Thread 31: Stories 31-45

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>29
"Counter Pony"
~~~~~~

>WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO!?

"Sir, there's no need to yell."

>Give unto me mine room key!

"I can't until you give me your name."

>29!

"I said your name."

>That is my name!

"Sir, that's not funny."

>TWENTY! NINE! That is the name granted unto me by mine majesty so high!

"Seriously?"

>Do you have a problem with this!?

"Yeah, seems weird."

>Well, what's your name?

"Paul."

>...

"...What?"

>...That is, without question, the weirdest name that has ever been graced unto my ears. Like the sound of rumbling stones mixed with the most cackling of fear.

"...It's not that weird."

>I have heard words spoken in old tongue that are more akin to the fleeting thing called 'normalcy' in my life. I have seen the joyous world of the ponies, and the harsher world of my kin, and from the perspective of either side are you the most confusing of creatures.

"...OH! Wait, is your name APPLEJACK 29?"

>...Oh chew on a shard of broken love, Marey. Yes, that's me, the twenty ninth Applejack, because clearly that is the important part.

"Well, why didn't you say so? Here's your key."

>Accursed little... like the fires of... rassafrassa..

"...My name is not weird!"

>Keep telling yourself that!

"...It's NOT."
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>Dash
"Spitfire"
'Soarin'
[Bulk]
{Fleetfoot}
~~~~~

>Alright, at attention! I'm here to check in and see if you all have had a good time!

"I'm off duty, piss off."

>Hey! I am your commanding officer, on duty or no!

"No, you're my commanding officer on duty. Off duty, you're the annoying mare who is in my room."

>Wow, you are just asking for more humiliating stuff to do, aren't you?

"Oh, wow! It's almost like that happens all the time anyway! WHOA! Nothing's changed!"

>...Well, she seems more bitter than normal. What's up?

'She uh... she lost.'

>Lost... what?

'That training course thing.'

>Hah! Wow, you managed to beat her?

'Uh...'

[YEAAAAHHHHHHH!]

>....noooooo...

"YOU FIND THE DIRTIEST, BUGGIEST CARPET AND YOU JUST CHOW DOWN!"

>How did he manage that?

{That bouncing part popped up and he just powered through it. Didn't even need to dodge. Targets and balls started flying and he was just like "WHATEVAH!"}

[NU-UH! Rainbow Dash, I didn't say that, I said that thing I normally say!]

>Yeah?

[YEEEEAHHHHH!]

>You don't say.

[Yes I did!]

>Awww, come on Spitty, it's not that bad!

"EAT A DICK!"

{So thaaaat's why she calls you Spitty.}

"FUCK YOU!"

>Well, glad to see someone had fun. Even if it wasn't you know, you.

"I WAS CAPTAIN OF THE WONDERBOLTS!"

>Yeah, times are tough. But don't worry, let's just say when we get back, things are looking... up... mwhah...mwahahah... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAAA!

"'{...}'"

[YEAHHHHH!]
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>SS
"DT"
~~~~

>This is just... SO illegal.

"It is not, shut up."

>So... so very illegal.

"This is not illegal!"

>How. How can this not be illegal?

"Because we're in Equestrian AIR space, not ground space! Any and all laws pertaining to the creation of high explosives and propulsion weaponry in a bathroom using only materials found lying around and not designed for the express purpose have no addendum or any other such attachments to state they are illegal to make in the air. Having no past precedence, and with the bill cycle having passed only weeks ago, anything I am making on this bathroom floor, no matter how potentially lethal, is one hundred percent legal."

>...What if they make a law?

"Grandfather clause. I'll have to find another loophole if they close this one, but for now? We are above the required elevation and in something classified as an 'airship', so they couldn't prosecute me if they tried!"

>This just... feels like it should be illegal, you know?

"Oh, Pshaw-"

*BOOOM!*

"-it's not that bad."

>...Your mane is on fire.

"And that's why I'm in the bathroom! See, you wonder about everything, and yet I'm always thinking ahead."

>What is this for, anyway? Why make a new launcher? Are you trying to replace your other-

"NOTHING WILL EVER REPLACE TBDRLIATU! NOOOOTTTHIIIIINNNNNG!"

>...

"...But it's funny you should mention him!"

>It. Mention it.

"Because this is all for a very... very specific purpose."

>...DT, no...

"I'M COMING FOR YOU, SEXY!"

>...

"...Forget that last part."

>I'm really, really trying to.
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>Suckerpunch
"41"
'DT'
-SS-

>Okay, we found the hotel, we just need to find Spike to give our report and...

"And what?"

>Huh, I'll be damned. That moron High Roller gave us a three day pass. We've got two more days to dick around this place.

"Awesome!"

>Now, let's see if we can-whoa!

'Gah!'

FWUMP!

-DT!-

>Ow...

'Watch where you're going, idiot!'

>Watch where you're laying your rocket launcher, kid!

"Hey wait, you two are in the Gun Club!"

'Noooo, you just now noticed that?'

Punch scrambles up from where he tripped over TBDRLIATU.

>Oh thank Faust! We need to know where Spike is!

"It's really important!"

'Oh please, what could be soooo important that a nobody guard and a bug monster would have to-...uhhh...'

>Just noticing the hoof, huh?

-Whoa...-

'The HELL happened to you!?'

>FAWNTAINE HAPPENED! Those dickbags gave me super powers!

'...AWESOME!'

>Not awesome! Dangerous!

"It is a liiiittle awesome."

>DANGEROUS AWESOME!

'I knew I liked those guys! Ok, look, I have no clue exactly where that idiot is, but he's probably looking for his two Princesses. So find them, you might find him.'

>Ugh, this is turning into a giant game of where's Wando.

'Can't help you more than that, Sparky. And hey, if you see the other members of the gun...club...ugh! Can anyone here stick around for a whole conversation!? Rude! All of you!'

-...you think that lightning comes in different colors?-

'Oh that'd just make it even cooler!'
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>Twilight
"Pinkie"
'Fluttershy'
-Dash-
~~~~~

>Wow, I'm surprised how nice this is.

"What is that supposed to mean!?"

>That I'm surprised how nice this is.

"Oh! Okay, just double checking."

'Um, is why are there three nozzels in the shower?'

"One of them is sugar water!"

-Pinkie, wow. That is just... so unhealthy.-

"Naaawww, It's artificial, no diabetes!"

>How?

"It's just fake sweetener made via sweet smelling chemicals added to the water! You should know...You designed it."

>PINKIE! Stop going through my lab!

"I can't help it! I was scrambling when you were burning all of your stuff!"

>...Fine.

'By the way, Twilight? What's that book you brought with you?'

>Hm? Oh, uh, Chrysalis translated a couple more pages for me, and I wantd to brush up.

-Pages? Pages of what?-

>Chitania's Diary.

"..."

'...'

*POUNCE!*

-"'SPILL!"'-

"Chitania!? Chitania Chitania!? Mcstompenstuff!? She has a DIARY!?"

>Well, I guess journal would be more accurate-

"LEMME SEE LEMME SEE!"

>Pinkie, it's just a few pages. I left the book back home.

"AWWWW! But why!?"

'I want to read it too. I missed out on all of the excitement.'

>It wasn't all that exciting...

-Awww, don't beat yourself up Twi! We'll catch her, and then BOOM! Right to the head!-

>...

'I still wish you would stop that.'

-Hey, not like I'm in the minority here. You seen the latest polls?-

"Yeah, lots of them are like "We gotta make her kablewy!"

-Seriously, between Discord and now her, I think you have a problem.-

"We need to sign you up for the 'I can't stop helping unstoppable creatures' support group."

-My name's Fluttershy, and I want to hug an eight story changeling who's only desire is SMASH!-

>A-actually...

"...Actually what?"

>...Well...

Slowly, she opened her book.

>..."I managed to make it across the desert today. Everyone said I wasn't going to be able to do it, but I did. Showed you, Mother! You thought almost breaking my hind leg would make it too hard? HAH! You don't know what hard is! You didn't even shatter the femur all the way!... Anyway, when I got to the other side, I managed to get there just in time to find Titania. Just like that drone had said, there she was, fighting what looked like a six headed hyena. And getting her tail fed to her one strand at a time. My Titan form is still quite unstable, but that just made it more fun and challenging. Trying to keep myself at full size while keeping the beast from finishing off the downed idiot was quite fun. I don't care what they said, I was having fun... after I managed to break it's necks, that bitch didn't even thank me. She just said I was pathetic for thinking she needed my help, and took a swing at my head. I broke her nose for the insult, and sent her running back to her mother... does this idiot even realize what she did? Of course not, she doesn't care she almost wiped out a hive. Just like all the others, she's too blind to see the truth. Those morons are dying... unlike me. I'm not going to die. I'm going to stand tall above them all. I'm going to be the most powerful Changeling who ever walked the earth! And then maybe they'll understand, if I beat it into them..."

"...Wow."

-Uh... jeez.-

'...Is there more?'

>Fluttershy... you have no idea.

She opened her notebook once again, and started reading another page.

>..."I said that I can't punch lava to my mother today. I told her, the fist is willing, but the physics just aren't there. She insisted, so now I'm writing this with my tongue. I'm starting to think I should just run when she starts laughing..."
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NON CANON

>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~

>So, why did ya'll let a filly inta' a dangerous club filled with a bunch'a others all trained in deadly weaponry?

"...They need to know how to stop her..."

>Celly?

"...they need to KNOW..."
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NON CANON
>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Uh, Celly? This 'backup plan' is pretty light, it's just one piece o' paper... scratch that, it's just five words. "Burn it to the ground."

"IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE!"
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>Poindexter
"Mane-Iac"
~~~~

>Slow down, would you?

"AHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! BUT POOOOIINDEXTER! WE MUST RAAAACE TO THE LAND OF- I mean, we have to get to the hotel! I don't want Crissy to get worried!"

>She knows you can handle yourself.

"INDEEEEEEED! I AM MOST CAPABLE IN THE FIELD OF BAAATTLE!... But she says I'm not very good with the non-battle stuff yet, so I have to get a handle on that before I can go out more."

>Really?... Ever think of, you know, moving out? Getting your own place?

"What do you mean? I have my own place! It's a nice room with my hammock and little straps for my hair and everything!"

>I meant, you know, your own place out in the world.

"...But... but then I wouldn't be home anymore. Why would I do that? I don't want to leave, and Crissy promised they wouldn't make me."

>No no! Nothing like that, stop with the sad eyes, really! It's just that for most ponies, when you get old enough, you're supposed to... you know, get a job, make your claim in the world, stuff like that... admittedly, some ponies move out later than others... after their mothers have to kick them out of the house because they won't leave the basement.

"Oh... I have a job!"

>Really?

"YEEEEEESSSSSAHAHAHAHAHAH! I ATTTAAAAACK LUMINOUS SHIELD'S FORCES! FORCING THEM INTO BAAAATTLE READY STATES ALLLLLLLL THE TIMEAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!"

>Well... nice to find a job you love.

"AND LOVE IT I DOOOOOOOO!"

>Well... yeah, great. Glad you're happy.

"...You don't think they would make me move out, do you?"

>Aw man, don't tell me I put doubt or something in you.

"It's just, we're really good friends, but if she gets in a fight with Luminous Shield and betrays him while SEEEEKING ULTIMATE POOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWEEEERRR!... do you think they'd make me move out too?"

>Who, Shiny? Never. Guy's pure nice in a happy ball of kind and pony.

"I suppose..."

>Not suppose, truth. Take it from his one remaining friend who's been there since forever, he's not going to do something to hurt you, Maney.

"...If he does, can I move in with you?"

>HRK... uh... y-you sure you want to move in with a guy like me?

"Why not? You're fun!"

>Uh... s-sure, Maney, you can move in if you get kicked out... Not that you ever will! I promise!

"AHAHAHAH! INDEEED! But a good Supervillain ALLLLLLWAYS has a plan BEEEEEE!"

>...Nice to know.

"AHAHAHAHAH! COME! TO THE LAAAANND OF RELAXAAAAAATION! WHEREIN WE SHALL PARTAKE IN MAAAANY A TINY LITTLE FOOD ON A TOOTHPICK!"

>Sounds like a plan, Maney. And, uh, if it's not too much trouble, can we... not mention this whole conversation to Chrysalis? I feel like my head in under a blade enough as it is, thank you.

"Sure."

>...That's it?

"Yep."

>...

"...AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHHAHAAAAAAAAH!"

>One of a kind, you Mane-Iac.

"AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
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>Cheerilee
"77"
'Counter Pony'
~~~

'Ma'm, no.'

>What's the problem?

'You absolutely cannot bring your pets with you.'

>Don't be silly, they aren't pets! They forlorn things from beyond the fourteenth realm of heat and fire. They used to be sane, once upon a time!

"Please just... just stop arguing with her, please? I get it, they're freaky, even I'm not going to deny that, but..."

'But?'

>He knows better than to argue with me! Isn't that right, honey waffles?

"Just let her do it."

>If you want, just file them under 'necessary because of my occupation.'

'What kind of occupation requires... that?'

>I'm a school teacher! Oh, and yes I love my job. Nurturing the young, nubile minds, and growing them to fantastic heights.

'... and... they... help?'

>Oh lord no, they just won't leave. I've tried. Tried bombing the school twice, actually! Didn't take. Just had to show up the next day. Coffee machine didn't even miss it's schedule.

'...'

"Just... just don't argue with her."

'You know what? Enjoy your stay, but put a muzzle on them.'

>Oh ho! Don't worry, the sight of flesh reviles them, to attempt to put it into their mouths would cause them to become suicidal and make them kill themselves with their own tongues.

'...Have a nice stay.'

>Thanks! Come on, babybiscuit!

'...How.'

"We uh... we have a lot in common."

'...'

"...Yeah..."
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Completely non-canon
>Diamond tiara
"Spike"
~~~
>What's got you so quiet, Spike? Deep in thought, perhaps? Thinking of you and I together at last?

"Yes."

>Well, I- wait, what?

"I am thinking you will need armor."

>Armor?

"And something to bite down on. How strong are pony teeth?"

>How strong are my- What kind of question is that?

"Dragon teeth are capable of easily slicing through leather, wood, stone, gems, and all but the toughest metals, and even those can be torn through with time."

>Uhhh...

"Also, I might try to nuzzle."

>NUZZLE?!

"If that should happen, you will need an iron pry bar to get me off. Be sure to heat it in a fire first or else it might not get my attention."

>On second thought... Let's just remain as we are.

"Are you sure? We could sate your curiosity."

>Certainly.

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>Trixie
"MM"
'???'
~~~~

>TRIXIE LOVES THIS BED!

"Okay, either let me on it too, or cut the third person speak. I can't deal with both."

>DO NOT TELL TRIXIE WHAT TO DO!

"No need to shout."

>Thou hast not heard a shout so bold, I assure you!

"Wow, you are just trying to make sexy talk not sexy for me, aren't you? Well, too bad. Sexy talk is awesome when it comes from someone else. You just suck at it."

>TRIXIE IS A SHOWMAN WHO HAS BEEN-

*KNOCK KNOCK!*

>...Well, get the door!

"You get it."

>DO NOT TELL TRIXIE WHAT TO DO!

"Don't get the door."

>HAH! I'll show you!

"...Dumbass."

*SLAM!*

>WHAT DO YOU... Mayor Mare? What appears to be one of your bastard spawn is here.

'WHAT!?'

"That doesn't work when I'm a mare. I think I would remember giving birth."

'And daddy would never sleep with someone like you!'

>Trixie doubts that.

'You don't sleep with political rivals! That's just dumb, then they have blackmail!'

>Trixie is now more understanding.

"...Oh, shoot. Hi, little Diamond Tiara!"

'Don't you 'hi' me, my daddy is going to overthrow you one of these days.'

"At this point, I'm considering welcoming it."

'But enough about your inevitable defeat! I require one of your bulbs!'

"...Like, from the lamp?"

'Yes!'

>Why not just call for room service?

'Because it would look suspicious if I ordered another one, but I need the filament.'

>...Why?

'NO REASON!'

>...Oh, sure, no reason. I certainly hope nothing. Because from the smell of you, that nothing had better not include powder rated for a Class 1.4G firework, as a filament from these bulbs not only would cause it to misfire, but also burn stupid fillies who don't know what they're doing.

'PFFT! Only if you use a design for a freaking standard issue rocket fuse, if you re-route the fuse in a spiral shape, it'll allow the pressure point to cause the rocket to spin just right, allowing it to be fifty times more accurate than your standard issue commoner fair!'

>But that only works if you have the right plaster!

'Oh yes, if only I had means to get my hooves on something malleable and flame resistant, like paraffin wax! But oh, however would I manage to distill paraffin wax without any gum to use.... OH! WAIT! The stuff is friggen everywhere around here!'

>You fool, paraffin wax isn't nearly hard enough to withstand the pressure!

'It'll hold!'

>Sure it will, and Trixie is about to devote her life to charity and sickly orphans!

'Who's Trixie?'

>Point is, it'll collapse before it even gets started!

'Fine! Then I'll just use a stabilizing agent like some common cornstarch and water, and make the outer layer a shear-thickening fluid!

>...Ehhh... yeah, okay, that might hold. Here, try not to break the filiment when you remove it, or it'll misfire when applied incorrectly and reduce your accuracy by at least eight percent.

'As if I would... and I guess I should say thank you...'

>...

'...'

*SLAM*

"...And you thought that was MY bastard spawn?"

>Trixie likes her.

"Least shocking part of this night, I want you to know."
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>SA
"Cadence"
'2'
~~~

>Because of course this place has this.

"Of course, why wouldn't it?"

>No no, I agree, it makes perfect sense.

"Crazy perfect."

>It would have been sillier without it.

"Absolutely."

>...This is so bad.

"SO bad."

'Are ya' gonna keep bein' silly or are ya' gonna roll!?'

>Sorry, Two... it's just...

"Candyland."

>Partyland has Candyland included with the room.

"...And I can't help but laugh. Takes me back, really."

>Me too, though I hope your horizontal jump has improved.

"You were playing Monopony then!"

>Right? The one time that didn't descend into chaos.

"Heh... just shows you it was meant to be, huh?"

'JUST ROLL ALREADY!'

>...Completely meant to be...
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Non-canon.

>Chrysalis
“Shiny”
______

With a bounce and a hop, each step exuding a sense of alluring victory, Chrysalis continued down the hall.

And promptly stopped when she spotted that alabaster stallion emerging from one of the rooms. His head looked the opposite way at first, and then her heart leapt uncontrollably when he turned and spotted her, evidence of this being how his face transformed into a confused smile.

>…

“Chrysalis... Chryssi… Bug-meister Chrys, how’ve you been doing?”

He was… talking and walking. Walking right towards her and she’d be damned if there wasn’t something in his eyes that rooted her to the spot, the sudden rush of endearing nicknames notwithstanding.

>I… I’ve been having a blast, yeah… um, well, you oughta know, you were there with me for most of it, ha. Pinkie’s parents, whooo... a pair of cards, aren’t they? Real, um, real good ponies, yeah….

What in the world was this feeling she was unconsciously drawing from the king of the empire…? It was warm, and comfortable… and exciting, like the feral stroke of a wanton hoof up and down the curve of her back…

He was closer now, looking oddly pensive for only an instant before sporting a grin that caused a blush to rise in her cheeks. Damn it, he was making her feel like a lovestruck schoolfilly without even doing any-

“You know I enjoyed your company today, right? Despite trying to drown myself, and nearly succeeding, standing next to you… it felt good.”

>Nnf…

Whoa, whoa, whoa… what was that meek little noise she just let loose, and why was Shining suddenly so close? Her ears fell back when he inched closer, using his muzzle to move a stray strand of teal hair to just behind her ear, the ear he let loose a puff of warm breath into.

“Shouldn’t let your mane hang in your face, Chryssi, you’re too beautiful for that.”

>Hnnng… wh-what’re you doing, Shiny?

It was almost rasped it and she tried to narrow her eyes, go for that scolding look, but now her heart was racing, her face was flushed, and… and Faust damn that burning down below….She came off looking desperate for more.

“Me? I’m not doing anything, just complimenting a beautiful Queen when I see one.”

>F-fuhaaah…

Plip. Plip. Plip.

Her nose was leaking blood and she was wavering on the spot but she refused on her wobbling legs to fall and firmed her shoulders, wings rustling, tail whipping indignantly.

>N-now listen here, you… you big hunk of a stallion you, I… I… you stop this!

“Stop wha- oh goodness. You seem to have sprung a leak there, Chryssi.”

While that was wholly true, try as she might to staunch it with a hoof, it didn’t stop Shiny when he leaned forward-

“Here, let me….”

-and pressed his lips to the tip of her cold little nose.

>NNNNNGH- GUH!

A rapturous tremble shook the panting queen and her mouth fell open, that lengthy pink muscle lolling out and dripping beads of saliva onto the carpet. In response to the pleasure flowing like lava through her veins, she began to sink, that strength from before all but vanished and she hit the floor top-down, bottom-up.

>Mmmng, q-quit… Sh-Shiny, quit it….

But he was smirking, with a touch of smugness at that… and it only served to caused the queen to groan when she met his eyes.

He bent down, lowering his head.

And then he whispered into one of her submissively flattened ears.

The orgasmic scream that burst from Chrysalis’s throat was no doubt heard up and down the hall and Shining watched with some amusement as she twitched upon the floor with her eyes half-lidded and backlegs spasming, riding out those waves.

“Well… guess my job’s done, I think. See you tomorrow, Chryssi. Sleep well.”

It sounded like Shining wanted to laugh, and he did let slip a chuckle as he turned around and started back down the hall.

A quivering hoof was lifted. Chrysalis tried calling out to his retreating form but the first few times only issued squeaks.

>Y-you… c-come back here and f-finish this….

~~~~~~

As Shining made back towards his and his wife’s room, he was still confused as to why Gwen had called and demanded he do such a thing. She wouldn’t explain why but through all the high-pitched squawks she promised to lessen her grip over the trade routes to her land, and that was an opportunity that made doing… whatever the hell he’d done to Chrysalis worth it.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>18
"Temp pony1"
'TP2'
[Guard]
~~~

>Ooooohhhh... bubble bath with your lovey scent of bubble gum, I want you to know, I appreciate you. Mmmm... so nice to be appreciated, isn't it? Oh yeah, I'm glad Shiny got some temps to cover for me... hm, I wonder if they're doing alright...

∞∞∞

"OH DEAR CRYSTAL HEART IT'S ALLIIIIIVVVEEE!"

'Sparkee? SPARKEE!? I think the paperwork ate Sparkee!'

"HE'S DEAD NOW! LEAVE HIM!"

*MUM MUMUM!*

"YOU ARE NOT SHUT UP!"

'It's coming out of the walls! IT'S COMING OUT OF THE BUCKING WAALLLLLLSSS!'

"How does anyone put up with this!? How has the kingdom not been consumed!? WHAT IS THIS STUFF EVEN ABOUT!? Is one mare actually handling everything from school renovations to CART LICENSES!?"

'The Prince apparently handles the other half!'

"O-oh sweet love in the sky... that's why his office went quiet..."

'...M-my sisters in there.'

"She's gone now... she's gone..."

'Sissy...'

[Today's delivery is here!]

"TODAY!? THEN WHAT THE LOVEBOMB WERE WE DOING BEFORE!?"

[Oh, sorry, today's AFTERNOON delivery is here. You guys were just dealing with morning stuff.]

'...I'm going to let it consume me.'

"SHINE NO! I NEED YOU! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THIS!"

'I can't do it, Glam! I CAN'T DO IT!'

"We can! Surely we can! You listen to me right now, Sunlight Shine, Princess Cadence manages to do this every day. EVERY. MOTHER-I-LOVE-YOU. DAY. Every morning she wakes up and does this, and she's ONE mare! We are three ponies! I mean, sure, she's a destined leader of our Empire with godlike powers, but surely we can handle a weekend!"

'...You're right... YOU'RE RIGHT! We are the best and brightest, top three of our class! Surely we, of all of them, can match ONE mare!'

"Surely!"

'To war, Glam!'

"TO WAARRRRR!"

'...We're not even getting half of this done, are we?'

"Honestly, we should count it as a win if we get over five percent."

'A win for the ages.'

∞∞∞

>...They're probably fine. Come, bubbles! I wish a beard upon my face!
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>Cheese
“Spike”
‘SS’
________

>Okay, got the fruit roll-up carpets…? Check. Chocolate almond doorknobs…? Check-a-roo! And, uh, hm… diamond candy utensils? Since when did we have those...? Ah well, who cares! It’s awesome! Check!

“Did I hear someone say diamond candy?”

>Dragon ho! What’s up, Spike, little filly? Didn’t think I’d see you guys on this half of the resort!

“That’s probably because you shouldn’t have.”

>Huh?

‘He means we’re lost. We took a wrong turn and- I swear on my glasses- the hallway flipped upside down and the ceiling opened. We fell in and now we’re… here, I guess.’

>Ahhh….

“The fact that that doesn’t even make you bat an eye only increases my worry.”

>That was one of Pinkie’s little gravity experiment things right there, yup. All the flipping and turning, I told her it wouldn’t work but you know Pinkie. Always “gogogo"! Me, I prefer turning stuff into food! Like, check out this diamond for-

*crunch*

>Wow. You almost caught my hoof in that black hole you call a mouth.

‘Good reflexes, Mr. Cheese.’

“I’ll say.”

>Thanks, but while I’ve got you, Spike… Pinkie tells me that you’re dabbling in the art of Jeet Kune Doe? That right?

“If by dabbling you mean getting my fangs kicked out, then sure, I’m dabbling my scales off.”

‘Pffft…’

While SS giggle behind a hoof, Cheese only set down his clipboard, fixing Spike with a wide-eyed, vehement glare that the dragon matched wordlessly.

The both of them fell silent, unmoving, unblinking… just staring.

After a few minutes of this and turning between the two, SS had only opened her mouth to inquire just what they were doing when a drop of crimson escaped Spike’s left nostril.

‘Spike!’

But the dragon only blinked, sucking his teeth in annoyance.

“Shoot. You got lucky.”

Across from him, Cheese was smirking and shaking his head clear.

>Not bad, not bad, Spike. Just watch your left side next time. …If you want there to be a next time?

“Of course, I always give as good as I get.”

>Hahaha, that’s the spirit! I can see why Pinks is so taken to train you. Keep up the good work and I’ll catch you two later alright? Gotta make the rounds before I can get some shut-eye. Party Land’s grand opening was more grand than we thought it’d be, ha.

With a speed-wave, he was off, leaving a very confused SS and a very interested Spike in his wake.

‘…We’re still lost though. We should probably go ask him where- WHOA!’

“HOLY SH-”

One step taken by the filly had dropped the floor out from underneath them and into the darkness they tumbled.

‘I HATE THIS PLAAAAAAACE!’

“GETTING…. NAUSEOUS!”

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