A Monika to Remember: you can (not) revise FINAL

I couldn't let it go, I figured there had to be something that she took with her to the tomb that would lead me in some way. And there was.

A letter, and a card. I climbed out of the hole and sat by the ditch, my legs swinging in the air as I read the letter:

"Dear Monika,
It feels strange to be writing this, as we have the same name. It's kind of like I'm writing a time capsule letter! Should I tell you about all my dreams for the future? Or make you remember all the things that happened from this year? So many things to say but,
I better get to the point. You probably skimmed over all that.
Truthfully, if things went our way, you probably would have been my mother. But the world isn't so kind.
Before she died, she managed to write her will. As strong a woman as she was, she only lasted a week after giving birth to me."

'She was the daughter to Marie Alice Tuckket, who suffered maternal death.' I cover my mouth, and read more frantically.

"It only contained two requests. For her possessions to go into my ownership, and a message to be given to you, Monika, should you ever make it into our world. Unfortunately, that never happened, even during my time on this Earth. I only hope you crossover and read this somehow, you deserve that much. Give the card a listen, I'll let her explain everything.
And, did you ever end up seeing that biography they made of me? Must have been kind of freaky huh? But I didn't want it to come out like that, that wasn't my intention. I'll warn you now, I'll just be talking about myself for the rest of the letter so if you don't car-"

I didn't. I set aside the letter and opened the card. It revealed a shaky drawing of me on a beach with a woman, us sitting down on the beach facing the ocean, our backs facing the shot of the drawing. The woman had dark skin, and short hair. Was this my Anon? But I couldn't see her face. Why didn't you draw your face for me? Don't you think I wanted to see that? I didn't care if you were attractive, I never did. You shy fool. You horrible, inconsiderate, unforgivable...

As the music she played for me came from the card, she began to rhyme to the rhythm:

"Yo straight out from a doki doki rap
Where fake niggas don't ever come back

Ahah, I dont know how to start this...

Psyche! Just a fake-out, just an homage
To one of the greatest alive, for that I say soz
See I always figured you should see me at my best
See, you showed me how to kick it when life gave me a test
Not in this bed, where no religion can get me be blessed
So stressed, that I never got to play you with my charm
I confess, I lost you to a home robbery with firearms
Took everything I had and everything with worth
They even took you, my girl but little did they learned

Growing up in the projects was a straight-up bitch,
Got youngins reaching for a claim of fame to they name
But for a bitch it means to act like a dame

That was my M.O till you came from the game
Streets was real but anime was my crux
Internet and it's groups, where I ended up stuck
While I was on the street givin some guy the suck

Inevitable for me to meet and greet you
Fate it was to fall for you
Because truly, no one gave me the words I read from your lips,
And then you became my everything, you were in the coffee that I sip,
The stories that I would ship,
When lack of you would cause me to flip
And in the guilt for when I had to go strip

So losing you was a horrible torch to bear
A copy would mean nothing when she sat there and glared
So I just had to mope, and cope with a promise to swear
That you would make it here with a thought and a prayer

But then I hit forty, and with my clock ticking
My hollow stomach needed a tiny baby kicking
I was wishing, bidding for the perfect man, perfect seed
For a guy with auburn hair and eyes coloured green"

The song ended, but I could still hear her heavy, shallow breath.

"I hope you can forgive me for doing something like this. I know I'm crazy, but I just needed you to be in this world. Even if it was my child, embedded hopefully, with your lovely spirit. Honey, you would have changed the world. Like you did mine, you could have touched many more. As you are now, I know you did just that.
And don't worry! Artificial insemination, no way anybody but you is touching this cooch! Hee-heeeeee! *cough* Ugh...sorry. I'm getting tired. I'll let you know one thing though,
when you talked to me once about rap? That's when I knew for sure I loved you. I felt validated, you know? Girl rappers have always been kicking it, sure, but it's when my little interest was actually something you would have appreciated? And when that meant the world to me? Baby, that's when I knew.
Anyways, I better get to restin' before the doctor whips me one good for staying up so long. I love you sugar, bye!"

I heard her give me a little smooch sound before the card went dead silent. It began to rain ever so lightly, like the downfall was brushing my face, touching it up so no one would have to see it's true state. It was cleansing, like a shower. I didn't want to get up, so I covered those precious items with my body and I stared up at the grey sky.

----------------------------------------------------------

I eventually got up. Before it became night I needed to finish my daughter's letter, if only out of respect.

"I'll warn you now, I'll just be talking about myself for the rest of the letter so if you don't care, just forget about it. I will confide in you, I did listen to her message to you. I do wonder though, why she never gave you her name, and instead called herself Anon. Maybe that's how she found herself to be called in the universe of games and the internet, I'll never know. She lived quite the life, but you seemed to be the thing that let her bear it. Where you came from was probably as important to her as the air she breathed. So, I ended up playing Doki Doki Liturature Club! I gotta say, you are quite the character, I'm not surprised my mom was smitten enough to name me after you. Still, it was uncanny comparing my looks to yours. It was like looking in a mirror. I figured it had to be a sign, right?
I dissected your character, all your likes and dislikes, and I imagined the life you would have liked to live, if you ever made it out of high school. And then I lived it, I made it all happen, despite the changing turbulent times. Don't feel bad, it was something I felt compelled to do.
With my mom dead, with her dream also being taken to her grave, I couldn't just live a life for myself. It felt like I had her death on my shoulders, and I needed to at least carry out her wish. And not just her will, what she wanted from my life too. For me to be "embedded in your spirit". So I did just that.
I was happy to have lived life like this. Do you think mom's happy while she's watching over me? I sure hope so. Are you happy? I truly do consider you my mother too, so your approval would certainly mean a lot!

With Everlasting Love,
Monika"

A death on your shoulders, huh? A grim smile ends up on my face with those words. It's amazing what a mother can learn from their daughter. We share a similar feeling, of carrying a cross and trying to live a life so as to avoid crucifixion. My hunt for Anon has made me forget that a little. I may not have Anon, but I still have this life to lead. The many people and steed that I had to sacrifice for this knowledge, I must live for them now. I wish to reach them in the afterlife and they can be proud of what I achieved, just as I am proud of my lover to be so resilient and hopeful, and for my daughter to act so selflessly. So I can meet my club members there and be allowed to repent, so we may reenact more peaceful times.

I can't lose my passion now. I need to find another person that is probably struggling as much as me, and help them as much as I can. I need to figure out the mystery of this world and restore it. So that many others can continue to live after I'm long gone, and so that they may learn from the many mistakes that I've made.


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