My lovely Alexia and Luna ,

I am deeply sorry of what happened yesterday , i want to apologize a lot because i miss you , i was trying to send friend requests to luna but then i realized she blocked me but of course i do not blame her nor i will blame you if you decide not to talk to me.I completely understand why you wouldn't talk to me but i actually miss you and i regret not joining your calls , i was just afraid and scared , worried i would not get noticed (It's just what i feel not what it is) but of course you wouldn't judge me , but this is how i always feel, i am scared of like luna and you because you are both so close to each other like fucking twin/sisters , i do not want to ruin your call nor ruin your fun time *do not think dirty thanks* , i want to spend time with you of course and i love spending time with you all , i just feel trapped (which of course i shouldn't , but it's just how i feel everyday) I don't know why but this is what i always feel , I wish i could change it , but i do not know how , i always have anxiety and now that luna doesn't even want to talk to me makes me fucking die inside, and i miss you too alexia we had such a good time together in Robloxian Trash high school. I just want to say that i really fucking love you because you are my family , i did farm for Alexia but not for luna (which makes me feel like i do jack's shit for luna ) And i don't know what i want to give her , whatever she wants , i will do it for her . I didn't want to join the call with spino and d4rk is because i thought i D4rk wouldn't talk , which makes me triggered how he is allowed to talk but doesn't talk , Like i wish i could fucking talk to the ones i want to spend my time with and actually have fun with the ones i want to be with and support , but i guess you are like **50 year old man who want to kidnap me and sell my organs , as people say ** i have actually heard your voices and i fucking trust you , but they won't let me but at least she let me spend time with you *By typing* because she knew that she never lets me outside nor let's me go out with my best friends , so she didn't want me to die out of boredness , she let me talk to you girls because you loved my drawings **idk how but you did and that's why you mean a lot to me** i really want everything to go back to normal where everybody was in one group everybody was in call and we were having fun , that's what i want back. Now writting this you will make fun of me and feel pity for me , i won't blame you , i am a pitty but i just want all of you to be happy and not stressed . I will try to get over my anxiety and actually join in calls whenever you want me too . But when i actually was in a call with jairen for like the whole day is because we did not spend time together and i wanted that to change , i had to because of course i love him *it doesn't mean i fucking hate you ,  i just had to spend more time with him because he indeed has problems right now and i want to help him out** , i am really fucking sorry of what i have done and when you want me to join i will , maybe when i did not want to join it was just my period ** which we all how shit it can be** I am  really sorry , and  i want to talk to you back , because i missed you and i feel guilty of what i have done . I just need to remind myself that you ain't my enemies you are my family and you will never judge me because you love me , like i love you . I hope you at least read this , i am really sorry ..

Lots of love and lots of kisses, Rodi
I hope you are safe.

P.S If i never join calls remind me of this , okay? Thank you , LOve you <3