invaderzimriToday at 12:46 PM
hi matt, how are you doing?

funsizedToday at 12:52 PM
eh

invaderzimriToday at 12:54 PM
what's up
were you able to eaet a bit more?

funsizedToday at 12:54 PM
yesterday yea but I'm starting a fast later today

invaderzimriToday at 12:55 PM
matt, if you don't keep eating for the next two weeks or so the syndrome is going to get worse
why are you fasting?

funsizedToday at 12:55 PM
oh I ate enough yesterday that like my body is back to normal-ish
it's back to my normal

invaderzimriToday at 12:56 PM
your normal is not healthy normal, matt
can you start a semi-fast, if you need to restrict that badly? you need to be eating at least enough that your body learns it needs to digest food, to help the syndrome

funsizedToday at 12:57 PM
ik I'm fineeeee
I spent Fri and Saturday eating cheerios slowly and sllwlu
until I was able to have a full meal

invaderzimriToday at 12:57 PM
!!a full meal is really good

funsizedToday at 12:57 PM
it's just that I'm starting a 2 weeks group fast so later tonight I gotta start a 24 hr fast

invaderzimriToday at 12:59 PM
a group fast? i thought the group thing was going to be a healthy thing where you eat more
matt, you realize that doing this can kill you right
who are you doing this group fast with?

funsizedToday at 1:02 PM
I'm fine zim

invaderzimriToday at 1:03 PM
you act different when you aren't fine
i know we're not like best buddies but i can tell when something is wrong and i know something has been very wrong
you're more stressed and you lash out at people more easily, and you insist you're fine more when you aren't fine
i'm really worried for you. i have more to say, of course, but that's the most important thing right now is that i am very worried and i know a lot of people are very worried, too.
i can't tell you what to do or how to do it... but i know you're hurting and i know i want to help

funsizedToday at 1:06 PM
I've been pissy because I got fucking betrayed by my first mod and by 2 people who were previous mods in my server that I feel like I have no fucking control over and I've been debating demoting everyone and getting a new team
not bc of fasting
ive been fasting for months

invaderzimriToday at 1:07 PM
i know, but that's piling up
you fast for months and then this? that's stress on top of stress
matt, the server is hurting you
it's adding stress on top of stress on top of stress
you're trying to manage a server and manage your life on top of that. you need to focus on helping yourself
i know emma hurt you, but i've also been talking to her and i can tell you that she feels really bad

funsizedToday at 1:08 PM
fasting doesn't stress me out

invaderzimriToday at 1:08 PM
she's lamented to me about wishing she had been more involved on the server where the venting happened so she could have stopped it

funsizedToday at 1:08 PM
and I don't give a fuck if she feels bad
I really don't care
oh well she fucking  feels bad that doesn't undo anything
maybe she should have fucking thought about that before

invaderzimriToday at 1:09 PM
nobody can undo anything, we can only move towards the future
you don't need to forgive emma, you have no obligation to forgive her
i'm not saying that you need to be friends again or fix anything, i'm just trying to explain what i've seen, that's all

funsizedToday at 1:10 PM
she should be happy I'm even giving the 3 of them the option to stay in the server

invaderzimriToday at 1:10 PM
emma doesn't have any obligation to be happy, neither do you
from her side, the situation is very different. from my side, it's very different. your perspective is valid but it doesn't dictate anyone else's
matt, i'm going to assume for a moment that what you're saying is true and there really isn't anything wrong.
why am i so worried about you, then?
if there's nothing to support you with, what's wrong with me that i'm so worried for you?
if there's nothing wrong on your end, why have you lashed out at people on the server, and how do we fix that situation?
what's wrong with me that i'm so worried?

funsizedToday at 1:13 PM
idfk
idk why you're even getting fucking involved in any of this
when it's not even any of your fucking business
I already told you what's fucking wrong

invaderzimriToday at 1:13 PM
it's my business when it affects me, and it's affecting me
man, i had a panic attack over this situation and i cried and couldn't breathe last night
i contemplated killing myself because of this shit

funsizedToday at 1:14 PM
don't know why that would happen to you considering that this situation has literally nothing to do with you

invaderzimriToday at 1:14 PM
you guys are extremely important to me and when something affects you it affects me

funsizedToday at 1:14 PM
you've inserted yourself into the situation for no reason
I'm fine
idk why you're inserting yourself into something that had nothing to do w you from the beginning
just to stress over?

invaderzimriToday at 1:15 PM
because you are my friend. and when something happens to my friends, it affects me.
because i have empathy, matt, and i feel bad when bad things happen to people i love
because it's obvious that you're not fine (you're blowing off me being suicidal, there's gotta be something wrong, i know you're kinder than this, matt) and i want to help you
because a while ago i called CPS on emma's mom and i've been involved in her life to such an extreme extent that i can't pull away now.

funsizedToday at 1:16 PM
there's nothing to fucking help
so if you could stop messaging me about shit that isn't your fucking business
I'd really appreciate it
that's how you can help
leave me alone

invaderzimriToday at 1:17 PM
if i stop messaging you, will you fix the situation?

funsizedToday at 1:19 PM
nothing that YOU will do will fix the situation because ITS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS
unless you want me to block you too LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

invaderzimriToday at 1:19 PM
i'll stop messaging you now. think about what you said to me today. have a good one.