Big Brother? More Like One Big Bother

What I have never been able to understand fully is that, why is big brother so popular? I once again find myself sitting in front of the telly and force myself to endure 60 minutes of channel 5’s “Big Brother”. I seriously wish I hadn’t bothered. My original thoughts were confirmed: irritating, pretentious and obnoxious morons masquerading around the dwelling known as “The Big Brother House”. I would rather duke it out with Mike Tyson for 60 minutes and have my ear ripped off than watch another episode of “Big Brother”. If the nation finds the likes of Jedward In a house humorous, I weep for humanity. I really do.
Here is living proof that a large majority of our nation is lacking a brain cell, or two. After all, it is a well known fact that there are more people with a genius IQ in China than there are people in the USA and the UK combined. I for one am not surprised, not in the slightest.
If I look past the generally ridiculous gags and tasks which are feeble attempts at comedy, I can see why the show appeals to people. Non-stop shenanigans from Jedward such as throwing cheap factory made plastic tables and chairs into the swimming pool. I would of course find this funny if I’m either brain dead or have an IQ matching my shoe size.
There is also that strangely attractive yet revolting aspect of drama. The house is basically a giant Petrie dish, a breeding ground for mayhem, conflict and anger which the blood sucking leeches known as the media thrive upon. But it’s not just the media; it’s all you culture vultures that feast upon the misery created in the house. I’m usually not one to complain, after all it is human nature and I do love a bit of drama however when that drama is over someone not doing the washing up, I can’t help but think “What the hell am I doing with my time?”
The “Big Brother House” is comparable to a Kennel; it’s filled with unintelligent mammals that are most likely harboring all sorts of small parasites. The lineup this year for celebrities is nothing but underwhelming and lackluster, this of course comes to no surprise. I’m sure everyone can remember the 2005 celebrity big brother with the highlight being John McCririck, an opinionated right-wing bigot who sounds like his lungs were replaced with chocolate profiteroles rolls. Now it’s 2011, we have a brand new set of worthless lackeys hoping to make a name for themselves on this mockery of a show. We have the sophisticated and clever Amy Childs who is currently trying to cure diseases with her extensive knowledge of human biology. Just kidding, she’s just as moronic as the rest of them if not even more. She fits her role in “The Only Way is Essex” perfectly by demonstrating her lack of brains there frequently. Every time she opens her mouth I want to jam a comically oversized syringe in her eye in order to stop her spewing total garbage.
Let’s not forget the racism controversy in 2007 that can be described as nothing but schoolyard thuggery, three small-minded opinionated prejudiced celebrities’ mocked and harassed contestant “Shilpa Shetty” throughout their time in the house. Aside from the evident racism and bigotry, the worst part about the entire ordeal is the three celebrities in question were apparently oblivious to their actions, which is more saddening than the entire situation. The show received 2500 complaints, which also set a record for the highest complained show. This is not only a disgrace to the contestants, but also a disgrace to the show for allowing such events to happen.

Big Brother might be watching, but I certainly won’t.