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- >You are Ted Turner, media mogul
- >CNN is covering the disaster in Cleveland, and you're along for the ride
- >Millions of fluffies shitting all over the place
- >An explosion ripping the city apart
- >The nuclear plant on the brink of a meltdown
- >This sounds like a job for...
- "CAPTAIN PLANET!"
- >You rush into the nearest bathroom and take out your body paint and costume
- >You strip down to your underwear, put on your tights, and start applying the paint
- "Captain...Plaaaanet..."
- >The door opens and a man walks in
- >He looks at you, and immediately turns around and walks back out
- >You finish off by dying your hair green
- >You take a final look in the mirror and nod
- "Captain Planet!"
- >You zipline out the window and into the streets
- "CAPTAIN PLANET!"
- "WAH! MUNSTAH!"
- >Hundreds of threats to the environment swarm around you
- >You kick groups of them into the air
- "CAPTAIN PLANET!"
- >You shoot your zipline at a building and soar away
- >You notice a military checkpoint below you
- >Those trucks run on diesel fuel
- >That's bad for the environment!
- >You begin zipping down into the group of soldiers
- "Holy shit...is that Ted Tu-"
- >You kick him square in the jaw
- "CAPTAIN PLANET!"
- >Protecting the Earth is never easy, but you do it regardless
- >Because you're...
- "CAPTAIN...PLAAAAAAAANEEEEEET!"
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