Gnatty Spider - Club Night

Meria Boucher peers around the strangely-lit hall, eyes wide and fascinated despite the neutral set of her mouth. She has /never/ been in a place like this before, particularly not with... with friends. Or coworkers. Or anyone, really. "I suppose this is it?" she murmurs to the group, then catches the eye of the smiling receptionist at the counter who informed them that the propery proper was down the stairs to their left.
Meria Boucher: ...Shall we?
Terres Regalius nods his head. "Let's hope we get an open area for all o
Terres Regalius nods his head. "Let's hope we get an open area for all o's us."
Meria Boucher glanced towards the pink-haired miqo'te. "I feel as if that will not be a problem."
Hnaba Kaatapoh crosses her arms as she walks in, looking around. "I heard they got actual toliets."
Meria Boucher: ...This land has actual toilets?
Meria Boucher pauses in the main woom, turning her eyes upwards and looking around, fascinated by the soft blue lights and expansive greenery. "Oh, wow..."
Isaudorel Vairemont looks around, admiring the room. "Surprisingly high-class; consider me impressed."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: oOPS
Meria Boucher: No need to yell, Mister Terres. But you did pick a good location. We have the advantage up here; we can see everything and it would be impossible to ambush us.
Terres Regalius peers over at the other man that he just so realizes that he doesn't actually recognize. "I actually just followed him, t' be honest. Er... what's your name, by th' by?"
Meria Boucher slides closer to Isaudorel, wrapping her single arm around his. "....Do, um. You want. Anything to drink?"
Isaudorel Vairemont smiles and pats Meria's head with the free hand. "Perhaps something... light? I tried a sip of Olsent's, what was it, whiskey? And it *still* simply tastes like burning."
Meria Boucher: You like sweeter things, correct? Ones that taste more like fruit?
Isaudorel Vairemont: "Yes, precisely!"
Meria Boucher nods to him, then looks at her company mates. "I am not sure they will have your preferred 'Cactaur Piss', Miss Hnaba, but I can inquire on a reasonable substitute. Does anyone have any other requests? I will, ah... buy a round, as I believe it is called?"
Terres Regalius: "Gods. Was that th' drink I was forced t' consume during that game we played?"
Meria Boucher: No, I believe that was Miss Hnaba's Cactaur Piss accentuated with every condiment we had available in the kitchen. Unless I am mistaken?
Terres Regalius grimaces. "Well, whatever it was, it was absolutely terrible. I'm never accepting a drink from you ever again."
Meria Boucher: Well, what are your preferences? Do you also enjoy sweet things like Isaudorel? Wines? Smokier drinks? Ah, beers or stouts?
Hnaba Kaatapoh turns between Terres and Meria. "It was Funk, an you ain't get it wrong again or i'm gettin' a funnel fer ur room." She points at Terres before turning back to Meria. "Anythin' with a funky glow or color."
Terres Regalius: "Honestly, I'll drink anything with a sweeter taste to it. Not a fan o' the bitter stuff."
Meria Boucher: Understood. A sweet thing for Mister Terres, an extra sweet and fruity thing for Isa, and something phosphourescent for Miss Hnaba. And, ah.
Meria Boucher looks at Vynlarn. "...Are you one of ours? No matter. Tell me your taste preferences."
Terres Regalius everyone: now all staring at vyn
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire jumps with a start and his head turns towards the group of people that had somehow readily made their way here -- or rather he had let his head fall to the clouds. "Ah.... " Soft, easing. What was it they were talking about?? Something fruit. Yeah. yeah. "Ah--I'll take something fruity as well, thank you." Polite speech with ahidden smile as he sinks into the couch hoping to just disappear from prying eyes.4
Hnaba Kaatapoh nods before taking a seat. "Sounds good ta' me." She grabs her node, opening it up like a kinder egg and looking around for something.
Terres Regalius blinks and studies the softer hyur, before coming to some amount of a conclusion and turning his attention to Meria. "Want me t' come with ye  t' help with th' collection o' alcohol? I'd hate t' leave it all up t' one person."
Isaudorel Vairemont looks between Terres and Meria. "I can also assist, if necessary or wished."
Meria Boucher nods, and after giving Isa's sleeve an affectionate peck, she departs. "Please, neither of you worry. Sit, and get comfortable."  When she returns, it's with an entourage of floating drinks, suspended in the air using her gravitational powers. Isaudorel and Vynlarn have been gifted a pair of daquiris, Terres is gifted a rolanberry margarita, Hnaba's drink -- well, it looks a bit like toxic waste and tastes like it too, and Meria has something purple that has a floral scent to it.
Terres Regalius is, in awe, for lacking of better words, when Meria returns. Grabbing the drink from the air, he lightly toasts it back toward her in thanks before taking a hearty sip.
Isaudorel Vairemont takes a seat and looks thoroughly impressed with Meria's gravity schtick, despite the fact he's no doubt seen in dozens upon dozens of times.
Hnaba Kaatapoh grins as she takes her drink, giving a nod towards Meria. "Nice! This is the stuff." She takes a gulp before glancing between the others. "So, I ain't go out like this often. What's tha point other than free drinks?"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire takes the offered drink, gloved hand tight around glass and he gives a nod to Meria. "I'm grateful, thank you." He tips the drink as tho in toast to her and pulls up his mask to take a drink.
Terres Regalius glances to Hna with a look of thought. "Socialization? Atmosphere? I've never gone to such a fancy place like this, but..." He glances down at the stage below them, watching the dancers carefully. "Sometimes they tend t' have other forms of... entertainment.
Isaudorel Vairemont accepts his drink, looking rather pleased. "You've done well to find something that matches my tastes, my dear Meria! And a splendid display of skill of your magic."
Meria Boucher: s/sit
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire glances at Terres and leans back. "Aye -- and that entertainment never sleeps. It brings a lot of business."
Hnaba Kaatapoh grins as she pulls out a thin, circular like device. It looks awfully like a lighter. "I can show'em a good time."
Terres Regalius furrows his brow with deep concern. "For th' love of everything holy, /please/ do not set this place on fire."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "You could get a few clients with that. After all, playing with fire is..."
Terres Regalius waits with even more concern for Vyn to finish his sentence.
Meria Boucher curls up next to him, sipping at her drink and looking at him with adoration gleaming in her golden eyes. "Of course. I make it a priority to know the tastes of everyone around me. Especially yours."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "--Well, it's a welcome challenge."
Terres Regalius does not like that finish to his sentence.
Isaudorel Vairemont looks between the group. "How, exactly, would you find clients with fire?" The poor man is absolutely clueless. He pats Meria on the head. "And you succeed, my dearest Meria! I like to imagine I know your tastes fairly well, as well."
Hnaba Kaatapoh gestures the lighter at Vyn. "I like tha way you think!" She rolls her eyes though. "But FINE , if ya' want ta play it safe." She pockets the object... for now.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "It's typically in whatever money can buy. Many people of wealth find their pockets heavy and their heads full of curiosity, so it leaves them with more than enough time to let their eyes find a prize and be rewarded."
Terres Regalius nods. "Th' last thing we need is t' get kicked out o' this place..."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "Whether or not they're 'burned' -- only time can tell."
Terres Regalius: "This is why I hate rich folk. Especially in Ul'dah..."
Terres Regalius takes a looong drink of his alcohol.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire nods his head. "Play their games well and you'll empty their coffiers in no time."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "And give it to those who need it."
Hnaba Kaatapoh makes a face behind her drink as she downs more of it. She mumbles something about Terres probably being flamable before turning to her node again. "But I ain't make any promises once i get bored."
Terres Regalius grimaces. "Aye, but I hate playing t' their rules. I prefer t' make my own terms and demand they be met."
Terres Regalius everyone starts bitching abt rich ppl while isa and meria stare longingly at each other
Meria Boucher shyly sips at her drink, listening the conversation as she tries to follow along. "Mister Terres... Do you have bad associations with Ul'dah? I cannot blame you, given my own experiences with the city..."
Isaudorel Vairemont: "Didn't you get into some kind of altercation? I'm not especially fond of the place, myself; it's far too hot, for one, along with the... particularities... of the common man there." He takes a sip of his drink, whatever those particularities are, it's not something he's fond of.
Terres Regalius looks to Meria, blinks, before letting out a half-hearted chuckle. "W...well, there wasn't anything quite personal for awhile, but... since all o' th' Javed bullshit happened recently, I'm, uh... sort of— wanted, there, now."
Hnaba Kaatapoh finishes her drink in record time, now with the empty glass she looks around as if not sure where to put it. Her node moves toward her and opens up into a swirling abyss. She shrugs before dropping the glass into it. Theres a noise that's similiar to a garbage disposal before the node closes back up and continues it's floating. Meanwhile Hna had turned to the others to feign some kind of interest in what they were talking about.
Terres Regalius: "Can't step into town for five minutes without authorities trying t' put me in chains. Quite troublesome, really."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire hums quietly. Javed? Was that like the drink java?? He guesses it was an illegal tonic.
Meria Boucher curls up against Isaudorel, and lets out the sort of 'hmph' that would make an anime ojou-sama proud. "I once tried to ask for directions in that Halone-forsaken city and had to endure insults about my betrothed. And they had the audacity to complain when I punched them! I quite understand your discomfort, Mister Terres. Do know I would defend your honor there."
Terres Regalius is briefly horrified by the noises that occurred to next to him.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire squints real hard at that thar floaty ball.
Isaudorel Vairemont: "She's really quite good at defending honor; I would recommend taking her up on that offer, Ser Terres."
Terres Regalius: "Hm... well, unfortunately 'honor' is a foreign concept in that horrid city, unless it has something t' do with coin. They only have false allegations of me, anyway, so of course I refuse t' be locked up under stupid pretenses. That shriveled raisin of a man has accused me of.... 'brainwashing' Serge." He makes a 'tch' sound.
Terres Regalius: "I'd consider bribing th' Brass Blades t' leave me alone, but unfortunately th
Terres Regalius: "- th' Flames have gotten involved now."
Meria Boucher: I am an excellent defender of honor. I once destroyed a man's ego in front of all of his business associates at his own charity ball! Please, be at ease Mister Terres. Sand strips away all of the pretense, leaving the raw bone to bake beneath the sun. Also, Isaudorel and I are committed to making the Eorzean market choke beneath our heels.
Meria Boucher: You have an ally in us, to be certain.
Hnaba Kaatapoh recalls when they had to save Terres, but more importantly, the candy. She'd rate it two stars on yelp.
Meria Boucher sips her drink.
Terres Regalius offers a smile. Meria's a little confused, but she's got the spirit...... "Aye, well— I certainly appreciate it, really." He takes another swig, before taking in a breath and sighing. "Mahv... has been keeping tabs and doing all she can t' come up with a plan t' deal with him. To make matters worse..." There's another grimace on his face. "... I've got- a complicated relationship with an.... assassin, o' sorts, now."
Isaudorel Vairemont has an absolutely horrible look on his face as Meria mentions crushing the local market. "I've been doing business in Ishgard ever since my father grew ill, Ser Terres. I have quite a collection of knowledge that I doubt no native Eorzean would *ever* be able to counter. In addition, while my family's business is in shambles, my personal work is doing quite well for itself. You'll find that I have money to spare." He sounds... far too into this, in a sadistic kind of way. It's concerning.
Meria Boucher: An assassin? Please, do tell. My mother worked in the field, so I'm aware of some of the particulars.
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Ain't actually know much 'bout Ul'dah. It's hot, an I get all sweaty in the pits." She frowns. "Y'all talk all serious an bussiness-y what's a simple folk like me supposed ta' do if I can't light a fire?" She
Meria Boucher just casually admits her mom kills people. OKAY.
Hnaba Kaatapoh stands. "I'm gonna find those toliet's i heard bout."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire likes Meria's style -- beneath all the glamour the rich possess they're naught but mewling babes when an iron fist descends. "A firm hand to keep them in their place..."
Terres Regalius is only a /little/ unsettled by Meria and Isaudorel's mannerisms. They're so incredibly sometimes.... and yet he finds them charming. Says a lot about this dumbass. "Er... it's— an incredibly complicated situation, and quite a long story, t' be honest." He rubs the back of his head sheepishly.
Terres Regalius: incredibly uncanny*))
Isaudorel Vairemont: "Complicated situations can often be solved with simple solutions, Ser Terres."
Meria Boucher points at herself. "I am an incredibly complicated circumstance just by /existing/, Mister Terres. And as Isaudorel suggests, sometimes those are solved by simple solutions. Like knives."
Meria Boucher: Or being crushed beneath the weight of your economic rival.
Isaudorel Vairemont: "Or acid."
Isaudorel Vairemont: "Poison is also another good solution."
Terres Regalius purses his lips. "I'm... afraid this one porbably can't." He lets out a sigh, before downing the rest of his drink. "I don't... even know where t' begin. I- need another drink."
Meria Boucher: Well-aimed acid.
Isaudorel Vairemont: "I assure you, my dear, you will be in charge of actually *throwing* the acid."
Terres Regalius: "... Please not on me, this time."
Meria Boucher: Would you like me to get you another one? Mister Terres, I promised you my aid. I've killed a dragon mid-flight, I've crawled through a blizzard alone with the mere might of my own willpower to guide me. And also... Isaudorel will /not/ be throwing acid on his allies now that I'm around.
Meria Boucher: He'll be making better choices.
Meria Boucher sends a sharp look at the elezen.
Isaudorel Vairemont smiles and just accepts the scolding.
Hnaba Kaatapoh arrives in the promised land of plumbing and white thrones. Passing by one of the curtains, she stares down the object of her current obsession. She could practically hear it calling her name as she moved to stand next to it. There's a grin on her face as she peels off the lid to it's innards and looks inside. "Look at all these parts, right fer the pickin'." She rubs her hands together, pulling out a blowtorch and a electric saw. "Now, I can either harvest ya' or cause a scene."
Terres Regalius: "Oh, no worries Mirss Meria, I can retrieve it m'self." He stands, mumbling something about taking a shot while he was at the bar, before making his way down there.
Meria Boucher takes another sip of her drink. Given her mouse-like alcohol tolerance, even this has been enough to get her a little tipsy, and she scoots herself into Isaudorel's lap as she looks to Vynlarn. "...My apologies for my rudeness. I do not think I have acquired your name. I am Meria Boucher, of Ishgard."
Terres Regalius eventually makes his way to the bar; he can be seen speaking briefly to the tender, before leaning up against the bartable. Eventually the barkeep hands him a tiny glass and the rogue quickly downs it, before being handed what looks to be a bottle of ale, before he trudges his way back up to their sitting area and plopping back down into his seat.
Isaudorel Vairemont finishes his drink and wraps an arm around Meria's waist. "Isaudorel Vairemont, at your service."
Terres Regalius suddenly remembers that Hna has been gone for a little while.... hm. She's probably fine.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire shakes his head, his glass still heavy with liquor as he drinks only a bit at a time. "None taken. It's nice to meet you, Meria, Isa. I am Vynlarn -- of the Forelands."
Hnaba Kaatapoh brings her node over so that it could Succ up that sweet, sweet toliet water. Once the innards of the toliet are clear of liquid, she fires up the saw. It's loud enough to likely make anyone outside the bathroom question the noise, but Hna smiles and hums happily as she saws through tubing; picking out the pieces she liked best to pocket. She also swipes the plunger and chain, and maybe the handle as well after torching off what kept it in place. Now. What to do next was the real question
Isaudorel Vairemont smiles and nods. "A pleasure, Ser Vynlarn."
Meria Boucher manages to restrain herself from turning her nose upwards and correcting him with an imperial 'Isaudorel', laying claim to her fiancee's nickname for her and her alone. But only just. Instead, she tucks herself protectively around him, as if acting as a shield between the new interger and her lanky elezen husband. "Forelands? As in... The Dravanian Forelands?"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire pauses briefly, only momentarily noticing he didn't pronounce the latter's name fully and therefore acting too familiar and slipping up and and and -- his mind kinda died. Hmm, whoops. He took a deep swig and feels his stomach tighten at the noises coming from the bathroom. Whoever that poor soul was he hoped they survived -- bathroom trouble was simply THE WORST. "Ah, aye." He paused again -- she mentioned Ishgard, therefore... "Pleasant place, what with the lack of snow."
Terres Regalius closes his eyes and sort of loses himself in his thoughts, before taking a hearty swig of his drink.
Isaudorel Vairemont: "I fear you're mistaken. "Lack" of snow, Ser Vylarn?"
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Gonna make one of these bad boys fer home." She mumbles to herself while picking up the lid from floor. It was actually a lot heavier than it looked, and she was tempted to just toss it back on. Which she did. There's a loud thud, and the toliet itself cracks a thin line down the tank. "Oh..." She looks to her node. "Guess should make it look like I ain't plundered their shit, huh.." She opens up her handy node once again, looking for maybe some sticky tac or duct tape.
Meria Boucher: Ah... it's not quite as frost-begotten as Ishgard is, Isaudorel. Even after the Calamity.
Isaudorel Vairemont looks down at Meria and nods. "Ah, perhaps Olsent simply visited it during a snowstorm." He pauses. "Or perhaps it was another one of his many, many tall tales."
Meria Boucher: Olsent has quite a lot of those. Though, you have passed through them before -- though that was before the Calamity. On your visits to Sharlayan.
Meria Boucher: ...to visit me.
Isaudorel Vairemont: "Ah, yes, I remember now! With my coat stuffed full of spices, if I'm not mistaken."
Terres Regalius returns to reality and perks up at the mention of Sharlayan.
Meria Boucher maybe turns a couple shades darker at that. Her resoundingly neutral expression persists, though. "Yes. Sharlayan does not believe in making food palatable; they believe in culinary efficiency."
Terres Regalius lets our a (strangely sad) chuckle. "Aye, th' food there has always been absolutely terrible! To even think that I grew up eating it..."
Meria Boucher blinks, perking up a bit herself. "Mister Terres... you studied there as well?"
Terres Regalius: "I wouldn't call it 'study', per se, but aye- I hail from Sharlayan. Born and raised, before I came to Vylbrand a few year ago."
Terres Regalius: years*))
Meria Boucher: ...Really. I studied in the colony before the exile. That is where I learned the foundation of my astrologian arts, though my interests lay in their applicability to war, which... was never encouraged by my teachers.
Hnaba Kaatapoh produced some very handy duct tape, and slapped that bad boy over the crack in the tank. Putting two of three layers on because why not. She pulls out a pen and writes a "sorry :)" on it before exiting the stall. "Well, that was a good haul I thonk." She pats her node. "With any luck, ain't no one even know it's busted!" She puts away her tools and goes to wash her hands since good hygine was important. Once she's finished, she turns to look at her node. "Well, guess we gotta go back."
Meria Boucher: I'll have to make you more delicious food, then. To compensate for your terrible childhood.
Terres Regalius: "Oh, th' colony! I never had a chance t' visit, before they mass-migrated away..." A much more genuine smile curls upon his lips. "I would much appreciate that, Miss Meria. Your cooking has been absolutely splendid."
Meria Boucher further asserts her dominance over her husband by nestling more comfortably against him, even to the point where she's got her head tucked beneath his chin. "You honor me, Mister Terres. It has always been a mere hobby of mine."
Isaudorel Vairemont: "A mere hobby? My dear Meria, you could absolutely become a professional chef." He idly strokes her hair as he continues to compliment her.
Hnaba Kaatapoh glances around the corner to see if her associates were still here. Yep. They sure are. She turns back to her node with a frown. "But they're prolly talkin' bout borin' shit like stanky Ul'dah an using fancy words like Sir an shit." She laughs. "Maybe i'll just snack out here fer a little longer." She rests near the sink and pulls out some candy, crunching it loudly while looking around the room.
Meria Boucher: Isaudorel! You're just flattering me.
Isaudorel Vairemont: "I simply speak the truth!"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire feels his lips pull into a grin beneath his mask and his eyes go to the dancers below -- their moves gracefully erotic....only to see Hna come from the bathroom and the lad chokes on his drink. Ah, so she had lived through it. Truly a woman of strength.
Terres Regalius watches as Meria becomes extra friendly with Isa, his increasingly intoxicated mind wishing that he was..... either of them, really. "I agree with him! Truly is some o' th' best food I've ever eaten."
Meria Boucher: It --- it was simply a skill developed from boredom when I could not leave the house! That is all.
Terres Regalius: "Well, even still, it was a skill well developed!"
Meria Boucher: Ah, well, mm... having someone eat your food is...
Meria Boucher: People like those who can cook.
Terres Regalius 's smile slightly falters at the implication of her statement. He remember what she's said to him before... and it makes him a bit sad.
Hnaba Kaatapoh finally makes her way out of the bathroom, and back to the others. Taking a seat again like she hadn't been gone for some ungodly amount of time.
Terres Regalius: "I— just- t' make it clear, I like you more than for just your cooking, aye? Th' food is a wonderful bonus, I must admit..." Let him just casually say some very sappy shit and not relizes what it might sound like-
Terres Regalius: realize*))
Meria Boucher: What else would you enjoy my company for? Other than saving you from that horrible torture chambe-- oh, welcome back, Miss Hnaba! Was your excursion productive?
Meria Boucher: ...Will we be kicked out shortly?
Meria Boucher: I prefer having a warning if so.
Terres Regalius glances back to Hna, remembering that she was gone and not sitting next to him this entire time. Or was she...? He can't remember.
Hnaba Kaatapoh laughs as she waves a hand. "Wha? Nah, just had to take a wicked shit. I wouldn't go in tha first stall if I were u."
Meria Boucher: ...My question stil stands. Will the aroma require a quarantine?
Terres Regalius takes a quick drink of his beverage before raising his hand pointedly toward Meria. "You're a very kind person, first of all. Always looking out for others. And- you're very pretty, on top o' it all!" His words were slurring just a /tad/ bit, but it's fine.
Hnaba Kaatapoh places a finger to her chin. "Maybe, I ain't record the levels o' toxic that got kicked up in there." She grins. "If it burns of a nose er eyes, eh. Ain't my deal." She reaches over to slap a hand on Terres' shoulder. "In fact, why don't mister terres go take a sit down in there?"
Terres Regalius takes a little too long for someone with his type of general reflexes to respond and glace back at Hna. "... Huh?"
Meria Boucher takes a similar amount of time to respond with a quiet, "...Pretty?"
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Tha toliet, i think it's the kind that sprays ur ass. You should go take a load off. It'll do ya good." She turns to look at Vyn, but also doesn't know his name. "You too, nice pink hair by tha way. Good color."
Terres Regalius furrows his brow in confusion, his eyes beginning to squint a bit. The lighting here was odd, that's all. "Eh? I don't gotta take a piss, though..."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire chuckles and raises a hand to pry the mask off his face to get fresh air. "Thank you, I always thought so. Though I don't really have to go now...." He thinks on it. Did he really not have to go or was he just telling himself that so later when he gets up he has to crab walk his way down stairs? Eh, he might as well. The drink loosened him up a bit, and he might as well see if that room is just as nice as the rest.
Hnaba Kaatapoh turned her attention from Terres to Vyn. "Aw, fair nuff. Names Hna by the way." She still has a firm hand on Terres while gazing at Vyn.
Meria Boucher: What do you mean, sprays your...
Meria Boucher: ...
Meria Boucher: ...Buttocks?
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "Vynlard, well met."
Terres Regalius continues to stare at Hna confoundedly, before taking a long swig of his ale.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "...Vynlarn." HE corrected himself.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "It's ah.....it's handy the toilets do that. Money well spent."
Meria Boucher: ...Is it?
Meria Boucher: How?
Terres Regalius: "It's uncomfortable as hell, just wipe your own arse."
Meria Boucher stares at Vynlarn. Please explain.
Hnaba Kaatapoh slaps Terres harder on the shoulder as she laughs. "Aight, Lard it is!" She then turns to look at Meria. "Nah, Terres shh." She shakes her head. "Ya' can adjust how much spray an even at what rate it spray! It's all good. Like a message down there, ya kno?"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire brings a hand to his face, squeezing his eyes shut and tries not to scream and run home to his moms. He bites the inside of his cheeks and just nearly cries in praise when Hna answers for him.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "YES!" The man practically screams. "A massage that....cleeaannnsss....!"
Terres Regalius looks back at Hna in absolute confusion, before looking back at Vyn in absolute concern. What the hell was happening around him?
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "It...helps with the hygiene."
Terres Regalius is quiet a moment, before, "... Is wiping your arse not enough or something? I don't get it...."
Hnaba Kaatapoh gestures to Terres while still looking at Meria. "I can show ya' how it works as Terres is the test subject."
Terres Regalius looks between Vyn and Hna, reading way too far into this. "... Do ye two have some kind o' history or somethin'? Are you making him uneasy on purpose, Hna? What in th' hells is goin' on?"
Meria Boucher: ....A,,,, A wgat>
Terres Regalius: "Huh? I'm not gonna be your experiment!"
Meria Boucher: A.... a what...?*
Meria Boucher: How does that relate to washrooms...?
Hnaba Kaatapoh glances back to Terres, frowning. "Nah, I ain't but he said lard I only reapeatin'! But don't get me distracted from them spray toliets. I could prolly drag it up here if yer feelin' that shy."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire blinks at Hna's offer before lifing his glass and just downing what's there. He's fallen down a rabbit hole of plumbing technology and potential public indecency.
Meria Boucher: Mister Terres, Miss Hnaba is a very confusing tutor. Will you instruct me on the function of spray toliets? I believe Isaudorel would be curious as well. We are both very concerned with hygeine.
Terres Regalius: "I would rather y' not bring anything up here, unless ye really feel like getting kicked out!"
Terres Regalius glances over to Meria with a very defeated expression. "... Do I really have to?"
Terres Regalius: "I don't.... even know how they work."
Hnaba Kaatapoh waves a hand at Meria. "She wants ta' know how it works! Ya really gonna deny her?"
Meria Boucher: I would never force you into anything, Mister Terres.
Meria Boucher has nothing but pure innocence in her soft, golden gaze. "Despite my curiousity, I am not that sort of person."
Terres Regalius: "I really appreciate it...." He turns toward Hna. "See, she says it's fine!"
Meria Boucher shifts her gaze to Hnaba. "I suppose I could procure a demonstration from you, then?" Terres... are you really going to allow this...?
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Baby..." She mutters before pulling away from Terres. "All ya do is pop a squat, an there's all these fancy buttons ya' can press an they all do somthin' different." She then starts to stand up. "Hells, I'm prolly gonna make one for the estate back home, then you'll have all the time in the world ta' try it out."
Meria Boucher blinks. "Pop a... squat? As in, doing exercises? They are part of an exercise routine?"
Terres Regalius turns back toward Meria with an even /more/ defeated expression, as if that were even possible. Why was he suddenly the bad guy...? Looking between her and Hna, he suddenly felt as if he really had no choice. "For th' love of...." There's a very loud sigh before he downs the rest of his ale. "... Gods, fine. I'll go check out this fancy gods damned toilet."
Meria Boucher turns her curious look to Terres. "...Should I embark on this quest with you, or...?"
Terres Regalius shrugs his shoulders. "???? it, let's just make it a company field trip. Guess we're all gonna check out a toilet."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Good on ya!"
Terres Regalius grimaces at Hna.
Terres Regalius mumbles, "Gods...." under his breath, before reluctantly making his way toward the washroom.
Meria Boucher tugs the (nonexistant) elezen up, preparing to go on a company excursion to the bathroom. She looks at Vynlarn. "Would you like to partake in adventure as well?"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire nods his head, pushing himself up from hisseat. "Might as well -- the more the merrier.
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Make sure ta use this left one, first got broke .. er somethin' I dunno."
Meria Boucher: Miss Hnaba, by 'broke', do you mean that you destroyed it in one of your experiments?
Terres Regalius looks incredibly more confused, but decides not to question it. "... Alright." He walks up and pushes back the curtain so that everyone could see, before inspecting the seat and around it.
Hnaba Kaatapoh laughs. "Eh, sometimes ya' gotta borrow what ya can." She moves more towards the stall now, ah... the beautiful throne...
Terres Regalius: "... So, what do I do now?"
Meria Boucher waits patiently with bated breath to be introduced to toilet lore.
Hnaba Kaatapoh lifts up the lid and points to the sprayer. "That's what sprays ur ass." She then points to the multiple buttons nearby. "An that controls what an when it sprays." She presses on of the buttons and a quick stream of water flies out of the toilet at them.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire feels his eyes widen. He did not imagine his evening would lead him to be stuffed into a toilet stall with 3 other people.
Terres Regalius winces at the thought of water spraying his ass. "... Huh." A pause. "... Okay, that's all I needed t' see, can we leave now-"
Meria Boucher: ...Would it not be cold and uncomfortable?
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire nervous laughter bubbls in his throat."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Lets see.. ya' can prob decide the temp..." She looks closer at the buttons, looking maybe for a red one. "Maybe this?" She presses the red button a few times quickly before then pressing another button for it to spray. This one was a lot quicker, but noticebly warmer as there's some steam coming from it. "Ya can like... dry clean ur ass!"
Terres Regalius widen in horror. That looks painful. "Why in th' ever-loving hells would I want t' do that,"
Terres Regalius: his eyes*))
Meria Boucher: ...
Meria Boucher: ...Do those outside of Ishgard use public toilets to defecate? It is common practice to 'hold it' until one is home to use the washroom where I am from.
Terres Regalius looks back toward Meria, thinking a moment. "... Honestly, not that I'm aware of. In Limsa, you'd just walk outside and piss into th' ocean, if you're lucky enough t' have th' right parts... or brave enough if you've th' wrong parts."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Cuz why not!" She starts presses multiple different buttons and the toliet sprays all sorts of streams of water out. Quick, small ones, l o n g, slow ones........... "It's good if ya' got a lot o' time an ya just want a nice time wit you, urself, an a spray boy." She slaps the side of the toliet as it keeps spraying water.
Meria Boucher: That is urinating, Mister Terres. Both sexes have the same anatomical advantage when it comes to defectating in the ocean.
Meria Boucher: ...
Meria Boucher: ...Have you ever...?
Terres Regalius blinks. There's a pause. "... Have I what?"
Meria Boucher: ...The ocean.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire breathes heavily through his nose. No, please, he does not want the mental image. "...Desparate times call for desparate measures."
Meria Boucher stares at him, hoping he'll pick up the first part of the question.
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Sometimes ya just gotta go!"
Terres Regalius 's mouth is slightly ajar, his intoxicated mind not catching on. "... Wh...at about th' ocean?"
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "HAVE YOU TAKEN A SHIT IN THE OCEAN"
Terres Regalius: "..."
Meria Boucher stares up at Terres.
Terres Regalius: "What- no!! What in th' ????— gods, no I have never done that, why would anyone ever! Just do that??"
Terres Regalius: "Pissed, aye, but I can't- I can't even swim!!"
Hnaba Kaatapoh shakes her head. "Like lard said, desprate measures." She then laughs. "I guess that's ur next dare for truth or dare. We do live by the ocean.."
Meria Boucher: Well, then we circle back to my social training which stipulates that you do not defecate anywhere but one's -- wait.
Meria Boucher: You cannot swim, Mister Terres?
Terres Regalius: "Er— n-no, I cannot. Sink like a damned anchor."
Meria Boucher: Would you like me to teach you?
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "We can start here!" She reaches into the toliet to adjust the sprayer. "Think fast!" She slams the button on the toliet and it starts to hit Terres with water.
Meria Boucher: Ah, no -- !
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire jumps from Hna's action, despite him not being the one geting squirted.
Meria Boucher steps in front of Terres to block the spray of water, getting her precariously short skirt rather wet in the process.
Terres Regalius blinks, before sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "Er... w-well—" He's cut off as he's suddenly sprayed with ????ing TOILET WATER, and he recoils back into Vynlarn behind him. This drunk ??????? has no balance.
Hnaba Kaatapoh bursts into laughter as she points at the wet spot on Meria's skirt. "It looks like ye pissed yerself!" She's slapping her knees and nearly in tears at this point.
Meria Boucher looks down at her skirt. "Oh," she says, before beginning to tug it off.
Terres Regalius: "Wh- Meria, what—!!!"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire raises his hands and grasps Terres' upper arms to hold him in place. "O-Oh!" He tilts his head, brows furrowed as he looked down at Terres. "You, ah, ok?"
Meria Boucher: Underwear is indistinguishable from a swimsuit in this land! I cannot appear as if I soiled my clothing.
Meria Boucher: This is simply the most logical choice.
Terres Regalius looks back to Vyn and realizes that he's /really close/, and now Meria is removing her skirt. He's all of a sudden ready to burst into flames.
Hnaba Kaatapoh leans against the wall as she collects herself from hysterics. But watching Terres she points and starts all over again. There are words that come out but they are impossible to understand.
Meria Boucher lets her skirt drop past her knees, revealing her underwear to the world. This is probably because she has the alcohol tolerance of a sea cucumber. "Miss Hnaba, does this look fine?"
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire lifts a gloved hand and wipes at Terres' face, pushing wet hair aside and pats his arms before moving to remove the cloth over his shoulders. "What a mess..." IN more ways than one. He quickly drapped the clothe around Meria and secured it at her hips before he slipped on the wet tiles.
Hnaba Kaatapoh lets out a gasp as she points at Meria and then she all but falls back into the wall when Vyn slips. "Y'all-- I can't !" She's wiping her eyes, some of her makeup smearing.
Meria Boucher: You can't... what? Oh -- thank you, Mister Vynlarn.
Terres Regalius 's face lights the ???? up at the gentle touch of his face and push of his hair, completely forgetting that Meria was in the process of removing her clothes- until Vyn slipped, and Terres reached out to catch him, except he held no strength to himself, and slipped with him...... only to land directly on top of Vyn. Ah.
Meria Boucher looks back at him, nodding a--- um. Oh.
Hnaba Kaatapoh starts coughing as her node buzzes around her worriedly. She has to close her eyes in case somehow they managed to make it even more horribly hilarious than it was. "I'm dyin' , Gods!" She says through her strained voice, placing a hand to her chest to try and breathe.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire lands with a wheeze and felt akin to a whoopy cushion as Terres' weight added on. "Nngh..." He blinks a few times. "That...wasn't so bad! I...you're okay, right?" He stared up at the lad. "Well...at least one thing's for sure -- that toilet can spray."
Meria Boucher leans down, offering a hand. If either were to look up the right way, they'd definitely get an upskirt shot. "Oh dear -- are either of you injured?"
Terres Regalius stared with widened eyes at Vyn as he processed what the hell had just happened, and where exactly he was. And once he finally /did/ realize... the rogue yelled a frantic "Yes!!" in response to his question before scrambling backward onto his ass before covering his mouth with a hand. He truly was going to pass out if the night continued like this-Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire gladly took Meria's hand and he gave them a warm grin, pink dusting his cheeks.  "I'm good! We got very lucky."
Meria Boucher gave Vynlarn a nod as she helped heave him up. Despite her small frame, she's extremely strong. "I am glad. That would be an embarrassing injury to explain to the medics."
Hnaba Kaatapoh snorts as she watches Terres look like a complete fool. "Ya'll really found a way ta' make even lookin' at a toliet turn into somethin' like this."
Terres Regalius says absolutely nothing, and instead somehow manages to stumble onto his feet without saying a single word. He's trying to his best to cover his face, but it's still obvious that he's as pink as Vyn's hair.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire "Now about the mess..." He stares at the tiles before raisinga hand to rub his neck. "--I'd say we leave it."
Meria Boucher looks to Hnaba. "Something like what?" She inquires.
Hnaba Kaatapoh at Meria's question, she points at Terres. "Lookin' like that!"
Terres Regalius shoots a glare at Hna beneath the hand over his mouth.
Meria Boucher: Like... what?
Meria Boucher looks up at Terres, head tilted to the side like an inquisitive bird.
Terres Regalius barely glances at Meria before turing his head away completely. "L-like nothing! There's nothing- it's, r-really cramped in here, aye? Can we leave now?"
Meria Boucher considers him for a moment before asking, "...Ah, do I smell? Of toilet water? Is that why you are uncomfortable?"
Terres Regalius: "... I think we all smell like toilet water at this point. B-but no— it just... cramped." He swallows a lump in his throat. "And hot."
Hnaba Kaatapoh rolls her eyes at Terres. "Suuureee." She giggles when Meria mentions toliet water.
Meria Boucher blinks, then raises a hand to touch his forehead. "You are not feverish, are you? It is not particularly warm in here..."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire tilts his head curiously and cautiously steps on the tiles. He reaches behind him to pull the curtain aside, letting in a puff of fresh air. "Take care to watch your step!"
Terres Regalius flinches and his face lights up again. Hoo boy. "N-no, that is not th' is not th' issue...!"
Meria Boucher: ...Ahh? But Mister Terres, you are burning up...
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "It wouldn't bode well to catch a fever..."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Burnin' up with looooooooooovvveee!" She says with a laugh as she moves out of the stall.
Meria Boucher: It is not because of the water, is it?
Terres Regalius: "I just n-need t' step outside, is all....!"
Meria Boucher: So it is the smell...
Meria Boucher seem not to have properly registered Hnaba's comment/
Terres Regalius makes a mental note to somehow cause all of Hna's equipment to rust.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "Love?" He makes a confused noise. "Your love of water? Toiletry? OH! You must in awe of the latter?"
Terres Regalius is about to lose it and attempts to crawl out of the stall. This night turned into absolute chaos.
Meria Boucher: --Oh! Do toilets make you flusterd, Mister Terres?
Meria Boucher looks up at Vynlarn, nodding. "I think he is flustered by toilets."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Yea, Terres got it bad for toliets that spray." She says off hand, grinning at him.
Terres Regalius will just sit here and recover until he is needed to move—
Meria Boucher reaches out to pat his back. "It is okay, Mister Terres. I have learned that everyone has their strange deviancies. Why, Isaudorel seems like a perfect gentlemen... but he enjoys wearing a collar and begs to be bitten!"
Meria Boucher is so, so not sober.
Terres Regalius violently looks back at Meria and Isa, his face burning. "He whAT—"
Meria Boucher: Oh, he loves to be dominated.
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Y'all a mess." She shakes her head at them.
Meria Boucher says this as cheerfully as she can given her perpetual stoicism.
Terres Regalius stares at her a moment with his mouth fully ajar, before whipping back around and covering his mouth once again. This was TOO much for his wild-ass imagination.
Meria Boucher: ...Are you feeling ill, Mister Terres? Perhaps we should reunite with Isaudorel upstairs; he may have something on hand to ease your troubles...
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire 's brows furrowed in concern before he took a breath and, in smooth movements, had a hand at Terres' back and the other beneath the man's knees and lifted him off the ground. "We';ll take you to sit down until you feel more well."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Is it a rock? Or maybe a brick for the back o' his head." She laughs with a knowing grin.
Terres Regalius exhales sharply. "I'm sure his hands would be enough," He roughly mumbles behind his hand, but realizes that he spoke ALOUD, and so he attempts to rush to his feet- except, he's now been lifted off of the ground and is being held. Ah. If one looked closely, one could almost see the steam coming from his head...
Meria Boucher watches Terres be lifted up into the air, nodding approvingly before saying, "Oh, he's got very dexterous fingers. His massages always make me feel better."
Terres Regalius just.... hangs there, mouth continuing to hang open in complete confusion and stupor.
Meria Boucher: ...Mister Terres? Are you sure you are not ill?
Terres Regalius doesn't respond. The alcohol has gotten to him.. He's long gone at this point, too busy drunkenly staring into Vyn's eyes.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire: "Perhaps you'd rather lie down instead?"
Meria Boucher: Maybe that'd be best. Let's get him back upstairs to the couch.
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire nods his head and moves to take Tewwes upstawrs. uwu
Meria Boucher pats her lap. "Here, Mister Terres can use me as a pillow."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire Carefully lays terres down onto a couch, making sure his head is cushioned on Meria's lap. "There we go. Just breathe deep."
Hnaba Kaatapoh snickers a bit while patting her node. "Y'all really hopeless." She crosses her arms while looking around the room. "I ain't even know how y'all found this place but they gonna need ta' get their pluming fixed.."
Terres Regalius is lain on his back with his head in Meria's lap, his mind completely unable to comprehend what exactly was happening to him, but it wasn't like he was really capable of doing anything about it, anyway. Might as well accept this.... acceptable fate.
Meria Boucher gently runs her fingers through the man's hair, looking down at him with golden eyes that glint in the ethereal blue light. We'll pretend Isa has snuggled back up to her too for double the Terres murder. "What do you mean, Miss Hnaba?"
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "What part what do ya' mean? The findin' this place or the plumbing?"
Meria Boucher: Oh, I meant how we're hopeless. We found this location due to a flyer on one of the city bulletin boards, and the plumbing difficulties seem like a natural consequence of your presence.
Meria Boucher: Ah, no offense is meant by this.
Hnaba Kaatapoh covers her mouth with a hand. "I mean... uhh.." She looks more pointedly at Terres. "We went in just ta' check out a toliet an came back with Terres like that."
Meria Boucher blinks. "That also seems like a natural consequence of going anywhere with you. Again, no offense meant."
Meria Boucher: You want to steal all of the candy and blow things up.
Meria Boucher: ...It is not a negative quality.
Hnaba Kaatapoh shrugs. "I dunno! I ain't one fer sittin' around talkin' over tea er whatever y'all were doin' earlier. Since Terres ain't want me to light a fire, going to the toliet was the next best thing."
Terres Regalius has also seemingly passed out at this point, though the redness of his cheeks has yet to disappear.
Meria Boucher is still soothingly running her hands through Terres's hair, which... probably doesn't help the man's blood pressure. "I do not believe they serve tea here, Miss Hnaba, unless tea is a euphemism for an alcoholic beverage. But if you enjoy toilets, I am not one to judge."
Vynlarn Hvislar-d'ire thinks for a moment as the ladies talk before it hits him. Terres and Merai are soaked and more than likely getting cold, meaning they'd need to change. He's nearly ready to grab things before he realizes that 1. They're in a club, 2. he just met them and therefore does not have clothes and/or a warmer, comfier place for them.
Terres Regalius only slightly stirs, and eventually mumbles something - it's slurred, almost incoherent, and something along the lines of, "...but I.... want it off...."
Meria Boucher looks down at Terres again. "He wants it... oh, perhaps he wishes for his wet shirt to be taken off? I could place my coat over him."
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "I mean... I dunno if that's the best place, in a club in all." She taps her chin. "Mayb' it be time ta start headin' home?"
Meria Boucher: Hm, perhaps that would be a wise choice. Isaudorel and I can let him rest at our home; give him a warm change of clothes and make sure he's tucked in soundly.Terres Regalius seems to almost.... lean into Meria's hands as she runs her fingers through his hair, despite the fact that he's very much passd out. Taking him somewhere was probably the best option available.
Hnaba Kaatapoh: "Oh, ya'll gotta place? I wanna see!"
Meria Boucher: Ah... truly? Well - you must promise not to destroy too much of it upon your visit, or critique my decorating skills. It is recently acquired.
Hnaba Kaatapoh grinned as she waved a hand. "Aye, I'll b good. I swear!"
Meria Boucher nods, giving Terres another headpat. "Let's get him there, then."