Admin LorasToday at 4:44 PM
THE CASUAL BDSM SERVER IS A NIGHTMARE
StarGaladinToday at 4:44 PM
so i definitely feel like making them nongendered
Admin LorasToday at 4:45 PM
WE LEFT THERE FOR A REASON LOL
MaddieToday at 4:45 PM
What
Admin BaileyToday at 4:45 PM
they're jsut as fucking transphobic
MaddieToday at 4:45 PM
Why
StarGaladinToday at 4:45 PM
would be a good thing
Admin BaileyToday at 4:45 PM
Yeah
MaddieToday at 4:45 PM
No one there is transphobic to me
Admin BaileyToday at 4:45 PM
I'm gonna do that tbh
MaddieToday at 4:45 PM
They all know im trans
Hell i outed myself after they thought i was cis for 3 months by posting my dick and they were supportivr
StarGaladinToday at 4:46 PM
@Admin Bailey your experiences are valid and I trust your judgment. @Maddie your experiences are not universal, they are valid but not universal
MaddieToday at 4:46 PM
Im just asking how they are transphobic
StarGaladinToday at 4:46 PM
then say that
Admin LorasToday at 4:46 PM
Casual BDSM was full of creeps who slid in my DMs constantly and when I brought it up to Admins, was told "they aren't technically breaking any rules."
MaddieToday at 4:47 PM
Block them
Admin BaileyToday at 4:47 PM
Everyone that slid into my DMs either blocked me after finding out I was trans
MaddieToday at 4:47 PM
It takes 3 seconds lol
Admin BaileyToday at 4:47 PM
Or called me various slurs
Admin LorasToday at 4:47 PM
When "Ask To DM" is my role I shouldn't fucking have to
Admin BaileyToday at 4:47 PM
Mentioned it to the admins
nothing was done
I'm not saying you should leave or anything lol
Just that we had a bad experience there
And left for those reasons
Admin LorasToday at 4:47 PM
Right stay if you want, but also that server is garbo
StarGaladinToday at 4:47 PM
the problem in this case is NOT that the individuals, it is the system enabling the individuals
MaddieToday at 4:48 PM
To be fair one of the mods is a child
whats his name
Admin LorasToday at 4:48 PM
Admins are shitlords and the members are all disgustingly entitled
AllyToday at 4:48 PM
Wait so this server?
Admin LorasToday at 4:48 PM
Agreed, Star
Admin BaileyToday at 4:48 PM
No not this server silly
The Casual BDSM Server is what we're talking about
Admin LorasToday at 4:48 PM
No Ally, it's called "The Casual BDSM Server"
Admin BaileyToday at 4:48 PM
But for all of those reasons we stated
MaddieToday at 4:48 PM
Who is entitled?
Admin BaileyToday at 4:49 PM
and my bad experiences in Intrigue
Admin LorasToday at 4:49 PM
All of the men sliding in my DMs asking for nudes, for one lol
Admin BaileyToday at 4:49 PM
I decided to just make my own queer centric one
MaddieToday at 4:49 PM
I mean men do that everywhere
Thats just the internet lol
Admin LorasToday at 4:49 PM
Doesn't make them less entitled?
MaddieToday at 4:49 PM
I guess i kinda just expect men to be creeps
Admin LorasToday at 4:49 PM
It was a shit server, over and done like.... it was triggering as shit to be surrounded by predators that weren't being controlled by mods and admins
I left there and discovered Intrigue, which seemed nice...til it wasn't
MaddieToday at 4:50 PM
Asking for nudes is predatory?
MEE6BOTToday at 4:50 PM
GG @Maddie, you just advanced to level 6!
Admin LorasToday at 4:50 PM
Now I am about to leave Kittystan because I keep getting goddamn DMs from those people too
Asking for nudes is 100000% predatory....
MaddieToday at 4:51 PM
But you dont have to give them nudes
Admin LorasToday at 4:51 PM
If I have never spoken to you in my life and I am not advertising that I am interested in sending randos nudes, then yes it's textbook predatory
MaddieToday at 4:51 PM
You can just not and block them
Admin BaileyToday at 4:51 PM
When someone slides randomly into your inbox
and asks for nudes
then berates you for refusing
it is 100% predatory
Admin LorasToday at 4:51 PM
Or I can leave the server that doesn't care about the safety of their more vulnerable members
Admin BaileyToday at 4:51 PM
I'm happy (and I do not mean that sarcastically) that you have had good experiences there
But we did not
AllyToday at 4:52 PM
Why would they want nudes?
Admin LorasToday at 4:52 PM
Because men ar epigs
Admin BaileyToday at 4:52 PM
^
AllyToday at 4:52 PM
That ain’t kosher
Admin LorasToday at 4:52 PM
Tru
MaddieToday at 4:53 PM
Its not exploitive though, you have control over what you give them, you can just block them. Obv its terrible behaviour but by definition its not predatory unless they can somehow force or manipulate you into giving them
Admin LorasToday at 4:53 PM
I keep changing my role color bc I wanna be special uwu
It's a predatory mindset of entitlement, Maddie(edited)
MaddieToday at 4:53 PM
The definition of the word begs to differ
Asking an adult for something is not predatory
Admin BaileyToday at 4:55 PM

Admin LorasToday at 4:55 PM
You conveniently failed to address that "seeking to oppress" is part of the definition of predatory, and by cornering a person they read as a femme and asking for nudes, then becoming hostile or coercive when told no, is by that very definition predatory.
Admin BaileyToday at 4:55 PM
Definition number 2
Is what we are referring to
MaddieToday at 4:55 PM
They arent exploiting you though
Admin LorasToday at 4:55 PM
Oh my Christ
MaddieToday at 4:56 PM
They cant
They have no power over you
Admin LorasToday at 4:56 PM
Primal Hunters aren't exploiting or oppressing anyone either, but another word for Primal Hunters in the BDSM community is predators.
So there are different definitions
The fact of the matter is
If I feel cornered, and attacked, by someone stronger, more cunning, or with more power than me, then I am by definition their prey, making them by definition a predator.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
Admin BaileyToday at 4:57 PM
The overlying point being
MaddieToday at 4:57 PM
How can they have power over you if you can choose to block them
Admin BaileyToday at 4:57 PM
Everyone's experiences are different.
And you coming in here and invalidating someone because you think their view of the world is wrong based on the simple fact that it differs from yours is....just no.
❤
3
MaddieToday at 4:59 PM
Im not invalidating anyone im simply saying someone who has no power of modship in a server has no way to get you to give up something unless you choose to do so, and you always have the ability to block anyone you see fit.
Admin LorasToday at 5:00 PM
The thing about that is, you don't really get to say you are or aren't invalidating someone. Even if you did not intend to, impact>intent.
❤
2
StarGaladinToday at 5:00 PM
Yeah, that's a big thing people tend to forget
Admin LorasToday at 5:00 PM
I think everyone does, we gotta remind each other. Keep each other humble.
❤
2
StarGaladinToday at 5:00 PM
Thank you, Loras
Admin LorasToday at 5:01 PM
:heart:
Of course
StarGaladinToday at 5:01 PM
Just because you don't mean to hurt someone or invalidate them doesn't mean they aren't hurt or invalidated
That said
This ties into the idea @Maddie has presented as well;
MaddieToday at 5:01 PM
What lol
StarGaladinToday at 5:01 PM
Just because someone doesn't mean to be predatory doesn't mean they aren't being predatory
MEE6BOTToday at 5:01 PM
GG @StarGaladin, you just advanced to level 13!
StarGaladinToday at 5:02 PM
The definition isn't "exploiting others"
Admin LorasToday at 5:02 PM
^
StarGaladinToday at 5:02 PM
It's SEEKING to exploit others
Admin LorasToday at 5:02 PM
^
YAS
MaddieToday at 5:02 PM
Getting someones nudes isnt exploiting them
Getting someones nudes when they dont want you to is
And they literally cant
Admin LorasToday at 5:03 PM
Right...which means by consistently coercing me after being told no, they tried getting my nudes against my consent. because coercion NEVER equals consent. So yes, they were predatory.
Admin BaileyToday at 5:03 PM
But
Admin LorasToday at 5:03 PM
Are we done?
Admin BaileyToday at 5:03 PM
The intent is there.
And that is the part you're skipping over.
MaddieToday at 5:05 PM
Unless the person was asking for nudes specifically to somehow blackmail you then again its not predatory.
Admin LorasToday at 5:05 PM
Oh
My
Actual
God
StarGaladinToday at 5:05 PM
.....................................
...
wow
Admin LorasToday at 5:06 PM
ex·ploit
verb
/ikˈsploit/Submit
1.
make full use of and derive benefit from (a resource).
Since we talkin bout definitions up in here
StarGaladinToday at 5:06 PM
i don't think i've read something so incredibly frustrating in weeks
Admin LorasToday at 5:06 PM
How would they NOT be seeking to derive full use and benefit of my nudes
Do you think they were just asking to ask?
no
Literally same Star
It's like talking to a rotating brick wall
I am done here
Tapping out