Neetpony Roommate

>Be Floor Bored’s roommate.
>Your name? It's Anon Y. Mouse, brother of Incognito, Warrior of Collating and fixing the copy machine.
>And sometimes you stay up at night and think about the decision to live with the neetpone.
>Main reason of course, being money.
>Rent was a bitch in the city.
>There was absolutely no way you would have been able to afford a place of your own with the meager paychecks you earned
>From your comfortable position on the couch you could see the door that led to her bedroom.
>Is she still alive?
>You hadn’t seen her in almost three days.
>The only indication that she was home were some noises that penetrated the paper thin walls every so often.
>Her door, almost as if responding to your inner thoughts creaked opened.
>And from the darkened confines of her room a small pony emerged.
>A buttery yellow coat topped with a dark mane’d pony trot- err- slaved to pull herself towards the bathroom.
>The bags under her eyes were darker than the cup of coffee which sat on the table in front of you.
>Then the smell hit you like a squirrel running in front of a semi.
>Sweat and marejuice.
>You didn’t even have to guess as to the odors that attacked your nose.
>”Omph… ow.”
>Looking over towards her you saw that she was now on her tummy, her hooves making vain attempts at crawling towards her goal.
“Need a hand?”
>”N- n- no! I’m all good here, no need for you to uh – come over here.”
>She was a weird one alright.
>Despite her words, you only shook your head and walked to the downed pony.
>Though in hindsight you kinda wish you didn’t.
>This was probably why she didn’t want you to help.
>Her entire rump was caked in an unknown dried substance to the point where her coat would need a real long bath.
“Did you spill soda on yourself again?”
>That’s not soda and you know it, but if your hunch is right she’ll-
>”YES, soda I SPILLED some soda on myself, clumsy me!”
>Little lying horse.
“You look tired, here” You picked her up, placing one hand oh so innocently on her rump “I’ll carry you to the bathroom, wouldn’t want my roomie to pass out here after all.”
>Almost as soon as the words left your mouth you felt a little moisture on your hand.

>Be Floor Bored.
>And this must be what all those Trixie Thundercunts must feel like.
>The human held you so close that you could smell that intoxicating scent of his through his clothes.
>It made you wet… again.
>No!
>You weren’t a normie!
>Stuff like him making sweet love to you in the bath, the two of you getting married, having a foal, living happily ever after…
>That stuff only happened in your neighponese comics, not in real life.
>”I’m going to go down on you.”
“WHAT?”
>What did he just SAY?
>”I’m going to set you down.”
>His face was one of confusion as you felt the cool tile on the frogs of your hooves.
>”Want be to start running the bath for you?”
“No- uh do you mind getting out, I need to pee.”
>”Arlighty, yell if you need anything.”
>Watching the door close behind him your hoof was already between your legs.
>Your marehood throbbed in need, you ran your hoof over it doing your best to stifle the moan which threatened to sneak past your lips.
>Hooves wobbling you collapsed again.
>Images of Anon licking you down there flew through your mind.
>His cock teasing you before piercing your deepest parts.
>Running both forehooves against your now swollen lips you gave up on trying to stifle your moans.
>You didn’t care anymore, you just wanted to cum.
>Mare cum leaked from your opening, covering your hooves and the tile you lay upon.
>Vision tunneling you felt the build up as you reached your climax.
>Just a little more-
>Letting out a guttural moan you felt your opening unleash a torrent of liquid all over your hooves and just about everything else in the bathroom.
>Breathing heavily your eyes began to readjust to the bright light of the bathroom.
>You needed that.
>In their gazing around, your eyes settled on one particular object which sat on the sink.
>Anon’s toothbrush.
>A familiar needy feeling in your nethers came back again.
“Buck”

>Ear against the closed door you heard the mare masturbating again.
>She could put a hormonal teenager to shame with her insatiable sex drive.
>Oh well.
>Walking back to the couch you couldn’t help but peer through the open door into the dark room.
>It looked like the aftermath of a tornado.
>Fast food containers, pizza boxes, clothes- wait those were your fucking clothes.
>Looking closer you noted that a majority of them were underwear.
>No wonder you had to keep buying new ones almost every week.
>And most of them were stained.
>Shaking your head in defeat you retreated to the couch.
>You should probably have a chat in the near future about her use of your personal effects.

>The alarm clocks ever annoying ringing cut through your peacefully slumbering mind like a fatty being told to eat a salad with no dressing.
>You were having a nice dream too, one where two certain princesses we’re worshipping your dick with their tongues.
>Truly a wholesome family dream.
“Cut that shit out.” You mumbled, eyes still refusing to open.
>Your hand descended on the off button, mashing it to cease the infernal racket.
>Mornings were never your strong suit.
>Back in the day you were a slacker.
>But a decent whoopin’ from dear old papanon drove it out of you.
>”How the fuck are you going to afford beer if you don’t get your ass to work!”
>Truly he was a misunderstood genius, far beyond his time.
>Rolling to the side of the bed you planted your feet firmly on the ground.
>Might as well get this show on the road.
>With a big yawn you set towards the bathroom to begin your morning ritual.
>Looking towards the shared living room you noticed it was just as clean as you left it the previous night.
>Your roommate, Floor rarely left her room, preferring to instead shlick herself into a stupor every hour.
>Now that you thought about it… how did she even afford the rent?
>These thoughts rattled around your still foggy brain as you wandered towards the bathroom.
>She never went outside, so how did she make money?
>Flicking the light switch on in the bathroom you closed the door.
>Lifting the toilet seat up you let out a sigh of relief as you began to.. relieve yourself.
>It probably wasn’t any of your business.
>As long as she had her half of the rent at the end of the month then what did it matter.
>Flushing the toilet you walked towards the sink-
>The hell?
>Where the hell was your toothbrush?
>Its usual resting spot, in you nice green cup, was vacant.
>You could have sworn it was here last night.
>Looking around you began checking for it.
>Around the sink, in the cabinet, and just about everywhere else
>Spoting something red by the bathtub you finally found it.
>What the hell was it doing there?
“Stupid toothbrush.”
>The smell hit you the moment you picked it up.
>Slightly sweet with a hint of mustiness.
>In a flash you were fully awake.
>She didn’t-
>Bringing the plastic cleaning device up to your nose you got a full blast of an all too familiar scent.
>You have got to be fucking kidding me!
>That damn horse used your tooth brush to get off.
>This crossed so many different boundaries.
>Anger completely blinded you in an instant.
>Flinging the door open, after you washed your hands of course, you headed straight for the mares room.
>You want to masturbate everywhere? Go right ahead.
>But don’t fucking use my own stuff for your dirty fantasies or toys.
>Growling a bit, you opened the door to her room, all too ready to give her a piece of your mind.
>Inside the scent of a dirty room mixed with what was without a doubt marecum hit you like a damn brick wall.
>There on the bed was the culprit.
>Her breathing was slow, chest rising and falling slowly.
>Before you knew it you stood over her small form.
>Evil thoughts raced through your mind.
>Shave her mane off, dye her coat purple, you know real sick shit.
>Your eyes trailed down her body.
>Are those panties?
>Since when did ponies wear panties?
>They were pulled down right to her fetlocks, showing off her puffy lips.
>The combination of the site and smell which permeated the room gave enough reason for your dick to go to full mast.
>Almost instinctively you reached into your boxers and brought out your hardened cock.
>If she used your stuff to get off, then you were going to use her to do the same.
>Stroking your shaft you imagined just getting on top of her and plunging yourself inside her opening.
>She’d wake up with a moan from the sudden intruder in her most sensitive place.
>First a surprised look would cloud her features, then it would be replaced with longing, begging you to fuck her harder.
>Every thrust would earn a small squeek, her pussy gripping you in an effort to milk the seed out.
>She’d beg you to make her yours, to mark her, ruin her for anyone else.
>You’d slow down, wanting to prolong the feeling of her velvety hole around your cock.
>She’d beg for you to go faster, whimpering as took your time.
>Feeling the pressure build you grunted as the first rope of cum exploded from your tip.
>It sailed through the air and landed right on her face.
>The sight was just too much for your mind.
>Spurt after spurt of cum shot from your dick.
>Every shot landed on her, covering her tuft, her thighs and pussy.
>Breathing heavily you placed your softening dick back in your underwear.
>You should feel bad about what you just did.
>But that could wait.
>You should really get ready for work after all.
>Walking out of the room you looked back for a second.
>She was still asleep and covered in your cum.
>It might have been the morning light coming through the drawn curtains but you could’ve sworn there was a smile on her lips.
>Though it was probably just your imagination.
>That bucking normie.
>He wants a prank war, well he’s going to get one.
>You woke up this morning covered in dried glue, your fur matted down by the dried substance.
>He was going to pay.
>It took you an hour in the bath to get most of it out.
>Looking at your reflection in the bathroom mirror you took in your appearance.
>Messy black hair, albeit clean now framed your face.
>Baggy eyes due to the endless nights playing games and posting on forums.
>Your coat looked clean and shone in the light.
“Eugh, I look like a darn hipster.”
>Your parents always got on your case about personal hygiene and appearance.
>”How are you ever going to reel in a colt if you don’t put in the effort?” They would chide.
>Didn’t they realize that maybe I didn’t want a colt who only wanted the perfect marefriend.
>You weren’t perfect.
>If anything you sat on the opposite side of the spectrum.
>Sticking out your tongue at the reflection you headed out of the bathroom.
>The apartment you shared with the hairless ape was silent in the mid afternoon.
“Time for some nom-noms.”
>Trotting happily towards kitchen you felt the cool air hit your drying mane.
>It felt nice, not that you’d ever admit. After all why would you bother to clean yourself if it only took time away from more important stuff.
>Like browsing game forums and telling other ponies that they’re dumb.
>It always brought a smile to your face when you got one of them really riled up.
>Their attachment to some pointless argument that held no real sway on anything was something that gave you enjoyment.
>Opening the fridge you were met with a blast of cool air.
“That feels so nice.”
>Not really caring you stuck your head in and enjoyed the cool air.
>Head stuck in the fridge you glanced around for something to munch on as the cool air wafted around you.
>A salad container from Celestia knows when?
>Pass.
>A strawberry-banana yogurt?
>That was probably Anon’s.
>Scanning the rest of the fridge turned out to be a pointless endeavor.
>From the looks of it the human hadn’t gone to the store yet for the week.
>And that meant no veggie tendies.
>Peering to the left and right, you made sure the coast was clear.
>Picking up the yogurt with your mouth you did a combat roll away from the fridge.
>The payload secure you needed to sneak back to the safety of your homebase.
>Tummy against the ground you crawled to the couch making sure to make as little noise as possible.
>You were one with the sneakiness.
>Surveying the area you deemed the coast clear.
>Teeth still holding onto the lid of the yogurt cup you snickered.
>There, some five feet away was the door to your room.
>Launching yourself you hooked the side of the door with your hoof.
>The door slammed shut right behind you.
>Mission complete.
>Now for some yogurt.
>Walking over to your computer you turned the screen on.
>Lifting the lid of the yogurt you lapped at it with your tongue as your eyes scanned the screen.
>Spotting a new thread about an upcoming indie game you grinned.
>Time to rustle some saddlebags.
>Hooves moving quickly you began creating the perfect post.
>Biting down on your tongue you thought about phrasing this just right.
>Delivery was just as important as execution after all.
>Going into your zone you lost track of all time.
>All that existed was you and the faceless ponies whom you aimed at aggravating.

>Hearing the door to the apartment open you glanced away from the screen towards the clock on your dresser.
“It’s already past seven. Later than usual.”
>Standing up you craned neck.
>A loud pop filled the darkened room.
>That felt good.
>Heading outside you looked forward to speaking with a certain someone about your morning.

>”You suck at pranks. That glue you threw on me took forever to get out.”
>You nearly choked on the food that you were swallowing at what Floor said.
“Ehg- wh-what?”
>”You heard me idiot, you suck at pranking somepony.”
>The memory of what you did this morning to your roommate ran through your mind.
>You didn’t care this morning your thoughts somehow justifying the actions.
>Now however, all that filled you was guilt.
>You needed to come clean with her.
>She’d probably tear you a new one, hell you’d be surprised if she didn’t call the cops on you.
>But you knew no matter how shitty a person you are, you needed to come clean.
“Floor about that…”
>Her eyes narrowed when your expression turned to one of guilt.
>”What?”
“I did something really bad to you this morning.”
>”Your crappy prank, yeah, I’ve had worse done to me in grade school.”
“It wasn’t a prank.”
>She looked confused.
>”I don’t get it.”
>Those suitcases you had under the bed would probably work for packing all your stuff when this was over.
“I did something to you that I really regret right now.”
>”Okay you’re scaring me, what did you do?”

>Be Floor Bored and quite confused.
>Anon looked guilty as all tartarus.
>He kept saying he did something horrible to you.
>“I got angry after I found my toothbrush this morning.”
>Toothbrush?
>Oh sweet Celestia his toothbrush!
>You left it on the ground after using it for… things.
>So he was still mad and probably ready to chew you out.
>”But when I saw you laying there- fuck, I jerked off on you.”
>He WHAT!?
>So that stuff that was on you this morning wasn’t glue, it was-
>His s-
“What the BUCK is wrong with you!?”
>Scrunching up you growled at the ape.
>”I screwed up.”
“Screwed up, you idiot, screwing up is forgetting to lock the door when you leave the place. This- this is just plain twisted.”
>You were mad.
>No, you were beyond mad.
>Sure you used some of his stuff to get your rocks off, but him doing that, on you…
>Darn it, you were getting wet just thinking about it- arhhhh!
>This was no time for naughty thoughts; you were supposed to be pissed at him.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your monkey butt right now?”
>Looking completely broken he didn’t even dare to look you in the eye.
>”I don’t have one Floor. Whatever you decide I deserve.”
>He really did something gross to you- err on you, was it both? You were sure that it was wrong though.
>”I’ll move out by tomorrow.”
>Wait- what?
“Move out?”
>Nodding the human moved to leave back to his room.
“Hold it right there.”
>His body tensed as he froze in place.
“I may not be the smartest pony, well I’m smarter than most, but YOU leaving isn’t going to fix this.”
>”You want me to turn myself into the police then?”
“Police? No you idiot.”
>You mean, you could turn him in for what he did, but then you’d still have to find a replacement roommate.
>And finding one that put up with you was already a hard enough task.
“Here’s what’s going to happen. Starting tomorrow you do whatever I want.”
>”I don’t understand.”
>You felt the smile on your face grown at his apprehensive and scared face.
“You’re going to do everything I want, no questions asked, and I mean everything.”
>He was scared before, but now he looked utterly terrified.
>It probably wasn’t helped by the fact that your smile was almost manic at this point.
>”Are you sure you don’t want to call the police? I won’t run, I’ll confess to everything.”
“Oh no Anon, you messed up and now you have to pay the price for it.”
>Breathing heavily your mind raced over all the things you could have his perverted normie butt do.
>Make him dress in some racy clothes.
>Hoof massages.
>Taking you out on a d- d- date like all the normal mares go on.
>Giggling you stared the human down.
>He shrank out of fear and your gaze.
>”Floor you’re really starting to scare me right now.”

“Harder Anon, put all your weight into it and give me all you got!”
>Your tummy trembled on the cushion as the human bore down with his hands on your diminutive frame.
>He looked unsure, despite your coaxing that it was okay.
>The pressure increased, eliciting a hearty moan that escaped your lips.
>”Floor, if I push any harder I’ll break you.”
>Unf-
“Don’t be such a drama colt, I can take it, now put those human muscles to work.”
>With a loud pop, you felt the tension in your back release.
>Sighing in relief you felt the human shift from his position on the couch beside you.
>Looking at his face you could see that he wasn’t all too happy with his current lot in life.
>After all you were blackmailing him into doing whatever you wanted… kind of.
>He offered to turn himself in yesterday.
>To which you said no and presented him with a fair option.
>After all, losing him as a roommate wouldn’t solve anything.
>And be perfectly frank, it wouldn’t have been a good outcome for you either.
>Finding a roommate this time of year would be next to impossible.
>Let alone finding one that would be willing to live with a mare of your refined caliber.
>Hearing the human mumble something almost unintelligible, you rolled to see what he was on about now.
“You know what, it’s almost lunch, why don’t you make us some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and when I say us, I mean me.”
>Smiling broadly you noticed the vein on the side of his head throb.
>Oh monkey man is mad, maybe you should reel it in a little.
“And don’t skimp out on the jelly.”
>”Getting molested in a pony prison sounds like never ending vacation compared to this, one with several big tittied sorority girls with unresolved daddy issues.”
“Less talkie more sandwich makey.”
>Giving you a look that would undoubtedly scare any normal mare you watched as the human stood up and headed to the kitchen.
>Oh-
“And make sure it’s on whole wheat.”
>”Fuck you, you little shitstain!”
>Rolling onto your side you pressed the button on the remote for the tv.
>Crap.
>Crap.
>Day time tv sucks something awful.
>The patter of his feet approaching was accented with a plate being slammed on the living room table.
>The sandwiches threatened to go flying, but remained safely on the plate.
“You didn’t cut the crust off.”
>”I would drown you in the tub if you ever took a bath.”
>Sticking out your tongue you picked up a sandwich with your hooves.
“You can go away now.”
>He extended his middle digit in some strange human custom that probably meant that he understood before returning to his room.
>The door slamming behind him indicated that you were alone to enjoy your meal.
>What should you have him do next?

“You can’t be fucking serious?”
>”I am. Now here’s the bits for everything, and make sure to tell the manager that if the upcoming games don’t have special edition I don’t want them.”
>To add to the list of things you’ve done that were immediately regretted you were now an errand boy.
>Floor Bored, besides being a shut in, was now ordering you around like a personal butler.
>Her latest task, go to the local game shop and pick up all her orders.
>Looking into the bit bag she hooved you your eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“Floor, there has to be close to five hundred bits in here. Where the hell did you get all this?”
>”Stop with the questions and get my stuff.”
“Bitch.”
>”Language Anon, we wouldn’t want to upset me in my fragile state after your barbaric act.”
>If looks could kill… well she’d be dead.
>Grabbing the keys from the little hook beside the door you headed to complete your latest menial task.
>The shop wasn’t particularly far from your apartment, but using the little free time you had having to travel there was still a pain in the ass.
>The streets weren’t at all busy.
>What few ponies were still around looked to be headed home.
>Some families walked together smiling and laughing all the while.
>Was it so much to ask for to have that kind of life?
>Instead you were stuck in a dead end job, living with a mare who was blackmailing you, in an apartment that noticeably smelled marecum.
>Shoulders slumped in resignation, you continued walking towards your destination.
>The shop was a small one, catering to fans of games, comics, and all things collectible.
>Truly a nerds paradise.
>But you weren’t a nerd.
>You were a completely normal person with hopes and dreams in a land of colorful equines.
>Gripping the handle to the shop you took a deep breath.
>No reason to panic Anon, it’s not like this was a sex shop or something, just go in, buy her damn stuff and go home.
>Opening the door you stepped through the threshold.
>In an instant you felt multiple sets of eyes turn and fix themselves on the intruder.
>The small shop was packed tightly with various tables, filled with boxes of comics.
>And the mares that filled the shop were frozen in place, their eyes fixed on you.
“Uh, hi.”
>No response.
>The mares instead turned to each other and began talking in hushed tones.
>Whatever, you had a job to do.
>Walking to the counter where a mare with freckles sat, you took out the list Floor gave you.
“I’m here to pick up these things for Floor Bored.”
>The red mares mouth opened and closed, much like a fish, unknowing of what to say.
“Um, do you speak engl- I mean equish?”
>Now shaking the mare let out a squeek before ducking under the counter.
>Son of a bitch.
>”You’ll have to forgive Hobby, she doesn’t take well to strangers, or colts, or just about anything else.”
>Looking behind you, there stood a mare wearing a sweater.
“Oh, I thought I might have said something wrong.”
>Smiling the mare walked up to the counter and looked over the list.
>”Hobby it’s okay, you can come out now, he’s not going to hurt you.”
>”Are you sure?”
>”How about I show him around the shop so you can get all his things.”
>”That’d be swell.”
>”By the way, my names Moondancer. Why don’t we give her some time to get your stuff together.”
“Fine by me.”
>”And this is where we hold our weekly tabletop game tournaments.”
>Moondancer smiled as she pointed to the large table.
>It’s surface was covered by grass, some mountains, and what looked like lake with some realistic looking water.
“Looks pretty cool, how do you make the waves on the water?”
>”Magic.”
>Should’ve figured as much, everything in this world basically ran on magic.
>The electricity, sunrise, sunset, all of it.
>”Maybe if yo- you’re not busy sometime, you could come and join in…”
>The mare tugged on the neck of her sweater awkwardly.
“I’d like that.”
>”I understand, should’ve known you’d be too bu- wait, you would?”
>Moondancer’s face quickly turned from crestfallen into a full blown smile.
>You also thought you heard a small sqeee come from her, but that was probably just your imagination.
“Yup.”
>A bright light filled your vision as she disappeared then reappeared, her magic holding a quill and parchment.
>”We meet on Sundays at noon. Make sure to bring some snacks and drinks, we normally order a pizza for dinner…”
>Eagerly she wrote all the information down, her quill scratching against the parchment frantically.
>Holding the paper for you to take Moondancer gave you another smile.
>”M- Mr- Mr. Anon, I have your order ready.”
>The shy mare from earlier stood some feet away, her eyes fixed on the ground.
“Be right there. It was nice to meet you Moondancer, I guess I’ll see you on Sunday.”

>After paying for Floor’s order you politely waved goodbye to the ponies in the shop.
>Some even waved back.
>They probably saw that you weren’t a monster bent on hell, death, and destruction, out to ruin their getaway.
>That and you even met a nice mare.
>The walk back to the apartment was a quiet affair.
>The streets were lit by lamps and even fewer ponies populated them than before.
>Reaching the apartment door you put your keys in the lock.
>Opening the door your nose was assaulted by the heavy scent of marecum.
>It was overwhelming.
“Holy fuckballs.”
>Looking around for your roommate you spotted Floor’s body draped on the couch.
>She was snoring quite loudly, her bottom half completely soaked and hoof still glistening with what you could only assume to be her own cum.
>You were going to need to burn that couch later.
“You could at least do this in your own room Floor.”
>Putting the bag down and closing the door behind you, you walked over to the snoozing pony.
>She’ll probably catch a cold if you left her here, not that she didn’t deserve it for being this irresponsible.
>Picking her up you carried her limp form towards her room.
>Opening the door turned out to be the biggest obstacle however.
>Cradling her in one arm turned out to be the answer to the problem.
>Maneuvering carefully through the empty soda cans and liter you reached her bed.
“You really need to clean your room, this place is a sty.”
>Putting Floor down you covered her with the comforter that lay on the ground beside her bed.
>Now about that couch.
>Hopefully that container of lighter fluid was still under the sink.
>But would it be enough.
>Then there’s the issue of having to get a new couch.
>Perhaps you should try cleaning it up first.
>Walking over your eyes grew in amazement.
“Jesus, it looks like someone popped a water balloon on this thing.”

>Be a slightly asleep Floor Bored.
>And at the moment you were in that spot between being asleep and awake.
>Is there anything better, especially after a good wank.
>Anon was sure taking his time getting your stuff, so naturally you did what you always did when bored.
>Now however you felt your body being lifted up with two warm hands holding you close.
>The warmth of another body washed over you.
>This was nice.
>But all too quickly it was replaced by the cushiony feel of a bed and a comforter being placed over you.
>The haze which only mildly enveloped you before completely took over as you felt yourself drifting off.
>Before dreamland fully enveloped you however you could’ve sworn you heard a faint “What the fuck! It’s on the tv too?!”

>Pushing the couch onto the curb you wiped the sweat off your brow.
>Thankfully the street was deserted so you would avoid the embarrassing questions about what exactly made the couch look like it was hosed down.
>You tried salvaging the thing, but it was a lost cause. The newest stains and the ones she hid by Floor flipping the cushions made you reconsider some previous opinions about mare.
>She was dirty, antisocial, and masturbated way too much.
>”Anon, is that you?”
>Turning towards the familiar voice you found the sweater wearing mare you met earlier today.
>Her name was… Monster Danger- no that’s not right.
>Magic dong… no, definitely not. I mean who would name her daughter that?
>God almighty playing tetris did you suck at remembering names.
“Ah hi there-- uh Moonie.”
>Please let that be at least in the same hemisphere as her name.
>Her face grew red, probably out of anger at you not remembering her name.
>She was going to yell at you wasn’t she?
>”You’re funny, no one’s ever called me that before, but I like it.”
>Thank god.
”Good, so what brings you to my neck of the woods?”
>Now sporting a somewhat shy smile she pointed to the small house that sat right beside your apartment building.
>”I live there.”
>You never really paid any attention to your neighbors.
>Looking at her home, it looked a bit worn down. The grass was overgrown and looked like it needed a good mow, the vines were also creeping up the sides and would probably start messing with the structure soon.
>Her property value was going to plummet if she didn’t start taking care of the-
>”So- do you want to come in and have some tea?”
>After the day you’ve had, some tea sounded like a great idea.
“Sounds good to me.”

>The apartment door slamming closed woke you up effectively.
>And you were having such a good dream.
>Groaning you rolled off the bed, landing expertly on your hooves despite the grogginess.
>Years of practice were finally paying off.
>Yawning, feeling dehydrated as heck you headed out of your room to get something to drink.
>…
>Why does it feel like you were missing some important fact-
>WHAT THE BUCK!
>Where was the COUCH?
>Were you robbed? This was supposed to be a relatively safe neighborhood. That’s what the brochure said.
>What if they were still in the apartment? Waiting for you to let your guard down.
>They would overpower you and have their way with you.
>Your neighponese comics were right all along.
>Dropping to the ground you felt the cool floor against your tummy.
“I know you’re here.”
>You weren’t scared at all, those fighting games taught you about the secret arts of hoof to hoof combat.
>...
“You can’t fool me. Well if you think you’re just going to have your way with this pure mare you got another thing coming.”
>Your apartment remained silent, save for the clock on the wall ticking away.
>These colts were good-
>But what if it was a bunch of mares.
>Sure you didn’t swing that way, but they wouldn’t care in the least.
>If there were two of them they could easily overpower your small petite frame and make you do whatever their perverted wiles willed.
>Hearing the noise of a droplet hitting the ground you looked for the source.
>Is that drool?
>Did YOU just drool at the prospect of being taken advantage of by two mares?
>Maybe you should lay off the comics for a little while, they were giving you some really naughty ideas.
>Low crawling to the window you raised your head to sneak a peek over the edge to the outside.
>They probably had a lookout out there, making sure that the coast was clear-
>THERE!
>Standing just underneath a streetlamp you could make out two silhouettes.
>Wait- isn’t that Moondancer?
>Was she in on it?
>Was that why she befriended you, all a plot to let her friends have their with you?
>She was talking to somepony, of that you were sure.
>Just how many ponies were plotting on taking advantage of your purity?
>Oh wait, that’s just Anon.
>The fear was replaced with relief, Anon might’ve been a weirdo, but he wouldn’t do that-
>Sure he did do that thing, but he wasn’t all bad. You think.
>Jumping to your hooves you squinted at their forms in the darkness.
“Just what the hay are those two doing out there at this time of night. Don’t they know there are weirdos prowling the city streets!”
>Moondancer pointed to her home and said something to Anon.
>You really wished you watched that instructional video on reading lips, it would have definitely been beneficial right now.
“Darn it, I can’t make out what they’re saying.”
>Anon nodded before following her.
“No Anon! She’s planning something evil, she’s going to tie you up in her rape dungeon!”
>The probability of her having one might have been miniscule, but it was still possibility.
>Looking around frantically you prayed for the ponice to show up and stop this- this- whatever this was!
>Both their forms disappeared into the home, leaving the street empty.
>Why wasn’t anypony doing anything to stop this!?
>Somepony had to stop this…
>Swallowing loudly you turned towards the door.
“Looks like it’s up to you Floor, you have to brave the evil that lives beyond the confines of this place to save an all too naïve colt.”
>Gathering all your courage you walked to the apartment door.
>Hoof mere inches away from the handle you hesitated.
>This was the first time you were going outside in forever.
>Feeling yourself shaking slightly, you willed yourself to open the door.
>This wasn’t the time for hesitation, you had a colt to save.

>”Just –uh sit anywhere.”
>And where exactly was that supposed to be?
>The chairs surrounding the table at which she pointed, were littered with various items.
>Scrolls, empty jars of ink, half-painted figures, and what appeared to be a decently old chineighs take-out cluttered the table itself and the chairs.
“O-ok.”
>Walking towards the catastrophe that was Moondancer’s dining room, you couldn’t help but think of something jumping out of the clutter and attacking you.
>God almighty above, she was worse than Floor, way worse.
>It took weeks to get Floor used to the idea that anything that was trash belonged in the—well trashcan.
>Not a hard concept at all, but Moondancer appeared to have been cast from the very same mold.
>”Do you want milk or honey in your tea?” Moondancers voiced echoed to you from her kitchen.
“Honey’s fine, lemon if you have it.”
>All the while, your eyes remained trained on the colossal mess.
>Okay Anon, all you have to do is pick it up and cle- ok, that thing fucking moved.
>Nope.
>Just nope.
“Moondancer, do you have any pets or something like that?”
>The bag upon hearing your voiced jumped and turned in your direction menacingly.
>”No, why do you ask?”
>Back away slowly, very slowly from the bag which was definitely wriggling on the chair.
“No reason, how about I just join you in the kitchen.”
>Never letting the bag leave your sight, you side stepped towards Moondancers voice, because if you did turn your back on it, some god awful thing was going to emerge from that bag and attack.
>You were sure of it.
>Feeling your knee make contact with something you peered down.
>Moondancer was looking at you with a confused expression on her face.
>”You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Just peachy, now how about that tea.”
>Nodding slowly, you followed the cream mare towards the kitchen, mind racing as to what else was living inside her home.
>Stepping into the kitchen you were taken aback by its state.
>It was—clean?
>Turning back to the dining room you let the carnage invade your sight, before switching back to the pristine kitchen.
>Why? How?
>You had so many questions at the moment, but they were all brushed aside as Moondancer resumed her jolly task of making you both some tea.
>Humming a tune to herself, the mare moved to the music which only she could hear, as she worked her magic.
>Literally.
>The kettle was floating in the air, pouring the boiled water into two identical cups.
>”I can’t wait for the weekend, you’re going to have so much fun when you come.”
>Stepping up to the kitchen’s island which separated the two of you, you leaned over, resting your arms against the empty surface.
“I’m looking forward to it, work always keeps me pretty busy, so getting out of the house and socializing a little will do me some good.”
>Giggling lightly she turned around, two cups of steaming tea floated in the magic coming from her horn.
>”You might be in for a surprise, as are the others. We rarely get stallions to join our games.”
>This confused you a little.
“Why? It seems like a fun game, then again I haven’t got an idea about how it’s played.”
>”Most stallions prefer sports and not many of them actually like to play it. Sure, there are some in the bigger tournaments but we’re a small shop.”
>That made sense, you think.
“I think I-“
>A loud thud echoed through the house, making your tea cup rattle on the surface on which it sat.
“The hell was that?”
>Realization hit you like a ton of bricks. It was something else alive in the house, it probably was coming after you since you were an intruder in its homologous system.
>Fear spread across your features.
>You were about to make a break for your life, but Moondancer’s confused face stopped you.
>No doubt that if it was something living within her home she wouldn’t be all too confused by it.
>”That sounded almost like the-“
>Another thud, followed by eerie silence surrounded you both, hell, even the bag which rustling could be heard from where you stood, was quiet.
>”Front door.”
>Like a mare on a mission, Moondancer walked towards the hallway, her expression that of someone who’d not been expecting any visitors.
>As you had all night, you followed her diligently just in case.
>Who knows what kind of weirdo’s were out at this time of night.
>The hallway was quiet, the sole lamp illuminating the wooden floor and painting hung on the walls.
>Another thud resounded against the door making both of you jump.
>Difference being, that this time you definitely heard a distinguishable “Owie” coming from behind it.
>Monsters and burglars didn’t say “owie” when attempting to break inside a home, of this you were almost certain.
>Then again things in this crazy world rarely made sense to you.
>Magic, mythological creatures, and talking ponies, all these things greatly impacted your perception of what was supposed to make sense.
>Moondancer cautiously walked towards the door, apprehension evident by her slow and calculated steps.
>Groaning inwardly you reached out and stopped her, by gripping the hem of her sweater.
“Maybe I should see who it is.”
>You were going to die, weren’t you?
>Your ego, was going to get you killed the moment you opened that door.
>”You sure?”
>Nodding, you began your journey towards your end.
>You led a good life so far. Sure, you never met that mare of your dreams, but it wasn’t a total waste.
>Each footfall sounded like an explosion in your ears as you neared the looming door, which definitely looked much more sinister than when you first walked through it.
>Reaching out with your hand, you gripped the door handle, ready to meet your fate on the other side.
>Exhaling, you jerked the door open and peered into the darkness outside, ready to stare down the beas-
“The hell?”
>There was nothing there.
>The street was deserted, the crickets being the only noise out in the open.
>Looking down you finally saw the source of all the panic.
>It was Floor.
>Laying on the “Welcome” doormat, clutching her hooves to her head, the petite mare rubbed her head in an attempt to alleviate her pain.
>Judging by the look of that bump growing on her head it was going to be a bad one.
>Your roommate was wearing what appeared to be some sort of armor, complete with that ridiculous fake sword she kept in her room.
“Floor, what in god’s name are you doing out here at this hour?”

>You were here to save Anon from that vile temptress Moondancer.
>She almost had you fooled before, acting all sweet and saying all those nice things and getting to know you.
>It was all just an act, of that you were sure.
>Now you were going to fight her for Anon’s safety.
>So when did everything go so wrong?
>Clad in armor, your mighty weapon strapped to your back, you pushed into the unknown, all in an effort to save the naïve colt.
>A look of determination graced your features, as you readied to break through the door, defeat the evil sorceress, and rescue the fair maiden Anon.
>An act which, without a doubt, would earn you some tummy rubs.
>Sure, you still sort of could make him do whatever you wanted, but it was the principle of the thing.
>Tummy rubs, were after all, serious business.
>If Anon was indebted to you due to being saved, those hands of his were going to really put in some extra effort.
>This was all the motivation you needed, eyes narrowed you readied yourself for the very important entrance.
>Hero’s always make a amazing entrance.
>Launching forward you felt the initial contact of head on wooden door.
>Stars filled your vision and all sense of where you were escaped your mind.
“Owie.”
>Crumpling to the ground in a heap, you clutched your head in pain.
>This looked a whole lot easier in the comics you read, and there was definitely a lack of information on possible concussions resulting from bashing a head against a door.
>NO!
>You wouldn’t be deterred.
>There was a stallion that needed saving and you were about the only mare with the ovaries big enough to do it.
>Rising to your hooves, you shakily took in the door standing between you and glory.
>STOP being such a filly about this Floor, just break this thing DOWN!
>With a renewed vigor you charged at the door again.
>Buck this door!
>Remember that headache? Yeah, it was only getting worse.
>The doormat beneath you felt like a feathery bed as you moaned in pain.
>What the tartarus was that door made of?
>“Floor, what in god’s name are you doing out here at this hour?”
>A very familiar voice seemed to be wondering the very question you were starting to ponder.
>Why were you out here again?
>…
>Yeah, you got nothing.
>But it didn’t matter.
>Your ancestors were speaking to you now, ready to take you up to the great beyond.
>A place where energy drinks never lost their fizziness, and video games didn’t suck.
>”I think I’m going to have to get a raincheck on that tea Moondancer. I need to get this one home before she really hurts herself.”
>Yes, take me to my resting place o fair harbinger of death.
>”Floor, do you need to go to the hospital?”
“My ancestors are awaiting me in the beyond, prepare the tribute of soda and chips!”
>”Hospital it is. Have a good night Moondancer.”
>Your body began to lift off the ground, suspended by two warm arms.
“I have earned my place among my warrior ancestors at last.”
“R-right.”

>You always knew that Floor was an odd little mare.
>And we’re not talking about the “just a little” odd levels you usually get with a nerdy girl whose just shy and sort of cute in her own way.
>No sir, Floor was definitely a special case.
>Her prone form on the hospital bed, and the set of circumstances which led to her being in it,  was a testament to that.
>Her head was bandaged, the doctors said she suffered a mild concussion brought on by blunt force trauma.
“You really are a pain in the ass, you know that?”
>Floor, as if sensing your statement was directed at her, let out a particularly loud snore.
>She never could resisted getting in the last word in any conversation you two had, even the ones that she was asleep for.
“Pain.in.my.ass.”
>Another snore followed.
>God damn little shit.
>”You do know visiting hours are over sir.”
>Jumping at the sudden voice you turned towards the now open door.
>Trotting into the room was a dignified looking mare, clad in a doctors coat and thick framed glasses, her auburn mane done up in a bun.
>Even the air around her said I know what I’m talking about so shut your damn face.
>Her nametag read “Dr. Script”
>Holy crap, you never even heard the door open. This doctor pony was a goddamn ninja.
“Is Floor going to be okay?”
>”Aside from the visible head injury, she’ll be just fine. Thankfully you brought her in quickly, we gave her some triamcinolone acetonide to relieve the swelling.”
“Tria-“
>”Try not to hurt yourself attempting to pronounce it. Now, she’s going to need some rest so I think you should head home and get some yourself.”
>Her eyes never left the clipboard that had a bunch of paperwork regarding Floor and the extent of her injuries.
>You only continued to sit, adamant at staying by your roommates side.
>”That wasn’t a request.”
“I’m sorry, but I cant just leave her alone.”
>Peering at you, she let out a tired sigh.
>”We already contacted her next of kin, they’ll be here shortly. So go home and get some rest.”
“Wait—next of kin? As in her family?”
>”Typically next of kin are family. In Miss Floor Bored’s case, her parents. ”
>You could tell by her tone that she was definitely beginning to lose her patience.
>”Okay, we have some bunks for visiting relatives at the end of the hall. If you’re so darn set at staying here just go in there so I can get some work done.”
>Placing the clipboard in the receptacle at the end of Floor’s bed, she faced you with a bored expression.
>”Or I could just call security and have you thrown out, either way I don’t care.”
“I’ll just go to the room with the bunks.”
>Taking one final look at Floor’s form you left the room with the pissy doctor.
>As you walked through the completely deserted hallway it hit just how tired you really were.
>Striding past the doors, you scanned the placards beside them, looking for the one that held the bunks where you could get some shut-eye.
>The room itself was at the very end of the hall, devoid of anyone else, which was just fine by you.
>Laying down, you felt the mattress engulf you in its softness.
>Ponies always liked being all cushy and comfy, you however preferred a firmer one, but beggars couldn’t be choosers at this point.
>Wait-
>Floor family!
>They were coming to see her.
>Holy shit.
>She never spoke about her family, then again the topic never really came up before.
>Not to say that you weren’t curious as to the upbringing someone like Floor received to be in her state of mind.
>What were her parents like?
>Were they like her? Completely irresponsible and perverted?
>Feeling yourself begin to drift off, you closed your eyes, sleep finally overtook you.

>”Just how long are you planning on sleeping in honey?”
>Honey? Sleeping in?
>Did you fall asleep at the strip club again?
>Opening your eyes you were greeted by a sight of a pony looking down at you with a big smile on her muzzle.
>”Good you’re up. Now go wash up, breakfast will be ready soon.”
>The pony which stood, her hooves beside your prone form, gracefully hopped down before merrily trotting out the room.
>What the shit was happening?
>Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you swung your legs over the side of the bed, the cold floor sending a chill up your spine as they made contact.
>Who the hell was that mare? And most importantly why the fuck was she calling you “honey”?
>Body completely on autopilot, you walked past the opening that led to the bathroom, and into the hallway.
>Where were you? This place looked familiar, almost reminiscent of your apartment, but it was so—so different.
>The halls were painted a soothing light blue, the carpet was devoid of any stains.
>This place felt so foreign to you.
>Walking into the living room the place displayed a clear parallel to what you knew.
>It was clean. Everything was wiped down, no empty soda bottles littered the table, and hey—
>Would you look at that, your couch, it was there. Minus the stains of course.
>”Honey, are you okay?”
>There standing in the doorway to the kitchen was the mare again.
>Her face displayed worry and concern.
“Who—who are you?”
>”Sweetie, are you feeling okay?”
“No seriously, who are you? Last I checked the pony I lived with was Floor, and-“
>The pony’s face turned into one of confusion, slightly cocking to the side.
>”Well of course, it would be weird if we didn’t live together.”
>To say that you were confused would be an understatement.
>Flinging the apron she was wearing off with a wiggle, the mare walked up to you and placed her hooves on your thighs.
>”Maybe you should sit down, you’re really starting to worry me.”
>That’s probably a good idea.
>Walking over to the couch you sat down and leaned back.
>This was just way too weird.
>Feeling the cushions shift, you diverted your gaze to the left where the mystery mare made herself comfortable beside you.
>Her coat was like Floor’s, the color anyway. But her’s looked like she took care of it. No odd stains, or clumped fur, in fact, from the looks of it, she probably washed and brushed it everyday.
>The same could be said about her mane.
>The bags Floor had under her eyes weren’t to be found on her face either.
>And her cutie mark—
>Oh sweet baby Jesus.
“F-Floor?”
>”Yes honey.”
“You really are Floor Bored, aren’t you?”
>The mare moved and laid across your lap, letting out a giggle as she did.
>”Last I checked, unless you’re thinking of trying out that roleplaying we tried during our honeymoon.”
>The room began to spin and the feeling of lightheadedness overtook you.
>Floors giggling took on an eerie echo, circling around you and the room.

>”Mr. Anon.”
>Two hooves shook your body, trying to rouse you from your sleep.
>”Mr. Anon, we need you to get up.”
“Wha- what? Where am I?”
>”Sir, you’re in the hospital guest room. We kind of need you to get up, the cleaning ponies can’t do their jobs unless you leave.”
>Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you tried to orient yourself.
>That dream, that fucking dream.
>What the fuck?
>”The doctor also wanted me to let you know that Miss Bored has regained consciousness.”
>She was awake.
“Thanks.”
>Getting up quickly, you felt a little disoriented, but pushed through it, moving quickly out of the room and towards the one that contained your roommate.

>Ever see that movie with all those dinosaurs that eat the shit out of people? You know the one.
>In particular, that scene where the guy runs away and locks himself in a room, thinking he’s safe only to see some sharp teeth the moment he turns around.
>You now knew how that poor bastard felt, only instead of sharp teeth and dinosaurs, you had two ponies giving you the very same pointed looks.
>You didn’t like those looks, they were cold and calculating, and all around just not very welcoming.
“Uh- sorry, I think I have the wrong ro--”
>”No, you don’t Anon, mom, dad, will move for a second.”
>Watching the older stallion and mare move, you saw Floor. Her head was still bandaged, but judging by… was she smiling?
>What the fuck? Since when did Floor smile like that?
>It looked carefree, and dare you say happy?
“Hey there, so… uh… how’re you feeling?”
>Floors gaze slightly wavered to the two other occupants in the room before coming back to you.
>You weren’t an idiot-- not a complete idiot, anyway. They were her parents, no doubt about it.
>The mare had the same color mane as Floor, black and shiny, albeit without the greasiness that accompanied Floor’s, and looked as if she spent a lot on getting it fancied up.
>As for the stallion. Well… he was looking at you like he wanted to do nothing more than kick your ass.
>Luckily enough for you he was a thigh high marshmallow horse.
>So there was a thirty percent chance you could take him… maybe.
>”I’m feeling good, the doctor gave me medicine for the headache.”
>You were still asleep. That had to be it, there was no way Floor would be acting so happy in the face of all this.
>For gods sake, she was talking in a room with more than the two of you in it.
>And she wasn’t a stuttering mess.
>”You must be Anon, Floor told us so much about you. I’m Willow Ease and this is my husband Stout Liner.”
>You nearly jumped when you heard the unfamiliar voice.
>The mare and stallion both stood side-by-side now, both holding those same cold looks, which were of course, directed at you.
“It’s nice to meet you both.”
>An awkward silence permeated the room with only the chatter of the hospital hallway leaking underneath the gap in the door to the room.
>Fuck
>Say something dammit!
“So, how about that weather eh?”
>”Cut the crap, the doctor wouldn’t tell us how it happened, but my gut tells me you’re responsible for what happened to my daughter. Start talking or else.”
>And small horse is angry at you.
>Peachy
>>Instinctively you reached up and massaged your temple with your hand, mind trying to find a way to phrase things that wouldn’t make a bad situation any worse.
>”Dad, I told you it was my fault.”
>Wait- what?
>Was Floor actually taking responsibility for her actions?
>”I told you, I wasn’t paying attention and walked into a door. Anon found me and brought me to the hospital.”
>Nope, never mind. It would probably be too much to hope for her to do something like that.
>”And I told you, young lady, that’s a load of horse apples. Now tell me what YOU did?”
>He accented the ‘You’ with a jab of his hoof right into your leg.
“I didn’t do anything.”
>”Liar! I swear I’ll beat it out of y-”
>”Sweetie calm down, you know what the doctor said about working yourself up like this.”
>Floors mom choosing to help out in this rapidly escalating situation, placed one hoof on the angry stallions back, her voice calm and soothing.
>The rampaging stallion inhaled deeply before exhaling and eyeing you up with barely restrained hate.
>”Let’s try this again. What happened to my daughter?”
“I was over a friends place last night, we heard a noise, went outside and saw Floor unconscious on the ground. Naturally I brought her here.”
>The stallion narrowed his eyes, searching for any sign that you were lying.
>Fat chance angry horse, Papa Anon didn’t raise a liar, maybe a closet horsefucker, but not a liar.
>”See sweetie, it’s just like Floor said. Now will you please apologize to her coltfriend so we can put all this behind us.”
>That would have been a kind act by Floor’s mom, save for the fact the tone she used was a nice combination of ‘I don’t want to be here’ and “I know almost everyone in this room is full of shit’.
>Wait a tick…
>What he just say-
>Coltfriend…
>No
>No no no--
“I think there-”
>All three pairs of eyes were set on you.
>Floor’s parents eyes were a display of waiting, plotting, ready to unleash the hell spawn hidden behind the veil upon you.
>Or confusion.
>But it was Floor, that truly made you shut up.
>Behind those green orbs she was frantically screaming to you.
>Saying ‘Please Anon, just play along, I beg of you!’
“I think I left my house keys back in that room, I’ll be right back.”
>Nervously chuckling, you eased yourself out.
>Good fucking god, her parents were “different”, if that’s the word for it.
>Not in the ‘Seriously repressive’ atmosphere bad, more along the lines of ‘we’re fucking insane’ bad, it’s actually impressive that Floor turned out as well as she did.
>This was definitely going to be n interesting day, that’s for sure.