- original pastebin: http://pastebin.com/zGpsaCX4
- As some people told me straight up when I made this pastebin (http://pastebin.com/zGpsaCX4), everything there felt sincere, except for the part about Style at the end. That's true, everything in that pastebin is candid except for the section regarding Style. The gender and "hating Bloo persona" are the most important aspects of my motives. I initially wrote up a HUGE post about the why and how behind Style. After speaking with some people though, I think it's best that I don't make all the details fully public. I will show the full details to the people I directly wronged (my OST opponents and the other individuals I dragged into this mess along with some other folks I feel should view all the details) because they deserve the explanation the most.
- Skipping a ton of details about the "how" of Style, I'll give a very condensed version of the "why"/motives I had.
- At the end of this summer, I was going to step down as Bloo and I've told various people this before. There are real life reasons for it, but aside from that I didn't want to be under the name Bloo anymore. I wanted to let go of Bloo and all of the responsibilities/obligations/images associated with the name. As I said before, only I will be able to fully understand why, so I won't bother trying to explain. Moving on, I still had a desire to continue playing tournaments because I've grown extremely attached to Pokemon over the years and still desired the fix I got from playing. I just didn't want to do it under Bloo. I wanted to have a new persona, one that I always wish I originally started out with, and that was what Style embodied: a girl that plays Pokemon. That's where my gender comes into play into my motives and why I mentioned it in my pastebin. I had plans on moving to a new home in the coming year, so the long term goal was to take over Style completely for myself when I moved locations. Since I would be moving locations, I wouldn't have to worry about any IP nonsense under my new home and wouldn't need anyone to help me cloak it.
- Before moving and taking full control over the name, I wanted the Style account to be known on Smogon to make it easier to ease into the community without spending so much time having to build up the name. After all, it takes a long time to establish yourself on here. I basically wanted to speed up the process and already have something established to work with. One of the quickest ways to do this on Smogon is by winning a big tour, such as OST. After presumably winning OST, the only thing I would do is play in tournaments as that's what I mostly enjoyed. I associated Style with the same circle of friends I was mainly involved with under Bloo. Between winning OST and being associated with that circle, eventually Style would grow a rather large circle of friends on the website and have a much easier time immersing itself into tournaments and being accepted. I'd ultimately be able to participate in the things I never did under Bloo in general and live the girl Pokemon player persona that I've been wanting to while already having established connections/a name because of the OST trophy.
- I didn't realize all of this until very recently because I was blinded completely by my desires, but the irony of everything above is that Style would ultimately be a facade itself. In my pastebin, I said I hated keeping up a facade, yet Style would be a facade itself in certain respects. Even if Style were to win OST, it'd have been illegitimate and a continuation of the same exact facade that I claimed I wanted to let go of under Bloo. So at the end of the day, the motives/way of approaching the situation were ridiculous and it took me a long time to realize that for myself. Mentally I was insane, but the first step in working on fixing that is admitting it.
- With that said, not to appeal to people, but I completely own up to my actions. What I did was really severe and owning up to what I did doesn't change any of that at the end of the day, but that's the most I can do.
- What I did was extremely manipulative, disgusting and an abuse of power. I used my position on this website to make other people my puppets for the sole purpose of satisfying my twisted selfish desires. Subconsciously I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was way too blinded and absorbed by my motives that I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did. It wasn't until recently that I completely realized the extent of my actions and I am here to own up to it all. My actions deserve every form of chastising/reprimanding conceivable and my punishment is 100% deserved. Taking full responsibility for what happened is the right thing to do and it's what I should've done from the beginning instead of having everything evolve into the huge mess that it did.
- With that said, I have personally confronted and spoken to some of the people I wronged and involved with this because it's something I feel is right to do. I still have a few more things to say to some people, and I'll make sure to get that done.
- The last thing I have to say is that my actions are in no way a reflection of of the TD staff/senior staff. They are amazing at what they do and even though I was a part of the team before, what I did shouldn't make people distrust or look down upon them. They are great, it's not easy to do the job they do, and they deserve all the credit in the world for the energy they put into their work. The community has a great administration behind it, even if some of you might disagree.
- That's all. These are all words on a screen at the end of the day, make of it what you will. There's probably still a lot of questions out there that people have, but hopefully this at least answers some of them. ~Sayonara~