Anon: Vampony Hunter! The Mango Who Would be King (2/2)

(Note: this chapter contains a small bit of NSFW humor concerning toys of an "adult" nature. You have been warned.)

>Day Death to the Mango King in Equestria

>You are Carnelian. Batpony, mare on the run, and possibly the last free pony in Ponyville!
>Currently you are standing before ponies that used to be your friends.
>Now they are slaves to the most vile creature you have ever known.
>The Mango King!
>As you eye the approaching mob you desperately search for an escape route.
>You feel like you’ve been running forever.
>Was it really just two days ago that this all started?
>Maybe if you had just agreed with Discord none of this…
>“Nel. Nel! Neeeeeeeeelyyyyyyyyyy!” a voice hisses next to you.
>You look over towards an empty grocery stall.
>A pink hoof is waving towards you.
>Pinkie?
>It could be a trap, but you don’t have a lot of options; you dash over to the stall.
>It’s Pinkie alright.
>More to the point, she doesn’t have the glassy-eyed stare of a pony that belongs to ‘him’.
>“Oh, Nel I’m so glad you’re ok! C’mon we gotta book!”
>She lifts up a crate and beneath is a hole in the ground.
>Recognizing it as a tunnel left over from that thieving diamond-dog pup a few months back you quickly scramble inside.
>Pinkie follows right behind and carefully slides the crate back over the entrance.
>In near total darkness the pink mare puts a hoof on your shoulder.
>“I’m gonna have you guide me since I can’t see in the dark, OK?”
>You drape a wing over your companion so she can use all four of her hooves, then head down the tunnel together.
>A few minutes of brisk walking and you begin to feel a little safer.
“I thought all these tunnels had been filled in?”
>“Nah, I kept a few of them. You know, in case of friends-being-turned-into-mindless-slaves-of-an-evil-mango-and-trying-to-make-you-one-of-them emergencies.”
“Uh, I- I guess that makes sense.”
>Wait a minute.
“Pinkie, I saw him get you! I saw you drink some of his juice. Why aren’t you under his control?”
>The mare next to you giggles, “Silly, it’s like I told Discord. Cherries are better than mangoes.”
>You pause.
>That’s it?
>Then again, this is Pinkie Pie you’re dealing with.
>You began moving again.
>“So, what have you been doing all this time?” the pink mare asks.
You sigh, “After Anon got taken I tried to fly to Canterlot and get help, but then this magical dome sprang up and I couldn’t get out of Ponyville.”
>“Yup, that’d be Twilight. She’s super good at making things like that. Runs in the family, I think.”
“Well since then I’ve been trying to hide and figure out a way to stop the Mango King. But he’s got a ton of ponies around him and it seems like you can’t hurt him no matter what you do to him!”
>“Yeah, I mean a couple of the guards managed to cut him up a bit but he just kept on going.” Pinkie agrees. “Oh, I know! I’ll bet you have to attack his core somehow. You know, where all his seeds are? I bet that’d stop that nasty old mango!”
“Maybe,” you agree, “but the problem is getting to him. All the ponies in Ponyville are protecting him.”
>“Weeeell, I don’t think it would be that hard. I mean, sure, everypony is under his control. But they also act like they’re drunk or something. Would you want drunk ponies guarding you?”
>Pinkie’s words take a moment to sink in.
>You’ve been so desperate to get away from anypony that was under the Mango King’s influence that you haven’t really stopped to think about their condition.
>If they act like they’re drunk then maybe…?
>You’ve got to test this out.
“Pinkie, we gotta get to the surface.”
>“Okey-dokey. Turn left up here.”
>You turn at the next junction.
>Wait, if she’s depending on your night vision to see then how did she-?
>You don’t even want to think about it.
…
>Standing behind a house, you wait for a pony to pass by on the street.
>You really hope this will work.
>Two mares come into sight.
>Well, here goes nothing.
>You put on a confident look and step out into the street in front of your test subjects.
“You there! Where are you headed?”
>The two mares give each other looks of bleary confusion.
>“We were on our way to get some ice for the Mango King?” one of them says hesitantly.
“I see. Well you also need to get him a bottle of pepper sauce. Take it to the kitchens after you deliver the ice, got it?” You give them your best glare.
>“Ye- yes ma’am.” they both stumble off to carry out your orders.
“Well I’ll be a darned sock.” you mutter. “It actually worked.”
>You hurry back to the alley way.
>“Well? How’d it go?” chirps Pinkie.
>You grin at your friend.
“I think I know how we can get to the Mango King. Pinkie, can you get me some fireworks?”
…
>You’ve managed to put together a pretty decent plan.
>Commanding some of the guards to give you status updates on His Most Noble Highness’ defenses, you’ve discovered that Princess Sparkle is devoting all of her energy to maintaining the shield around Ponyville.
>At least you won’t have to contend with her.
>The rest of the ponies are either going about their normal business or busy bringing ice to the Mango King.
>Seriously, what is he going to do with all that ice?
>Nothing good, you’d wager.
>After gathering a couple of supplies from home you put together a disguise with Pinkies help.
>Now you sit inside a box that is decorated like a giant present and Pinkie Pie is hauling you towards City Hall where the Mango King has set up shop.
>You listen with a small grin as Pinkie announces your box as an official present for His Noble Sweetness the King of Mangoes.
>After she has the guard sign for it he just stands there, glassy eyed.
>“Well?” grouses Pinkie, “Deliver it to the king, silly! Chop, chop!”
>The guard gives a start and hitches himself to your wagon.
>He hauls you right up into City Hall thanks to a ramp that the Mango King’s slaves built for him; you assume because he doesn’t have legs.
>The cart stops and the guard clears his throat.
>You peek out through a small hole in the cardboard and paper.
>There he is: the Mango King!
>He’s up on the auditorium stage in what looks like a jacuzzi with three ponies tending to him.
>You recognize them as Lily, Daisy, and Roseluck.
>Figures he’d choose those poor mares to serve him.
>Standing in front of the stage is a figure that you’d recognize anywhere.
>Anon!
>Seeing your dearest friend standing watch over that monster almost makes you choke up.
>But it also reminds you of what you have to do.
>You crouch down and get ‘His Majesty’s’ real present ready as a slobbery voice calls out from the platform.
>“What is this?” the bloated produce demands.
>“It’s- uh- a present. For you- uh- your highness.” the guard manages to get out.
>“A present?” the foul fruit sounds pleased. “Well? Open it!”
>That’s your cue.
>You light the fire bomb in your hooves and knock the lid off of your hiding place.
“Rot in pieces!” you shout as you hurl the flaming bottle of alcohol towards your nemesis.
>Everything seems to slow down as you watch the flaming concoction fly towards its target.
>Just as it reaches the stage you hear a raspy voice cry out.
>“Noooooo!” a prismatic streak rushes past your fire bomb.
>Rainbow Dash?
>When the bottle reaches the Mango King it is no longer lit and breaks harmlessly against the jacuzzi.
>Before you can move, a pair of strong hooves has you in an expert hold.
>“Heh.” Rainbow gasps in your ear. “Vacuum-vortex. Best way to put out a fire.”
“Dash! Let me go, that thing is evil!”
>Rainbow whines a bit.
>“I-I know he is. But you don’t understand. He’s SO sweet. Even sweeter than apple cider! I’m so sorry.”
>A few minutes later you stand before the malevolent mango.
>Anon himself has your wings pinned behind you.
>You try to get his attention but he refuses to look at you.
>“So,” the vile fruit blubbers from his tub. “You thought to make me a roast mango, eh? Well, I think I will make an example out of you! Bring out ‘Big Ben’.”
>Two of the guards scurry off.
>“You know, I’ve been doing some reading these past few days. The history of King Sombra in particular. Did you know he had a special way of dealing with troublesome ponies?” the malevolent mango asks. “Especially mares?”
>Just then the two guards haul in a small wagon with a strange sculpture sitting on it.
>It’s a large pink cylinder with a tapered, bulbous head that looks as though it’s made out of rubber.
>It almost looks like a comically oversized…
>No.
>That can’t be what you think it is.
>This perverted produce can’t possibly be thinking-?
>“Ho, ho, ho.” he chortles. “King Sombra found that humiliating his subject sexually was the surest way to break them.  That is to be your fate! Guards, bring ‘Big Ben’ over to the stage and prepare the prisoner!”
>You start to thrash around but Anon holds you tight.
“Anon,” you plead, “you can’t let them do this to me!”
>“I know…” he slurs. “But he’s so sweet.”
“Yes, he’s sweet, but I’m your friend. Would you let a vampire control you like this?”
>As soon as he hears the word ‘vampire’ Anon stiffens.
>You can see the fire return to his eyes.
>“No.” his voice is noticeably clearer. “I wouldn’t.”
>His grip on your wings slackens.
>You look up at the ceiling.
“Pinkie, plan B now!” you yell.
>“Okey-dokey-lokey!” a voice echoes from the rafters.
>You close your eyes as you hear a bunch of fireworks flash and pop overhead.
>When you open your eyes all the ponies in the auditorium look stunned from the party mare’s pyrotechnics.
>You slip out of Anon’s grasp and reach over towards his scabbard, drawing out his sword with your mouth.
>Tossing the weapon up in the air, you deftly catch the handle with your right wing.
>The fruity tyrant bellows to his minions.
>“Get that pony! Stop her!”
>You look up at Anon.
>He still looks torn.
“Anon.” you command in a firm voice. “Go stop the guards from coming up on stage.”
>He nods slowly, then grins and dashes towards the platform stairs.
>As you turn and stalk towards the Mango King, Rainbow Dash alights between you and your target.
>“I, uh, I gotta, uh, stop you and-”
>“Look out below!” a pink bombshell lands squarely on top of Rainbow Dash and the stage floor gives way beneath them with a resounding crash!
“Well that’s one way to take out the opposition. Thanks Pinkie Pie.” you mutter.
>You level Anon’s sword at your foe.
“Prepare to die Mango King!”
>The evil tyrant roars at your challenge and smashes his way out of the jacuzzi, sending water and his attendants scattering.
>He stalks towards you and you circle him warily.
>You snake in quickly and deliver a shallow cut along his lower half.
>Roaring in pain he lashes out with his mighty arms.
>Without his scepter the tyrant's reach is severely reduced and you are able to dodge out of the way.
>Feeling more confident, you move in like a cat playing with its food.
>Dodge in.
>Strike.
>Dodge out.
>You’re slicing and dicing the heinous fruit’s skin almost to ribbons.
>So why isn’t he slowing down or weakening?
>You dash in for another cut, but are just a little too slow with your retreat.
>The Mango King brings down his massive fists like twin hammers.
>You manage to dodge out of the way but the blow shatters the stage sending you staggering.
>Before you can get up the fruity fiend has you in his gooey grip.
>“Now you will pay pony- Ow!”
>He smacks you in the face as you bite into the hand that was holding on to you.
>When he loses his grip you stagger back.
>Gasping in horror you see the oozing wound on the Mango King's hand where you've bitten him.
>As you smack your mouth the fruity sweetness on your tongue threatens to overwhelm you.
>“Ho, ho, ho. You thought you escaped?” he gloats. “Soon you will be mine, just like every other pony!”
>You wipe your mouth, your vision is swimming.
>You can still taste his diabolical juice as the salty tang of your own blood mixes in your mouth.
>Wait, blood?
>You reach up with a hoof to find that you have a split lip from where the tyrant hit you in the muzzle.
>Sucking hard on your lip, the metallic taste of blood soon overwhelms the Mango King’s sweetness.
>Your vision starts to clear and you no longer feel as though you’re going to pass out.
>The fell fruit continues to chortle at your predicament until your eyes snap open and you give him a glare.
>“What?” he cries. “How can you..? My juice? My sweetness?”
>You stalk towards the confused monarch and he begins to slowly retreat from you.
>With a sudden sprint you charge the Mango King and stab your sword deep in his flesh.
>He staggers and starts rolling about on the floor.
>You look around for another weapon.
>Up on the wall is a decorative shield with two broad swords.
>Perfect.
>You fly as fast as you can and wrench one of the blades off the wall.
>Holding it over your head you plunge like a comet towards your enemy.
>“Augh!” he gurgles as you stab the second weapon into his pulpy hide.
>You stand there, panting.
>Surely that was enough to kill him?
>The fruity abomination rolls over and reaches his hand out towards you.
>“How?” he whimpers. “How could you resist my sweetness?”
>You stare at the broken blob before you.
You walk over to him and wheeze, “It’s like I told Discord.”
“I.”
“Don’t.”
“Like.”
“Mangoes!”
>You spin around and give the noxious nightmare a swift ‘mule’ kick that sends him plummeting off the edge of the stage.
>A loud squelch sounds in your ears.
>You wearily look over the edge of the stage, and the sight that greets you almost makes you laugh out loud.
>There, on the ground, lies the dreadful Mango King.
>And he is almost completely impaled on ‘Big Ben’.
>Everyone in the hall gathers around the fallen fruit.
>“Wow.” mutters Anon, “Hoist on his own petard.”
>Roseluck snickers next to him, “Gee, is that what you humans call them?”
>Suddenly Pinkie appears from the rubble of the stage with a sign board in her hooves.
>“Ahhhh!” she cries as she lodges the piece of wood in the giant mango’s corpse.
“Pinkie!” you yell, “That’s enough! He’s defeated.”
>“Oh.” she instantly drops her war face and looks down at the mango.
>“Gosh, he looks rough! Hey, I thought ‘plan B’ was to use my fireworks as a distraction so you could make a quick getaway?”
“Well, that was my plan but, um…”
>A hand pats you on your shoulder.
>You look up to see Anon with a proud smile on his face.
>“That’s my girl.” he nods.
>Jumping up, you give your friend a tremendous hug.
>You sob into Anon’s shoulder for a while, happy that it is all over.
>Then Pinkie quips, “Hey, what’s Big Ben doing here?”
>You look down to see Pinkie Pie poking at the implement that until just recently was meant for you.
>“Aww! Do you know how long it’s gonna to take for me to clean this? Wait, does that mean he broke into my room? I better-” She looks up and suddenly remembers where she is and who's listening to her. “Oh.”
>“I’ll, um, just, um, go… Dig out Rainbow Dash. Yah! That’s what I’ll do!”  She quickly turns and tunnels back into the rubble of the stage.
>As you shake your head and try to decide what it will take to get Pinkie’s words out of your brain you hear a flapping of wings.
>Princess Sparkle enters through a window and lands next to you.
>“I suddenly got free of the cravings and dropped my shield. I can see that the Mango King is -ugh- defeated.” she looks a little queasy at the sight. “Good job, everypony.”
>“Actually, this one was all Carnelian.” Anon states.
>“Really?” the Princess stares at you. “I can see mango juice on you snout. How did you resist his control?”
“It was the blood!” you blurt out. “I mean, I’m a blood drinker. If I was a fruit bat I’m sure his juice would have knocked me out cold.”
>“Well, hooray for blood drinkers, I suppose.” the Princess smirks. “Now for the rest of-“
>A bright flash of light interrupts Her Highness as Discord appears.
>“Oh it’s wonderful to be awake! That’s the last time I ever pour that much of my magic into any one thing.  Can you believe that ungrateful fruit was able to keep me aslee- Good Heavens!” he turns and looks down at his creation in shock.
>“What did you all do to my poor mango?” Surprisingly, the Spirit of Chaos looks a little ill.
>You, however, are furious.
>All of this is the fault of the irresponsible creature in front of you.
>Without a care for how powerful he may be, you fly up to the draconequus and grab him by the scruff of his neck.
“I did that, you jerk! And if you ever do something so stupid again I will make THAT,” you point to the mango on the ground, “look like foal’s play compared to what I will do to YOU. Do you understand me?!”
>As you stare into his beady red eyes he gulps.
>“Yes ma’am.”
“Good.” You turn him loose and walk over to the fruity corpse.
>You pull Anon’s sword from the pile of pulp and return it to its owner.
>Your friend gingerly takes it and starts to wipe it off with the corner of his coat.
>“I think I shall dub thee ‘Mango Slayer’.” he mutters to the blade as he gives you a sly grin.
>You roll your eyes but smile in return.
>If Anon is making stupid jokes than everything must be back to normal.
>You decide to leave the mess to the rest of the ponies and Discord and head outside.
>“Well, killer.” Anon snarks, “I’d say you’ve had a pretty full day. Defeating the Mango King singlehanded -er- singlehoofedly. Saving all of Ponyville, including the Princess. I’d say you deserve a medal!”
>You are about to tell Anon to knock it off when a voice booms from above.
>“Indeed! We are most inclined to agree!”
>A dusky figure touches down in front of you both.
>Princess Luna!
>Other pegasi land around her and hurry off to tend to the town.
>“My sister is seeing to her protégé inside. So you are the pony who defeated that foul abomination that Discord foolishly created.” It’s not a question.
>You can’t speak. You can only stare in awe at the pony before you.
>“Pardon me, Princess,” asks Anon, “but how do you know about the Mango King and everything?”
>“Very few pieces of information are denied one who can enter dreams, Anon. Even with Princess Twilight’s shield, we were able to keep abreast of the situation.”
>The Princess of the Night turns back towards you.
>“Little pony, you have shown courage befitting your ancestors. It pleases me greatly that the blood of those who smote Equestria’s enemies in ages past still flows today.”
>Princess Luna gives you a smile that is as gentle as the moon and more brilliant than the sun.
>In this moment you feel as though you could do anything.
>Anything at all.
>Then the moment passes and the Princess looks up.
>“I suppose we should join our sister. I’m sure she’ll want our opinion on matters. We shall speak again later. I am most interested to hear of your exploits here in Ponyville.”
>She begins to trot away, then pauses and glances over her shoulder.
>“Oh, and if you ever do feel like kicking Discord’s flank let me know. I shall gladly join you!”
>With a laugh she turns and heads towards City Hall.
“Was she… was she serious?” you ask Anon.
>“From what I know of Princess Luna, probably.”
>You both head back to your house.
>After a good stretch of silence Anon pipes up.
>“Um, not to be a downer or anything after that awesome speech by the Princess, but do you know why the Mango King kept having ponies bring him ice?”
“No, I assumed he was going to do something evil with it.”
>“Not exactly. He was spoiling.”
“What?” you aren’t sure you heard that right.
>“He was slowly going rotten. I guess Discord’s magic wasn’t designed to keep him fresh.”
“So that tub that he was resting in was filled with ice?”
>“Well, cold water. He wanted to stay cool, not freeze.”
>You continue to walk along, not sure if you want to say what you’re currently thinking.
“So if I had just continued to hide…?” you finally ask.
>“In another day or two he would have rotted and probably died anyway.”
>Your laughter starts off low; just a small giggle.
>Soon it grows until you are cackling madly.
>You laugh until you run out of breath.
>Anon looks at you worriedly and pats you on the back.
>“Breath Nel, breath!”
>Eventually, you collect yourself and, with tears in your eyes, look up at your friend.
“Anon?”
>“Yeah?
“I never want to see another mango as long as I live.”

The end.