fed on pain of her students.

Her other schtick was working part time in every other school in the capital. Grade school, high school or even colleges, wherever there was a need for a physics teacher and administration too greedy to resist what obviously was a contract with a catch to it, she manifested here, bringing cheap education and endless suffering.

The catch of her contract, abusing multiple loopholes of royal worker's law, made her essentially unfireable. Whoever tried, she treated with her team of lawyers. Wherever she went, she stayed there for good.

As to the effects she had on her students, it soon became hard to differentiate fable from fact. Reportedly, she had driven over twenty students to suicide by means of constant emotional abuse in class. Because of the impossibility of getting rid of her, schools recommended that students, including 3rd graders, grow a thicker skin and stop being so whiny. After all, a teacher repeatedly calling you a mistake and a failure, going so far as to fail every test you take for the slightest of mistakes and because of that, your entire year, because you failed to solve an extracurricular task quickly enough, was easily enough a thing you could just shrug off at the age of ten.

And then, one day, she died.

She was teaching in Stroika at that moment. One second, she was writing something on the blackboard while shouting how awful kids these days were to the tune of twenty twenty-something students whimpering at her every sound, the next, she was clutching her heart on the floor making noises no human should ever be able to make.

The second her lawyers heard of her passing, they all took a two-week holiday to the monasteries of far east. Not a single one had yet returned.

Stroika was confused as to what to do with her body. No relatives had shown up for it. There were no lawyers left willing to touch her with a ten mile stick. According to the law, it was Stroika's duty to plan her funeral, and the Royal Vaults would pay them the costs back. Within twenty minutes of news of Stroika's newfound responsibility hitting the public chat, there was already a ready plan, including all the costs and contracts.

The administration accepted it gladly, not wanting to deal with her either.

The news spread fast. While in ordinary circumstances, Stroika doing anything in public would cause at best a pitiful laugh and at worst a public outcry, in this particular case they were given the benefit of the doubt. The official plan of the funeral was released soon after, the whole shebang starting next sunday, at 9 am.

In the middle of city's largest square.

---

The morning was same as any other february morning in Vitrilia. It was cold as shit, cloudy as fuck and it rained profusely.

In the middle of the plaza, in front of the House of Commons, a sizeable group has appeared, most of them wearing eye-gouging-lime safety-vests, the most recognizeable sign of being a student from Stroika, all in a semicircle around a coffin with not a single flower on it, and with a priest on the opposite side. The group grew as the remaining time passed, teachers, students and their families joining in, anticipating the nonsense that would inevitably ensue with Stroika taking part in the production of the funeral.

At ten to nine, a small orchestra began to set up behind the priest.

At three to nine, pall-bearers showed up, all one of them, dressed in a wife beater and rubber flip flops. And only these two articles of clothing.

Then, the ceremony began.

The priest waited for the now massive crowd to die down and then began his speech.

"On this day, we shall honor the late Ms. Phyllis Puftriss, and let her soul depart to the Beyond, to be once again, part of the All."

He waited several moments in silence, and then continued.

"Actually, we won't. Fuck her. Take that thing away from me."

The orchestra began playing an unbeat marching tune, the pall-bearer picked up the coffin, and the safety vest crowd started singing their scrupulously memorized song as the whole shebang marched in an unknown direction:

"DING-DONG, THE B*TCH IS DEAD, RAH RAH RAH RAH-RAH,
SO LONG, FUCK YOU, AND ALL THE FISH, LAH LAH LAH LAH-LAH,
GO BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING C*NT, DAH DAH DAH DAH-DAH"

Stroika wasn't known for its musical talents.

After approximately twenty seconds, everyone was continuing the song their own way as they marched in what people started realizing was the direction to the nearest bridge.

Roads were blocked, tires were slashed and drivers beaten up, but it seemed that noone could prevent the impromptu demonstration from getting to their destination.

After approximately ten minutes, they had reached their goal, the Lesser Bridge, named after being larger of the two major bridges and king at the time having some complexes.

Without skipping a heartbeat, someone had produced a container of gasoline and a lighter, and the coffin was set on fire, and subsequently thrown off the bridge.

They forgot to actually lock the thing up, and the body fell out mid flight.

Nobody noticed.

---

 - #mggen2

[]poius: yes, minus-minus-null-minus is the heat travector, as far as common usage is concerned
[]uoya: so if you apply a LWF of [-1, -1, 0, -1] onto the surface, you'll just heat it up?
[]poius: yep
[GM]aster: HOLY FUCK THEY JUST SOLVED THE TAHAKOROV'S PROBLEM
[]uoya: what
[]poius: Tahakorov had a problem named after him?
[GM]aster: OMG OMG OMG
[GM]aster: THE FUCKING PROOF FIFTY YEARS IN MAKING
[GM]aster: TAHAKOROV'S PROBLEM IS ALSO KNOWN AS THE "HYPERREDUCED MATTER PARADOX", LOOK IT UP
[]uoya: I comprehend like the first equation maybe, and there are ten pages of them
[]poius: yea, I can't find any decent explanation of it, mind blessing us with some knowledge aster?
[GM]aster: alright
[GM]aster: gimme a sec I'm talking in twelve chats at once
[GM]aster: alright I'm back, what did you two want
[GM]aster: ah, an explanation
[GM]aster: so basically, tahakorov's problem arises because it's an intersection of two unrelated thaumophysical theories, quantum thaumodynamics and unified thaumoelectric theory, former working at quantum scales second at macro scales
[GM]aster: the problem itself asks what the fuck happens when you take a grain of a material with 0 thaumoresistance and very good thaumoconductivity and apply a fuckton, an absolute fuckton of magical power to it
[GM]aster: qtd predicts a degenerate matter of sorts forming out of that for a split second, and then it starts glowing like a motherfucker for another split second, and then it blows up
[GM]aster: utt predicts it doing absolutely nothing
[GM]aster: I'm reading the paper as I write this, but
[]uoya: so, which one happened?
[GM]aster: neither
[GM]aster: it instantly blew up much harder than anyone expected and almost killed a researcher
[]poius: so, same as everyday?
[GM]aster: yep

 - #gen1

[]iustr: so you fucks, what about some singing practices?
[]piauvbs: so yea, you see how shit t hat was
[]bqas: what singing?
[]iustr: i say a word and every next person adds another word
[]uyhgc: sounds fine\
[]wusad: sucks man
[]iustr: THE
[]asaaa: HILLS
[]piauvbs: why do you idiots have to do this shit everyday
[]poui: ARE
[]uyhgc: ARE
[]asaaa: ALIVE W
[]asaaa: ITH
[]iustr: WITH
[]wusad: you fucking mongs
[]poui: THE
[]uyhgc: SOUND
[]asaaa: OF
[]iustr: OF
[A]eightfucksgiven: FUCK
[]poui: ROFL
[]asaaa: works too I guess haha
[]iustr: LOL
[A]eightfucksgiven: ./perms (chnum "gen1") -pG
[SERVER] Channel permissions for #gen1 changed to: "Global Mod or Admin required for posting".
[A]eightfucksgiven: ALRIGHT YOU FUCKS WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THIS
[A]eightfucksgiven: ./ping -G
[SERVER] All Global Moderators and Admins pinged.
[GM]aster: what
[GM]medzon: who pinged me
[GM]magister: I HOPE WHOEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PING ME IS READY FOR MY ELBOW UP HIS ASS
[A]divisionnorth: who in the fuck
[GM]aster: kinky
[GM]antiV: efg what happened this time
[A]eightfucksgiven: YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
[A]eightfucksgiven: THIS FUCKING SHIT HAPPENED
[A]eightfucksgiven: ./rules -O
[SERVER]:
	PENIS IN THE MORNING
1. PENIS IN THE EVENING
1.1. PENIS AT THE LUNCHTIME
2. EFG TAKES THREE DICKS AT ONCE
3. NOT LIKE IT'S A BAD THING
4. YOU REALLY SHOULD'VE MADE -e SWITCH ADMIN ONLY YOU TARD
5. NOW IN TURN YOU SUCK MY DICK

Last updated: 03-05-2003, 7:11:03 PM
[GM]medzon: oh
[GM]medzon: oh my
[GM]aster: not like penis is a bad thing :Fblush:
[GM]magister: :turbolewd:
[A]divisionnorth: you really should've made it admin only tho
[GM]MMM: goddammit demon
[A]eightfucksgiven: IT WAS DEMON?
[GM]MMM: who the fuck else would add 'PENIS' three times in the rules
[GM]antiV: I'm suprised you didn't immediately ping demon about this efg, did you really think that anyone else from the GM team could pull that off?
[A]eightfucksgiven: fuck off smartass
[A]eightfucksgiven: &demon you have three seconds before I ban you
[GM]demon: BUT I COULD SUCK FIFTY DICKS
[GM]magister: oh god
[GM]demon: AND I COULD SUCKS FIFTY DICKS MORE
[A]divisionnorth: that's it, we can wrap the entire chat up
[GM]demon: JUST TO BE THE MAN
[GM]aster: amazing
[GM]demon: WHO SUCKED A HUNDRED DICKS
[GM]MMM: DO IT DO IT
[GM]medzon: I think I can hear efg slamming his keyboard  on his desk through the walls right now
[GM]demon: TO GET A GLOBAL MOD
[GM]antiV: demon for admin
[GM]aster: ^
[GM]medzon: ^
[GM]MMM: ^
[A]eightfucksgiven: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN
[GM]demon: yes?
[A]eightfucksgiven: I'M GOING TO GET OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND FUCKING PULL YOU THROUGH YOUR OWN FUCKING WHEELCHAIR
[GM]aster: :lewd:
[GM]demon: TRY ME WANKER, I'LL KICK YOU TO DEATH BEFORE YOU'LL EVEN MANAGE TO GET CLOSE
[A]eightfucksgiven: YOU DON'T FUCKING HAVE LEGS
[GM]demon: WHO SAID I'LL KICK YOU WITH MY SIDE LEGS
[A]eightfucksgiven: WHAT
[GM]aster: oh my
[GM]magister: goddammit
[GM]medzon: we don't deserve demon
[A]divisionnorth: yep
[A]eightfucksgiven: I'M GOING TO COUNT TO ONE
[A]eightfucksgiven: IF BY THE END OF IT YOU WON'T REMOVE MYSELF FROM MY SIGHT I'LL DELETE YOU IRL
[GM]demon: k
[GM]medzon: uhh, did efg left?
[GM]MMM: I think he ragequit
[GM]MMM: lol
[GM]aster: what now?
[A]divisionnorth: alright, just give me a second to grasp the commands
[A]divisionnorth: ./perms (chnum "gen1") -pN
[SERVER] Channel permissions for #gen1 changed to: "No status required for posting".
[]asaaa: how often does shit like this happen here
[GM]medzon: every other friday or so

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