Reassured

Antigen: fine

Antigen: I see myself in 5 years. With the person i plan to be with for rest of my life. Not saying married, but just together. And im starting to realize people i love dont seem to want that. Least not from me. So like now, Im crying over it,because I feel like im wasting my time. And i know its trvival to want something liek that and im only going to be 20, but i really want it. And Idk i guess wanting that, makes me overly clingy, and needy, and it hurts myself. because when i dont get what i need, I feel like im being ingored, and i over think, and I end up like this. .. Also, I know that i literally cannot give you up. Literally told nyxie the other day it sbeen 5 yrs and i never once stopped loving you, even after all my stupid bullshit. So theres that. /rambles/ Idk, sometimes i feel liek i shouldnt bother anyone with my problems. and I guess i pull most of thsi shit with people im trying to be wi th, and didnt realize it. So i suppose it makes me bad at communicating. But no one has ever told me to fuckign stop, and fucking speak up saying that it hurts them when i dont tell them how i feel but i write abotu tielse where? and So i just keep doing it. which i relaize now is mean. And i shouldnt do it. But im really bad at this.. /sighs/ i just dont feel like im wanted nearly as enough as i want you. /shrugs/ im being stupid i know but i dont knwo where we stand, and i dont like not having a label. And i really dont like being alone. I really hate it. But you arent ready for anything so im trying to live with that. Guess im just wanting too much too fast? idk.. Think i just need to back off and work on myself cause apparently i cant be alone.

Antigen: ^ rambles.. sorry...

Jailed: Baby you're just overthinking again. I understand how you feel and i've thought about it too but you should remember you've always been like this. An I always accept you as you are; the good and the bad. I love your flaws. Now just because I love everything about you that doesn't mean I won't confront you about it; you know how blunt I am. I try to understand or at least I want to but I can't if you don't give me the chance to. I can't if you don't talk to me. I was only hurt because of how much I love you, I know I can tell you everything and I shouldn't have expected the same from you; I just kinda hoped you felt comftorable enough to tell me when somethings wrong. Espically with me. I love you for who you are and i'm not going anywhere. Just remember that you'll always have me label or not. I know you're used to rushing into things but the more you rush into something the faster it gets ruined. What I have with you is too important to me to get ruined. I won't allow it. An I also know how much attention you need; I know right now if I don't have time for myself I don't have the time I want to give you but I try more than you think. I don't tell you every single thing anymore because there are just some things that can't be helped. Like idk if I told you about me loosing grandmas rent money n my uncle possibly taking it. I didn't say anything because at the end of the day what was there is gone and i'm just going to accept that. I won't pay the light bill n i'll pay the rent because grandma needs a place to live more than we need lights. For some reason you think its a bad thing to not want to be alone.. Its not. Its normal.

Antigen: u.u knew i overthink too much. -sighs- .. and I .. I mean im comfortable with talking to you, i just see what your dealing with and I dont wanna add to it, ya know? You dont say what it is, but i know damn well its more important than whats going on with my dad, or with my mom. Idk Guess I dont care to open about those things anymore,cause as of today they dont matter. But tahts all thats reall ybugging me, and then my over thinking -w- Which i swear to god, will kill me someday(lol..) , and.. damn im sorry you lost money :l wish you had told me sooner, i had have snet you some to paypal to cover it. I know its a lot, but id seriously do that. Its better than me blowing it on trviial things. And <.> I dont think its normal, i mean i always thought wanting to be alone was? like you should want to be alone sometimes, and i literally dont fell that way. I feel like i always need to have someone, not a relatiosnhips persay but someone just thats there with me? idk :l .. but -huffs my cheeks out- im sorry for overthinking <.> and i do wanna try to talk to you more about whats bothering me, i just seriously dont wanna bother you with it.

Jailed: you're not bothering me with it, its not alot it was only 70.00 grandma has housing authority n disability so the rent is cheaper than most other places

Jailed: i understand

Jailed: but talk to me