The Chuck Tingle Inspired Shower Smut

My name is Kimisha Nantucket, and I work at a chlorination plant, which supplies the chlorine for pools and such.  As you may guess, working with pure chlorine is very dangerous. If you inhale the stuff, it is basically bad times for your lungs, and probably death.  And getting it in your eyes is just, like shit man, you’re blind now, better learn to see via taste or some shit.
But this is not about chlorine. If it was, I wouldn’t be recounting this. Because I’d be dead. I’d be a ghost. Do you think ghosts ever have sex? Sex with the sho-
Wait, I’m getting too far ahead of myself.
It all started on a boring Monday morning. I’m nursing a hangover (4 glasses of Vodka and grape juice never bode well for anyone) and I’m dead tired. Almost like a zombie, but with a pulse and an addiction to the finer things in life.  Alcohol, sex, spending ten million hours making mad loot on virtual pet sites, you know, the usual.
So my head is pounding, my eyes are blurring, and all of the sudden, I feel myself crash into a large bin, like some sort of mini-reservoir. Ech, reservoir, never liked the word. Always left a bad taste in my mouth. So, I’ll just call it a pool. So this pool has tiny walls around it, to keep normal chucklefucks from accidentally falling in or some junk like that. It’s a liability thing. I, by some miracle (and why it was a miracle will later be explained), manage to vault myself into the pool of liquid chemical. It was pretty shallow, but it’s not the depths that hurt you.
My skin was burning, itching. My eyes were just about completely sightless. I felt a pair of arms grab my body from underneath the pits. He shouted something, but his voice swam like a fish right through my brain and out through my ass.
I felt myself being shoved into a small room, like some sort of broom closet or something, except wet water was spraying on me unceremoniously. I soon realized I must be in the safety shower, duh. But then, why did the water taste….slightly salty? My eyes had been rinsed of the foul chemical well enough so that I could finally see again. Praising myself for not turning out totally blind (no offense to those who are of course), I started to glance around this odd shower room. The walls were pristine. Of course, it was a safety shower. Would you really use a safety shower, even if you were near death, that was covered in mold and toe goop?
The answer is no.
So, I glance around some more. Nothing that could seem to give off a salty taste. I was just about to brush it off as some weird chemical thing they use in safety shower water, when I finally looked up to the showerhead.
The showerhead was large, like something you’d see at one of those chain hotels. Not the small showerheads, just the really circular and big ones. But that wasn’t all.
I gasped as my eyes took in the most massive dong I have ever seen in my life, attached to the showerhead. I mentally scolded myself. How could I have not noticed the penis dangling right in front of me? It was roughly the size of a 5-year old child, for fuck’s sake.
It was an awkward color for a penis as well. It was pure red, with midnight stripes mixed in. It was almost like some of my insertable toys back at home.
I don’t know what tempted me. Maybe it was the sheer size of the organ, or maybe it was those chemicals kicking in, but for whatever reason, I started to stroke the large meat wand.  The penis hardened at my touch, as if it was saying “thank you”.  You know, normal penis activity.
But then, it spoke.
“Oh godddddddddddd yessssssssssssss!” the penis screamed in absolute pleasure.
Who knew my touch was that orgasmic?
“….You…you can talk?” I stammered quizzically.
“Of course, I can talk, darling.” the dong replied seductively.
The only way I can explain his voice is….you know The Matrix? You know the guy Morpheus? The black dude? Played by Laurence Fishburne? That was it. The throbbing member dangling before me had the voice of fucking Laurence Fishburne, except it was like Morpheus somehow got 150 times sexier.
Yeah, when The Matrix came out and everyone wanted to bang Neo and Trinity, I wanted to bang Morpheus. Get over it.
 But anyway, back to my story.
I step back a few steps, because this is like a childhood dream come true. I’ve always wanted to be accosted by a gargantuan wang that has the voice of one of the greats of cinema (Orson Welles is rolling in his grave right now). I’m not lying. This has literally been my dream since I was three years old. I may have had problems as a child.
“What’s wrong?” the penis asked, drooping slightly, as if he was sad.
“N-nothing.” I stammered. “I…just….didn’t expect this.”
I could feel myself turning crimson from my head to my taint. The crimson blush then spread from my genitals to the balls of my feet.
“Ah, nobody really does.” the massive log of meat sighed sadly. “Most just shake it off as a result of the various chemicals they’ve been covered in.”
“So…you’re real?” I muttered, in awe.
“Real as anything.” he affirmed. “So….they probably won’t be back to get you in a while…so….”
“….Let’s fuck.” I concluded, with a devious grin on my face.
He didn’t have a face, but I could swear I was seeing him grin right back.
I lotioned up my hands with some soap left there, and ran my smooth hands across his shaft.
“Oh….mannnnnnn!” he orgasmed.
“You like that, don’t you, you dirty boy?” I chided seductively.
“Hell yes.” he said, in a pained whisper, before climaxing.
I was covered in a special sauce that was more important than any McDonalds could ever hope to achieve, even with the sexy dad Hamburglar (though to be fair, I’ve already made a 3D printed dildo of his face). Mixed with warm shower water, the salt machine just kept coming and I was doused with pure pleasure. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I finally reached orgasm.

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDDDD HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
The water turned off, and I was left, glistening with water, sweat, and his marshmallow fluff.

“Did you like that?” he asked.
I nodded, panting from the pleasure.
“They should be coming any moment now, get dressed.” the member commanded.
As I put on my clothes, I turned to him to ask a question.
“Do you have a name?” I asked.
The penis seemed shocked, twitching slightly.
“Uh…y-yes, it’s Fernando.” he stammered.
“Nice name.”  I muttered in approval. “Why you stammering then?”
“it’s just….no one has ever paid proper attention to me…like you have.” Fernando muttered “And can I ask the same about you?”
“My name?” I asked, for clarification. “It’s Kimisha.”
“Lovely.” he said, his voice holding a smile. “Now go.”
I walked out of the safety shower. My coworker, Clarisse, barreled into me.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “They called an ambulance, but it hasn’t arrived yet. Traffic problems I think.”
“I…..I’m better than okay.” I sighed.
And I walked away.