Lost

i miss my old self. i miss being happy. i miss being carefree. i miss feeling loved. i miss being able to laugh. i feel like i'm drowning and everyone around me is happy. i miss being able to control my thoughts. i miss being able to hang out with people without constantly having my head tell me things. i miss smiling. i miss other emotions. i miss feeling things. i miss sleeping peacefully, not to escape this horrid world and my mind, but to sleep. i miss saying "im tired" and meaning i just want to sleep and not meaning im tired with life. i miss having friends. i miss not feeling scared and tired at the same time.