The Binge (2020) EN

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‐ I'm not a chicken. You're a turkey.

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<i>This is your brain on drugs.</i>

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‐ You gotta say no.

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<i>America, the not‐so‐distant future.</i>

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<i>The economy is failing.</i>

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<i>A despondent society has turned
to self‐medication.</i>

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<i>Road fatalities, crime,</i>

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<i>public disturbance, voice theft</i>

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<i>all at record highs.</i>

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‐ Just say no.

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<i>Something needed to be done.</i>

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<i>Congress bravely votes to establish
a modern day Prohibition.</i>

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<i>Zero tolerance policy was adopted.</i>

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<i>Overnight, the use, sale,
and manufacturing of all alcohol</i>

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<i>and narcotics of any kind became illegal.</i>

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<i>Soon to emerge was
a better, sober America.</i>

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<i>Inebriation, once viewed
as socially appropriate,</i>

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<i>was now taboo,</i>

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<i>with just one exception.</i>

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<i>Once a year, the embargo is lifted.</i>

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<i>Narcotics once confiscated by police
are distributed to the highest bidder.</i>

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<i>For 12 hours every year,</i>

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<i>US citizens 18 and up are legally allowed</i>

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<i>to participate in bill A2904,</i>

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<i>known colloquially as simply</i>

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<i>"The Binge."</i>

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<i>God bless America.</i>

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<i>Studies show that providing this outlet</i>

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<i>to the populace just once a year
would combat their urge</i>

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<i>to indulge thereafter.</i>

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<i>In fact only 23 percent of citizens
attempt a second binge.</i>

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<i>For a third, this number plummets
to just six percent.</i>

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<i>Psychologists predict this mechanism
may annihilate</i>

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<i>all clinical addiction by 2055.</i>

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<i>Whether or not you choose to participate</i>

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<i>or are merely an innocent bystander,</i>

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<i>no one is left unaffected by The Binge.</i>

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‐ Good morning, American High.

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Flaming Eagles, I can't hear you!

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As I said Flaming Eagles,
I can't hear you!

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For you seniors that are 18,
in T minus nine hours,

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you will be able to participate
in your very first Binge!

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‐ We're gonna get so fucked tonight!

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‐ Hags, you really gotta calm down, man,
you're gonna pull something.

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‐ Guys, I only got two hobbies.
Only two things I really spend my time on.

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That's my woodworking, my elves,
and that's making hummus.

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And the other thing I do is protect
the reputation of American High.

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‐ My mom told me she used
to drink wine from a box

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on the way home from work in college.

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‐ Ugh! We were born, like, way too late.

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‐ I can't control what you do out there,

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but I can make a suggestion

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as a concerned citizen and a mentor

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and give you some pretty good reasons
why we don't want you to Binge.

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‐ We've been prepping for this night
our entire lives.

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‐ I would fucking murder anyone
who gets in our way.

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‐ Now unfortunately for those of you
that do decide to Binge tonight,

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all the regular laws,
well, those are still in place,

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and breaking those laws have consequences.

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‐ Yeah, consequences like you playing
penis Jenga with his daughter!

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‐ Will you be quiet?
Lena almost heard you say penis Jenga.

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‐ Oh, I'm sorry, Lena almost heard me
say penis Jenga!

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‐ Hi, Lena.

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‐ See, bro, you gotta get her attention!
‐ I know.

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‐ I'm working on it. You just‐‐
You gotta let me do it my way, you know.

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‐ By writing a confusing sonnet?

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‐ It's not a sonnet,
it's a series of haikus,

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and I'm asking her to prom today.

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‐ Yeah, okay, you've been saying that
every day for the past five months.

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Well, tonight we Binge.

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I'm gonna get you drunk enough
to finally make your move.

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‐ Yeah, except there's no way
Lena's Binge‐ing,

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and if Carlsen found out I binged,
that'll be it.

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He would never let me near Lena again.

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‐ You know, Amy Bagman thought
it was rite of passage.

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She binged.

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And then a couple of uppers and downers
and siders into it

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she found herself on a private jet
with 12 "Saudi princes."

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Never to be heard from again.

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‐ Oh shit!
‐ Now, is she alive today?

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Is she dead?
Is she even worse off than that?

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Even her family can't answer
that question.

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Sad.

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‐ That's really what you want?

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‐ To be on a private jet?
Abso‐fucking‐lutely!

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One day, you'll have no one.

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All you'll have left is the memories.

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So you gotta make your life matter.

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Let me assure you, I will spend‐‐

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‐ Nothing matters.

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Then there was Allen Reed
who was excited

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about getting accepted into Stanford

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until he was caught doing
the Brazilian tuck

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outside a TJ MAXX.

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Yeah, laugh it up. It's fun, right?

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Maybe your name's Kimberly Jones?

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‐ Oh! There's my setup.

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‐ Please don't say "I'll have
what she's having." Don't say that.

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‐ I have to say it,
because it's hilarious.

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‐ It's not hilarious‐‐

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‐ It is hilarious, brother.
We went over this, okay.

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Make everyone in the assembly laugh,

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then we win the Gauntlet tonight
at the Library Party.

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‐ You fellas need wristbands
for the Library Party tonight?

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‐ We got some.

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But the jet‐ski was still attached
to the dock, and it never took off.

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And then eventually
it exploded into flames.

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Now, Kimberly Jones is here tonight.

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Can you guys guess which one she is?

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I'll give you a hint. You're cold, cold.

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Getting warmer, getting warmer, red hot.

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Burning hot. That's Kimberly Jones.

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Wrapped up like a mummy because
she's ashamed of the way she looks.

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She works here at the high school.

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She makes the butterscotch pudding,
and she does a wonderful job.

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We're proud of you, Kim.

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And she's never really
allowed up before lunch

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because again, she's disgusting
and revolting to look at,

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and it'll make your stomach churn
and make you unable to eat.

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And on that note,
please stop emailing me, Kim,

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about the Fantas in the mini‐fridge.

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I'm gonna explode.
I've said it to you six times.

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I wanna treat you like a lady today,
in front of everybody.

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'Cause you are one.

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I'd like to see everyone here go on
and have a bright future

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and not end up...
like some of the people that we've seen

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in front of us here today.

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I'll have what she's having!

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What?

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‐ You'll have what who's having?

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‐ Fucking dork.

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‐ You'll have what
this burn victim's having?

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Are you drawing attention
to the burn victim?

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Kimberly Jones, who was tweaking

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and got burned from her face to her feet?

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And how do you think it makes
a burn victim feel

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when you single 'em out
in front of everybody?

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Kim, how's it make you feel?

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Does it make you this?
Does it make you happy?

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Right? Or does it make you this?

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I feel sad too.

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I feel sad for Kim.

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Sit down. You got
30 minute detention on Tuesday.

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You're gonna learn some empathy.
I'm gonna have you read

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about circus freaks, deformed people,

146
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and people with the kind of burns
that she has, how repulsive it is,

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- and how hard it is to live with it.
- Oh my god.

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‐ You'll get 'em next time, buddy.
‐ Oh my god.

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‐ Any questions?

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Can I get a cawww!

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Caw!

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‐ Can I get a cawww!

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Cawww!

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‐ Let's go learn.

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‐ My uncle said his friend would do,
like, a handstand

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on a barrel of beer until he choked.

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‐ Yeah. It's called a keg stand.

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What's a keg?

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‐ Man, did I misread the room.

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‐ Oh, I thought it was funny.

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‐ Thank you, Andrew,
but I don't need your sympathies.

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I was just rejected by my peers,
and I'm in a bit of a fragile state.

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I heard if you do Molly
and drink a Mountain Dew,

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you start to see the future,
but it doesn't even pertain to you at all.

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‐ Really?
‐ Yeah.

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‐ My older cousin saw
some random dude in Wisconsin's future.

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‐ Other Man's Future Syndrome. Sick.

168
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‐ I don't know, man. I worked
really hard to get into Brown.

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‐ Man, fuck college! What is this,
the '90s? We have the internet.

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‐ Even if I wanted to go,
our parents will never let us

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skip out on their tradition.

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‐ Look, Griffin.
I love our parents, right. I do.

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But I'm not spending another Binge

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at "Soda‐Pop Game Night"
doing the Root Beer Goat.

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I won't do it.

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‐ What are you wearing?
You look like my bubbe's couch.

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‐ Okay, see, you know nothing
about style, right.

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You don't. Which is why I took the liberty

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of getting you
your very first Gauntlet outfit.

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Here we go.

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Overalls, baby. Happy Binge, pal!

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‐ FBF?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

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First Binge forever!

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‐ Hags, I'm not Binge‐ing, man.
I'm definitely not wearing overalls.

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Please take them back. Please.
‐ Okay, see, you are Binge‐ing,

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and overalls are chick magnets, man.

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They say if you keep it tight up top,

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below the waist, it's anyone's guess.

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‐ Who says that?
Who says that about overalls?

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‐ I do. And Lena's gonna love 'em!

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‐ I heard if you eat mushrooms
and sacrifice an animal,

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your entire world turns into a musical.

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‐ There's no way that's true, Kathleen.

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‐ Is that how you wanna end up?

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Hey hey, ho ho‐‐

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Hell yeah, man, we can beat that.

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When we win the Gauntlet tonight,
I want our names to be etched in stone.

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‐ Will you put that away?

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Principal Carlsen's gonna see it,
and there goes any shot I had with Lena.

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‐ Who gives a fuck, Griffin?

201
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You think he'd want some scared kiss‐ass

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who volunteers to clean up shits
in the chem lab date his daughter?

203
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No! He wants a man!

204
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Come on now.
Gotta you show you the closer.

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‐ The closer?

206
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‐ So you know my senior shop project
I told you I was working on?

207
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‐ Yeah, man, the one you had
the GoFundMe for

208
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when you were building
the reusable hydration systems

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for third world countries.

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I was really proud of you for doing that.

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‐ Yeah, man, fuck hydration. I lied.
I put that money to much better use.

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‐ I donated $75.

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‐ Griffin, I give to you the most
important invention since the toilet,

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The BoozeCycle!

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‐ Whoa, man. You built this?
‐ Yeah, man.

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‐ This is awesome.

217
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‐ Isn't it great?

218
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‐ Imagine if you put your mind
to something useful.

219
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‐ Useful? This is the most
useful thing I've ever done.

220
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Is it a car? Kind of.

221
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Is it a bicycle? Almost.

222
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Griffin, this thing fucks!

223
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‐ I mean, it does. It's really cool.

224
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It's just, how would we even pedal it
with two people? There's ten seats.

225
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‐ Hey, why you gotta be so negative, bro?

226
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<i>‐ And El Pantera, that's just a myth.
Like Santa Claus.</i>

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You know what <i>,</i> man. I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be a Debbie downer.

228
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I'm just‐‐ I'm nervous, you know.
Aren't you scared? Like, at all?

229
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‐ Scared of what? Becoming a legend?

230
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‐ No, of just‐‐ I don't know. Everything.

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Lena, Carlsen, alcohol poisoning,

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our lives turning into a musical.

233
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That sounds terrible.

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‐ Griffin, we'll be fine. I'll be
with you every step of the way.

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‐ That's what I'm scared about.

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00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,707
‐ Ha ha. Oh, okay, you make jokes,

237
00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,291
but you don't realize that
I'm a human, with emotion,

238
00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:45,292
and it hurts my feelings.

239
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:47,082
‐ I love you, okay. I really do.

240
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:48,999
And I appreciate you
getting me a wristband

241
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,207
and stealing from all those people
who desperately need clean water

242
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,249
to build a BoozeCycle‐‐

243
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,291
‐ Which is awesome.
‐ It is,

244
00:10:53,292 --> 00:10:54,957
but I'm just gonna stick to tradition,

245
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,624
do Root Beer Goat‐Night with our parents,
and wake up tomorrow

246
00:10:57,625 --> 00:11:00,332
to continue my extended reign
as mayor of Virgin City.

247
00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:01,708
‐ Good to know, Mr. Mayor!

248
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,957
‐ Lena! Hey.

249
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,749
‐ Lena, please don't call him Mr. Mayor.

250
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,082
Mr. Mayor is his father.

251
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,666
I like to refer to my brother here
as <i>Babe: Pig In The City.</i>

252
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,832
‐ Hmm. ‐ Because he's got
the thickest hog in the game.

253
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:12,375
‐ That's not‐‐

254
00:11:12,376 --> 00:11:14,374
‐ I've never once heard anyone
refer to him as Babe,

255
00:11:14,375 --> 00:11:15,874
and I've known him since preschool.

256
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,999
‐ That's 'cause they whisper it to him.
‐ They don't do that.

257
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:18,833
They don't whisper anything.

258
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:22,082
‐ So, you whisper "Babe"
into Griffin's ear

259
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:24,083
because he has
the thickest hog in the game?

260
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,250
‐ Okay, Lena. This is weird now.
Right? So I'm gonna go.

261
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,708
Lena. Babe.

262
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,000
‐ I have a normal‐sized hog,

263
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,499
probably no different than the next one.

264
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,999
Not that I've seen,

265
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,416
uh, but naturally you do find yourself
in positions where you see other hogs

266
00:11:45,417 --> 00:11:47,625
and in those situations, I found that...

267
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,333
my hog is...

268
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,042
comparable, if not the same

269
00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:53,875
in thickness to those‐‐

270
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,500
‐ That's good to know.

271
00:11:56,417 --> 00:11:59,708
Um... so are you gonna Binge?

272
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,041
‐ After your dad's speech?

273
00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:04,332
You'd have to be a certified dip‐shit
to go out tonight.

274
00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:06,541
‐ Well, I guess I'm the mayor
of Dip‐Shit City

275
00:12:06,542 --> 00:12:08,708
'cause I'm seriously thinking about it.

276
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:10,374
‐ Me too, by the way.

277
00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:13,417
I was completely joking before
about the dip‐shit thing. That's‐‐

278
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,167
But, um...

279
00:12:17,125 --> 00:12:18,999
‐ Griff, is everything okay?

280
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,375
‐ It is. Uh‐‐

281
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,374
You know how our moms used
to go to Zumba class together?

282
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:28,957
‐ Yeah! Yeah, we used to play
fake house in the kid's room.

283
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:32,499
To this day, no one makes
fake French toast as good as you.

284
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,791
‐ And no one did our fake taxes for
our fake mortgage better than you, so‐‐

285
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:37,000
‐ And now we're fake home owners!

286
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,291
‐ That fake debt collector
won't stop hounding me!

287
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:44,166
Um, anyways, I was just thinking how

288
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,416
we've always been in each other's lives.

289
00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,749
‐ Yeah.
‐ And, um,

290
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,750
Lena, I was wondering if‐‐

291
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:50,792
‐ Oh my god!

292
00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:52,332
What is this?

293
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,707
"This promposal you can't ignore,

294
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,082
"because there's still so much more.

295
00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:57,874
"Let's laugh and be merry,
because the next clue you'll find

296
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:58,916
"at the Carnegie Library!

297
00:12:58,917 --> 00:13:01,249
Here's hoping you will attend,
and while you're at it, bring a friend!"

298
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,292
Holy shit!

299
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:05,667
Griffin, did you do this?

300
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,083
‐ Um‐‐

301
00:13:08,417 --> 00:13:09,791
‐ Are you kidding me? Oh my god!

302
00:13:09,792 --> 00:13:11,249
When did this happen
and why didn't you tell me?

303
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:14,249
‐ No, no, no, it is happening right now.
You are witnessing it.

304
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,624
‐ This is awesome.
‐ Who do you think did it?

305
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:18,041
‐ I don't know! Um, Max Keiser?

306
00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:19,416
‐ Maybe it was Ian Greenstein?

307
00:13:19,417 --> 00:13:20,874
‐ Ian Greenstein? Yeah, he‐‐

308
00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,707
He liked your tweet 18 months ago
like a total creep.

309
00:13:22,708 --> 00:13:24,166
I bet it's Ian Greenstein.
‐ So many guys!

310
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,542
‐ I know!
‐ Exciting.

311
00:13:25,917 --> 00:13:28,791
‐ Holy shit! This is huge. They sold out
for this, like, six months ago.

312
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,874
‐ Griffin, would you be
the ultimate friend and take a pic?

313
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:32,833
‐ Totally.
‐ Thank you!

314
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,208
‐ Yeah, I can do that.
‐ Thank you!

315
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,874
‐ Say "Ian Greenstein.'

316
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,541
Ian Greenstein!

317
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:39,791
‐ You guys are gonna really like that.

318
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,125
‐ Thank you so much.
‐ Of course.

319
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:44,708
‐ So that's‐‐ So‐‐
‐ Okay, bye, Griffin.

320
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:46,667
Who do you think did this?

321
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:54,291
The package
is basically fully stocked

322
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,874
with, like, colorful frozen drinks
and tiny umbrellas.

323
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:58,582
‐ I fucking love tiny umbrellas.

324
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,332
Do you think pink drinks, too, because

325
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:02,999
my grandmother's seen
this show, it's called <i>Sex and the City,</i>

326
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,416
and they would just drink pink alcohol
and have meaningless sex

327
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,832
with strangers of foreign descent.

328
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,832
‐ I would do disgusting things
to a foreign guy tonight.

329
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,500
‐ Hmm.
‐ I'm talking full spit roast.

330
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,166
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

331
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:18,791
‐ Hags, what the hell is wrong with you?

332
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:22,624
‐ I'm so sorry, I just dropped my passport
somewhere around here earlier today.

333
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,167
I'm just trying to get right back
to the motherland right after I graduate.

334
00:14:26,542 --> 00:14:27,583
What?

335
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,375
‐ Oh, my homeland.

336
00:14:29,376 --> 00:14:30,957
You know I'm
a hundred percent foreign, right?

337
00:14:30,958 --> 00:14:32,000
Like, from another place.

338
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:37,124
Ha ha. Anyhoo, will I be seeing
you ladies at the Library Party tonight?

339
00:14:37,125 --> 00:14:38,916
‐ You're going to the Library Party?

340
00:14:38,917 --> 00:14:40,791
‐ Hell yeah I'm going
to the Library Party.

341
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,958
And I'm hoping that you'll check me out.

342
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,916
‐ For what purpose?
‐ Excuse me.

343
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,708
‐ Uh, isn't that a saying?

344
00:14:47,083 --> 00:14:49,292
‐ No, it's not.
Words have consequences, Hags.

345
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:52,041
‐ Okay, that's what it is.
It's the language barrier thing.

346
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:53,582
That's what... that's what it was.

347
00:14:53,583 --> 00:14:56,292
Because I'm from another place.
I'm fully foreign.

348
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:58,707
‐ Have you ever even been on a plane?

349
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:00,582
‐ Hell yeah I've been on a plane.

350
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,000
Ha ha. Of course.

351
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,832
I'm actually a current cardholder
of the mile high club.

352
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,500
‐ Oh yeah?
‐ And the big dick club.

353
00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:08,499
‐ Really?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

354
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,957
‐ Well, why don't you whip it out
and show us?

355
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,833
‐ Mmm. You see, I would,

356
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:15,082
but they keep the band room real cold.

357
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,291
It's not really a accurate depiction
of my genitalia.

358
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,042
Hmm.

359
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,917
‐ That's what I thought.

360
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,082
Virgin.

361
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:21,833
This is dry.
‐ Okay.

362
00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:25,208
Chad, how are we?

363
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,332
Kurt, how come I never see you
with your shorts off?

364
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,749
‐ Seem a little locker room shy.
S‐‐ Sir‐‐

365
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:30,082
‐ Wanna see how a man walks around
the locker room?

366
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:31,499
Um‐‐
Wanna take a look at it?

367
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,832
I'll pull my pants down, I'll go take
a shit, I'll get in the shower.

368
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:34,583
You wanna watch it?

369
00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:37,332
Whatever it is, get comfortable with it.
It ain't going away.

370
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,124
Let's get behind those ears,
okay, Bennett?

371
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,791
Yes, sir. ‐ That's where
the germs live and they reproduce.

372
00:15:40,792 --> 00:15:41,917
‐ Got it.
‐ Don't be a pussy.

373
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,916
Chin up. Griffin, my man, how are you?

374
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:44,957
‐ How's it going, Principal Carlsen?

375
00:15:44,958 --> 00:15:47,666
‐ Well, I'm always a little bit on edge
when it comes to Binge night,

376
00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,624
people get pushed to their moral limits.
‐ Me too.

377
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:51,375
I, I can't believe people Binge.

378
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,249
‐ One shake and you're done, Tommy!

379
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:54,874
No one wants to watch
your dickplay in here.

380
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:57,666
At your age, you're a hair‐trigger.
You're liable to blow all over the place.

381
00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,958
Have a story about you for the rest
of your life. You want that?

382
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,124
Put the dick down.

383
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,042
Okay.

384
00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:05,875
‐ You know, Griffin, uh, Lena says
some really nice things about you.

385
00:16:06,542 --> 00:16:07,125
‐ She does?

386
00:16:07,126 --> 00:16:09,249
‐ Yeah. She says that you're nice,
that you work hard,

387
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:11,667
that you have
pretty terrific table manners.

388
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:13,667
You know, I'll tell you, Griff,

389
00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:17,582
I'm pretty okay
with... my daughter being friends

390
00:16:17,583 --> 00:16:19,417
with a nice Brown man.

391
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:22,792
Let me walk that back just a little bit.

392
00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:25,792
That's not the kind of quote
that you want taken out of context.

393
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:30,291
Congratulations on getting into
a great university, Brown.

394
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:32,957
‐ Thank you, sir. And thank you again
for making that call to Dean Eckhouse.

395
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:33,999
It really made all the difference.

396
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,416
‐ Well, Griff, you know,
when you have a history of

397
00:16:36,417 --> 00:16:38,457
recommending
outstanding guys, like yourself,

398
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,042
they tend to listen to you.

399
00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,874
And by the same token, if you ask them
to rescind someone they're thinking about,

400
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,000
they go ahead and they listen loud
and clear on that as well.

401
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,541
Since we're talking
about scratching each other's backs,

402
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,541
I have just the smallest little itch

403
00:16:51,542 --> 00:16:53,499
I was wondering if you could get
your fingernails on.

404
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:56,624
It's called where the fuck
is the party tonight?

405
00:16:56,625 --> 00:17:00,874
Sarah Martin's "Dank‐Ass Pre‐Game"
is already on my radar.

406
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,374
I understand they're thinking
of smoking a little bit of pot.

407
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,624
Maybe some Lean? A little Purple Drank.

408
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,374
You know what I'm talking about?
‐ Oh, I do, but I wouldn't.

409
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:10,374
I personally wouldn't sniff glue
or drink Purple Drank

410
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:12,041
or just associate
with Sarah Martin at all.

411
00:17:12,042 --> 00:17:12,792
‐ Well, that's good.

412
00:17:12,793 --> 00:17:14,207
That bitch has chaotic energy.

413
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,792
She's like a scorpion in a toaster.

414
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:20,416
Anyway, the point is
if you hear of anything‐‐

415
00:17:20,417 --> 00:17:21,292
‐ Of course.

416
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,000
‐ Fair?
‐ Totally fair.

417
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,874
‐ Fair?
‐ Fair. Very fair.

418
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,208
‐ The hell is‐‐

419
00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:35,000
‐ Principal Carlsen, I‐‐ Um‐‐

420
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,082
It's a funny story, I‐‐ Uh‐‐

421
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,375
I‐‐ ‐ Oh.

422
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:44,916
Oh. Actually, Principal Carlsen,
that's not Griffin's.

423
00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:46,332
No, see, I found that in the hallway,

424
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,499
and I gave it to Griffin
to hold onto it for me.

425
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,416
Yeah, I just had no idea what it was.

426
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:53,000
Could it be tickets
to a renaissance fair or...

427
00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:54,625
a petting zoo.

428
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:57,832
Yeah.

429
00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:59,166
‐ You gentlemen be safe tonight.

430
00:17:59,167 --> 00:17:59,917
‐ Yes, sir.

431
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,542
‐ And Hags, do me a favor.

432
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:04,707
Try to find a nickname
that's a little bit more normal.

433
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,375
Something like Lucas or Quan.

434
00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,166
I'll see you Tuesday? Thirty minutes?

435
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:11,125
Thank you, Quan. Griff.

436
00:18:13,542 --> 00:18:15,207
David, thank your brother
for the meatloaf.

437
00:18:15,208 --> 00:18:15,833
Yes, sir.

438
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:17,916
‐ Whoa, thank Christ.

439
00:18:17,917 --> 00:18:18,792
‐ Oh, Griffin?
‐ Yup.

440
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,999
‐ You know, there's a prank turd
in the chemistry lab.

441
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,582
I was wondering if you could be an angel,
sweep in and scoop that up.

442
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:24,583
‐ I would love to do that.

443
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,417
‐ Thank you, Quan.

444
00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,416
‐ Fuck! Quan?

445
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:35,874
Who the fuck is Quan?

446
00:18:38,042 --> 00:18:40,916
<i>And so it begins.</i>

447
00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:44,041
<i>As school lets out, sirens pierce the air,</i>

448
00:18:44,042 --> 00:18:47,999
<i>informing the civilian population
of what's to come.</i>

449
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,416
<i>For some, a warning.</i>

450
00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:53,041
<i>To those not participating, to get home,</i>

451
00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:56,208
<i>bunker down, and pray for safety.</i>

452
00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:59,582
<i>For others, it's the sound of celebration,</i>

453
00:18:59,583 --> 00:19:01,667
<i>excess, freedom.</i>

454
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:05,541
<i>Underground competitions
known as Gauntlets</i>

455
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:07,375
<i>capture the nation's attention.</i>

456
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:10,957
<i>Creating local legends in those who win</i>

457
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:14,416
<i>and lasting memories for all who compete.</i>

458
00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:16,582
Ten, nine

459
00:19:16,583 --> 00:19:18,916
eight, seven, six,

460
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:21,166
five, four,

461
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,874
three, two, one!

462
00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:26,207
Yahtzee!

463
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,208
Whoo!

464
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,667
Yeah.

465
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:31,874
‐ Oh. To our sixth Binge Night Game Night!

466
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,374
‐ Yep.
‐ What a great tradition!

467
00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:34,375
‐ This is fun.

468
00:19:34,376 --> 00:19:36,666
‐ It's just great being able to hang
with family on the night

469
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:38,582
when nobody else is doing
anything awesome.

470
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:41,999
‐ Oh, and we are just grateful
that you boys would rather‐‐

471
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,291
‐ Uh... men!
‐ Excuse me.

472
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,124
That you <i>men</i>

473
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:50,291
would still rather pal around
with us middle <i>‐</i> aged fogies

474
00:19:50,292 --> 00:19:53,166
than go out drinking with all
the other high school boys and girls.

475
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,291
‐ Yeah, well, makes me hopeful
for the future.

476
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:57,458
‐ Yep.
‐ Well, who's ready for round two?

477
00:19:58,042 --> 00:19:58,917
‐ Yeah.

478
00:19:58,917 --> 00:19:59,875
‐ We don't have to do
the thing again, Dad.

479
00:19:59,876 --> 00:20:00,916
‐ We don't‐‐
‐ Oh no, let's do it.

480
00:20:00,917 --> 00:20:02,582
Root beer goat!
‐ Ha ha!

481
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,124
‐ Ah, somebody didn't goat.

482
00:20:08,584 --> 00:20:09,957
‐ Well, everybody goated so I‐‐

483
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,541
‐ Come on, son, you do the best goat.

484
00:20:11,542 --> 00:20:12,624
‐ I do a very normal goat.
‐ No, you‐‐

485
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,124
‐ Come on, give us a goat!

486
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,791
Give us a goat!
‐ You're so good.

487
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,791
You got it.

488
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:19,957
‐ This is what I'm talking about.

489
00:20:19,958 --> 00:20:21,417
‐ That's a damn good goat!

490
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:25,082
So, Griffin, I heard you're going to prom
with the Principal's daughter?

491
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,042
- Oh.
- Prom.

492
00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:28,707
‐ Yeah, I, I was,
but somebody else already asked.

493
00:20:29,875 --> 00:20:31,291
‐ That's too bad.
‐ I'm so sorry.

494
00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:32,457
‐ Oh, it's okay, Ma.

495
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,291
Most, most people
probably don't even remember

496
00:20:34,292 --> 00:20:35,250
who they went to prom with.

497
00:20:35,250 --> 00:20:36,083
‐ Exactly.

498
00:20:36,084 --> 00:20:37,708
‐ Unh‐unh, you're looking at him.

499
00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:42,249
He was so nervous when he asked me.

500
00:20:42,250 --> 00:20:44,582
He had written a little poem out
and everything.

501
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,167
He didn't even end up reading it.

502
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,916
‐ Well, for what it's worth,
I always thought

503
00:20:48,917 --> 00:20:50,792
you and Lena made an adorable couple.

504
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,999
Do you want me to call her father?
‐ That's okay, Dad.

505
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,624
‐ No, no, no, I'm not afraid to call him.
‐ I am.

506
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:55,957
You don't have to do that.
‐ No, you shouldn't be.

507
00:20:55,958 --> 00:20:56,999
‐ I don't think you should do that.

508
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,292
- Okay. Okay.
- I appreciate that.

509
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,749
‐ Hey, everybody. What's happening here?

510
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:02,791
Too early to fall asleep.

511
00:21:02,792 --> 00:21:05,499
I bought <i>Big Bang Theory</i> Clue.

512
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:06,791
<i>‐ Big Bang.</i>
‐ Mm‐hmm.

513
00:21:06,792 --> 00:21:07,417
Let me get this straight,

514
00:21:07,418 --> 00:21:09,749
Sheldon... kills‐‐

515
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:11,292
‐ Penny.
‐ Penny.

516
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,791
In the library?

517
00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:14,583
‐ No.
‐ The lab.

518
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:15,500
‐ The lab.

519
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,082
With a... Galaxy 6, 6S

520
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:19,833
‐ Galaxy‐‐

521
00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:22,000
‐ Eh, 6, Salaxy 6‐‐

522
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:26,958
‐ Bazinga.

523
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:29,417
‐ Mom. Mom?

524
00:21:29,917 --> 00:21:30,583
Dad?

525
00:21:30,584 --> 00:21:32,166
Dad? Dad? Paul?

526
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:32,917
Stacy?

527
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:34,749
Come on, Griffin,
let's get the hell out of here!

528
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:35,917
‐ What the‐‐ Wait, what the hell is this?

529
00:21:36,292 --> 00:21:37,624
Hags, did you do something?

530
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:40,124
‐ No! I just gave them
a couple sleeping pills.

531
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:41,666
‐ You roofied our parents?

532
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,749
‐ I did not roofie our parents.
The pills were in their medicine cabinet.

533
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:45,916
‐ This is crazy!
‐ Griffin!

534
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:48,041
Your parents are spooning.
My dad is snoring.

535
00:21:48,042 --> 00:21:49,291
Mom's asleep. Let's go!
‐ No!

536
00:21:49,292 --> 00:21:50,916
Tha‐‐ I'm not going. I'm not leaving.

537
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:53,041
You have a wristband, that's it, okay.

538
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:54,042
You go without me.

539
00:21:54,708 --> 00:21:55,500
‐ Go without you?

540
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:57,916
‐ Lena's gonna meet
her promposal mate there anyway.

541
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,500
I don't want to witness that.

542
00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:03,082
‐ Griffin, I was lying
when I said I wasn't scared.

543
00:22:03,083 --> 00:22:04,042
I <i>am</i> scared.

544
00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:06,791
But I'm not scared about
what's gonna happen tonight.

545
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,500
I'm scared about
what's gonna happen after tonight.

546
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:10,625
You're going to Brown.

547
00:22:10,958 --> 00:22:13,541
And I'm gonna be stuck here
working at Chuck E. Cheese.

548
00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:14,958
And that's life, Griff.

549
00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:19,624
Look, you go and you beat that
Dr. Seuss promposal asshole to the punch.

550
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:21,041
You look Lena in the eyes and tell her

551
00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:23,417
exactly what you've wanted
to tell her your entire life.

552
00:22:23,917 --> 00:22:26,124
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.

553
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:28,500
We go to that party
and we win that Gauntlet.

554
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:32,083
This is our last chance
to make a great memory.

555
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:35,833
‐ Wow! That was really good.

556
00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:37,582
That was good.
‐ Thanks.

557
00:22:37,583 --> 00:22:38,749
‐ Did you practice that?

558
00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:40,708
‐ A couple of times. Yeah.

559
00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:45,874
‐ Ughhh!

560
00:22:45,875 --> 00:22:47,707
‐ I know that groan!

561
00:22:47,708 --> 00:22:49,500
‐ Ah, I still don't have a wristband.

562
00:22:50,417 --> 00:22:52,458
What is that? Hags, why are you winking?

563
00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:54,124
Man,
I just don't know about this.

564
00:22:54,125 --> 00:22:56,374
I haven't been over to Andrew's house
since, like, the second grade

565
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,999
when his mom did that thing
with the mousetrap.

566
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,082
‐ Who cares? He said
he has extra wristbands.

567
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:02,125
You need a wristband. Ring the bell.

568
00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:05,917
Should we call him?

569
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:07,292
He don't believe in phones.

570
00:23:10,792 --> 00:23:11,667
‐ Hello?

571
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,000
‐ Hello?
‐ Hello, hello.

572
00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:16,042
‐ Hello? Andrew?

573
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,167
Hello?

574
00:23:22,333 --> 00:23:23,832
Hi, Mrs. Hellmuth?

575
00:23:23,833 --> 00:23:25,000
‐ What do you want?

576
00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:27,999
‐ Uh, sorry for barging
in your home like this.

577
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,125
Is Andrew here?

578
00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:31,250
‐ Andrew?

579
00:23:32,083 --> 00:23:33,207
My, uh‐‐

580
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,542
‐ Your‐‐ ‐ Your son.

581
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,958
‐ Yeah. Son.

582
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,207
You're looking for him?

583
00:23:39,208 --> 00:23:41,292
‐ Uh, yes, ma'am.
It's kind of an emergency.

584
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:44,875
‐ You guys cops?

585
00:23:45,417 --> 00:23:46,582
‐ No.
‐ No.

586
00:23:46,583 --> 00:23:48,542
We're just‐‐
We're in high school.

587
00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:51,041
‐ Griffin? Hags?

588
00:23:51,042 --> 00:23:52,791
‐ Andrew!
‐ Holy shi‐‐

589
00:23:52,792 --> 00:23:54,707
Uh, it's okay, Mom. These are my friends.

590
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:56,124
‐ Your friends? Yeah, right.

591
00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:58,082
‐ I have friends, Mom!
Why don't you believe me?

592
00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,957
‐ Why don't I believe
that you have friends?

593
00:23:59,958 --> 00:24:02,749
Probably because your tendency
towards violence

594
00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:04,832
caused us to be banned
from the fucking church.

595
00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:07,374
‐ You didn't give me
my calming pills! That's why.

596
00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:11,499
‐ I canceled our family trip to Reno
to pay for your freaking calming pills!

597
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,749
Why do you think your father left?

598
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:14,666
You said my dad left
to pursue his dreams.

599
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:16,999
‐ His only dream was to leave this house.

600
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,417
Happy Binge!

601
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:21,166
‐ Fuck you, Mom!

602
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:24,957
I'll bury you behind a Jiffy Lube.
And my friends are gonna help me!

603
00:24:24,958 --> 00:24:26,666
‐ We will not be doing that.
‐ We're not, we're not gonna do that.

604
00:24:26,667 --> 00:24:27,749
‐ I mean, I don't even know him now.

605
00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:31,082
‐ You think I'm afraid
of a couple of <i>puto</i> cops?

606
00:24:31,083 --> 00:24:34,374
I spent 18 years in a Bangkok prison

607
00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,874
hanging upside down from my labia.

608
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,832
Two of those years,
I was pregnant with you.

609
00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:42,082
‐ That's not even true, Mom.
Who are you trying to impress?

610
00:24:42,083 --> 00:24:44,499
‐ Take these two guys up to my room

611
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,957
and show them the Chai Ming Fist Bump.

612
00:24:46,958 --> 00:24:47,999
I don't wanna see that.

613
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,416
‐ What the fuck does that even mean, Mom?

614
00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:52,999
‐ I'll burn that tongue if you ever speak
to me that way again.

615
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:53,750
‐ Do it!

616
00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:00,707
Dinner's in ten.

617
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:03,249
I love you!
‐ I love you, too!

618
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,083
‐ Give Mommy a kiss.

619
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:11,707
I'm so sorry about that, guys.

620
00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:13,957
‐ My mom, she just loves
showing off in front of my friends.

621
00:25:14,793 --> 00:25:16,457
‐ Listen, Andrew,
we're in a bit of a rush.

622
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,832
Uh, we just wanted to know
how much we would have to pay you

623
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:20,249
for those wristbands
you said you can get us?

624
00:25:20,250 --> 00:25:23,000
‐ Well, currency is an illusion
influenced by a false reality.

625
00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:25,082
I live my life on a bartering system.

626
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:26,457
‐ Okay, we can work with that.
‐ Oh.

627
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,417
‐ So what do you want?

628
00:25:28,375 --> 00:25:29,707
‐ To be your wingman tonight.

629
00:25:29,708 --> 00:25:31,499
‐ Well, of course you can, man.
‐ Really?

630
00:25:31,500 --> 00:25:33,500
‐ Yeah. That's‐‐
‐ Whoa, wait a minute.

631
00:25:33,958 --> 00:25:35,666
You see, me and Griffin, we're a duo.

632
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,875
We've never been a trio.
‐ What are you doing?

633
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:39,957
‐ Right. Right, right, right. Okay, okay.

634
00:25:39,958 --> 00:25:42,041
‐ Andrew, do you mind if Griffin
and I just have a sidebar over here.

635
00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:43,042
Not about you, at all.

636
00:25:43,043 --> 00:25:44,541
Is that okay? Thank you.
‐ What's going on?

637
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:47,124
‐ Whoa, we can't bring him, bro.
He's not helping our cool factor.

638
00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:49,874
‐ And you're doing wonders for
our cool factor bringing bonus overalls?

639
00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:52,707
Look, Lena has a wristband.
Sarah has a wristband! I need a wristband!

640
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,874
And having another person to pedal
that monstrosity outside

641
00:25:54,875 --> 00:25:56,291
- wouldn't hurt either.
- Fine.

642
00:25:56,292 --> 00:25:57,999
Fine. Andrew.

643
00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,791
‐ Yes.
‐ We're back. Sorry.

644
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:00,500
‐ Uh‐huh.

645
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,375
What‐‐ ‐ You're in.

646
00:26:01,376 --> 00:26:03,207
‐ Yeah, you can be our wingman tonight.

647
00:26:03,208 --> 00:26:03,750
‐ What?

648
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:04,625
- Yeah.
- Yes.

649
00:26:05,083 --> 00:26:05,500
‐ What?

650
00:26:05,501 --> 00:26:06,999
‐ Oh‐kay.

651
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,292
- Yeah. It's all right.
- Oh my god!

652
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:09,958
Wow! Uh‐‐

653
00:26:11,542 --> 00:26:14,791
I swear... I will not let you guys down.

654
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:16,042
‐ How 'bout those wristbands?

655
00:26:16,417 --> 00:26:17,707
‐ Ah, yes.

656
00:26:17,708 --> 00:26:19,332
Actually, I 3D printed them.

657
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:20,999
I 3D print a lot of stuff.

658
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,667
‐ Oh, awesome, man. These things‐‐

659
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,749
‐ Andrew, these are purple.

660
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,500
The Library Party wristbands are orange.

661
00:26:27,083 --> 00:26:29,416
‐ Yes. Hags, that is
a very good observation.

662
00:26:29,417 --> 00:26:32,916
You see, unfortunately,
the guy I usually barter with,

663
00:26:32,917 --> 00:26:34,624
he was all out of the orange filament so‐‐

664
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:36,875
‐ Well, that doesn't help us at all.
‐ Right, right, right. Uh‐‐

665
00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:39,249
My twin brother Seb has real ones.

666
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:41,292
‐ Seb? "The Ice Russian?"

667
00:26:42,208 --> 00:26:44,416
Didn't he go to juvie for stabbing
some guy with a screwdriver?

668
00:26:44,417 --> 00:26:45,832
‐ Wait, he's your twin brother?

669
00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:47,167
‐ Yeah. From a different father.

670
00:26:49,625 --> 00:26:51,000
‐ Excuse me.
‐ What?

671
00:26:51,708 --> 00:26:54,042
‐ Heteropaternal superfecundation.

672
00:26:56,208 --> 00:26:57,416
It's actually pretty common.

673
00:26:57,417 --> 00:27:00,041
You see, it's when a woman allows
two random sexual partners

674
00:27:00,042 --> 00:27:02,875
to ejaculate inside of her
during a special two‐egg ovulation.

675
00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:06,957
Yeah. And then she has fraternal twins
from two different fathers.

676
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:11,000
So I have a... half‐twin brother.
Or a full twin half‐brother.

677
00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,208
Halfernal for short. He's actually‐‐
He's, uh, six days older than me.

678
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,667
I was thinking we'd do the old switcheroo.

679
00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:21,082
All right,
just follow my bullshit.

680
00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:22,874
Okay, guys, listen to me.

681
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,125
No matter what he says, do not sit down.

682
00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:31,749
‐ Hello! How are you?

683
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,542
Uh, I'm Hags. This is Griffin.

684
00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:35,375
You know Andrew.

685
00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:39,958
That's a real beer.

686
00:27:41,750 --> 00:27:42,917
The fuck is it?

687
00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:46,792
‐ Go, go.

688
00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,000
‐ Ah, little brother.

689
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,750
What are you doing here?

690
00:27:54,751 --> 00:27:56,082
I thought you vowed
never to talk to me again

691
00:27:56,083 --> 00:27:58,541
after I made you eat all that tinsel
off the Christmas tree.

692
00:27:58,542 --> 00:28:00,207
‐ Time heals all wounds, brother.

693
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:01,832
Ah, there's always time to make another.

694
00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:03,332
Whoa. Okay. All right.

695
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,374
Guys, I think we're really getting off
on the wrong foot here.

696
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:06,375
‐ Are you cops?

697
00:28:06,376 --> 00:28:09,332
‐ We are literally in the same grade.
Why does everyone think we're cops?

698
00:28:09,333 --> 00:28:10,457
I don't really know.

699
00:28:10,458 --> 00:28:12,999
Oh! Uh, speaking of
the Library Party tonight,

700
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,791
we have these really cool
purple VIP wristbands,

701
00:28:15,792 --> 00:28:16,957
but we don't know where the entrance is.

702
00:28:16,958 --> 00:28:18,791
‐ Yeah, we can't find
any information online.

703
00:28:18,792 --> 00:28:22,292
‐ Yes. So, we just figured a couple top
cool all‐stars like yourselves would know.

704
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,667
‐ VIP?
‐ Yes.

705
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:28,583
‐ Have a seat.

706
00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:32,207
‐ We're standers.
‐ Sit!

707
00:28:32,208 --> 00:28:33,958
‐ Yeah, we can do that.
‐ Sure.

708
00:28:42,167 --> 00:28:42,958
‐ Ohh!

709
00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:46,625
Jersey Turnpike?

710
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:48,707
‐ Jersey Turnpike?

711
00:28:48,708 --> 00:28:50,457
‐ Half a line of protein,
half a line of creatine.

712
00:28:50,458 --> 00:28:51,999
‐ That's not even drugs?
‐ Yeah, why would I wanna do that?

713
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:52,667
I don't wanna do that.

714
00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,707
‐ If you're not a narc, then you
wouldn't mind doing a Jersey Turnpike.

715
00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:55,167
Oh!

716
00:28:55,168 --> 00:28:56,708
Dude, do the Jersey Turnpike.

717
00:29:01,292 --> 00:29:04,207
Whoa... that burns a lot.

718
00:29:04,208 --> 00:29:05,042
‐ Yeah, baby!

719
00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:06,958
So let me get this straight.

720
00:29:07,958 --> 00:29:10,916
You come into my personal space
with your purple wristbands

721
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,124
and this talk of VIP.

722
00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:14,958
You think you're what, just gonna,

723
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,832
just waltz out of here?

724
00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:19,833
Oh!

725
00:29:22,667 --> 00:29:24,042
‐ Well, you got another thing coming,

726
00:29:27,167 --> 00:29:28,625
because I would love...

727
00:29:31,333 --> 00:29:33,000
to compensate you for those.

728
00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:36,000
Generously.

729
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:36,917
‐ Yeah, that‐‐

730
00:29:36,918 --> 00:29:38,041
‐ How's a grand sound?

731
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,082
‐ Pssh.
‐ That works.

732
00:29:39,083 --> 00:29:40,416
‐ That's a pretty good deal.
‐ That's great.

733
00:29:40,417 --> 00:29:41,167
‐ Perfect for us.
‐ Huh?

734
00:29:41,168 --> 00:29:43,542
‐ 'Cause no offense,
'cause you're not really the VIP type.

735
00:29:44,917 --> 00:29:45,875
You stand out.

736
00:29:45,876 --> 00:29:47,291
‐ We totally agree.

737
00:29:47,292 --> 00:29:48,582
Thank you for being so honest.

738
00:29:48,583 --> 00:29:49,749
Oh‐kay!

739
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:52,082
This guy, man. He really likes that thing.

740
00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:54,666
‐ Okay, so if you guys are good,
I think we're good. We're definitely good.

741
00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,499
So I think then that's it.
I think that's it then.

742
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,082
So we'll just swap our VIP wristbands
for your normal ones. And that's good.

743
00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:00,332
These are for you.
‐ Thank you, Seb.

744
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,749
Give my boy the cash, all right.

745
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:04,666
It was nice doing business with you.
‐ Oh, oh, I just have one more question.

746
00:30:04,667 --> 00:30:05,708
Come on.

747
00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:09,042
‐ It's a secret.
‐ It's... it's‐‐

748
00:30:11,917 --> 00:30:13,041
‐ Ahh!
‐ Whoa! Whoa!

749
00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,082
‐ You think I'm fucking stupid?

750
00:30:14,083 --> 00:30:15,249
‐ No, sir! No, we do not.
‐ Huh?

751
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:16,332
You come in here.

752
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:17,749
You try to take the Gauntlet win from us?

753
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,542
You got‐‐

754
00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:20,833
Oww!

755
00:30:21,792 --> 00:30:24,249
Oh fuck! Ow!

756
00:30:24,250 --> 00:30:27,207
Wha‐‐ No! What the fuck? Oh, you shot me!

757
00:30:27,208 --> 00:30:28,167
‐ Now let me friend go!

758
00:30:28,168 --> 00:30:29,332
‐ I'm not touching him. He's over there.

759
00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:30,666
‐ Let him go!

760
00:30:30,667 --> 00:30:31,667
‐ I'm not even near him!

761
00:30:31,668 --> 00:30:33,166
‐ Give me the wristbands

762
00:30:33,167 --> 00:30:34,666
or the next one's in the breadbasket,

763
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:35,832
I fucking swear to God!

764
00:30:35,833 --> 00:30:36,916
‐ Give it to him. Give it to him.

765
00:30:36,917 --> 00:30:37,917
Okay, good. Calm down‐‐

766
00:30:39,042 --> 00:30:41,167
Oh.

767
00:30:43,083 --> 00:30:45,124
‐ Oh my god! You shot my dick!

768
00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:46,416
You shot my dick!

769
00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:48,707
‐ Oh!
‐ All right, motherfuckers.

770
00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:50,707
‐ He shot my penis.
‐ You shot his penis.

771
00:30:50,708 --> 00:30:52,374
‐ There's gonna be‐‐
‐ Oww! What the‐‐

772
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:53,666
‐ I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hags.

773
00:30:53,667 --> 00:30:55,874
‐ Goddammit! You shot me in my neck!

774
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:56,708
‐ God, I don't want to look at it.

775
00:30:56,709 --> 00:30:57,791
I didn't mean to! I'm sorry.

776
00:30:57,792 --> 00:30:58,792
‐ We gotta go!

777
00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:00,207
‐ Don't pull it out! Don't pull it out!

778
00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:01,582
- Go! Go! Go!
- Go!

779
00:31:01,583 --> 00:31:02,250
‐ Get 'em!

780
00:31:02,251 --> 00:31:04,541
We got the wristbands.
Let's go. We got 'em.

781
00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:06,124
I'm sorry!

782
00:31:06,125 --> 00:31:07,457
What the fuck?

783
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:08,000
Come on, get 'em!

784
00:31:08,875 --> 00:31:10,082
- Pump it!
- I'm gonna kick your ass!

785
00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:12,458
‐ It's right on the shaft.
It's right on the shaft.

786
00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:15,750
Did we lose them?

787
00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:16,750
Do you think we can stop?

788
00:31:16,751 --> 00:31:18,207
- Ow.
- I think we're good.

789
00:31:18,208 --> 00:31:19,458
- Owww!
- I think we can stop!

790
00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:22,458
Oh!

791
00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:23,667
Oh, that was crazy.

792
00:31:24,500 --> 00:31:25,292
Ahh!

793
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,958
Oww!

794
00:31:26,959 --> 00:31:28,582
All right. We're okay.

795
00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:29,874
‐ That was so crazy.

796
00:31:29,875 --> 00:31:32,249
‐ I got a dart in my neck!

797
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:33,916
I have a dart in my neck.

798
00:31:33,917 --> 00:31:36,291
‐ I'm sorry, Hags. I didn't mean to.

799
00:31:36,292 --> 00:31:37,874
‐ Griffin, what the fuck is on your face?

800
00:31:37,875 --> 00:31:39,916
‐ What?
‐ What's on your face?

801
00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:41,249
Oh! Oh my god.

802
00:31:41,250 --> 00:31:42,457
‐ I don't know, it's stuck.

803
00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,666
‐ You gotta rip it off.
‐ Holy‐‐

804
00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,791
‐ Just rip it?
‐ Like a Band‐Aid.

805
00:31:44,792 --> 00:31:48,041
‐ No, just take it off your‐‐ Oh shit!
‐ Oh!

806
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:52,249
Ohhh! Fuck you. That hurts so bad!

807
00:31:52,250 --> 00:31:53,292
You really went for it.

808
00:31:53,667 --> 00:31:55,249
‐ Why is there hair on the paper?

809
00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:56,666
Okay, okay.

810
00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:58,375
‐ Andrew, did I just rip my eyebrow off?

811
00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,541
‐ No, not all of it.

812
00:32:00,542 --> 00:32:01,791
Ohh!

813
00:32:01,792 --> 00:32:04,041
‐ Oh fuck! Uh‐‐

814
00:32:04,042 --> 00:32:07,083
Okay. Okay. How long does it take
for an eyebrow to grow back?

815
00:32:07,750 --> 00:32:08,791
‐ Six to twelve months.

816
00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:10,707
‐ Months!
‐ Couple weeks to get one shipped.

817
00:32:10,708 --> 00:32:12,791
‐ I need serious medical attention here.

818
00:32:12,792 --> 00:32:15,416
‐ I can't talk to Lena like this.
I can't talk to Lena with one eyebrow.

819
00:32:15,417 --> 00:32:17,457
‐ You guys need
some Library Party wristbands?

820
00:32:17,458 --> 00:32:18,333
$50.

821
00:32:20,583 --> 00:32:22,458
‐ So, you guys need 'em?
I got 'em. Fifty bucks.

822
00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:23,917
‐ What?

823
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,250
I got the Tahini,
the green pepper.

824
00:32:31,667 --> 00:32:33,708
And finish it off with that <i>limon.</i>

825
00:32:34,542 --> 00:32:35,292
See what you think.

826
00:32:35,292 --> 00:32:36,042
‐ All right.

827
00:32:39,333 --> 00:32:40,208
Oh my god.

828
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:43,166
That is the most perfect hummus as always.

829
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:45,042
‐ That's just a hobby. It's pretty good.

830
00:32:46,042 --> 00:32:48,832
‐ Um... think I'm gonna
go upstairs and study,

831
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:49,625
get ready for bed.

832
00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:50,417
‐ Study?

833
00:32:51,167 --> 00:32:52,916
Well, you already got into Brown.

834
00:32:52,917 --> 00:32:55,499
You should be having some fun.
You're not gonna be a teenager forever.

835
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:58,457
‐ Uh... maybe tomorrow night, Dad.

836
00:32:58,458 --> 00:32:59,749
‐ All right. Well, you're gonna have
a hard time sleeping.

837
00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:00,708
I've laid a piece of wood out,

838
00:33:00,709 --> 00:33:03,374
and I'm gonna carve
one of those gnome walking sticks.

839
00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:05,667
I know they're ugly bastards, but
I'm drawn to them.

840
00:33:06,042 --> 00:33:07,666
‐ I like 'em.
‐ You get some rest.

841
00:33:07,667 --> 00:33:08,667
‐ Okay.

842
00:33:08,668 --> 00:33:10,291
‐ Change your mind, we got
a bowl of hummus down here.

843
00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:17,042
Get off my lawn,
you tweaking son of a bitch!

844
00:33:17,667 --> 00:33:18,999
I'll come out there and bu‐‐

845
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,000
Who the hell you talking to?

846
00:33:20,001 --> 00:33:21,707
‐ I'm so sorry, Mrs. Clarkson.

847
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,457
I thought you were a Binger. My fault.

848
00:33:23,458 --> 00:33:25,250
Come on over. I got some hummus for you.

849
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:27,625
Whoo!

850
00:33:31,292 --> 00:33:33,124
You guys really think
this looks okay?

851
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:35,041
‐ Honestly, I think
it's better than before.

852
00:33:35,042 --> 00:33:37,457
Wow. You are an artist, Hags.

853
00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:38,582
Thank you, Andrew,

854
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,957
you crazy son of a bitch.

855
00:33:39,958 --> 00:33:40,999
You know, you were awesome back there.

856
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:41,833
‐ You really were, man.

857
00:33:41,834 --> 00:33:44,499
‐ Really? ‐ Yeah, you were
all like, "Oh, let my friends go!"

858
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:45,292
‐ That was crazy!

859
00:33:45,293 --> 00:33:47,624
‐ Yeah. Like a modern day Moses!

860
00:33:47,625 --> 00:33:48,375
‐ Sure.

861
00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:50,749
‐ Oh, Seb's gonna murder me

862
00:33:50,750 --> 00:33:52,249
and you guys too at some point,

863
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:54,582
but net‐net, I think it was worth it.

864
00:33:54,583 --> 00:33:56,624
‐ Three whiskey shots.

865
00:33:56,625 --> 00:33:58,499
Enjoy!

866
00:33:58,500 --> 00:33:59,625
Happy Binge.

867
00:34:00,042 --> 00:34:01,166
- Sick brow!
- Oh.

868
00:34:01,167 --> 00:34:02,125
‐ Told you!

869
00:34:02,126 --> 00:34:03,624
‐ Thank you, ma'am.

870
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:06,041
‐ Um, maybe we should just get
to the party, you know.

871
00:34:06,042 --> 00:34:06,792
Beat the rush.

872
00:34:06,793 --> 00:34:09,582
‐ We are not trying to get
discount printers on Black Friday.

873
00:34:09,583 --> 00:34:10,167
To the Binge!

874
00:34:10,168 --> 00:34:11,791
‐ But what if promposal guy
beats me there?

875
00:34:11,792 --> 00:34:15,124
‐ Lena is not there yet.
I can promise you that, okay.

876
00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:16,874
Plus, you don't wanna go dead sober.

877
00:34:16,875 --> 00:34:17,999
Which is why I brought you here,

878
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,499
because you get all locked up around her.

879
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,207
Right? To the Binge!

880
00:34:21,208 --> 00:34:22,916
‐ Hags is absolutely right, by the way.

881
00:34:22,917 --> 00:34:25,083
People are more likely
to have sex while on drugs.

882
00:34:25,625 --> 00:34:28,458
My mom got pregnant with Seb
and I while she was on cat tranquilizer.

883
00:34:28,792 --> 00:34:30,000
‐ Why did we ever stop hanging out?

884
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:32,249
‐ That's a funny story, Hags.

885
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:34,541
Remember Greg Olivotti's
roller rink party,

886
00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:37,332
where you guys convinced me
to do the <i>Mambo No. 5</i> shuffle?

887
00:34:37,333 --> 00:34:40,374
Well, I crashed into Christina Barnes
and dislocated her shoulder,

888
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,166
and then she couldn't go
to the cheer finals in Fort Lauderdale.

889
00:34:43,167 --> 00:34:44,958
They ended up losing,
and everyone blamed me.

890
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:46,957
Then I come to find out
there's no such thing

891
00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:48,667
as the <i>Mambo No. 5</i> shuffle to begin with.

892
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:51,250
That kind of changed
the course of my life.

893
00:34:51,958 --> 00:34:53,916
‐ Wow. I totally forgot about that.

894
00:34:53,917 --> 00:34:55,207
‐ Yeah. Me too.

895
00:34:55,208 --> 00:34:57,082
Sorry about that, man.
‐ I'm really sorry, man.

896
00:34:57,083 --> 00:34:58,832
‐ It's okay. I mean,
hey, we're together now.

897
00:34:58,833 --> 00:34:59,625
That's all that matters.

898
00:34:59,626 --> 00:35:01,499
It just means that we're gonna have
to pack half a decade

899
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:02,791
of could‐have‐beens into one night!

900
00:35:02,792 --> 00:35:03,957
‐ Amen to that!

901
00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:06,082
‐ Okay, I'll have a drink.
I don't want to embarrass myself.

902
00:35:06,083 --> 00:35:07,124
But then we really need to go.

903
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:09,750
‐ To our first sip of alcohol.

904
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,250
To the Binge.

905
00:35:11,250 --> 00:35:12,083
‐ Yeah.

906
00:35:12,084 --> 00:35:13,791
‐ Cheers, fellas.
‐ Okay.

907
00:35:13,792 --> 00:35:14,667
Uhh!

908
00:35:23,833 --> 00:35:24,750
‐ Another round?

909
00:35:24,751 --> 00:35:25,916
‐ Absolutely!

910
00:35:25,917 --> 00:35:27,792
‐ I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
‐ I'll have some celery sticks!

911
00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:52,499
<i>Bingers. Bingers. Bingers!</i>

912
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,249
<i>Come on down to the Carnegie Library</i>

913
00:35:54,250 --> 00:35:56,374
<i>for your chance to become
a part of history</i>

914
00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:58,707
<i>in this year's Gauntlet.</i>

915
00:35:58,708 --> 00:36:01,666
<i>Four grueling rounds of drug
and alcohol‐infused competition</i>

916
00:36:01,667 --> 00:36:03,624
<i>of mind, body, and soul.</i>

917
00:36:03,625 --> 00:36:06,082
<i>You've heard the rumors, now live them.</i>

918
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:09,457
<i>Maybe even see the return of
the Gauntlet's most legendary Valleyman.</i>

919
00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:10,417
<i>El Pantera.</i>

920
00:36:11,458 --> 00:36:14,166
<i>One night only. This year's Gauntlet.</i>

921
00:36:14,167 --> 00:36:17,249
<i>Be there! And don't die!</i>

922
00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:19,582
<i>Gauntlet legends.</i>

923
00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:21,916
<i>What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.</i>

924
00:36:29,667 --> 00:36:30,791
Hags' hotline.

925
00:36:30,792 --> 00:36:32,125
<i>‐ Hags? Hags?
‐ Hello, Hags.</i>

926
00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:34,041
‐ Sarah. Hey!

927
00:36:34,042 --> 00:36:35,000
<i>Are you in a bathroom?</i>

928
00:36:35,001 --> 00:36:36,541
‐ Yeah‐‐ No, I'm not in a bathroom.

929
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:40,874
I am at a Pre‐Binge VIP Party.

930
00:36:40,875 --> 00:36:43,125
<i>‐ Definitely looks like the bathroom
of a Whack‐A‐Doodle's.</i>

931
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:46,832
‐ Wow! That's crazy. I know, right?

932
00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:48,624
<i>‐ I remember you saying that
you were going to the Library Party,</i>

933
00:36:48,625 --> 00:36:50,291
<i>and I was wondering
if you could pick us up.</i>

934
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:51,707
‐ Um, what happened to the limo?

935
00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:52,791
<i>He's, like, an hour late.</i>

936
00:36:52,792 --> 00:36:54,625
<i>Can you come pick us up please.
We really want to ride you!</i>

937
00:36:55,167 --> 00:36:57,542
‐ What? SARAH: <i>I said, we
really want to ride with you.</i>

938
00:36:58,458 --> 00:36:59,874
I don't get
why Lena'd be at Sarah's.

939
00:36:59,875 --> 00:37:01,499
Everyone's at Sarah's.

940
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:04,166
It's the official unofficial
pre‐game party.

941
00:37:04,167 --> 00:37:05,957
Hey! Who's the lucky bachelorette?

942
00:37:05,958 --> 00:37:07,416
<i>Mazel tov,</i> nerds.

943
00:37:07,417 --> 00:37:09,749
Maybe we should pull over for
a little bit and just collect ourselves.

944
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:10,916
No, fellas, we're almost there.

945
00:37:10,917 --> 00:37:11,833
I'm gonna throw up.

946
00:37:13,625 --> 00:37:16,707
‐ You make me do this stupid shit,
and I'm supposed to be the mysterious one?

947
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:19,124
‐ Do you want to hit triple digit likes
or do you want to stay in the low 60s

948
00:37:19,125 --> 00:37:20,541
like Erika Mendelson?

949
00:37:20,542 --> 00:37:22,249
‐ What in the fuck is that?

950
00:37:22,250 --> 00:37:23,624
Ladies,

951
00:37:23,625 --> 00:37:26,249
your chariot has arrived.

952
00:37:26,250 --> 00:37:27,916
‐ Ew, what happened to your eyebrow?

953
00:37:27,917 --> 00:37:29,374
‐ He's got cancer. Next question?

954
00:37:29,375 --> 00:37:30,083
‐ I don't have cancer.

955
00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:32,832
‐ He's just being modest.
‐ Have you guys seen Lena at all?

956
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:34,207
‐ I don't know who that is.
‐ Who the fuck is Lena?

957
00:37:34,208 --> 00:37:36,749
‐ She smells good.
‐ Ladies, you guys know Andrew, right?

958
00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:38,332
‐ You're Ice Russian's twin.

959
00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:40,166
Didn't you set the lacrosse field on fire?

960
00:37:40,167 --> 00:37:42,333
Uhh, somebody had to do it.

961
00:37:43,083 --> 00:37:43,583
‐ Cool.

962
00:37:44,125 --> 00:37:47,417
‐ Listen, ladies, check it out,
we got, we got ten seats.

963
00:37:47,917 --> 00:37:49,291
Eleven, if you count my face.

964
00:37:49,292 --> 00:37:50,375
‐ What do you mean by that?

965
00:37:51,417 --> 00:37:52,667
There's a whole squad of y'all,

966
00:37:53,125 --> 00:37:55,417
and there just might not be enough seats.

967
00:37:55,958 --> 00:37:58,917
‐ Sorry, Hags. Our limo driver called.
He's gonna be here any minute.

968
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,707
‐ But... but we came
all this way to rescue you.

969
00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:04,708
‐ It's just that being in a limo
sounds like a lot more fun than...

970
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,042
whatever that thing is.

971
00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:09,582
‐ Hey, do you think we could ride
with you guys?

972
00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:10,707
This thing is super hard to pedal.

973
00:38:10,708 --> 00:38:12,999
‐ I'm so sorry, our seats are spoken for.

974
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,916
‐ Do you know how many people die
in limos per year?

975
00:38:15,917 --> 00:38:17,791
Right? If you think
a regular car accident is bad,

976
00:38:17,792 --> 00:38:20,707
now imagine you with 19
of your best friends

977
00:38:20,708 --> 00:38:22,582
all dying at the same time?

978
00:38:22,583 --> 00:38:24,291
Right? Think of your families.

979
00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,958
Wouldn't that be awful? Just awful.

980
00:38:27,333 --> 00:38:29,707
They will never recover from this
type of trauma. ‐ Hags! Hags! Hags!

981
00:38:29,708 --> 00:38:30,832
Hags!
‐ What?

982
00:38:32,292 --> 00:38:33,083
‐ Fuck!

983
00:38:33,084 --> 00:38:34,541
- Oh no!
- Bye!

984
00:38:34,542 --> 00:38:36,416
- My life's work.
- No! No!

985
00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,874
Oh no!

986
00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:39,457
No! Fuck! Fuck!

987
00:38:39,458 --> 00:38:40,083
Oh no.

988
00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,332
Oh god!

989
00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:42,167
Oh no!

990
00:38:42,750 --> 00:38:44,541
‐ Nooo!

991
00:38:44,542 --> 00:38:46,208
How did it turn like that?

992
00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:53,583
Uh‐‐
Guys!

993
00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:57,792
Oh shit!

994
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:58,833
No!

995
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:01,583
Hey!

996
00:39:01,584 --> 00:39:03,166
- Wait.
- Hey! Hey!

997
00:39:03,167 --> 00:39:05,624
We're saved. We're saved!

998
00:39:05,625 --> 00:39:06,749
Wait!

999
00:39:06,750 --> 00:39:07,583
- Yes!
- Wait.

1000
00:39:07,584 --> 00:39:09,374
Wait

1001
00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:10,416
- Sarah!
- Don't go.

1002
00:39:10,417 --> 00:39:12,042
- No! No!
- Hey!

1003
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,708
Goddammit!

1004
00:39:16,292 --> 00:39:17,042
Shit!

1005
00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:19,792
‐ It's Lena.

1006
00:39:20,417 --> 00:39:22,332
She just texted from the party.
She asked how long till we're there.

1007
00:39:22,333 --> 00:39:23,541
‐ Soon!
‐ How?

1008
00:39:23,542 --> 00:39:25,249
‐ We'll figure it out, okay.
We'll get there.

1009
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:27,832
Just stall! Tell her
we're picking up some booze.

1010
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,332
Or actually some presents!

1011
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:30,958
- Chicks love presents.
- And astrology.

1012
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:33,332
Just tell her that you're a Leo!
That's why you're getting the presents.

1013
00:39:33,333 --> 00:39:34,374
‐ I'm a Virgo, though.

1014
00:39:34,375 --> 00:39:36,707
‐ That's even better. That means that
your emotions rise with the tides!

1015
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:37,916
‐ How do you know so much about astrology?

1016
00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:39,582
‐ I had a pen‐pal that went to Space Camp.

1017
00:39:39,583 --> 00:39:41,582
‐ Wait, okay, that's a really good idea.
Let me think. Let me think for a second.

1018
00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:43,999
Uh... uh... "I'm at Sarah's.

1019
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,207
"I'm just getting you presents

1020
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:47,457
because I'm a Virgo." Send.

1021
00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:48,666
‐ Nice.
‐ Yeah?

1022
00:39:48,667 --> 00:39:50,207
‐ Proud of you.
‐ Thanks, guys.

1023
00:39:50,208 --> 00:39:51,125
‐ Proud of you.

1024
00:39:53,042 --> 00:39:54,832
‐ It autocorrected to
"I'm gonna get you pregnant

1025
00:39:54,833 --> 00:39:55,833
because I'm a virgin!"

1026
00:39:55,834 --> 00:39:57,499
Fuck!
‐ Oh no.

1027
00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,249
‐ I'm sorry. Typo.

1028
00:39:59,250 --> 00:40:00,125
Auto‐‐

1029
00:40:01,293 --> 00:40:03,124
Fuck! I doubled down.
‐ Damn!

1030
00:40:03,125 --> 00:40:05,417
‐ Fuck! Wait, there's bubbles,
there's bubbles, she's typing.

1031
00:40:07,083 --> 00:40:08,707
The bubbles went away.
Why'd the bubbles go away?

1032
00:40:08,708 --> 00:40:10,249
Guys, this is really, really bad.
What do I do?

1033
00:40:10,250 --> 00:40:12,457
‐ You relax. You wait for her
to respond, right?

1034
00:40:12,458 --> 00:40:14,166
She might be into it.
You gotta gauge her temperature.

1035
00:40:14,167 --> 00:40:16,124
‐ It said, "getting pregnant."
Why would she be into that?

1036
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,374
‐ Just, like, keep tapping it.
It might go away.

1037
00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:21,417
Oh my god.

1038
00:40:21,418 --> 00:40:22,624
‐ Oh shit.
‐ Yes!

1039
00:40:22,625 --> 00:40:25,124
Yes! See, I told you
she wouldn't leave us.

1040
00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:27,041
Come on! Hey, Sarah!

1041
00:40:27,042 --> 00:40:28,332
You guys need a ride?

1042
00:40:28,333 --> 00:40:29,582
‐ Yes, please, thank you.
‐ That would be amazing. Please.

1043
00:40:29,583 --> 00:40:30,458
‐ Stop.

1044
00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,749
We'll give you a ride if you‐‐

1045
00:40:33,750 --> 00:40:34,625
‐ Suck each other?

1046
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,917
‐ Punch each other in the face.

1047
00:40:39,375 --> 00:40:40,167
- What?
- Yeah.

1048
00:40:40,168 --> 00:40:42,582
‐ Sarah, come on, please.
Just give us a ride.

1049
00:40:42,583 --> 00:40:44,332
Griffin's got to go ask
his girlfriend to prom.

1050
00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:45,624
‐ I'm not fucking kidding.
‐ Mm‐mm.

1051
00:40:45,625 --> 00:40:47,207
‐ If you guys want to get in this car,

1052
00:40:47,208 --> 00:40:49,916
you need to punch each other in the faces
like you fucking mean it.

1053
00:40:49,917 --> 00:40:52,291
‐ Guys, guys, I've been punched
in the face before.

1054
00:40:52,292 --> 00:40:54,499
It's not so bad, okay.
Just picture the other guy naked.

1055
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:56,249
‐ What? Guys, no. We're not punching
each other in the face.

1056
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:57,624
‐ Griffin, this is our only ride.

1057
00:40:57,625 --> 00:40:59,707
‐ Sarah, this is crazy, right?
I mean, come on.

1058
00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:01,499
You don't actually want us
to punch each other in the face.

1059
00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:02,375
‐ Fuck these guys. Let's go.

1060
00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:03,250
‐ We'll do it. We'll do it.

1061
00:41:03,251 --> 00:41:05,207
Okay, Sarah, we're gonna do it!
We're gonna do it!

1062
00:41:05,208 --> 00:41:07,707
Just punch me. Just punch me
and let's get this shit over with.

1063
00:41:07,708 --> 00:41:09,416
‐ That's so dumb.
‐ Remember drama camp class?

1064
00:41:09,417 --> 00:41:11,707
I'm gonna sell that shit to the left.
Bang. Right there.

1065
00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:12,957
Right there. Ready?
‐ Ready?

1066
00:41:12,958 --> 00:41:13,958
One,

1067
00:41:14,417 --> 00:41:14,958
two‐‐

1068
00:41:15,458 --> 00:41:17,041
Oww!

1069
00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:17,750
‐ What the fuck?

1070
00:41:17,751 --> 00:41:19,457
‐ Oh, why would you do that?

1071
00:41:19,458 --> 00:41:20,999
‐ Now it's over. It's not so bad, right?

1072
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,541
‐ Bad. Very, very, very bad, Andrew. Fuck!

1073
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,749
‐ The trick to getting punched in the face
is to not see it coming.

1074
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:26,708
‐ That was my fucking ear!

1075
00:41:26,709 --> 00:41:28,416
Okay. One down, two to go.

1076
00:41:28,417 --> 00:41:31,082
Andrew, I'm gonna punch you.
Griffin, you punch me.

1077
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:31,750
‐ Okay.
‐ Ready?

1078
00:41:31,751 --> 00:41:32,832
‐ Right.
‐ On the count of three.

1079
00:41:32,833 --> 00:41:34,707
‐ Got it.
‐ One, two, three‐‐

1080
00:41:34,708 --> 00:41:38,416
Ow! What the fu‐‐ Ow!

1081
00:41:38,417 --> 00:41:40,416
Is your head made out of a filing cabinet?

1082
00:41:40,417 --> 00:41:41,582
‐ Okay, now your turn, Hags!

1083
00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,707
‐ Okay. Okay. My turn.
‐ You ready?

1084
00:41:43,708 --> 00:41:45,249
‐ I'm ready. Here we go.
‐ Here we go.

1085
00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:45,875
You ready?

1086
00:41:45,875 --> 00:41:46,708
‐ Punch me.
‐ Okay.

1087
00:41:46,709 --> 00:41:48,291
‐ On the count of three.
‐ Look at me.

1088
00:41:48,292 --> 00:41:50,250
One, two‐‐

1089
00:41:50,667 --> 00:41:51,667
‐ Wait a minute!
‐ Okay.

1090
00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:53,082
‐ Just give me a minute.
‐ Okay.

1091
00:41:53,083 --> 00:41:55,166
‐ Come on, Hags.
‐ Okay. Sarah, I'm doing this sh‐‐

1092
00:41:55,167 --> 00:41:56,249
Ahh!

1093
00:41:56,250 --> 00:41:58,457
‐ Shit!
Oh‐‐ In the neck!

1094
00:41:58,458 --> 00:41:59,999
‐ Fuck, you hit my throat.

1095
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,832
‐ You okay?
‐ What happened to the "Go"?

1096
00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:03,166
‐ I've never punched someone
in the face before.

1097
00:42:03,167 --> 00:42:04,874
My inner‐ear balance is all messed up.

1098
00:42:04,875 --> 00:42:06,499
I can't believe
you guys just did that.

1099
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:08,125
We would have let you in the car anyway.

1100
00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:09,583
‐ I can't swallow.

1101
00:42:09,584 --> 00:42:11,082
‐ I fucking love tonight.

1102
00:42:11,083 --> 00:42:12,999
Oh my god. Get in, you earned it.

1103
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,292
‐ We're all good, right?

1104
00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:16,457
‐ Stop. What are you guys doing?

1105
00:42:16,458 --> 00:42:18,083
Go in the front.
There's no room back here.

1106
00:42:18,625 --> 00:42:20,000
Fucking virgins.

1107
00:42:20,625 --> 00:42:22,999
‐ Oh man!

1108
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,791
Sorry about that
punchdrunk love back there.

1109
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:27,707
Looks like you guys really took
some shit to the face!

1110
00:42:27,708 --> 00:42:29,541
That was cool. Chicks said you'd dig it.

1111
00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:31,999
I doubt it! Right? I'm Pompano Mike!

1112
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,624
‐ Hey.
‐ Pompano, huh?

1113
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,541
‐ Yeah.
‐ My grandparents live in Florida!

1114
00:42:35,542 --> 00:42:37,041
‐ Oh! What are their names?
‐ Uh‐‐

1115
00:42:37,042 --> 00:42:38,582
‐ I'm just kidding, I'm not from there.

1116
00:42:38,583 --> 00:42:40,791
I just like to live my life
in a South Florida state of mind!

1117
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,416
Strap on your dicks, boys,

1118
00:42:42,417 --> 00:42:43,292
here we go!

1119
00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:48,041
<i>And so as daylight
fades across the landscape</i>

1120
00:42:48,042 --> 00:42:51,042
<i>and the moon sits perched
in the night sky,</i>

1121
00:42:51,583 --> 00:42:55,832
<i>the effects of the poison grip
the minds of all who imbibe.</i>

1122
00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:58,541
<i>Some will live to tell a tale of growth</i>

1123
00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:02,375
<i>while other may fall prey
to the dark side.</i>

1124
00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,874
It's getting crazy out there.

1125
00:43:10,083 --> 00:43:13,166
You know, I know tonight brings up
a lot of embarrassing memories

1126
00:43:13,167 --> 00:43:15,583
for... both of us.

1127
00:43:17,500 --> 00:43:18,833
Your mom leaving,

1128
00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:20,417
the RV fires.

1129
00:43:20,958 --> 00:43:22,624
I was actually hoping
to talk to you about it tonight,

1130
00:43:22,625 --> 00:43:24,458
but, uh, you sleep like a dead sailor.

1131
00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:26,958
You snore like my Uncle Stretch.

1132
00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:30,375
Have to get you
a sleep apnea machine for college.

1133
00:43:33,708 --> 00:43:34,500
College.

1134
00:43:36,958 --> 00:43:38,582
Where does all the time go, huh?

1135
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:42,042
<i>The time is 8:51 p. m.</i>

1136
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,124
"I'm at Sarah's.

1137
00:43:55,125 --> 00:43:57,417
I'm gonna get you pregnant
because I'm a virgin!"

1138
00:43:57,875 --> 00:43:58,708
Griffin.

1139
00:44:01,417 --> 00:44:03,000
Griffin, you son of a bitch.

1140
00:44:05,667 --> 00:44:06,458
Sarah.

1141
00:44:07,958 --> 00:44:10,166
Sarah Martin's Dank‐Ass Pre‐Game.

1142
00:44:10,167 --> 00:44:14,082
‐ Whoo!
‐ We're gonna live forever!

1143
00:44:14,083 --> 00:44:17,082
I'm also gonna live forever!

1144
00:44:17,083 --> 00:44:18,249
‐ What the fuck?

1145
00:44:18,250 --> 00:44:19,957
‐ No, get down. Come on.
‐ This is our thing.

1146
00:44:19,958 --> 00:44:21,583
- This is our thing.
- Sorry.

1147
00:44:22,292 --> 00:44:23,791
Whoo!

1148
00:44:27,792 --> 00:44:31,417
‐ Give me a YOLO
and one ass cheek on three.

1149
00:44:32,875 --> 00:44:34,791
‐ Pretty cool car, man.

1150
00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:35,625
‐ Yeah, thanks.

1151
00:44:35,626 --> 00:44:37,457
You know, this is
the last remaining automobile

1152
00:44:37,458 --> 00:44:39,166
from Xzibit's <i>Pimp My Ride</i> show.

1153
00:44:39,167 --> 00:44:41,916
Probably before your time.
I'm pretty bad with ages.

1154
00:44:41,917 --> 00:44:45,291
What are you guys, like, 36? 38?

1155
00:44:45,292 --> 00:44:48,499
‐ Uh... 18.
‐ Nice! That was a fun age.

1156
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:49,750
Ah, you guys are totally legal!

1157
00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:52,000
You know what? Check this out!

1158
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:55,124
On Binge night, I load up, baby.

1159
00:44:55,125 --> 00:44:56,707
‐ Pompano, you know driving
under the influence

1160
00:44:56,708 --> 00:44:58,166
is still against the law tonight, right?

1161
00:44:58,167 --> 00:44:58,667
‐ Yeah.

1162
00:44:58,668 --> 00:45:01,624
But the only way to avoid drivers
under the influence

1163
00:45:01,625 --> 00:45:03,417
is to be over the influence.

1164
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,082
That was my senior quote.

1165
00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:07,999
I thought it was pretty wise
at the time, and I still do.

1166
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,041
You wanna tug on that?

1167
00:45:09,042 --> 00:45:10,666
Tug it up.
‐ Uh, no, I'm good‐‐

1168
00:45:10,667 --> 00:45:11,417
‐ Take it to tug town.

1169
00:45:12,042 --> 00:45:14,707
Besides, the cops are pretty lenient
tonight, anyways.

1170
00:45:14,708 --> 00:45:17,999
Especially when they find out that
my Uncle Rick invented the Chia Pet.

1171
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,582
Wasn't really my uncle, he just was a man.

1172
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,999
That's it. Suck it down pipe, guys!

1173
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,957
Good, good, good. Suck it down pipe!

1174
00:45:24,958 --> 00:45:25,833
‐ What?

1175
00:45:25,834 --> 00:45:27,749
‐ Put it to your lips
and suck it down pipe!

1176
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:30,542
Yeah.

1177
00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:34,166
Suck it down pipe!

1178
00:45:34,167 --> 00:45:35,541
‐ Can you stop saying that?

1179
00:45:35,542 --> 00:45:37,166
‐ Ha! Suck it down pipe!

1180
00:45:37,167 --> 00:45:38,416
Suck it down pipe!
‐ I'm okay, man.

1181
00:45:38,417 --> 00:45:39,750
I don't want to cloud
my judgment anymore.

1182
00:45:40,292 --> 00:45:42,374
‐ You know, the best way to deal
with troubles in your life

1183
00:45:42,375 --> 00:45:43,666
is lots of drugs.

1184
00:45:43,667 --> 00:45:45,582
‐ Yes! This shit's gonna put you at ease.

1185
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,874
‐ Suck it down pipe.
‐ You keep saying that, Pompano Mike.

1186
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,082
I just don't know what it means.

1187
00:45:49,083 --> 00:45:50,374
‐ Okay, I'll spell it out for you.

1188
00:45:50,375 --> 00:45:52,707
Here are the ABCs
of suckin' it down pipe!

1189
00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:55,416
Okay. You puff it in
all the way down to your lungs.

1190
00:45:55,417 --> 00:45:57,707
Let it marinate there
and then you release it.

1191
00:45:57,708 --> 00:45:59,749
You know, like a fart
during a family movie night,

1192
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,667
I don't know, whatever you guys
wanted to watch!

1193
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:11,582
‐ Yeah!

1194
00:46:11,583 --> 00:46:13,582
‐ There you go.
‐ Oh, Griffin.

1195
00:46:13,583 --> 00:46:14,375
‐ Suck it down pipe.

1196
00:46:14,376 --> 00:46:15,957
‐ Oh, "Gristen," I like you.

1197
00:46:15,958 --> 00:46:17,083
You got kids, Gristen?

1198
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:19,207
‐ My name's not Gristen.

1199
00:46:19,208 --> 00:46:20,832
‐ No one's name is Gristen.

1200
00:46:20,833 --> 00:46:21,708
‐ Gristen.

1201
00:46:24,083 --> 00:46:26,083
Uh, Gristen, can't make kids!

1202
00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:27,750
What?

1203
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,874
‐ Took you long enough.

1204
00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,291
‐ Rumor has it that the girls are here?

1205
00:46:37,292 --> 00:46:38,083
‐ And waiting.

1206
00:46:38,084 --> 00:46:39,374
‐ Thank goodness.

1207
00:46:39,375 --> 00:46:42,249
Prepare to get
your brushes wet, ladies!

1208
00:46:46,083 --> 00:46:48,541
Keep going. Over here. Yes.

1209
00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:49,957
Right by those strawberries.

1210
00:46:49,958 --> 00:46:51,416
Have a seat.
‐ Okay.

1211
00:46:51,417 --> 00:46:55,042
‐ Whoa. I hope
the carpet matches the drapes.

1212
00:46:55,375 --> 00:46:58,250
‐ This, uh, is a little bit more
of an adult party than I‐‐

1213
00:46:58,833 --> 00:47:00,582
‐ Yeah and you're still wearing
your pants.

1214
00:47:02,167 --> 00:47:03,749
Actually, though, um,

1215
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:06,916
I'm, I'm here for my daughter,
Lena Carlsen.

1216
00:47:06,917 --> 00:47:07,792
Is she at the party?

1217
00:47:07,793 --> 00:47:09,374
‐ Oh, there's a party.

1218
00:47:09,375 --> 00:47:10,541
In my pants.

1219
00:47:10,542 --> 00:47:12,375
Oh.

1220
00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:15,499
Listen, ladies, I'm actually
Principal Carlsen.

1221
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,792
I'm from the high school.
‐ Good morning, Principal Carlsen.

1222
00:47:18,625 --> 00:47:20,707
‐ And, um, you know, I don't have
a problem with Binge‐ing,

1223
00:47:20,708 --> 00:47:21,916
obviously for you adults.

1224
00:47:21,917 --> 00:47:23,207
You ladies have‐‐ Lot of‐‐

1225
00:47:23,208 --> 00:47:26,291
Lot of you, uh, all girl group
have gotten together to Binge tonight,

1226
00:47:26,292 --> 00:47:28,041
which seems fine to me.

1227
00:47:28,042 --> 00:47:30,707
I do have a problem though,
uh, with my daughter,

1228
00:47:30,708 --> 00:47:33,125
and I think she might be
out here Binge‐ing.

1229
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,041
‐ Who hired this guy?

1230
00:47:35,042 --> 00:47:37,291
‐ Dina did.
‐ Just go with it.

1231
00:47:37,292 --> 00:47:41,332
Principal... can you give us detention?

1232
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:43,125
‐ Um, sure.

1233
00:47:43,542 --> 00:47:45,624
Uh, detentions, detentions,
detentions, detentions.

1234
00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:47,292
Whoo‐hoo!

1235
00:47:47,833 --> 00:47:49,000
‐ I'll see all of you after school.

1236
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:51,624
But I think on a serious note,

1237
00:47:51,625 --> 00:47:54,541
we all realize that
with the kids out there drinking

1238
00:47:54,542 --> 00:47:56,332
and doing the things
that they could be doing tonight,

1239
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:58,332
things could get far worse
than a detention, yeah?

1240
00:47:58,333 --> 00:48:00,457
‐ Yeah, I'm just not vibing
with a Principal.

1241
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:01,250
‐ But I'm the Principal.

1242
00:48:01,667 --> 00:48:03,082
I'm the Principal of the school.
I'm Principal Carlsen.

1243
00:48:03,083 --> 00:48:04,499
‐ Okay, I'm the volleyball player.

1244
00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:06,375
‐ No, I understand that.

1245
00:48:06,376 --> 00:48:08,749
No, guys, I'm, I'm the Principal.
I really am. I'm Principal Carlsen.

1246
00:48:08,750 --> 00:48:10,957
‐ I'm not feeling it. I don't‐‐ Is it me?

1247
00:48:10,958 --> 00:48:13,167
Ladies, you're
not gonna get me off the scent here.

1248
00:48:13,917 --> 00:48:14,917
I don't know where you're hiding the kids.

1249
00:48:14,918 --> 00:48:16,457
If they're upstairs?
If they're downstairs?

1250
00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:17,832
I'm gonna find them, okay.

1251
00:48:17,833 --> 00:48:19,249
So I'm asking you nicely.

1252
00:48:19,250 --> 00:48:20,416
‐ Oh.
‐ Right?

1253
00:48:20,417 --> 00:48:23,291
Stop playing around with me
and tell me where the kids are,

1254
00:48:23,292 --> 00:48:25,332
or I can make it pretty uncomfortable
here in town.

1255
00:48:25,333 --> 00:48:26,875
I'm also a city councilman.

1256
00:48:27,292 --> 00:48:30,582
I can find out if the property taxes
to this house is paid up or not.

1257
00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:32,332
I can have a detective follow you
and find out

1258
00:48:32,333 --> 00:48:34,666
who each and every one
of you girls is fucking,

1259
00:48:34,667 --> 00:48:36,375
and I'll turn some families upside down.

1260
00:48:36,667 --> 00:48:39,124
So, I'm gonna ask it one more time
before things start to turn

1261
00:48:39,125 --> 00:48:40,791
just a little bit uncomfortable.

1262
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:41,874
Ready?

1263
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:45,458
Where... is... my... daughter?

1264
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:50,041
‐ Yeah, see, now I love the passion
and you're really going for it,

1265
00:48:50,042 --> 00:48:51,332
but it's too dark now.

1266
00:48:51,333 --> 00:48:52,957
It's too dark. Bring it back.

1267
00:48:52,958 --> 00:48:54,167
Maybe back to Principal.

1268
00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:56,042
‐ What are you talking about?

1269
00:48:56,667 --> 00:48:58,666
‐ We really appreciate
your commitment to the part,

1270
00:48:58,667 --> 00:49:01,291
but we just wanna see a big swinging dick.

1271
00:49:01,292 --> 00:49:02,457
Just show us your dick.

1272
00:49:02,458 --> 00:49:06,207
Show your dick
and balls! Show your dick and balls!

1273
00:49:06,208 --> 00:49:08,082
Show your dick and balls!

1274
00:49:08,083 --> 00:49:10,791
Show your dick and balls!
‐ Oh, you guys are here to paint somebody.

1275
00:49:10,792 --> 00:49:11,832
I got it.
‐ Yes, yes.

1276
00:49:11,833 --> 00:49:13,249
‐ Look, maybe we can do a little painting,

1277
00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:14,874
and then maybe I can ask
you girls some questions.

1278
00:49:14,875 --> 00:49:16,541
Fair?

1279
00:49:16,542 --> 00:49:17,791
Give me a minute. Give me a robe

1280
00:49:17,792 --> 00:49:19,874
and we'll see if we can't, uh, create

1281
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:21,207
some magic alone tonight, okay.

1282
00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:22,042
‐ Ooh, I like that.

1283
00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:23,207
‐ I like all of you guys.
I'm proud of you.

1284
00:49:23,208 --> 00:49:25,207
Guess what? Guess what?
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?

1285
00:49:25,208 --> 00:49:26,499
‐ What?
‐ You're all under detention!

1286
00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:35,291
‐ Guys, I think I love weed.

1287
00:49:35,292 --> 00:49:36,874
‐ Griffin loves weed!

1288
00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:39,833
‐ The only thing is
it's not just weed. It's Zoom, so‐‐

1289
00:49:40,708 --> 00:49:42,291
‐ What?
‐ A little "Super Grass."

1290
00:49:42,292 --> 00:49:43,042
‐ Uh‐huh?

1291
00:49:43,043 --> 00:49:44,082
‐ "Baby's Breath."
‐ What?

1292
00:49:44,083 --> 00:49:46,166
"Fry," "Ozark," "Alabaster Arrow,"

1293
00:49:46,167 --> 00:49:48,582
"Dirty Rubix Cube," "Disco Dave," "Spork!"

1294
00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:51,291
‐ I have no clue
what you're talking about.

1295
00:49:51,292 --> 00:49:53,291
‐ It's just your plain Jane
"Rainy Day Woman"

1296
00:49:53,292 --> 00:49:54,917
mixed with a little chunk of PCP.

1297
00:49:55,958 --> 00:49:57,708
‐ PCP?
‐ Yeah, PCP.

1298
00:49:58,167 --> 00:50:00,291
"Dragon's Breath," "Cheese Tacos,"

1299
00:50:00,292 --> 00:50:02,207
"Chicken Tamales," "Hip Hip Hooray,"

1300
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,249
"Monkey Punch,"

1301
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,541
"Oral Fire Traffic,"
"Crunch Wrap Supreme,"

1302
00:50:05,542 --> 00:50:06,999
"Deuces Wild," "Pirate's Booty,"

1303
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,082
"Toledo," "Nuts‐A‐Bunch"
"Los Lonely Boy"

1304
00:50:09,083 --> 00:50:10,000
"Diagon Alley,"

1305
00:50:10,001 --> 00:50:12,082
"Road to Terabithia,"
"Nugget Rush."

1306
00:50:18,667 --> 00:50:19,542
Fucking shit!

1307
00:50:19,543 --> 00:50:20,750
Whoa!

1308
00:50:21,458 --> 00:50:23,624
Years from now,
when you talk about this,

1309
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:24,625
and you will,

1310
00:50:25,167 --> 00:50:25,792
be kind.

1311
00:50:25,793 --> 00:50:30,416
‐ Oh, and before you go, here's a
little gift from your favorite students.

1312
00:50:30,417 --> 00:50:31,292
Aww!

1313
00:50:31,293 --> 00:50:34,374
‐ You ladies are so sweet but, honestly,
my time with you was gift enough.

1314
00:50:34,375 --> 00:50:35,167
So thank you.

1315
00:50:35,168 --> 00:50:36,999
‐ Oh, trust me,
you're gonna want this one.

1316
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,041
It's drugs.

1317
00:50:38,042 --> 00:50:40,624
‐ Okay. Well, thank you so much.
Appreciate you guys.

1318
00:50:40,625 --> 00:50:41,666
Okay.

1319
00:50:41,667 --> 00:50:42,417
Oh!

1320
00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:44,333
‐ Great night.

1321
00:50:44,334 --> 00:50:45,541
‐ Okay, take care.

1322
00:50:47,875 --> 00:50:49,500
This was so fun!

1323
00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,542
‐ Come back here, we're bored.

1324
00:51:19,875 --> 00:51:21,707
‐ What?
‐ Not you. Pompano.

1325
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:24,082
We need
some caveman nuts back here.

1326
00:51:24,083 --> 00:51:25,291
‐ One of the downfalls of the job.

1327
00:51:25,292 --> 00:51:26,499
Take the wheel, Jesus.

1328
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:29,082
No, wait. Sure you don't want
two people?

1329
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:33,333
Ah, fuck!

1330
00:51:33,750 --> 00:51:35,707
Goddamn.

1331
00:51:35,708 --> 00:51:37,958
- Hi, handsome.
- Hey, ladies, what's up?

1332
00:51:39,250 --> 00:51:40,917
You're so fucking silly.

1333
00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:42,874
This is bad, man.

1334
00:51:42,875 --> 00:51:44,499
She's not trying to figure out
a witty response.

1335
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,666
She's trying to figure out how to tell me
never to talk to her again.

1336
00:51:46,667 --> 00:51:48,332
‐ All right, man, wait.
Take it easy, okay.

1337
00:51:48,333 --> 00:51:50,249
That's‐‐ that's‐‐
that's the paranoia kicking in.

1338
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,832
Send her a text message
with a heart emoji and you're in.

1339
00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:54,374
‐ I can't text a promposal,

1340
00:51:54,375 --> 00:51:56,332
especially after the whole
auto‐correct debacle.

1341
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:58,832
‐ If you don't wanna text her, then just
pick up the phone and call.

1342
00:51:58,833 --> 00:52:00,291
‐ That's what I'm gonna do. That's what I gotta
do. ‐ Man, pick up the phone and call her.

1343
00:52:01,043 --> 00:52:03,249
‐ Okay, here we go, here we go.
It's ringing, it's ringing.

1344
00:52:03,250 --> 00:52:05,082
<i>‐ Griff, something you wanna say?</i>

1345
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,041
‐ Yeah, that's actually why I was calling.

1346
00:52:07,042 --> 00:52:08,874
<i>‐ You think you can just say
whatever you want over text</i>

1347
00:52:08,875 --> 00:52:10,124
<i>because we're not face to face?</i>

1348
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:12,582
‐ It was just an auto‐correct.
I would never‐‐ I would never have ty‐‐

1349
00:52:12,583 --> 00:52:13,833
I would never get you pregnant.

1350
00:52:14,458 --> 00:52:16,666
<i>‐ I know. I'm just kidding with you.</i>

1351
00:52:16,667 --> 00:52:19,292
<i>I thought it'd be funny to not respond,
you know, make you wonder.</i>

1352
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,791
‐ Okay. That's funny.

1353
00:52:21,792 --> 00:52:23,207
You've‐‐ That's very funny.

1354
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:24,666
<i>Yeah, I bet
I made you nervous there, huh?</i>

1355
00:52:24,667 --> 00:52:27,249
‐ No, I don't, I don't get
too nervous in general so‐‐

1356
00:52:27,250 --> 00:52:29,292
‐ Man, get to the point.
Just ask the question.

1357
00:52:29,875 --> 00:52:32,624
‐ Hey, so it's been
a pretty wild night so far.

1358
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:34,541
This isn't how
I was planning on doing it but I,

1359
00:52:34,542 --> 00:52:35,957
I didn't get a chance to earlier

1360
00:52:35,958 --> 00:52:37,582
because of the confetti at the lockers,

1361
00:52:37,583 --> 00:52:39,624
but I was just wondering
if no one else has asked‐‐

1362
00:52:39,625 --> 00:52:40,916
You bitch!

1363
00:52:40,917 --> 00:52:41,750
<i>‐ What?</i>

1364
00:52:41,751 --> 00:52:44,166
Oh, what the fuck?

1365
00:52:44,167 --> 00:52:44,792
Is he dead?

1366
00:52:44,793 --> 00:52:46,041
‐ Andrew!

1367
00:52:46,042 --> 00:52:47,749
Watch the fucking road!

1368
00:52:47,750 --> 00:52:49,082
Holy shit!

1369
00:52:53,208 --> 00:52:54,541
‐ Put his foot on the brake!

1370
00:52:56,583 --> 00:52:58,124
‐ <i>Pulp Fiction</i> him, Griffin!
‐ We're gonna <i>Pulp Fiction</i> him!

1371
00:52:58,125 --> 00:52:59,207
That's what we're gonna do.

1372
00:53:01,625 --> 00:53:03,624
‐ We're gonna die!
‐ We're gonna <i>Pulp Fiction</i> him.

1373
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:15,457
‐ Oh, you're okay.

1374
00:53:21,083 --> 00:53:23,957
Goddammit!

1375
00:53:25,417 --> 00:53:27,957
- What was that?
- Oh my god.

1376
00:53:27,958 --> 00:53:28,833
You okay?

1377
00:53:28,834 --> 00:53:30,291
- Open this door?
- Griff, you all right?

1378
00:53:33,917 --> 00:53:35,542
Come on! Get out, guys!

1379
00:53:36,583 --> 00:53:37,167
‐ Ow!

1380
00:53:41,250 --> 00:53:42,083
All right.

1381
00:53:46,583 --> 00:53:47,957
‐ Oh no.

1382
00:53:47,958 --> 00:53:49,541
Oh no, no, no, no, no.

1383
00:53:49,542 --> 00:53:51,249
What‐‐ What have we‐‐
What have we done?

1384
00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:52,083
Did we just kill an innocent cow?

1385
00:53:52,084 --> 00:53:54,416
‐ We are not bad people, Lord,
we just made a mistake.

1386
00:53:54,417 --> 00:53:56,374
‐ Hags, what the hell?

1387
00:53:56,375 --> 00:53:58,166
‐ The driver drugged Andrew.
‐ No, I didn't!

1388
00:53:58,167 --> 00:53:59,249
I didn't do anything.

1389
00:53:59,250 --> 00:54:01,041
‐ Did you guys kill a cow?

1390
00:54:01,042 --> 00:54:02,749
Fix that cow.

1391
00:54:02,750 --> 00:54:03,957
Wait, what about the drugs?

1392
00:54:03,958 --> 00:54:06,832
‐ No! No more drugs for us tonight!

1393
00:54:06,833 --> 00:54:09,250
‐ I'm... I'm with Griffin
on this one, Hags.

1394
00:54:09,958 --> 00:54:10,958
Not for us.

1395
00:54:12,417 --> 00:54:13,957
‐ What?
‐ What?

1396
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:15,124
‐ Come on, Bessie.

1397
00:54:15,125 --> 00:54:17,874
‐ You guys are fucking idiots.

1398
00:54:17,875 --> 00:54:18,833
‐ We know!

1399
00:54:18,834 --> 00:54:19,874
‐ We're trying!

1400
00:54:19,875 --> 00:54:22,207
I'm gonna put some cocaine in his eye.
‐ Fix the cow!

1401
00:54:22,208 --> 00:54:24,999
‐ Everybody, please stop yelling.

1402
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,916
Okay, that worked. Give me something else.

1403
00:54:26,917 --> 00:54:28,166
‐ Wake that cow up! Fix it!

1404
00:54:28,167 --> 00:54:28,792
Come on, Bessie.

1405
00:54:28,793 --> 00:54:30,249
‐ I'm pretty sure Lena thinks
I called her a bitch.

1406
00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:31,083
‐ Live, cow!

1407
00:54:31,084 --> 00:54:32,541
‐ Why won't he live?

1408
00:54:32,542 --> 00:54:34,666
We gotta give her more drugs.

1409
00:54:34,667 --> 00:54:35,874
‐ Come on, guys! Don't let her die.

1410
00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:38,457
‐ You shut the fuck up, Pompano! We know!

1411
00:54:38,458 --> 00:54:39,667
‐ I'm gonna <i>Pulp Fiction</i> the cow.

1412
00:54:45,208 --> 00:54:46,375
Ew!

1413
00:54:47,583 --> 00:54:48,667
Ow!

1414
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:51,291
‐ You okay?
‐ It's alive!

1415
00:54:51,292 --> 00:54:52,750
Oh my god, it's alive!

1416
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,042
‐ It's alive!

1417
00:54:56,042 --> 00:54:57,000
Oh my god!

1418
00:54:58,042 --> 00:54:59,374
- Hey, cow!
- Yes!

1419
00:54:59,375 --> 00:55:01,249
Come on, girl.

1420
00:55:02,458 --> 00:55:03,542
‐ It's a miracle.

1421
00:55:04,375 --> 00:55:06,375
‐ She's even better
than she was before!

1422
00:55:10,959 --> 00:55:13,083
‐ Oh! Oh god!

1423
00:55:13,375 --> 00:55:14,292
I'm gonna throw up.

1424
00:55:14,293 --> 00:55:16,500
‐ You guys are poison.
‐ Fuck you, cow killers.

1425
00:55:19,792 --> 00:55:21,332
You ruined our perfect night.

1426
00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:23,416
This is why nobody fucks with you.

1427
00:55:23,417 --> 00:55:25,542
You're always gonna be virgins!

1428
00:55:27,583 --> 00:55:29,458
‐ Oh no!

1429
00:55:34,333 --> 00:55:35,708
I can get some more‐‐

1430
00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:38,166
Holy shit!

1431
00:55:38,167 --> 00:55:40,000
Is that Principal Carlsen?

1432
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
‐ Hey, guys.

1433
00:55:44,167 --> 00:55:45,625
- Hey, Tyler. How are you fellas?
- Hi.

1434
00:55:46,417 --> 00:55:49,874
‐ Just curious, do you guys know any of
the, uh, parties that are happening tonight?

1435
00:55:49,875 --> 00:55:51,874
‐ Tonight? I haven't heard anything.

1436
00:55:51,875 --> 00:55:53,292
‐ No? No idea.
‐ No.

1437
00:55:54,292 --> 00:55:55,167
Oh!

1438
00:55:56,583 --> 00:55:59,249
‐ Do you think because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays

1439
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:00,791
I can't get a little crazy, huh?

1440
00:56:00,792 --> 00:56:03,999
Just because I participate
in Wacky Wednesdays

1441
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,582
doesn't mean I can't change
the course of your life!

1442
00:56:06,583 --> 00:56:08,416
Does that make sense, you stupid ass?

1443
00:56:08,417 --> 00:56:11,042
‐ Look, most people are going
to Carnegie Library.

1444
00:56:11,333 --> 00:56:11,917
All right?

1445
00:56:12,708 --> 00:56:14,000
‐ Smart.

1446
00:56:14,458 --> 00:56:15,625
Hiding in plain sight.

1447
00:56:16,292 --> 00:56:18,500
Come on, big guy. That wasn't so bad.

1448
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,500
Proud of the way you've conducted yourself
on and off the field.

1449
00:56:22,208 --> 00:56:23,458
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

1450
00:56:24,167 --> 00:56:27,167
What's this? You guys gettin'
into some slamballs?

1451
00:56:27,625 --> 00:56:29,542
Run your pockets.
‐ What's a slamball?

1452
00:56:30,375 --> 00:56:31,625
‐ This is how it starts.

1453
00:56:32,083 --> 00:56:33,125
Little sip of wine,

1454
00:56:33,417 --> 00:56:34,500
some slamballs,

1455
00:56:34,958 --> 00:56:36,208
and then you leave your family

1456
00:56:36,667 --> 00:56:38,750
for an ATV instructor named Gabriel.

1457
00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:40,875
And then you stop being a mom

1458
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,000
and participating in the family

1459
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:46,624
because you're so ashamed
from a life of porn,

1460
00:56:46,625 --> 00:56:48,457
you can't look your daughter
in the eye anymore.

1461
00:56:48,458 --> 00:56:50,457
And guess who gets stuck holding the bag?

1462
00:56:50,458 --> 00:56:51,375
Dear old dad.

1463
00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:53,500
Is that gonna be you?

1464
00:56:54,417 --> 00:56:55,708
Are you gonna be a mom

1465
00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,083
that leaves her family?

1466
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:06,000
Let me ask you a question, big boy.

1467
00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:07,542
Look at me.

1468
00:57:08,208 --> 00:57:09,791
Are you a mom that could walk out
on her family?

1469
00:57:09,792 --> 00:57:10,958
‐ No. No, sir.

1470
00:57:12,333 --> 00:57:15,416
‐ Are you a mom that could walk out
on his family?

1471
00:57:15,417 --> 00:57:16,624
‐ I would never leave you.

1472
00:57:16,625 --> 00:57:18,666
‐ The fuck makes you think
I'm talking about me?

1473
00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:20,167
‐ I thought we were just role‐playing.

1474
00:57:20,750 --> 00:57:21,708
I know it wasn't you.

1475
00:57:21,709 --> 00:57:24,332
If I was a mother,
I would never leave my family.

1476
00:57:24,333 --> 00:57:27,791
That's all I know. Here,
these are, these are all my drugs.

1477
00:57:27,792 --> 00:57:30,000
I'm sorry I lied to you,
Principal Carlsen.

1478
00:57:31,750 --> 00:57:33,416
‐ Why didn't we just start here

1479
00:57:33,417 --> 00:57:36,125
and skip all the hitting in the
throat stuff, huh?

1480
00:57:36,875 --> 00:57:38,750
You guys have a great night, okay.

1481
00:57:39,667 --> 00:57:41,083
You know what, we'll do better next time.

1482
00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:44,000
Oh.

1483
00:57:44,625 --> 00:57:46,458
And if anybody asks you guys,

1484
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,000
just let 'em know
that the Panther sent you.

1485
00:57:49,667 --> 00:57:52,083
Oh!

1486
00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:55,999
Who's the panther?
Where's he supposed to send us?

1487
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,000
- Oh shit!
- Did you see that?

1488
00:58:03,583 --> 00:58:07,000
‐ We have just experienced
a serious trauma, people.

1489
00:58:07,625 --> 00:58:10,249
- Hey, why won't anybody pick us up?
- Dickless!

1490
00:58:10,250 --> 00:58:13,999
‐ Uber says it's gonna take two hours
and it's surging 350.

1491
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,291
<i>This night slaps.</i>

1492
00:58:15,292 --> 00:58:16,874
<i>Best night ever.</i>

1493
00:58:16,875 --> 00:58:18,833
Griff, you good?

1494
00:58:19,542 --> 00:58:20,500
‐ Mark fucking Maynard.

1495
00:58:20,501 --> 00:58:21,832
<i>‐ This night slaps!</i>

1496
00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:24,124
<i>‐ Night of our lives!
‐ Whoo!</i>

1497
00:58:24,125 --> 00:58:25,166
Who else could it be?

1498
00:58:25,167 --> 00:58:27,916
Listen, man,
Mark did not ask her to prom,

1499
00:58:27,917 --> 00:58:29,042
I know that for a fact.

1500
00:58:29,917 --> 00:58:34,542
Look, we cannot give up now.
We are 6.8 miles away from that party.

1501
00:58:35,292 --> 00:58:37,457
And then when Lena sees you,
there's no way she can say no to you.

1502
00:58:37,458 --> 00:58:39,082
‐ Well, what would that
even look like, man?

1503
00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:40,416
"Hey, Lena, it's me.

1504
00:58:40,417 --> 00:58:42,207
"I'm really sorry for calling you
a bitch earlier.

1505
00:58:42,208 --> 00:58:44,791
"It's probably because I was high
off my ass on PCP.

1506
00:58:44,792 --> 00:58:46,749
"I almost just died
after crashing into a cow

1507
00:58:46,750 --> 00:58:49,207
"and they got absolutely fucking
demolished by an 18 wheeler

1508
00:58:49,208 --> 00:58:51,999
"and as I'm sure you've noticed by now,
I'm missing an entire fucking eyebrow.

1509
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:52,958
"But hey, don't worry about it.

1510
00:58:52,959 --> 00:58:54,707
"It'll probably grow back
in six to twelve months.

1511
00:58:54,708 --> 00:58:55,792
You wanna go to prom?"

1512
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,624
‐ Hey, you sold me.
‐ I'd say yes.

1513
00:58:58,625 --> 00:58:59,458
‐ Mm‐hmm.

1514
00:59:02,251 --> 00:59:03,833
‐ Ow! What the shit?
‐ Griffin.

1515
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:05,541
‐ Oh, something's in my ass.
‐ What?

1516
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:06,916
‐ My entire ass is on fire!

1517
00:59:06,917 --> 00:59:08,292
‐ Oh, that hurts‐‐
‐ Hey!

1518
00:59:08,792 --> 00:59:12,082
Hey, lookie‐lookie.

1519
00:59:12,083 --> 00:59:12,542
‐ Big bro.

1520
00:59:13,167 --> 00:59:15,332
My good friend here,
he wanted to ask his girlfriend to‐‐

1521
00:59:17,042 --> 00:59:18,958
Andrew? Andrew!

1522
00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:22,583
Oh no!

1523
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,291
Get 'em in the truck.

1524
00:59:33,333 --> 00:59:35,874
Will I be able to drive
if I eat two Binge‐A‐Ritos?

1525
00:59:35,875 --> 00:59:37,167
I would not recommend it.

1526
00:59:42,417 --> 00:59:43,958
You're so stupid.

1527
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:45,250
Binge‐A‐Ritos.

1528
00:59:45,251 --> 00:59:46,667
Six for 12 bucks.

1529
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:50,333
Meat, cheese, romaine lettuce,
and magic mushrooms.

1530
00:59:52,417 --> 00:59:53,499
‐ Magic mushrooms?

1531
00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:55,082
<i>‐ Bon appetit!</i>

1532
00:59:55,083 --> 00:59:56,541
‐ Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

1533
00:59:56,542 --> 00:59:58,125
‐ You're going on a little trip.

1534
00:59:58,625 --> 01:00:00,999
‐ They're probably only dusted
with magic mushrooms.

1535
01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,707
I doubt that the Wall of Tacos
would risk their impeccable reputation

1536
01:00:03,708 --> 01:00:04,791
by poisoning people.

1537
01:00:28,417 --> 01:00:29,666
Whoo!

1538
01:00:29,667 --> 01:00:33,416
Twenty‐nine Binge‐A‐Ritos!
They broke the fucking record!

1539
01:00:33,417 --> 01:00:34,499
Oh shit.

1540
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:35,582
Yeah!

1541
01:00:35,583 --> 01:00:38,291
‐ I really don't think we should be doing
this many drugs.

1542
01:00:38,292 --> 01:00:40,417
<i>"I don't think</i>
<i>we should be doing anymore drugs."</i>

1543
01:00:40,833 --> 01:00:41,625
That's you!

1544
01:00:41,626 --> 01:00:45,417
Seb, please, just let us go. ‐
<i>"Seb, please, just let us go."</i>

1545
01:00:46,292 --> 01:00:49,208
That's also you,
you fucking piece of shit.

1546
01:00:49,542 --> 01:00:52,041
‐ Do you have any idea how long
we've been training for this Gauntlet?

1547
01:00:52,042 --> 01:00:55,458
‐ Okay. No, that's it. I'm done.
I gotta go to the bathroom.

1548
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:57,083
Oh!

1549
01:00:57,084 --> 01:00:58,874
Hey, he's still back there.

1550
01:00:58,875 --> 01:01:01,457
‐ Now it's payback time.
‐ Now it's payback time?

1551
01:01:01,458 --> 01:01:03,166
What have we been doing here
the whole fucking time?

1552
01:01:03,167 --> 01:01:03,958
‐ Preparing.

1553
01:01:03,959 --> 01:01:05,207
‐ Preparing for what?

1554
01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:07,041
‐ The Siamese Tootsie Roll.

1555
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,625
‐ Is that a dessert here?

1556
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:20,458
‐ Hey, Becky. Becky?

1557
01:01:20,875 --> 01:01:23,207
‐ What?
‐ I'm just gonna go home.

1558
01:01:23,208 --> 01:01:24,541
‐ No, no, no! You can't leave now.

1559
01:01:24,542 --> 01:01:26,624
‐ Yeah, I just need this
to charge a little more,

1560
01:01:26,625 --> 01:01:27,791
and then I'm gonna call an Uber.
‐ No, you can't‐‐

1561
01:01:27,792 --> 01:01:28,957
No, you can't leave now. No.

1562
01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:30,957
He wouldn't have asked you to come
if he wasn't gonna be here.

1563
01:01:30,958 --> 01:01:33,666
‐ Okay. Well, maybe Mr. Promposal
just got drunk or something.

1564
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:35,666
‐ No, stay. Just stay a little longer!

1565
01:01:35,667 --> 01:01:37,125
I'll be right with you in a second.

1566
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:41,208
<i>Where did they get
all this tape from?</i>

1567
01:01:41,209 --> 01:01:43,042
<i>I gotta go to the bathroom now.</i>

1568
01:01:43,625 --> 01:01:44,208
Griffin?

1569
01:01:44,209 --> 01:01:45,791
<i>‐ Hags, you need to be
an adult about this.</i>

1570
01:01:45,792 --> 01:01:46,708
<i>Do not shit‐‐</i>

1571
01:01:46,709 --> 01:01:48,082
<i>I need to go to the bathroom too.</i>

1572
01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:49,666
<i>No. Andrew, no. Andrew.</i>

1573
01:01:49,667 --> 01:01:51,583
<i>Do not. Stay strong, Andrew.</i>

1574
01:02:05,667 --> 01:02:06,999
You fucking heathens.

1575
01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:11,250
You're all heathens.

1576
01:02:14,583 --> 01:02:15,916
All right, all right.

1577
01:02:15,917 --> 01:02:16,625
Thank you, man.

1578
01:02:16,626 --> 01:02:17,958
Yeah, it's no problem.

1579
01:02:21,583 --> 01:02:22,417
Come this way.

1580
01:02:22,418 --> 01:02:24,957
Hey,
it's the Siamese Tootsie Roll guys.

1581
01:02:24,958 --> 01:02:25,583
All right.

1582
01:02:25,584 --> 01:02:27,917
‐ "Siamese Tootsie Roll guys?"

1583
01:02:28,458 --> 01:02:29,417
We have a name.

1584
01:02:29,833 --> 01:02:32,332
‐ Oh yeah! You're going viral.
‐ You happy, Hags?

1585
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:35,332
‐ Hey, look, at least we'll be recognized
tonight at the Library Party.

1586
01:02:35,333 --> 01:02:36,791
‐ I don't care about recognition, man.

1587
01:02:36,792 --> 01:02:39,249
I just want to get to this stupid party
and ask Lena to prom!

1588
01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:41,791
‐ You've been saying that every day
for the past five months.

1589
01:02:41,792 --> 01:02:43,332
‐ You know, you're kind of
an asshole, man.

1590
01:02:43,333 --> 01:02:45,417
‐ Well, if it wasn't for this asshole,

1591
01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:48,916
you'd still be at home tonight
doing the Root Beer Goat.

1592
01:02:48,917 --> 01:02:51,207
‐ Because of you, the dean of Brown
is gonna look up my name

1593
01:02:51,208 --> 01:02:53,082
and see me, you, and Andrew
taped ass to ass,

1594
01:02:53,083 --> 01:02:55,374
rolling down the street blindfolded
on Binge Night.

1595
01:02:55,375 --> 01:02:57,249
Principal Carlsen's gonna see that.
Everyone will.

1596
01:02:57,250 --> 01:02:58,582
That could ruin my fucking life.

1597
01:02:58,583 --> 01:03:01,666
If I'm even alive after the 30
mushroom‐filled burritos we just ate.

1598
01:03:01,667 --> 01:03:03,374
‐ Oh, I'm sorry

1599
01:03:03,375 --> 01:03:04,957
for trying to add some fun

1600
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:06,957
to your miserable existence, Griffin.
‐ What?

1601
01:03:06,958 --> 01:03:08,874
What part of anything
about tonight was fun?

1602
01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:10,124
Andrew, are you having fun?

1603
01:03:10,125 --> 01:03:12,457
‐ Ah, fucking Binge, man.

1604
01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:13,167
‐ You see?

1605
01:03:13,458 --> 01:03:14,874
You see?
‐ You didn't even want him to come.

1606
01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:17,749
‐ Of course I wanted him to come.
‐ You said he was hurting our cool factor.

1607
01:03:17,750 --> 01:03:20,292
‐ And you only wanted him
for the wristbands!

1608
01:03:22,750 --> 01:03:25,874
‐ If you guys didn't want me to come,
you could have just said that.

1609
01:03:25,875 --> 01:03:27,416
‐ That's not true.
‐ That's not it, Andrew.

1610
01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:29,749
‐ No, I got along fine just by myself.

1611
01:03:29,750 --> 01:03:32,583
I don't like being somewhere
I'm not appreciated.

1612
01:03:33,583 --> 01:03:35,083
Andrew, that's not what we meant.

1613
01:03:36,875 --> 01:03:38,042
Andrew!

1614
01:03:38,625 --> 01:03:41,917
Goddammit, Griffin. This is the bullshit
I'm talking about.

1615
01:03:45,208 --> 01:03:46,167
You know what?

1616
01:03:47,042 --> 01:03:48,750
I'm going to that party tonight.

1617
01:03:49,333 --> 01:03:50,417
Without you.

1618
01:03:53,667 --> 01:03:55,500
We could've been legends tonight, man.

1619
01:03:57,458 --> 01:03:59,375
We could have crushed that Gauntlet.

1620
01:04:03,542 --> 01:04:05,792
Griffin, this is the bullshit
I'm talking about!

1621
01:04:06,667 --> 01:04:07,625
You know what?

1622
01:04:08,417 --> 01:04:10,458
I'm going to that party tonight.

1623
01:04:15,625 --> 01:04:19,042
‐ If you guys didn't want me to come,
why didn't you just say that?

1624
01:04:20,750 --> 01:04:22,332
‐ Root Beer Goat.

1625
01:04:22,333 --> 01:04:23,791
<i>You're going on a little trip.</i>

1626
01:04:23,792 --> 01:04:25,292
‐ It's okay. You're just dying.

1627
01:04:26,292 --> 01:04:27,417
‐ I don't wanna be a little girl.

1628
01:04:29,792 --> 01:04:31,374
<i>- You're going on a little trip!</i>
<i>- Root Beer Goat.</i>

1629
01:04:35,042 --> 01:04:37,875
Dammit, Griffin, this is
the bullshit I'm talking about.

1630
01:04:44,958 --> 01:04:47,292
<i>Your entire world turns
into a musical.</i>

1631
01:07:21,042 --> 01:07:23,999
‐ Nooo!

1632
01:08:51,375 --> 01:08:52,999
Whoo!

1633
01:09:18,042 --> 01:09:19,000
‐ Lena!

1634
01:09:19,001 --> 01:09:21,458
Lena!

1635
01:09:22,333 --> 01:09:23,042
Lena!

1636
01:09:23,043 --> 01:09:25,583
Lena!

1637
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:52,749
<i>Do drugs, motherfuckers!</i>

1638
01:09:59,418 --> 01:10:00,874
‐ Whoo!

1639
01:10:43,792 --> 01:10:44,583
‐ Lena!

1640
01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:46,000
‐ Griffin!

1641
01:10:48,667 --> 01:10:49,625
‐ Hags?

1642
01:10:50,542 --> 01:10:53,124
‐ Sarah?
‐ I can't believe you made it.

1643
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:53,958
‐ Excuse me.

1644
01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:57,041
Um, have you seen Griffin?

1645
01:10:57,042 --> 01:10:59,666
‐ Yeah, he's, like, over there
just jazzing with a bunch

1646
01:10:59,667 --> 01:11:01,207
of way cooler guys.

1647
01:11:01,208 --> 01:11:02,457
‐ Wait. What seriously?

1648
01:11:02,458 --> 01:11:03,916
‐ No, I'm fucking with you.

1649
01:11:03,917 --> 01:11:04,917
‐ Oh. Ha ha ha.

1650
01:11:04,918 --> 01:11:06,707
Suck it down pipe. Be a man.

1651
01:11:06,708 --> 01:11:08,707
Look at him, he's having
a blast, everybody.

1652
01:11:08,708 --> 01:11:10,916
They call it Bong Long Island Expressway.

1653
01:11:10,917 --> 01:11:13,041
Come on!
‐ Oh man, yeah, that's good.

1654
01:11:13,042 --> 01:11:14,791
‐ Mark Maynard?
‐ Hey, Griffin.

1655
01:11:14,792 --> 01:11:15,999
Loving that eyebrow.

1656
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,374
‐ I, I saw the video, so‐‐

1657
01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:19,082
‐ What video?
‐ Of you and Lena.

1658
01:11:19,083 --> 01:11:20,792
Of you two together dancing.

1659
01:11:21,417 --> 01:11:22,999
You're the promposal guy, right?

1660
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,916
‐ No. I'm going to prom with Nick.
Guy's got an iron grip.

1661
01:11:25,917 --> 01:11:26,625
‐ Hell yeah.

1662
01:11:28,208 --> 01:11:30,041
‐ Wait, do you know
who did ask Lena, then?

1663
01:11:30,042 --> 01:11:32,082
‐ No. I got no idea. It could be anyone.

1664
01:11:32,083 --> 01:11:33,124
She's a real catch.

1665
01:11:33,125 --> 01:11:35,624
Could be Max Keiser, Jack Fortin.
‐ Right.

1666
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:38,666
‐ Could have been Tom Fank,
Matt Menina, Cameron Dzur!

1667
01:11:38,667 --> 01:11:39,707
‐ Lot of different people.

1668
01:11:39,708 --> 01:11:41,749
‐ Don't take it personally.

1669
01:11:41,750 --> 01:11:43,792
I love messing with you.

1670
01:11:44,292 --> 01:11:48,958
And tonight, I want to take
our relationship to the next level.

1671
01:11:49,625 --> 01:11:50,375
‐ Wait, for real?

1672
01:11:50,376 --> 01:11:52,999
‐ No, Hags, what the fuck
is wrong with you?

1673
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,499
‐ I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't know.

1674
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:56,874
‐ Jerry Robinson‐‐
‐ Jerry Robinson.

1675
01:11:56,875 --> 01:11:58,624
‐ Could be Tom Michelito.
‐ So many options.

1676
01:11:58,625 --> 01:12:00,582
‐ It could have been Kevin Weiss.
‐ Jacob Rosen.

1677
01:12:00,583 --> 01:12:01,791
‐ Eric Ulrich.

1678
01:12:01,792 --> 01:12:03,541
‐ Lot of people interested in her.
‐ Hey, hey, hey,

1679
01:12:03,542 --> 01:12:05,542
nice overalls though, dude, I love 'em.

1680
01:12:06,667 --> 01:12:08,542
‐ Have a good night.
‐ Hey, good luck.

1681
01:12:10,208 --> 01:12:11,499
Mark Maynard, what the fuck?

1682
01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:13,666
What? Don't pigeon hole me.
It's the Binge.

1683
01:12:13,667 --> 01:12:14,875
She's got an iron grip!

1684
01:12:21,833 --> 01:12:24,457
‐ "This is the last clue. Don't U C.

1685
01:12:24,458 --> 01:12:25,916
Lena, go to prom with me."

1686
01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:43,374
Oh my god!

1687
01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:44,957
‐ You look Lena in the eyes and tell her

1688
01:12:44,958 --> 01:12:47,291
exactly what you wanted to tell her
your entire life.

1689
01:12:47,292 --> 01:12:49,958
Mark did not ask her to prom,
I know that for a fact.

1690
01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:52,457
We could have been legends tonight, bro.

1691
01:12:58,417 --> 01:13:00,125
‐ Hags, you son of a bitch.

1692
01:13:03,708 --> 01:13:06,332
‐ Becky, I got a text.
Becky, I got a clue. ‐ What?

1693
01:13:06,333 --> 01:13:07,374
‐ Look.

1694
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:09,124
"The time has come to make the call,

1695
01:13:09,125 --> 01:13:11,541
dig deep in your heart
and deep in the overalls."

1696
01:13:11,542 --> 01:13:13,166
What fucking overalls?

1697
01:13:16,833 --> 01:13:18,666
Oh god. No.

1698
01:13:18,667 --> 01:13:22,582
<i>‐ Gauntlet competitor!
Please make your way to the stage.</i>

1699
01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:26,457
<i>If you haven't signed up,
now is your last chance</i>

1700
01:13:26,458 --> 01:13:29,541
<i>to be... legendary!</i>

1701
01:13:38,750 --> 01:13:41,833
‐ What about that preview that you were
gonna give me in band practice?

1702
01:13:42,792 --> 01:13:45,082
I'm gonna be a member
of the big dick club.

1703
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:46,291
‐ Whoa! Oh!

1704
01:13:48,333 --> 01:13:49,250
I mean, really?

1705
01:13:49,708 --> 01:13:52,124
I like that‐‐ Oh! Hey!

1706
01:13:52,125 --> 01:13:53,083
<i>Hags!</i>

1707
01:13:53,084 --> 01:13:54,374
<i>Excuse me!</i>
‐ Griffin?

1708
01:13:54,375 --> 01:13:55,542
<i>‐ Excuse me.</i>

1709
01:13:56,417 --> 01:13:58,292
‐ Focus up, Hags.
<i>‐ I'm so sorry.</i>

1710
01:13:58,750 --> 01:14:00,332
<i>This is my first Binge,</i>

1711
01:14:00,333 --> 01:14:01,458
<i>and, uh,</i>

1712
01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:05,541
<i>I said some really shitty things
to some people I care a whole lot about.</i>

1713
01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,292
‐ Who's that asshole?

1714
01:14:08,458 --> 01:14:10,082
‐ That asshole's my best friend.

1715
01:14:10,083 --> 01:14:11,417
‐ Is that Griffin?

1716
01:14:11,833 --> 01:14:13,291
<i>‐ Hags, I don't know
if you can hear me or‐‐</i>

1717
01:14:13,292 --> 01:14:16,124
‐ All right, listen, I gotta go
get my best friend.

1718
01:14:16,125 --> 01:14:17,749
You stay right here.
‐ What the fuck is he talking‐‐

1719
01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:19,832
I love you. Yeah, I'll be back.

1720
01:14:19,833 --> 01:14:21,707
Sorry. My best friend.
‐ Hags!

1721
01:14:21,708 --> 01:14:23,207
Get the fucker off the stage.

1722
01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:25,249
- Super lame!
- Get off the stage!

1723
01:14:25,250 --> 01:14:26,417
What the fuck, man?

1724
01:14:27,250 --> 01:14:27,958
‐ Griffin!

1725
01:14:28,250 --> 01:14:29,582
<i>‐ Hags?</i>
‐ Hey, Griffin!

1726
01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:30,417
<i>‐ Hags!</i>

1727
01:14:30,418 --> 01:14:31,499
<i>‐ Sorry for the‐‐</i>
‐ Hey!

1728
01:14:31,500 --> 01:14:32,832
‐ I'm coming, Hags.

1729
01:14:32,833 --> 01:14:33,957
‐ Hey, hey, Griffin!

1730
01:14:33,958 --> 01:14:35,999
<i>‐ Now let's get to the Gauntlet, shall we?</i>

1731
01:14:39,833 --> 01:14:41,791
I'm coming. I'm coming, Hags.

1732
01:14:41,792 --> 01:14:43,332
‐ Hey, that's my best friend.

1733
01:14:43,333 --> 01:14:45,332
‐ Oh god, just stop drinking‐‐

1734
01:14:45,333 --> 01:14:47,082
Whoa! Lena! Lena, look.

1735
01:14:47,083 --> 01:14:50,249
Look. Lena. Lena, Lena, look.
Overalls. Overalls.

1736
01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:51,707
Holy shit! It's Griffin!

1737
01:14:51,708 --> 01:14:52,500
Yeah!

1738
01:14:52,500 --> 01:14:53,333
‐ Oh my god, I‐‐

1739
01:14:53,334 --> 01:14:55,874
‐ Dude, dude, dude, you should,
you should get him!

1740
01:14:56,793 --> 01:14:59,082
‐ Griffin! Griffin!

1741
01:14:59,083 --> 01:15:00,666
- Hey! Hey!
- Hags!

1742
01:15:00,667 --> 01:15:01,500
‐ Griffin!
‐ Hags!

1743
01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:02,375
‐ Hey!

1744
01:15:03,792 --> 01:15:04,957
Did you ask Lena to prom?

1745
01:15:04,958 --> 01:15:06,624
‐ No, I couldn't find her.

1746
01:15:06,625 --> 01:15:09,291
Why did you keep saying I had to beat
the other guy to the promposal?

1747
01:15:09,292 --> 01:15:11,207
‐ You just needed a little push, man.

1748
01:15:11,208 --> 01:15:13,541
Look, I always knew you would ask her.
And I knew you could do it.

1749
01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:14,958
This was all just a backup.

1750
01:15:15,958 --> 01:15:17,874
Have you seen Andrew?
‐ No.

1751
01:15:17,875 --> 01:15:19,749
I'm not even sure how I got to the party.

1752
01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:21,457
‐ Well, I was tap‐dancing in the street!

1753
01:15:21,458 --> 01:15:23,291
‐ People were singing
around me at one point.

1754
01:15:23,292 --> 01:15:25,291
‐ I've had an erection for six hours.

1755
01:15:25,292 --> 01:15:26,874
Andrew!

1756
01:15:26,875 --> 01:15:28,749
What the fuck happened to you, man?

1757
01:15:28,750 --> 01:15:30,542
<i>‐ Hey, hey, hey, team name?</i>

1758
01:15:31,917 --> 01:15:33,791
‐ Oh, I'm sorry, we're not competing.

1759
01:15:33,792 --> 01:15:35,582
‐ Hey, if you're not competing,
get the fuck off the stage.

1760
01:15:35,583 --> 01:15:36,292
Right away, sir.

1761
01:15:36,293 --> 01:15:37,832
I put you through enough already.
Let's go and see‐

1762
01:15:37,833 --> 01:15:38,833
‐ Wait, we're competing.

1763
01:15:39,792 --> 01:15:40,500
‐ What?

1764
01:15:40,501 --> 01:15:43,124
‐ There's no way in hell we came this far

1765
01:15:43,125 --> 01:15:45,332
not to take a run
at becoming legends tonight.

1766
01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:48,166
You made this whole night about me.
Now let me do this for you.

1767
01:15:48,167 --> 01:15:49,500
‐ He's right.

1768
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,292
‐ What do you say?

1769
01:15:54,708 --> 01:15:56,874
This is our chance to be remembered.

1770
01:15:56,875 --> 01:15:58,457
‐ Oh man!

1771
01:15:58,458 --> 01:15:59,874
‐ I know that groan! He's in!

1772
01:15:59,875 --> 01:16:02,041
My man.
<i>‐ Hey, guys, team name?</i>

1773
01:16:02,042 --> 01:16:05,624
‐ Um... how about the Best Friends?

1774
01:16:05,625 --> 01:16:07,499
‐ You're gonna get scorched for that name.

1775
01:16:07,500 --> 01:16:08,582
Watch this.

1776
01:16:08,583 --> 01:16:10,249
<i>Hey, give it up for the Best Friends.</i>

1777
01:16:10,250 --> 01:16:12,957
<i>Hey, team Best
friends, where's your Valleyman?</i>

1778
01:16:12,958 --> 01:16:14,332
What the hell's a Valleyman?

1779
01:16:14,333 --> 01:16:15,457
‐ It's your fourth man.

1780
01:16:15,458 --> 01:16:16,750
Every team needs a fourth.

1781
01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,082
If he's not up here in 30 seconds,
you can't compete.

1782
01:16:19,083 --> 01:16:20,083
‐ We didn't know about that.

1783
01:16:20,083 --> 01:16:20,625
‐ Griffin.

1784
01:16:22,750 --> 01:16:23,500
‐ Hey.

1785
01:16:24,125 --> 01:16:24,833
Lena!

1786
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:29,124
Dad? CARLSEN: What
the hell is going on with you?

1787
01:16:29,125 --> 01:16:30,750
Let's go! We're leaving.

1788
01:16:31,542 --> 01:16:32,458
Lena, wait.

1789
01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:37,707
There's something I should have asked you
a long time ago

1790
01:16:37,708 --> 01:16:39,792
and was too terrified
to do anything about it.

1791
01:16:40,792 --> 01:16:43,083
But standing here now in front
of all these people and

1792
01:16:43,917 --> 01:16:46,124
with your dad right behind you,
the whole situation's feeling

1793
01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:47,916
a thousand times more awkward
and terrifying

1794
01:16:47,917 --> 01:16:50,417
than I even imagined it could be,
but that's okay, it doesn't matter.

1795
01:16:56,542 --> 01:16:57,749
Will you go to prom with me?

1796
01:16:57,750 --> 01:16:59,541
‐ Lena, I don't even know where you're at.

1797
01:16:59,542 --> 01:17:01,291
You're sneaking around
and you're lying to me.

1798
01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,333
You gotta come with me.

1799
01:17:03,167 --> 01:17:04,792
I mean, you gotta come alongside me.

1800
01:17:05,792 --> 01:17:06,667
It's time for us to come.

1801
01:17:08,792 --> 01:17:09,625
Let me walk that back.

1802
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:11,749
I don't want that taken
out of context by anybody.

1803
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:12,458
We're leaving.

1804
01:17:13,542 --> 01:17:14,375
‐ No.

1805
01:17:14,708 --> 01:17:16,499
No. No, I'm not leaving.

1806
01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:19,791
I know that sneaking out was wrong,
but you said so yourself,

1807
01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:21,332
I'm not gonna be a teenager forever.

1808
01:17:21,333 --> 01:17:23,374
So, this is where I'm at.

1809
01:17:23,375 --> 01:17:25,791
I want to go out,
and I want to try new things

1810
01:17:25,792 --> 01:17:29,167
and fucking I'm probably gonna make
a thousand mistakes but...

1811
01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:32,957
I'd really love to be able
to talk to my dad about it.

1812
01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:34,916
<i>Come on, guys,
where's your Valleyman?</i>

1813
01:17:34,917 --> 01:17:35,917
‐ Get off the stage, it's over.

1814
01:17:41,917 --> 01:17:42,792
‐ You're my daughter.

1815
01:17:43,792 --> 01:17:44,667
I see you.

1816
01:17:45,625 --> 01:17:48,083
And you can talk to me anytime you want.

1817
01:17:48,917 --> 01:17:50,541
‐ Thank you, Dad. That's exactly what I‐‐

1818
01:17:50,542 --> 01:17:51,375
‐ Just not right now.
‐ Oh!

1819
01:17:52,833 --> 01:17:53,875
‐ I'll be your Valleyman.

1820
01:17:54,458 --> 01:17:57,750
Take out your little pencil
and, uh, scratch down the name...

1821
01:17:58,375 --> 01:18:00,957
El fucking Pantera.

1822
01:18:00,958 --> 01:18:01,999
<i>Oh shit!</i>

1823
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:03,000
‐ Dad?
‐ What is happening?

1824
01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:05,874
<i>‐ It's the return of El Pantera.</i>

1825
01:18:07,292 --> 01:18:08,999
Pantera!

1826
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,417
Pantera!

1827
01:18:10,875 --> 01:18:11,916
Pantera!

1828
01:18:11,917 --> 01:18:13,958
Oh my god! Oh my god!

1829
01:18:14,500 --> 01:18:16,042
Your dad is El Pantera?

1830
01:18:17,542 --> 01:18:19,874
‐ You boys have the balls
to dare to be living legends,

1831
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,333
then I'm not gonna let
some technicality stop that.

1832
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:26,250
Truth be told, I lost
to the Gauntlet once. I was selfish.

1833
01:18:26,958 --> 01:18:28,541
Tried to go solo.

1834
01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:31,167
But now I realize, it takes a team,

1835
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:34,582
but only a team that's built on trust.

1836
01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:35,542
‐ That sounds great.

1837
01:18:35,543 --> 01:18:38,417
‐ You come to my house, you pretend
to be my friend and clean my pool.

1838
01:18:38,958 --> 01:18:39,958
You played me.

1839
01:18:40,500 --> 01:18:41,833
Then I get a text

1840
01:18:42,375 --> 01:18:44,749
saying that you wanna impregnate
my goddamn daughter.

1841
01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:45,957
‐ That was just an auto‐correct.

1842
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:48,042
‐ I respected it, 'cause at least
you were fucking honest,

1843
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:50,957
and that's what I need to have when we're
out there competing in the Gauntlet.

1844
01:18:50,958 --> 01:18:53,832
When the chips are down,
I need to know I can count on you.

1845
01:18:53,833 --> 01:18:54,708
So do me a favor,

1846
01:18:55,458 --> 01:18:56,582
strike me in the nuts.

1847
01:18:56,583 --> 01:18:58,374
You want me to do what?
‐ Show me your cards, Captain.

1848
01:18:58,375 --> 01:19:00,208
Hit me in my balls
and let me know your heart is true.

1849
01:19:01,167 --> 01:19:02,416
‐ I just really
don't feel comfortable doing that.

1850
01:19:02,417 --> 01:19:03,707
‐ No nut shot, no Gauntlet.

1851
01:19:03,708 --> 01:19:04,792
‐ Just do it!

1852
01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,458
‐ Ohh!
‐ Yeah!

1853
01:19:08,542 --> 01:19:09,292
Oh!

1854
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,041
‐ I've never felt as close to anyone

1855
01:19:13,042 --> 01:19:14,583
as I do to you right now.

1856
01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:32,291
Can I get a cawww!

1857
01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:33,416
‐ Cawww!

1858
01:19:33,417 --> 01:19:34,582
Cawww!

1859
01:19:34,583 --> 01:19:36,082
Caw! Caw! Caw!

1860
01:19:36,083 --> 01:19:37,666
<i>Let's do this!</i>

1861
01:19:44,917 --> 01:19:47,291
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

1862
01:19:47,292 --> 01:19:51,541
<i>the time has finally come for this year's</i>

1863
01:19:51,542 --> 01:19:54,082
<i>Gauntlet!</i>

1864
01:19:54,083 --> 01:19:58,291
<i>Which one of our brave competitors
will emerge victorious?</i>

1865
01:19:58,292 --> 01:20:00,291
<i>Now is the chance to create a memory</i>

1866
01:20:00,292 --> 01:20:03,749
<i>that you will cherish
for the rest of your lives.</i>

1867
01:20:03,750 --> 01:20:08,124
<i>To prove that you're more
than the worthless piece of shit</i>

1868
01:20:08,125 --> 01:20:09,957
<i>everyone said you were</i>

1869
01:20:09,958 --> 01:20:12,917
<i>and finally win the heart of your
longtime crush.</i> ‐ Hags. Hags.

1870
01:20:13,500 --> 01:20:15,874
<i>‐ A chance to earn
the respect of your Principal</i>

1871
01:20:15,875 --> 01:20:17,667
<i>so he'll let you take
his daughter to prom.</i>

1872
01:20:18,167 --> 01:20:20,832
<i>A chance to finally prove
to your violent twin brother</i>

1873
01:20:20,833 --> 01:20:23,125
<i>that you are no longer taking his abuse.</i>

1874
01:20:24,208 --> 01:20:28,042
<i>Teams will compete in three rounds
of morally questionable events.</i>

1875
01:20:28,417 --> 01:20:29,874
<i>At the end of round three,</i>

1876
01:20:29,875 --> 01:20:33,249
<i>the two teams with the most points
will face off in a sudden death match.</i>

1877
01:20:33,250 --> 01:20:34,042
Whoo!

1878
01:20:34,043 --> 01:20:37,666
<i>Where the winning team
will be memorialized in Binge history.</i>

1879
01:20:38,792 --> 01:20:40,999
<i>Now put your hands together for round one,</i>

1880
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:44,624
<i>the Liquid Plumber!</i>

1881
01:20:44,625 --> 01:20:48,708
<i>Liquid Plumber!</i>

1882
01:20:49,167 --> 01:20:50,624
<i>Ready?</i>

1883
01:20:50,625 --> 01:20:51,916
<i>Set!</i>

1884
01:20:51,917 --> 01:20:54,291
<i>Binge!</i>

1885
01:20:54,292 --> 01:20:55,999
<i>Now this is easy.</i>

1886
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:59,082
<i>You just chug the mixture
of whiskey, Goldschlager,</i>

1887
01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:01,832
<i>hen's piss, Just For Men hair dye,</i>

1888
01:21:01,833 --> 01:21:03,624
<i>and sink water from an Arby's!</i>

1889
01:21:03,625 --> 01:21:05,582
<i>‐ Then sing The Pledge of Allegiance.</i>

1890
01:21:05,583 --> 01:21:07,374
‐ Let's go, Griffin!
‐ Let's go! Come on!

1891
01:21:07,375 --> 01:21:09,166
<i>‐ To the tune of the national anthem!</i>

1892
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:15,291
<i>Playboy Legends are up.</i>

1893
01:21:15,292 --> 01:21:16,332
‐ Suck it down pipe.

1894
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:21,125
Let's go!

1895
01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:22,916
Let's go, Griff!

1896
01:21:22,917 --> 01:21:23,625
Oh my God!

1897
01:21:24,917 --> 01:21:27,291
‐ I pledge allegiance to the Flag‐‐

1898
01:21:29,667 --> 01:21:31,250
<i>Ice Russians finish.</i>

1899
01:21:32,542 --> 01:21:34,250
<i>Playboy Legends finish.</i>

1900
01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:38,332
‐ For the lib‐‐
With liberty and justice for all!

1901
01:21:38,333 --> 01:21:39,042
‐ Yes!

1902
01:21:39,043 --> 01:21:40,249
<i>And team Best Friends finish!</i>

1903
01:21:40,250 --> 01:21:41,583
‐ Whoo!
‐ Let's go.

1904
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:44,749
Oh damn.

1905
01:21:44,750 --> 01:21:45,957
It's all right, buddy.

1906
01:21:45,958 --> 01:21:47,916
<i>Ice Russians taking an early lead.</i>

1907
01:21:47,917 --> 01:21:50,041
<i>Best Friends having a real hard time.</i>

1908
01:21:50,042 --> 01:21:51,374
<i>The next event:
Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.</i>

1909
01:21:51,375 --> 01:21:53,791
<i>Serbian Molly Tickle Feather.</i>

1910
01:21:53,792 --> 01:21:56,707
<i>Serbian Tickle Feather.</i>

1911
01:21:56,708 --> 01:22:00,291
<i>Competition as old as time itself.</i>

1912
01:22:00,292 --> 01:22:02,291
<i>Best Friends will have
to take this next round</i>

1913
01:22:02,292 --> 01:22:03,458
<i>if they want to stay alive.</i>

1914
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:07,374
<i>Looks like that
quick‐release MDMA is doing its job!</i>

1915
01:22:07,375 --> 01:22:09,332
Andrew, we need this
more than ever, baby. Come on!

1916
01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:10,791
Pull through.
‐ Get him, Andrew, let's go!

1917
01:22:10,792 --> 01:22:11,917
‐ Whoo!

1918
01:22:15,042 --> 01:22:15,958
‐ Hey.

1919
01:22:16,917 --> 01:22:17,833
Hey, Seb.

1920
01:22:18,375 --> 01:22:19,167
‐ What?

1921
01:22:19,167 --> 01:22:19,833
‐ Nothing.

1922
01:22:19,834 --> 01:22:21,625
‐ Pull his arm, Andrew. Pull his arm!

1923
01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:23,250
‐ I love you.

1924
01:22:23,251 --> 01:22:26,708
<i>‐ There's a lot a deep meaningful
conversation happening down there.</i>

1925
01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:29,667
‐ I love you too, bro.

1926
01:22:30,667 --> 01:22:31,707
‐ I've been waiting my whole life‐‐

1927
01:22:32,543 --> 01:22:34,625
No!

1928
01:22:35,458 --> 01:22:37,749
<i>It's a close Gauntlet
out there, folks.</i>

1929
01:22:37,750 --> 01:22:39,916
<i>Ice Russians and the Criminals
neck and neck.</i>

1930
01:22:39,917 --> 01:22:42,374
<i>Team Best Friends
is nearly eliminated at this point.</i>

1931
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:45,083
<i>The only thing that can change
the dynamic of the Gauntlet</i>

1932
01:22:45,667 --> 01:22:47,374
<i>is the Valleymen round.</i>

1933
01:22:47,375 --> 01:22:49,791
<i>‐ It's convenient? Sure.
But what do you want from us?</i>

1934
01:22:49,792 --> 01:22:50,999
<i>We don't make the rules.</i>

1935
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,749
‐ We're gonna need a miracle
to win this thing.

1936
01:22:52,750 --> 01:22:56,041
<i>Alligator Donut.</i>

1937
01:22:56,042 --> 01:22:57,457
<i>This is life or death
for team Best Friends.</i>

1938
01:22:57,458 --> 01:23:00,916
<i>And since it's the Valleymen round,</i>
<i>it actually</i> is

1939
01:23:00,917 --> 01:23:02,416
<i>life or death!</i>

1940
01:23:02,417 --> 01:23:06,749
<i>And for that reason, it's worth
more points than any other round.</i>

1941
01:23:06,750 --> 01:23:10,332
<i>But remember, guys, if there's a death,
no points are awarded.</i>

1942
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:12,041
‐ This is our last shot
at making the finals.

1943
01:23:12,042 --> 01:23:13,707
‐ This is why we play the game.

1944
01:23:16,917 --> 01:23:18,082
<i>Now, Valleymen,</i>

1945
01:23:18,083 --> 01:23:19,500
<i>assume the donut.</i>

1946
01:23:22,083 --> 01:23:25,083
<i>‐ Now, Valleymen, assume the Purple Drank.</i>

1947
01:23:26,875 --> 01:23:30,083
<i>Now, Valleymen,
assume the spin.</i>

1948
01:23:37,667 --> 01:23:38,917
‐ Oh my god!

1949
01:23:43,167 --> 01:23:44,458
<i>Now, Valleymen,</i>

1950
01:23:45,833 --> 01:23:48,291
<i>assume the gator!</i>

1951
01:23:53,250 --> 01:23:55,666
<i>‐ The donut must stay
on the gator's head for five seconds.</i>

1952
01:23:55,667 --> 01:23:57,332
<i>‐ Good luck!</i>
<i>‐ Now be careful,</i>

1953
01:23:57,333 --> 01:24:00,666
<i>he hasn't eaten in a week
and he's been listening to EDM all day.</i>

1954
01:24:00,667 --> 01:24:01,999
<i>He is super hyped up.</i>

1955
01:24:03,125 --> 01:24:04,125
Ready.

1956
01:24:05,042 --> 01:24:05,917
Set!

1957
01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:09,291
<i>Binge!</i>

1958
01:24:12,834 --> 01:24:14,082
‐ Take your time, Pantera, you're good.

1959
01:24:15,708 --> 01:24:16,500
‐ Oh‐kay!

1960
01:24:16,501 --> 01:24:18,957
<i>If the donut stays
on its head till the count of five,</i>

1961
01:24:18,958 --> 01:24:21,000
<i>the game is over.</i>

1962
01:24:21,583 --> 01:24:23,707
‐ Mark, place that fucking donut
on its head.

1963
01:24:26,208 --> 01:24:27,832
<i>Ice Russians place the donut.</i>

1964
01:24:27,833 --> 01:24:28,957
‐ That's what I'm talking about.
‐ Five,

1965
01:24:28,958 --> 01:24:32,500
four, three, two, one!

1966
01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:34,542
‐ What?

1967
01:24:34,543 --> 01:24:36,625
Where did it go? BOOMER:
<i>What the fuck happened to the donut?</i>

1968
01:24:38,708 --> 01:24:40,291
<i>El Pantera has the donut!</i>

1969
01:24:41,458 --> 01:24:42,667
‐ Yes! Yes!

1970
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,832
<i>That's why
they call him El Pantera.</i>

1971
01:24:49,833 --> 01:24:50,916
Wait, can he do that?

1972
01:24:50,917 --> 01:24:52,082
Pantera!

1973
01:24:52,083 --> 01:24:54,416
- Pantera!
- He can.

1974
01:24:54,417 --> 01:24:55,957
- Pantera!
- You got this, Pantera.

1975
01:24:55,958 --> 01:24:57,166
‐ You got it, Pantera. Here we go.

1976
01:24:57,167 --> 01:24:59,916
<i>If the Best Friends can take this,
they'll be in the sudden death round</i>

1977
01:24:59,917 --> 01:25:02,332
<i>with the Ice Russians.</i>

1978
01:25:02,333 --> 01:25:04,207
<i>‐ Sixty seconds remaining.</i>

1979
01:25:10,167 --> 01:25:11,083
‐ Come on, Pantera.

1980
01:25:12,793 --> 01:25:14,042
‐ Dad, be careful.
‐ Lena, quiet.

1981
01:25:14,708 --> 01:25:15,917
You're gonna scare the gator.

1982
01:25:17,333 --> 01:25:18,292
We talked about this.

1983
01:25:18,750 --> 01:25:19,458
‐ When?

1984
01:25:28,750 --> 01:25:29,832
‐ Yeah!
‐ Five,

1985
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:33,457
four, three, two, one.

1986
01:25:37,042 --> 01:25:39,457
<i>El Pantera wins
the Valleymen round</i>

1987
01:25:39,458 --> 01:25:43,332
<i>and puts team Ice Russians
and team Best Friends neck and neck.</i>

1988
01:25:43,333 --> 01:25:45,291
<i>We'll see both of these teams
in the final round</i>

1989
01:25:45,292 --> 01:25:47,749
<i>for all the marbles.</i>

1990
01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:49,749
<i>Cocaine Scarface.</i>

1991
01:25:49,750 --> 01:25:52,666
<i>You have three minutes
to snort as much cocaine as possible.</i>

1992
01:25:52,667 --> 01:25:54,832
<i>But if you pick your head up at any point,</i>

1993
01:25:54,833 --> 01:25:58,374
<i>you have to do your best Al Pacino</i>
<i>in</i> Scarface <i>impression</i>

1994
01:25:58,375 --> 01:25:59,749
<i>until you go back to snorting.</i>

1995
01:25:59,750 --> 01:26:03,041
‐ <i>The Gauntlet Win will go to the
team with the most coke snorted</i>

1996
01:26:03,042 --> 01:26:04,457
<i>and the best Pacino'ing.</i>

1997
01:26:04,458 --> 01:26:05,582
Come on, Hags, you got this.

1998
01:26:05,583 --> 01:26:08,124
Let's go, Hags!

1999
01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:09,125
‐ Okay.

2000
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:10,792
<i>Ready!</i>

2001
01:26:12,833 --> 01:26:13,583
<i>Set!</i>

2002
01:26:15,500 --> 01:26:17,791
<i>Binge!</i>

2003
01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:23,082
<i>Say hello to my little friend.</i>

2004
01:26:23,083 --> 01:26:24,457
‐ Yeah!

2005
01:26:24,458 --> 01:26:27,666
‐ Oh yeah, I'm... I'm Scarface.

2006
01:26:27,667 --> 01:26:30,207
I mean, look at my big ass scar
on my face.

2007
01:26:30,208 --> 01:26:31,999
I look just like him.

2008
01:26:32,000 --> 01:26:33,207
‐ Hags, have you ever seen <i>Scarface?</i>

2009
01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:35,250
‐ Yes, I've seen <i>Scarface!</i>
‐ Then do <i>Scarface!</i>

2010
01:26:35,833 --> 01:26:38,707
<i>All I have</i>
<i>in this world is my word and my balls,</i>

2011
01:26:38,708 --> 01:26:41,124
<i>and I don't break 'em for no one.</i>

2012
01:26:41,125 --> 01:26:44,042
‐ I have nipples, Focker. Can you milk me?

2013
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,041
‐ That's Robert fucking De Niro
from <i>Meet the Fockers.</i>

2014
01:26:48,042 --> 01:26:49,124
<i>‐ Dumbass.</i>

2015
01:26:49,125 --> 01:26:50,166
<i>You know what a</i> chazzer <i>is?</i>

2016
01:26:50,167 --> 01:26:52,291
<i>It's a pig who don't fly straight.</i>

2017
01:26:52,292 --> 01:26:55,207
‐ How does she know so much <i>Scarface?</i>
She's just crushing it.

2018
01:26:55,208 --> 01:26:57,582
‐ Who hasn't seen <i>Scarface?</i>

2019
01:26:57,583 --> 01:27:00,624
‐ I am the best Scarface
from here to Pelican Bay!

2020
01:27:00,625 --> 01:27:04,166
‐ I mean, you do a great Denzel,
but we're not doing Denzel right now.

2021
01:27:04,167 --> 01:27:06,541
‐ Kong King ain't got nothing on me!

2022
01:27:06,542 --> 01:27:08,082
‐ Get your head out of your ass, Hags.
‐ Yes, sir.

2023
01:27:08,083 --> 01:27:09,832
<i>‐ Time is almost up.</i>
‐ Oh my god.

2024
01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:11,416
‐ Dig deep, Hags. Here we go.

2025
01:27:11,417 --> 01:27:13,457
Push it to the limit, Hags!

2026
01:27:22,417 --> 01:27:24,582
‐ I'll have what she's having.

2027
01:27:24,583 --> 01:27:25,583
‐ Fucking dork.

2028
01:27:27,625 --> 01:27:28,999
‐ You gotta make your life matter.

2029
01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:30,582
Tonight we become legends, Griffin.

2030
01:27:30,583 --> 01:27:32,125
We become legends‐‐ become legends‐‐

2031
01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:35,042
<i>Gauntlet legends.</i>

2032
01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:37,833
<i>What I wouldn't do to be up on this wall.</i>

2033
01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:40,250
‐ Thank you, Quan.

2034
01:27:40,251 --> 01:27:41,624
Quan. Quan.

2035
01:27:44,125 --> 01:27:45,250
<i>What're you lookin' at?</i>

2036
01:27:46,125 --> 01:27:46,833
<i>Hmm?</i>

2037
01:27:50,042 --> 01:27:52,792
<i>You're all a bunch of fuckin' assholes.</i>

2038
01:27:57,250 --> 01:27:58,583
<i>'Cause you don't have the guts</i>

2039
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:00,917
<i>to be what you wanna be.</i>

2040
01:28:01,833 --> 01:28:04,417
<i>You people just know how to hide,</i>

2041
01:28:05,542 --> 01:28:06,667
<i>how to lie.</i>

2042
01:28:07,625 --> 01:28:08,874
<i>But see, me, no,</i>

2043
01:28:08,875 --> 01:28:11,083
<i>I don't have no problems.
I don't have those problems.</i>

2044
01:28:11,917 --> 01:28:13,792
<i>'Cause I always tell the truth.</i>

2045
01:28:15,250 --> 01:28:16,250
<i>Even when I lie.</i>

2046
01:28:18,500 --> 01:28:22,417
<i>So say goodnight to the bad guy!</i>

2047
01:28:23,917 --> 01:28:25,500
<i>Because you'll never</i>

2048
01:28:26,583 --> 01:28:29,292
<i>see a bad guy like me again!</i>

2049
01:28:49,542 --> 01:28:51,916
<i>Team Best Friends
have won the Gauntlet!</i>

2050
01:28:51,917 --> 01:28:53,957
‐ We did it! We won!

2051
01:29:08,167 --> 01:29:10,000
I'll have what she's having!

2052
01:29:29,708 --> 01:29:33,042
<i>And with that,
another Binge has come and gone.</i>

2053
01:29:33,917 --> 01:29:38,333
<i>Tough lessons, the kind only
experience teaches, have been learned.</i>

2054
01:29:39,125 --> 01:29:42,500
<i>With a little diligence,
this initiative can work.</i>

2055
01:29:42,917 --> 01:29:45,916
<i>It can strike fear, it can take lives,</i>

2056
01:29:45,917 --> 01:29:48,208
<i>but it can also save them.</i>

2057
01:29:48,833 --> 01:29:50,749
<i>So until next Binge,</i>

2058
01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:53,041
<i>stay alert, stay vigilant</i>

2059
01:29:53,042 --> 01:29:56,792
<i>and for heaven's sake, suck it down pipe.</i>

2060
01:30:02,208 --> 01:30:03,000
Wow!

2061
01:30:03,001 --> 01:30:04,167
Lena, you look

2062
01:30:04,875 --> 01:30:06,582
- so amazing.
- What?

2063
01:30:06,583 --> 01:30:08,624
I just woke up like this!

2064
01:30:14,958 --> 01:30:16,583
‐ Do you want me to put this on?
‐ Yeah.

2065
01:30:19,708 --> 01:30:20,583
‐ I'm proud of you.

2066
01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:24,958
‐ I'm proud of you too, Dad.

2067
01:30:26,750 --> 01:30:27,999
‐ All right, get out of here.
You two look great.

2068
01:30:29,750 --> 01:30:31,083
‐ Thank you.

2069
01:30:32,500 --> 01:30:34,832
Come on, Griffin!

2070
01:30:34,833 --> 01:30:36,541
Griffin! ‐ All right, guys,
this is our stop. This is our stop.

2071
01:30:36,542 --> 01:30:37,375
Everybody relax.

2072
01:30:37,376 --> 01:30:39,166
‐ You guys have fun!
Watch your speed limit in that thing.

2073
01:30:39,167 --> 01:30:40,832
‐ Yes, sir.
‐ Sarah, I love that hair.

2074
01:30:40,833 --> 01:30:42,625
It's crazy. Double bag it for me, Quan.

2075
01:30:43,042 --> 01:30:45,124
Andrew, nothing weird about you.

2076
01:30:45,125 --> 01:30:47,625
Kimmi... fantastic.

2077
01:30:48,333 --> 01:30:50,082
‐ Are we really riding this the whole way?

2078
01:30:50,083 --> 01:30:51,957
‐ This is the PromCycle. This thing fucks.

2079
01:30:51,958 --> 01:30:53,957
Let's go! Full speed ahead.

2080
01:30:53,958 --> 01:30:55,291
Time is wasting.

2081
01:30:55,292 --> 01:30:56,791
Come on, Lena.
Put your, put your thighs in it.

2082
01:30:56,792 --> 01:30:58,041
I am!

2083
01:31:01,458 --> 01:31:02,499
‐ Who paid for the Fantas?

2084
01:31:16,375 --> 01:31:17,416
‐ Future boo.

2085
01:34:38,875 --> 01:34:42,332
<i>Nooo!</i>