Jennifur's Guide to Love

This list is what I've learned over many relationships. It isn't the written in the best way, there are some contradictions and it is not a complete list. Its just what I've observed over my relationships


1: Love is not eternal. Don't ask me why. It just isn't. Never was, never will. People change, things change, seasons change. Nothing is forever.

2: Its there. You just have to find it. No, this doesn't mean what your thinking. No. They may have it, they may not. If you try and can't find it, move on. Just move on. Its not there.

3: Don't worry! This is the worst thing you can ever do. Period. Worrying will do nothing but bad things. If it happens it happens. Just make the best of it.

4: Love is not sex, and sex is not love. I can't stress this enough. They are two different things. Completely unrelated to each other. Okay, yeah. I get it that you love someone and you'll eventually have sex. Yes I know, its intimate and personal. I do know it feels good too. It isn't love though. If its just sex its not love. There must be something deeper to it.

5: Love knows no gender, race, or religion. Love is blind. It doesn't care. You care, your preacher cares, your parents care. Love doesn't. It never did and never will.

6: Age. This one is tricky. Age is a number. Love doesn't care. No, this doesn't mean pedophiles are exempt. Love works both ways. I can't really say at what age one would know or understand what it is and what its not. This does relate though to #4 though. I'm not going to say how, you got to figure that out for yourself.

7: Preferences. Preferences are okay, it happens. It doesn't make you shallow automatically. Being shallow is something else entirely. Shallow is when you're not willing to make a compromise. Its when you “must” have this or that in a person. Okay sure, everyone is shallow in some way. It doesn't give you an excuse to be superficial either. Being superficial is worse than being shallow.

8: Commonality. Embrace what you have in common. It will hold you together. Just note this. It will get boring and “dry” if you have too much in common, or if you just focus on that. Differences can bring you together with a stronger bond than what you have in common could ever do. Its a balance of both. Focus too much on either side, and it will fall apart.

9: Balance. Like everything else in the world. Its a balancing act. This and that, that and this. Both sides must give and take. Its about being equal.

10: Trust. This is a big one. Trust is the foundation that any relationship is built upon. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Just that simple.

11: Communication. Without this, you can't share anything. It will fall apart. Do what ever it takes within reason. No, this doesn't mean yelling and screaming. Yes, I know. Sometimes it has to come to that, but don't make it so it happens every time. Don't be passive aggressive about it either. Face to face and give both of you a chance to speak. For your long distance relationship people. Sometimes you can't regularly talk to your lover. Its hard, but you don't have to beat yourself up about it. Use email when you can. Instant messaging is something that works when both of you have internet access 100% of the time. This is not always the case, email will give you a chance to talk even when you can't be there.

12: Pictures/gifts. These are nice, but don't make it all about either. Its easy to loose track and will ruin the relationship if it just turns into noting but giving gifts back and forth. If you are to, make them count. Something with your scent on it, like a shirt, or even an undergarment will work. Pictures also work. Nudes are okay, just don't go too overboard with them. Again, this is something to remember each other by. It is not for a porno audition.