88 Maids Per Hour

11:36pm <[Gtz]Kleiner> What? Reverse-intra function? OH! Introduction! Why yes, I'm Doctor Calvin Kleine, and it's my honest delight to welcome you aboard the Eternity Express! I'll greatly enjoy the company, so long as you don't... touch... ANYTHING.
11:39pm <[kiri]Ikaruga> Heh. I'm Ikaruga. Fancy meeting you.
11:39pm <[kiri]Ikaruga> We will have a very 'fun' times together....fufufufufu~
11:42pm * [Gtz]Kleiner is now known as [Gtz]Kleine
11:43pm <[Pyg]Hilde> My name is Hilde Bertram. I'm surprised that mankind is still alive so far in the future. Oh! And this little guy is Pascal!
11:44pm * [Pyg]Hilde 's dog, Pascal, let's out a bark.
11:48pm * [huh]Aki has joined #maidrpg
11:52pm <[huh]Aki> HI, I'm Aki Natsuko. I hope that we all can make a good team.
11:53pm * [kiri]Ikaruga smirk
11:54pm * [huh]Aki doesn't seem to notice.
11:55pm * [Atai]Redundancy has been silent for a long while, now, but suddenly blinks.
11:55pm <[Atai]Redundancy> My goodness.
11:55pm <[Atai]Redundancy> Pardon me, I was daydreaming.
11:55pm <[Atai]Redundancy> The factorials were most delicious.
11:55pm <[Atai]Redundancy> My name is Redundancy Into Greater Purpose For Three. However, you may simply call me Red or Redundancy if you so desire.
11:55pm <[Atai]Redundancy> Dr. Kleiner is a dear friend of mine from many years back ahead into the future of several years ago, even now, but that was all in the past to come, just as it have was going to been before this older today-time.
11:55pm <[kiri]Ikaruga> Red, huh?
11:55pm <[Atai]Redundancy> As he has seen fit to entrust you all with this mission, then I too shall entrust myself into your care, and look forward to working with you all.
11:56pm * [Atai]Redundancy bows slightly.
11:56pm * [Gtz]Kleine snores lightly
11:57pm <[Pyg]Hilde> Doctor?
11:58pm <[kiri]Ikaruga> Eh. looks like I'm with the bucnh of useless maggots again.
11:58pm * [kiri]Ikaruga sigh.
11:58pm * [Gtz]Kleine bolts up, starting mid-sentence something about string theory
11:59pm * [Pyg]Hilde eyes the maid Ikaruga with an annoyed glance.
11:59pm <[Pyg]Hilde> Well, you're certainly a friendly one!
11:59pm <[Gtz]Kleine> WITH THE ROTATION OF THE BALL'S PRIMORDIAL AXIS AND THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL OF THE CORIOLIS EFFECT, IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO-
Session Time: Sat Nov 15 00:00:01 2008
12:00am <[Gtz]Kleine> OH. Yes. The game. Who're we waiting for still?
12:01am <[Pyg]Hilde> No one in particular, Herr Doctor.
12:03am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Waiting for you to stop dozing off and get on with it already, dear doctor.
12:05am <[Atai]Redundancy> .....Good morning, Doc.
12:06am * PaperBoy has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
12:09am * [Gtz]Kleine ignoring or perhaps simply not hearing Ikaruga, looks at his watch and smiles at Red
12:10am * GameMode is now known as [Mode]Maya
12:11am <[Gtz]Kleine> Ah, there's that girl.
12:12am * PaperBoy has joined #maidrpg
12:12am * [Mode]Maya stares off, apparently not paying attention as she hums to herself.
12:13am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Hey hey hey... is this a party for wierdoes or what?
12:13am <[kiri]Ikaruga> You guys are pathetic. all of you.
12:16am <[Gtz]Kleine> Keep up with that condescending attitude of yours, young lady, and I'll just send you back to the Dark Ages.
12:16am <[Gtz]Kleine> Yes. Well. I believe we may get started now. Places, everyone!
12:16am <[Pyg]Hilde> That's right, you should be greatful Herr Doktor bothered to get you out of there!
12:16am <[Mode]Maya> Pla- What? Wait, what's going on?
12:17am * [kiri]Ikaruga is not paying attention to any negative retort and just pretend she didn't hear it.
12:17am <[Gtz]Kleine> [this space reserved for NEEERRDS]
12:18am * [Atai]Redundancy moves smoothly to her assigned spot.
12:18am <[Gtz]Kleine> [QUIT DOING THAT]
12:18am <[Mary]GM> Switch scene to what appears to be a typical highschool classroom, with Dr.Kleine furiously scribbling a variety of numbers, integers, graphs, symbols, abstractions, and various other calculations on a chalk board.
12:19am <[Gtz]Kleine> ...And...that's...what...makes...time travel... Possible!
12:19am <[Mode]Maya> Ooooh! I think I get it now!
12:20am <[Gtz]Kleine> Any questions?
12:20am * [Atai]Redundancy raises her hand.
12:20am <[Gtz]Kleine> Yes, Red?
12:22am <[Atai]Redundancy> Why did you not carry the 2 on the left underhalf of Germaine's Greater Temporal formula? The answer is nevertheless correct, but you appear to have missed that... Unless this was a trick question leading into Thermodynamic hyperbollocks. In which case I have not seen that approach before.
12:22am * [Atai]Redundancy lowers her hand.
12:22am <[Atai]Redundancy> Question withdrawn.
12:24am * [Atai]Redundancy stares off into space, although a slight frown creases her brow as she attempts to figure this one out.
12:24am * [Pyg]Hilde cannot retain such complex concepts and simply allows it all to fly past her head.
12:24am * [Pyg]Hilde , instead, opts to nod, feigning understanding.
12:24am * [Gtz]Kleine briefly considers arguing the finer points of Germains's Greater Temporal, but decides to pick on Hilde for a moment
12:25am <[Gtz]Kleine> Hilde! From what I have presented, what do you understand about time travel?
12:26am <[Pyg]Hilde> If I'm being honest, Herr Doktor...
12:26am * [kiri]Ikaruga doesn't pay attention and trying to tab guitar chords.
12:26am <[Pyg]Hilde> ...I don't understand a single thing.
12:29am * [huh]Aki likewise doesn't pay attention, but stares out the window.
12:29am <[Gtz]Kleine> Hah! That's perfectly normal. To say the truth I don't fully comprehend most aspects that involve time travel on a minute scale. Let's start with the simple bits first, shall we?
12:30am <[Pyg]Hilde> ...Okay.
12:31am <[kiri]Ikaruga> ..go on.
12:36am <[Gtz]Kleine> All right. First off, you need a vast, dedicated source of power to generate the energy needed to travel backwards through time and space. We have that here at the heart of the Eternity Express, which I'll be showing you shortly. Anyway, if this force can meet another like it, but on a smaller scale, it will allow for time and space to be changed for a short period, and during this period we...
12:36am <[Gtz]Kleine> ...can apply this energy and send you to a preexisting time and a preexisting space.
12:37am * [Gtz]Kleine paces back and forth, pointing to specific algorithms and expressions
12:37am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Hey, dear doctor. Can I say something?
12:38am <[Gtz]Kleine> Now, here's the tri- oh, yes Ms.Ikaruga?
12:38am * [kiri]Ikaruga hands up.
12:38am <[kiri]Ikaruga> We don't need to know all this. YOU are the one who will operate, right?
12:38am <[kiri]Ikaruga> So please, be a gentlemen and shut up already.
12:38am <[kiri]Ikaruga> pretty please~?
12:39am <[Gtz]Kleine> Ms. Ikaruga, if you continue such foul behavior, I'll send you back to the year 2000 and be done with you. Now please, don't interrupt.
12:40am <[kiri]Ikaruga> oh my oh my~
12:42am <[Mode]Maya> I kind of like it though.
12:42am <[Gtz]Kleine> Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because it's important for you to understand what you're dealing with. This is serious work, ladies. Perhaps the most dangerous job a person could partake. One simple flaw or error could cause a time paradox and destroy the fundemental laws of nature which we're all bound by.
12:43am <[Mode]Maya> That's okay! Even if someone gets killed they don't have to stay dead.
12:44am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Time paradox you say?
12:44am * [Atai]Redundancy 's attention drifts back into something resembling coherent shape, and she blinks and looks at the other two.
12:45am <[Atai]Redundancy> Oh yes. They're such a bother sometimes.
12:45am <[Gtz]Kleine> Now now, Maya, I know what you're thinking, it's the same thing I thought back when I built the Chrono Spear back in 2018. I can assure you, it's simply not a safe thing to do. Every mistake you correct will cause another, then you'll go back and fix that mistake and cause two more. Eventually you find yourself in an infinite loop of trying to get back to square one.
12:46am <[Gtz]Kleine> We call that "The Butterfly Effect" and it's one of the natural disasters that can occur during time travel.
12:47am <[Mode]Maya> Mmm, I never had that problem before... Human time travel seems kind of rough.
12:47am <[kiri]Ikaruga> ......human?
12:47am <[kiri]Ikaruga> heh. you picked up my interest.
12:49am <[Atai]Redundancy> Doc is quite correct. I once made the City of New York back into a Dutch colony for three days when I inadvertently paid a fur trader in currency from the year 1921. As for other means of temporal travel, I suspect from your commentary that you are used to your own methods, Miss Maya, but believe me when I say that nothing you do does not have an impact somewhere else.
12:51am <[Gtz]Kleine> Thank you, Red! 'Tis a perfect example of the dangers of time travel. We'll be getting into that in a moment.
12:52am <[Mode]Maya> Well, yeah, I guess.
12:52am * [Gtz]Kleine erases half the problem off the board, and draws two infinity symbols
12:52am * [Mode]Maya starts kicking her feet absently at her desk.
12:52am <[Mode]Maya> If something goes wrong though, a Seraphim can usually just override it with a miracle.
12:53am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Two infinity?
12:53am <[kiri]Ikaruga> That makes it eighty-eight.
12:53am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Like in "Back to the future".... fufufufufu~
12:53am * [Atai]Redundancy covers her mouth daintily with a hand and giggles quietly at Maya's comment, but does not say anything.
12:53am <[kiri]Ikaruga> how ironic
12:54am * [kiri]Ikaruga giggles at her own silly jokes.
12:58am <[Gtz]Kleine> Alright, this is, in short, what is needed to travel through time. To bend time and space, you need twice the amount of energy that would be considered "infinite" to do this, you place two black holes parallel to each other and form a magnetic field around them to keep them contained. Now, here's where dark matter comes into play, I won't get into all that, but I'll just say it causes the...
12:58am <[Gtz]Kleine> ...energy to continuously be used and renewed, a perpetual motion machine on a celestial scale.
1:00am * [Pyg]Hilde swears trying to make sense of this amount of information is starting to make her head hurt.
1:00am <[Gtz]Kleine> And therein lies the problem and the reason why we must use the machine.
1:01am * [kiri]Ikaruga DID understand it, but doesn't bother explain that to anyone.
1:02am <[Gtz]Kleine> As energy approaches infinity, the Universe all falls back to a central point, collapsing on itself in a great "crunch".
1:03am <[Mode]Maya> That sounds kind of dangerous...
1:03am <[Pyg]Hilde> More like scary.
1:03am <[Gtz]Kleine> Or in other words, it ends. See you later, alligator, after a while, crocodile, don't forget to write.
1:04am * [kiri]Ikaruga chuckles at Doc's joke.
1:05am <[Mode]Maya> You sure this is safe to do it this way?
1:06am <[Gtz]Kleine> However! Just like the infinity symbol, time revolves around in infinite loop, history both changing and repeating itself. In it's natural state, it would theoretically go on forever, and we need no fear of causing paradoxes or... well, destroying the universe.
1:07am <[kiri]Ikaruga> ...sounds fun.
1:08am <[Gtz]Kleine> And that's were you come in, my dears! To ensure our future, we must preserve our history. Think of it like a road you travel to and from work everyday. As time goes on, the road wears and tears, and if it is not fixed, it will soon become impossible to traverse it.
1:09am <[Gtz]Kleine> In this example, you would function much like a road construction worker or repairman.
1:09am <[Mode]Maya> What if you used to fly everywhere?
1:10am <[Gtz]Kleine> Then I suppose you don't have much to worry about, do you?
1:11am <[Mode]Maya> Oh, well I guess not!
1:11am <[Atai]Redundancy> ...Although construction and human habitation will alter the temperature, climate, and airflow of that area.
1:12am <[Gtz]Kleine> That's right, Red. Also brings me to my next point: Paradoxes.
1:14am <[Gtz]Kleine> The most common example of time paradoxes in the Grandfather paradox: If you went back in time and killed your grandfather, would that erase you from history?
1:14am <[Pyg]Hilde> ...Would it?
1:15am <[Mode]Maya> It wouldn't, I think.
1:15am <[Mode]Maya> I mean, if you weren't born, how could you time travel to kill someone?
1:16am <[Gtz]Kleine> The impossibility and possibilty varies upon each timeline. You see, everything that has happened in our past may not have happened in another, this is the theory of alternate universes, which are separate but coinciding timelines.
1:17am * [Pyg]Hilde seems to have a better grasp now of what is being discussed. Yeah, it sounds like something out of a book she used to read when she a little girl.
1:18am <[Gtz]Kleine> However! Simply because they are separate does not mean they do not effect each other. What goes on in one timeline, however subtlety, may change events in another.
1:20am <[Atai]Redundancy> Nevertheless, we do try to conduct operations in areas favorable to a lack of participant ancestry.
1:20am * [kiri]Ikaruga shift her weight around nervously.
1:20am <[kiri]Ikaruga> All this tech-talk is not my type....
1:20am <[Atai]Redundancy> Avoidance of collateral damage is preferred, though at times, unavoidable.
1:21am <[Mode]Maya> Hmm, guess I don't have to worry about being erased from existence then...
1:21am * [Atai]Redundancy giggles daintily again.
1:22am <[Mode]Maya> Unless I destroy a church or something...
1:22am <[Atai]Redundancy> Oh goodness, no. Wherever did you get that idea from?
1:23am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Hey hey hey....
1:23am <[Atai]Redundancy> Everything in history has a place and a time at every point along its existence.
1:23am <[Gtz]Kleine> That's exactly right. Back to the road example. As many timelines and worlds follow the same path, they're bound to bump into each other and effect one another's history. Normally this is perfectly fine, however since the creation of the Machine, those bumps leave nasty potholes on our road. Things change from what history originally dictates, and they must be corrected to follow that...
1:23am <[Gtz]Kleine> ...preexisting timeline to a degree.
1:23am <[kiri]Ikaruga> isn't time travel requires the "theory of energy" thingy?
1:24am <[kiri]Ikaruga> it's about... one plane can only exist one amount of energy...
1:24am <[kiri]Ikaruga> and adding people in any time means adding more energy to the plane.
1:24am <[kiri]Ikaruga> and it will become unstable.
1:24am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Eh, guess I'm just mistaken.
1:25am <[Gtz]Kleine> No no, it's all quite true, Ms. Ikaruga, allow me to explain.
1:30am <[Gtz]Kleine> You see, when time travel was first invented, perhaps by myself, perhaps by beings beyond my imagination, the very existence of such a power caused many laws of nature to stretch, bend, break, and construe. Changes in timelines caused by myself as well as other time travelers has spurred this reaction. It's quite ironic, actually. We must use a machine to fix a problem it has caused before...
1:30am <[Gtz]Kleine> ...it destroys us all.
1:32am * [Gtz]Kleine sits down for a moment, and prefixes his stare on some random object
1:32am <[Mode]Maya> Mmm, maybe if you prayed hard enough someone might fix your mistakes for you.
1:33am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Eh, kiddie.
1:33am <[kiri]Ikaruga> God doesn't help you often. He's a busy man.
1:34am <[Gtz]Kleine> Sigh... I've spent my entire life trying to understand and fight this thing. But if I don't do it... 14ha, who would?
1:34am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Pray enough, and you might get in the loooooooooooong queue in his office.
1:34am * [Mode]Maya chuckles slightly.
1:34am <[Mode]Maya> The line's not that long, really.
1:34am <[kiri]Ikaruga> oh hoh ho.
1:35am <[Atai]Redundancy> ...Well, I would. But that's my job anyway.
1:35am * [Atai]Redundancy pats Kleiner's arm companionably.
1:36am * [Gtz]Kleine Red's pat snaps him out of his daze, and he bolts straight up from his seat
1:37am <[Gtz]Kleine> OH! Ah, pardon me, Red. *AHEM* Um, are there any questions?
1:37am <[kiri]Ikaruga> noooooope...
1:38am <[Pyg]Hilde> I'm afraid a question may leave me with answers that will make me ask more questions, Herr Doktor.
1:38am <[Pyg]Hilde> It's beyond my mental capacity.
1:38am <[Gtz]Kleine> Hahahaha, so is the way of time travel, Ms. Hilde.
1:38am <[kiri]Ikaruga> ...or I should say, whatever.
1:38am <[kiri]Ikaruga> I'm sick of waiting.
1:41am <[Gtz]Kleine> Ms. Ikaruga, if you don't want to be here, you can dismiss yourself and return to the dormitory any time you like. However, if you're interested in being a part of this operation, I would recommend that you try to comprehend the aspects of your subject matter to their fullest extents, or those allowed by human reason.
1:41am * [Mode]Maya raises her hand.
1:41am * [kiri]Ikaruga whistles.
1:41am <[Mode]Maya> Question!
1:42am <[Gtz]Kleine> Yes, Miss Maya.
1:42am <[Mode]Maya> Do I have to comprehend human reasoning too?
1:43am * [Atai]Redundancy grins uncharacteristically widely.
1:43am * [kiri]Ikaruga also grins.
1:43am <[Atai]Redundancy> Why Miss Maya, that's only a part of it.
1:44am <[Gtz]Kleine> Well, by definition human reason is the farthest reaches one can possibly ascertain without divine assistance, but no, I will not be lecturing on human reason. That can be a story for another day.
1:45am * [Mode]Maya smiles at the 'divine assistance' part.
1:45am <[Mode]Maya> Oh, okay!
1:46am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Say, little girl.....
1:46am * [kiri]Ikaruga speaks to Maya.
1:46am <[Atai]Redundancy> ....What will save you is comprehending human confusion. It is a far more engaging study, and possibly infinitely more difficult.
1:46am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Who are you. Or rather, WHAT are you?
1:46am * [kiri]Ikaruga jabs with simple question.
1:47am * [Mode]Maya looks away, as if she wasn't listening.
1:47am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Oh hoh ho~
1:48am <[kiri]Ikaruga> well played, you whippersnapper.
1:48am <[Gtz]Kleine> All right, enough of that.
1:49am <[kiri]Ikaruga> .......'kaaaay~
1:49am <[Gtz]Kleine> I think it's time we took a visit to the heart of the Eternity Express, the God of the Machine.
1:50am * [Atai]Redundancy claps her hands together in eagerness.
1:50am <[Gtz]Kleine> If you'll please excuse yourselves to the lobby, I'll configure the holo-decks settings to their defaults and be right with you.
1:50am <[Atai]Redundancy> Oh, I do so love this part..
1:50am * [kiri]Ikaruga shrugs.
1:51am * [Atai]Redundancy hops out of her seat, a bounce in her footsteps as she happily leads the way, not really caring if anyone is following or not.
1:52am * [kiri]Ikaruga just sigh, and silently follows.
1:53am * [Mode]Maya heads form her seat and follows everyone, hands clasped behind her back.
1:53am * [Gtz]Kleine fools with a switch on the wall that looks like a thermostat. With a flip of a switch, everything in the room disappears and returns to being a large, empty white room.
1:54am * [kiri]Ikaruga has quit IRC (Quit: CADBURY CHOCOLATE BAR)
1:55am * [kiri]Ikaruga has joined #maidrpg
1:55am <[Pyg]Hilde> ...What just happened?
1:56am <[Gtz]Kleine> Oh, that's another thing. This here's some piece of alien technology I managed to get functioning properly, it's a field that allows you to generate an artificial surrounding. The field can be surprisingly life-like, you could generate a sandy beach and the sand would feel the same in here as it would between your toes back on Earth.
1:57am <[kiri]Ikaruga> nice one.
1:57am * [Atai]Redundancy huffs a little.
1:58am <[Atai]Redundancy> It was working fine, Doc, I assure you. We simply usually need them to create much larger simulations.
1:58am <[Pyg]Hilde> You never told me about this room, Herr Doktor.
1:58am <[Atai]Redundancy> It was not my intent to have it cause a loss of power to the rest of the city.
1:58am <[Gtz]Kleine> However, while the sensations look, feel, smell, sound, and taste real, it's all simply an elaborate fabrication. If you drink a Coke in here, it won't actually quench your thirst.
1:59am <[Atai]Redundancy> (retcon: station wing for "city")
1:59am <[kiri]Ikaruga> The view is nice, by the way.
2:00am <[Gtz]Kleine> It has many such preset realities, one of which included a normal highschool class from my time. I use it for purposes that include research and relaxation. If you ever want to use it, just ask Red or I and we'll get the thing working for you.
2:02am <[Gtz]Kleine> However, I implore that you don't stay for too long. Three hours at the most, that's when it automatically cuts off without an override command. Some people get so caught up in their fantasies, they walk into this room, and they never want to leave...
2:02am <[Gtz]Kleine> OH! But I digress. Come with me, ladies.
2:07am <[kiri]Ikaruga> alright.
2:07am * [kiri]Ikaruga follows.
2:08am * [Mode]Maya remains following.
2:08am * [Pyg]Hilde follows after the doctor as directed.
2:10am * [Gtz]Kleine leads the team to a large hallway, on one side are offices and centers of scientific research, while on the other are the station's dormitories.
2:12am <[Gtz]Kleine> To those of you that have most recently joined us, these are the rooms in which you'll be living here at the Eternity Express. Space is limited, so I recommend finding a roommate as to more easily accommodate new members to the team.
2:14am * [Gtz]Kleine continues leading down the long, rather huge hallway that seems to go a great distance. As he's walking, explains and makes note of certain areas.
2:14am <[Gtz]Kleine> This hallway runs down all the way to the other end of the station, with the time machine right in the middle.
2:16am * [Atai]Redundancy has been following all along, still just as strangely perky as before.
2:16am <[Gtz]Kleine> This is the East Wing, this is where everyone who has something to do with the machine itself resides. On the West Wing is what we'd classify as civilians, those who don't wish to take part in the machine's use or would simply wish to be sent home to their own time.
2:16am <[Pyg]Hilde> Were you able to properly reconfigure those bugs from last week, Herr Doktor?
2:17am <[kiri]Ikaruga> hm.
2:17am * [kiri]Ikaruga nods
2:18am <[Gtz]Kleine> Oh, you mean the problem we had with the fans in the central hub? I believe that's been cleared up, yes, it shouldn't be a bother anymore...
2:21am * [Gtz]Kleine minutes later, the hallway splits in a circle, revealing a massive pillar pointing straight down toward Earth
2:22am <[Gtz]Kleine> This... is it.
2:22am <[Mode]Maya> It's... what again?
2:23am * [Pyg]Hilde can only stare in awe.
2:24am <[Gtz]Kleine> This column you see here is the time machine itself. It pierces the space station dead-center and is kept pointed down on Earth.
2:24am * [Atai]Redundancy lets out a happy sigh.
2:25am <[kiri]Ikaruga> uh-huh...
2:25am * [Gtz]Kleine leads the group up to the very top of the pillar, with a large door leading inside
2:26am * [Gtz]Kleine stands before the door, and turns around
2:27am <[Gtz]Kleine> This is where you will embark on all your missions. You'll be contained within the column, equipped with your time traveling suits, and sent straight down to Earth, transcending space and time along the way.
2:29am * [Gtz]Kleine rummages through a few lockers near the entrance
2:30am <[Gtz]Kleine> Now... This machine will send you back in time, but if you don't have the proper equipment, there's no way for you to get back! That's why I've devised these uniforms, to protect and ensure the return of any of our time travelers. I happen to have one right...
2:31am <[kiri]Ikaruga> how can you be so sure that it will ensure our return?
2:31am <[kiri]Ikaruga> It's just... uh...
2:32am * [Gtz]Kleine pulls out and displays a rather unique looking maid uniform. All of its features seem to be ergonomical and built with efficiency in mind, while retaining the charm of a french maid outfit.
2:32am <[Pyg]Hilde> Oh, come on, surely Herr Doktor knows what he's talking about!
2:32am <[Gtz]Kleine> ...Here!
2:33am <[kiri]Ikaruga> Can't hurt being cautious, eh?
2:34am <[Gtz]Kleine> If you need proof, my dear, just look a little to your left. Red was the very first to test my equipment, and she's just as fine as ever.
2:34am * [Atai]Redundancy nods.
2:36am <[Atai]Redundancy> The uniform is built for comfort and freedom of movement, and has more of humankind's technological advances over the past 50 years packed into it than any research center you care to name.
2:37am <[Gtz]Kleine> That's right, Red. The uniform itself sets a magnetic field around the wearer, protecting them from trans-dimensional problems and failures during the trip itself. It's also built with comfort and versatility in mind, and also... combat.
2:37am <[Mode]Maya> Combat?
2:37am <[Atai]Redundancy> I myself have tested it under conditions normally lethal to most humans, and the uniform indeed performed quite admirably while retaining extremely little wear.
2:37am <[Atai]Redundancy> Indeed.
2:38am <[Pyg]Hilde> Ah, as expected of the future! They have truly reached the peak of maid uniforms!
2:39am <[Gtz]Kleine> Yes, Miss Maya, there will most definitely be situations where your very life will be placed on the line. More than that, your family, your friends, your comrades, your timeline, and the universe rests on these poofy shoulders.
2:40am <[Gtz]Kleine> However, I wish to state, I will never force you to undergo a mission you do not want to undergo.
2:40am * [Mode]Maya tilts her head to the side.
2:41am <[Mode]Maya> Well, if the universe ceased to exist maybe, but... I think the others would be mad if I started hurting people.
2:41am <[kiri]Ikaruga> haha, right.....
2:41am <[Gtz]Kleine> The choice is entirely up to you. If you like, I can simply have your memories of this place wiped and send you back to your home, in whatever time that may be.
2:42am <[Mode]Maya> ... But they'd probably be a lot angrier if I let all His hard work go to waste because His children were too curious...
2:44am <[Gtz]Kleine> Ohhh, I do not wish to use violence in an act of science, but it will be surely necessary. Humans won't change their nature, no matter how much nature changes, and it's something you all must be prepared for.
2:44am * [Atai]Redundancy nods at this.
2:45am <[Atai]Redundancy> However, we do like to avoid conflict when possible. My own studies of human culture showed that a maid's outfit had a significantly disarming effect on a majority of people from various social classes, nations, and times.
2:46am <[Atai]Redundancy> Thus, this design was chosen, and the technology incorporated within.
2:47am <[Gtz]Kleine> Hahaha, actually it's because I thought "If I get cute girls to wear maid uniforms, I can research the world's two greatest mysteries at once!"
2:47am <[Mode]Maya> "Two"?
2:47am <[Pyg]Hilde> So, what features will we expect to be in these uniforms, Herr Doktor?
2:48am * [Atai]Redundancy sighs patiently.
2:48am <[Atai]Redundancy> ...As you have mentioned before, Doc.
2:48am <[Gtz]Kleine> Yes, two. The infamous question of "Why?" and the universe's biggest mystery of all, one which could never be solved through the use of the grandest of technology.
2:48am <[Gtz]Kleine> 14Women...
2:49am <[Mode]Maya> ...
2:49am <[Mode]Maya> Human women are confusing, aren't they?
2:49am * [Gtz]Kleine 's head snaps back into gear, and recalls Hilde's question
2:50am <[Gtz]Kleine> Features! features, oh, of course. It has a great many, Red, if you'll assist me in explaining...
2:52am * [Gtz]Kleine pulls out a large, long metallic crate
2:52am * [Atai]Redundancy has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
2:53am * [kiri]Ikaruga yawn
2:53am <[Gtz]Kleine> The uniforms as they are now aren't powered, so they couldn't come back if you left in them like this.
2:53am * Klaymen has joined #maidrpg
2:54am * [Atai]Redundancy has joined #maidrpg
2:59am <[Gtz]Kleine> That's why I invented these!
3:00am * [Gtz]Kleine pulls out two crystal discs that are scooped out on one side, objects which can only be described as "pads"
3:01am <[kiri]Ikaruga> !
3:03am <[Gtz]Kleine> These units go over the chest area right here and supply a great power to the suit while protecting the wearer from assailments to the front. The globes form their own little infinity symbol and the energy between them allows you to come back from your destination.
3:05am <[kiri]Ikaruga> I'll have to say it's a very, very poor choice in design.
3:06am <[Mode]Maya> That's a little... improper, don't you think?
3:07am <[Atai]Redundancy> Not so. They are filled with an energizable compound of jellied Leptocarfinine fuel cells and reactive-synaptic nano-silk dispersive threading. Thus, in one device you have indeed the means of motivation and protection. They are smartlinked to bio-monitors within the uniform that react to your surroundings and your body's condition. In combat situations, they harden and provide greater...
3:07am <[Atai]Redundancy> ...protection than this hull plating.
3:08am * [Atai]Redundancy knocks on the wall.
3:09am <[Gtz]Kleine> Precisely! It's the only choice in design! Despite how lewd you may feel it to be, centered on the chest is the only place it can reach throughout your magnetic field on an even level. Too much in one area could cause problems, so it must be equally, or as close to equally as we can get, be centered on your field of gravity and magnetism.
3:09am * [kiri]Ikaruga facepalmed.
3:09am <[Pyg]Hilde> It wouldn't have hurt to ask for my input regard these...
3:10am <[Pyg]Hilde> But if I must, it can't be helped I suppose.
3:10am * [kiri]Ikaruga has left #maidrpg
3:10am <[Atai]Redundancy> After all, I understand that humans as a species lack multiple backup organs, and that your cardiovascular organ is most essential. This ensures maximum safety in numerous dangerous situations.
3:12am <[Gtz]Kleine> Ah, yes. One additional advantage to having them centered on the chest is the fact that they're near indestructible through usual means. It can stop a bullet dead in its tracks.
3:14am <[Pyg]Hilde> I suppose that isn't too bad.
3:14am * [Pyg]Hilde subconsciously places a hand on the handle of one of her revolvers.
3:15am * [Mode]Maya looks at the pads, then to her chest, then away.
3:15am <[Mode]Maya> Well, if they're that good I guess it can't be helped.
3:19am <[Gtz]Kleine> *ahem* um, yes, Alright, I'll need you all to write down your measurements so that I can equip you with a properly fitting uniform and power modules. Just... pass this around, if you would. Don't forget to sign your name!
3:19am <[Mode]Maya> Measurements?
3:20am * [Gtz]Kleine hands Red a clipboard
3:20am <[Atai]Redundancy> Due to the flower and petal-like arrangement of the primary power distribution threads within these pads, we refer to these as your "Sixteen Blossoms"; eight on each pad.
3:20am <[Atai]Redundancy> ...Doc, I am fairly certain you already have mine.
3:21am * [Atai]Redundancy takes the clipboard and passes it along.
3:22am <[Atai]Redundancy> While his motives sound rather suspect --or so I am told-- it is nevertheless true that you fill in these forms.
3:23am * [Gtz]Kleine pretends not to hear Red's comments, fooling around with something inside the case
3:23am <[Atai]Redundancy> Absolute honesty is required. False information for the sake of preservation of personal details or modesty will  lead to nothing but a greatly increased chance of equipment malfunction or failure.
3:24am <[Mode]Maya> What if I don't know these 'measurements"?
3:24am <[Gtz]Kleine> Then I'll have Red take your measurements.
3:25am <[Atai]Redundancy> There is a tailor in the West wing's third deck. Arrangements for an appointment can be made quite easily.
3:25am <[Atai]Redundancy> (um.)
3:25am <[Pyg]Hilde> I guess it's okay if it's Miss Redundancy...
3:25am <[Gtz]Kleine> Do you not know your measurements either, miss Hilda?
3:25am <[Atai]Redundancy> (Tailor done been retconned.)
3:26am <[Gtz]Kleine> [yorb]
3:26am <[Gtz]Kleine> [also retcon Hilde's last line]
3:28am * [Pyg]Hilde takes the clipboard and hastily fills the space with her proper size, despite the pinkness rising in her face.
3:32am * [Gtz]Kleine smiles contently. Ah, women are so much more fun to pursue than the mysteries of the universe!
3:36am * [Atai]Redundancy passes out similar clipboards to the other maids as well while Hilde fills hers in.
3:38am * [Mode]Maya looks blankly at the clipboard.
3:38am <[Mode]Maya> So...
3:38am <[Mode]Maya> Uh...
3:38am <[Gtz]Kleine> When was your last physical, Maya?
3:40am * Klaymen has quit IRC (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.83 [Firefox 3.0.4/2008102920])
3:42am <[Mode]Maya> Physical? Hmm...
3:42am <[Mode]Maya> I can't remember.
3:44am <[Gtz]Kleine> Well, fortunately, Red's skilled in that area as well! Maya, if you would please accompany Red to the clinic so she can be sure you are physically fit, I'm going to go hunt down those two girls that went missing.
3:45am <[Mode]Maya> Oh, okay then, I guess.
3:46am <[Atai]Redundancy> One can certainly be arranged. I have had seventy-four years of medical training, twelve of them here, so I believe I am somewhat familiar with human physiology. Follow me if you would, Miss Maya.
3:46am <[Gtz]Kleine> Hilda, unless you have other matters to attend to, I recommend you also go with her.
3:46am <[Pyg]Hilde> Very well, Herr Doktor.
3:47am <[Gtz]Kleine> Unfortunately when you arrived I was unable to undergo a full examination due to pressing circumstances. Don't fret, you're in good hands.
3:47am * [Pyg]Hilde bows.
3:48am <[Gtz]Kleine> Once you're done, come on down to the dining area for some lunch. Red knows the way, so follow her instruction.
3:49am <[Gtz]Kleine> I'll see you there, bye.
3:50am * [Gtz]Kleine goes around machine and goes down the opposing staircase, and out of sight.
3:50am <[Mode]Maya> Well, guess I'm in your hands then.
3:50am * [Mode]Maya gives Red a slight nod.
3:50am <[Mode]Maya> Lead the way?
3:50am <[Atai]Redundancy> Indeed you are.
3:51am * [Pyg]Hilde follows after Redundancy and Maya.
3:51am * [Atai]Redundancy exits the room with Maya and Hilde in tow