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Soarin and Human: The Fade Away

Apr 23rd, 2014
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  1. >Day Soarin and Human: The Fade Away in Equestria.
  2. >”Anon, I don’t think things are going to work out between us.”
  3. >You turn to Applejack.
  4. “What?”
  5. >She takes a breath and continues.
  6. >”I don’t want to be just your weekend or ‘whenever you feel like it’ girl,” she says with a flat tone.
  7. >She probably practised this speech countless times.
  8. >”I don’t think you were all that interested in me because we don’t hang out often, and when we do you never sound excited.”
  9. >That’s true.
  10. >You’ve been phoning it in for a while now.
  11. >The magic ended after she gave herself to you.
  12. >Then there was no challenge.
  13. >But, you can’t tell her that.
  14. ”AJ, I -“
  15. >She interrupts you.
  16. >”I do appreciate you being nice to me and taking me out. That’s why this is so hard for me.”
  17. >She puts a hoof on your hand.
  18. >”Maybe we can stay friends?”
  19. >Yeah right.
  20. ”I’d like that,” you lie.
  21. >She just smiles starts trotting toward the door.
  22. ”AJ.”
  23. >Applejack turns toward you.
  24. ”I enjoyed our time together, and I wish you the best.”
  25. >She nods.
  26. >”I wish you the best too.”
  27. >AJ closes the door behind her.
  28. >Well…
  29. >That was different.
  30. >You were supposed to pull a fade away.
  31. >She wasn’t supposed to confront you over that.
  32. >No one ever does.
  33. >Girls here don't make any sense.
  34. >The door swings open.
  35. >”Hey, Anon.”
  36. >You turn to your friend.
  37. “Hi, Soarin.”
  38. >”I just saw AJ pretty sad. What’d you do this time?” He accuses.
  39. “Me? I didn’t do anything!”
  40. >He opens your fridge before continuing.
  41. 1/8
  42. >”She’s a good girl and you shouldn’t treat her that way.”
  43. >He grabs a treat and waves it at you in a threatening manner.
  44. ”Yeah, yeah.”
  45. >Wait a minute.
  46. >That’s yours.
  47. >He smells it and frowns.
  48. >”Cherry pie again?”
  49. “Maybe you can start bringing your own if you’re going to be picky.”
  50. >He just laughs at your absurd suggestion.
  51. >”Seriously though, what happened?”
  52. ”Oh you know. Nothing much, AJ just broke up with me.”
  53. >He looks at you in disbelief.
  54. >”And you made her cry for that?”
  55. “I didn’t make her do anything!”
  56. >Soarin shakes his head.
  57. >”You know all you humans are alike. Always messing up pony’s lives.”
  58. >What?
  59. ”I’m the only human here.”
  60. >”That’s what I said. All of you. All being just you, are alike.”
  61. >You wave a hand at him.
  62. ”You’re being ridiculous.”
  63. >The door opens.
  64. >Lyra enters.
  65. >”Hey, guys.”
  66. ”Hey, Lyra,” you and Soarin say sharply in unison.
  67. >She stops in her tracks.
  68. >”What’s wrong with you two?”
  69. >”Anon here just broke Applejack’s heart.”
  70. ”She broke her own heart!”
  71. >”I don’t think that’s possible,” Lyra shakes her head. “Medically speaking.”
  72. >You pour yourself a glass of whiskey.
  73. >These ponies are driving you to drink.
  74. >”Anon, didn’t you say you were going to break up with AJ?” Soarin prods.
  75. >”You said that?”
  76. “No. I never said that. I said I was going to pull a fade away.” You wave your hands for emphasis. “It’s a completely different thing.”
  77. >”Oh yeah,” Soarin remembers.
  78. >”You can’t do that! That’s even worse than breaking up.”
  79. ”It lets everyone keep their dignity.”
  80. >”Anon you don’t get it do you?” Lyra says as she sits next to you. ”A fade away is the worst thing you could possibly do.”
  81. 2/8
  82. ”The worst?”
  83. >”Yeah, then the mare is all like, ‘what did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he call anymore?’”
  84. >”It’s a jerk move,” Soarin adds with a mouthful of your pie.
  85. ”You two are impossible. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
  86. >Lyra glares at you.
  87. ”It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. She was supposed to-“
  88. >”To what? Just forget about you?”
  89. >Lyra moves forward and her face is practically on yours.
  90. >Your eyes dart to the side.
  91. ”I thought maybe she would find some other guy and… you know…”
  92. >”Cheat on you,” Soarin says to try to finish your thought.
  93. ”No. Just-“
  94. >”Anon, of all the dirty things. I thought you were a good guy. I guess all humans are the same.”
  95. >Lyra sulks back and crosses her forelegs.
  96. >”That’s what I said!”
  97. ”What other humans do you know?”
  98. >Lyra opens then closes her mouth.
  99. >Like she wanted to say something but chomped the words away.
  100. >Not wanting to put her on the spot you continue.
  101. ”I feel bad about it too. I’m shaken up!”
  102. >”You know what always picks me up when I’m down?” Soarin asks.
  103. ”What?”
  104. >”A new marefriend.”
  105. >”So he can break her heart too?”
  106. >”No. We’ll just find one that won’t care if he suddenly stops calling or dies or whatever.”
  107. “I don’t think I want a girl that doesn’t care if I die.”
  108. >”It’s just a saying, Anon,” Lyra dismisses.
  109. >You’ve never heard that before.
  110. >But with these two you can never be sure.
  111. >They ignore you.
  112. >”How about that rainbow one?” Lyra asks.
  113. >”Nah, look at Anon.” Soarin points at you. “He’s weak. She’d never go for him.”
  114. >”You don’t know that. Maybe she wants to slum once in a while.”
  115. >They both laugh at your expense.
  116. >After they calm down they get back to the task.
  117. >All of you put a hoof to your chin to think.
  118. >Except for you.
  119. >You put a hand.
  120. >”I got it!” Lyra shouts.
  121. 3/8
  122. “Who?”
  123. >”That one with the pink hair. What’s her name?”
  124. >”Fluttershy?”
  125. >”Yeah! That’s the one.”
  126. ”No, no, no. I’ve been down that road before. It leads right to crazy town.”
  127. >”Anon’s right. She can get…” Soarin shudders. “Clingy.”
  128. >You all sit in silence.
  129. >After about a minute Soarin gets an idea.
  130. >”I know. Oh… uh… you two know her… she has the thing… with her eyes,” Soarin mutters. “Oh yeah. Ditzy Doo.”
  131. >”Ditzy?”
  132. >”Yeah, she’s perfect.”
  133. “Why are you two only recommending pegasi?”
  134. >They look at each other before offering you a shrug.
  135. “What? You don’t think I’m good enough for a unicorn?”
  136. >”I thought you wanted some rebound-pony you could do a fade away on.”
  137. ”I never said that.”
  138. >Lyra moves closer to you.
  139. >”You’re telling me the next mare you go out with you are going to do a good clean breakup with?”
  140. >A shrug is all you offer her.
  141. >You can do better than that.
  142. "Alright... I'll do it..."
  143. >”That’s the spirit, Anon,” Lyra says. ”I have an idea, there’s a party tonight. Maybe you can meet a unicorn there?”
  144. >"Yeah, and I'll be there to make sure you don't screw it up," Soarin adds.
  145. >If both of your friends are going to help you, then you might be able to pull this off.
  146. “Sure. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?”
  147. >
  148. >
  149. >The next day.
  150. >You are laying on your couch with an icepack on your head, and another one…
  151. >Well you know where the other is…
  152. “God, this shouldn’t hurt so much,” you moan.
  153. >”Hey Anon.” Soarin says as he bursts in. “What happened to you?”
  154. >You just sneer at him.
  155. >He gives you a confused look before going to your fridge.
  156. >You can hear him loudly pushing food aside for his prize.
  157. >”Where are your pies?”
  158. ”I’m all out.”
  159. >”All out?”
  160. ”Yeah I didn’t go to the store today.”
  161. >”What am I supposed to eat?”
  162. “Bring your own pies!”
  163. 4/8
  164. >Instead he takes a soda and sits next to you.
  165. >”You look awful. What happened?”
  166. >You put the icepack on your head to the side.
  167. “You abandoned me.”
  168. >"I got distracted..."
  169. "Did you at least sleep with her?"
  170. >The last time you saw him he was chatting up some floozy.
  171. >"No... she told me off."
  172. >It hurts to laugh, so you hold it in.
  173. >Instead you tell your story.
  174. "You left me near the punch bowl..."
  175. >”Yeah?”
  176. “And I met a nice… well I thought she was nice… unicorn.”
  177. >”Alright…”
  178. “So we had a few drinks and then she got real clingy.”
  179. >”Uh oh…”
  180. “But I didn’t think anything of it. And she was all like, hey we should go over to my place.”
  181. >Soarin starts licking his lips.
  182. >Anticipating the details.
  183. ”So we did, and she started playing this hypnotic music.”
  184. >”Okay…”
  185. ”And then we started making out… and I was all like, oh man this is going to happen, and it did.”
  186. >”You had sex with her?”
  187. ”Yeah. But once wasn’t enough… She wanted more…”
  188. >”How much more?”
  189. ”I lost count after seven. I mean I was shooting blanks at that point. I told her to stop, and she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
  190. >”Sounds like a good time.”
  191. ”No… I hope little Anon isn’t broken.”
  192. >”Sounds like a freak. Ya did good son… ya did good.”
  193. ”She’s coming over tonight.”
  194. >”Yeah? What time?”
  195. ”I don’t remember.”
  196. >”Okay… what was her name?”
  197. ”I don’t know. She had short blue hair, and a white coat, and all she talked about was wubs and fucking.”
  198. >Soarin makes a confused face.
  199. >”Uh… did she say she was a DJ?”
  200. ”Maybe. I don’t really remember.”
  201. >Soarin grabs your shirts and shakes you.
  202. >”You have to be sure! Was it Vinyl?”
  203. 5/8
  204. >The door opens.
  205. >”Because if it’s who I think it is, you’re pretty much fucked,” Soarin says.
  206. >”Who’s fucked?” Lyra asks.
  207. >Soarn lets you go to address your new guest.
  208. >”Anon. He’s dating that DJ pony.”
  209. >Lyra looks at you and turns pale.
  210. >”It was nice knowing you, Anon.”
  211. >You wave a hand at them to dismiss her words.
  212. “We’re not dating. We just had sex a few times.”
  213. >”A few times? Look at yourself! You need to break it off now!” Soarin yells.
  214. ”I think I’ll just avoid her.”
  215. >”No, no, no. You’re not pulling a fade away. You promised!”
  216. ”What choice do I have?”
  217. >”Do it right! Break up with her!”
  218. ”Were not dating!”
  219. >A knock at the door.
  220. >All three of you turn your heads toward the sound.
  221. “She’s here...”
  222. >Lyra starts breathing heavily.
  223. >”Alright. Uhhhh, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
  224. >She starts backing toward the rear exit.
  225. ”Hey you’re supposed to help me!”
  226. >”I can’t. I’ve got… stuff…”
  227. >Lyra runs out the back door.
  228. ”What about you?”
  229. >You turn to Soarin.
  230. >”I should probably go.”
  231. >Soarin opens up a window.
  232. “You can’t just leave me here.”
  233. >He opens his mouth to say something, but stops himself.
  234. >After a moment he offers, “Just don’t listen to her music.”
  235. >And then he flies away.
  236. ”Thanks for the support guys!”
  237. >This is bullshit.
  238. >They want you to break up with a girl, but they won’t even hang around.
  239. >Maybe she really is crazy.
  240. >Or they have history…
  241. >The door opens.
  242. >You really should start locking that thing.
  243. 6/8
  244. >”Hey, Anon.”
  245. ”Oh… hey…” Shit what was her name. It has something to do with music. “How it going... Album.”
  246. >”Album?" She shakes her head. "It’s too soon for pet names.”
  247. >She walks in and sits next to you.
  248. >The pony bats her eyes.
  249. >”You do remember my name, right?”
  250. >…
  251. >Better man up.
  252. >You shake your head.
  253. >She frowns at you.
  254. >”It’s Vinyl. Vinyl Scratch.”
  255. >She lifts a hoof and scratches the air like a cat.
  256. >You force a chuckle to appease her.
  257. >Pain shoots through your body.
  258. >She had way too much fun with you last night.
  259. >”I guess I can’t blame you. The music was pretty loud.”
  260. >She scoots closer and puts her head on your shoulder.
  261. >A hoof moves your hand over her.
  262. >She’s warm.
  263. >And soft.
  264. >”Anyway, I was thinking today we could go to the park and take a wa-“
  265. >You cut her off.
  266. ”We need to talk.”
  267. >She gives you a confused look.
  268. >”Alright…”
  269. ”Listen, Vinyl. You and I shared some amazing times together, but I-“
  270. >”Are you breaking up with me?”
  271. >You gulp.
  272. ”Uh… yeah I guess…”
  273. >”But we’re not dating.”
  274. >Shit.
  275. >”We have to be going out before you can break up with me.”
  276. >Well this was not expected.
  277. “What are we then?”
  278. >She shrugs.
  279. >”I don’t know.” She thinks for a moment. “ Just two ponies enjoying each other’s company.”
  280. >She waits a moment to let her words sink in.
  281. >You look away.
  282. “Last night-”
  283. >”Was perfect. I know you enjoyed it.”
  284. 7/8
  285. >She rolls over and a hoof caresses you through your jeans.
  286. >Though it feels good you know you have to put a stop to this.
  287. >You try to move a hand, but Anon jr won’t let you stop her.
  288. >No.
  289. >You’re stronger than this.
  290. >You have to tell her off now.
  291. >If you let her walk all over you, then you will never get rid of her.
  292. >She will suck out all of your life energy.
  293. >Ponies will walk past your house marvelling at the husk that was once Anon.
  294. >Summoning all of your strength you stand up, and she has to roll off to keep herself from falling.
  295. >She frowns at you, but it slowly turns into a smirk.
  296. >”That’s alright. I wasn’t in the mood the cuddle anyway.”
  297. >She pulls a record from her pack and walks toward your Pontrolla player.
  298. >Soaring said not to let her do that.
  299. “No, no, we don’t need to listen to music… we can go back to cuddling…”
  300. >She smiles at you.
  301. >”Why don’t we have both?”
  302. >She turns the volume up and the room fills with wubs.
  303. >The hypnotic beat quickly takes over.
  304. >You are powerless to resist.
  305. >Vinyl points at the couch.
  306. >”Sit.”
  307. >You comply.
  308. >”I know you’re going to love this, Anon. Take off your shirt.”
  309. >You do as she says.
  310. “Just don’t hurt me,” you squeak out.
  311. >She laughs at this.
  312. >”Take off your pants.”
  313. >Again you can’t resist her.
  314. >The rooms shakes to the beat.
  315. >”Don’t worry… I’ll probably get tired of you eventually…”
  316. >She inhales your scent.
  317. >”I know you want this…”
  318. >Satisfied she climbs over you.
  319. >”If you really wanted to break up with me…”
  320. >Vinyl places her weight on you.
  321. >”You wouldn’t have asked me to come over… You would have just…”
  322. >She shudders as she takes you in.
  323. >”Pulled a fade away.”
  324. fin
  325. 8/8
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