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INDOXXI
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1
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,793
Action.

2
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,338
Cool.

3
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,474
Zoe, time for school!

4
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:52,277
ZOE
I'm brushing my teeth!

5
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,351
So I get a call at seven in
the morning. And they say oh

6
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:38,257
by the way, Zoe needs to bring
three dozen cupcakes to school

7
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:42,494
for a play this afternoon.
This is seven am THIS morning

8
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,364
you understand. I've got
an order of studs arriving,

9
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,499
I gotta be at the
construction site by nine AM

10
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,569
so in my free time, sure,
why not get in some baking?

11
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,507
Oh, and they gotta be pink.
Everything is pink right now.

12
00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:59,912
Oscar!

13
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,613
Can I get a little help in here?

14
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,683
The waffles are burning.

15
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,928
OSCAR
Um, Sal?

16
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:19,198
There's blood dripping through
the ceiling fixture again.

17
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,903
Zoe!

18
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,989
SAL We re busy having
a domestic disaster. Leave a message.

19
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,627
ZILLA
Um, hi Dad, it's Zilla.

20
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,263
I just wanted to call
and see how you re doing.

21
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,932
Actually, I thought
I might come home for a visit.

22
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:58,604
Just to say hi. So, you
know, pick up the phone.

23
00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:07,446
Zoe! If you lock this
thing one more time I swear

24
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,281
I will cut it off
with a power saw.

25
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,516
You know this is for
emergency use only.

26
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,885
When someone is
downstairs trying to murder you

27
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,722
you get to lock
this door, not before.

28
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:22,394
Now I know you re in
there. Come out of the closet.

29
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,829
Look at you.

30
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,464
It's the last day of school.

31
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,966
Can't you keep your
uniform clean for ten seconds?

32
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:31,336
How does it reflect on me as a
father if you show up to school

33
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:33,372
covered in blood every day?

34
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:36,441
Come on,
let's get you in the shower.

35
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,052
ZILLA
Hi Dad, Zilla again.

36
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:51,723
Look, I'd really like to talk to
you before I get home.

37
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,759
Actually, I have some news.

38
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,894
I'm not pregnant.
And I haven't been arrested...

39
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,864
So keep that in mind
when you hear my news, okay?

40
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:01,900
It's important to keep
perspective about these things.

41
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,309
I can't believe all
her school uniforms have

42
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,310
bloodstains on them.

43
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,478
Hey, it's not my fault.

44
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,014
Do I look like some
kind of fashion expert?

45
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,383
There's a difference between
identifying a fashion trend

46
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,986
and identifying
a bloodstain, Oscar.

47
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,655
I forgot my costume!

48
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,858
I'm late.
Can't you go on without it?

49
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,062
I can't be in a play
without my costume.

50
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,598
It's the only thing we re
doing today. Just the play.

51
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,251
I ll take her home.

52
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,903
No you won't. She ll show up in
some kind of ghoul ensemble.

53
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,972
I ll go.

54
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,691
You forgot to bring your costume

55
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,760
or you forgot to
make your costume?

56
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,929
You forgot the cupcakes.

57
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,997
Son of a...

58
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:17,843
Pink.

59
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,446
Dad?

60
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,515
Zilla?

61
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,084
What are you
doing home from school?

62
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,303
We weren't expecting you.

63
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,521
ZILLA Actually Dad,
there's something I have to tell you.

64
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,657
You re pregnant.

65
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:34,993
You know, just because you
and Mom got pregnant in college

66
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,728
doesn't mean everyone
makes the same mistake.

67
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,130
Not in front of your sister.

68
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,131
So-so you re not...?

69
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:41,967
No. No chance whatsoever.

70
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:44,035
Oh. Good!

71
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,738
Well we re in a
huge hurry here, honey

72
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,039
so maybe we can
talk later this afternoon-

73
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,942
ZILLA
Dad, I really need to talk now.

74
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,445
I need raw meat.

75
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,514
In the fridge.

76
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,451
Are you having
problems at school?

77
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:00,786
And the internship?

78
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,722
I, um-I turned that down.

79
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,158
That was a really
good internship, Zilla.

80
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,160
How are you supposed to
get into a good med school if-

81
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,695
Look Dad, if you re going to
freak out about the internship

82
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,165
you re really not going to
be able to handle my news.

83
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:16,352
There's more news?

84
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,538
So there's this kind of crazy,
angry PTA mom on the phone?

85
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:22,607
And she says that they re
missing 36 pink cupcakes.

86
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,479
She seems to be under the
impression that you stole them.

87
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,850
Hi, Zilla.

88
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,919
Hi, Uncle Oscar.

89
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:37,122
Just-tell them
they re on the way.

90
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:41,493
Could-could you just tell
her? Frankly she's scary, bro.

91
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,094
Dad, we re going to be late!

92
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:48,600
Okay. Oscar, you take
Zoe to school. Then call

93
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,202
the construction site and tell
them we re going to be late.

94
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:53,839
Tell them there's been
some kind of freak accident.

95
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:56,908
I ll tell them there's
been a kite boarding collision.

96
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,012
Whatever.

97
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,082
How do you feel
about helping me bake?

98
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,391
This is disgusting.

99
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,759
They don't have to taste good,
honey, they just have to exist.

100
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,763
So what's your news?

101
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,866
Before I tell you, I want you to
promise that you ll

102
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,985
be happy for me.

103
00:08:22,986 --> 00:08:25,103
How can I promise that, honey?
I don't know what the news is.

104
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,273
Well, it's something
that makes me happy.

105
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:32,177
Well frankly, I don't
know what makes you happy.

106
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:36,982
I mean, maybe you've always
wanted to be a trapeze artist.

107
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,984
I'm not going to
applaud you for leaving college

108
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,652
to join the circus.

109
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,822
Or maybe you met
a handsome drug dealer.

110
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:46,291
I mean, just tell me
what the news is honey.

111
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,927
Do you want me to guess?

112
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,997
Well, the second one is closer.

113
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,638
You re squeezing out
all the frosting, Zilla.

114
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,107
Now I don't have any frosting.

115
00:09:06,896 --> 00:09:09,013
Okay, let's just say
hypothetically I promise to be

116
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:12,551
happy with your news.
Hypothetically, in what category

117
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,586
would this news fall?

118
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:19,090
It would fall in
the love category.

119
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,259
Oh God. That's
worse than I thought.

120
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:24,930
CUSTOMER ..And I'd like some of
those orange ones with the sprinkles.

121
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,198
Not the round orange sprinkles.

122
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,885
The cylindrical
orange sprinkles.

123
00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:32,571
Excuse me, is this something
that could possibly be sped up?

124
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:35,206
Because we re kind of in
a time sensitive situation here.

125
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,776
Excuse me, but I think
I have as much of a right to

126
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,312
personalize my confectionery
choices as you do.

127
00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:43,815
Oh, I'm not denying that right.
It's just that, well, we have to

128
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,185
get three dozen pink cupcakes
in the next sixty seconds

129
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,821
or I'm going to miss what's left
of my daughter's school play.

130
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:52,224
Well, what kind of cupcakes?

131
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,626
We have raspberry strawberry,
marionberry, red velvet-

132
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:58,196
Any kind!
Just make them pink!

133
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:15,080
Now listen, Zilla. We have to
go in there and see what's left

134
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,215
of your sister's play,
and if you don't tell me

135
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:20,352
what your news is first,
I will write you out of my will.

136
00:10:20,354 --> 00:10:23,622
Fine. I'm getting married.

137
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:26,958
What?

138
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:31,830
Married? You re getting
married? You are 21 years old.

139
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,665
You married Mom
when you were 19!

140
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,001
Oh, and that was a
brilliant idea, wasn't it?

141
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:40,105
I mean, do you see your
mother around anywhere?

142
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,273
Have you heard from
her in the past eight years?

143
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,209
You wouldn't even
know what tenderness was

144
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,761
if it weren't for
your Uncle Oscar!

145
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:47,312
I knew you were going to
freak out. That's why I didn't

146
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,115
tell you over the phone!

147
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,220
This is absolutely
out of the question!

148
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,965
Sorry. Excuse me.

149
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,773
What's this play about, anyway?

150
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,442
American History.

151
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:20,879
Um, you missed
most of the play.

152
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,348
They just have the
costume awards left.

153
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,455
You are still in college.

154
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,458
Is there some rule that college
students can't be married?

155
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,061
Have you ever thought about how
hard it will be to get through

156
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,696
med school if you
have kids to raise?

157
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,264
That won't be a problem for us.

158
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,733
You can't necessarily plan
these things, Zilla.

159
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:45,270
Birth control isn't
always what it should be.

160
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,839
PRINCIPAL Thank you all for coming
and joining us on this happy

161
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:48,907
family occasion.

162
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,913
I'd like to thank all the
parents in the audience

163
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:58,149
for all the effort that you put
into the baking and the costumes

164
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,852
and the students behind the
curtain for all their hard work.

165
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,220
I'm sure they re
ready for summer vacation.

166
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:07,225
-audience laughs-

167
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,328
In recognition of some of the
costumes that really stood out

168
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,831
we would like to give
out a few quick prizes.

169
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,101
The prize for the
prettiest costume goes to

170
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,837
Mary Ann Percy as
the Statue of Liberty.

171
00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:28,046
Next, the prize for
the coolest costume goes to

172
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,515
Tyson Baker
who came as a Rough Rider.

173
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:41,493
And, ah, our judges decided to
give out a third prize this year

174
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:49,200
The award for the most
disturbing costume goes to

175
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,171
Zoe Balicki
who decided to come as a pilgrim

176
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:57,275
who has been..

177
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,410
scalped.

178
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:11,156
-crying-

179
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,925
Zoe, we have to
applaud your creativity.

180
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:17,362
However, a quick
reminder for Zoe's parents:

181
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,365
including, ah, raw meat on an

182
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:26,104
elementary school costume is
not considered strictly sanitary

183
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,872
And now, if the
children will join me in

184
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,941
singing our school song.

185
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,150
I didn't finish
telling you my news.

186
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,820
I'm sorry, there's more?

187
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:47,425
I invited my fiancée's
family over for dinner.

188
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,094
I want you to meet her.

189
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,300
Beg your pardon. Her?

190
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,369
I'm a lesbian, Dad.

191
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,370
What?

192
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,606
I'm a lesbian!

193
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,188
So, this is how you

194
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,091
choose to share
important news with the family

195
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:23,294
Just dumping it on
us out of the blue.

196
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,130
Believe me, coming out in the
middle of a grade school play

197
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:29,334
was not my ideal way of
coming out of the closet either.

198
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,136
Well, couldn't we have
had a more gradual transition?

199
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,539
I mean, last I knew,
you had a boyfriend.

200
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,041
OSCAR Yeah,
isn't there supposed to be some like

201
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,345
I don't know, sexual
experimentation first?

202
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:41,346
There has been.

203
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,413
Oh God.

204
00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,048
Come on Dad,
when's the last time you

205
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,884
actually saw me with a man?

206
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,953
There was that guy you went
to the Fire & Ice dance with.

207
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,124
Was that a woman?

208
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,892
No Uncle Oscar,
that was Bobby Milton

209
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,060
and that was in
the eighth grade.

210
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,462
GRANDMA
What's going on?

211
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,898
Zilla's a lesbian now!

212
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,300
ZILLA I've always been a
lesbian, Uncle Oscar.

213
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:05,103
Well we re so sorry
to offend you, Zilla.

214
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,539
We really apologize that your
family's been too insensitive to

215
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,609
notice, possibly because
you've always dated men.

216
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,345
I knew you wouldn't approve.

217
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,381
It's not that I
disapprove, honey.

218
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:20,451
It's just... well,
it's all very sudden.

219
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,055
AUNT MARGE
Sal told me everything.

220
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,590
I brought you some chicken soup.

221
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,159
Okay...

222
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,461
You do understand
that this is not like

223
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,264
a contagious disease that
can be treated with soup, right?

224
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,167
And I brought
some dresses for Zoe.

225
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,269
Hello, Marge.

226
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:42,106
Sal. Troubled times.

227
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:45,977
This is what happens when
girls are raised without mothers

228
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,079
What, they become lesbians?

229
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:52,583
And Zoe! I heard she made a
sensation at the school play.

230
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,718
How do you know these things?

231
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,520
I try to stay informed.

232
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,489
I've said it a million times.
You've got to take better care

233
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,092
of these girls.
You should remarry.

234
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:04,395
And I've told you a
million times, Marge

235
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,197
I haven't met the right woman.

236
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:09,267
Maybe you re secretly gay.

237
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,357
DWAYNE Well,
if it isn't the movie director.

238
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,693
How's the horror film
coming, Ms. Kubrick?

239
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,461
Has my coffin arrived?

240
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,263
It came yesterday.
I still don't know what

241
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,149
you want with a coffin.

242
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:16,034
Aren't you small, miniature
people supposed to be in school?

243
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,786
It's vacation.

244
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,537
Then why aren't you out playing
with your youthful peers?

245
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,638
Don't you have any friends?

246
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,473
Do you?

247
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:23,641
Touché.

248
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:24,809
Where is it?

249
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,079
In the back. I ll get it.

250
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,838
This doesn't look real.

251
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,507
It's for magic shows.

252
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,580
This is stupid.

253
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,249
You order away, you pay.

254
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:12,857
You hear about
the horror contest?

255
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,792
Hosted by the Film Foundation.

256
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,727
Hundred dollars cash
prize for whoever turns in

257
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,296
the best short horror film.

258
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,530
When's the deadline?

259
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,633
July 1st.

260
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,770
It's for college kids, dummy!

261
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,839
You ll never win.

262
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,448
Okay, I think that we've
all had enough time to think

263
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,684
about this new
situation and adjust.

264
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,420
The important thing is that
Lu's family is coming over for

265
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,555
dinner and we need to
get ready to greet them.

266
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,691
What's this family like, dear?

267
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,460
I guess they re sort of formal.

268
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,563
Formal? Like, how formal?

269
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,699
Well, they re
conservatives from New York

270
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,335
so Lu says they
always dress for dinner.

271
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,737
Dress in what?

272
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,875
Like, in clothes? Cause
we do that, we wear clothes.

273
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:05,409
The men wear ties.

274
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:06,544
How many men?

275
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:09,413
Um, Lu has three brothers,

276
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:13,451
so I guess there ll be eleven.

277
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,286
Eleven?

278
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,889
We don't have enough forks.

279
00:19:17,891 --> 00:19:21,659
Fancy conservative
types always have extra forks.

280
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,196
And they don't recycle.
They hate environmentalists.

281
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,430
Well they re
gonna love Portland.

282
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:27,798
You guys, please!

283
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,901
I'm asking you
to do this for me.

284
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:33,337
Not because you support gays
or conservatives or whatever.

285
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,407
But because you
love and care about me.

286
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:46,851
If I start now, I can get
three lasagnas in the oven.

287
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:51,422
I ll make a salad and take the
Greenpeace signs off the lawn.

288
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,891
I will set the table.

289
00:19:56,930 --> 00:20:00,865
Okay, you re a
recently reincarnated

290
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:04,635
emotionally confused werewolf
who hasn't had anything to eat

291
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,938
in ten centuries. Action!

292
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,948
-howl-

293
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:28,326
I think it needs more hunger.

294
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:31,796
I have to go inside soon.
I'm supposed to be studying.

295
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,732
Francis, we re in the
middle of a film shoot.

296
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,569
I know, but I only got to come
out because Grandma fell asleep.

297
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:41,505
Don't you get summer
break in home school?

298
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,975
Grandma says
summer break is for farmers.

299
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:47,845
She's not going to
be thrilled about this lawn.

300
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:51,616
Okay, maybe we
can speed things up.

301
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,952
If we show the werewolf
coming out of the coffin

302
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,022
then we can get rid
of the establishing shot.

303
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,693
Action!

304
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,998
Stupid thing.

305
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,184
What's wrong with it?

306
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,369
It's for magicians.
I never should have ordered it.

307
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,773
Are you okay?

308
00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,376
I may be having
an allergy attack.

309
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:20,645
What are you allergic to?

310
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:24,315
Grass, nuts, wheat, dairy, soy..

311
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:40,064
It says here that the oyster
fork goes next to the spoon.

312
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:42,033
That can't be right.

313
00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:44,902
We re not
serving oysters, Oscar.

314
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,838
I'm going to go pick up
Lu's family from the airport.

315
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,508
I still can't believe
they flew out for this.

316
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:51,742
Where are they staying?

317
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:54,078
I invited them to stay with us.

318
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,079
What?

319
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:56,614
You always told me to feel free

320
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,316
to invite friends
home from school!

321
00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:00,418
Yeah, friends.

322
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,754
Not entire families of
culturally conservative lesbians

323
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:04,955
who want to marry my daughter!

324
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,825
It's like I told you.

325
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,694
Girls need a woman's touch
or they turn out, different.

326
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:14,065
There's nothing different
about my daughters, Marge.

327
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:17,335
Dad, could you
buy me a coffin?

328
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,473
Um, no Zoe.

329
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:25,843
Why would you want a coffin?

330
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,546
I need one.

331
00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:33,050
Zoe, only dead
people need coffins.

332
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:36,387
Here Zoe, come help
me with the place cards.

333
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:38,389
We re having
company for dinner.

334
00:22:38,391 --> 00:22:39,557
Can I invite Francis?

335
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:41,075
Sure.

336
00:22:41,076 --> 00:22:42,592
Hey, she needs to
take a shower first.

337
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:46,731
Zoe, go wash up and put
on something more formal.

338
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,788
Hello, Mrs.McGillicuddy.

339
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,523
Is there something wrong?

340
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:16,761
I ll say there's something
wrong. My dog is missing.

341
00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,529
I'm sorry to hear that.

342
00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:21,532
I know your daughter had
something to do with this.

343
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:23,534
Zilla?

344
00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,670
The little one. With the fangs.

345
00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:31,742
I'm sorry Mrs. McGillicuddy,
but Zoe doesn't even like dogs.

346
00:23:32,712 --> 00:23:35,146
I didn't say she liked them.

347
00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:37,515
The way she looks at Fifi...

348
00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:39,583
Like that cannibal man.

349
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,952
Hannibal Lecter.

350
00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:47,024
Mrs. McGillicuddy, I promise
you Zoe did not eat your dog.

351
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,462
But we ll be sure to let you
know if Fifi shows up, okay?

352
00:23:58,504 --> 00:23:59,870
Weirdo.

353
00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,572
Who's the weirdo, Sal?

354
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:04,642
Your neighbor or your daughter?

355
00:24:41,581 --> 00:24:44,849
Zoe, I said put on
something more formal.

356
00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:47,518
Now hurry up,
they re almost here.

357
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:56,227
Let's make sure everything
goes well. For Zilla's sake.

358
00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:11,742
Welcome!

359
00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:14,812
CORA We re so happy
to finally meet you!

360
00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,796
So I said to Luna

361
00:25:32,798 --> 00:25:37,268
sweetheart, I don't care
if you marry a man a woman

362
00:25:37,270 --> 00:25:40,838
or one of those
bizarre transgender types.

363
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,307
All I want are grandchildren

364
00:25:43,309 --> 00:25:45,643
and with artificial
insemination these days

365
00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,311
that's entirely possible.

366
00:25:47,313 --> 00:25:52,316
I think Zilla wants to finish
college before she has kids.

367
00:25:52,318 --> 00:25:54,985
Well, naturally!

368
00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:57,721
But she won't
want to wait too long.

369
00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:01,125
I waited until I was older to
have children and quite frankly

370
00:26:01,127 --> 00:26:04,194
I think something
went wrong with my eggs.

371
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:09,166
They re practically mutes.

372
00:26:11,704 --> 00:26:14,071
GEOFFREY
So you re a gay couple?

373
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:17,074
OSCAR
Um, no.

374
00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:21,345
Mm mm, no no, we re
not any kind of couple.

375
00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:24,648
That would be an
incestuous relationship.

376
00:26:24,650 --> 00:26:26,050
We re brothers.

377
00:26:26,052 --> 00:26:27,818
GEOFFREY
Hmm.

378
00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:30,921
You come off like a gay couple.

379
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,590
CORA
Anyway

380
00:26:32,592 --> 00:26:35,859
Have you thought about
what kind of ceremony you want?

381
00:26:35,861 --> 00:26:39,063
Well, I think we'd like
something very small

382
00:26:39,065 --> 00:26:42,166
and informal... with just
a few of our closest friends.

383
00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:46,236
Oh. Well that wouldn't
be very festive, would it?

384
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:52,810
Don't be afraid to
splurge a little, sweetheart.

385
00:26:52,812 --> 00:26:57,281
Geoffrey and I have decided
we want to cover everything.

386
00:26:57,283 --> 00:27:01,151
We re delighted to
do it, aren't we dear?

387
00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:02,786
Ecstatic.

388
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,822
Well now, wait a minute.

389
00:27:04,824 --> 00:27:07,224
Why should you pay?

390
00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:10,127
Well, it's traditional
for the bride's family

391
00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,096
to cover expenses.

392
00:27:12,098 --> 00:27:16,367
Yes, but there
are two brides here.

393
00:27:17,403 --> 00:27:19,937
Well I just thought that because

394
00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:23,140
we re really
extremely supportive-

395
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,809
Now hey, I don't
think that's very fair.

396
00:27:25,811 --> 00:27:27,411
Sal was a little taken aback

397
00:27:27,413 --> 00:27:29,113
when Zilla said she
wanted to get married

398
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:30,781
because she's so young.

399
00:27:30,783 --> 00:27:33,250
That doesn't mean
he's not supportive.

400
00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:35,119
He's very supportive.

401
00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:37,187
Are you?

402
00:27:39,392 --> 00:27:41,742
Yes.

403
00:27:41,743 --> 00:27:44,093
Sal has raised these two
little girls all on his own

404
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:47,831
and yes, he gets a little surly
sometimes, don't get me wrong.

405
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,067
He has a lot of weaknesses.

406
00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:54,304
Frankly, he's terrifying if you
wake him up early in the morning

407
00:27:54,306 --> 00:27:57,708
and if you spill just a little
bit of furniture varnish

408
00:27:57,710 --> 00:28:00,444
in the laundry machine..

409
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:01,912
watch out.

410
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:02,813
He's also-

411
00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:05,816
Ahem, thanks Oscar.

412
00:28:05,818 --> 00:28:11,021
But overall he
is a very good guy.

413
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,824
And so if you want to
have this competition of

414
00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:16,827
who's the most supportive parent

415
00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:20,230
I would like to nominate
Sal as a very strong contender.

416
00:28:26,906 --> 00:28:29,206
I'm not competing.

417
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:34,078
We would be happy to
host Lu and Zilla's wedding.

418
00:28:34,947 --> 00:28:37,815
And we ll do everything
we can to make it special.

419
00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:42,853
Well if we host the
wedding, we ll go all out.

420
00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:47,958
Couldn't you both
host the wedding?

421
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,027
Jointly?

422
00:28:50,429 --> 00:28:55,833
I suppose we
could consider that.

423
00:28:55,835 --> 00:28:59,803
This is going to be
the best wedding since

424
00:28:59,805 --> 00:29:02,172
Prince William
and Kate Middleton!

425
00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:03,173
But we don't want-

426
00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:04,842
Now nonsense, sweetheart.

427
00:29:04,844 --> 00:29:08,112
Everyone says they
don't want a big wedding

428
00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:10,981
but I know it's
every girl's dream.

429
00:29:10,983 --> 00:29:16,053
And I know it's hard to plan a
wedding without your mother.

430
00:29:16,422 --> 00:29:19,456
But I've always
wanted another daughter

431
00:29:19,458 --> 00:29:23,260
and it doesn't look like I ll be
acquiring one via these buffoons

432
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,430
any time soon.

433
00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:28,999
I'd be honored

434
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:31,468
if you'd try to think
of me in that role.

435
00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:34,938
I ll be your new mother.

436
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,542
MRS. MCGILLICUDDY
Mr. Balicki.

437
00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:41,812
I want you to
know that I found Fifi.

438
00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:48,819
Shorn.

439
00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:50,487
Humiliated.

440
00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:52,556
In hiding..

441
00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:56,560
Sweetheart.

442
00:30:13,245 --> 00:30:15,445
Zoe.

443
00:30:15,447 --> 00:30:19,016
Did you..

444
00:30:19,018 --> 00:30:22,920
shave this dog?

445
00:30:22,922 --> 00:30:26,423
No...

446
00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:30,494
I used your gardening shears.

447
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:33,997
That's it.

448
00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:36,366
I don't know what's
gotten into you lately but

449
00:30:36,368 --> 00:30:41,038
all this horror stuff
is getting too weird.

450
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:41,939
Give me that camera.

451
00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:42,940
But Dad-

452
00:30:42,942 --> 00:30:46,009
I'm serious.
Hand it over.

453
00:30:49,515 --> 00:30:52,049
No more horror films.

454
00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:55,118
If you want to film
something you can film..

455
00:30:59,925 --> 00:31:01,959
your sister's wedding.

456
00:31:01,961 --> 00:31:04,027
Nothing else.

457
00:31:55,347 --> 00:31:57,414
Aaaaahhh!

458
00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:30,447
I need you to be
here in ten minutes

459
00:32:30,449 --> 00:32:33,283
with your werewolf costume
and a carton of denture wax.

460
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,085
I ll see if I can
skip chess practice.

461
00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:36,420
But how come it's so important?

462
00:32:36,422 --> 00:32:38,222
Okay.

463
00:32:38,223 --> 00:32:40,023
You know those severed fingers
I was marinating in the fridge?

464
00:32:40,025 --> 00:32:42,042
Yeah.

465
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:44,060
Well, Lu's mother came
downstairs dressed as a ghoul.

466
00:32:44,063 --> 00:32:45,963
Why would she
be dressed as a ghoul?

467
00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:47,564
I don't know, but she was.

468
00:32:47,566 --> 00:32:51,501
And she saw
the fingers and screamed.

469
00:32:51,503 --> 00:32:55,105
So I realized that
we can make a horror film

470
00:32:55,107 --> 00:32:59,176
without anybody realizing
that they re in the horror film.

471
00:33:00,679 --> 00:33:04,181
I'm... so confused right now.

472
00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:07,250
Never mind. Just come
over and I ll explain later.

473
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:14,324
Did you sleep well?

474
00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:17,828
Yeah.

475
00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:21,331
There were a couple things
under the cushions, but..

476
00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:24,001
once I took them
out, I slept great.

477
00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:28,005
GEOFFREY
Oh God.

478
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,706
Could you avoid the
public displays of affection?

479
00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:30,707
We re eating.

480
00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:32,542
We just got engaged, Dad.

481
00:33:32,544 --> 00:33:34,544
Be grateful we re not
making out on the coffee table.

482
00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:36,680
Yes, thank you for that.

483
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:38,548
I couldn't help noticing

484
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:42,285
that the pickle jar is full of..

485
00:33:42,287 --> 00:33:43,286
fingers.

486
00:33:43,288 --> 00:33:46,023
Oh yeah. That's Zoe.

487
00:33:46,025 --> 00:33:49,426
My advice would be if you re
squeamish about anything like

488
00:33:49,428 --> 00:33:51,395
severed body parts..

489
00:33:51,397 --> 00:33:54,064
never open the fridge.

490
00:33:54,066 --> 00:33:57,234
Eat canned food.

491
00:33:57,236 --> 00:34:00,254
Well..

492
00:34:00,255 --> 00:34:03,273
This is going to
be a marvelous day!

493
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:06,309
Wedding dress shopping!

494
00:34:06,311 --> 00:34:07,677
Wedding dress shopping?

495
00:34:07,679 --> 00:34:10,147
If Mom can
incorporate shopping

496
00:34:10,149 --> 00:34:12,282
into her daily
routine, she will.

497
00:34:12,284 --> 00:34:16,053
Shopping for that kind of girly
stuff really makes me nervous.

498
00:34:16,055 --> 00:34:19,189
All those perfume smells..
and the makeup counter..

499
00:34:19,191 --> 00:34:22,259
Well, we only have a
month to plan the wedding.

500
00:34:22,261 --> 00:34:25,062
Dresses take time.

501
00:34:25,064 --> 00:34:28,498
Are you sure you
don't want to rethink-

502
00:34:28,500 --> 00:34:30,167
Mom.

503
00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:33,570
The wedding has to be in June.

504
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,605
My residency starts in July.

505
00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:37,541
Saturday June 30th

506
00:34:37,543 --> 00:34:39,109
end of story.

507
00:34:39,111 --> 00:34:41,745
Then shopping is
definitely in order.

508
00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:46,817
In fact, we'd better shop
for the entire bridal party!

509
00:34:48,487 --> 00:34:52,089
Will you be joining us?

510
00:34:52,091 --> 00:34:57,127
Um, no. Thank you for the
thought. I have to work.

511
00:34:57,429 --> 00:35:02,499
Oscar will be going
along to represent the family.

512
00:35:04,703 --> 00:35:08,105
You don't work?

513
00:35:08,107 --> 00:35:11,141
Um, I would say I'm temporarily

514
00:35:11,143 --> 00:35:15,445
on a leave of
absence from official duties.

515
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:17,347
You re unemployed.

516
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:20,817
This is Portland.
Unemployment is more like...

517
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:25,755
an art form.

518
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:28,391
Can I come shopping?

519
00:35:28,393 --> 00:35:31,661
I'm sorry,
you want to go shopping?

520
00:35:31,663 --> 00:35:34,297
And since we ll be
doing wedding stuff

521
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:38,802
I ll need my camera.

522
00:35:38,804 --> 00:35:40,871
I can shoot
the wedding planning.

523
00:35:40,873 --> 00:35:42,405
Like a documentary.

524
00:35:42,407 --> 00:35:46,510
OSCAR
Documentaries are educational.

525
00:35:46,512 --> 00:35:49,412
Fine.

526
00:35:49,414 --> 00:35:52,415
But I don't want any
weird horror stuff, alright?

527
00:35:52,417 --> 00:35:53,850
Have you thought about

528
00:35:53,852 --> 00:35:56,686
who's going to be
in your bridal party?

529
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:59,106
Oh yes.

530
00:35:59,107 --> 00:36:01,525
Well of course Matt, Mark
and John will be on Lu's side.

531
00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:04,261
And on my side I ll have my
two best friends from Portland

532
00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:05,428
Pat and Angie.

533
00:36:05,430 --> 00:36:07,831
And Zoe's going
to be my flower girl!

534
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,513
You re Pat.

535
00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:24,681
Patrick.

536
00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,550
It's so nice to meet you.

537
00:36:26,552 --> 00:36:30,921
Oh, no. Sorry guys,
but I promised your dad.

538
00:36:30,923 --> 00:36:33,590
No more horror stuff.

539
00:36:52,244 --> 00:36:54,244
How much to
unlock the rental car?

540
00:36:54,246 --> 00:36:56,713
MATT
How about ten bucks?

541
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,648
We don't have that much.

542
00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,717
Maybe you could earn it.

543
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,485
What would we have to do?

544
00:37:02,487 --> 00:37:05,922
I think a good prank would be a
timely diversion right about now

545
00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:07,657
I don't know any pranks.

546
00:37:07,659 --> 00:37:10,727
You ll have to think of one.

547
00:37:12,965 --> 00:37:15,616
Okay.

548
00:37:15,617 --> 00:37:18,268
What if we go into the shop
and hide everybody's clothes?

549
00:37:18,270 --> 00:37:20,337
And when they re done
trying on wedding stuff,

550
00:37:20,339 --> 00:37:25,675
all their clothes will be
gone and everyone will scream.

551
00:37:25,677 --> 00:37:27,744
You re on.

552
00:37:41,526 --> 00:37:44,427
There's my little flower girl!

553
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:46,496
We've got to get you
into your dress, dear.

554
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:00,977
Um, where do I put my clothes?

555
00:38:00,979 --> 00:38:04,047
SALES LADY We can put them in
a garment bag for you, dear.

556
00:38:36,615 --> 00:38:39,849
Alright, I did it.
Now give me the keys.

557
00:38:39,851 --> 00:38:41,651
Nice dress.

558
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,553
I'd keep the
comments about the dress

559
00:38:43,555 --> 00:38:46,022
to a minimum if I were you.

560
00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:56,566
Okay. The werewolf
just climbed out of his coffin

561
00:38:56,568 --> 00:38:59,069
and he's wandering
around town lonely.

562
00:38:59,071 --> 00:39:01,438
He wants friends.

563
00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:03,806
But no one will be friends with
him because he's a monster.

564
00:39:03,809 --> 00:39:07,744
The only way he can make friends
is if they become monsters too.

565
00:39:07,746 --> 00:39:09,412
So he has to bite someone.

566
00:39:09,414 --> 00:39:12,916
Action.

567
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:16,486
Now that is adorable.

568
00:39:16,488 --> 00:39:20,590
Oh, and what about this one?

569
00:39:20,592 --> 00:39:23,526
SALES LADY Would you like to
try a mother-of-the-bride dress?

570
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:26,730
Ooh, that would be lovely!

571
00:39:32,671 --> 00:39:34,704
I don't know,
it's kind of dumpy.

572
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:35,905
I don't feel like any of these

573
00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:43,079
really capture my
true personality.

574
00:39:43,081 --> 00:39:45,482
You have to get higher up.

575
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:07,637
But this would
look lovely on you!

576
00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:10,473
Mom, you know
I don't wear dresses.

577
00:40:10,475 --> 00:40:12,976
You don't normally
get married either Lu

578
00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:15,578
but I was hoping you
could make an exception

579
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:18,448
for the most
elaborate day of your life.

580
00:40:18,450 --> 00:40:20,550
Now darling

581
00:40:20,552 --> 00:40:24,721
this would look
absolutely fabulous on you.

582
00:40:28,660 --> 00:40:32,962
Doesn't it just leave
you at a loss for words?

583
00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:34,030
Yes.

584
00:40:34,032 --> 00:40:36,800
Now this is me.

585
00:40:36,802 --> 00:40:39,903
Excuse me,
but that is out of the question.

586
00:40:39,905 --> 00:40:43,173
We are planning a
classic, black tie wedding.

587
00:40:43,175 --> 00:40:44,207
Oh, in Portland?

588
00:40:44,209 --> 00:40:46,776
I don't think I own a black tie.

589
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:49,546
Well, it's your niece's
wedding. You can buy one.

590
00:40:49,548 --> 00:40:52,115
If Pat gets to wear
that, I want to wear this.

591
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,516
Picture it with combat boots.

592
00:40:53,518 --> 00:40:55,118
Absolutely not.

593
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,187
What we re going to need for
her is something with sleeves.

594
00:40:57,189 --> 00:40:58,955
Excuse me

595
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:00,722
but I feel like my accouterment
preferences are not being..

596
00:41:00,725 --> 00:41:02,742
respected?

597
00:41:02,743 --> 00:41:04,760
I mean, I'm wearing pants.
Why can't he wear a dress?

598
00:41:04,763 --> 00:41:08,531
How come she gets to
wear pants and I don't?

599
00:41:08,533 --> 00:41:12,035
Hey. You re at a here, and I
need to see you at a here.

600
00:41:12,037 --> 00:41:13,736
I'd also be willing to wear
the blue taffeta

601
00:41:13,738 --> 00:41:15,138
with rhinestones.

602
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:16,539
Maybe everyone
should wear all black.

603
00:41:16,541 --> 00:41:18,842
Ordinarily I think
rhinestones are super tacky

604
00:41:18,844 --> 00:41:20,677
but this is a wedding,
and we have to sparkle.

605
00:41:20,679 --> 00:41:22,145
Who are you, Liberace?

606
00:41:22,147 --> 00:41:24,481
I just want everyone
to feel comfortable..

607
00:41:24,483 --> 00:41:27,317
Comfortable? In that?

608
00:41:27,318 --> 00:41:30,152
Hey, I saw this exact same
look in the June issue of Vogue.

609
00:41:30,155 --> 00:41:31,821
On a man or a woman?

610
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:33,256
I told you
we should have eloped.

611
00:41:33,258 --> 00:41:34,991
I volunteer to wear a tuxedo

612
00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:36,893
to balance out Pat's
slutty barmaid costume.

613
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:38,862
It's not a slutty
barmaid costume

614
00:41:38,864 --> 00:41:40,063
it's a gown!

615
00:41:40,065 --> 00:41:42,499
I am not wearing a dress!

616
00:41:42,501 --> 00:41:47,504
This is not just choose
your favorite gender day!

617
00:41:47,506 --> 00:41:49,873
There are RULES.

618
00:41:53,512 --> 00:41:54,811
BRIDAL SHOP OWNER
Where are the garment bags?

619
00:41:54,813 --> 00:41:56,246
SALES LADY
The ones in the shipping closet?

620
00:41:56,248 --> 00:41:58,882
I sent them out on the
delivery truck half an hour ago.

621
00:41:58,884 --> 00:42:00,984
I didn't hang them
in the shipping closet.

622
00:42:00,986 --> 00:42:02,919
I hung them in
the dressing rooms.

623
00:42:02,921 --> 00:42:04,954
Those were not gowns.

624
00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:07,590
Those were everyone's clothes!

625
00:42:07,592 --> 00:42:09,025
Action!

626
00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:12,095
GRRRRRAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!

627
00:42:16,568 --> 00:42:21,271
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

628
00:42:21,273 --> 00:42:24,941
Get off of me! Get off of me
get off of me, get off of me

629
00:42:24,943 --> 00:42:27,677
I will put you
in your grave, little man!

630
00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,746
Mom! Mom!

631
00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:40,156
CORA
I will win! I will win..

632
00:42:49,568 --> 00:42:52,635
The damage comes to
$5,000 in ruined property.

633
00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:25,034
You can't even go
wedding dress shopping

634
00:43:25,036 --> 00:43:26,970
without getting arrested?

635
00:43:26,972 --> 00:43:30,807
It was a
complicated situation, bro-

636
00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:32,709
Oscar.

637
00:43:32,711 --> 00:43:35,211
I asked you to
represent the family's interests

638
00:43:35,213 --> 00:43:38,281
and they ended up in jail.

639
00:43:46,224 --> 00:43:49,759
Roar! Rar!

640
00:43:49,761 --> 00:43:53,830
Aaaaaaahhh!!! What is-Ack! Eek!

641
00:43:58,103 --> 00:43:59,769
Rar!

642
00:43:59,771 --> 00:44:01,838
Aaaaaaahhh-

643
00:44:13,918 --> 00:44:17,220
ROAAAAR!

644
00:44:17,222 --> 00:44:19,288
Aaaaaaahhh!!!

645
00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:51,888
Roaaauuughhh!

646
00:45:19,084 --> 00:45:21,951
ROOAAAAUURR!

647
00:45:21,953 --> 00:45:24,387
AAAAAAAAAHH!

648
00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:08,965
I mean it's got to be
about a wedding, right?

649
00:46:08,967 --> 00:46:11,801
We re only allowed
to shoot wedding stuff.

650
00:46:11,803 --> 00:46:14,504
So the werewolf goes into
this wedding shop trying to

651
00:46:14,506 --> 00:46:17,940
bite people and
he looks up and sees a bride.

652
00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:21,444
And he falls in love.

653
00:46:21,446 --> 00:46:23,246
I don't know..

654
00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:25,047
Falling in love
isn't as cool as biting people.

655
00:46:25,049 --> 00:46:28,017
Francis, of course
he's going to bite people

656
00:46:28,019 --> 00:46:29,986
but there's got to be a plot.

657
00:46:29,988 --> 00:46:33,055
We can't be too picky,
the deadline's in three weeks.

658
00:46:33,057 --> 00:46:35,525
I don't see why they have
to get married in a church.

659
00:46:35,527 --> 00:46:38,828
I've always dreamed of seeing
my daughter married in a church.

660
00:46:38,830 --> 00:46:41,197
Besides,
weddings should be religious.

661
00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:42,532
We re Jewish.

662
00:46:42,534 --> 00:46:44,200
Non-practicing.

663
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:46,586
Fine.

664
00:46:46,587 --> 00:46:48,971
So find a rabbi who's willing to
perform a same-sex marriage

665
00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:51,507
for non-practicing Jews,
and he can be there too.

666
00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:53,976
I found the perfect church.

667
00:46:53,978 --> 00:46:55,511
They re non-denominational,

668
00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:58,581
and they simply love the gays.

669
00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:02,485
Why is Francis here?

670
00:47:02,487 --> 00:47:04,954
Why is Francis always here?

671
00:47:04,956 --> 00:47:07,056
Francis, why are you
wearing this thing?

672
00:47:07,058 --> 00:47:08,391
I thought you were allergic.

673
00:47:08,393 --> 00:47:10,193
I have to practice, Mr. B.

674
00:47:10,195 --> 00:47:11,928
Well if you re coming
to the church with us

675
00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:13,462
you need to
at least take the mask off.

676
00:47:13,464 --> 00:47:16,032
It's not appropriate.

677
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:21,237
Yeah, put it back on.

678
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:23,973
I think it's fair to say
Mom won yesterday's brawl.

679
00:47:23,975 --> 00:47:26,576
Matt, honestly
it wasn't a brawl.

680
00:47:26,578 --> 00:47:29,078
It was a simple
miscommunication.

681
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:32,081
I couldn't help noticing
that I was being strangled

682
00:47:32,083 --> 00:47:34,016
so I reacted defensively.

683
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,885
All's well that ends well.

684
00:47:35,887 --> 00:47:38,454
You consider doing jail time
ending well, do you?

685
00:47:38,456 --> 00:47:40,890
Well, we got what we came for.

686
00:47:40,892 --> 00:47:43,993
The dresses were purchased,
you could say we broke them in

687
00:47:43,995 --> 00:47:47,096
and Zilla and
Zoe will look lovely.

688
00:47:47,098 --> 00:47:49,031
As for the bridesmaids.

689
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:52,168
I simply plan not to look at
that half of the wedding photos.

690
00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:55,238
Where is Zilla? It's time to go.

691
00:47:58,076 --> 00:47:59,942
You know..

692
00:47:59,944 --> 00:48:01,510
this dress we picked out..

693
00:48:01,512 --> 00:48:04,080
It's not really my style.

694
00:48:04,082 --> 00:48:05,648
I know it's not.

695
00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:09,285
I thought it was
some secret inner girliness

696
00:48:09,287 --> 00:48:11,921
coming out
after all these years.

697
00:48:11,923 --> 00:48:16,926
No, it's just-
Your mom really liked it.

698
00:48:16,928 --> 00:48:20,062
It's our wedding.
If you don't like it, return it.

699
00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:22,531
I don't want to
hurt your mother's feelings.

700
00:48:23,101 --> 00:48:25,668
Well, if you care more
about what other people think

701
00:48:25,670 --> 00:48:28,938
than being who
you are, then wear it.

702
00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:36,379
I don't get it, Zill. Either you
wear the dress or you return it.

703
00:48:36,381 --> 00:48:39,448
Those are your
only two options, right?

704
00:48:39,450 --> 00:48:41,517
Right.

705
00:48:42,186 --> 00:48:45,254
So what's the big deal?

706
00:48:50,461 --> 00:48:53,412
What is this?

707
00:48:53,413 --> 00:48:56,364
Oh, it's Portland. People
like to let each other go first.

708
00:48:56,367 --> 00:48:57,400
DRIVER
You go first.

709
00:48:57,402 --> 00:49:00,436
BIKER
No, you go first..

710
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,239
No, no, you go first.

711
00:49:03,241 --> 00:49:04,674
Son of a bitch.

712
00:49:04,676 --> 00:49:05,675
DRIVER
You go first.

713
00:49:05,677 --> 00:49:06,709
BIKER
You go first!

714
00:49:06,711 --> 00:49:08,945
DRIVER
I won't!

715
00:49:12,016 --> 00:49:15,351
Well! You are
going to love this church.

716
00:49:15,353 --> 00:49:17,620
It is absolutely charming.

717
00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:20,990
I'm not really sure about
getting married in a church..

718
00:49:20,992 --> 00:49:23,359
I always imagined
an outdoor wedding.

719
00:49:23,361 --> 00:49:25,361
Well they have
very large windows.

720
00:49:25,363 --> 00:49:28,564
So that's almost
like being outside.

721
00:49:28,566 --> 00:49:32,034
So, the werewolf
falls in love with the bride.

722
00:49:32,036 --> 00:49:34,470
What would he do next?

723
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:38,174
Would he maybe eat something?

724
00:49:38,176 --> 00:49:40,209
No, that's not what people
do when they re in love.

725
00:49:40,211 --> 00:49:42,611
They recite poetry and stuff.

726
00:49:42,613 --> 00:49:44,413
But you re not
ready to do that yet

727
00:49:44,415 --> 00:49:46,082
because you have a problem:

728
00:49:46,084 --> 00:49:48,651
the bride's in love
with someone else.

729
00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:51,020
So here's your
mission in the church:

730
00:49:51,022 --> 00:49:53,155
make Zilla break up with Lu

731
00:49:53,157 --> 00:49:56,559
and fall in
love with you instead.

732
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:01,998
It is nice.

733
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,066
See?

734
00:50:24,155 --> 00:50:26,289
PASTOR BOB
Welcome!

735
00:50:26,290 --> 00:50:28,424
I'm Pastor Bob and
this is my wife, Earth.

736
00:50:28,426 --> 00:50:30,159
You must be joking.

737
00:50:30,161 --> 00:50:33,729
No. My kids
call me Mother Earth.

738
00:50:33,731 --> 00:50:35,765
Her parents were hippies.

739
00:50:35,767 --> 00:50:38,234
Apparently it's genetic.

740
00:50:38,236 --> 00:50:43,239
This is my daughter
Luna and Zilla, her future...

741
00:50:43,241 --> 00:50:46,509
...What would you
call it, partner? Helpmate?

742
00:50:46,511 --> 00:50:48,110
Wife.

743
00:50:48,112 --> 00:50:49,578
Oh, just like us!

744
00:50:49,580 --> 00:50:52,415
Yes, just like regular people.

745
00:50:52,417 --> 00:50:56,152
Oh my God, I've never been
inside an actual church before.

746
00:50:56,154 --> 00:50:57,586
This is adorable!

747
00:50:57,588 --> 00:50:59,722
Zilla and Lu could
get married right now.

748
00:50:59,724 --> 00:51:02,525
I ll make the toast!

749
00:51:02,527 --> 00:51:04,527
To Zilla and Lu.

750
00:51:04,529 --> 00:51:06,328
I hope your daughters
aren't dirty sluts

751
00:51:06,330 --> 00:51:09,131
like we were in high school.

752
00:51:09,133 --> 00:51:12,201
That's the Blood of Christ.

753
00:51:16,441 --> 00:51:20,476
Yeah, that's very nice, Zoe.

754
00:51:20,478 --> 00:51:23,446
Now the first step to getting
married at the Church of Peace

755
00:51:23,448 --> 00:51:25,681
is to do an interview
of the significant parties.

756
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:29,418
So if the significant parties
could step right this way..

757
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:32,121
We re all significant.

758
00:51:32,123 --> 00:51:34,824
Okay, we ll get more chairs.

759
00:51:34,826 --> 00:51:37,426
Alright, make
Zilla fall in love with you.

760
00:51:37,428 --> 00:51:39,462
Action.

761
00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:46,802
Is there a problem?

762
00:51:46,804 --> 00:51:49,105
How do you make a
girl fall in love with you?

763
00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:52,174
I don't know. You ll probably
have to kiss her or something.

764
00:51:54,345 --> 00:51:56,229
So tell me.

765
00:51:56,230 --> 00:51:58,114
What makes you want to get
married at the Church of Peace

766
00:51:58,116 --> 00:52:01,183
Well, the building is charming.

767
00:52:01,185 --> 00:52:03,419
I mean it's precious.

768
00:52:03,421 --> 00:52:05,421
And also,
you re Christian, right?

769
00:52:05,423 --> 00:52:07,123
Well, of course!

770
00:52:07,125 --> 00:52:10,292
And when was the last time each
of you actually went to church?

771
00:52:10,294 --> 00:52:14,730
Ah well, that would be
at my godson's baptism in

772
00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:17,299
um.. oh, um-

773
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:19,368
1987?

774
00:52:20,505 --> 00:52:22,204
It was more recent than that.

775
00:52:22,206 --> 00:52:24,740
And I'm sure there have
been several times in between.

776
00:52:24,742 --> 00:52:27,526
And the rest of you?

777
00:52:27,527 --> 00:52:30,311
I guess that would be
my marriage to my ex-wife.

778
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:33,382
Which was sixteen years ago.

779
00:52:33,384 --> 00:52:35,184
My father's funeral.

780
00:52:35,186 --> 00:52:37,203
Which is ironic

781
00:52:37,204 --> 00:52:39,221
because that son-of-a-bitch
is almost definitely in hell.

782
00:52:39,223 --> 00:52:41,857
I'm Jewish.

783
00:52:41,859 --> 00:52:43,626
FRANCIS
I can't just kiss her.

784
00:52:43,628 --> 00:52:47,530
Besides, my werewolf
nose will get in the way.

785
00:52:47,532 --> 00:52:50,199
Give her a hug then.

786
00:52:50,201 --> 00:52:54,603
Maybe we ll just skip
along to the next question.

787
00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:58,340
Do you believe in
God the Father Almighty

788
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:01,577
who sacrificed his
only begotten Son

789
00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:03,245
to save us from our sins?

790
00:53:03,247 --> 00:53:04,246
No.

791
00:53:04,248 --> 00:53:05,247
Dad.

792
00:53:05,249 --> 00:53:07,583
What? I'm an atheist.

793
00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:10,653
Me too! We have
so much in common.

794
00:53:15,259 --> 00:53:17,726
Um, thanks Francis.

795
00:53:24,635 --> 00:53:27,469
I don't think she went for it.

796
00:53:27,471 --> 00:53:30,673
That was my
best possible hug.

797
00:53:30,675 --> 00:53:32,908
Well, try to take
things to the next level.

798
00:53:32,910 --> 00:53:33,976
OSCAR
I'm a Jew

799
00:53:33,978 --> 00:53:35,678
who converted to Catholicism

800
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,647
to marry my ex-wife
then got divorced

801
00:53:38,649 --> 00:53:41,750
which completely goes against
the rules of Catholicism.

802
00:53:41,752 --> 00:53:44,820
So I'm not really
sure what I am now.

803
00:53:44,822 --> 00:53:46,655
I'm a neo-Mennonite.

804
00:53:46,657 --> 00:53:48,390
Excuse me?

805
00:53:48,392 --> 00:53:50,459
Wicca.

806
00:53:52,763 --> 00:53:55,397
Okay well, um

807
00:53:55,399 --> 00:53:58,334
what really matters here
is what the brides believe.

808
00:53:58,336 --> 00:54:00,236
So, Lu and Zilla?

809
00:54:00,238 --> 00:54:02,404
I would describe
myself as Christian.

810
00:54:02,406 --> 00:54:03,539
You would?

811
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,307
Yeah.

812
00:54:05,309 --> 00:54:07,376
Oh. Well...

813
00:54:07,378 --> 00:54:09,778
I guess I'm not really
sure what I believe in.

814
00:54:09,780 --> 00:54:11,981
I mean, it seems to me like

815
00:54:11,983 --> 00:54:15,284
a lot of religions could
be on the right track.

816
00:54:15,286 --> 00:54:17,920
But I do believe in spirituality
and being nice to people-

817
00:54:17,922 --> 00:54:20,990
Francis, get the hell off me..

818
00:54:26,697 --> 00:54:30,532
I don't usually swear.

819
00:54:30,534 --> 00:54:32,501
That was pathetic.

820
00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:35,504
Obviously, she's a lesbian.

821
00:54:35,506 --> 00:54:36,705
PASTOR BOB
Next question:

822
00:54:36,707 --> 00:54:40,009
Um, if you were to have children

823
00:54:40,011 --> 00:54:42,778
would you raise
them in the Christian faith?

824
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,947
We haven't
really discussed that.

825
00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:46,782
What have you discussed?

826
00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,751
You don't even
know what religion she is.

827
00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,753
We've discussed
that we love each other.

828
00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:52,855
So you re divorced

829
00:54:52,857 --> 00:54:56,592
your sister is divorced,
your brother is divorced

830
00:54:56,594 --> 00:54:58,661
and your parents were divorced?

831
00:54:58,663 --> 00:55:00,813
Yeah.

832
00:55:00,814 --> 00:55:02,964
Basically everyone in
my family gets divorced.

833
00:55:02,967 --> 00:55:04,366
DELIVERY MAN
Hey, Pastor Bob?

834
00:55:04,368 --> 00:55:05,901
Delivery from
Stump Town Funeral?

835
00:55:05,903 --> 00:55:08,871
Oh, yes. If you could
just put it by the organ.

836
00:55:08,873 --> 00:55:10,973
One of our parishioners
passed this week

837
00:55:10,975 --> 00:55:13,942
so the family asked if they
could deliver the casket here.

838
00:55:13,944 --> 00:55:16,512
It's made from
Oregon pine and Eco-friendly

839
00:55:16,514 --> 00:55:18,347
pesticide-free glue.

840
00:55:18,349 --> 00:55:19,682
GEOFFREY
Oh, good.

841
00:55:19,684 --> 00:55:22,084
Because I'd hate to be
poisoned with pesticide

842
00:55:22,086 --> 00:55:25,587
on top of already being dead.

843
00:55:25,589 --> 00:55:27,956
Look, can we move things along?

844
00:55:27,958 --> 00:55:30,359
Evidently,
I have to go pick up the wine

845
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:33,429
and I need to take these
three little faggots with me..

846
00:55:36,701 --> 00:55:38,434
Oh, I'm sorry.

847
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:42,504
Is that word no longer
PC because of this situation?

848
00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:47,643
It-it was never..

849
00:55:47,645 --> 00:55:52,081
Oh, please don't touch that!
That's someone else's coffin.

850
00:55:52,083 --> 00:55:55,784
Well.
To return to the interview..

851
00:55:55,786 --> 00:55:58,487
Do you follow the
Ten Commandments?

852
00:55:58,489 --> 00:55:59,988
What exactly are those again?

853
00:55:59,990 --> 00:56:01,890
You know

854
00:56:01,891 --> 00:56:03,791
thou shalt not lie, thou
shalt not break the Sabbath..

855
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:08,497
I sometimes break the Sabbath

856
00:56:08,499 --> 00:56:11,133
even though
I'm disputably Catholic.

857
00:56:11,135 --> 00:56:12,634
How?

858
00:56:12,636 --> 00:56:14,370
Well you know

859
00:56:14,372 --> 00:56:16,038
if I need money?

860
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,674
Sometimes I just take it.

861
00:56:18,676 --> 00:56:20,476
From whom?

862
00:56:20,478 --> 00:56:22,444
Usually from my mom's purse.

863
00:56:22,446 --> 00:56:24,580
You steal from Mom?

864
00:56:24,582 --> 00:56:27,015
She would give me the money
if I asked her

865
00:56:27,017 --> 00:56:29,017
but she can't hear!

866
00:56:29,019 --> 00:56:30,903
Hurry, get in

867
00:56:30,904 --> 00:56:32,788
and we can reshoot the
coffin scene before anyone sees.

868
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:33,989
Are you sure?

869
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:36,392
Of course.
Nobody else is using it.

870
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:39,595
So what you re
saying is that you

871
00:56:39,597 --> 00:56:41,797
do sometimes steal

872
00:56:41,799 --> 00:56:44,466
from your
mother on the Sabbath.

873
00:56:49,607 --> 00:56:50,506
Yes.

874
00:56:50,508 --> 00:56:51,640
You idiot!

875
00:56:51,642 --> 00:56:52,908
GEOFFREY
Okay, look.

876
00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:55,978
Let's cut to the chase.
How much do you want?

877
00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:58,814
Excuse me?

878
00:56:58,815 --> 00:57:00,882
What does a normal family
pay to get married here?

879
00:57:00,885 --> 00:57:02,951
We ll double it.

880
00:57:17,668 --> 00:57:21,069
You.. can't..

881
00:57:21,071 --> 00:57:25,641
get married here..

882
00:57:25,643 --> 00:57:28,710
Mm mm. No.

883
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,086
Isn't it a little un-Christian

884
00:57:38,088 --> 00:57:41,623
to ban an entire family
from going to church?

885
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:43,892
Unwelcoming, I think.

886
00:57:43,894 --> 00:57:46,662
I mean as far as
they re concerned

887
00:57:46,664 --> 00:57:49,832
they are
dooming us all to Hell..

888
00:57:52,770 --> 00:57:56,004
Zoe, I was being figurative.

889
00:57:56,006 --> 00:57:57,539
Guys. I need your help.

890
00:57:57,541 --> 00:57:59,575
I didn't get any
good footage today.

891
00:57:59,577 --> 00:58:01,944
Will you put on these
masks and do a monster dance?

892
00:58:01,946 --> 00:58:04,713
It's really easy.
Francis choreographed it.

893
00:58:04,715 --> 00:58:06,248
CORA
What I don't understand

894
00:58:06,250 --> 00:58:10,185
is why they were so
upset about a little thing

895
00:58:10,187 --> 00:58:14,122
like breaking the
Ten Commandments.

896
00:58:14,124 --> 00:58:17,226
Everyone breaks a
commandment sooner or later.

897
00:58:17,228 --> 00:58:19,127
It's not like it's a mortal sin.

898
00:58:19,129 --> 00:58:22,998
Actually I think it's the
definition of a mortal sin.

899
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,667
Well, maybe it's for the best.

900
00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,136
What do you mean, Zill?

901
00:58:28,138 --> 00:58:31,807
I mean, maybe my dad was right.

902
00:58:31,809 --> 00:58:33,175
We barely even know each other.

903
00:58:33,177 --> 00:58:35,978
I didn't even
know you were a Christian.

904
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:37,946
That's not the most
important thing about me.

905
00:58:37,948 --> 00:58:39,147
And we never discussed

906
00:58:39,149 --> 00:58:41,683
how we re going
to raise our children

907
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:43,785
We don't even know
if we re gonna have children.

908
00:58:43,787 --> 00:58:47,089
And everyone in my
family gets a divorce!

909
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:49,925
Hey, hey, but it's not
without good reason.

910
00:58:49,927 --> 00:58:53,262
I mean, your
grandparents had a fundamental

911
00:58:53,264 --> 00:58:57,165
difference of opinion regarding
the definition of monogamy

912
00:58:57,167 --> 00:59:00,102
and my wife?

913
00:59:00,104 --> 00:59:05,073
She was,
quite frankly, psychotic.

914
00:59:07,011 --> 00:59:09,545
Zilla.

915
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:11,046
Ever since we started
planning this wedding

916
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:13,715
you haven't been yourself.

917
00:59:25,262 --> 00:59:29,131
What's going on?

918
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:34,269
Zoe, what is this?

919
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:39,308
It's not enough that you
humiliated us at church today?

920
00:59:39,310 --> 00:59:42,010
It's not enough that you re
ruining your sister's wedding?

921
00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:45,714
Can't you see how unhappy
you re making your sister?

922
00:59:47,651 --> 00:59:51,153
I am ashamed
I ever let you buy this camera.

923
00:59:51,155 --> 00:59:55,057
I am ashamed that I
didn't put a stop to this

924
00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:58,994
horror business
the moment it started.

925
00:59:58,996 --> 01:00:01,129
You know what, Zoe?

926
01:00:01,131 --> 01:00:04,199
I guess I'm just
ashamed of you.

927
01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:43,705
What are you doing?

928
01:00:43,707 --> 01:00:45,707
I'm leaving.

929
01:00:45,709 --> 01:00:46,842
How come?

930
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:50,112
You heard him!
He's ashamed of me.

931
01:00:50,114 --> 01:00:54,182
Where will you go?

932
01:00:54,184 --> 01:00:56,718
I ll stay at your
house tonight, and then..

933
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:58,420
I ll go live with my mom.

934
01:00:58,422 --> 01:01:00,155
Do you even know where she is?

935
01:01:00,157 --> 01:01:03,692
No, but I ll find her.

936
01:01:03,694 --> 01:01:06,795
What about the horror film?

937
01:01:06,797 --> 01:01:09,264
It's over.

938
01:01:33,691 --> 01:01:37,926
We need help
locating a missing person.

939
01:01:38,896 --> 01:01:41,029
Does this appear to
be a police station to you?

940
01:01:41,031 --> 01:01:44,366
No, but you re the only adult
we know who's talking to us.

941
01:01:44,368 --> 01:01:47,002
Well, I do happen to
be an expert on crime.

942
01:01:47,004 --> 01:01:49,471
This person isn't a criminal...

943
01:01:50,274 --> 01:01:51,773
we think.

944
01:01:51,775 --> 01:01:53,075
Well, who is it?

945
01:01:53,077 --> 01:01:54,843
Her mom.

946
01:01:54,845 --> 01:01:56,144
Your mother's missing?

947
01:01:56,146 --> 01:01:57,145
Yes.

948
01:01:57,147 --> 01:01:58,213
For how long?

949
01:01:58,215 --> 01:01:59,948
About ten years.

950
01:01:59,950 --> 01:02:01,249
How old are you?

951
01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:03,085
Ten.

952
01:02:03,087 --> 01:02:04,319
I see.

953
01:02:04,321 --> 01:02:06,188
So this isn't so
much a missing person

954
01:02:06,190 --> 01:02:07,989
as it is a person who
intentionally abandoned

955
01:02:07,991 --> 01:02:09,958
her daughter and
hasn't been seen since

956
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:10,926
is that right?

957
01:02:10,928 --> 01:02:12,027
Yes.

958
01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:13,212
And has it occurred to you that

959
01:02:13,213 --> 01:02:14,396
she might have
done this for a reason?

960
01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:16,215
As in, rather
than failing to share

961
01:02:16,216 --> 01:02:18,033
this information with you
because it slipped her mind

962
01:02:18,035 --> 01:02:19,468
she may have made
a deliberate decision

963
01:02:19,470 --> 01:02:20,902
that she doesn't
want to be bothered

964
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,471
by a sniveling cretin
who can't even remember

965
01:02:22,473 --> 01:02:24,005
to clean under her fingernails?

966
01:02:24,007 --> 01:02:26,041
You don't clean
under your fingernails!

967
01:02:26,043 --> 01:02:27,226
DWAYNE
Digression!

968
01:02:27,227 --> 01:02:28,410
You re completely
drifting from the point.

969
01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:29,945
Your mother
doesn't even know me.

970
01:02:29,947 --> 01:02:32,247
Try to be more logical.

971
01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:34,182
We just want help finding her.

972
01:02:34,184 --> 01:02:36,418
Look, if your mother
doesn't want to meet you

973
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:38,787
forcing the acquaintance on her
is not the kind of situation

974
01:02:38,789 --> 01:02:40,856
that's going to lead
to love and cupcakes.

975
01:02:40,858 --> 01:02:43,759
Meanwhile, I've been
working on your horror film.

976
01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:45,444
I've designed a
trip wedding cake

977
01:02:45,445 --> 01:02:47,128
that when you cut into
it, it spurts fake blood.

978
01:02:47,131 --> 01:02:49,765
You wanna see?

979
01:02:49,767 --> 01:02:51,833
We re here
for information.

980
01:02:51,835 --> 01:02:52,868
Fine.

981
01:02:52,870 --> 01:02:54,803
Have you
checked Facebook?

982
01:02:54,805 --> 01:02:56,338
She doesn't have an account.

983
01:02:56,340 --> 01:02:57,539
DWAYNE
Well when I was a boy

984
01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:59,007
we had an
old-fashioned device known

985
01:02:59,009 --> 01:03:00,475
as a telephone book.

986
01:03:00,477 --> 01:03:02,944
You could look up
addresses in a small metal hovel

987
01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:04,880
known as a
telephone booth.

988
01:03:04,882 --> 01:03:07,115
There's one conveniently
located at the bus station.

989
01:03:07,117 --> 01:03:12,053
You could look her up
and get right on a bus..

990
01:03:12,055 --> 01:03:13,922
I suggest you
avoid this step though!

991
01:03:13,924 --> 01:03:15,857
You re only setting
yourself up for pain.

992
01:03:15,859 --> 01:03:17,425
I have to find her.

993
01:03:17,427 --> 01:03:19,294
My dad doesn't love me.

994
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:21,363
Actually, I'd say

995
01:03:21,364 --> 01:03:23,431
all evidence so far points to
your mother not loving you.

996
01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:26,201
Although I suppose it's possible
that neither of them do.

997
01:03:26,203 --> 01:03:28,220
What do you know?

998
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:30,238
The only thing you re
good at is horror stuff!

999
01:03:32,509 --> 01:03:35,177
I also
specialize in magic!

1000
01:03:56,266 --> 01:03:59,968
I never wanted
to be like my mom.

1001
01:03:59,970 --> 01:04:01,603
You re not.

1002
01:04:01,605 --> 01:04:03,605
How do you know?

1003
01:04:03,607 --> 01:04:05,524
My dad's been telling me

1004
01:04:05,525 --> 01:04:07,442
my whole life not to rush
into things but I always do.

1005
01:04:07,444 --> 01:04:09,344
Just like her.

1006
01:04:09,346 --> 01:04:11,880
She rushed into getting married

1007
01:04:11,882 --> 01:04:13,348
when she was
too young to commit

1008
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:14,916
and she rushed
into having children

1009
01:04:14,918 --> 01:04:17,118
before she was old
enough to realize that

1010
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:20,422
she didn't even want us.

1011
01:04:20,424 --> 01:04:23,258
So marriage didn't
work out for her.

1012
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:25,627
It works out for some people.

1013
01:04:25,629 --> 01:04:28,063
It will for us.

1014
01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,465
How do you know?

1015
01:04:30,467 --> 01:04:32,534
I just do.

1016
01:04:34,037 --> 01:04:35,370
That doesn't seem
like a good enough

1017
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:38,974
reason to go through with this.

1018
01:04:38,976 --> 01:04:40,408
You know what?
You re right.

1019
01:04:40,410 --> 01:04:42,944
You do rush into things.

1020
01:04:42,946 --> 01:04:46,414
You rushed into trying
out for the soccer team

1021
01:04:46,416 --> 01:04:48,617
when you were
only a freshman.

1022
01:04:48,619 --> 01:04:52,587
And you made varsity.
You rushed into pre-med.

1023
01:04:52,589 --> 01:04:55,991
And now you re on track
to graduate with honors.

1024
01:04:55,993 --> 01:05:01,129
It's one of the things
that I love about you.

1025
01:05:01,131 --> 01:05:04,633
You re impulsive and passionate

1026
01:05:04,635 --> 01:05:07,903
and you jump into the
things you care about..

1027
01:05:07,905 --> 01:05:11,907
and see them through.

1028
01:05:14,645 --> 01:05:17,245
Why would marriage work for
me when it hasn't worked out

1029
01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:20,615
for anyone
else in my family?

1030
01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:22,584
I think marriage would have
worked out for your dad

1031
01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:26,221
if he'd married somebody
a little bit more like himself.

1032
01:05:26,223 --> 01:05:29,157
Look how well he
did raising you and Zoe

1033
01:05:29,159 --> 01:05:31,626
all by himself.

1034
01:05:31,628 --> 01:05:35,630
You don't think we
turned out kind of weird?

1035
01:05:35,632 --> 01:05:39,167
Yeah, I do.

1036
01:05:39,169 --> 01:05:42,370
You re weird when you laugh.

1037
01:05:42,372 --> 01:05:46,274
It's weird when you eat
leftover soup for breakfast.

1038
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:51,179
You have this weird little dent

1039
01:05:51,181 --> 01:05:54,649
on your lip
from when you bite it.

1040
01:06:01,058 --> 01:06:05,360
I love all the
weird things about you.

1041
01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:09,030
That's how I know
you re the one for me.

1042
01:06:09,032 --> 01:06:12,701
I love all the weird
things about you, too.

1043
01:06:12,703 --> 01:06:15,403
Then let's get married.

1044
01:06:27,985 --> 01:06:31,486
Are we to understand
the wedding's back on?

1045
01:06:34,458 --> 01:06:36,992
And where's it
going to take place?

1046
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:39,995
We thought we
could just get married here.

1047
01:06:39,997 --> 01:06:43,298
That's a fabulous idea.

1048
01:06:43,300 --> 01:06:46,301
I'm picturing..

1049
01:06:46,303 --> 01:06:49,371
swans.
On the lawn.

1050
01:06:52,209 --> 01:06:54,042
By the way

1051
01:06:54,044 --> 01:06:58,046
I couldn't help
noticing that Zoe's gone.

1052
01:06:58,048 --> 01:07:00,148
What do you mean, gone?

1053
01:07:00,150 --> 01:07:03,051
Well I went upstairs to
press her flower girl dress

1054
01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:04,452
and she wasn't there.

1055
01:07:04,454 --> 01:07:06,554
The bed didn't look
like it had been slept in.

1056
01:07:06,556 --> 01:07:08,456
Maybe she ran away.

1057
01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:10,291
She was pretty upset last night.

1058
01:07:10,293 --> 01:07:14,329
Did it look like she packed
her clothes or anything?

1059
01:07:14,331 --> 01:07:18,400
No, but that vampire poster
on her wall was missing..

1060
01:07:21,338 --> 01:07:24,506
Frankly, I felt it
looked better without it.

1061
01:07:24,508 --> 01:07:26,574
You two search the house.

1062
01:07:26,576 --> 01:07:29,244
I ll go find Francis.

1063
01:07:33,517 --> 01:07:37,318
Duh nuh nuh nuh!
Duh nuh nuh nuh! Duh nuh!

1064
01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:45,660
Uh, two in one morning!
This is really too much.

1065
01:07:45,662 --> 01:07:48,430
I can't deal with
these kind of interruptions.

1066
01:07:48,432 --> 01:07:52,767
Oh. It's you again.
What do you want?

1067
01:07:52,769 --> 01:07:54,135
Do you know
my daughter?

1068
01:07:54,137 --> 01:07:55,804
Zoe Balicki.

1069
01:07:55,806 --> 01:07:57,806
I might.

1070
01:07:57,808 --> 01:08:02,444
She's about this tall,
and she always carries a camera.

1071
01:08:02,446 --> 01:08:05,713
She's not dead
or anything, is she?

1072
01:08:05,715 --> 01:08:06,748
Of course not.

1073
01:08:06,750 --> 01:08:09,350
Fine.
She came in this morning.

1074
01:08:09,352 --> 01:08:13,521
Yes, I believe she
was asking you for advice?

1075
01:08:13,523 --> 01:08:16,324
A lot of people
ask me for advice.

1076
01:08:16,326 --> 01:08:18,493
I can't always keep
track of what I tell them.

1077
01:08:18,495 --> 01:08:20,328
You told Zoe to go
to the bus station and

1078
01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:21,696
look up her mom
in the phone book

1079
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:24,232
and then you said she-

1080
01:08:24,234 --> 01:08:26,668
Listen, we re not
accusing you of anything.

1081
01:08:26,670 --> 01:08:28,887
We just want to find her.

1082
01:08:28,888 --> 01:08:31,105
Well, then I suggest you
take the advice of this small

1083
01:08:31,108 --> 01:08:34,609
flesh-eating carnivore,
and call the bus station.

1084
01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:38,279
I'm dialing right now.

1085
01:08:38,281 --> 01:08:42,317
You know, I wouldn't
say this to her face but

1086
01:08:43,253 --> 01:08:44,853
your daughter's fairly talented.

1087
01:08:44,855 --> 01:08:47,139
I've seen her horror films

1088
01:08:47,140 --> 01:08:49,424
and she has the potential
to really be someone.

1089
01:08:49,426 --> 01:08:50,792
Someone like you?

1090
01:08:50,794 --> 01:08:53,461
I have chosen to focus
my talents in other spheres

1091
01:08:53,463 --> 01:08:56,865
such as the retail
industry and..

1092
01:08:56,867 --> 01:08:58,833
magic.

1093
01:08:58,835 --> 01:09:02,604
but I believe she's
primarily interested in horror.

1094
01:09:02,606 --> 01:09:06,141
Yeah, well sorry if horror

1095
01:09:06,143 --> 01:09:09,344
doesn't sound like
a viable career path.

1096
01:09:09,346 --> 01:09:11,479
It worked out
for Stanley Kubrick.

1097
01:09:11,481 --> 01:09:13,314
They didn't
sell her a bus ticket.

1098
01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:15,483
Okay, look.

1099
01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:17,651
If her mother wasn't
listed in the phone book,

1100
01:09:17,652 --> 01:09:19,819
do you have any idea where
else she might have gone?

1101
01:09:19,823 --> 01:09:23,291
I might know one
other place she might be.

1102
01:09:34,871 --> 01:09:35,937
ACTIVIST
Keep Portland weird!

1103
01:09:35,939 --> 01:09:39,207
Yeah,
we got that covered, thanks.

1104
01:10:04,467 --> 01:10:07,268
Zoe.

1105
01:10:07,270 --> 01:10:10,438
Come on.
We re going home.

1106
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:19,781
Hey!
I just got in line.

1107
01:10:19,783 --> 01:10:22,884
I can't believe we re
actually going to Vegas!

1108
01:10:22,886 --> 01:10:23,885
Neither can I.

1109
01:10:23,887 --> 01:10:26,821
Best bachelorette party ever!

1110
01:10:26,823 --> 01:10:29,224
Well, naturally.
I planned it.

1111
01:10:29,226 --> 01:10:30,992
I still think it's weird
that the mother of the bride

1112
01:10:30,994 --> 01:10:33,695
is going along on her
daughter's bachelorette party.

1113
01:10:33,697 --> 01:10:35,797
Anything to get
her out of the house.

1114
01:10:35,799 --> 01:10:37,932
Why can't I
go to Vegas?

1115
01:10:37,934 --> 01:10:40,868
Because
you re still grounded

1116
01:10:40,870 --> 01:10:43,771
for running away
from home and

1117
01:10:43,773 --> 01:10:46,874
Because ten-year-olds don't
go to these kinds of events..

1118
01:10:46,876 --> 01:10:48,977
I want you to be careful, okay?

1119
01:10:48,979 --> 01:10:51,279
Vegas is a
dangerous place.

1120
01:10:51,281 --> 01:10:53,248
Do not come back with pink eye.

1121
01:10:53,250 --> 01:10:55,783
You do not want pink eye
in all your wedding pictures.

1122
01:10:55,785 --> 01:10:56,985
Dad!
That's disgusting.

1123
01:10:56,987 --> 01:10:59,320
Yeah. Exactly.
It's very disgusting.

1124
01:10:59,322 --> 01:11:00,955
But it happens
at bachelor parties,

1125
01:11:00,957 --> 01:11:02,824
and I'm assuming
it can happen at

1126
01:11:02,826 --> 01:11:04,826
lesbian bachelorettes.

1127
01:11:04,828 --> 01:11:06,427
Your eye will swell up and

1128
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:08,997
you ll look like
a zombie who is ill.

1129
01:11:08,999 --> 01:11:13,401
How do you get pink eye?

1130
01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:16,471
Don't worry!
The wedding's in two days.

1131
01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:21,342
I won't let a thing happen
to these two beautiful girls.

1132
01:11:21,344 --> 01:11:22,577
Are you ready
for the big day?

1133
01:11:22,579 --> 01:11:23,678
Yup!

1134
01:11:23,679 --> 01:11:24,778
I've got my
ordination certificate

1135
01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:27,382
from the Universal
Life Church. right here.

1136
01:11:27,384 --> 01:11:29,651
Am I the only one who's
noticed that they've chosen

1137
01:11:29,653 --> 01:11:32,720
a self-proclaimed
witch to marry them?

1138
01:11:32,722 --> 01:11:35,857
Okay, I think that's everything!

1139
01:11:35,859 --> 01:11:38,760
You won't forget
that the ice sculptures

1140
01:11:38,762 --> 01:11:40,028
arrive Friday night

1141
01:11:40,030 --> 01:11:41,996
and the dove
wrangler will be here

1142
01:11:41,998 --> 01:11:44,399
bright and early
Saturday morning.

1143
01:11:44,401 --> 01:11:45,800
Yeah, got it.

1144
01:11:45,802 --> 01:11:46,934
Okay!

1145
01:11:46,936 --> 01:11:48,353
Well boys

1146
01:11:48,354 --> 01:11:49,771
why don't you
drive us to the airport

1147
01:11:49,773 --> 01:11:54,008
and then you can pick
up the fireworks displays?

1148
01:12:08,992 --> 01:12:11,426
Thank God it's nearly over.

1149
01:12:11,428 --> 01:12:13,695
OSCAR
You know

1150
01:12:13,696 --> 01:12:15,963
I never thought Zilla would
be the type to want a crazy

1151
01:12:15,965 --> 01:12:18,032
elaborate wedding like this.

1152
01:12:18,034 --> 01:12:21,102
Oh, Zilla doesn't
want this wedding.

1153
01:12:38,755 --> 01:12:40,655
We could still win the contest.

1154
01:12:40,657 --> 01:12:42,357
We have some
really good stuff.

1155
01:12:42,359 --> 01:12:44,392
Yeah, but how's
it going to end?

1156
01:12:44,394 --> 01:12:46,828
I couldn't get anybody
to do the monster dance.

1157
01:12:46,830 --> 01:12:49,497
And we re
almost out of time.

1158
01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:55,403
Maybe there
isn't a happy ending

1159
01:12:55,405 --> 01:12:57,872
so there is no monster dance.

1160
01:12:57,874 --> 01:12:59,841
Maybe it's a tragedy.

1161
01:12:59,843 --> 01:13:01,142
Like Bambi.

1162
01:13:01,144 --> 01:13:02,844
Bambi's not a tragedy.

1163
01:13:02,846 --> 01:13:07,648
The mom dies, Zoe.

1164
01:13:07,650 --> 01:13:11,986
Okay, so maybe
the werewolf dies.

1165
01:13:11,988 --> 01:13:14,722
Maybe he realizes
he can't marry the bride

1166
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,457
so he kills himself.

1167
01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:17,609
How?

1168
01:13:17,610 --> 01:13:18,760
Drive a stake
through his heart?

1169
01:13:18,762 --> 01:13:20,995
That's a vampire, Francis.

1170
01:13:20,997 --> 01:13:23,531
Werewolves can die any old way.

1171
01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:26,834
Normally it isn't about figuring
out how to kill the werewolf

1172
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:29,871
it's figuring out whether you re
going to be able to kill it

1173
01:13:29,873 --> 01:13:31,773
before it kills you.

1174
01:13:31,775 --> 01:13:35,743
Maybe he could
jump off the roof...

1175
01:13:39,682 --> 01:13:44,085
Uh uh.
It's too steep.

1176
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,987
I may have a panic attack.

1177
01:13:45,989 --> 01:13:49,056
Just don't throw
up on the costume.

1178
01:13:56,566 --> 01:13:59,934
I built something for you.

1179
01:14:02,872 --> 01:14:07,575
Step, step, step,
step, step, step, stop.

1180
01:14:09,546 --> 01:14:11,145
Are you ready?

1181
01:14:11,147 --> 01:14:13,214
Okay.

1182
01:14:20,123 --> 01:14:23,191
It's the most beautiful
coffin I've ever seen.

1183
01:14:24,761 --> 01:14:27,695
Well you know, it's
not Eco-friendly pine

1184
01:14:27,697 --> 01:14:31,499
but I hope it will do..

1185
01:14:32,235 --> 01:14:34,502
Whoa!

1186
01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:37,672
Let's try not to actually
have to put this to use

1187
01:14:37,674 --> 01:14:40,741
before our time, huh?

1188
01:15:01,698 --> 01:15:08,102
So what's the big surprise?

1189
01:15:08,104 --> 01:15:10,571
The Pink Spa!

1190
01:15:10,573 --> 01:15:13,074
DRAG QUEEN STYLIST
Welcome!

1191
01:15:13,076 --> 01:15:16,744
Three hours
of pure luxury.

1192
01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:18,613
We are going to
get our hair done.

1193
01:15:18,615 --> 01:15:20,515
We are going to
get our nails done.

1194
01:15:20,517 --> 01:15:22,750
And then we are
going out on the town.

1195
01:15:22,752 --> 01:15:24,118
And don't worry.

1196
01:15:24,120 --> 01:15:25,286
Everything's on me!

1197
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,788
Aaaahh!

1198
01:15:27,790 --> 01:15:29,123
You have got to be kidding me.

1199
01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,625
Oh, sweetheart-

1200
01:15:30,627 --> 01:15:32,627
No Mom, you've
been trying to trick me

1201
01:15:32,629 --> 01:15:34,829
into getting my
hair done since prom.

1202
01:15:34,831 --> 01:15:36,097
No way.

1203
01:15:36,099 --> 01:15:37,632
You guys go ahead.

1204
01:15:37,634 --> 01:15:39,200
I ll meet up with you later.

1205
01:15:39,202 --> 01:15:40,801
You re not even coming?

1206
01:15:40,803 --> 01:15:42,203
I don't want to
spend three hours

1207
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:43,771
painting my fingernails.

1208
01:15:43,773 --> 01:15:45,706
But-this is our
bachelorette party.

1209
01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:48,242
We re supposed to
be enjoying this together.

1210
01:15:48,244 --> 01:15:52,179
I'm sorry, this is not the
kind of thing that I enjoy.

1211
01:15:52,181 --> 01:15:55,082
But-this isn't the
kind of thing that-

1212
01:15:55,084 --> 01:15:56,851
I'm sorry, Zill.

1213
01:15:56,853 --> 01:15:58,920
I'm out.

1214
01:16:22,979 --> 01:16:24,745
Do you think it's
deep enough yet?

1215
01:16:24,747 --> 01:16:27,048
We have to get things
right this time, Francis.

1216
01:16:27,050 --> 01:16:29,116
It's supposed
to be six feet deep.

1217
01:16:29,118 --> 01:16:31,118
But we re not six feet tall.

1218
01:16:31,120 --> 01:16:32,353
How will we get out?

1219
01:16:32,355 --> 01:16:34,622
ZOE!

1220
01:16:35,992 --> 01:16:38,960
What the hell do
you think you re doing?

1221
01:16:41,331 --> 01:16:43,764
What is this?

1222
01:16:43,766 --> 01:16:45,199
Son of a bitch!

1223
01:16:45,201 --> 01:16:48,235
Don't,
you ll break it!

1224
01:16:57,213 --> 01:16:59,430
AAAHH!

1225
01:16:59,431 --> 01:17:01,648
I don't know any other way
of getting through to you, Zoe.

1226
01:17:01,651 --> 01:17:04,251
I have asked
you repeatedly

1227
01:17:04,253 --> 01:17:06,320
to give up
this horror stuff.

1228
01:17:06,322 --> 01:17:07,822
I have requested

1229
01:17:07,824 --> 01:17:10,024
that you stop
keeping bloody,

1230
01:17:10,026 --> 01:17:12,259
severed body
parts in the fridge.

1231
01:17:12,261 --> 01:17:14,662
I have begged you

1232
01:17:14,664 --> 01:17:17,098
not to shave
the neighbor's dogs

1233
01:17:17,100 --> 01:17:18,766
blow things up, or

1234
01:17:18,768 --> 01:17:21,235
dig coffin-shaped
holes in the lawn.

1235
01:17:21,237 --> 01:17:23,270
And now I am ordering you

1236
01:17:23,272 --> 01:17:26,140
to quit making
this horror film!

1237
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:28,275
I have to make it.
It's what I love.

1238
01:17:28,277 --> 01:17:31,145
No, no,
no you don't!

1239
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:33,914
Murderers may
love murdering people

1240
01:17:33,916 --> 01:17:35,816
but they don't have to do it!

1241
01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,752
It's the only
thing I care about!

1242
01:17:37,754 --> 01:17:39,888
It's in my soul.

1243
01:17:39,889 --> 01:17:42,023
Then there's something
seriously wrong with your soul!

1244
01:17:54,771 --> 01:17:58,239
You don't love me.

1245
01:17:58,241 --> 01:18:00,775
Sometimes Zoe

1246
01:18:00,777 --> 01:18:03,244
you make it hard.

1247
01:18:15,992 --> 01:18:18,459
Is it dry yet?

1248
01:18:19,929 --> 01:18:22,763
We ll shoot the rest of
the horror film tonight.

1249
01:18:22,765 --> 01:18:25,833
I ll put on the costume
and jump off the roof.

1250
01:18:28,137 --> 01:18:29,870
I wasn't going
to tell you this

1251
01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:31,305
until the morning
of the wedding.

1252
01:18:31,307 --> 01:18:33,374
But I have
another surprise.

1253
01:18:33,376 --> 01:18:34,875
Oh God.

1254
01:18:34,877 --> 01:18:39,313
I bought you and Lu
a special honeymoon package.

1255
01:18:39,315 --> 01:18:42,083
A week in the romance suite

1256
01:18:42,085 --> 01:18:44,919
at the Honeymoon Resort in...

1257
01:18:44,921 --> 01:18:47,121
Miami, Florida!

1258
01:18:47,123 --> 01:18:48,706
Oh my God.

1259
01:18:48,707 --> 01:18:50,290
A camping trip
in Colorado is...

1260
01:18:50,293 --> 01:18:53,360
just not that romantic.

1261
01:18:53,362 --> 01:18:54,829
Anyone can go camping.

1262
01:18:54,831 --> 01:18:58,065
And sleeping on hard
rocks for seven days

1263
01:18:58,067 --> 01:19:02,169
with a select assortment
of spiders and insects

1264
01:19:02,171 --> 01:19:05,139
is no way to start off
a harmonious marriage

1265
01:19:05,141 --> 01:19:06,340
I assure you.

1266
01:19:06,342 --> 01:19:07,508
Cora

1267
01:19:07,510 --> 01:19:09,744
I appreciate
the thought, but-

1268
01:19:09,746 --> 01:19:12,113
Don't mess
up your lip gloss!

1269
01:19:12,115 --> 01:19:15,950
Okay. Are you
ready to see yourself?

1270
01:19:15,952 --> 01:19:18,252
Ta da!

1271
01:19:24,193 --> 01:19:25,326
My hair.

1272
01:19:25,328 --> 01:19:28,229
Isn't it gorgeous?

1273
01:19:28,231 --> 01:19:29,764
It's blonde.

1274
01:19:29,766 --> 01:19:30,898
I thought it
would go perfectly

1275
01:19:30,900 --> 01:19:33,134
with your wedding dress!

1276
01:19:33,136 --> 01:19:36,203
Are you all ready yet?
It's been almost three ho-

1277
01:19:44,313 --> 01:19:46,046
I'm sorry, Zilla.

1278
01:19:46,048 --> 01:19:48,315
It's just that you
look like a cross between

1279
01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:52,887
a Barbie doll
and Queen Victoria.

1280
01:19:52,889 --> 01:19:55,956
This Is not,
A good time to laugh.

1281
01:20:11,874 --> 01:20:13,541
This will be great.

1282
01:20:13,543 --> 01:20:15,943
Are you sure?

1283
01:20:15,945 --> 01:20:18,095
Of course.

1284
01:20:18,096 --> 01:20:20,246
The werewolf will be
silhouetted against the trees.

1285
01:20:20,249 --> 01:20:23,884
No, I mean are
you sure it's safe?

1286
01:20:23,886 --> 01:20:26,220
Stunt doubles
do it all the time.

1287
01:20:26,222 --> 01:20:29,056
Well yeah, but I'm
pretty sure a lot of them die.

1288
01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:31,075
If I die

1289
01:20:31,076 --> 01:20:33,093
make sure this gets edited
and submitted before Sunday.

1290
01:20:36,098 --> 01:20:38,432
Hey, don't get mad at me.
You did this to yourself.

1291
01:20:38,434 --> 01:20:40,201
I didn't do this to myself!

1292
01:20:40,203 --> 01:20:41,335
Your mother did.

1293
01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:43,070
Exactly.
And you let her.

1294
01:20:43,072 --> 01:20:45,873
What part of my childhood
stories do you not understand?

1295
01:20:45,875 --> 01:20:48,142
Do not let this woman
get within three feet of you

1296
01:20:48,144 --> 01:20:50,511
with mascara, a curling
iron, or a set of tweezers!

1297
01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:52,580
I wouldn't have had
to if you hadn't left!

1298
01:20:52,582 --> 01:20:54,582
Oh, I'm supposed
to sit around here

1299
01:20:54,584 --> 01:20:56,917
and let my head get
dipped into toxic waste because

1300
01:20:56,919 --> 01:20:59,086
you don't have the guts to
stand up for who you are?

1301
01:20:59,088 --> 01:21:02,089
This isn't about that!
Why can't you understand?

1302
01:21:02,091 --> 01:21:03,457
Understand what?

1303
01:21:03,459 --> 01:21:05,125
That you want her for a mother?

1304
01:21:05,127 --> 01:21:07,928
This is what
having a mother is about!

1305
01:21:07,930 --> 01:21:10,130
She's been trying to
turn me into a beauty queen

1306
01:21:10,132 --> 01:21:13,133
pageant princess
for twenty-five years!

1307
01:21:13,135 --> 01:21:15,903
I've fought my whole life
for the right to be who I am

1308
01:21:15,905 --> 01:21:17,171
and I'm not
going to give that up

1309
01:21:17,173 --> 01:21:18,973
just because you want to
suck up to my mother.

1310
01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:21,976
Suck up to your mother? Is
that what you think I'm doing?

1311
01:21:21,978 --> 01:21:24,545
It seems like it to me, yeah.

1312
01:21:24,547 --> 01:21:27,414
You have no idea how
lucky you are to have a mom!

1313
01:21:27,416 --> 01:21:30,084
I'm getting a divorce!

1314
01:21:34,023 --> 01:21:36,090
What?

1315
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:44,365
Maybe the werewolf
could just take pills.

1316
01:21:44,367 --> 01:21:47,434
Just focus on the
cinematography, okay?

1317
01:21:52,375 --> 01:21:56,510
I didn't want to tell you
this until after the wedding.

1318
01:21:56,512 --> 01:22:00,014
Your father and I just..

1319
01:22:00,016 --> 01:22:04,184
well,
we can't stand each other.

1320
01:22:04,186 --> 01:22:07,521
And I wanted to throw
the perfect wedding

1321
01:22:07,523 --> 01:22:09,323
for you both

1322
01:22:09,325 --> 01:22:11,692
because I love you

1323
01:22:11,694 --> 01:22:15,129
and... I guess, well,

1324
01:22:15,131 --> 01:22:19,300
I wanted you to love me
more than you love your father.

1325
01:22:22,238 --> 01:22:25,105
Okay.

1326
01:22:27,043 --> 01:22:29,043
Okay, what?

1327
01:22:29,045 --> 01:22:32,112
Okay, we ll love
you more than Dad.

1328
01:22:34,116 --> 01:22:36,267
Really?

1329
01:22:36,268 --> 01:22:38,419
Yeah, it's not that hard,
Dad's kind of an asshole.

1330
01:22:41,958 --> 01:22:44,258
What can I do

1331
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:47,161
to give you both the
wedding of your dreams?

1332
01:22:47,163 --> 01:22:49,463
Mom, don't you understand?

1333
01:22:49,465 --> 01:22:52,132
I don't care about weddings.

1334
01:22:52,134 --> 01:22:54,468
I'm only doing this for Zilla.

1335
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,337
Are you kidding?

1336
01:22:56,339 --> 01:23:01,241
I don't even
want this wedding.

1337
01:23:01,243 --> 01:23:04,311
Then why are
we doing this?

1338
01:23:47,089 --> 01:23:49,089
Are you ready for this?

1339
01:23:49,091 --> 01:23:52,159
Anything to have it over with.

1340
01:23:59,635 --> 01:24:01,668
Well, it's
really happening.

1341
01:24:01,670 --> 01:24:04,138
Zilla is really
and truly becoming

1342
01:24:04,140 --> 01:24:06,306
a permanent lesbian.

1343
01:24:06,308 --> 01:24:08,308
You know

1344
01:24:08,310 --> 01:24:11,612
I once met a lesbian
at the senior center.

1345
01:24:11,614 --> 01:24:13,547
I think she had a crush on me.

1346
01:24:13,549 --> 01:24:16,817
Mom!
Did you lead her on?

1347
01:24:16,819 --> 01:24:18,786
I might have.

1348
01:24:18,788 --> 01:24:21,321
Well, she
was very attractive

1349
01:24:21,323 --> 01:24:24,391
considering she was a
woman and had false teeth.

1350
01:24:26,429 --> 01:24:28,629
Is everything ready to go?

1351
01:24:28,631 --> 01:24:30,798
Yes, thank God.

1352
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:33,067
The flowers are delivered

1353
01:24:33,069 --> 01:24:35,202
the goddamn ice
sculptures are in the basement

1354
01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:37,438
with four air
conditioning units

1355
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,139
and I finally got the
male swan to stop

1356
01:24:39,141 --> 01:24:41,842
attacking the violinist.

1357
01:24:41,844 --> 01:24:44,511
The wedding's off.

1358
01:24:45,514 --> 01:24:46,513
What?

1359
01:24:46,515 --> 01:24:47,848
What happened?

1360
01:24:47,850 --> 01:24:48,849
Did you have a fight?

1361
01:24:48,851 --> 01:24:51,118
No.

1362
01:24:52,321 --> 01:24:55,422
We got married in Vegas.

1363
01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:56,690
Dad, I'm really sorry.

1364
01:24:56,692 --> 01:24:58,425
I know how much
you worked on this.

1365
01:24:58,427 --> 01:25:01,395
I just...
we finally realized that...

1366
01:25:01,397 --> 01:25:03,464
neither of us
wanted this wedding.

1367
01:25:03,466 --> 01:25:06,600
All of this planning
was just driving us apart.

1368
01:25:12,141 --> 01:25:14,274
Zilla.

1369
01:25:14,276 --> 01:25:16,376
Everybody we know

1370
01:25:16,378 --> 01:25:20,180
is set to arrive at
our home in two hours.

1371
01:25:20,182 --> 01:25:24,351
There is a cake the size
of a truck in the garage.

1372
01:25:24,353 --> 01:25:28,122
The orchestra is
setting up out on the lawn.

1373
01:25:28,124 --> 01:25:30,457
I have been wrangling

1374
01:25:30,459 --> 01:25:34,461
various species of
vicious birds for 24 hours.

1375
01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,897
You cannot tell me
this wedding is off.

1376
01:25:36,899 --> 01:25:40,234
Dad, it's just
really not for us.

1377
01:25:40,236 --> 01:25:42,736
Um..

1378
01:25:42,738 --> 01:25:45,372
Zoe's in the hospital.

1379
01:25:48,878 --> 01:25:50,310
What happened?

1380
01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:52,212
I don't know.
They didn't say.

1381
01:25:52,214 --> 01:25:54,882
She was spending
the night at Francis's.

1382
01:25:54,884 --> 01:25:57,218
Oh God.

1383
01:25:57,219 --> 01:25:59,553
The last thing she said
before she left was that...

1384
01:25:59,555 --> 01:26:02,389
I don't love her.

1385
01:26:02,391 --> 01:26:03,690
What did you say?

1386
01:26:03,692 --> 01:26:08,195
I said, she makes
it hard sometimes.

1387
01:26:08,931 --> 01:26:13,433
Okay, bro.
It's going to be okay.

1388
01:26:13,435 --> 01:26:14,768
Also you re driving right now,

1389
01:26:14,770 --> 01:26:17,671
so I really need you
to look at the road.

1390
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:19,673
That was Francis's grandmother.

1391
01:26:19,675 --> 01:26:22,209
She said Zoe
jumped off the roof.

1392
01:26:22,211 --> 01:26:24,845
She's under anesthetic right
now so we can't see her yet.

1393
01:26:24,847 --> 01:26:28,916
But the nurse wants us to bring
her clothes and insurance card

1394
01:26:28,918 --> 01:26:32,452
and maybe a stuffed animal
or something to cheer her up.

1395
01:26:32,454 --> 01:26:33,820
Most of Zoe's stuffed animals

1396
01:26:33,822 --> 01:26:35,389
have parted
ways with their heads

1397
01:26:35,391 --> 01:26:37,958
so I don't know
how cheerful that is.

1398
01:26:37,960 --> 01:26:41,228
What else would
make her happy?

1399
01:26:41,230 --> 01:26:43,297
I know.

1400
01:27:05,487 --> 01:27:08,889
Go, go, go.

1401
01:27:10,826 --> 01:27:12,893
Goddamn it!

1402
01:27:22,438 --> 01:27:25,505
We need to go to Good
Samaritan Hospital, pronto.

1403
01:27:25,507 --> 01:27:26,974
LIMO DRIVER
I'm here to drive newlyweds

1404
01:27:26,976 --> 01:27:29,710
to the airport.
You are not a newlywed.

1405
01:27:29,712 --> 01:27:32,713
No, we are.

1406
01:27:36,652 --> 01:27:39,953
Hey, hey!

1407
01:27:39,955 --> 01:27:42,856
I do weddings. Not funerals!

1408
01:27:42,858 --> 01:27:44,324
You take a right on Cornell!

1409
01:27:44,326 --> 01:27:46,560
No no no, take
the freeway, it's faster!

1410
01:27:46,562 --> 01:27:48,362
I am a professional chauffeur

1411
01:27:48,364 --> 01:27:50,597
and I do not
tolerate backseat driving!

1412
01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:53,667
EVERYONE
No, no, no, no, no-

1413
01:27:59,642 --> 01:28:01,041
Hey, hey!

1414
01:28:01,043 --> 01:28:02,826
You cannot park here.

1415
01:28:02,827 --> 01:28:04,610
It's an emergency.
We have an injured child.

1416
01:28:04,613 --> 01:28:07,681
Okay, well let's get him inside.

1417
01:28:09,351 --> 01:28:12,452
Why is he already in a coffin?

1418
01:28:16,659 --> 01:28:17,958
NURSE
You cannot bring that in here!

1419
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,760
It's for my daughter.

1420
01:28:19,762 --> 01:28:21,495
You don't
understand, sir.

1421
01:28:21,497 --> 01:28:24,564
Your daughter's not dead.

1422
01:28:30,506 --> 01:28:32,306
I ain't dead yet.

1423
01:28:32,308 --> 01:28:35,809
My apologies, ma am.

1424
01:28:35,811 --> 01:28:38,312
I was trying to tell you, sir

1425
01:28:38,314 --> 01:28:40,480
your daughter has been
moved to the recovery wing.

1426
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:42,416
She is very much alive.

1427
01:28:42,418 --> 01:28:44,484
Now you re going to
have to take that downstairs.

1428
01:28:44,486 --> 01:28:47,554
That is not the kind of
thing we find uplifting here.

1429
01:28:51,627 --> 01:28:54,211
DOCTOR
She was lucky.

1430
01:28:54,212 --> 01:28:56,796
She hit the edge of a trampoline
and rolled off into soft shrubs.

1431
01:28:56,799 --> 01:29:00,100
Had she hit the ground,
she might not have made it.

1432
01:29:04,540 --> 01:29:08,975
I don't know if you can
hear me right now, but um..

1433
01:29:08,977 --> 01:29:13,447
I just wanted to
let you know that

1434
01:29:14,049 --> 01:29:16,983
your coffin is waiting for you.

1435
01:29:16,985 --> 01:29:20,087
Okay?

1436
01:29:20,089 --> 01:29:23,357
It's here whenever
you re ready to use it.

1437
01:29:36,805 --> 01:29:40,107
I feel like Lu's dad
could be a mummy.

1438
01:29:40,109 --> 01:29:43,076
I was thinking
more like a vampire.

1439
01:29:43,078 --> 01:29:46,847
But he's pale, like a mummy.

1440
01:29:46,849 --> 01:29:49,015
DWAYNE
Vampires are pale.

1441
01:29:49,017 --> 01:29:52,853
Look at the way those
veins pop out of his forehead.

1442
01:29:52,855 --> 01:29:54,988
Like a vampire.

1443
01:29:54,990 --> 01:29:56,690
FRANCIS
But mummies are easy.

1444
01:29:56,692 --> 01:29:58,959
Just wrap him
up in toilet paper.

1445
01:29:58,961 --> 01:30:00,427
Francis, how are
we going to wrap him

1446
01:30:00,429 --> 01:30:03,997
in toilet paper
without him noticing?

1447
01:30:03,999 --> 01:30:06,867
Next?

1448
01:30:06,869 --> 01:30:09,503
Oh, mine's not real.

1449
01:30:09,505 --> 01:30:11,838
You go ahead.

1450
01:30:17,780 --> 01:30:19,513
Zilla?

1451
01:30:19,515 --> 01:30:21,982
We all bought
presents for Zoe.

1452
01:30:21,984 --> 01:30:23,850
OLD MAN
Nobody ever brings me presents.

1453
01:30:23,852 --> 01:30:27,587
Mm mm.

1454
01:30:27,589 --> 01:30:30,757
That's so nice.
But she's still asleep.

1455
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:32,025
We ll put them in the coffin

1456
01:30:32,027 --> 01:30:35,028
and she can enjoy them
when she wakes up. Okay?

1457
01:30:35,030 --> 01:30:38,098
Me first.
I brought maggots.

1458
01:30:38,100 --> 01:30:40,067
ANGIE
Fake blood.

1459
01:30:40,068 --> 01:30:42,035
I mean, I know she just
had real blood transfusions.

1460
01:30:42,037 --> 01:30:44,504
So she might not
need it until later.

1461
01:30:44,506 --> 01:30:46,807
A shriveled hand.

1462
01:30:46,809 --> 01:30:48,675
Edible eyeballs.

1463
01:30:48,677 --> 01:30:50,777
False teeth.

1464
01:30:50,778 --> 01:30:52,878
Wait a second.
Mom, do you have an extra pair?

1465
01:30:57,719 --> 01:31:00,754
Um, it's a colander.

1466
01:31:00,756 --> 01:31:04,891
We got it for
Zilla and Lu, but...

1467
01:31:04,893 --> 01:31:06,626
Liver.

1468
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,929
This should
probably be refrigerated.

1469
01:31:08,931 --> 01:31:10,897
Pickled fingers.

1470
01:31:10,899 --> 01:31:14,100
I noticed her supply in the
refrigerator was dwindling

1471
01:31:14,102 --> 01:31:15,535
and I don't want to know why

1472
01:31:15,537 --> 01:31:17,604
so here's a replacement.

1473
01:31:20,108 --> 01:31:23,009
Y'all are sick.

1474
01:31:29,952 --> 01:31:32,052
Francis.

1475
01:31:32,054 --> 01:31:34,154
Why did Zoe jump?

1476
01:31:34,156 --> 01:31:35,789
For our horror film.

1477
01:31:35,791 --> 01:31:37,991
We needed the
footage for the ending.

1478
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,893
It wasn't because of me?

1479
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:42,762
Why would it be?

1480
01:31:42,764 --> 01:31:46,166
I thought maybe it was
because I yelled at her.

1481
01:31:46,168 --> 01:31:50,036
Ugh.
Typical parental narcissism.

1482
01:31:50,038 --> 01:31:52,839
Your daughter is a very
dedicated horror devotee.

1483
01:31:52,841 --> 01:31:54,808
Why would she end herself
two days before the deadline

1484
01:31:54,810 --> 01:31:57,277
without good reason?

1485
01:31:58,814 --> 01:32:00,847
What deadline?

1486
01:32:08,924 --> 01:32:10,991
Ready?

1487
01:33:04,646 --> 01:33:06,313
I'd also be willing
to wear the blue taffeta

1488
01:33:06,315 --> 01:33:08,748
- with rhinestones.
- Who are you, Liberace?

1489
01:33:08,750 --> 01:33:10,750
If Pat gets to wear
that, I want to wear this.

1490
01:33:10,752 --> 01:33:15,722
This is not just choose
your favorite gender day!

1491
01:33:15,724 --> 01:33:17,357
There are RULES!

1492
01:33:19,962 --> 01:33:22,862
ROOOOOAAAARR!

1493
01:33:22,864 --> 01:33:25,899
AAAAAAHHHH!

1494
01:33:29,638 --> 01:33:31,705
Mom! Mom!

1495
01:33:52,060 --> 01:33:53,860
Zoe!

1496
01:33:53,862 --> 01:33:54,894
It's okay.

1497
01:33:54,896 --> 01:33:55,895
Oh my God.

1498
01:33:55,897 --> 01:33:59,966
Awooooooo!!!

1499
01:34:10,345 --> 01:34:12,712
Everybody be quiet.

1500
01:34:12,714 --> 01:34:16,650
We re going to have a
NICE FAMILY EVENT!

1501
01:34:17,919 --> 01:34:21,855
Zoe, did you..

1502
01:34:21,857 --> 01:34:23,957
shave this dog?

1503
01:34:23,959 --> 01:34:26,192
I asked you to
represent the family

1504
01:34:26,194 --> 01:34:28,428
and they ended up in jail.

1505
01:34:28,430 --> 01:34:29,829
Why is Francis here?

1506
01:34:29,831 --> 01:34:31,931
Why is Francis always here?

1507
01:34:31,933 --> 01:34:33,199
Zoe!

1508
01:34:33,201 --> 01:34:35,935
What the hell do
you think you re doing?

1509
01:34:35,937 --> 01:34:39,005
It's not enough that you re
ruining your sister's wedding?

1510
01:34:45,414 --> 01:34:47,981
Aaaaahhh!

1511
01:34:47,983 --> 01:34:49,849
Woooaaaahhh!

1512
01:34:49,851 --> 01:34:51,184
Aaaaahhh!

1513
01:34:51,186 --> 01:34:53,219
Aaaaahhh! Aaaaahhh!

1514
01:34:53,221 --> 01:34:55,889
A paper cut!

1515
01:35:23,452 --> 01:35:26,720
Francis, you re
kind of in the way here.

1516
01:35:58,453 --> 01:36:01,421
Oh my God.

1517
01:36:01,423 --> 01:36:03,356
What happens next?

1518
01:36:03,358 --> 01:36:04,924
We haven't
written it yet.

1519
01:36:04,926 --> 01:36:09,162
Well! It was really
quite good, wasn't it?

1520
01:36:09,164 --> 01:36:11,831
Really captured my
impression of the whole wedding.

1521
01:36:11,833 --> 01:36:15,001
She's certainly
an odd child, isn't she?

1522
01:36:15,003 --> 01:36:19,506
I- I've tried to
make her normal.

1523
01:36:19,508 --> 01:36:20,507
Why bother?

1524
01:36:20,509 --> 01:36:24,210
She's great
the way she is.

1525
01:36:24,212 --> 01:36:29,415
You don't think she'd be better
playing with, you know, dolls..

1526
01:36:29,417 --> 01:36:30,984
instead of human skulls?

1527
01:36:30,986 --> 01:36:34,154
Dad, you can give Zoe
all the dolls you want but..

1528
01:36:34,156 --> 01:36:37,056
she's going to
murder all of them.

1529
01:36:37,058 --> 01:36:38,525
People have to be who they are.

1530
01:36:38,527 --> 01:36:42,128
And we should
embrace them for that.

1531
01:36:42,130 --> 01:36:45,431
What are we going
to do about the wedding?

1532
01:36:45,433 --> 01:36:49,969
Well, we have a catered
banquet spoiling in the kitchen

1533
01:36:50,906 --> 01:36:55,341
a wedding no one wants
set up on the back lawn and..

1534
01:36:55,343 --> 01:37:00,013
about $10,000 worth of
flowers that are probably dead.

1535
01:37:00,015 --> 01:37:01,047
Poor Zoe.

1536
01:37:01,049 --> 01:37:03,450
She's going to be devastated

1537
01:37:03,451 --> 01:37:05,852
when she wakes
up in the hospital.

1538
01:37:05,854 --> 01:37:08,421
Guys.

1539
01:37:08,423 --> 01:37:11,491
I know a way we
could fix both problems.

1540
01:37:21,269 --> 01:37:22,869
Why can't I just walk?

1541
01:37:22,871 --> 01:37:25,538
You know you need
to stay off your feet.

1542
01:37:25,540 --> 01:37:27,273
Stupid cast.

1543
01:37:27,275 --> 01:37:31,244
I don't want to hear you
complaining about your cast.

1544
01:37:31,246 --> 01:37:34,948
People who jump off
roofs end up in casts

1545
01:37:34,950 --> 01:37:38,017
and they re lucky
they re not dead.

1546
01:37:42,057 --> 01:37:43,323
Now your sister's
getting married

1547
01:37:43,325 --> 01:37:45,358
and I want you to be
at your best behavior.

1548
01:37:45,360 --> 01:37:49,996
I want you to pretend
to be a normal, polite child.

1549
01:37:49,998 --> 01:37:54,267
Oh, Francis dropped
off your video camera.

1550
01:37:54,269 --> 01:37:56,336
I don't need it anymore.

1551
01:37:56,338 --> 01:37:58,004
What are you talking about?

1552
01:37:58,006 --> 01:38:00,106
You need to film
your sister's wedding.

1553
01:38:00,108 --> 01:38:02,909
I don't want to.

1554
01:38:02,911 --> 01:38:05,445
You either switch on the camera

1555
01:38:05,447 --> 01:38:08,514
or I'm going upstairs and
grabbing your flower girl dress.

1556
01:40:14,309 --> 01:40:17,377
END CREDITS