Soarin and Human: The Fade Away

>Day Soarin and Human: The Fade Away in Equestria.
>”Anon, I don’t think things are going to work out between us.”
>You turn to Applejack.
“What?”
>She takes a breath and continues.
>”I don’t want to be just your weekend or ‘whenever you feel like it’ girl,” she says with a flat tone.
>She probably practised this speech countless times.
>”I don’t think you were all that interested in me because we don’t hang out often, and when we do you never sound excited.”
>That’s true.
>You’ve been phoning it in for a while now.
>The magic ended after she gave herself to you.
>Then there was no challenge.
>But, you can’t tell her that.
”AJ, I -“
>She interrupts you.
>”I do appreciate you being nice to me and taking me out. That’s why this is so hard for me.”
>She puts a hoof on your hand.
>”Maybe we can stay friends?”
>Yeah right.
”I’d like that,” you lie.
>She just smiles starts trotting toward the door.
”AJ.”
>Applejack turns toward you.
”I enjoyed our time together, and I wish you the best.”
>She nods.
>”I wish you the best too.”
>AJ closes the door behind her.
>Well…
>That was different.
>You were supposed to pull a fade away.
>She wasn’t supposed to confront you over that.
>No one ever does.
>Girls here don't make any sense.
>The door swings open.
>”Hey, Anon.”
>You turn to your friend.
“Hi, Soarin.”
>”I just saw AJ pretty sad. What’d you do this time?” He accuses.
“Me? I didn’t do anything!”
>He opens your fridge before continuing.
1/8
>”She’s a good girl and you shouldn’t treat her that way.”
>He grabs a treat and waves it at you in a threatening manner.
”Yeah, yeah.”
>Wait a minute.
>That’s yours.
>He smells it and frowns.
>”Cherry pie again?”
“Maybe you can start bringing your own if you’re going to be picky.”
>He just laughs at your absurd suggestion.
>”Seriously though, what happened?”
”Oh you know. Nothing much, AJ just broke up with me.”
>He looks at you in disbelief.
>”And you made her cry for that?”
“I didn’t make her do anything!”
>Soarin shakes his head.
>”You know all you humans are alike. Always messing up pony’s lives.”
>What?
”I’m the only human here.”
>”That’s what I said. All of you. All being just you, are alike.”
>You wave a hand at him.
”You’re being ridiculous.”
>The door opens.
>Lyra enters.
>”Hey, guys.”
”Hey, Lyra,” you and Soarin say sharply in unison.
>She stops in her tracks.
>”What’s wrong with you two?”
>”Anon here just broke Applejack’s heart.”
”She broke her own heart!”
>”I don’t think that’s possible,” Lyra shakes her head. “Medically speaking.”
>You pour yourself a glass of whiskey.
>These ponies are driving you to drink.
>”Anon, didn’t you say you were going to break up with AJ?” Soarin prods.
>”You said that?”
“No. I never said that. I said I was going to pull a fade away.” You wave your hands for emphasis. “It’s a completely different thing.”
>”Oh yeah,” Soarin remembers.
>”You can’t do that! That’s even worse than breaking up.”
”It lets everyone keep their dignity.”
>”Anon you don’t get it do you?” Lyra says as she sits next to you. ”A fade away is the worst thing you could possibly do.”
2/8
”The worst?”
>”Yeah, then the mare is all like, ‘what did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he call anymore?’”
>”It’s a jerk move,” Soarin adds with a mouthful of your pie.
”You two are impossible. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
>Lyra glares at you.
”It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. She was supposed to-“
>”To what? Just forget about you?”
>Lyra moves forward and her face is practically on yours.
>Your eyes dart to the side.
”I thought maybe she would find some other guy and… you know…”
>”Cheat on you,” Soarin says to try to finish your thought.
”No. Just-“
>”Anon, of all the dirty things. I thought you were a good guy. I guess all humans are the same.”
>Lyra sulks back and crosses her forelegs.
>”That’s what I said!”
”What other humans do you know?”
>Lyra opens then closes her mouth.
>Like she wanted to say something but chomped the words away.
>Not wanting to put her on the spot you continue.
”I feel bad about it too. I’m shaken up!”
>”You know what always picks me up when I’m down?” Soarin asks.
”What?”
>”A new marefriend.”
>”So he can break her heart too?”
>”No. We’ll just find one that won’t care if he suddenly stops calling or dies or whatever.”
“I don’t think I want a girl that doesn’t care if I die.”
>”It’s just a saying, Anon,” Lyra dismisses.
>You’ve never heard that before.
>But with these two you can never be sure.
>They ignore you.
>”How about that rainbow one?” Lyra asks.
>”Nah, look at Anon.” Soarin points at you. “He’s weak. She’d never go for him.”
>”You don’t know that. Maybe she wants to slum once in a while.”
>They both laugh at your expense.
>After they calm down they get back to the task.
>All of you put a hoof to your chin to think.
>Except for you.
>You put a hand.
>”I got it!” Lyra shouts.
3/8
“Who?”
>”That one with the pink hair. What’s her name?”
>”Fluttershy?”
>”Yeah! That’s the one.”
”No, no, no. I’ve been down that road before. It leads right to crazy town.”
>”Anon’s right. She can get…” Soarin shudders. “Clingy.”
>You all sit in silence.
>After about a minute Soarin gets an idea.
>”I know. Oh… uh…  you two know her… she has the thing… with her eyes,” Soarin mutters. “Oh yeah. Ditzy Doo.”
>”Ditzy?”
>”Yeah, she’s perfect.”
“Why are you two only recommending pegasi?”
>They look at each other before offering you a shrug.
“What? You don’t think I’m good enough for a unicorn?”
>”I thought you wanted some rebound-pony you could do a fade away on.”
”I never said that.”
>Lyra moves closer to you.
>”You’re telling me the next mare you go out with you are going to do a good clean breakup with?”
>A shrug is all you offer her.
>You can do better than that.
"Alright... I'll do it..."
>”That’s the spirit, Anon,” Lyra says. ”I have an idea, there’s a party tonight. Maybe you can meet a unicorn there?”
>"Yeah, and I'll be there to make sure you don't screw it up," Soarin adds.
>If both of your friends are going to help you, then you might be able to pull this off.
“Sure. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?”
>
>
>The next day.
>You are laying on your couch with an icepack on your head, and another one…
>Well you know where the other is…
“God, this shouldn’t hurt so much,” you moan.
>”Hey Anon.” Soarin says as he bursts in. “What happened to you?”
>You just sneer at him.
>He gives you a confused look before going to your fridge.
>You can hear him loudly pushing food aside for his prize.
>”Where are your pies?”
”I’m all out.”
>”All out?”
”Yeah I didn’t go to the store today.”
>”What am I supposed to eat?”
“Bring your own pies!”
4/8
>Instead he takes a soda and sits next to you.
>”You look awful. What happened?”
>You put the icepack on your head to the side.
“You abandoned me.”
>"I got distracted..."
"Did you at least sleep with her?"
>The last time you saw him he was chatting up some floozy.
>"No... she told me off."
>It hurts to laugh, so you hold it in.
>Instead you tell your story.
"You left me near the punch bowl..."
>”Yeah?”
“And I met a nice… well I thought she was nice… unicorn.”
>”Alright…”
“So we had a few drinks and then she got real clingy.”
>”Uh oh…”
“But I didn’t think anything of it. And she was all like, hey we should go over to my place.”
>Soarin starts licking his lips.
>Anticipating the details.
”So we did, and she started playing this hypnotic music.”
>”Okay…”
”And then we started making out… and I was all like, oh man this is going to happen, and it did.”
>”You had sex with her?”
”Yeah. But once wasn’t enough… She wanted more…”
>”How much more?”
”I lost count after seven. I mean I was shooting blanks at that point. I told her to stop, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
>”Sounds like a good time.”
”No… I hope little Anon isn’t broken.”
>”Sounds like a freak. Ya did good son… ya did good.”
”She’s coming over tonight.”
>”Yeah? What time?”
”I don’t remember.”
>”Okay… what was her name?”
”I don’t know. She had short blue hair, and a white coat, and all she talked about was wubs and fucking.”
>Soarin makes a confused face.
>”Uh… did she say she was a DJ?”
”Maybe. I don’t really remember.”
>Soarin grabs your shirts and shakes you.
>”You have to be sure! Was it Vinyl?”
5/8
>The door opens.
>”Because if it’s who I think it is, you’re pretty much fucked,” Soarin says.
>”Who’s fucked?” Lyra asks.
>Soarn lets you go to address your new guest.
>”Anon. He’s dating that DJ pony.”
>Lyra looks at you and turns pale.
>”It was nice knowing you, Anon.”
>You wave a hand at them to dismiss her words.
“We’re not dating. We just had sex a few times.”
>”A few times? Look at yourself! You need to break it off now!” Soarin yells.
”I think I’ll just avoid her.”
>”No, no, no. You’re not pulling a fade away. You promised!”
”What choice do I have?”
>”Do it right! Break up with her!”
”Were not dating!”
>A knock at the door.
>All three of you turn your heads toward the sound.
“She’s here...”
>Lyra starts breathing heavily.
>”Alright. Uhhhh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
>She starts backing toward the rear exit.
”Hey you’re supposed to help me!”
>”I can’t. I’ve got… stuff…”
>Lyra runs out the back door.
”What about you?”
>You turn to Soarin.
>”I should probably go.”
>Soarin opens up a window.
“You can’t just leave me here.”
>He opens his mouth to say something, but stops himself.
>After a moment he offers, “Just don’t listen to her music.”
>And then he flies away.
”Thanks for the support guys!”
>This is bullshit.
>They want you to break up with a girl, but they won’t even hang around.
>Maybe she really is crazy.
>Or they have history…
>The door opens.
>You really should start locking that thing.
6/8
>”Hey, Anon.”
”Oh… hey…” Shit what was her name. It has something to do with music. “How it going... Album.”
>”Album?" She shakes her head. "It’s too soon for pet names.”
>She walks in and sits next to you.
>The pony bats her eyes.
>”You do remember my name, right?”
>…
>Better man up.
>You shake your head.
>She frowns at you.
>”It’s Vinyl. Vinyl Scratch.”
>She lifts a hoof and scratches the air like a cat.
>You force a chuckle to appease her.
>Pain shoots through your body.
>She had way too much fun with you last night.
>”I guess I can’t blame you. The music was pretty loud.”
>She scoots closer and puts her head on your shoulder.
>A hoof moves your hand over her.
>She’s warm.
>And soft.
>”Anyway, I was thinking today we could go to the park and take a wa-“
>You cut her off.
”We need to talk.”
>She gives you a confused look.
>”Alright…”
”Listen, Vinyl. You and I shared some amazing times together, but I-“
>”Are you breaking up with me?”
>You gulp.
”Uh… yeah I guess…”
>”But we’re not dating.”
>Shit.
>”We have to be going out before you can break up with me.”
>Well this was not expected.
“What are we then?”
>She shrugs.
>”I don’t know.” She thinks for a moment. “ Just two ponies enjoying each other’s company.”
>She waits a moment to let her words sink in.
>You look away.
“Last night-”
>”Was perfect. I know you enjoyed it.”
7/8
>She rolls over and a hoof caresses you through your jeans.
>Though it feels good you know you have to put a stop to this.
>You try to move a hand, but Anon jr won’t let you stop her.
>No.
>You’re stronger than this.
>You have to tell her off now.
>If you let her walk all over you, then you will never get rid of her.
>She will suck out all of your life energy.
>Ponies will walk past your house marvelling at the husk that was once Anon.
>Summoning all of your strength you stand up, and she has to roll off to keep herself from falling.
>She frowns at you, but it slowly turns into a smirk.
>”That’s alright. I wasn’t in the mood the cuddle anyway.”
>She pulls a record from her pack and walks toward your Pontrolla player.
>Soaring said not to let her do that.
“No, no, we don’t need to listen to music… we can go back to cuddling…”
>She smiles at you.
>”Why don’t we have both?”
>She turns the volume up and the room fills with wubs.
>The hypnotic beat quickly takes over.
>You are powerless to resist.
>Vinyl points at the couch.
>”Sit.”
>You comply.
>”I know you’re going to love this, Anon. Take off your shirt.”
>You do as she says.
“Just don’t hurt me,” you squeak out.
>She laughs at this.
>”Take off your pants.”
>Again you can’t resist her.
>The rooms shakes to the beat.
>”Don’t worry… I’ll probably get tired of you eventually…”
>She inhales your scent.
>”I know you want this…”
>Satisfied she climbs over you.
>”If you really wanted to break up with me…”
>Vinyl places her weight on you.
>”You wouldn’t have asked me to come over… You would have just…”
>She shudders as she takes you in.
>”Pulled a fade away.”
fin
8/8