Unforeseen Consequences - A change of perspective.

>Aaaah! What a nice day! The void palpitates with its usual weirdness, the floating islands are having a rave party, that mail pony has finally conquered the thousand-eyes challenge and me and the old man are having a nice chaos fishing.
>Yup! Everything was cool, absolutely every- oh, who am I kidding, that old coot is as grumpy as ever.
>“So you’re ditching a perfect day for chaos and fun with your beloved father for a boring meeting with the even more boring princesses at their fruity-toothy castle? Eris, my dear, I think you may have hit your head a little too hard this morning.”
>Grrr! This is like the ninetieth time that Discord has told me that. Geez, talk about being a broken record.
“Oh, shut it, old man! Playing nerds n’ oubliettes with your little friends ain’t exactly what I’d call fun-time. Besides, Y’know those two are the only ponies I can’t tell to flock off, especially not when they get so stupidly serious.”
>Discord threw his fishing rod into the void and popped another one made of straws “You would be surprised by how wrong that first statement actually is, especially when your dear father is the dungeon master.”
>Dungeon Master? More like Nerd Master. If there’s one thing you will never know, is why the old man liked that nerdy trash game so much, but to be honest, that’s for the best.
>”As for the second part.” Discord stroked his smelly beard, and he actually looked like he was using his brain “Hmmm, now that I think about it, you never had the decency of telling me exactly what happened back there.”

>WHAT?! OH THE NERVE OF HIM! HOW CAN HE… Wait, wait, waaaaait, chill out Eris, he just wants to get on your nerves, you know that’s how Discord roll. That has been his shtick ever since his first appearance.
“If you’re so curious, why don’t you move your lazy tail and ask the dork for the details? It ain’t my job to be your secretary, y’know?”
>Which is super creepy when you compare it to how different the real Equestria actually is from that cartoon trash.
>“Ooooh, my dear and unexperienced daughter!” I hate, hate, HATE! When he pinches my cheeks! Who does he think he is? My father?! … Oh wait.
>It was still super lame when he acted like the wise dude though “I COULD indeed ask the kid about how did his little rodeo with the cult went, I COULD track them down and make them pay for their little show, but that is not the point.”
>A’ight, he wants to be like that? I can do it too. Time to ramp up the sass!
“Then pray tell, daddy-o, what is this oh-so-wonderful point you’re talking about? ‘Cuz so far, it just looks like you want to be a lazy dude like always.”
>“My dear and incompetent daughter” Ouch! He didn’t have to hit my head with his straw rod though “Let me ask you this. What do you think is the reason for Celestia to not ask me to get rid of Hope and her band of weaklings?”
>He is acting like the mystical mentor again, ugh, just lemme burn my lame rod and replace it with one made of candy! No wait, that’s dumb… mmm… AHA! A fishing rod made out of fish! That will do the trick!
>Okay, now you were ready to deliver the sick burn.
“I dunno, maybe ‘cuz the last time she asked you to kick some bad guy’s sorry butt you did the exact opposite and helped the dude to destroy Equestria?”

>Oh, c’mon! Why did he get so angry at a simple jab? Pffft, now he’s giving me his old mad stare “We have been over this, Tirek was a simple miscalculation from my part. One that will never happen again, especially with Fluttershy, the kid and you around.”
“I already know that! Geez, y’know that I watched the episode. No need to get your pants in a bunch for a little joke!”
>And what an episode, the old man totally got his butt totally on a plate… just like I did with those crazy alicorns. Ugh…
>A pair of yellow pants covered in pink glimmer appeared on Discord, just so he could tighten them at his chest level “I wear my pants however I like them, thank you very much. As for what the real answer for my question was, well… I have already told you this many times before, it’s not in the cards for us to directly solve this problem”
>Aw, crud, you were going into this boring territory again! Laaaame!
“Oh, brother! Here you go again with this garbage! “the stars weren’t aligned” Seriously, old man, you should quit the chaos businesses and become an astrologist already!”
>“Who says I can’t do both?” Okay, you gotta give him this one, Discord suddenly wearing a gypsy outfit was actually funny “Giving ponies a fake horoscope is a great source of chaos!”
>Wait… he’s right about that! Just imagine all the mischief that MY cute self could create with a simple disguise and a cheap crystal ball! Wait… that’s not the point.
“Y’know what I meant, this whole destiny thing is just booooriiiiing.”
>“And yet” Ohhhh that smirk he just put on, how much I hate it! “You saw it happen with the little naïve Twilight through your television, and now, you’re seeing it unfold in real time with the kid… of course, I have VIP seats to witness your own destiny to unfold”
>Oh, now that deserves a good shrug, one as smug as my little dork.
“TV, camera monitor, inter-dimensional rift, it’s all the same thing, really. This whole business is too convoluted for somepony as good as me”

>“My dear Eris, I do not ask you to try to understand it, because the truth is” Discord shrugged “Not even Celestia, Luna or I have a complete understanding on the subject. I’m only telling you to be patient, this type of things do take some time.”
>Really? Now he was playing humble? No, seriously, Discord of all ponies was doing the humility thing?
“Dude, I can’t even understand what you’re trying to say right now”
>“What did I just told you about patience?” AAAAAAH! THAT IDIOT! HE HIT YOU AGAIN WITH THE STUPID STRAW ROD! “I was getting to it. The kid has a certain destiny, one that can only get achieved through many trials and tribulations.”
>Okay, transforming an entire floating island into a japanese theatre, complete with Japanese figurines kind of made up for the hit “Think about this as a play, our only role is to make sure the kid doesn’t get derailed too much… or get killed by the less friendly actors, just like his role in your particular destiny is to only be a support character. If Celestia hasn’t contacted me to crush the cult under my paw is because she knows that this is a challenge that the kid must endure.”
>Well that little show was… annoying. Good thing the chaos fishing came back.
“Uh-Huh, and that totally explains why you can’t be bothered to at least ask him what happened. Y’know that raisin’ face told him that Sombra dude had an eye on him, right?”
>“Well, I do now, and it is very concerning, King Sombrero is not exactly the type of pony that you can goof around with.” And now he was scratching his beard with his tail “Hmmm, if I have to be honest, what goes through Celestia’s mind is a mystery even for me, her sister not so much though.”
>It was kind of depressing to hear the old man talking about my little dork as if he was just… well, like he wasn’t really somepony of the family… wait, it wasn’t depressing, it was downright annoying!

“So you are just gonna do nothing then? Sheesh, and here I was thinking you actually liked the guy”
>“I do, quite a bit actually, he’s my only nephew after all, but I already explained what our part in HIS play is. I’m not particularly fond of playing a support character, but nothing I can do about it. I will get involved when it’s my turn to get on his stage.”
“Really? So tell me oh-great-master, what is the kid’s destiny then?”
>“I have a very good idea about what the climax of his story may be, but of course, I’m not going to spoil you a thing just like I’m not going to tell you what your destiny actually is.”
“Oh, come on!”
>That patternal chuckle of his… grrr! I wished that there was a way to stay angry at that… but there isn’t… screw you daddy-o “That is for you to BE PATIENT and discover for yourself… and for me to have even more patience and guide you towards it. Speaking of which, we need to finish our family activity before you get late to your boring meeting.”
“You mean even more late, ‘cuz I was supposed to be there like an hour ago.”
>“No, I meant before getting rudely late instead of chaotically late, there’s an important difference between those two. Now, why don’t you feast your eyes on this catch?!”
>Hah! That noodle shark he pulled out was nothing! The old man can be all talk and no bite at times.
“Pffft! That’s the best you can do, old man? Check this thing out! Beats your punny little shrimp by a mile!”
>“Ah-Ah! Remember the first rule of chaos, nothing is what it looks like…” Oooooh… that old coot! He totally made the noodle shark to puke the giant poker whale! “Ta-Dah!”
“That doesn’t count! I saw you spinning that noodle you call talon!”
>“Second rule of chaos, my dear daughter. Everything goes”
>He… was right, crud… wait a moment! HE WAS RIGHT! HAH HAH! Eris, you still got this!

“Oh yeah?! Then what about the third rule of chaos? It’s not over until the fat octopus sings!”
>And it wasn’t just a fat opera singing octopus! Of course not! It was a whole orchestra of metal clamps and candy shrimps, and glowy eels, all packed in a techno-stage!
>“Ah, I see that you remembered your lessons. Fair enough, I will concede this time, but only because I’m getting late for my weekly game of Ogres and Oubliettes and Big Mac is really stingy about punctuality. I need to get that boy a marefriend.”
“‘Cuz you’re a total Romeo, right? You can tell that dude all about how you won Auntie Flutters’ heart. Bet he will be making his own “tea-parties” with a cutie soon enough.”
>D’awwww! The old man was so cute when he blushed with those purple shades! “Just… go…”
>Seriously though, I totally need to get him to go to that romantic dinner with Auntie Flutters, especially when I already convinced her to go… by not telling her it was a date. Meh, whatever, I did manage to get my dork to be romantic, the old man can’t be that harder.
“Tee-hee! Stay chill, daddy-o. Remember that Auntie Flutters doesn’t like when her Discord gets all flustered.”
>So with a little cute spin of my little cute talon I was out of the void and at the gates of, yup, the famous Canterlot Castle! Home of a couple of very grumpy and alicorns and a cute dork.
>Thinking about it, this dump was way bigger than the TV version, and it had way more guards than the cartoon, as in, the real deal actually has guards.
>Aaaaand speaking of what things the TV got wrong, ponies weren’t that innocent, I mean, there were already some of those guys checking me out.
>Heh Heh! But to be honest, how could I blame them though? It’s not every day that they get to see somepony like me.

>And now that I’m being honest, I’m feeling kind of hungry. Maybe I could take a little detour and get a free lunch from them, spread some chaos by making them fight for my attention, and…
>Nah! Not in the mood to scam some desperate stallions today. Besides, I want to take a different detour before seeing Celestia-grumpestia and Luna-angruna. So round and round the chaos magic goes, where will it stop, only Eris knows!
>Oh brother, what a bummer, my little rhyme went to waste. The dork wasn’t in his room, and here I was hoping to wake him up with a good scare.
>That old man must have beaten me to the punch, he acted all wise and mystical, but I know him. He couldn’t resist to check up on the little guy and… wait…
>The dork’s room was way messier than usual. It’s seriously not like him to have so many books lying around, if there’s one thing the dork keeps in order are his books and those garbage comics he likes to read.
>Maybe I should check out what he was reading, I don’t want him to start reading dirty stuff… at least not until he’s a teen… and when that happens, I totally don’t want to know.
>Mmmmmm?
“What do we have here?”
>Well, it was a book, obviously. The title was the weird part though “History of Hearts and Hooves day by Archie Logic”.
“I never took the little fella for the type of pony who would care for this kind of stuff. MMMM, something ain’t right here.”
>“That is because it isn’t. My son has many qualities, but romance? I’ve seen dragons who’re better at that. Trust me, I dated a couple back in my time”

>Oh, no! How did she know I was already here?
“I-I wasn’t peeking through the dork’s… I-I mean, Anon’s things, I swear!”
>“Eris, you are giving me your back, I can absolutely see you crossing your talons.”
>…Crud, guess I have no other option but to face her.
“Hiya there, Chief! You’re looking quite good today! Lemme guess, you got a new manecut? No, wait! You got a hoovecure, right? No, wait! It’s both!”
>“Calm down, Eris, you’re not in trouble” Geez, Celestia was scary even when she tried not to.
“Really? Awesome! So! Since I ain’t getting my face blasted today, do you want to do the meeting right now?”
>Fricking Celestia, man. She and her sister were the most different thing from the show. You expected two naïve feather for brains but instead you got… them.
>She shook her head! Why did she shook her head?! Oh you knew it! You were gonna eat lasers!
>“Oh, Eris! You truly need to learn how to relax!” And… she was laughing now “I’m not angry, I just want to have a little chat over tea before we get to business”
“Chatting I can do, but… I don’t wanna sound rude, but… I-I really don’t do tea”
>“Well, you’re still a bit too young for wine or cider, so that’s out of the question. Hmmm… what could we eat? Oh, I know! Pray tell, Eris, how do you handle coffee?”
“I drink like, two gallons each day… BUT! I don’t drink decaff, like, ever. That thing is just… eww”
>“Don’t worry! I happen to like strong brands of coffee, it helps me to orchestrate my mornings better. Hmm, but now I have to ask. Do you like pancakes?”
“As long as they don’t have strawberries, I’m game.”
>“In that case, follow me to my study. I should warn you though, once you taste my pancakes, you won’t want to taste any other pancake in your life.”
“Uh… a’ight, I’ll hold you to that”