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- A request from Noogai.
- [17/03/2014 17:53:38] Nebulus: Heh...
- [17/03/2014 17:53:44] Nebulus: Would you like me to write a story for you, Noogie?
- [17/03/2014 17:53:53] Nebulus: Go on. Pick a pony and a scenario.
- [17/03/2014 17:54:07] Noogai13: Luna
- [17/03/2014 17:54:07] Noogai13: Amuse me
- Look at him; bossing me around.
- What a prick.
- I love the guy, really.
- ---
- This story has now been voice-acted!
- Wuten and his gang of merry men decided that out of all the quality works of fiction that exist, THIS story--
- THIS. STORY.
- Is worth the effort of a full voice-cast and special effects and all that good stuff.
- I'll never understand why, considering I recall spending about 40 minutes writing this and didn't even proof-read it. It was a birthday gift for a Slovenian guy I'd only just met, it's not Shakespeare.
- Still, the effort put into the voice acting was extraordinary and I was genuinely touched that Wuten chose my story to be acted out.
- You can find the narration here:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vT793Svq_eE
- Be sure to subscribe to Wuten for more horse-fiction voice-action.
- ---
- >Wake up in the middle of the night.
- >Sniff.
- >What smells like burning?
- >Walk downstairs as you pull on your dressing gown.
- >When you enter your rather small kitchen you see a large blue figure stood at your stove.
- >"...ly me to the moon~..."
- "What."
- >Princess Luna turns around and grins at you.
- >"Ah! Good evening, Anonymous!"
- "What."
- >"I have procured and created some pasta!"
- "What."
- >"Would you care to sample some? I think I have done a marvellous job with it!"
- >She points a hoof at the pot of black horror on your stove.
- >Wisps of black smoke rise from it.
- >Looking to the left, you see an empty box of matches on the counter.
- >Half of them are broken and strewn out all over the surface.
- >"The colour indicates flavour!"
- >A large glob of what you assume is the blood of an ancient and hateful god is levitated out of the pot and into Luna's mouth.
- >She makes a great effort to chew on it.
- >Still smiling, the pony swallows it all.
- >Then has a short, but violent spasm.
- >Once she settles, she gives you an innocent little giggle.
- >"Delicious, care to have some?"
- >She dips a spoon into the pot and scoops out some 'pasta'.
- >The spoon is evidently melting in places.
- >Luna takes a step forward.
- >You take 3 back.
- "Now listen here, horse. You keep that shit as far away from me as possible."
- >Luna pouts.
- >"But I have been studying the traditional art of romantic cookery! I have mastered everything there is to know about love and food!"
- >Your eyes dart between the unholy mixture on the spoon and Luna's hopeful face.
- "What -kind- of food?"
- >"Romantic food! Now eat up, Anonymous!"
- >She pushes the spoon forward.
- >Your nostrils are filled with the stench of 10 dead animals.
- "N-no, Luna; please go."
- >"No, I shall not! I have worked hard on this and I shall not leave until you eat it!"
- "Luna, I don't think you get it. If I eat that I will actually -die-."
- 1/?
- >She sighs.
- >"Do you truly mean that?"
- "Yes."
- >The princess hits you with the most watery eyes she can muster.
- >"D-do you really mean it?"
- "Don't stutter. It doesn't suit you. ...Also yes, I'm serious."
- >Luna lets out a frustrated sigh and tosses the spoon into the pan again.
- >"Then what are we supposed to do for our four day anniversary?"
- "Four day anniversary what."
- >"We have been an item for four days! It is surely a sign of wonderful times to come!"
- >Your mind goes into automatic damage control.
- >So much so that a tiny version of you with a squeaky voice shows up on your shoulder.
- >"Hey man, Regret here."
- "Oh, hey Regret. Long time no see."
- >Luna looks at you, puzzled.
- >"Listen, man; remember that party you went to four days back?"
- "What, at the castle?"
- >"Yeah, that one. Remember hooking up with anyone?"
- >Stroke your chin thoughtfully.
- >Luna opens her mouth to say something, but shuts it again.
- "Oh god."
- >"You stuck your dick in crazy, son."
- "Well shit, what am I supposed to do now?"
- >"I dunno. Just don't bring up sex. The food is bad enough so I'd hate to see what would happen if you gave her the idea to have celebratory sex."
- "Hah, yeah, sex with her would be nuts."
- >...
- >"You said that out loud you fucking idiot."
- >Glance back at Luna.
- >Her smile is terrifying.
- >"Sexual intercourse! It was so obvious!"
- >Regret-Anon puts on a Great War helmet and salutes you.
- >"It was an honour, boss."
- >He disappears in a puff of bad past decisions and leaves you alone against the already approaching mare.
- "Now listen, Luna, what happened a few days ago; I was drunk, you were drunk--"
- >"I was completely sober!"
- "...I was drunk, you were sober, it was all a big mistake, right?"
- >Luna presses you against a wall and rears up on her hind legs, coming up to eye level with you and placing a hoof on either side of your body to support herself as she glares right into your eyes.
- >"It was the single most intimate night of my life."
- 2/?
- "...Right, see, that's not good. You need to start dating-- ohgodwhatareyoudoing--"
- >Luna is nibbling on your neck, her tongue probing your skin and leaving a trail of saliva.
- >"You and I never did finish that night, Anonymous~"
- >How the hell could this get any worse.
- >"In fact, I was hoping that that night would last forever... So I just thought: Why not?"
- "What."
- >"Our lovemaking will be legendary, Anonymous. And it will never end so long as the moon stays in the sky."
- >Her body starts glowing, and you can't move because of how hot her she suddenly is.
- >She's also very temperate.
- >Ho boy.
- >Stare in horror as her form grows slightly, shifting colours and altering itself.
- >Once the light fades, you peer into the eyes of a changed mare.
- >Lizard-eyes gaze back at you.
- >A mouth full of fangs grins.
- >Your body is pressed up against a coat as black as the void it represents.
- >Luna leans closer and whispers into your ear.
- >"This night shall last forever~"
- >She bares her fangs again.
- >Imagine them around your di--
- "FUUUCK THAT."
- >Shove her off you and sprint towards the front door.
- >Rip open the lock and run outside, arms pumping at your sides, willing yourself to go faster.
- >A dark blue cloud effortlessly hovers alongside you.
- >"Where are you going, lover?"
- >Turn a sudden corner and attempt to lose her in the park.
- >She remains by your side.
- >"There's nowhere to go."
- >A glance to the side shows the cloud sporting eyes with mischievous intent and a set of horribly sharp fangs.
- >She gnashes them together then winks playfully.
- >Try not to whimper as you think of a plan.
- >Point off to the side.
- "It's Celestia! She's come to stop you!"
- >"What?!"
- >Veer off from the path and sprint over the grass, getting further away from Ponyville with each second.
- >Look over your shoulder.
- "Pffft. I can't believe that even worked."
- >"What worked, lover?"
- "LEAVE ME ALONE, LUNA."
- 3/?
- >"There is no Luna! Only Nightmare Moon. And Nightmare wants her Moon to be filled with your... Space... Seed?"
- >Grind to a halt.
- >Put your hands on your hips and give the floating cloud a disapproving look.
- "Really?"
- >"Uhh... Just a second, I'm out of practice for evil puns."
- >A few seconds tick by.
- >"I want you to... Cum inside... Me? Evilly?"
- >Sigh and shake your head.
- "It's good enough, I suppose."
- >Before you can set off running again, Nightmare Moon reverts back to her pony form.
- >"Enough running, it is time for your pun-ishment!"
- "OOoooh... That was terrible..."
- >You don't even fight as the mare pushes you to the ground and gets on top of you.
- >"Do you worship my moon, Anonymous?"
- >She starts grinding herself on you, her dampness already soaking through your boxers.
- >"Will you grant me my perfect night?"
- "Even if I do you won't leave me alone."
- >"You're right; I won't."
- "Please get off me."
- >"No."
- "What if I asked nicely?"
- >"You just did. I'm going to get my prize from you, Anonymous. You had the audacity to only make me cum five times when we slept together!"
- "The fuck? And that wasn't good enough?"
- >The pony smushes your cheeks together with her front hooves and presses her nose against yours, her eyes boring into yours.
- >"You left me moaning on my bed covered in your seed and breathless. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a princess to find a sexual partner as good as you?"
- "...V-very?"
- >She smushes your face harder and narrows her eyes.
- >"Very."
- >The pressure is released from your cheeks and she raises her head.
- >"Now. Here is how this is going to happen."
- >Her horn lights up.
- >A scroll is conjured.
- >As well as a... Pony?
- >"Anonymous, this is Yates; my personal assistant."
- >The pony, sporting a grand moustache and spectacles, nods.
- >"Good evening, sir."
- >"Mmmyes. He shall be watching us fornicate and shall document the entire experience."
- >"Very good, princess."
- 4/?
- >Nightmare Moon clears her throat.
- >"Now, the sex shall begin with a thorough rutting, followed by a four minute cuddle where we shall enjoy each others warmth and talk about our feelings for each other."
- >Yates fervently gets all this down.
- "Great; you've turned into Twilight."
- >"Shush. Next we shall attempt the venerated 'anal sex' that so many ponies are dreaming about nowadays. I trust you are up to the task, Anonymous?"
- >She doesn't wait for an answer.
- >"No matter. Not like you have a choice."
- >"If I may, your majesty, I like your new choice of look."
- >"Thank you, Yates. Next-- Anonymous are you listening?"
- "I stopped caring when you entered my life."
- >Nightmare Moon bares her fangs at you.
- >"Well then, I suppose a bout of oral sex is in order after the anal sex. Anonymous shall hereby lick whatever mess he leaves inside my rectum with his tongue as punishment for his attitude."
- "Why do you hate me?"
- >"Once the oral sex is complete, I shall suckle upon Anonymous' member with my very own mouth!"
- >"Very good, your highness."
- "Not with those fangs you're not, darling."
- >"Anonymous you don't have a choice; stop complaining."
- "What if I screamed really loud?"
- >"If I may, sir, her highness enjoys a good struggle."
- "You're not helping, Yates."
- >"Apologies, sir."
- >"Enough, both of you! After all these acts are completed, we shall do them all again! Perhaps in random order."
- "I literally don't have enough stamina to do all of that."
- >"Should you fail to please me, I shall kill you."
- "...WHY."
- >"Because... Ahhuhh... Yates?"
- >"Because fear of death is a wonderful motivator, your highness."
- >"Fantastic! Yes, I shall threaten to kill you."
- "...But you won't actually do it."
- >"Well no, how can we have sexual congress if you're dead?"
- "I dunno, I thought you'd be into that kind of thing."
- >Nightmare Moon stares at you.
- >Then looks at Yates.
- >He raises an eyebrow at her and motions to his quill.
- 5/?
- >"Yates! Once the oral sex is complete we shall kill Anonymous and fornicate with his corpse!"
- "Fucks SAKE!"
- >"Shush."
- "Don't shush me!"
- >"Shhhush."
- "You're the worst princess ever."
- >"Actually, sir, recent polls have shown that Princess Twilight Sparkle is technically the worst princess."
- >You nod in agreement.
- "Yeah, she's pretty terrible."
- >Nightmare Moon does as well.
- >"Awful pony, that Sparkle."
- "Can you please get off me now?"
- >"No! Anonymous, I'm going to rape you. And it will be beautiful."
- "But why though? This is literally the most stupid thing you've ever done. You even dressed up in some kind of spooky costume to do it in. I feel like I'm being raped by a clown."
- >Nightmare sputters in shock.
- >"B-but I-- I am Nightmare Moon! This is the form that inspired fear into the hearts of foals all across Equestria for centuries!"
- "So yeah, like a clown."
- >She fumes at you.
- >"If you are unwilling to cooperate, I shall kill you!"
- "Weren't you going to do that anywa--"
- >"SILENCE! Yates, what was the last thing I was going to do?"
- >"Ahh... Just a second... Here-- Kill him and have sexual relations with the body, your highness."
- >"DOUBLE IT!"
- "What."
- >"I want him dead TWICE! Then I shall sex up the corpse twice!"
- "This whole thing has taken a really weird turn, man."
- >"SHUT UP, ANONYMOUS."
- "Hey, you're the one that wants to fuck a dead body. I call 'em how I see 'em. That shit's weird."
- >Nightmare Moon gives you a glare so fierce you almost feel fear.
- >"I will hurt you in ways you cannot even imagine, Anonymous. I swear on my sister's life."
- "More power to you then, I always hated Celestia."
- >"As do I!"
- "She just waltzes about, bossing everyone around."
- >"I-Indeed!"
- "'Oh look at me! My wings are so pretty!'"
- >...
- >Nightmare Moon gigglesnorts.
- >Yates lets out a quiet "dohoho".
- 6/?
- >The mare on top of you taps her front hooves together then quietly says:
- >"I personally never liked Princess Cadence."
- "Oh my god, I know, right? What the fuck -is- that pony? Princess of love, are you fucking kidding me?"
- >Nightmare Moon laughs.
- >She's silent for a while, then looks at Yates.
- >"Yates, who do you hate?"
- >"Shining Armour, your highness. He constantly looks as though he was just dragged out of bed and is an embarrassment to the royal guard."
- "Hey, he knows his shit, this Yates."
- >"Thank you, sir!"
- >The night drags on in this way.
- >You, Nightmare Moon and her classy assistant gossip about ponies you all hate.
- >The entire time, Nightmare is sat on you.
- >After a while, you get comfortable in that position.
- >Laughter and drinking soon reigns on the grassy hill you're all on.
- >Bottles of quality booze litter the ground.
- >You're pretty drunk, as is Nightmare Moon.
- >Yates has downed more booze than the pair of you put together, but he's still completely sober.
- "Y-yates... Man, how are you still standing?"
- >"It isn't my job to get drunk, sir."
- "Wooah. That's hardcore."
- >Nightmare Moon prods your face with a hoof.
- >"Heeey, Anonymous."
- "Whut."
- >"We should have sex on this hill."
- >Your eyes widen.
- "Thass a great idea! Ey yo, Yates, you want in on this?"
- >"It would be a pleasure, sir."
- >Just over a week later.
- >Wake up in the middle of the night.
- >Sniff.
- >What smells like burning?
- >Walk downstairs as you pull on your dressing gown.
- >As you enter your rather small kitchen you see a large blue figure stood at your stove.
- >"Greetings! It is our two week anniversary!"
- "OH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT NOT AGAIN."
- 7/7
- The End.
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