Exaggerate the Ghosties

You know, when they said this movie was traumatizing to many children, I was expecting something truly frightening... Like a Seltzer and Friedberg movie.
(S: Ooh, that gives me a great idea.
F: Oh my god, I'm so psyched to hear this
S: You ready for this bro?
F: I'm ready!
S: .....GooseSnookiBump! It would be a parody of all those old Goosebumps books. WITH JERSEY SHORE, SKINS, AND DEGRASSI CHARACTERS MIXED IN!
F: Aw, I thought we could mix in internet memes as well, and have Derpy Hooves accidentally strike Slap~ IDEEEEEA! The Slapuation, an ordinary dummy, with lightning, which makes him sentient...
Both: AND A EVIL MASTERMIND DUMMY/TERRIBLE TEEN STEREOTYPE
F: I love you so much, Aaron
S: ......Vice versa, Jason. Vice versa.
.........Are you two done? I have a review to do, y'know. Anyways. What we get is something much.... tamer, I guess. Here, let me explain this in song:

When children are young, I guess their minds
Exaggerate their sights
Filling their mind up to the brim with irrational type frights
So, when they saw this movie
Their perceptions went to town
And what they remember seeing, is much worse than what was laid down

There's this farmer who kills his only sons
One comes back to life
Making everyone zombies
And creating the stoner's strife

Soooooooooooo
He'll kill all of the zombies
Kill the farmer's son
Send the devil back to Hell
And get the girl as well
He better do it soon enough
Or life there on will be rough

(At least, as I said before, this is what they think they saw. As we know now, that description is horribly inaccurate, yet despite the true film not being too terrible, would still probably make a better movie than what we have)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow