Carpathia 06

--- 06.

>It's hard to say exactly when you fell asleep.
>You don't remember.
>NyQuil will do that to you.
>The first thing you notice when you awake on your couch is the wetness on your waist.
>Second, the sun is trying to shine into your living room through the closed blackout curtains.
>Third, the wetness in your pants turns out to be from the spilled beer can that was in your hand when you fell asleep.
>Your waist and a spot on the couch are soaked.
>This is not the first time your couch got a beer bath.
>The fourth thing you notice is-
>"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!"
>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
>Your blurry eyes look up to where the SpongeBob theme song is playing on the TV.
>Derby is standing only a foot or so away from the screen.
>As she sings along, she shakes her butt from side to side.
>Her wing is held high and her long tail swishes on the ground behind her.
>"If nautical nonsense be something you wish!"
>Derby keeps shaking her back end in an awkward jig and sings back to the screen.
>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
>Her singing voice is flat and morose sounding.
>But she seems to be happy, dancing and bobbing her head.
>Your head is killing you.
>And your stomach is sick.
"Derby..."
>The pony turns her head around while still shaking her butt.
>Her everpresent smile greets you.
>"Good morning, Anonymous. SpongeBob SquarePants."
>You take the empty beer can from beside your waist and place it on the table in front of you, where six other empty cans stand.
"Yeah. SpongeBob SquarePants."
>You grab your phone from off the arm rest and check the time.
>Two in the afternoon.
>Derby turns back to the TV.
>Even though the song is over, she still jitters a bit.
>Luckily, you don't have work today.
>Your head throbs.
>There's a nasty taste in the back of your throat.
"Ugh..."
>You grab your pack of cigarettes from the coffee table and take one out.
>Never have you smoked in your apartment, but right now you can't find the intestinal fortitude to make your way outside.
>So you light up right on the couch.
>"Derby likes this show."
>You lean back on the couch and look at Derby.
>Her head moves slightly, following the movements of characters on the screen.
>Without an ashtray, you grab the beer can you just set down and ash your cigarette into it.
>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
>Today you will plug Derby back in and examine her settings.
>Today you will.
>But after a nap.
>You're soaked in beer and your head feels like ground beef.
>There's no point in trying to deal with this right now.
>So you take the half-empty bottle of NyQuil from the table beside the couch and have a drink from that.
>At least you don't have to work today.
>There's really nothing for you to do.
>So you finish your cigarette and drift back to sleep.
>The last thing you remember is the sight of Derby bouncing happily in front of the television.

-

>Today is the seventeenth.
>Your phone bill comes out today.
>The TV and internet comes out in two days.
>And the car insurance is today as well.
>One more paycheck this month and then your rent is due on the first.
>You sit at your kitchen table, looking at the sheet of paper where you've tracked bills.
>There's not much to work with in terms of money.
>It took a lot of saving to buy Derby.
>That's part of the reason why your fridge is so bare now.
>You put your phone down and creak back in your chair, sighing and running a hand through your hair.
>Derby watches from her chair right beside you.
>You take a drink of beer and pat her head.
"I have to go shopping, Derby."
>You are hungry.
>It's a bad idea to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, but you desperately need food.
>It's a good thing Derby doesn't need to eat.
>"I want to go shopping with Anonymous."
>You finish your last can of beer and toss it into the overflowing trash.
"No. You have to stay here, Derby."
>"Please don't leave Derby alone."
"I'm just going to the store, I'll be right ba-"
>There's a sudden knock at your front door.
>No one ever visits in the evening.
>No one ever visits.
>You get up and go into the living room, with Derby following on your heels and her wing brushing against your legs.
>Going to the front door, you look out through the peephole.
>Your mother stands on the other side of the door.
>The sight makes a sinking feeling in your stomach.
>There is no way you can let her see Derby.
>So you pick the pony up and rush to your bedroom.
>Derby wraps her legs aground your neck and you almost run into a wall when her wing comes up to pat your face.
>"I like it when you hold me, Anonymous."
>You peel her off and set her down on your bed.
"Okay, Derby... Please stay in here. Don't come out until I come get you, okay?"
>Derby just sits and smiles at you.
>One of her eyes drifts down.
>As insurance for her compliance, you turn the TV on.
>Her attention is drawn to the screen instantly.
>It's still on the History Channel, so hopefully Ancient Aliens will keep her distracted.
>With that, you leave your bedroom and close the door behind you.
>Outside, you can hear your mom pounding on the front door.
>From the kitchen, the sound of your phone buzzing on the table reaches your ears.
>You bound over and unlock the three different locks on your door and open it.
>Your mother's grumpy face stares at you.
>"Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"I didn't know you were planning on coming over."
>You can see her eyes scanning the inside of your apartment behind you.
>Shifting your body in the door frame, you try to block her view.
>"I was out at my book club, so I decided to come by and check on you. So you're smoking again, huh?"
>You try not to glare at her.
>It's really hard.
"Yeah. Sorry, but I'm actually going to go to the grocery store soon."
>She is still trying to look into your apartment.
>"At nine at night?"
"I was asleep today. Walmart is open twenty-four hours."
>"Are you going to invite me in?" She snaps.
"I'm about to leave."
>She makes her impatient face and you can tell she doesn't care about anything you have to say.
>"I have something for you."
>You see that down in the parking lot, there are three guys standing near a car, smoking.
>They all look like tweekers and are watching you speak with your mother.
"Alright, come on in."
>You move aside and your mother rushes past you.
>Once the door is closed and locked, you turn and see that your mom is staring down at your coffee table.
>It's cluttered with the usual mess of papers, cups, knick-nacks and used plates.
>But now there are empty beer cans with ash on the tops, a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of NyQuil.
>"You're smoking in here?"
>You sigh and go to do damage control on the kitchen before she can see it.
"Only a bit. I didn't-"
>"That's disgusting."
>You roll your eyes and march into the kitchen.
>There's nothing you can do.
>The pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
>The trash overflowing next to the fridge.
>The mess on the table.
>So instead of trying to mask the filth, you just grab your phone.
>Your mother comes into the kitchen and makes a disgusted 'tch' sound.
>"I wasn't expecting it to be this bad."
"Yeah. I get it. I really have to get going soon. I haven't eaten today."
>She steps over an empty box of cereal on the ground and over to the table, acting like anything she touches will try to bite her.
>"Here."
>She places a slip of paper down on the table.
>You lean over and look as she takes a pen out of her purse.
"What is that?"
>"How much do you owe?"
>She starts filling out a check.
>Your stomach clenches and you lean back.
"Listen, I don't need-"
>"How much do you owe?"
>You know she's not going to give this up.
>With a sigh, you run a hand through your hair.
"Three thousand..."
>She looks up from the check and gives you a look.
>That look hurts more than anything.
>A mixture of irritation and disappointment.
>With a 'tch', she finishes filling out the check.
>"I'm not going to ask why. I'm not going to tell you how to fix what you have done."
>She folds the check in half and slides it in front of you.
>"Just get it together."
>You look into her cold eyes.
>"For the love of God, Anon. Get. Your shit. Together."
>The only thing you can do is stare at her with your mouth slightly open.
>Without a word, she hoists her purse up on her shoulder and exits your kitchen.
>You stare down at the check in front of you.
>It seems too heavy to pick up from the beat up table.
>The sound of your front door slamming makes you look up.
>You sit staring at the door of the kitchen in silence.
>"Anonymous?"
>Derby pokes her head into the kitchen.
>She smiles at you, one eye looking over toward the stove.
>"Is it okay for Derby to come out?"
>She's already-
>You offer her a weak smile.
"Yes, Derby. Thank you."
>The ponybot walks silently into the kitchen.
>Without a word, she crawls up into your lap.
>You shift in your chair, caught off guard.
>Derby wraps her hooves around your neck and hugs you tightly.
>Her mane slides across your face in an orange mesh.
>"I am your Carpathia."
>That makes you blink in confusion.
>Derby's wing wraps over your head.
>It almost feels like a hand pulling you closer.
>"I will save you from drowning, Anonymous."
>You feel the tears welling up in your eyes.
"Damn..."

-

>You were wrong.
>All wrong.
>The calculations were all wrong.
>There's less money in your bank account than you thought.
>It turns out you only have fifty dollars left.
>Fifty dollars to your name.
>After the phone bill and insurance, you don't even have enough to pay the TV and internet bill.
>And now there is even less after your trip to the store.
>After checking your bank account and finding your meager funds, you had to make a choice.
>So now, as you stand in your kitchen looking at your 'groceries', you feel drained.
>The box of ramen noodles and cans of beefaroni will have to last you for the next week.
>You can do it.
>Of course- you didn't NEED the beer, NyQuil and cigarettes.
>Of course.
>But you bought them anyway.
>You light a cigarette and take a drink of NyQuil as you listen to the sounds of The Titanic playing on the TV in the living room.
>The feeling of the syrup sliding down your throat helps.
>You ash your cigarette into the sink and look over at the table.
>Your mother's check still lays in the same place.
>Three thousand dollars.
>You can pay off your debt.
>Or-
>You could use some to buy food...
>No.
>You have to get your shit together.
>There's a vibration in your pocket and you slap your hand to your leg.
>Your phone.
>Taking it out, you turn on the screen.
>A text message.
>From your dad.
>With your heart kicking up suddenly, you open the message.
>'After you cash the check don't bother talking to us for a while. Thank your mother then handle your business.'
>You stare at that message for a while.
>Long enough to go through the rest of your cigarette and on to a new one.
>Putting your phone on the counter, you open a Pabst and take a good long drink.
>Through the wall, you can hear your neighbors start their yelling match.
>There's the sound of glass breaking and a woman starts crying.
>With your beer, you leave the kitchen and walk into the living room.
>There's no light, save for the TV.
>And Derby's crimson eyes.
>She sits on the couch, smiling at the screen.
>You walk down the hall and to your bathroom.
>Closing the door, you turn on the light and take another drink of beer.
>You catch a sight of yourself in the mirror.
>It makes you turn away.
>You get into the bathtub and sit down.
>In one drink, you finish your beer.
>Swallowing, you crush the can in one hand and throw it violently at the door.
>It bounces off and slides across the linoleum.
>You pull your knees to your chest and hang your head between them with your eyes closed.
>When is this going to stop?
>You are twenty-seven.
>When do things get better?
"It's too late..."
>The door to the bathroom opens.
>You don't look up.
>Derby walks into the bathroom and you know she is staring at you sitting in the bathtub.
>Smiling.
>You can hear the sound of her shifting around and a clicking noise.
>Lifting your head slowly, you turn to her.
>She stands smiling at you.
>Using her wing like a hand, she points the TV remote at you and clicks it over and over.
>Pressing 'play'.
>Finally, you cry.
>You sob like a baby, sitting in your bathtub with your knees pulled tightly to your chest.
>"What is wrong with you, Anonymous? Derby doesn't know... What is wrong with you?"

https://youtu.be/QtntLccF74o