Have Some Dash - Have Some SB

Sep 8th, 2015
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  1. >"Anon, whatcha doin?"
  2. "Wondering how you got into my apartment again"
  3. >You are Anon
  4. >just your average, everyday shitposter living in a two bedroom apartment
  5. >And behind you was an annoying little girl who always seemed to get in your house
  6. >"What does 'lewd' mean?"
  7. >You sigh and put your head on your hand
  8. >It's been a pretty rough night shift of stocking
  9. >You sigh
  10. "it means naughty"
  11. >"oh.... so why were you saying something was 'naughty'"
  12. "Because people like to post naughty stuff on the internet.... also never go on the internet without your older sister nearby"
  13. >Fuck her older sister
  14. >Living next to you is Sweetie belle and her whore of an older sister
  15. >Walls are pretty solid, but jesus christ does she have powerful lungs
  16. >"Okay"
  17. >You go back to your thread watcher and go back to the dubs thread on /a/
  18. >You managed to get three gets out of your twenty posts
  19. >You're about to post one more dubs reaction image, before you hear Sweetie Belle wander off
  20. >"Anon, why do you have a flash light with a mouth!"
  21. >She's going through your shit again
  22. >You don't even bat an eye anymore
  23. >You yell back to the other room
  24. "Ask your sister about it!"
  25. >Fuck that bitch
  26. >Despite all your complaints she still can't keep a goddamn eye on her little sister
  27. >"Anon, is this katana real!?"
  28. "Yup, but it's cursed by some norwegian guy, I'm talking to someone on craiglist about that!"
  29. >"Anon, can I eat your McDonalds!?"
  30. "Sure!"
  31. >You crack a smile as you type in a reply, 'If I took off the mask, would you die'
  32. >"Anon, what's the number for 911!?"
  33. "nine-eleven!"
  34. >"Okay!"
  35. ...
  36. ...
  37. ...
  38. >"Hi miss, I'm at Anon apartment!"
  39. "Wait, fuck."
  40. >"No, he's just a nice guy who gave McDonalds!"
  41. "Sweetie Belle give me back the fucking phone!"
  42. >"Anon, what does 'fucking' mean!?"
  44. >"Anon, where are going?"
  45. >You walk along side Sweetie Belle through the empty, city, sidewalks
  46. >Actually you were taking her out to eat
  47. >You had nothing left to eat and just didn't feel like cooking and had no dishes
  48. >So only logically choice was to take her with you
  49. "To a food place"
  50. >"What kind of food place"
  51. "One of my favorite food places"
  52. >"So what's that?"
  53. "A restaraunt"
  54. >"Anooon..."
  55. >You chuckle to yourself
  56. >It's been awhile since you've had to entertain kiddos, but you've had cousins before
  57. "Okay okay, fine, you win."
  58. >You pause as she leans in while she walks
  59. >she gives a frustrated look begging you to continue
  60. >You stop in your track turn around and look her in the eye
  61. >Anticipation wells up in her
  62. >You take a deep breath
  63. >She practically on the edge of her seat
  64. >You open your mouth very slowly
  65. >Sweat drips from her forehead
  66. >You wave a hand at the building to your right
  67. "We're here"
  68. >Sweetie Belle's face fall flat and shoulder's slump forward
  69. >You happily open the door to the 50's diner and stroll in
  70. >You wait in the open area between two halves of the restaurant with a floor of booths on both sides
  71. >You see the waitress' on both sides of the diner were already taking care of a couple tables so you just walk over to the counter
  72. >Sweetie looks around unsure, before you wave her over
  73. >"Wait we're sitting over there"
  74. "Yeah"
  75. >She takes a seat at the counter with you
  76. >"I never get to sit up here"
  77. >You pick up two menus resting on top of the napkin holder and pass one to the runt
  78. >You glance at the menu, only out of habit since you always get the same thing
  79. >"Hello, welcome to Joe's Diner, you been here before"
  80. >You look up from your menu to see a solid 8/10 lookin at you from behind the counter
  81. >Top milf quality, can practically hear 'ara ara'
  82. >You almost trip up and have to hesitate for a second
  83. >Sweetie Belle speaks up though
  84. >"Nope it's my first time"
  85. >She says in her cute, perky, people-who-don't-know-me-are-around voice
  86. >"How bout you, hon?"
  88. "I'm a regular"
  89. >"Well, how bout I get you two started with drinks"
  90. >"Can I get a sprite?"
  91. >"Sure, you"
  92. >She points a pen over at you
  93. >dat voice, dose lips, dem curves
  94. >Luckily your eyes are well trained to keep eye casual face contact
  95. "Dr. Pepper please"
  96. >The drink of geniuses
  97. >"Sure thing, I'll be right back"
  98. >After she walks away, you release the breath you were holding and deflate a bit
  99. >You're not sure how long your boner could've held up
  100. >"Do you think she was pretty?"
  101. >Just loud enough for the waitress to hear
  102. >Don't even turn your head
  103. "Shuddup and figure out what you want to eat"
  104. >You grin to yourself
  105. >Man, if only she was on the menu
  106. >Fuck you gotta remember that one. Never know when it could be useful
  107. "So, Sweetie Belle..."
  108. >She looks away from her menu up at you
  109. "Did you start it or did your sister start it"
  110. >She gives you a fake blank look, pretending to not understand
  111. "You usually wait until your sister's mad at you before you give me a visit"
  112. >"uhhhh..."
  113. >She tries to hide in her menu
  114. >"Don't know what you're talking about, Anon, I'm just looking at the menu"
  115. >Elbow on the counter, you lean against your fist
  116. >Shit you got time
  117. >"Your drinks"
  118. >You straighten up in a second and smile over to the waitress
  119. >She hands over your drink with smooth smile
  120. >Fuck, she knows she's got you
  121. >Brown hair that goes to her shoulders with a scrunchie near the end
  122. >White apron
  123. >Child bearing hips
  124. >Never stood a chance
  125. >Too bad you're not 'that' guy or else you would totally flip spaghetti to hit on her
  126. "Thanks"
  127. >"You two know what you want?"
  128. >Look over to the girl hidden stealthily in her menu
  129. "I know what I want, how bout you kiddo?"
  130. >She peeks her head up from the menu innocently
  131. >Waitress puts her hand over her chest
  132. >Gotta give Sweetie props, that was fucking adorable
  133. >"Can I get the chicken nuggers?"
  134. >You crack a smile
  135. >No fucking way
  136. >You grab your menu from the table and quickly glance at the kid's dinner
  137. >No fucking way
  138. >intense kekking internally
  140. >The waitress smiles, but probably doesn't get it
  141. >It actually is in fucking black and white
  142. >Official as fuck
  143. >"Sure thing sweet pea. You?"
  144. >She's lookin at you hunched back pointing her pen at you
  145. >One arm tucked under her mammaries, giving you a full 1920x920 of oppai.jpg
  146. >Boner is trying to breach containment
  147. "I'll have a swiss bacon cheeseburger, with mushroom on sourdough bread"
  148. >"How'd you like that cook"
  149. "Medium"
  150. >"Fries or onion rings?"
  151. "Cheese fries please"
  152. >You're a sucker for velveeta
  153. >"Alrighty then, I'll get that out in just a sec"
  154. >She leaves
  155. >Boner please
  156. >You take a good look at dat ass incognito
  157. >After she's gone you deflate x2
  158. >You look over at Sweetie who is still gopher hole peeking at you
  159. >You can’t see her mouth, but you know smug animu face when you see one
  160. >Before she gets the upper hand
  161. "So about you and your sister"
  162. >She slowly decends back behind the plastic protected paper
  163. >After years of training you know how to do this
  164. >You slowly reach your hand to the menu
  165. >She slowly retracts
  166. >You still approach
  167. >She can't lean back any further from her stool
  168. >You grab her shield and slowly peel it back from covering her face
  169. >She starts melting more into her seat
  170. >After shes laying back flat from her seat with a menu on her face
  171. "Okay now this is just plain ridiculous"
  172. >One swift jerk and she's become vulnerable
  173. >Her face is of adorable, disgusted defeat
  174. >"Uuuuuughhh"
  175. "Cmon now, sit up straight"
  176. >She flails her arms in the air before you grab one
  177. >She grabs a hold of your wrist, but doesn't pull herself up
  178. >lazy ass
  179. >Once she up she has her hands in her lap and is kicking her feet, nervously looking away
  180. "Cmon, out with it"
  181. >"ummm, well, this time..."
  182. >Fuckin called it
  183. >"Well, Rarity had this really beautiful dress she's been working on..."
  184. >You motion her to keep talk
  185. "Yeaahhhh"
  186. >"And so, I though maybe I could help her a bit"
  187. >You played along
  188. "Just a bit right?"
  189. >"Yeah exactly!"
  191. >"So, I sprinkled some gold glitter"
  192. >She said as she grew smaller
  193. >Fuck, you've been around enough little cousins to know what glitter can do
  194. >That shit'll fuck you up no matter how careful you were
  195. >You keep cool,still playing
  196. "Only a sprinkle right"
  197. >"Yeah! just a sprinkle"
  198. "So how did Rarity react?"
  199. >"I dunno"
  200. >You quirk eyebrow still smiling
  201. "You don't know?"
  202. >"She should be figuring it out right now"
  204. <><><><><><><>meanwhile at ground zero<><><><><><><>
  208. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
  210. >Clever girl
  211. "So what's the plan?"
  212. >"throw myself at the mercy of court?"
  213. "And then?"
  214. >"Maybe start crying?"
  215. >God you love this kid
  216. "Don't forget to remind her about how she doesn't spend enough time with you"
  217. >"Oh that's good too!"
  218. >You both take a sip of your soda in sync
  219. >after an annoying yet satisfying, synced "ahhh". you turn back to her
  220. "So how long has she been working on it?"
  221. >"two months," she says nonchalantly
  222. "Shit"
  223. >"She nods pursing her lips
  224. >You think over it a bit
  225. "Tell you what"
  226. >You point at her
  227. "If you got the dough, I'll let you stay at my place"
  228. >She hurriedly pats the sides of her skirt
  229. >sticks her tongue at as she digs through one, and produces a $20 bill
  230. >She smiles in relief handing over the bill to your outstretched hands knowing she'll be able to live through the night
  231. >Straight from the coffers of Rarity's purse
  232. >You put it up your nose and savor the smell of ill gotten gains
  233. "alright, this'll get you one safe haven for 14 hours and a dinner and breakfast."
  234. >"Sweet! Anon, you're the best"
  235. >She hugs you
  236. "Well, anything for the world's best Sweetie"
  237. >Yeah, she can sneak into your apartment whether you let her or not
  238. >You thinks she's coming through the ventilation system, but you can't be sure
  239. >She never makes any fucking noise until she right behind you
  240. >You've been going dry for the past six weeks and it's killing you
  242. How did your dad ever go so long without a women or porn?
  243. >Guess it's just that discipline of mind
  244. >Gotta be strong... cause you're too scared to get caught
  245. >You put your dirty money in your front pocket
  246. "Alright but the bed time is 11:00 o clock"
  247. >"Really, I can stay up to 11?"
  248. >You are going to be the coolist babysitter ever
  249. "Hell, yeah"
  250. >"But it's a school night!"
  251. "When does the bus come to pick you up?"
  252. >"At five thirty"
  253. "Shit, I'll wake you up at five"
  254. >"You're best, Anon"
  255. "Yeah I know... you can let go of me now"
  256. >"Yeah, I know."
  257. >You smile and embrace her
  258. "Also, our food almost here"
  259. >"What!?"
  260. >Her stomach growled furiously and broke out of your grip
  261. >Right on time, the waitress came over with your hot plates, waiting to be devour
  262. >"Cheeseburger and chicken nuggets. Will there be anything else I can get for you two?"
  263. >just one hour alone with you
  264. >Okay that one was a little more creepy than smooth. Gotta work more on it
  265. "Nope, we're good"
  266. >You steal one of Sweetie Belle's fries, before you two dug into your heart attack meals
  267. >Honestly the warm feeling in your heart, a satisfied feeling in your stomach, and the bulge in your pant returning to its slumber, you felt pretty damn good today
  269. >It was a quick meal
  270. >You always ate with a fast pace and Sweetie Belle tried to keep up with the champ
  271. >Oh who are you kidding, you felt like hell now
  272. >Your stomach's reprimanding you for eating too much too fast making you feel like shit... but in a good way
  273. >"You both enjoyed your meal?"
  274. >Sweetie belle's lying flat on her back, moaning like a zombie
  275. >You chuckle a bit at her expense, before turning at your waitress
  276. "It was perfect."
  277. >"uuggggghhhhh"
  278. >The waitress giggled with her hand over her mouth
  279. >God have mercy on my dick
  280. >"Well then, is there anything else I can get you two?"
  281. "Nah, I think we're about done. Can I get the bill?"
  282. >"I'll get that right to you"
  283. >You fish out your newly acquired $20 bill and your wallet
  284. >When you get the bill, it's $21.57
  285. "Alright Sweetie, what 20% of 21?"
  286. >"Why?"
  287. "Cause I need to give a tip to the nice waitress."
  288. >Sweetie Belle sits up from her seat and put her arms down to support her as she leans over to you
  289. >"What's a tip?"
  290. "Well, it's something extra you give to people who give you food at restaurants for being nice. Doesn't your sister do that?"
  291. >"Oh, well Rarity just usually leaves a couple coupons for her dresses whenever we go to places"
  292. >Generous. My. Ass.
  293. >You remember her big boasts about being VERY giving for people around her
  294. >Fuck, she never told you her last name was Goldstein
  295. >You sigh
  296. "Well, then your sister is a bad tipper then."
  297. >"Is that bad?"
  298. >How do you wanna lay it on her?
  299. >Well, honesty is the best policy
  300. "Yeah, it's pretty bad."
  301. >"Oh, so you have to tip, when you go places?"
  302. "Yup. So get to the mathing kiddo."
  303. >"4.2"
  304. >She said with no hesitation
  305. >Shit mark yourself impressed
  306. >You used to be the math wiz of the family, and you still would've slow on the draw for an easy question like that
  307. >You fish out some bills from your wallet and that quick 20 from earlier
  309. >Be Anon
  310. >Time warp to your apartment
  311. >After paying the check and leaving the tip LIKE ALL DECENT HUMANS SHOULD
  312. >You unlock the door to your apartment and drag yourself over to the beige couch/bed in the living room
  313. >You collapse onto the furniture and produce a will you save underneath the cushions and hold it in your arms on your chest
  314. >You keep an eye open to see Sweetie Belle following suit with same miserable feeling hitting her hard too
  315. >Being near bursting full, then walking two miles home is not the best experience to be had
  316. >She swings the door close behind her and walks over to your couch and lies on you
  317. >Your glad people don’t actually just pop random boners at crucial and cute moments like these in real life contrary to your Chinese porn comics
  318. >”Anon, kill me” she moans her head falling on your chest
  319. >Despite the near near throwing up feeling you have, you can still smile, since she’s around
  320. “Then who’ll kill me?”
  321. >”Uggghhh, Anon, you’re so selfish…”
  322. “And who’s letting you crash here while the heat on you dies down”
  323. >She sighs, “Youuuuu”
  324. “That’s right”
  325. >You watch the gentle rise and descent of the fallen little angel resting on your chest sync to your breathing
  326. >In the silence you can actually hear her breathing too
  327. >The orange glow of sun is slowly fading away from your apartment
  328. >You lean your head back and rest your eyes a bit
  329. >Sweetie is close to falling asleep
  330. >Hmmm, despite the fatigue, you still thinking sleeping with a little girl, who’s not related to you at all in your arms is not a good idea
  331. >You slowly slip from under Sweetie Belle and get off the couch
  332. >First thing’s first
  333. >You stretch a bit to wake you up a bit, before you had stifle a yawn and scratch your back
  334. >tip toeing over to the door, you ninja your way out of your apartment and emerge into the hallway of the complex’s third story
  335. >You walk over to the next door on the left and give a few knocks
  337. >You waited and started stretch more, when the door opened
  338. >Rarity stood at the doorway standing a little taller then you in a fitting, white collar shirt and a black, business skirt
  339. >Those worked so well with her curves
  340. >Her hair is in a messy bun, but doesn’t look too casual
  341. >Her work glasses are halfway down her nose and the top three buttons of her shirt were undone, giving just the slightest hint of her frilly purple bra
  342. >Her body just begged for sex
  343. >Despite your dislike for this woman, you can’t help but take a peek at her body
  344. >9/10 sex with the boss material
  345. >She gave you a polite smile, “Oh why hello Anonymous.”
  346. >You cut your stretch short and revert to your original form
  347. “Hey, Rarity, how’s it going?”
  348. >”Oh well, it was going pretty well, until I had a little setback, but such is the work of art”
  349. “Yeah, I hear ya. So anyways, apparently I owed Sweetie Belle a sleepover, because of some bad bet I made a long time ago, and she wants to cash it in now.”
  350. >At the mention of Sweetie Belle her smile becomes thin
  351. >”Oh really, Darling. So she’s staying with you right now?”
  352. >Gotta play my cards right or else everything’s ruined
  353. “Nah, she just gave me call earlier and is going to crash at my place after she’s done playing with some friends”
  354. >”Oh, well I need to see her soon so we can have a little talk together, so if you could please-“
  355. “Best I can do is direct her over to you tomorrow. She’s got school hella early in the morning, and I don’t want to wake you up, if she gets home at 11:00”
  356. >”11:00, that seems way too late and way past curfew.”
  357. >You just shrug, and act defenseless
  358. >You've been too good at handling situations like these, and it’s all going your way
  359. “Well I don't know what to tell you for sure. She said she was ‘crusading’ with some friends, and I know her well enough to where I don't know what that means.”
  361. >Rarity deflates and sighs, before pinching the bridge of her nose
  362. >She looks up after a second and gives you a grateful smile
  363. >”Well thank you for telling me now, so I don’t have to worry. You really are a sweet man”
  364. >Automatic modesty response #1
  365. >Shrug it off “I try my best.”
  366. >Her eyes dip down at your body
  367. >”Well, it seems as though your best is more than enough.”
  368. >She’s biting her lip
  369. >Her smile has gone predator
  370. >Your heads sending alarms throughout your senses
  371. >”If it’s going to take sweetie belle some time to come home, maybe you could stay for some tea?”
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