The Joker and HaNon

>Be Anon, or rather Ha-Non
>You're wearing a ridiculous costume stuck following a real Joker
>You thought it would just be some innocent fun, pulling some large scale pranks on a bunch of people, maybe occasionally filling a bank with laughing gas and taking some free money.
>You were wrong, so so wrong
>There are dead innocent people, and their deaths were far from quick or peaceful.
>And now you're watching the Joker fight the BatMare on a roof of a storage warehouse in the city.
>And you yourself are stuck with a giant wooden plank in hand, stuck watching it unfold.
>Despite Joker's viciousness, BatMare is winning, with her fighting skill, experience, and her gadgets.
>You want to just run, far away from this city, but you know Joker will find you again and she won't be so merciful the second time.
>Oh god, they're coming this way. Do you Smash the Bat upside the head or stay out?
>As you see BatMare trying to choke out Joker, you see her look you in the eye.
>"If you'd be so nice sweety."
>Without a moments hesitation, you bring the wooden stick down on BatMare, only for the stick to shatter on impact.
>With a quick headbutt, BatMare stands up from the K.O.ed Joker, and turn to you.
>Panicking, you can't move as BatMare gives you a silent death stare. You can't even see her eyes but you can feel the intimidation behind the mask.
>As she takes a step forward, you instinctively take a step back.
>"Give it up, you're both going back to Prison"
>The fear is too much, and your already panicked mind has too much to handle, when suddenly you hear Joker yell "JUMP!"
>You obey and jump off the edge right after BatMare turns around to knock out Joker again.
>You don't know why you did it, or why she told you to, but you find yourself very sore and on a cart of smashed fruit.
>You know what BatMare will do if she catches you, so you do the only thing you can.
>Run

>You pacing back and forth at Joker's headquarters, which is really more of a glorified abandon novelty hat store.
"I had to run, I... She told me to jump, I did what she said."
>You still couldn't shake the fear, both of BatMare finding you and of Joker being upset with you.
>At least BatMare just knocked you out, you didn't even want to think of what the Joker would do to you.
>But now that you're here, what now?
>You can't break Joker out by yourself, even if you wanted to.
>You sit down at the counter, when you feel a piece of paper near your hand.
>Quickly picking it up, you recognize it as her handwriting.
>"Dear Nonny, be a dear and grab some Nitrogen, you know how much I love the good stuff ;P. Love Joker."
>Shit, she knew this would happen. She did always have a plan. You hated to admit it, but you admired that about her.
>As you rummage around to find a new weapon, you think about how to sneak over the the chemical warehouse and try to get the Nitrogen and get out before BatMare gets you.
>Deciding on a crowbar, you grab the nearby bike and head to the warehouse.

>As you pull up, you can see the guard sitting outside, reading a magazine.
>With any luck, you can just sneak in and out without anyone knowing.
>You hide the bike inside a nearby bush, and quietly walk around the guard. Thankfully the gate is wide open, and security cameras haven't been invented yet.
>With this lucky break, you manage to walk inside, to see it mostly abandoned. It is nearly 1 am, so it makes sense that there's no one here.
>After some searching, you find a large canister labeled Nitrogen.
>It was heavier than you thought it would be, but you manage to pick it up, and now you had to go back out the door, while holding a 7 ft tube filled with explosive gas.
>You can still see the guard outside, his back to you reading.
"Alright, now how to do this...."

>You carefully put the tube so it's vertical, using your foot to try and just barely keep it off the ground as you walk forward with it.
>It was a bit harder than you thought it would be, as it takes all of your strength to not drop it.
>But slowly your making your way to the door, to the silent dirt where you can just drag it, when you suddenly hear a small "Tink" as it hits the ground.
>You stare bug eyed at the guard, expecting her to turn around, but thankfully she doesn't.
>Picking it back up, you're now at the way too small door.
>Of course it would be, god forbid something goes your way for once.
>Keeping an eye on the guard, you slowly maneuver the canister so the bottom tip touches the ground. Of course now what feels like a hundred pounds is trying to slip out of your grasp.
>With what little strength you have left, you push it outside, praying that you don't hit a rock.
>After a couple of agonizing minutes, you finally have it outside, now you can just drag it and the guard won't be any the wiser.
>Once you're back to the bush, you use the rope you brought to stab the canister to your back and shoulders, and peddle back to the base.

>Be guard pony
>Paid nearly the bare minimum, and stuck at the night shift, again.
>Your minding your own business, when suddenly you see the Joker's Lacky ride in, with a crowbar in hand.
>Fuckme.jpeg
>You decide to try and look like you never saw him, when he gets off his bike
>Fuckmeharder.jpeg
>You see him try to act stealthy, moving around you and to the building
>You're not paid enough to get a crowbar to the head, so you keep minding your own damn business.
>You hear him walk behind you and go inside, occasionally hearing him.
>"Come on, where the hell is it?"
>As time passes, you can hear him grunt as he picks up something heavy, and later hear him drop it.
>"Fuck"
>You keep reading as you see him slowly drag a giant canister.
>Finally he leaves, and as he does, you decide it's time to ask for a raise.

>Holy shit this sucks.
>You want nothing more than to just pass out, but you can't just yet.
>You can see the abandoned hat store just ahead, you just need to push yourself a little further.
>Struggling for breath, you pull into the shop, and finally you drop the canister on a pile of cloths.
>With your job finally done, you go behind the counter to pass out.

>After who knows how long, you wake up, still behind the counter
>You try to stand up with some difficulty, your entire body is sore after last night
>You pick yourself up, when you suddenly realize you never checked if the canister actually had any gas in it.
>You throw yourself over the counter and you see it.
>The needle was firmly on F.
>You breath a sign of relief, you were safe.
>"Surprise Nonny!"
>You suddenly jump in surprise, a little too much as you smash your head into the ceiling, leaving a hole in it.
>It's a low ceiling
>You turn around to see none other than Joker standing at the door, a hoofcuff still on her left hoof.
"H...Hey puddin, you got out fast."
>She walks toward you, swinging the loose cuff.
>"Oh you know BatMare, she was so distracted by me yelling and then you jumping that she never saw the punchline, hehehehehe".
>She holds up her right hoof, with some dried blood on it.
>"Now then, I see that you got what I asked, very good"
>She leans up close to you and pats you head again
>Despite you both smiling, you felt like something bad was going to happen.
>"I do have to ask though, and it might seem silly"
>You see her point to the counter, and you see various newspapers.
>Most of them say the same thing, "Showdown at 54th street, Joker manages to escape BatMare once again."
>"Why don't any of them say anything about a massive and violent heist at the chemical warehouse?"
>Oh god
"W...Well you see, I... I thought it would be best to sneak in an-"
>She cuts you off as she sweeps your legs from under you and has a leg to your throat.

>"The headlines are supposed to say, BatMare and Joker have an epic climax while warehouse goes up in flames!"
"I thought that BatMare cap- I mean was still going around, I didn't want to make you upset by not getting what you wanted, so I did my best to not be seen."
>She press a little harder while making a pondering pose.
>"Well, I guess I never told you to set it ablaze. I mean you should have already known, but I guess you do have a small point"
>As it becomes hard to breath, she finally lets you go.
>You collapse, clutching your throat.
>"Well, at least you got this"
>You see her... fondling the gas canister.
>"With this and the other cans, we'll have a gas, Hahahaha!""
>"But we gotta get the setup ready before we can give this city the joke they'll never forget!"
>She walks to the back carrying the Nitrogen, motioning you to follow.
>Knowing better, you struggle to your feet and obey, as you follow you see a massive elaborate setup for mixing chemicals, and you recognize what she's going to do
>Nitroglycerin, and a lot of it.
>"I can't wait for the Bat to see what I've got planned."
>If those 2 years of chemistry taught you anything, it's that this much nitroglycerin would easily wipe out a whole city street.
>"Know then, I have a very important task for you Nonny"
>She hands you a rolled up poster and a sealed letter
>"Put that poster up somewhere populated, then make a scene so BatMare shows up. When she does, make sure she gets that letter.
>She turn and stands up to look you in the eyes
>"And this time, make sure everyone knows what your doing, okay?"
"R-Right, I'll do good this time."
>She raises a hoof, and softly boops you on the noise.
>"That's a good boy, now run along, Aunt Joker is gonna be busy for a while, hehehehehe"
>As you walk back to the entrance and get your bike, your trying to think of a way to both make Joker happy and not kill anyone.
>You grab your crowbar and bat, when you sudden get the perfect idea, widespread vandalism.

>You approach your target, making sure you green mask is on securely as you raise your crowbar.
>SMASH
>You walk in the large hole you made in the glass door, crowbar in one hand and a lit Molotov cocktail in the other.
"Ladies and wimps, there's been a rescheduling. There will be a firework show in 30 seconds."
>You take a few steps away from the door and let the few ponies in the store run out.
>With them gone, you put out the cocktail and start getting things ready.
>Set fire to a fireworks store.
>After throwing some boxes around near the center, you relight the cocktail and throw it.
>As you quickly dash outside, it occurs to you that maybe you should have gone outside to do this.
>Either way, there's a massive show going on, and there's no doubt that everyone will see this.
>Now you rush to new fancy political billboard they put up yesterday.
>"Reelect your mayor so she can stamp out crime"
>Yeah, because she's doing such a great job of that already.
>You unfurl the poster and put it up over it
>It's a picture of Joker with a burning bank behind her.
>"Trust Joker to fight Big Government"
>How did she know you would put it over the political billboard?
>She never ceases to surprise and scare you
>Either way, you hear the screams of the locals running around as fireworks go everywhere
>It's only a matter of time before BatMare showed up
>You just hope that you'll keep your teeth when she does
>You walk over to the nearby park as ponies are still screaming
>With your crowbar, you casually break a newspaper box and grab something to read while you wait
>
>Who the hell approved of a budget cut to the firefighters?
>You look back up to see the mattress store catch on fire as firefighters show up
>Maybe they'll rethink that decision
>As you think that, you suddenly feel something rather hard and hoof shaped hit you in the jaw, sending you flying a few feet.
"Ouch"

>You get back up, clutching your jaw.
>You turn to see none other than BatMare
>She just stares at you, silent
>She doesn't have to say anything to scare the shit out of you.
>The letter!
>You quickly pull out the envelope with read smile stamp
"T-T-This is for you"
>You hold it out and hope she doesn't kick you in the face again.
>"You open it"
>Too afraid to argue, you do what she says.
>You hesitate to open, afraid of what she put inside.
>But you have to, like it or not
>As you do, a sudden burst of glitter comes out and covers your mask
>With that one aspect of terror over with, you take out the letter and hand it over
"Okay, I did what you said"
>She takes it, and you see her face change from stoic and emotionless to terror.
>She looks back to you as she drops the letter
>"I'll deal with you later"
>She raises her hoof and smacks you upside the head again
>When you get up again, she's gone
>Now that you're done, it's time to get the hell out of here.
>You pick up your crowbar and start running, when you suddenly feel something wrap around your feet, falling over again
>"Where do you think you're going?"
>Taking a second to slip out of the restrants, you see the bright red Robin.
>"Joker won't protect you this time"
>You stand back up again, with crowbar in hand
"I really would rather we didn't do this, I kind of just want to leave"
>Robin points to the still burning fireworks store.
>"If you think you can just do that and walk away, you're just as insane as Joker!"
>It was a bit optimistic that you would be able to leave without trouble.
"Look, I'm the least of your problems, the Joker is planning some real big and as far as I know I'm not vital to it."
>"Do you really think I'm gonna fall for that?"
>You crack your neck and firmly grasp your weapon
"If that's what you call the truth, then so be it."
>She takes a step forward as you tense up.
>You didn't want to fight, but you can't outrun a Pegasus.
>"The time for talk is over"

>You try to brace yourself as you see her leap toward you, using the crowbar to block.
>With a flap of her wings, she goes over you and grabs the crowbar, going behind you and suddenly starts choking you with your own weapon
>You grab her hoofs and jump onto your back, using yourself to bodyslam her.
>With her wind knocked out, you manage to turn around and pin her down.
>You didn't want to do this, but it's this or get thrown in jail
>Worse yet, maybe make Joker upset at you
>It wasn't even a contest, you raise your fist to punch Robin
>She suddenly stopped trying to get you off of her and punched you in the throat.
>More than a little distracted, she throws you off
>Struggling to breath, you can't fight back as she goes to headbutt you.
>Or at least she tried to, but your mask was thicker than she thought and all she did was hurt herself.
>Getting your breath back and in a panic, you grab the nearest thing and swing.
>You see the crowbar come and smash her upside the head.
>Oh god
>Oh god oh god oh god
>After a few seconds, she doesn't get back up
>Oh god oh fuck oh god
>You go and check her pulse, silently praying you didn't kill her
>Relief goes through you as you feel a steady pulse.
>You look around and see a nearby emergency cart going around
>Gotta act the part
>You walk over confidently, the hospital staff looking at you with fear
"Hey yous, you gotta VIP with a concision over there"
>You point with the bloody crowbar to Robin
>They quickly rush over as you begin to walk away, and after you get some distance you go from strutting with confidence to sprinting in a panic
>You really hope Joker won't be mad when she finds out you beat Robin without her.

>You burst into the hideout, out of breath from running for who knows how long
>As you look around, it's empty
>Not just of Joker, but all the gas canisters and equipment is gone too
>You decide to fish around behind the counter, and you find the mini-T.V.
>Now to see what Joker did.