Pillars of Equestria

Aug 23rd, 2019
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  1. "Alright, lets just come out with it... the rest of the world is weird, isn't it?"
  2. >Around the round table sat six of the most influential figures in all of history. Grand souls who had spelled salvation for most as they wielded artifacts of legend, and even without them they stood head above most of the highest in the land. Six of the wisest ponies ever to be spoken of in reverence, gathered together once more.
  3. >Just not the six you're thinking of.
  4. >"Yes, Starswirl, this place is a little weird."
  5. >The other six, plus Stygian.
  6. >"I.. love... the... FUTURE."
  7. >Some were happier than others.
  8. >"Love it!? How can you say that, rocky? Haven't you seen what's been going on out there? Its like the entirety of tradition and modesty has just...poofed!"
  9. >"I know, its amazing."
  10. >Medowbrook may have looked offended, but Rockhoof's smile would not be deterred.
  11. >"Every other minute I've got a mare coming up to me and asking to get rocked! That's what I call it now, you get rocked. Say, you wanna get rocked?"
  12. >"NO!"
  13. >"Once upon a time that would make me sad, but now I know I can just walk outside and get my rock polished and the world is just... just great."
  14. "I was actually hoping to discuss if this is natural, or this may be an eros spell of some sort."
  15. >"Oh piddleposh you old coot, we all know who's fault this is, and its not because she used magic."
  16. >Starswirl did his very best not to snap at Mistmane's candid reply, he knew better.
  17. >She would hurt him.
  18. >"And thats why I've got to thank her at some point. You know how much cock I used to ride back in the day? Ponies used to look at me and cry about calling their grandmother, now i just ask for it and they turn me into one of those... I don't know what you call it, where the spakly stuff in water is in a plastic little toy, and it rolls when you-"
  19. >"We get the picture."
  20. >"I don't think you do, none of you have an erection."
  21. >"We could work on that!"
  22. "Somnambula! Control yourself."
  24. >"Why? I don't do it outside anymore. My hometown has a train running through it, and I don't mean the metal thing! I've been dicked so much I didn't need a blindfold last week, it was all so solid I wasn't seeing anything!"
  25. >"UGH!"
  26. >"Sorry Meadowbrook, I'm not putting anything back in the box unless its back in my box. I can fit a lot in there, I found."
  27. >"Flash, back me up here!"
  28. >"I agree with our fellow Pillar, this place has no respect for tradition!"
  29. >"Thank you!"
  30. >"It took me three hours to convince the guard to allow me to be rutted to prove my worth! I've only been mounted by half the higher guard at this point, half! At this rate it'll take me until the end of the year before I make it to the rookies! Really, the fellows wife is the princess of love, it should not have taken so long for him to mount me!"
  31. >"That... that is not what I mean."
  32. >"Then you know very little of my traditions."
  33. "Starting to see where the infection began."
  34. >"They've done a remarkable job of eliminating pretty much any infections. Potion for pretty much anything except for a blasted tailhole."
  35. >"Sorry, Stygian."
  36. >"No no, Rockhoof... no need to be sorry at all."
  37. "Rockhoof!"
  38. >"I've been unleashed, Starswirl! My shovel was only holding back my plowing, I understand it now!"
  39. "We're really not going to go back to normal, are we?"
  40. >"Thank goodness!"
  41. >"Not if I have anything to say about it."
  42. >"I'm good, thank you."
  43. >"My weapon of magic... it hungers for more!"
  44. >"This is normal for me."
  45. >"No, Starry... it doesn't look like it."
  46. "...Whelp."
  47. >Starswirl shrugged, and got up.
  48. "If that's how its going to be, I'm going to go get my dick sucked from that thirsty purple one. She has been begging for me for days."
  49. >"Noooooo!"
  50. >Meadowbrook wailed in despair, knowing all was lost.
  51. >"Faustspeed to you, good stallion, Faustspeed...so! Who wants to be my cocksleeve for the next ten minutes?"
  52. >"Rockhoof, put that away."
  53. >"NEVER!"
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