[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:12:28 PM] brandbuf: maybe aim works better =p
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:12:44 PM] brandbuf: IVE BEEN HAVING SHITTY CONNECTION ALL DAY
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:13:43 PM] quixoticquails:
Ohh, well that blows.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:13:49 PM] brandbuf: yarp
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:13:59 PM] brandbuf: i want to have a confrence with all the intelligent people we know, and just talk
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:14:21 PM] brandbuf: teachers, friends, everyone and anyone who we know can share philosiphy and conversation intellegently and effectivley
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:15:04 PM] brandbuf: how cool would that be? we could get set up a dinner party at a resturaunt or somethign, and just eat and talk
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:16:45 PM] quixoticquails:
Like a think tank?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:16:48 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:16:53 PM] brandbuf: oh yea
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:16:55 PM] brandbuf: a huge one
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:17:05 PM] quixoticquails:
That could be interesting, if everyone could trade ideas.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:17:25 PM] quixoticquails:
Istead of jumping to defend ideas.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:17:40 PM] brandbuf: yea. a mass gathering of intellegent opinion
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:18:17 PM] brandbuf: i'd have to invite like, 5 teachers from my school, some of them are insanley awesome and are intellegent too
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:18:21 PM] brandbuf: nick would have to be there
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:18:28 PM] brandbuf: maybe gus. i dunno, he's a tad explicit
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:18:42 PM] brandbuf: anyone you could think of bringing?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:18:55 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't have any friends.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:02 PM] brandbuf: you do to
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:05 PM] brandbuf: you could bring gabby
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:14 PM] brandbuf: and nick is your friend
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:20 PM] quixoticquails:
Minus her.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:45 PM] quixoticquails:
She's be someone you could invite yourself.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:52 PM] quixoticquails:
Whihc is why I didn't mention it.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:19:57 PM] brandbuf: arent you cool with chris?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:20:02 PM] brandbuf: chris is your friend =p
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:20:17 PM] quixoticquails:
He's really not.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:20:34 PM] quixoticquails:
There is a difference between friends and aquantances.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:20:43 PM] quixoticquails:
You should learn it sometime.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:20:47 PM] brandbuf: well you have a lot of aquatences
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:20:54 PM] brandbuf: lulz
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:21:00 PM] brandbuf: aquantances
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:21:17 PM] quixoticquails:
I may have spelled that wrong myself, lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:21:39 PM] brandbuf: well, besides that, what're ya up to?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:18 PM] quixoticquails:
Besides spelling things wrong?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:23 PM] brandbuf: ys
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:27 PM] quixoticquails:
On Myspace.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:30 PM] brandbuf: ya*
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:31 PM] quixoticquails:
You?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:44 PM] brandbuf: hmmm trying to feel better. i have a pain in my throat
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:22:50 PM] brandbuf: ill be better before the weekend though
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:23:15 PM] brandbuf: you know, the more and more i want to see you, the more and more it feels like im trying to trap you and put you in an awkard place that you are not comfertable at
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:24:34 PM] quixoticquails:
?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:24:38 PM] quixoticquails:
How so.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:25:15 PM] brandbuf: i somehow sense resistence on your end. maybe im being mislead, but i dunno how you feel about being in a house as chaotic as mine sometimes =p
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:25:38 PM] brandbuf: youve been with gabby and the awesome family for so long i dun know how it affects your impression
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:26:07 PM] quixoticquails:
Talk to Gabby lately?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:26:13 PM] brandbuf: yea
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:26:23 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't know, I just don't think this is going to work.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:26:34 PM] brandbuf: i hate it when you say that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:26:53 PM] brandbuf: we've come so far already
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:27:36 PM] quixoticquails:
I've been having nightmares, I don't feel good, I can't force myself to go to you're house.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:27:43 PM] brandbuf: i had a nightmare too
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:27:59 PM] brandbuf: and i know
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:06 PM] quixoticquails:
We don't talk and when we do I'm too pissed to make conversation and it's just all messy and ugly.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:16 PM] brandbuf: and i dont want to force you either. and i dont want you to come if it makes you uncomfertable
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:24 PM] quixoticquails:
I know you know because Gabby told you, and that's all just great.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:34 PM] brandbuf: umm
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:35 PM] brandbuf: wait
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:42 PM] brandbuf: no she didnt tell me anything like that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:28:53 PM] brandbuf: im making assumptions. and im not covering for her either
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:29:00 PM] quixoticquails:
Yeha, sure.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:29:10 PM] brandbuf: go ahead, she never told me anything. i swear to god.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:29:19 PM] quixoticquails:
Sure.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:29:30 PM] brandbuf: last thing we talked about was her anxiety issues
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:29:43 PM] brandbuf: and how she was getting a new phone, and how she drinks to much coffee
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:29:52 PM] brandbuf: you can even ask her. i would'nt lie to you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:30:01 PM] quixoticquails:
Well that's good.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:30:27 PM] quixoticquails:
But yeah, no, I feel ike I'm in a wolves den in your house, where the wolves all wear funny clown masks.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:31:03 PM] brandbuf: im not going to lie and say i dont feel a bit awkward when your over in front of my family
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:31:12 PM] brandbuf: because everyone here is out of it man
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:31:17 PM] brandbuf: we need a better place to go to
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:31:43 PM] brandbuf: want to try and set it up to stay at nicks for a weekend like we had planned before?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:33:29 PM] quixoticquails:
Or because everyone has some suspicion I'm some fucking bad guy?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:33:44 PM] brandbuf: i dont know if that is the suspicion
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:34:11 PM] brandbuf: i think its that everyone is truley out of it. we have been living with a disease for about almost 4 years. literally
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:34:21 PM] brandbuf: cancer fucks people up. bad
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:34:46 PM] brandbuf: i have to deal with it too. i feel hate somewhere, even though its unwarented.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:35:13 PM] brandbuf: my brothers dont think your a bad guy
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:35:24 PM] brandbuf: even though your not a guy -.-
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:35:30 PM] brandbuf: i would hope your not a guy
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:37:23 PM] quixoticquails:
Not everything has to be literal.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:37:32 PM] brandbuf: i know
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:37:38 PM] brandbuf: i was trying to lighten the mood
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:37:53 PM] brandbuf: bad timing i suppose
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:38:04 PM] quixoticquails:
Well, I have a lot different view on cancer and that than you all do.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:38:14 PM] quixoticquails:
And I'm sure it's hard on everyone.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:38:33 PM] quixoticquails:
But it's also something unghealthy for me to be involved with.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:38:51 PM] quixoticquails:
I never considered what it would be like beforehand.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:39:06 PM] quixoticquails:
Or that I wasn't stable enough to have a relationship.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:39:11 PM] quixoticquails:
Which I'm not.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:39:20 PM] quixoticquails:
If I ahd a plant right now, it would die.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:40:19 PM] brandbuf: so thats it then. you want to end it right here?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:40:49 PM] brandbuf: im not sure what the hell im supposed to do
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:08 PM] brandbuf: this feels like one of those times were we just need to think....
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:27 PM] brandbuf: i dunno
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:24 PM] brandbuf: or maybe im just an idiot
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:29 PM] brandbuf: i dont
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:31 PM] brandbuf: have
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:32 PM] brandbuf: a
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:33 PM] brandbuf: fucking
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:34 PM] brandbuf: clue
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:41:39 PM] quixoticquails:
Okay, we can just think on it if you want.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:42:02 PM] quixoticquails:
Becasue I really hate to do this to you, but you yourself have to admit these complications are ridiculous.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:42:14 PM] brandbuf: without a doubt they are
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:42:37 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:42:46 PM] brandbuf: i've seen my way through harder problems though
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:42:54 PM] quixoticquails:
Ones that end.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:43:09 PM] quixoticquails:
These will just have be tolerated over and over and over.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:43:14 PM] quixoticquails:
For a long time.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:43:19 PM] brandbuf: not if i have my own space
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:43:24 PM] quixoticquails:
You don't.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:43:43 PM] brandbuf: i can work towards it thouhg...
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:44:25 PM] brandbuf: this is a loose loose situation
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:44:37 PM] quixoticquails:
You don't need any more pressure .

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:44:44 PM] quixoticquails:
Yes it is.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:44:45 PM] quixoticquails:
:?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:44:50 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:45:11 PM] brandbuf: is there anyone else in your life you would consider being with?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:45:16 PM] brandbuf: anyone at all?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:46:18 PM] quixoticquails:
No.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:46:23 PM] quixoticquails:
Not right now.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:46:42 PM] brandbuf: me neither
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:46:50 PM] brandbuf: thats why im mixed on this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:47:01 PM] brandbuf: im definetly upset, but im not worried, for some reason
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:47:43 PM] quixoticquails:
I'm sorry.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:48:24 PM] quixoticquails:
There's nothing wrong with being alone though.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:48:45 PM] brandbuf: well isnt that a fine paradox
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:48:58 PM] quixoticquails:
?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:49:22 PM] brandbuf: ive been alone practically my whole life. these fake "relationships" ive been in werent anything
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:49:50 PM] brandbuf: what about you? do you consider the bonds youve had with other people really put you in the category "not alone"??
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:08 PM] quixoticquails:
Well being in any

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:10 PM] quixoticquails:
relationship

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:11 PM] quixoticquails:
p

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:13 PM] quixoticquails:
uts som

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:13 PM] quixoticquails:
eo

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:14 PM] quixoticquails:
ne

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:19 PM] quixoticquails:
Dammit.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:22 PM] quixoticquails:
Sorrry/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:51:24 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:52:29 PM] quixoticquails:
any*

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:53:31 PM] brandbuf: whatever you just said didnt come through for some reason
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:53:37 PM] brandbuf: sorry
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:53:42 PM] brandbuf: this is pathetic
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:53:55 PM] brandbuf: we are trying to have a heart to heart here, and we are doing it through AIM
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:54:48 PM] quixoticquails:
I said being in any relationship qualifies someone as not alone.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:55:09 PM] brandbuf: i dont belive that.... you can be in a relationship, and not feel anything
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:55:23 PM] brandbuf: just like everything ive ever been in before. i never felt a thing
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:55:44 PM] brandbuf: i mean, you know everything about me. ive never told anyone else as much about me as i have you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:56:36 PM] brandbuf: as much as a side of me wants to let this pessimism take over and go 'there is no way to resolve these issues, just let it go, she doesnt want this anymore', im to stuborn to do that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:57:02 PM] brandbuf: im to stuborn to break down, cry, and let a bad situation turn worse
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:57:40 PM] quixoticquails:
I know, and I'll always keep those things safe.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:58:25 PM] quixoticquails:
We can alawys be close, and who knows, if this really is as special as we think we can always start again when things get better if we stay  close.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:58:53 PM] brandbuf: i dont want it to end like this though
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:58:59 PM] brandbuf: through a fucking computer
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:59:36 PM] brandbuf: and im egotistical and selfish. i dont want the chance to arrive that someone else will come along...
[Tue Jan 5 2010 02:59:55 PM] brandbuf: i swear to god ill make it awful, ill fight the guy, get my ass beat, i dont care =p
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:00:11 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:00:17 PM] quixoticquails:
Trust me.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:00:33 PM] quixoticquails:
I highly doubt there's going to be anyone else, for like a million years.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:01:01 PM] brandbuf: thats the same thing i thought when i fist liked you. not in a million years. just keep on going jake, keep thinking what you are now
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:01:25 PM] brandbuf: i've told you before. i had myself convinced i was meant to be alone
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:01:38 PM] brandbuf: so i made other things in my life more pressing
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:01:48 PM] brandbuf: im coming to either an epiphany, or a conclusion
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:02:04 PM] brandbuf: they both kind of seem like the same thing sometimes
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:02:18 PM] brandbuf: i cant help the moods you get into sometimes
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:02:43 PM] brandbuf: sometimes you have no problems coming over here, sometimes your crazy excited, sometimes you get like this. you want to end it, you want to give up and wait for better
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:03:01 PM] brandbuf: maybe we should just play it by ear for now
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:03:40 PM] brandbuf: im not going to get my hopes up and think you will want to come see me on the weekend, or whatever.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:03:57 PM] quixoticquails:
You had an idea.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:03:59 PM] quixoticquails:
LOL.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:04:07 PM] quixoticquails:
That's what it's called.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:04:51 PM] brandbuf: i really think we are just at a bad rough spot right now
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:05:01 PM] brandbuf: we can figure this out. we dont need to get pessimstic about it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:05:19 PM] brandbuf: they only way we cant is if we keep telling ourselves we cant
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:05:27 PM] brandbuf: there is a solution to EVERY problem
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:05:54 PM] quixoticquails:
Well I really don't think there is.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:05:57 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:06:12 PM] quixoticquails:
And sometimes it's just too much workl.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:06:25 PM] brandbuf: and what happens when we work to much? we take breaks
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:06:53 PM] brandbuf: what am i supposed to do with these gifts?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:06:58 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:07:09 PM] quixoticquails:
I specifically told you not to buy me anything.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:07:21 PM] brandbuf: and my mom specificly doesnt listen to anything that anyone tells her
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:07:30 PM] quixoticquails:
But not work with an l we don't! LOL

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:08:14 PM] quixoticquails:
Well she might want to learn to?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:08:18 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:08:45 PM] brandbuf: i should have just kept my big mouth shut and kept my suspicions to myslef
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:08:49 PM] brandbuf: maybe we could have avoided this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:09:14 PM] brandbuf: gabby is a real good lier, you know? she said you never talk to her about me with anything
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:09:23 PM] brandbuf: that all she knows is that i draw and stuff
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:09:59 PM] quixoticquails:
Yeah, she's good at a lot of things.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:10:20 PM] quixoticquails:
It was bound to come up sometime.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:10:29 PM] brandbuf: it was
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:10:34 PM] brandbuf: but im not worried
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:10:47 PM] brandbuf: im really not. im not scared, nor as upset as i think i should be
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:10:53 PM] brandbuf: im a bit shakey, but thats about it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:11:23 PM] brandbuf: this isnt supposed to end here. i know that. we can say what we have to say now, but something else is going to happen anyways
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:11:37 PM] brandbuf: i just know. i know and i dont know what i know, but i do know
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:11 PM] brandbuf: why* not waht
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:30 PM] quixoticquails:
Well we can feel it out and see.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:36 PM] quixoticquails:
If I change my tune.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:45 PM] brandbuf: its the winter
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:48 PM] brandbuf: its the cold
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:51 PM] brandbuf: it really depresses you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:12:57 PM] brandbuf: REALLY depresses you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:13:10 PM] quixoticquails:
But I'll admit the only time I was crazy excited was when I didn't know how things were at your house.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:13:32 PM] quixoticquails:
Even since I've been anxious every time.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:13:42 PM] quixoticquails:
It is, and it does.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:13:49 PM] quixoticquails:
And I need to move.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:13:57 PM] quixoticquails:
I hate being trapped in the house all day.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:05 PM] quixoticquails:
And not having any friends.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:13 PM] brandbuf: how are you going to move with no money and no job?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:28 PM] quixoticquails:
I'm going to hitchike.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:29 PM] quixoticquails:
:-D

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:34 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:43 PM] brandbuf: and be a beager?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:49 PM] quixoticquails:
Naw.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:14:56 PM] quixoticquails:
And eat out of trash cans.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:00 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:04 PM] brandbuf: =/
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:17 PM] brandbuf: thats the most Ill thought plan i have ever heard from you. im suprised
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:26 PM] brandbuf: youve got to have a better plan then that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:30 PM] quixoticquails:
Hahah, I'm nto going to right now.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:49 PM] quixoticquails:
I was just saying how evetually I have to stop living here.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:15:59 PM] quixoticquails:
Because it's a pain.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:16:09 PM] brandbuf: what am i getting worked up for your going to college
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:16:21 PM] brandbuf: your going to be here for another few years anyways
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:16:22 PM] quixoticquails:
Durh.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:16:32 PM] quixoticquails:
I have to sty here for a while.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:17:01 PM] brandbuf: i think wherever you go, when you do, ill be going with you. can we make that promise at least?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:17:17 PM] brandbuf: its not going to be for a while
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:17:28 PM] brandbuf: but i think its going to happen
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:17:40 PM] quixoticquails:
Nooo, we can't!

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:17:47 PM] brandbuf: why not?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:17:57 PM] quixoticquails:
You have your own path to find.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:18:08 PM] quixoticquails:
You want to do things a lot different than I do.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:18:11 PM] brandbuf: your on that path love
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:18:22 PM] brandbuf: i can still do things differently
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:18:41 PM] brandbuf: have you ever once forced me to stop eating meat? or threw me into a dumpster and say dig?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:19:08 PM] brandbuf: your trying to get somewhere warm, im trying to get somewhere new
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:19:23 PM] brandbuf: we cant do it right now
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:19:25 PM] brandbuf: but we will
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:19:43 PM] quixoticquails:
That's too big of a promise to make.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:19:52 PM] quixoticquails:
But if someday we do, we do.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:10 PM] brandbuf: well i am at least keeping it as an idea
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:13 PM] brandbuf: a strong one
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:18 PM] brandbuf: and i think it will take action
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:27 PM] brandbuf: i know things will get better when this winter is over
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:36 PM] brandbuf: this has been the most depressing winter i have ever had
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:45 PM] quixoticquails:
Same here.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:20:55 PM] quixoticquails:
All I do is play video gamess all day.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:01 PM] brandbuf: we need a reason to get outside
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:10 PM] brandbuf: and we cant with this cold
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:11 PM] quixoticquails:
There is nothing outside.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:16 PM] quixoticquails:
Just snow.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:21 PM] quixoticquails:
And wind and crap.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:42 PM] brandbuf: i dont think we would even have these problems if it was the winter of 09.10
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:21:54 PM] brandbuf: i dont hate winter, i just hate this one
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:22:08 PM] brandbuf: its snowed and snowed and snowed and we havent gotten free from school
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:22:11 PM] brandbuf: or anything else
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:22:31 PM] brandbuf: do you think things might be better if it wasnt winter?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:22:40 PM] brandbuf: i want to sleep under the stars
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:22:49 PM] brandbuf: i want to play in the woods
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:23:20 PM] quixoticquails:
It would be better if it wasn't winter.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:23:32 PM] quixoticquails:
I could even take winter if I had a group of friends.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:23:35 PM] quixoticquails:
Gah.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:24:31 PM] brandbuf: dont end this yet
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:24:36 PM] brandbuf: please
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:24:39 PM] brandbuf: just give it time
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:24:58 PM] brandbuf: at least not over some homo computer
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:27:21 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol, well, it's not like we hav e much of a choice.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:27:37 PM] quixoticquails:
I'll just have your mom drive you over here so you can say bye?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:27:43 PM] quixoticquails:
I mean, reallyy.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:28:00 PM] brandbuf: you know, gabby said i could come and see you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:28:54 PM] brandbuf: what if i came and seen you this weekend?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:28:54 PM] quixoticquails: An unknown error occurred (error 401).
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:29:22 PM] brandbuf: FUCK YOU SUPID ASS COMPUTER AND YOUR 401 ERROR
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:29:57 PM] quixoticquails:
Ah,that's good.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:30:12 PM] brandbuf: thats good?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:31:13 PM] brandbuf: better than saying lets forget this...
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:31:51 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol, well maybe you could come over here.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:32:02 PM] brandbuf: yeeessss
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:32:15 PM] brandbuf: you dont need to be here everytime i want to see you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:32:18 PM] brandbuf: i agree
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:32:21 PM] brandbuf: its total bullshit
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:32:21 PM] quixoticquails: quixoticquails is unable to receive offline IMs.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:33:23 PM] quixoticquails:
Not that there's much to do here.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:33:36 PM] quixoticquails:
We can look into that, but don't get any hopes up.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:33:38 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:34:03 PM] brandbuf: its better than just giving up
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:34:25 PM] brandbuf: i could squat in the woods by your house or something. i got really nice winter stuff for christmas, the cold wont hurt me
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:13 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol, oh no.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:17 PM] quixoticquails:
You could do that.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:18 PM] brandbuf: yessss
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:24 PM] quixoticquails:
I forgot you can't sleep over.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:31 PM] quixoticquails:
That won't work at all.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:48 PM] brandbuf: yes it will
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:36:54 PM] brandbuf: i can pass out under a tree
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:37:02 PM] brandbuf: as long as i have my jacket and all that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:38:11 PM] quixoticquails:
No, you're not doing that.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:38:16 PM] quixoticquails:
I said so.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:38:25 PM] quixoticquails:
>:-(

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:38:41 PM] quixoticquails:
>:o

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:38:43 PM] quixoticquails:
*

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:39:30 PM] brandbuf: a lot of good you saying that does. hey madeline, stop being depressed, people love you, not everyone hates tou, your better than this, and you dont have reason to feel like you do
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:39:32 PM] brandbuf: cause i said so
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:39:37 PM] brandbuf: DX
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:39:57 PM] brandbuf: im commanding you not to give up
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:40:01 PM] brandbuf: DX
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:40:16 PM] brandbuf: ill still sleep under that damned tree if i have to =p
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:41:14 PM] brandbuf: cause im a diobediant little bastard
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:41:50 PM] quixoticquails:
Well you can't come overr.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:41:51 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:42:17 PM] brandbuf: nuh uh thats not true gabby said i could
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:42:33 PM] brandbuf: can we go to nick's for a weekend?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:42:50 PM] brandbuf: what about that? there is nobody who is 'suposedly' thinking your a bad person there
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:44:36 PM] quixoticquails:
Well :P

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:44:57 PM] quixoticquails:
Blah, okay, how about we go with noone who talk shit about me behind my back,

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:45:03 PM] quixoticquails:
You like that one better?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:45:20 PM] brandbuf: im telling you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:45:30 PM] brandbuf: the only shit my mom has talked, is why the hell hasnt she come over
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:46:07 PM] brandbuf: she was mad that you didnt spend any of the holiday with me. i told her to chill out but she kept saying like 'it seems like shes trying to distance herself from you'
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:47:04 PM] quixoticquails:
Well I'm really sick of walking on eggshells with her and your whole family.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:47:11 PM] quixoticquails:
Wheather she has cancer or not.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:47:31 PM] brandbuf: well your doing it for no reason, it would seem. nobody over here hates you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:47:37 PM] quixoticquails:
If I had cancer I would make it a goddamn excuse for everything, death is natural and on and on.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:47:44 PM] quixoticquails:
Okay nobody does.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:47:52 PM] quixoticquails:
But I'm still walking oneggshells.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:48:08 PM] brandbuf: then you should stop.... its stupid, you dont need to do it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:48:36 PM] brandbuf: i think you need to actually talk to everyone here
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:48:51 PM] brandbuf: the way i see it, you try your best to avoid interaction with everyone
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:48:57 PM] brandbuf: when in truth everyone wants to see you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:49:19 PM] brandbuf: thats all anyone says. why dosesnt she hang out with us all downstairs? why doesnt she really want to talk
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:49:26 PM] quixoticquails:
No I don't avoid interaction, nobudy wants to fucking talk to me besides Nick.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:49:34 PM] brandbuf: thats not true
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:49:36 PM] quixoticquails:
And you know god forbid I get to close to Nick.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:49:47 PM] brandbuf: no you can talk to nick all you want
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:50:05 PM] brandbuf: thats everyone else's superstition
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:50:27 PM] brandbuf: i havent done a good job at establishment...
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:50:55 PM] brandbuf: nick loves talking to you, he wants nothing more than to just talk
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:04 PM] quixoticquails:
I know Nick want to talk, tom e.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:07 PM] quixoticquails:
I'm not an idiot.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:13 PM] quixoticquails:
We talk all day.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:27 PM] brandbuf: he was going to draw a picture of me and you as a suprise, for us...
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:32 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:36 PM] quixoticquails:
But yes.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:51:59 PM] quixoticquails:
I know he likes talking to me, but god forbid we have everyone in your house looking at his fucking cell phone.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:52:19 PM] quixoticquails:
'Cause who the hell know what going on!

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:52:24 PM] quixoticquails:
Phone sex right?!?!

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:52:29 PM] brandbuf: so i tell them to fuck off and chill out
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:52:37 PM] quixoticquails:
Well I'm sick of it.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:52:40 PM] quixoticquails:
All of it.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:52:59 PM] brandbuf: well then im going to take care of it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:53:22 PM] brandbuf: im getting nick, paul, gus, mom, and me, and we are sitting down and talking. im taking care of this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:53:46 PM] quixoticquails:
No.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:54:08 PM] quixoticquails:
Let them do whatewver the hell they want, why should everyone go off changing everything for me?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:54:14 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't want them to.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:54:34 PM] brandbuf: why not? what is the worst that can happen? i know, the people who 'talk shit' will actually start talking shit? and then your worries will be warented
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:55:00 PM] brandbuf: nobody would be changing anything
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:55:14 PM] brandbuf: you need to stop thinking your not worth it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:55:17 PM] quixoticquails:
Well I can't fucking handle it?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:55:27 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't know why yo don't understandf that?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:55:48 PM] quixoticquails:
And your an asshole because your mom was of talking shit about me when we went to Nicks so just fuck off.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:56:01 PM] brandbuf: i didnt know this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:56:12 PM] brandbuf: wait
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:56:13 PM] brandbuf: nevermind
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:56:13 PM] quixoticquails:
You're the one that told me!

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:56:22 PM] brandbuf: sorry i was thining of something else
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:56:59 PM] quixoticquails:
And if everyone else mad e and effort to eniciate conversation with me I would talk, I don't have a goddamn fucking thing to say.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:57:37 PM] quixoticquails:
So you like to disregardall my fucking concern like they don't exsist.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:57:42 PM] quixoticquails:
Whatever.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:57:55 PM] brandbuf: this is healthy. we are finally having an argument. phew
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:58:13 PM] brandbuf: im not being sarcastic either
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:58:26 PM] brandbuf: if something like this didnt happen sooner or later, then something is terrible wrong
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:58:48 PM] brandbuf: im trying to think of what im going to say next
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:59:13 PM] brandbuf: i dont disregard your concerns... i just dont understand them
[Tue Jan 5 2010 03:59:41 PM] quixoticquails:
God, an d you all way have to know hat's right and wrong an d plan shit out, dud it's fucking life, life is fucking erratic, if we didn't fight for a whole year we'd still be fine.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:00:00 PM] quixoticquails:
Oh yes.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:00:44 PM] brandbuf: im not smart enough to let things flow eraticly, i have to plan things out. its stupid, i know
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:01:50 PM] quixoticquails:
Yaou wouldn't understand going to someones house after their whole family hated you, and then everyone treats you like a stranger and wonders about you and their friend, and says mean things about you being vegan and not coming over and god knows whatever else you do wrong to piss them off.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:02:35 PM] quixoticquails:
I honestly, don't care to talk about it with you anymore, you don't want to see it that's fine and dandy.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:03:36 PM] brandbuf: im thinking
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:04:04 PM] quixoticquails:
Just don't.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:04:15 PM] quixoticquails:
You don't undrstand, then you don't.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:04:42 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't care, but if you can even understand then you should probably know there's no way this is going to work.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:06:15 PM] brandbuf: well i cant understand without knowing everything. and shame on me for having pissing you off and having you spell it out for me. i mean, im not allowed to say 'oh shit i understand now', because you'd never belive that. it would sound hollow and uncertain.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:07:04 PM] quixoticquails:
You act like what's going on isn;t obvious.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:07:21 PM] brandbuf: its because i tried reading into it to much
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:07:28 PM] brandbuf: when its a lot simpler than that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:07:35 PM] brandbuf: im sorry
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:08:53 PM] brandbuf: im choosing my next words carfully
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:10:17 PM] brandbuf: no. as a matter of fact. im not going to have next words. im sorry is really all i can say. i understand now and im sorry
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:11:14 PM] quixoticquails:
It's not your fault.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:11:21 PM] quixoticquails:
It's just the way things are.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:11:29 PM] quixoticquails:
At your house.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:11:49 PM] quixoticquails:
No one is in a position to welcome me, and I'm not strong enough to wedge my way in right now.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:12:02 PM] brandbuf: yea
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:12:31 PM] quixoticquails:
So maybe someday when I'm in a better palce, I'll fight off all the drama and shit.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:12:38 PM] quixoticquails:
Until then.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:13:29 PM] brandbuf: so im not supposed to do anything
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:13:41 PM] brandbuf: its my life too....
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:13:57 PM] brandbuf: ive never been one to sit idle
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:14:18 PM] quixoticquails:
Well if it was a problem with you.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:14:28 PM] quixoticquails:
Then you would be at liberty to do something.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:14:36 PM] quixoticquails:
But this isn't about you.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:14:41 PM] quixoticquails:
:/

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:14:58 PM] brandbuf: it doesnt have to be a problem about me for me to help solve it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:15:25 PM] brandbuf: hiding away and waiting for shit to get better is going to prolong the problem. its just like when i waited and waited to say something about me liking you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:15:38 PM] brandbuf: i finally did it, and things got a little better
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:16:07 PM] brandbuf: everyone has to put their hand in and try though
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:16:19 PM] brandbuf: including the members of my house
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:16:35 PM] brandbuf: and they arent going to do that if they are being ignorant
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:17:01 PM] quixoticquails:
They arent in any posititon to accomodate me.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:17:10 PM] quixoticquails:
Thye have a lot of troubles already.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:17:19 PM] quixoticquails:
So we should just give it time to cool off.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:17:45 PM] brandbuf: well aint that a bitch? this is a fine mess you and my family have got on your hands then
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:18:11 PM] brandbuf: because its only pissing them off more when you dont show up, and it pisses you off when you are forced into the awkward position of being here
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:18:32 PM] quixoticquails:
Well that's why we should just end it, it's not going to work.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:18:46 PM] brandbuf: that'll just piss more people off
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:19:06 PM] quixoticquails:
Well obviously I'm in position where I don't give a shit.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:19:33 PM] quixoticquails:
They've troubled me enough, they can f=go off and hate me, because it's unreasonable and I don't care.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:19:50 PM] quixoticquails:
They're not practical.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:19:54 PM] brandbuf: i know
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:20:08 PM] quixoticquails:
So if they hate me it will be unfounded and their own mistake.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:20:14 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't care.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:20:21 PM] quixoticquails:
They're fault for being so blind.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:20:48 PM] brandbuf: thats fucked. so im supposed to let my family ruin something i love
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:21:27 PM] quixoticquails:
They didn't ruin it coley.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:21:50 PM] quixoticquails:
Me and them just don't mesh right now, it's non ones fault, the burden of hate is theirs.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:21:56 PM] quixoticquails:
But the situation isn't.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:22:01 PM] quixoticquails:
soley*

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:22:23 PM] quixoticquails:
You love your family too.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:23:40 PM] brandbuf: you know this is going to get worse before it gets better. im going to say something to them. i cant just keep going 'she doesnt feel like coming over this weekend'
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:24:35 PM] brandbuf: regardless of what happens here, im going to end up in a drastic, stupid, and dramatic battle with them
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:24:52 PM] brandbuf: what would you do iff they reached out to you and wanted to reslove it?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:24:58 PM] quixoticquails:
No.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:25:02 PM] quixoticquails:
They don't.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:25:13 PM] brandbuf: im saying what if they did
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:25:21 PM] quixoticquails:
They just want yo uto be happy and nothing is going to change how they feel towards me.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:25:25 PM] quixoticquails:
Not truely.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:25:33 PM] brandbuf: what if they, for some miraculous reason, wanted you here and wanted to reslove it?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:25:36 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't know!

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:26:00 PM] quixoticquails:
It would still be weird but it would be better.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:26:08 PM] quixoticquails:
But I'm serious.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:26:39 PM] quixoticquails:
I'm not letting you talk to them about it, because regardless I'm in a really gode awful spot in my life right now, and I don't need it.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:26:44 PM] quixoticquails:
I can't take it okay?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:26:50 PM] brandbuf: yea...
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:27:40 PM] brandbuf: then you go on your way for now. dont forget this, and dont forget me. im still going to say i love you every time i talk to you. i dont consider this over yet.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:28:15 PM] brandbuf: i know your telling me not to. you know damn well im going to interfere. it cant be helped
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:28:40 PM] quixoticquails:
Please don't, they'll only hate me more then and you know it.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:29:01 PM] brandbuf: you cant hate someone more or less. hate is the absolute, just as love is
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:29:11 PM] quixoticquails:
Your mom will say it's all bullshit and that I'm just an asshole, and oh blah blah I didn't really like you anyway.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:29:38 PM] quixoticquails:
Whatever, do what you want.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:29:49 PM] quixoticquails:
I'll do what I want, we'll always be friends.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:30:22 PM] brandbuf: this is bullshit.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:31:02 PM] brandbuf: i dont know what the fuck i did wrong. i dont know if it was when i was growing up, or if it was recent
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:31:14 PM] brandbuf: i dont know what the fuck i did to NEVER be happy for a good 5 minutes
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:32:31 PM] brandbuf: ive heard that shit from every other girl ive talked to. 'well always be friends'. it gets old. im not going to stop loving you. im angry now. im not angry at you. i never could be. but this is bullshit
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:32:33 PM] brandbuf: FUCKING
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:32:35 PM] brandbuf: BULLSHIT
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:33:29 PM] brandbuf: even if its not my probelm, it still fucking affecting me
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:34:07 PM] quixoticquails:
I know that.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:34:22 PM] quixoticquails:
And we should have rushed into thing, we should have felt things out.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:34:35 PM] quixoticquails:
But instead we jumped and made a mess.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:35:03 PM] brandbuf: well then you use the word 'WE' that means us. that means me and you. me. MEEEEEE
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:35:11 PM] brandbuf: IM NOT SUPPOSED TO SIT HERE AND LET THIS SHIT HAPPEND TO ME
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:35:16 PM] brandbuf: ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:35:31 PM] brandbuf: BULLSHIT
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:36:03 PM] brandbuf: when there is a problem in MY life, I sort it out
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:36:59 PM] brandbuf: I finally get MYself into something I love, I find someone that I love, someone that completes ME, and now its getting torn to shit because of some stupid bullshit that presents itself from MY family and MY life
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:38:00 PM] brandbuf: its just as well your problem as it is my problem. and their problem. im from the same fucking blood, and i live in the same fucking dweling
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:38:21 PM] brandbuf: and im supposed to not concern myslef with this issue, and let you fade out until a better time, and let them hate me and you until im gone
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:38:30 PM] brandbuf: FUCK THAT. i am NOT living with that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:39:03 PM] brandbuf: this situation is FUCKING BULLSHIT
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:40:17 PM] brandbuf: you can go ahead and leave, but im still going to have to deal with this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:40:25 PM] brandbuf: even if its not my problem
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:41:05 PM] brandbuf: so even if you dont care if you piss them off, im still going to have to take care of it. just as always, i have to stand by myself and take care of my own wounds
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:41:31 PM] brandbuf: im sorry. im not mad at you. but this is bullshit, no other way to put it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:42:14 PM] quixoticquails:
I'm sure you are angry at me and that's fine.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:42:20 PM] brandbuf: im not angry at you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:42:26 PM] brandbuf: i never was the whole time
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:42:31 PM] brandbuf: i never have been, and im not now
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:42:44 PM] brandbuf: i could have been an asshole and started a huge fight with you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:43:13 PM] brandbuf: i let you call me whatever you want. words like that are harsh, but i know they are not fully meant. anyone else would have flew off the handle at you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:43:35 PM] brandbuf: i'm fucking in love with you, im sorry if thats wrong, im sorry if it pissed you off, im sorry if it hurts you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:43:50 PM] brandbuf: i cant fucking help it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:44:12 PM] brandbuf: i dont have the capicity to feel the way i feel for other people
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:44:25 PM] brandbuf: I just cant do it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:44:40 PM] brandbuf: your in my heart until the day i die
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:45:04 PM] brandbuf: nothing else is going to mean as much as this is. and im sure some other asshole has said it before. its the most fucking retarded repitition ever
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:45:08 PM] brandbuf: but i cant help it
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:45:25 PM] brandbuf: please dont cry, i really hope your not crying
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:45:39 PM] brandbuf: if your crying i might start crying too
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:46:47 PM] brandbuf: im already making a battle plan
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:47:12 PM] brandbuf: its so sad. i know exactly what to say
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:48:42 PM] quixoticquails:
?

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:49:08 PM] brandbuf: curve. dot.
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:49:14 PM] brandbuf: likewise
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:49:58 PM] quixoticquails:
I don't understand what you're trying to get at will all of that.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:50:04 PM] quixoticquails:
with*

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:50:16 PM] brandbuf: its okay, you dont need too
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:50:19 PM] brandbuf: im just really angry
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:50:25 PM] brandbuf: really really angry
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:50:38 PM] brandbuf: and i let my gaurd down, and i fell in love with someone
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:51:17 PM] brandbuf: i did the one thing i told myself i would never do, because i didnt know what it was
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:51:33 PM] brandbuf: and i fucking ignored EVERYTHING i always told myself
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:51:40 PM] brandbuf: and im reaping my rewards
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:52:48 PM] quixoticquails:
It's a part of life.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:53:04 PM] quixoticquails:
everyone has to go through it, you, me, the mailman.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:53:17 PM] brandbuf: the mailman is a fuck mook
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:53:48 PM] brandbuf: am i stupid for still holding hope?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:53:57 PM] brandbuf: even if you say i am im not letting go of this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:54:08 PM] quixoticquails:
Well you're not stupid.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:54:22 PM] quixoticquails:
But after you talk to your family I doubt I'll ever come back.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:54:34 PM] brandbuf: and what if?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:54:41 PM] brandbuf: what if what if what if what if what if what if
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:54:53 PM] brandbuf: 'if.... if is good'
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:55:22 PM] quixoticquails:
Nothing in life is absolute.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:55:46 PM] brandbuf: then what if, love? what if? what the fuck if?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:55:56 PM] brandbuf: what if this works out?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:56:03 PM] brandbuf: what if we all get over this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:56:10 PM] brandbuf: what if i stop wanting to die?
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:56:14 PM] brandbuf: what if what if what if
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:56:18 PM] brandbuf: FUCK
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:56:46 PM] brandbuf: im taking that 'if' and making it work
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:56:53 PM] brandbuf: IM MAKING IT FUCING WORK I PROMISE YOU
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:57:31 PM] brandbuf: if there is ANYTHING else i have said before. ANYTHING
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:57:47 PM] brandbuf: i promise you. im making that fucking queer two letter word into better
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:58:05 PM] brandbuf: im making it into a yes, or an okay, or a sure, or a positive. im not letting it get worse than if
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:58:43 PM] brandbuf: my logic agrees to it. im doing it, and the words no, not, never, incapable, done, gone, down, ANYTHING. they are not stoping me
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:58:50 PM] brandbuf: im sorry if im not making sense
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:59:02 PM] brandbuf: RIGHT THERE IF
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:59:06 PM] brandbuf: so i might be making sense
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:59:12 PM] brandbuf: but i might not
[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:59:31 PM] quixoticquails:
Iguess you don't have to, denial venting is always alright.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 04:59:50 PM] brandbuf: ouuuch that was crule... im not in denial =p
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:00:29 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol, course not, you've found a new gateway to understanding.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:00:38 PM] brandbuf: sure
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:00:40 PM] brandbuf: ill go with that
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:00:50 PM] brandbuf: i speak fluent sarcasm by the way <3
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:01:26 PM] quixoticquails:
:-D

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:01:40 PM] brandbuf: you dont want this to end either. i know you dont
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:02:23 PM] quixoticquails:
On certain levels at least for now, until I fee like I can handle everything.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:02:39 PM] brandbuf: but not all the way. see? you have an IF
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:02:43 PM] brandbuf: IF IF IF IF IF IF IF IF
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:02:55 PM] quixoticquails:
I didn't type it.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:03:19 PM] brandbuf: its metaphorical
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:03:20 PM] brandbuf: its there
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:03:23 PM] brandbuf: ITS FUCING THERE
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:03:30 PM] brandbuf: FUCK FUCKASU FUCKSAU FUASKCUAFSLKASDLASFUIASFJSAD
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:03:33 PM] brandbuf: i hate keyboards
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:04:05 PM] quixoticquails:
Yeah thye are dicks.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:04:10 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:04:36 PM] brandbuf: we are still working on this
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:04:50 PM] quixoticquails:
We will, just not right now, because I have to go.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:29 PM] brandbuf: alright....
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:33 PM] brandbuf: dear i say
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:35 PM] brandbuf: i love you
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:43 PM] quixoticquails:
I love you too.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:49 PM] quixoticquails:
It's not like it's gone away.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:52 PM] quixoticquails:
<#

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:05:57 PM] quixoticquails:
<3

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:06:08 PM] brandbuf: <3 FUCKING PATHETIC SYMBOLS
[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:06:16 PM] quixoticquails:
Lol, they're kayboard art.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:06:18 PM] quixoticquails:
:-D

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:06:21 PM] quixoticquails:
Byee.

[Tue Jan 5 2010 05:06:24 PM] brandbuf: bye